Potential band name, album title, and album art all in one shot
Capt. Wolf
Perpetually tired mental health counselor, sometimes retro game streamer, comedian, Mensan, coffee connoisseur, bacon lover, chronic pain survivor, nefarious pirate, and generally all-round nice dude…
- 10 Posts
- 1.38K Comments
Capt. Wolf@lemmy.worldto
News@lemmy.world•Streamer 'Troll' Johnny Somali Found Guilty on All Counts, Sentenced to South Korean Prison Labor Camp For Public Nuisance Crimes
15·4 天前He’s the kind of asshole that will come out of it saying something stupid like, “It was nothing! I ran the place!” He’ll just roll it into his career, move on to another platform, and continue to be a big piece of shit.
Stupid post duplication…
You somehow propose this to the genie through half a larynx, he nods briefly, before slicing again, and again, and again with increasing precision, until you are reduced to a single proton.
“I’ve read Zeno too,” the genie replies.
Granted, the genie produces a large sword and slices you perfectly down the middle. The left half of you burns away to dust. “You are now… always right,” he says to your right half as you flop to the ground. Not that it matters much as your consciousness quickly fades.
P-90s? Hell no, grab the flamethrowers and the dynamite!


Capt. Wolf@lemmy.worldto
Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•When she sent me out to buy her one, I never anticipated this question
3·7 天前We did, but were quickly reminded “This is a family store.” and told to leave when we also tried out one of the crates.
Man, wow… Now there’s a long lost memory.
Original was 25-26 years ago.
Capt. Wolf@lemmy.worldto
News@lemmy.world•YouTube's ad problem just got worse: Users now seeing 90-second unskippable ads!
28·11 天前Ublock Origin, don’t surf the web without it!
Capt. Wolf@lemmy.worldto
politics @lemmy.world•Iran War Live Updates: Trump Announces Two-Week Cease-Fire, Backing Down From Threats of Imminent Devastation
1·12 天前I think it was struck on multiple times, my favorite will always been Back to the Future.

The irony totally not lost that Biff was modeled after Trump and predicted him being a corrupt criminal and woman abuser waaaaaay before all this shit happened…
Capt. Wolf@lemmy.worldto
politics @lemmy.world•Iran War Live Updates: Trump Announces Two-Week Cease-Fire, Backing Down From Threats of Imminent Devastation
91·12 天前Oh, look at that… It’s Tuesday.

Capt. Wolf@lemmy.worldto
News@lemmy.world•Trump warns a 'whole civilization will die tonight' if a deal with Iran isn't reached
8·13 天前Well, now you’re just being antisemitic… /s
Capt. Wolf@lemmy.worldto
politics @lemmy.world•'Blasphemous': Outrage as Trump's faith advisor compares him to Jesus during Easter event
20·18 天前Cool, so we’ll be parading him through DC, nailing him to a cross, and jamming a spear in him later today then, right?
Capt. Wolf@lemmy.worldto
World News@lemmy.world•Rocket lifts off with four Artemis II astronauts on a mission to the moon and backEnglish
3·17 天前Same way moon landing deniers do.
“The whole thing is staged! Nobody actually flew anywhere! They just put some guys in costumes and filmed them on a sound stage in Hollywood!”
Capt. Wolf@lemmy.worldto
News@lemmy.world•Trump tells aides he is willing to end Iran war without reopening Hormuz, WSJ reports
31·20 天前Global economy fucked even more = mission successful
He’s not going to rest until we’re in a global depression.
Capt. Wolf@lemmy.worldto
politics @lemmy.world•Trump Thinks He Can Magically Control the Price of Oil
5·22 天前I agree, he is a disgusting, barely-excusable facsimile of a human. But I’m also a firm believer that laughing at him is a powerful weapon. It’d hurt his ego so much more.
You want to stop dictators? Rob them of the power, undermine it. Make them a joke.
Remember… Hitler has only got one ball
Capt. Wolf@lemmy.worldto
politics @lemmy.world•Trump Thinks He Can Magically Control the Price of Oil
182·22 天前Best than I could do on my phone right now…

Capt. Wolf@lemmy.worldto
Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world•"Summer 2026 is going to be amazing".. World-Leaders:
4·22 天前Should be coming up any minute now as long as someone managed to take out that little punk with the red hair.










“the Trump team lied” is pretty much just a default assumption until proven otherwise.