1. |
out of the ashes
01:17
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Out of the ashes
Back into the fire
Think you can get away from me?
Nothing else is worth
Going through this all over again
This is not forever
I can't
I can't
I can't
Go through this again
And again
And again
This is not my life
Again, life, again
This time I lead with what makes me bleed
This is not practice, I'm past that
The passion that I feel for this life is not simply something that can be turned on and off
It's one that has to be nurtured and cared for in abundance
Past lives were pathetic, but this one's not
This one's not
This one's not
This one's not
This one's not
This one's not
This one's not.
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2. |
this is not
02:49
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This heart that beats, it drags along as if it even matters
(This one's not, this one's not, no this one's not)
This is not how I lead, this life must be something for me
My life is led with all the pain I've endured in the past
It's made my skin tough, impenetrable in an act of self preservation
No room for outsiders, I'm sorry
It's hard enough with just me, anything else in the way is a distraction
I can barely see, with all these people standing in the way
This is not my life's purpose
The world outside is full of
Pleasure, passion, pleasure, poison
It's the one that calls when you're on track to get off it
The one that knows that you're happy in comfort
Always shaking hands with the cousin of death
But in this world, in this case, might as well be over
What reason could you possibly have to keep keeping on?
What is left here for you?
Embarrased, the future holds nothing for you
Cut the string, and start over, pathetic
Life moves on, but can you?
I can not stand the way you look back at me through the reflection
I can not stand the way you look back through the mirror
I can't stand myself, am I the only one standing in my way?
I need to focus on this
Passion
Pleasure
Pain.
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3. |
passion.
01:02
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4. |
i guess you're right
03:43
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Awake with a new day
This time i'll tell myself i can
Let my heart beat better late than never
Pleasure leads the way this time
I can't help what fuels me
This is all i want i'm begging please
Blinded like a bat lead the way
Nothing on my mind keep my head straight
Blinded like a bat lead the way
Nothing on my mind keep my head straight
Mine
This is all i it's all i it's all i want
This is all i it's all i it's all i want
This is all i it's all i it's all i want
This is all i it's all i it's all i want
I want to be brand new
I want to feel grand too
I want to be brand new
I want to feel grand too
This world does not have many things that i care to know
Outside of my mind is a scary place to go
There's nothing out there for me
But it's somewhere i must run through
Not how i want it but what i have
Overwhelmed and looking for an easy task
Now this is the path that i've always wanted
A paved road easy one to follow home
Now this is the truth not that you're asking
But i can't stand on my own my strength is gone
I guess you're right
I guess you're right
With a chip on my shoulder
With a chip on my shoulder
This time you're right
This time you're right
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5. |
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But i promise that it's your last
Next time i'll find my way home
My fire will keep me warm
It hurts it's leaving scars
But it's comfortable
Burn me
Burn me down now
Burn it all down even if this is all i have left
Burn me down
My heart yearns for this
Burn it all down
In the end i can't feel it burn me down
You can't try and stop this burn it all down
Until there's nothing left of me burn me down
I don't need it i don't need it burn it all down
Go inside don't evacuate burn it down
This flame i feel is crawling through my veins
I feel it deep within nothing's safe
There's nothing i can do to wane its wrath
But it's here it's mine until i die burning inside me
I'm burning alive see?
Turned to a grave
I'm tired of seeing myself not handle what
Important things still hang around
Don't try and help me i'm comforted by my distractions
I don't need anyone else
Don't look at me keep away
Shut me in and burn down the house
Tipped the scales again the dial's pointed right at me
There's no messing around no outside enemies
Finally alone somewhere i'm allowed to breathe
Close my eyes tight find that sweet release
Focused on simple things
Happy just to get myself through the day
All i've got all i want something small don't get in my way
I need this more than you understand
Everything else is an obstacle in my path
I don't need help i need what keeps me sane
Something to take the edge off something to shut off my brain
Please help it's never enough
Can't stop something inside begs for more with each taste
I'm not allowed to pause no such thing as a break
Can't even crack a smile these days
This house doesn't feel like a place i'd like to remain
Not the same filled with pain rot away
I'm feeling helpless burnt out
Stuck at my bottom somewhere hurt now
Burn it with fire burn it all down with everything that i have left
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6. |
pleasure.
01:49
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Pain
The passion dries me up
The pleasure burns me out
And the pain brings me comfort when nothing else knows how
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7. |
even if it hurts
03:10
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Pain
Inside, can't try, something that I despise
This is the way that I don't see
I see that I'm acting. no one around to help me
Pushed them away, I can't stand them
Sunk my ship, I'm captain
My last breath comes closer with every breath I take
This is all I've wanted, I'm begging please
This thorn that's in my side, I don't mind, it's not that deep
There's no alarm to ring, I'm done pulling the strings on this heart that beats
Let it sink down like a rock inside my chest
Nothing can fix this insurmountable mess
Going through the motions, one more box to check
This is all I have left, all I have left
Doesn't matter, end it swiftly
I have no strength to stop it or give it speed
I can't try, something that I despise
Stuck in a pickle, should I live or die?
Don't make me get on my knees
This is all I've wanted, I'm begging
This is all I've wanted, I'm begging
Please, end me, swiftly
This is all I want, nothing else
Please, please, end me, swiftly
This is all I ever wanted
This is all I ever wanted.
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8. |
it only gets worse
02:29
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This pain is something I can't stand for long
My mind wanders into the past
It's been my whole life each year is another inch on the knife
Hanging by a thread lift me off my feet
Kick down the chair
The past is not one to see
But the future's not one to be
This tree doesn't bear any fruit rotten from the inside
Dried out in decline it's only a matter of time
Turn it to ashes let me die
Hanging by a thread lift me off my feet end me
This is all I want this is all I want
It only gets worse can't you see?
I'm at the end I'm scraping bottom nothing lower
Hurts to breathe I'm only suffering
Until she takes me
Pain
I've felt blue before but not quite like this
Each time it always feels like the end
It always finds me I ride the wave high
Until it smolders me and brings me home
It keeps me anchored I know who owns me now
It burns me to a crisp until I'm a pile of ashes on the ground
It haunts me with every step I take
I'm on a leash there's no escape there's no escape there's no escape
It's only getting worse
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9. |
pain.
03:50
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I can't fight it, it always finds me, no matter how far I roam
I know I always bounce back, but how low does this deep dive go?
Rebirth only works when you learn from the past lives
And let them guide you home
Downward spiral, each new high isn't what it was before
Clear trajectory, straight into the void
Trapped like a rat, my mind inside this pile of weak bones
Torturing myself tends to get old
Sometimes I lose my sight, gain hope and feel alright
But it always comes back, it never fully leaves me alone
With passion, I lead with what makes me bleed
With pleasure, I let my heart beat
And with pain, I sit with my comfort, even if it hurts
It only gets worse, it only gets worse, it only gets worse.
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soastasphrenas Berlin, Germany
σώας τας φρένας
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soas tas phrenas
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sad & violent noise
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