One of the beautiful concepts of growing older that I love is how I get to meet versions of me that I didn't know existed. And watch myself gain experience in many areas of life. In 2024, I learned about love and falling in love.
Last year was undoubtedly a year of love for many people. We were bombarded with wedding pictures every Saturday. And that got me thinking about what love really means from my point of view.
From my experience here are what I think of love:
Love is a beautiful feeling: I know this is one of the popular ways to describe love and we've heard it often enough that it might no longer hold any water for us but it's true. It's beautiful to yearn for the presence of that person, to think of them, to want the best for them.
Love is crazy: It's crazy which is why you want to go through the journey of love with someone sensible. The euphoria of love at the early stage can make one lose focus and make compromises. If you argue that love isn't crazy then why are they the last person on your mind at night and the first when you wake up in the morning. You think this is normal, sane behavior?
Love can be painful: This is a sad one but it's true. Love can be painful when you have to set your feelings aside and part ways with the one your heart wants cause he or she isn't the right one. It can be painful when it's unrequited.
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Love can be shameful: You also don't agree with this one abi? So what's the stupid smile you have on your face when you hear their voice or your phone beeps with their name on the notification. Or when you change yourself to be 'that person' for them. When you begin to learn their hobbies, read about topics they are interested in so you can have a meaningful conversation with them.
Love can be healing: Being with the right person can heal parts of you that you don't even realize need healing or is broken. For me it's about being safe enough to take the mask off and just be me. To unpack, and by unpack I don't mean to dump on him but to share for clarity sake. Cause sometimes after a long day all I need is a listening ear and a hand holding me firm.
Love is enough: I often hear that love isn't enough and I disagree. Love is enough. When you love someone you do right by them, they feel loved, respected, and heard. If we don't give or receive this then maybe it isn't love in the first place. While love is enough doesn't mean that's the only factor that keeps the relationship going. We also need mutual respect, understanding and trust. But all of these can only be triggered by the feeling of love.
Love is commitment: It's choosing someone and staying loyal to them. There are many fishes in the ocean but this particular fish na him dey enter ya eye! It's knowing that they are better humans than your partner but you still choose them. You choose them everyday for life. You also get to meet different versions of your partner. The father, entrepreneur, depressed, burnout 9-5er and you love them through their evolution.
Love is family: Love can come from different people in our lives. From parents whose face we first recognized, to siblings we grew to love and feel free around.To the new people we meet at the later stage of lives each teaches us new ways to love.
As I look back on what love used to mean to me I realize it is not static but evolves as I grow older. My expectations from love look different at every phase of my life. I hope we all find love, be loved and be in love.
