Is your partner 'micro-cheating' on you? Scientists reveal the 6 red flags to look out for - and warn small indiscretions can be a 'slippery slope' to a full-blown affair
When it comes to cheating, you might first think of your partner having sex with - or even just kissing - someone else.
But what about lingering a little too long at the water cooler to talk a co-worker?
According to psychologists, this could be a sign that your partner is 'micro-cheating' on you.
Micro-cheating is a term popularised by Australian psychologist Melanie Schilling, and refers to 'behaviours that lead someone to question their partner's emotional or physical commitment to the relationship.'
On their own, these behaviours sound fairly innocent.
But over time, they can become a 'slippery slope' to a full-blown affair, according to Abby Medcalf, a psychologist and author in Berkeley, California.
'It's cheating if your partner doesn't like it, or doesn't know about it, or wouldn't like it if they knew about it,' she said.
So, is your partner micro-cheating on you? Here are the six red flags to look out for.
When it comes to cheating, you might first think of your partner having sex with - or even just kissing - someone else. But what about lingering a little too long at the water cooler to talk a co-worker? (stock image)
According to Ms Medcalf, micro-cheating usually happens online. Typically, this would involve your partner texting or DM-ing someone via social media (stock image)
According to Marriage.com, between 10 and 25 per cent of couples cheat (depending on which gender is answering and what survey/study/statistic you read).
Of these, somewhere near 20 per cent will never reveal the affair to their partner.
While some affairs are spur-of-the-moment, most begin with small indiscretions, known as micro-cheating.
Amid the proliferation of technology, micro-cheating usually happens online these days, according to Ms Medcalf.
Typically, this would involve your partner texting or DM-ing someone via social media.
However, other key signs could include liking a co-worker's photo on social media, or even checking in on Slack more often than usual.
Offline, meanwhile, the psychologist highlights three seemingly-innocent behaviours that could indicate your partner is micro-cheating.
If your partner is dressing up more often than usual, it could be a sign that they're 'micro-cheating' (stock image)
Of course, not everyone will see these behaviours as red flags.
'There isn't a right and wrong in relationships,' Ms Medcalf said.
'It comes down to preferences.'
If you spot one of these behaviours in your partner, it's best not to jump to conclusions, according to William Schroeder, owner of Just Mind Counseling centres.
Instead, he advises casually mentioning that you have noticed the behaviour, and are worried about what it means.
'Having that kind of curiosity is a much better place to have a conversation,' he said.
The expert added that spotting micro-cheating behaviour in your partner doesn't necessarily mean the end of you relationship.
'It can be this crisis to rebuild,' he said.
'Sometimes when these little micro-cheating examples come up, it can be really helpful to understand, 'Alright, why is this coming up for me?''
Micro-cheating isn't a new concept, despite the recent trending on TikTok.
British relationship expert Annabelle Knight, from Lovehoney explained: 'In this viral social media form, it generally describes behaviours that don't classify as explicit cheating or physical actions.
'Instead, it's more likely to be emotional.
'This could be liking someone's social media pictures, staying in contact with an ex, following someone you find attractive who isn't your partner or having close friendships with the opposite sex in heterosexual relationships.
'It could also be behaviours that help someone conceal their relationship, leaving them open to someone else, like not posting a partner on social media or downplaying a relationship in conversation.'
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