I was told our dog had gone to live on a farm. For a long time afterwards I pestered to be allowed to visit the dog on said farm, and was told it would be too upsetting for him. “He wouldn’t understand.”

Years later I found out the dog had run away, gotten into a field, and killed a sheep. He was identified by the farmer, and someone official came to our house and took him away to be shot.

I wish they had just told me he’d been run over.

Stationery shops do it for me.

There’s a mute button - “mute theme”.

Not in my case - I’m 73 and despite physical challenges I’m happier than I’ve ever been. What makes me happy is having wonderful friends, plenty of interests and all my marbles.

I look back on my anxious 20-something self with pity. Why was I so bloody worried what everyone would think of me?

My late dog, a rescue greyhound, was a big chucklehead with low impulse control. The first few walks with him on the lead were a nightmare. What worked was turning the leash into a brake. If he pulled on it, I stopped. When he stopped pulling, I carried on. It took about a fortnight of twice-daily walks for him to understand (he was really not very bright), but in the end it clicked. He became the master of putting the most exquisitely gentle pressure on the leash to try and hurry me along without turning on the “brakes”.

Also, any can that is domed - something inside is making gas that is pushing on the metal. Not good. Very, very bad.

Carrot in a Box

Lebensraum.

I moved to a Kobo e-reader a while back as part of de-Amazoning my life, and while I’m annoyed that they’ve stopped supporting my 2011 Kindle Keyboard, it means I can finally close my account.

The Kindle is still perfectly usable after all these years. I jailbroke it not long after I bought it because I hated the wallpapers. I found a website where you could create your own, so I have a lovely array of images on it. One time I dropped it in the bath, and bought a new one. That turned out to be one of a run of KKs that developed a crack in the case, so I phoned customer service and sent it off for a replacement (I know, right?!?). While waiting for it to arrive, I dug out my old drowned reader and charged it up - and it was fine!! I sold the replacement when it arrived.

And now this: “To minimize any disruption, we’re offering a promotional code for 20% off select new Kindle devices as well as a £15 eBook credit that will be automatically added to your account after purchasing a new device”. As if. Fuck off.

Ok thanks. I’m amazed it passed me by.

My stance is: you can say what you like, but I am going to judge you by your words.

I can’t stand that line of “oooh, you can’t say anything these days”, it’s absolute bullshit.

A friend has a pair of Raybans she bought 25 years ago. One day last year she dropped them and they were run over by a trailer with a boat on it. She was pretty upset until she realised they weren’t damaged, not even scuffed. I witnessed this, it was incredible. Worth the expense, I would say.

I was in a fender bender a few years ago where the other party insisted on getting the police involved because of injury - the passenger slumped dramatically to the ground complaining of whiplash. The officer who attended said, “You don’t have whiplash.” And explained to her the concept of crumple zones in modern cars absorbing forces from impact. Then he declared it a no-fault accident (it was actually my fault).

Sudden spike in sales of plasma balls.

This is the second time today I’ve Turkey spelled this way. First time was on a travel programme on TV. They didn’t call Italy Italia, so why this? Did I miss something?

VLC for me too. What a great program it is, never a single problem.

Last year I had mystery bees coming and going from an unused compost bin. Took photos and showed them to an etymologist. He identified them as chocolate mining bees (no, no chocolate is being mined). I was pleased to see them hanging out in my garden. I keep a few corners of rough ground with piles of sticks etc to offer shelter for bumblers and others; it was funny to see these bees deciding the bin was better.

They must be competent story of the wedding capturers, many are not.

At a niece’s wedding the photographer had been asked to video the ceremony. The resulting film lingered on an especially pretty bridesmaid during the exchange of vows and rings.

Thanks, this is excellent pub quiz knowledge!

Real historic concentration camps, in case anyone is wondering.