Member-only story
Inner Voice
A source of strength, not another reason to suffer
I started changing the way I speak to myself, and that changed many things for me.
Shrinking myself for everyone else
I was always adjusting for others, no matter how difficult it seemed to me. I was shrinking myself in every way, be it expressing my thoughts, taking up space physically, or expressing my emotions and feelings.
I adjusted myself thinking that if I took up space, if I put myself first, people would view me as dominating and would think of me as not kind, not adjusting, not cooperative. All of this is due to my upbringing.
Where it came from
I was brought up being told I need to adjust, I need to just zip my mouth. I had no right to express my feelings and emotions. Only the other person was the hero. Even today, my parents hold the same beliefs.
What it was doing to me
All the stored, bottled-up feelings: I don’t know when they will manifest as illness in my body. I am already suffering from migraines due to constant stress, constantly living in fear with an abusive husband.
I am just tired of suppressing my inner voice.
