The government has executed scores of people for exercising their right to bare arms.

Turns out you only have the rights the police are willing to respect. Which means you don’t actually have any.

You put it in quotes. Like a big ole scaredycat

Let’s overthrow the government, hang all the billionaires from highway overpasses, and set anyone who resists us on fire.

…

In… In Minecraft

Ummm… Neither?

Marat maybe?

Needs more hand bruises

Rounding up random brown people, including American citizens and sending them overseas to prison camps?

That’s fine.

Raping children for decades?

Perfectly cool.

Cringey blasphemy?

HE CROSSED THE LINE

That’s part of the joke.

I mean it’s not like it’s Cobol. Or Perl! Could you imagine?

Ummm… Huh?

Luigi, as it happens, mains Toad. And he’s tired of being asked about it. I know because I was also playing Mario kart with him at the time. It was quite the party.

There was that one time when Grant really tried. He actually made progress too.

It was all immediately undone the second he was out of office. But he did make progress.

Ok

It’s cheap, and it’s beautiful. With a little bit of money you could live like a king there

I mean, I voted for her knowing she was going to lose if that helps you at all. Same for Clinton actually, who ran on an identical platform and lost to the same fucking guy.

It’s on the Democrats. for absolutely refusing to run on policy. Twice.

Mostly feet.

“I bet you won’t vote for a woman!”

… Ok… Do you have any policy positions we should know about?

“You wouldn’t vote for THAT guy over a woman would you?!”

Please … We literally just want healthc-

“LOOK, REPUBLICANS THAT DON’T LIKE HIM!”

Anybody who isn’t adamantly pro-capitalist.

Weird how much those groups overlap huh?

I have fond memories of stealing my buddy’s S10 with a screwdriver. We had summer school together and I’d move it down the lot. To get me back one time he and a few of the other delinquents picked up my Tercel and carried it to a different lot. Good times.

How well did “one country two systems” work for Hong Kong?

By submitting to the PRC, the ROC loses it’s foreign allies guaranteeing it’s autonomy.

Also the microprocessors we need for things like, missiles and other fancy weapons are made primarily in Taiwan, China wants control of that.

Sorry the dimension you’ve been transported to has laws of physics that don’t allow water to exist.

Which means you’ve got a few precious seconds to get yourself home before you violently erupt as your water molecules each individually break apart in to hydrazine.

Spoilers… For a joke from a kid’s movie with the plot depth of a sidewalk rain pond from 13 years ago.

Some of the children obsessed with that movie when it came out are old enough to rent a car now.