He may be a Sox fan, but he’s still one of ours. -Chicago

Is he smoking while wearing a mask? That’s pretty cool, NGL.

I get so annoyed when I remember that most religions boil down to “trust me bro.”

Hey it’s Trump! Everybody point and laugh!

Oh don’t worry, it’s going to get extremely exciting very soon - but you didn’t hear it from me.

-Q

I know who Katy Perryb is, but the only Ruby Rose I know of is from RWBY.

To be fair, where else are you gonna find even one pay phone, much less a row of them anymore?

Hello, Empire Carpet? I’m in Cook County jail and really need to have my cell upholstered.

Definitely not sorry to be that guy, but Gotham is in the United States, and we say “math” not “maths.”

Weird fact, as I was writing this my phone autocorrected “maths” as “Martha.” I don’t know how I feel about it.

Yeah I forgot to mention that part, thanks.

SCP-294-J is to be monitored by a Foundation appointed psychiatrist. Once every three months SCP-294-J is to be administered all tests from the Mu-9 battery and the results logged in file SCP-294-J-A. Observations not otherwise contained in the Mu-9 tests should be annotated with extreme attention to detail. This is to be presented to the entity as a psychological therapy and evaluation session for the purposes of legally administering prescription medication for a mundane ADHD diagnosis. The testing and administration personnel must take extreme care to maintain the facade of a psychiatric medical office, and ensure the entity believes their diagnosis and all associated medical activities reinforce the entity’s belief that their diagnosis and evaluation are for the purpose of treating their ADHD.

If at any time during testing SCP-294-J makes any indication of doubt or suspicion of their ADHD diagnosis, they are to be given a supplementary medication of specially formulated amnestic compound B-294-J-S1.

If at any point during evaluation SCP-294-J is not showing its typical personality traits (see description), they are to be immediately sedated, given a 3cc injection of compound 789, and given one dose of specially formulated amnestic B-294-J-S2.

SCP-294-J is to be given a treatment regimen of compound 789 tablets, disguised as an ADHD medication. The distribution of compound 789 is to be performed by a member of Foundation medical staff to be embedded in the preferred pharmacy of SCP-294-J.

Additional monitoring is to be performed via the inclusion of micro surveillance cameras and microphones at places SCP-294-J frequents, including but not limited to their domicile, place of employment, and any educational instructions they attend.

If at any time it is believed that SCP-294-J is not taking their medication, demonstrates the usage (consciously or unconsciously) of their anonymous abilities, deviates from their typical personality traits, or otherwise demonstrates behavior, personality traits, or beliefs outside the parameters this described, MTF Verdant-8, Doctor’s Helpers, is to be deployed to sedate and isolate them for supplementary treatment. If necessary the use of tranquilizing darts, sedative gas, or other weaponized non-lethal chemical incapacitating compound is permitted.

Under no circumstances is violence of any kind to be used by personal, including MTF operatives, on SCP-294-J.

In the event SCP-294-J is subjected to violence, MTF-Verdant 9 is to respond to the location of the SCP, and if possible incapacitate it using approved methods. If SCP-294-J is not able to be incapacitated, the MTF should instead focus on securing the safety of nearby civilians and, if necessary, the disabling of any persons involved in said violence. The monitoring doctor should be immediately notified of the situation and escorted to SCP-294-J, where they will need to calm the entity sufficiently to permit sedation.

Once SCP-294-J has been sedatedv and secured, the doctor will be responsible for detailing and ensuring their medical meds are met and amnestics are administered, with an appropriate cover story provided as they deem appropriate.

Some of them are selling to equity firms do be cannibalized and advanced/destroyed, or weirder, radically rebranded. For example:

• Be eco-friendly, online shoe company
• Overextend like crazy by buying brick and mortar stores
• Go broke and sell for pennies on the dollar
• Be different company
• Buy failed shoe company
• Change name completely
• Pivot to AI computing leases
• Somehow buy billions in already wait listed technology for inflated prices
• ???

I’d rather be a lab specimen. They’d treat me better than the government, rent and food are free, and when they’re done I even get to be euthanized. Seriously, huge improvement.

It’s the perfect shade of white, smack in between ejaculate and Proof Boy. Tastes better than both.

Lead therapy.

Artesian, hand-crafted joke left on countertop for wife to discover.

The corporations can’t sell you an overpriced newer model of your old one doesn’t completely die from the slightest issue.

Mmm, delicious ink.

It’d sure be a shame if somebody leaked that data.

Humanity in a nutshell.