I’m putting a curse on your entire bloodline that they keep finding loose change inside things. Fuck off with my upvote.

I’ve read about that before, it was a horrible read. I don’t know why I decided to read about it again. It was a horrible read, again.

POV: You work for the New York Parking Authority. You could be out writing tickets, but it’s your department’s turn to fight the electricity at the bottom of the ocean.

If you’re wanting like my friend was, you’ll keep asking for extensions and missing deadlines until you’re assigned an auditor, at which point you’ll finally submit paperwork covering your two tax documents, and then complain that the IRS is being unreasonable.

Now, she just does things on time.

That’s a big difference here vs other areas, I’ve found. CPS Energy delivers a shitty product, but does their best to be reasonable with their customers (as long as you’re not a business). But, for example, scope an outlet on the same grid as Northstar Mall, but not at Northstar, during peak hours, and you’ll be lucky to find a reading above 100V.

If you call CPS Energy to complain that they broke some of your sensitive electronics from irregular power levels, they’ll often credit your account, and possibly set up some new equipment in your neighborhood, or even directly to your house. Source: I casually mentioned a mild nuisance to a CPS Energy operator while I had a permit pulled for a new breaker box install, and suddenly had more wires running to the pole in my back alley, a larger transformer, and more robust wires running to my house.

In many other places where grids are more robust by default, the general sentiment appears to be, “fuck you, we charge more because we offer more, and any issues are probably your own fault. Unless they’re not your fault, in which case, it’s a contractor’s fault.” When I lived in NJ, if I had power issues at the house where I was a tenant and called PSE&G, they’d say, “sorry, we don’t have any reports of issues in your area, try checking your breakers.” If I instead polled my neighbors and reported other affected addresses, or identified the issue by walking around the neighborhood, then PSE&G would be a lot more likely to say that they’ll send a truck out to look into the problem.

Anyway, the point is that we 210ers have the luxury of saying, “if I feel it’s unreasonable, then I’m gonna say something and they’re gonna be reasonable.” In other lands across the country, energy companies will gladly steamroll you before ever considering how reasonable their policies are.

Yeah, it goes “an eye for an eye is really cool. You guys should try it sometime.”

What a freak on a leash

You can’t joke like that, it hurts my feelings. You can’t tell me the truth, it hurts my feelings. You can’t exist in my same space, it hurts my feelings. Acknowledging your feelings hurts my feelings.

If you hurt my feelings, I’ll fucking kill you. Because you’re a snowflake.

And because of states’ rights

He did it to the Pope, what made Orbán think it wouldn’t happen to his campaign?

I’m gonna need the tire inflator

They’ll allow literally anything! One time, they even let someone perform Living on a Prayer, if you can believe that! And Hooked on a Feeling. And Born in the U.S.A. Now that I think about it, maybe New Jersey isn’t the barrier you were referencing.

Slipped right through my fingers while I was sitting on my hands!

Hi, man here. Not all men #NotAllMen, some men like me never #NotAllMen. I just need you to know that I’m special in knowing that not all men #NotAllMen, unlike those other men who #NotAllMen, who are the biggest part of the problem that I often accidentally defend by trying to let you know that I’m still fuckable.

No, that was me. Send me pictures of your penis with your driver’s license, bank account info, and birth certificate properly framed and in focus. This is my kink and will make me do a good sex fr fr no cap lit fam.

6 7,
TheFartographer: a sexy person of your desired age and gender

When taken to karaoke, I’ll sing only one song, and it’ll be an aggressive metal song sung and screamed with my full energy and passion that I used to give at live performances. And then I’ll quietly sit for the rest of the night, enjoying the knowledge that no one else will try to pressure me into singing another song.

CCDD vaccines are only locally effective. Make sure that a medical professional delivers the circle circle square square treatment so that the vaccine can be distributed everywhere.

Yeah Roooooyyyyyyyyy!

Cars don’t randomly start up and drive themselves yet. If everyone were to stop believing in cars, they’d just become mythical objects that litter the world but are of no one’s concern.

You better look out. Joe Rogan is gonna come after you in 15 months, when he finally gets your joke.