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Good Girls Gone Wild
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Transcript
00:00:00Oh, Dad.
00:00:24Hello?
00:00:26Cheryl, we have to talk about our birthday plans.
00:00:28I mean, it's only two days away,
00:00:30and we still haven't decided the perfect way to celebrate.
00:00:33So I was thinking, maybe we could all take a trip to.
00:00:37Me too.
00:00:38I meant to tell you before, but I wanted to be sure.
00:00:42I think I'm going to spend my birthday with Jake.
00:00:45I'm going to lose my virginity to him.
00:00:47You know, I want to surprise him.
00:00:49What?
00:00:50But you can't.
00:00:51I mean, I thought we were going to wait until marriage.
00:00:54Besides, you can't do that to us.
00:00:56You can't break tradition that way.
00:00:58This is bad.
00:01:01You know, I'm going to tell Lexi.
00:01:02She's going to be very unhappy about this.
00:01:11Come on, Lexi.
00:01:12So, girls, what are we going to do for our birthday?
00:01:27Sue, we have plenty of time to figure something out.
00:01:32But this is the big 1-8.
00:01:35I mean, every year since her mom's met in the hospital,
00:01:37we've done something new and special.
00:01:39But this has to be newer and more special.
00:01:42So what's something we've never done before?
00:01:45Mushrooms?
00:01:46No, not like that.
00:01:48Like something nice.
00:01:50Like maybe a trip.
00:01:51Like a mushroom trip?
00:01:53No.
00:01:56Sorry, Sue.
00:01:56I have a date.
00:01:58So do I.
00:02:00Sorry, Sue.
00:02:01Don't worry, Sue.
00:02:02We'll figure it out.
00:02:03Oh, flowers, are these from you?
00:02:16Yeah, sure.
00:02:19Here you go.
00:02:20No card, but I thought I saw one.
00:02:22I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
00:02:26I guess you still make me nervous.
00:02:31Oh, Jake.
00:02:36Maybe I should come in and hang out for a minute.
00:02:38No, Jake, not yet.
00:02:40When we do it, I want it to be really special.
00:02:43The best night of my life.
00:02:44It will be.
00:02:45I promise.
00:02:46It'll always be amazing with you and me together.
00:02:52Jake, no, I have to go.
00:02:57I have to work on my art project.
00:03:00You know, I thought art was going to be a really easy elective,
00:03:03but I guess I should have taken more math.
00:03:07So you're going to come to my birthday, OK?
00:03:10This Saturday?
00:03:11Of course.
00:03:15Thanks.
00:03:16OK, bye.
00:03:22Oh, baby, you're so hot.
00:03:33I'm going to do you so good.
00:03:34Oh, yeah, baby.
00:03:35Yeah.
00:03:36What was your name again?
00:03:37Rah.
00:03:38Sex guy.
00:03:43Lexi is so upset she's speechless.
00:03:47Yeah, right.
00:03:48I bet.
00:03:52Cheryl's losing her virginity on Saturday?
00:03:57Oh, no.
00:03:59Does not compute.
00:04:00Want to talk in person ASAP.
00:04:06Oh, huh.
00:04:07Hi.
00:04:09When did you go home?
00:04:10So is it true?
00:04:11Yes, it is.
00:04:12It's just, it's the right time and Jake's the right man.
00:04:18I mean, he's handsome and smart and wealthy and he has a really bright future ahead of him.
00:04:25So I just think it's the right time.
00:04:28Lexi, tell her losing our virginity is one of those milestones we should all face together.
00:04:32On our birthday, yes, but not on this birthday.
00:04:35Like, maybe on our 23rd birthday.
00:04:37Or maybe even, like, our 29th.
00:04:40Eight.
00:04:41Maybe.
00:04:42Listen, guys, I know it's tradition, but I'm sorry.
00:04:47But Cheryl, Sue is right.
00:05:02We do always do something special on our birthday.
00:05:04Does Jake really have such a tiny little needle dick?
00:05:08It's not Jake.
00:05:10It's the male ideal.
00:05:12Like, a Greek god or Sue's dad.
00:05:16Right.
00:05:17Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:05:19I mean, it kind of sucks.
00:05:21I'm not really an artist.
00:05:22Girls, can you just stop changing the subject?
00:05:24The point is, we should all lose our virginities together on the same day.
00:05:28And I'm just not ready yet.
00:05:30I'm waiting for a sign.
00:05:32And then I'll know it's right.
00:05:33Look, I can go either way.
00:05:35I mean, I'm fine with just 69, 79, anal.
00:05:40I don't feel any rush to actually do the deed.
00:05:43Besides, I know it'll never live up to my rabbit anyway.
00:05:46But if you want to do it this year, then maybe we all should.
00:05:51You know, it could be like our big 18th birthday thing.
00:05:58Where are you going at 6.30 in the morning?
00:06:01To church to pray for you.
00:06:03I want to be first in line.
00:06:06I'm getting some sleep.
00:06:08Yeah, me too.
00:06:17Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
00:06:19It has been four days since my last confession.
00:06:21I accused myself of the following sins.
00:06:23Mm-hmm.
00:06:26Okay, so I'm really embarrassed to talk about this, but...
00:06:30It's about sex.
00:06:32Mm-hmm.
00:06:34I mean, not me.
00:06:35I've never gone past second base with a guy.
00:06:37Mm-hmm.
00:06:39I've never even seen a guy's...
00:06:41Well, there was that one time I took the pants off my Ken doll.
00:06:44But I was dressing him up as Jesus, and I wanted to see his thing.
00:06:48But there was nothing there.
00:06:52Okay, so it's about my friends.
00:06:54My best friends.
00:06:56They're gonna do something really bad this weekend.
00:06:59Okay.
00:07:00Third base.
00:07:02What?
00:07:03No.
00:07:04Like, sex.
00:07:05Like, intercourse.
00:07:07With boys, they barely even know.
00:07:08I mean, they really need us intervention.
00:07:10If you know what I mean.
00:07:11All the way.
00:07:12Go all the way.
00:07:14Woody?
00:07:15What?
00:07:18Ah!
00:07:20How could you do so?
00:07:22You're a bad, bad person.
00:07:26What?
00:07:27Yes!
00:07:32Yes!
00:07:33Run!
00:07:35Run!
00:07:36Home route!
00:07:38Ah!
00:07:39Damn it!
00:07:41You fucking Yankees.
00:07:44Sorry.
00:07:57Sue, it is 1 p.m.
00:08:09Would you have a little consideration?
00:08:11I'm trying to sleep.
00:08:13Jeez, can you guys please keep it down?
00:08:17I have an announcement to make.
00:08:18I want to do it.
00:08:20Do you hear me?
00:08:21I want to do it.
00:08:24This weekend.
00:08:25On our birthday.
00:08:26Do what?
00:08:29It.
00:08:30Screw.
00:08:31Screwing.
00:08:32Boning.
00:08:33Making the beast with two backs.
00:08:34You know.
00:08:35Shagging.
00:08:36Fucking.
00:08:38You do.
00:08:40But what about all your religious stuff?
00:08:42And what about your sign from heaven?
00:08:45Oh, I got a sign.
00:08:46At church.
00:08:47Really?
00:08:49Well.
00:08:50Okay, great.
00:08:52We're all in then.
00:08:53So we'll have a big pool party and we'll do it there.
00:08:56Right?
00:08:58Right.
00:09:00I'll start making the shopping list.
00:09:10Hey, Frank.
00:09:12Hi, Sue.
00:09:14Guys, we didn't invite Frank to the party.
00:09:16I don't know, do you think he'd even have fun?
00:09:18Yeah, he's blind.
00:09:19Blind people can do everything regular people can do.
00:09:26Wait, wait, are you back?
00:09:29Um, I was wondering, we're throwing this party tomorrow night.
00:09:33It's for our birthdays.
00:09:34Do you want to come?
00:09:35Do you think he can see at me short?
00:09:49Well, the house looks done.
00:09:51Tomorrow's the big day.
00:09:53We finally turn 18.
00:09:55And finally lose our virginity.
00:09:57Well, we better get our beady sleep because the party starts tomorrow at 2.
00:10:00So, okay, we know who Cheryl's going to do it with, Jake.
00:10:04And I'll probably do that guy Rod.
00:10:06But Sue, who are you going to pick?
00:10:07To pop your chair.
00:10:09It's easy.
00:10:10I've known for the past six years, ever since catechism.
00:10:15What the fuck is catechism?
00:10:16I think it's a baby panda wrapped in peanut butter.
00:10:18Yeah.
00:10:28My soulmate.
00:10:31Chris?
00:10:33Sue, you, um, might want to think about picking a backup.
00:10:37I mean...
00:10:38What? No, Chris is perfect.
00:10:40He played Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar last year at camp.
00:10:43Plus, his name's Chris. It's a sign.
00:10:44Sue, the only sign is that Chris has a major case of gay face.
00:10:50What? He does not.
00:10:52Anyway, there's no such thing as gay face.
00:10:54He looks just like Justin Bieber.
00:10:56With a little bit of Zac Efron and just a hint of Ryan Seacrest.
00:11:00Who the fuck's Ryan Seacrest?
00:11:03Look, Chris is my soulmate.
00:11:05Okay, well, sweet dreams.
00:11:08See you in the morning.
00:11:15I knew it would happen someday.
00:11:18I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.
00:11:44You're so perfect.
00:11:50You're so perfect.
00:12:14I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:24I knew that's what I look like.
00:12:25Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:12:41Too bad no one could ever compare to you.
00:12:44Tomorrow's their day.
00:12:46Tomorrow's their day.
00:13:14Oh, my gosh.
00:13:22They're coming.
00:13:23Lexi, Cheryl, hurry.
00:13:28Ew, why?
00:13:30It's for Jake to unwrap me.
00:13:31It's going to be really sexy.
00:13:33I'm going to suck.
00:13:34You're going to die of asphyxiation.
00:13:36He's going to be really sexy.
00:13:38It's stupid.
00:13:39Just screw him.
00:13:40That's what he wants.
00:13:41That's what all guys want.
00:13:42Who hurt you as a child?
00:13:44Oh, Christ.
00:13:45I'm going to have your mouth, too.
00:13:47Anyway, what guys want is someone who's sexy,
00:13:50not someone they can just have sex with.
00:13:52You're an idiot.
00:13:53A very smooth, plastic-wrapped idiot.
00:13:58Guys, seriously, come on.
00:13:59Hurry up.
00:14:01Oh, what a cool bracelet.
00:14:06I love it.
00:14:09You should put that down, though,
00:14:10because it's like, it's really...
00:14:11Very fragile.
00:14:12Yeah.
00:14:12Set it down with me.
00:14:15Hurry up.
00:14:18Those were your anal beats, right?
00:14:19Yeah.
00:14:20I thought so.
00:14:20Oh, we're going to have some fun.
00:14:45Oh, Attack of the Wet T-Shirts.
00:14:47Nice.
00:14:47Nice.
00:14:49Come on.
00:14:53Check, check, check, check, check.
00:14:57Happy birthday, Lex.
00:14:59No, Joanna, we said no gifts.
00:15:03That is lip poison to pump your lips,
00:15:05but be careful it stings.
00:15:07And the other one is edible massage oil.
00:15:09Oh, how did you know?
00:15:11I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:15:13I'm going to use both of these tonight.
00:15:13Please, come on.
00:15:19Poster, what's your cutie?
00:15:22Please don't touch my service time.
00:15:24All right, sorry.
00:15:25Are you okay now?
00:15:26Yeah, I'm fine.
00:15:27Okay, I'll see you later.
00:15:31I can't believe you haven't heard of it.
00:15:33This is crazy.
00:15:34Jake!
00:15:35Hi!
00:15:36Hey, babe.
00:15:38Happy birthday.
00:15:40Oh, you didn't have to give me anything.
00:15:43What?
00:15:44You want a beer?
00:15:48No.
00:15:48Oh, hon.
00:15:53Yeah.
00:15:56I have your present here.
00:15:58I'll give it to you later.
00:15:59The time's right.
00:16:01He didn't have to give me anything.
00:16:04And I have a present for you
00:16:06that I want you to unwrap later.
00:16:09Hey, Ralph.
00:16:11We need you to settle this bet over here real quick.
00:16:14We'll bet.
00:16:14Sure.
00:16:14All right, this is my man right here.
00:16:20Hey.
00:16:20Hey.
00:16:21How you doing?
00:16:22Hey.
00:16:31Check it out!
00:16:34Dare me?
00:16:38Woo!
00:16:44Oh, dude, look at those.
00:16:52Are those real?
00:16:53I don't...
00:16:53Have you guys seen Cheryl?
00:16:54Hey!
00:16:55Ah, dude, move!
00:16:56Come on, lame!
00:16:57Oh, all right.
00:16:58Okay.
00:16:59I'll see you guys later.
00:17:00Go do some push-ups or something.
00:17:01Aw, the move!
00:17:0220 bucks says,
00:17:03by the end of the day,
00:17:04I will be motorboating those kitties.
00:17:06Yeah!
00:17:08They're fake anyways.
00:17:09Who cares?
00:17:11Okay.
00:17:11Oh, dude, dude!
00:17:16I'm blind, you fucking asshole.
00:17:21Sue, no, it's your birthday.
00:17:23Here, let me.
00:17:24Joanna, no.
00:17:24Just go enjoy the party.
00:17:26Come on.
00:17:28Open.
00:17:31Hey.
00:17:32Do my lips look any plumper?
00:17:33I put this stuff on,
00:17:34but I can't really feel anything yet.
00:17:38Have you guys seen Jake?
00:17:39I haven't seen him anywhere.
00:17:40It just, like, disappeared.
00:17:53Are these real?
00:17:54Of course they are.
00:17:57How come I haven't met you before?
00:17:59I don't know.
00:18:00Maybe he's just gonna be around.
00:18:01Ryan, have you seen Jake?
00:18:02Um, I think he's around or something.
00:18:05Maybe upstairs.
00:18:06I don't know.
00:18:07Maybe he wants to go get my birthday present.
00:18:10That's probably where he went.
00:18:13Oh, well.
00:18:16Liquid courage?
00:18:17Yeah.
00:18:18Atta girl.
00:18:22Vodka cranberry?
00:18:23It's really simple.
00:18:26Well, I guess it's now or never.
00:18:28I can go meet her.
00:18:28We're out.
00:18:30Sue?
00:18:31Are you okay?
00:18:32Sue?
00:18:33Relax.
00:18:35They're just eyes.
00:18:37Okay, nothing to be scared of.
00:18:38Seriously.
00:18:39You're gonna be fine.
00:18:40Is Chris here?
00:18:46Wow, it's even worse in person, isn't it?
00:18:49No.
00:18:49He does not have gay face.
00:18:51I'm gonna prove it to you.
00:18:53I'm gonna do it.
00:18:54I'm gonna do it.
00:19:07I'm gonna do this.
00:19:09Go back.
00:19:10Oh, come on.
00:19:12Hey, you can do this.
00:19:14Just act like a slut.
00:19:18Just pretend you're Lexi.
00:19:21Yeah, my favorite chapter of song is War.
00:19:31Chris.
00:19:32Hi.
00:19:33Can I talk to you?
00:19:35Uh-huh.
00:19:36Uh, in private?
00:19:37No.
00:19:38Oh.
00:19:38Sorry.
00:19:39Oh.
00:19:40Oh.
00:19:40Oh.
00:19:40Oh.
00:19:40Oh.
00:19:40Oh.
00:19:40Oh.
00:19:41Oh.
00:19:41Oh.
00:19:42Oh.
00:19:42Oh.
00:19:43Oh.
00:19:43Oh.
00:19:44Oh.
00:19:44Oh.
00:19:45Oh.
00:19:45Oh.
00:19:46Oh.
00:19:46Oh.
00:19:47Oh.
00:19:47Oh.
00:19:48Oh.
00:19:48Oh.
00:19:49Oh.
00:19:49Oh.
00:19:50Oh.
00:19:50Oh.
00:19:50Oh.
00:19:51Oh.
00:19:51Hey, Lexi.
00:19:52Hey, Lexi.
00:19:53What?
00:19:54Chris.
00:19:56You're so sexy.
00:19:58Ever since you played Jesus at camp, I've just, I've known that we were meant to be together.
00:20:05And I really want to...
00:20:08Oh, what are you doing?
00:20:10Is that wrong?
00:20:11Sue, what's gotten into you?
00:20:13Nothing.
00:20:13I'm sorry.
00:20:14I'm sorry.
00:20:15I don't know how to do this.
00:20:16Sue.
00:20:17Sue.
00:20:18Sue.
00:20:19Sue.
00:20:20Sue.
00:20:21I understand these urges.
00:20:25And, you know, I like you too.
00:20:28Really?
00:20:29You do?
00:20:30You do?
00:20:31I do.
00:20:32I do.
00:20:33I really do.
00:20:34I like you too.
00:20:35Really?
00:20:36You do?
00:20:37I do.
00:20:38I really do.
00:20:39It's just...
00:20:40I've devoted a lot of my life to one certain man.
00:20:45Right.
00:20:47Lexi said you were...
00:20:48Jesus.
00:20:49Oh.
00:20:50That man.
00:20:51Of course.
00:20:52What did you think?
00:20:53Oh, nothing.
00:20:55So we can still do this then?
00:20:57Oh, Sue.
00:21:00You know, for me, when I think about that man who died for our sins, when I think about him up there on that cross, so helpless.
00:21:13Yet so muscular, with his strong thighs crossed over each other so delicately beneath that ragged loincloth, growing so hot, so sweaty, beneath that hot, hot sun.
00:21:35I just feel such compassion.
00:21:38I think about those things too.
00:21:40So you understand why I can't do this?
00:21:44Not really.
00:21:45I just find it too hard it is to give in to carnal pleasure when he sacrificed so much for us.
00:21:55So...
00:22:05We're gonna go out there, right? Andy, we're gonna totally throw these on.
00:22:08Jake.
00:22:09Hey, hi.
00:22:10Whoa!
00:22:12Have you seen Jake?
00:22:13Uh, no.
00:22:14No.
00:22:15Alright.
00:22:16Focus. Focus. Focus. Focus.
00:22:26Oh, there he is.
00:22:30Oh, he got me the puppy that I wanted.
00:22:33How could he?
00:22:50Sue?
00:22:51What happened?
00:22:52Did you guys do it?
00:22:53Sue?
00:22:54He doesn't want me.
00:22:56Because he's gay.
00:22:57Because he's gay.
00:22:58No, he's not.
00:22:59He just really loves Jesus.
00:23:01Oh, come on, Sue.
00:23:03The only reason you even liked him is because you knew he was never a real possibility for you.
00:23:08Look, the only way you're gonna find out what kind of man you really want is to know what kind of woman you really are, deep inside.
00:23:17What?
00:23:18Come with me.
00:23:19Where?
00:23:20To meet your dark side.
00:23:28Out!
00:23:29Everyone out!
00:23:39Sue, it's time for you and your vagina to meet face to face.
00:23:48I really can't.
00:23:55I really don't think I can do this.
00:23:59I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:04I'm not letting you out until you look.
00:24:09Sue?
00:24:11Can you see it?
00:24:13Sue.
00:24:14I'm almost...
00:24:18I'm almost there.
00:24:24What?
00:24:26What?
00:24:27Sue, what happened?
00:24:28What did you see?
00:24:30A raccoon?
00:24:31What?
00:24:33You overshot it.
00:24:34Aim the mirror further up.
00:24:35I can't.
00:24:43Please don't make me do that again.
00:24:44Okay, fine.
00:24:46Fine.
00:24:47I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice.
00:24:50What?
00:24:52You really need an orgasm.
00:24:54Honestly, I don't know how you expected to ever have sex with someone else when you've never even had it with yourself.
00:24:58This really has to be your first step.
00:25:01Lex.
00:25:02I'm waiting.
00:25:03Coming.
00:25:04Sue, my black vibrator is somewhere in the top drawer.
00:25:06Just find it and use it.
00:25:08Wait, what does the black vibrator look like?
00:25:11It's black.
00:25:12It vibrates.
00:25:15Come on, Rod.
00:25:16Let's go to Sue's room.
00:25:18And don't come back until you have at least one orgasm.
00:25:21Hey, cutie! Cutie!
00:25:39Boozeye!
00:25:44Bang! Bang!
00:25:47Bang!
00:25:49Straighten up.
00:25:51Good boy.
00:25:52Good boy.
00:25:54He knows over a hundred commands.
00:25:57I'm sorry I can't see anything.
00:25:59That is not funny, Cheryl.
00:26:01What a bitch.
00:26:03Fortunately, when you're blind, you get used to things like that.
00:26:05Oh, shit.
00:26:06Oh, shit.
00:26:07Oh, shit.
00:26:08Oh, shit.
00:26:09What's wrong with this?
00:26:10Oh, shit.
00:26:11What's wrong with this?
00:26:12What's wrong with this?
00:26:13Oh, shit.
00:26:14What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:15Nice shot.
00:26:16Oh, shit.
00:26:17What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:18Oh, shit.
00:26:19Oh, shit.
00:26:20What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:24Oh, shit.
00:26:25Oh, shit.
00:26:26What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:30Oh, shit.
00:26:35What's wrong with this thing?
00:26:41Nice shot.
00:26:44Direct hit.
00:26:57Cheryl, what is wrong?
00:26:59Lexi, it's Jake.
00:27:02He was getting a blowjob by some pink-haired girl.
00:27:05For sure?
00:27:06I mean, I know I've been putting off having sex with him, so maybe it's my fault.
00:27:10That's no excuse. He's a dirtbag. How dare he?
00:27:14No, it's awful. I mean, I thought I was going to marry him.
00:27:23It's a text. It's from him. I can't bear myself to read it.
00:27:26Okay. He's looking for you. He wants to give you your birthday gift.
00:27:32Oh, I can't face him. I have to go. I'm going.
00:27:35No, you can't just leave.
00:27:37Well, I can't stay and just pretend like nothing happened. I mean, maybe I should confront him.
00:27:42No. He'll either deny it or admit and promise never to do it again.
00:27:45Either way, it's bullshit. I see only one option.
00:27:48I'm leaving.
00:27:50I'm leaving.
00:27:51Revenge sex.
00:27:52Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:27:54It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:01Revenge sex.
00:28:02Re- I mean, what? What does that even mean?
00:28:04What does that even mean?
00:28:05It means you find a guy, you screw his brains out, and you let Jake catch you.
00:28:09But he- I mean, he doesn't even care. He doesn't even care about me. I mean, why would- he's just into other girls.
00:28:15Trust me, he'll care. Seriously, this is the worst thing you can do to him. To his ego. To screw someone else when you've never even had sex with him. Especially if it's with someone smarter, better looking, and with a bigger dick.
00:28:28No, I- I couldn't. Plus, I mean, there's- there's no one smarter and better looking.
00:28:35Eric! He's perfect!
00:28:37Eric Hall? Are you kidding? I mean, he wouldn't even be into me. He likes your type.
00:28:43Really? And what type is that?
00:28:45Sweaty.
00:28:46Yeah. Trust me, he's amazing. I fooled around with him once. He has this great tongue, right?
00:28:52Oh, no. I could never fool around with somebody you fooled around with.
00:28:56Okay, then. Fine. We will find someone else. Someone that I haven't fooled around with.
00:29:05Okay, what does it matter that I fooled around with him? I mean, I think you're not going to marry the guy.
00:29:10No, I just couldn't do it.
00:29:12Fine. If you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you had one chance to do the right thing,
00:29:17to make your boyfriend feel like a total worthless piece of garbage and possibly even scar him with the rest of his existence,
00:29:23and you chose not to do it, go ahead. But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:30I don't know.
00:29:32But honestly, I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself.
00:29:37I don't know. Trust me. It's going to work.
00:29:46I will intercept Jake and get him upstairs.
00:29:50Hi, Cheryl.
00:29:51Are you okay enough to chat with us?
00:29:53Oh, no.
00:30:05Hey. Happy birthday.
00:30:09Thanks.
00:30:21Have you guys seen Jake?
00:30:36So, happy birthday.
00:30:40Do you know that most people think that the happy birthday song was from Britain?
00:30:46But it's actually from us.
00:30:47U.S.
00:30:49America?
00:30:51United States?
00:30:53I know where we live.
00:30:54Right.
00:30:55Of course.
00:30:59I know where we live.
00:31:01Right.
00:31:02Of course.
00:31:03Hey, Jesus, Eric. Are you going to make your move or not?
00:31:09Oh, you want me to move?
00:31:10Yeah, no, I can totally move. I just...
00:31:12No.
00:31:13You're fine.
00:31:25Jake!
00:31:28So, Eric, do you want to do it or not?
00:31:30Oh.
00:31:32I'm sorry.
00:31:33It?
00:31:34What, um...
00:31:35It.
00:31:36Like monkey boning and, like, pigs in a blanket.
00:31:40Get real nasty.
00:31:42Oh!
00:31:43Oh!
00:31:44You mean, like, uh, right now?
00:31:47I mean, well, yeah.
00:31:49You know, the sooner the better.
00:31:52Yeah, sure.
00:31:53I mean, well, yeah, of course.
00:31:54Um, I just never realized that you...
00:31:57I mean...
00:32:00Whew!
00:32:01Uh...
00:32:02It's just...
00:32:05You're so...
00:32:07You're so beautiful.
00:32:08Okay.
00:32:09Um...
00:32:10Hmm?
00:32:11Uh, no cuisine.
00:32:13Right.
00:32:14Um, of course.
00:32:15Sorry.
00:32:19So, um...
00:32:21Do you want to unwrap me?
00:32:23Oh, wow.
00:32:24Uh, you're wrapped up like a Hot Pocket or a leftover macaroni and cheese.
00:32:28Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:31Uh, you're fresh.
00:32:35Now that you're left over, you're not.
00:32:37Uh, you're fresh.
00:32:39Organic.
00:32:41Yep.
00:32:43So, the wrap.
00:32:45Right.
00:32:47Um...
00:32:48Where's the, uh...
00:32:49It's, uh, the end that I just, like, right over here.
00:32:51Oh, oh, yeah, here it is.
00:32:52Yeah.
00:32:53I see it.
00:32:54Um, let me just, uh...
00:32:56Uh...
00:32:57Ow!
00:32:58Ow!
00:32:59Ow!
00:33:00Sorry!
00:33:01Sorry!
00:33:02I, um...
00:33:03It's...
00:33:04It's okay.
00:33:05Here.
00:33:06Do it again.
00:33:07Sorry, I, uh...
00:33:08I bite my nails, so it's a little difficult.
00:33:09You know what?
00:33:10Let me just lay on the bed.
00:33:11Okay.
00:33:16Uh...
00:33:17Let me just...
00:33:18See.
00:33:19Oh, here it is.
00:33:20I got it.
00:33:21All right.
00:33:22Just, um, fill it.
00:33:23Let me just...
00:33:24Ah!
00:33:25Oh!
00:33:27Oh, geez.
00:33:28Uh, Cheryl, are you...
00:33:29You okay?
00:33:30Help!
00:33:31Uh...
00:33:34Hey, Cheryl, are you okay?
00:33:36Oh, geez.
00:33:38Uh...
00:33:39Uh...
00:33:40Uh...
00:33:41Uh...
00:33:42Uh...
00:33:43Uh...
00:33:44Well, that was stupid.
00:33:45Uh...
00:33:46Uh...
00:33:47Uh...
00:33:48Yeah.
00:33:49Uh...
00:33:50Uh...
00:33:51Uh...
00:33:52Uh...
00:33:53How you doing tonight?
00:33:54I'm good.
00:33:55You having a good time?
00:33:56Yeah?
00:33:57You good?
00:33:58Jake!
00:33:59I think I saw Cheryl upstairs.
00:34:00What?
00:34:01I can't hear you!
00:34:03I didn't have a beer.
00:34:05The chips are so damn salty.
00:34:06Jake!
00:34:07So are you with me?
00:34:08Up...
00:34:09Stairs.
00:34:10Yeah.
00:34:11Hold on.
00:34:12Take a piss.
00:34:13Too much beer.
00:34:14Uh...
00:34:15Uh...
00:34:16Uh...
00:34:17Uh...
00:34:18Uh...
00:34:20Uh...
00:34:21Uh...
00:34:22Uh...
00:34:23Uh...
00:34:24Uh...
00:34:25Uh...
00:34:26Uh...
00:34:27Uh...
00:34:28Uh...
00:34:29Uh...
00:34:30Uh...
00:34:31Uh...
00:34:32Uh...
00:34:33Uh...
00:34:34Uh...
00:34:35Uh...
00:34:36Uh...
00:34:37Uh...
00:34:38Uh...
00:34:39Uh...
00:34:40Uh...
00:34:41Uh...
00:34:42Uh...
00:34:43Uh...
00:34:44Uh...
00:34:45Let's get the blinds.
00:34:46Oh!
00:34:47No, no, no, no, no.
00:34:48Um...
00:34:49Don't...
00:34:50Don't worry about it.
00:34:51What?
00:34:52I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:34:54Yeah.
00:34:55Oh!
00:34:56Well, okay.
00:34:57Well, OK.
00:34:58OK.
00:35:12Finally.
00:35:13I, uh, let me just get the blinds.
00:35:16Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:35:19Don't worry about it.
00:35:20What?
00:35:21I mean, I want us to be able to see each other.
00:35:26Oh.
00:35:28Well, OK.
00:35:29OK.
00:35:56What are you doing?
00:35:58Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:01What are you doing?
00:36:15Uh, I think it's time, you know, to do it.
00:36:23Um, not yet.
00:36:24More foreplay.
00:36:25Huh?
00:36:26Oh.
00:36:31It's so good.
00:36:35Oh.
00:36:37Yep.
00:36:38Oh, my God.
00:36:40Jaw, jaw, jaw.
00:36:41What?
00:36:42What?
00:36:42Ah, ah, oh.
00:36:44Ah, dear.
00:36:46Lock jaw, lock jaw.
00:36:47Is that even a thing?
00:36:49I don't know.
00:36:51Ah.
00:36:53Are you OK?
00:36:56No, no, no, no, it's, uh, it's fine.
00:36:59I'm just, uh, I'm embarrassed.
00:37:01I, it's probably TNJ or fracture, swollen.
00:37:08You sure you're OK?
00:37:10Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
00:37:11OK, great.
00:37:12Have fun.
00:37:12Oh.
00:37:18Now.
00:37:19Now, let's do it now.
00:37:20No, not yet, not yet.
00:37:24All right, I'm going to come.
00:37:25I'm going to come.
00:37:26Are you ready?
00:37:26No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:37:29No, no, no, no, not yet.
00:37:30Lexi, Lexi, oh, shh.
00:37:32Oh.
00:37:36No, no, no, no, no, not yet.
00:37:37Lexi, Lexi, oh, shh.
00:37:39Oh.
00:37:41No means no.
00:37:43Huh?
00:37:43Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:37:44I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's been a really long time,
00:37:46and I just, I haven't been masturbating for anything.
00:37:50Oh, hey, Jake.
00:37:58How are you doing?
00:38:00How's it going?
00:38:01Good.
00:38:02Eric?
00:38:03Eric, help me.
00:38:05I'm glad I can't see anything.
00:38:07Excuse me.
00:38:12Cheryl's in here.
00:38:17What's up, bro?
00:38:19What the?
00:38:20What the fuck is...
00:38:20Hey, wait!
00:38:24Lex, babe, still waiting.
00:38:32Oh, I'm sorry.
00:38:33I can't see.
00:38:34I'm blind.
00:38:36Damn it.
00:38:38I'm going to save somebody to that bitch.
00:38:40Hey, you.
00:38:42You better stop making fun of the blind
00:38:44or I'm going to teach you a lesson.
00:38:47Ow!
00:38:47I'm so sorry.
00:38:50I'll never make fun of the blind again.
00:38:52Ah!
00:38:53Oh, man.
00:38:59Oh, man.
00:38:59No more water balloons.
00:39:18This party's ass.
00:39:22Yeah!
00:39:23Yeah!
00:39:27This just isn't working.
00:39:30Nothing.
00:39:31It's the big deal about these vibrators anyway.
00:39:32Ahem.
00:39:33Ahem.
00:39:35I'll be careful, man.
00:39:36My life stinks.
00:39:38Spark it up.
00:39:39All right.
00:39:40Yes!
00:39:43Oh, man.
00:39:44I love this game.
00:39:46We're in the controllers.
00:39:46We got to play.
00:39:47Here, here, here.
00:39:48Okay.
00:39:48Let me find another one.
00:39:49All right.
00:39:49Watch out.
00:39:52Woo!
00:39:54Whoa!
00:39:54Look at this.
00:39:57Fuel, fuel, fuel.
00:39:59Get that thing away.
00:40:00Jesus!
00:40:08Hey dude, nice shot!
00:40:10Wasn't me?
00:40:16Whoa! Nice!
00:40:18Are you sitting in there or something?
00:40:22Hey, you found the grenade launcher! Nice!
00:40:24Nice!
00:40:30Nice!
00:40:36Do you have the extra controller?
00:40:48Whoa!
00:40:50You are the controller!
00:40:52No, I just...
00:40:54I didn't, I swear, I...
00:41:00Hey, Sue!
00:41:08What are you going, man?
00:41:12It's okay, um...
00:41:14Hey, Sue!
00:41:16Did you hear me calling you?
00:41:18Yeah, I just needed to...
00:41:20Um...
00:41:22Oh, sure.
00:41:24Listen, Sue, I...
00:41:26I was rethinking what I said earlier.
00:41:28You were?
00:41:30You mean...
00:41:32Yeah.
00:41:33Yeah.
00:41:34So you think we should give it a try?
00:41:36Could we go get a drink?
00:41:38Wow!
00:41:39Um...
00:41:40Your...
00:41:41Toilet's really...
00:41:42Oh, you...
00:41:43Do you know what?
00:41:44I gotta go!
00:41:45Um...
00:41:46Happy birthday!
00:41:47Uh, no!
00:41:48No, there wasn't!
00:41:49I didn't...
00:41:50Oh, God, never mind!
00:41:51This was the worst idea ever...
00:42:18Never going to have sex!
00:42:20Hello? A little attention here.
00:42:43Oh, yeah. Sorry.
00:42:44Lex, don't be selfish.
00:42:51Oh, right. Sorry.
00:43:05Jeez. Who invented this stupid position anyway?
00:43:10Too much fucking multitasking. Screw it.
00:43:14Oh, my God.
00:43:24Oh, my God.
00:43:29Oh, my God.
00:43:35Oh, my God.
00:43:45Oh, my God.
00:43:48Oh, no. That was bad. That was so bad.
00:44:09Joanna, do you know a guy named JJ?
00:44:15I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:18Hey, does your name start with a J?
00:44:23Yes, it does.
00:44:25So, you're JJ?
00:44:27Uh-oh.
00:44:29I think that guy's name starts with a J.
00:44:34No.
00:44:50Hello. Welcome to 1-900-CONFESS.
00:44:53Would you like a priest or a nun today?
00:44:55A nun.
00:44:56Please punch in your credit card number.
00:45:03Please hold.
00:45:04Oh, thank goodness.
00:45:081-900-CONFESSION. How may I be of service?
00:45:11It's been one day since my last confession. I accuse myself of the following sins.
00:45:16One day?
00:45:20Ow!
00:45:24Is that too long?
00:45:25I would have come this morning, but it's my 18th birthday.
00:45:28Go on.
00:45:30Um, okay. Well, I've been touching myself inappropriately. Well, actually, I didn't know a washing machine did.
00:45:36What's her problem?
00:45:38A washing machine touched her.
00:45:41Well, you know, I sat on a washing machine and, well...
00:45:44All right, freak. Time's up.
00:45:46What? But what do I do?
00:45:47Just unplug the thing.
00:45:49No, but I think I might have had an orgasm.
00:45:53Well, then be happy. You found the perfect man.
00:45:56I'm serious!
00:45:57Look, honey. You seem like a nice young lady, so...
00:46:01I'll tell you this.
00:46:03Masturbation isn't a sin.
00:46:06No contritions?
00:46:08You broke no covenant with God. It's not in the Bible.
00:46:11So, the washing machine could touch me anytime? Like morning, afternoon, night?
00:46:18Yes, and other things can touch you.
00:46:21Accidental masturbation is not a sin.
00:46:23Neither is intentional masturbation.
00:46:26Huh. God's pretty cool that way.
00:46:29He sure is. Now run along.
00:46:34Wow. How do you know all that?
00:46:38Because I'm a nun.
00:46:39Now eat my pussy, bitch.
00:46:42Huh. Accidental masturbation. Who'da think?
00:46:54Revenge sex. What a stupid fucking idea.
00:46:57God, I'm getting out of here.
00:47:01Yeah, admit it. I got no game.
00:47:03I guess I just get laid, I guess.
00:47:06I'm a beautiful man. Thank you.
00:47:10Fucking douchebag.
00:47:12Damn it.
00:47:14Now I have to get laid if it's the last thing I do.
00:47:17You go, girl.
00:47:19What?
00:47:21What are you doing here?
00:47:23We needed someplace private.
00:47:25But hey, listen, if you're serious about getting laid...
00:47:27Yeah.
00:47:28Do you want someone great?
00:47:30I mean, really, the best ever.
00:47:34No offense.
00:47:36Frank, the blind guy?
00:47:38Really?
00:47:40I'm telling you, he's amazing.
00:47:43I had food sex with him a few weeks ago.
00:47:45It was like nothing I've ever experienced before.
00:47:48It was like we used all our senses.
00:47:51Everything.
00:47:53If you're interested, I'll set it up.
00:47:56All right.
00:48:02What about him?
00:48:04Jeremy.
00:48:06Oh, yeah, I know Jeremy.
00:48:08Hey, I think I fooled around with him once.
00:48:11I didn't know his last name, though.
00:48:13It's Jones.
00:48:15Jeremy Jones.
00:48:17This all makes sense.
00:48:19Excuse me.
00:48:20Jeremy.
00:48:22Hi.
00:48:24Who's on the phone?
00:48:25Oh, that's my new girlfriend.
00:48:27You'll meet her.
00:48:28I'll have to be here in like an hour.
00:48:29Wait, you have a girlfriend?
00:48:44Oh.
00:48:45Hey, Frank.
00:48:47Sit.
00:48:51Oh, you meant...
00:48:53You meant the dog.
00:48:55Relax.
00:48:57You need to relax and calm down.
00:49:09Oh, I'm... I'm relaxed. I'm fine.
00:49:11Why are you biting your nail?
00:49:12I'm not.
00:49:13I'm not.
00:49:17How did you know that?
00:49:21Corner.
00:49:25Sit.
00:49:27Roll over.
00:49:31Oh, you mean me.
00:49:34Roll over.
00:49:35Oh, you mean me.
00:49:36Oh, how do you...
00:49:37How do you want me to...
00:49:39Just lay down.
00:49:40Oh.
00:49:41Oh.
00:49:42Oh.
00:49:43Oh.
00:49:44I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
00:49:45considering it a teachable moment.
00:49:46Okay.
00:49:51Oh.
00:49:53Oh...
00:49:54Oh.
00:49:55Oh.
00:49:56Oh.
00:49:57I shouldn't even be doing this, but...
00:49:58considering it a teachable moment.
00:50:00Okay.
00:50:02Oh.
00:50:04Oh.
00:50:07See me with your hands.
00:50:12Alright. Uh...
00:50:20You know, I should really... I have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing this. Really.
00:50:33Mmm, peanut butter.
00:50:52Frank, Frank. Oh.
00:50:57Oh, Frank.
00:51:03Like me.
00:51:08Oh, man.
00:51:10Oh, give me a chair.
00:51:11My chips, old boy.
00:51:14Oh, give me a chair, man.
00:51:16My chips.
00:51:18Oh, my chips.
00:51:20Give me a chair.
00:51:22My chips?
00:51:24Oh, it's not shit.
00:51:27My chips.
00:51:28My chips?
00:51:29Give me a chair, a chocolate.
00:51:31My chips?
00:51:33Guys, why are you making such a mess?
00:51:36Sorry.
00:51:44It's just a case of accidental masturbation.
00:51:47That's all.
00:51:52Come on, let me do this.
00:51:53Go ahead.
00:51:54I got it.
00:51:54I got it.
00:51:55No, really, please.
00:51:55I want to help.
00:51:59Okay, everybody out.
00:52:01Leave.
00:52:02I have to vacuum.
00:52:16You're not even getting the chips.
00:52:17They're over here.
00:52:19I see some dust over here, so...
00:52:24It's just so much dust on this floor.
00:52:28It's a dirty floor.
00:52:30It's such a dirty, dirty floor.
00:52:35It's...
00:52:35Okay.
00:52:40I love you.
00:52:42I love you.
00:52:43I love you.
00:52:44I love you.
00:52:45I love you.
00:52:46I love you.
00:52:46I love you.
00:52:47I love you.
00:52:47I love you.
00:52:48I love you.
00:52:48I love you.
00:52:52Okay.
00:52:53Oh, yeah.
00:52:54Oh, all right.
00:52:55Oh, I think I got all that.
00:52:58I'm just gonna...
00:52:59I'll see how...
00:53:00Oh.
00:53:00I'm sorry, man.
00:53:26We're just looking for a place to finish this road.
00:53:28Oh, I heard something.
00:53:29You want to join us?
00:53:31No, I'm not sure.
00:53:32Come on, you've got to do it.
00:53:34Seriously, guys, I need to go back.
00:53:35Where's your dog, man?
00:53:36What's it like being blinded?
00:53:37It's tripping.
00:53:42Frank?
00:53:44Frank, are we going to do something soon?
00:53:48Bro, you are too funny.
00:53:52Thanks, man.
00:53:53Oh, this is some good stuff.
00:53:55I haven't smoked since junior high.
00:53:56Dude, I haven't stopped smoking since junior high.
00:53:58Wait, wait, wait.
00:54:00I feel like I was supposed to be doing something.
00:54:04Damn, I really can't remember.
00:54:05This is some good shit.
00:54:07Oh, no.
00:54:08You're the devil.
00:54:09No more.
00:54:10JJ, I'm Jeremy.
00:54:11You have to remember that amazing time we had together, don't you?
00:54:25Please.
00:54:26Lex, I can't.
00:54:27I mean, I got a girlfriend.
00:54:28I really like this girl.
00:54:29Fine.
00:54:30It's just so sad because I'm wearing this coupless bra.
00:54:31And I also have on crotchless panties with just a little string of pearl in front for extra
00:54:45stimulation.
00:54:46Oh.
00:54:47Oh.
00:54:48We've got like 30 minutes before she gets here.
00:54:50Perfect.
00:54:51Before she gets here.
00:54:52Perfect.
00:54:53Before she gets here.
00:54:54Perfect.
00:54:55Can't do it.
00:54:56Do it.
00:54:57Come on.
00:54:58Let's do it.
00:54:59Let's do it.
00:55:00Let's do it.
00:55:02Let's do it.
00:55:03Let's do it.
00:55:10Alright.
00:55:16We've got just a little string of pearl in front for extra stimulation.
00:55:20What? What's wrong?
00:55:33I can't. I can't get it in.
00:55:36Try down there. It's like a desert down there.
00:55:39It's sandpaper.
00:55:41Okay, I get the picture.
00:55:43Just try it again.
00:55:46No. Why is this happening?
00:55:49We fooled around before.
00:55:51I was dripping wet. I came like four times, remember?
00:55:54Just do what you did then. Go on.
00:55:56I already did my thing. I already tried.
00:55:59What? What is different this time?
00:56:03I don't know.
00:56:04Last time...
00:56:07I honestly don't even know what you're talking about.
00:56:10What?
00:56:12You're not JJ?
00:56:14But your name is Jeremy Jones.
00:56:16How can you not be JJ?
00:56:18Who the hell is this, JJ?
00:56:21Where are you going?
00:56:23We're not done here.
00:56:24I can still do this.
00:56:25I just need a little bit of work.
00:56:26I can do this.
00:56:28I don't need JJ.
00:56:29I don't need anyone else.
00:56:30We can do this.
00:56:33Go team.
00:56:37What?
00:56:38Just keep going.
00:56:39Jeremy?
00:56:43Are you...
00:56:44Shit!
00:56:54Where's Jeremy?
00:56:55Oh, we were just...
00:56:58You know...
00:56:58Hey, babe.
00:57:01Just working out.
00:57:02How could you, you bastard!
00:57:11You might want to...
00:57:12What?
00:57:14What?
00:57:15What?
00:57:19Mariela!
00:57:21Mariela!
00:57:21You know, those aren't mine!
00:57:24At least not all of them.
00:57:25What is wrong with you?
00:57:31What is wrong with you?
00:57:34You used to be so pure.
00:57:37Well, no more.
00:57:37That's it.
00:57:39Really, that's the last one.
00:57:40Come on.
00:57:51Come on!
00:57:51Come on!
00:57:52Mm-hmm.
00:58:10Cheryl?
00:58:14What is it?
00:58:16What are you doing down here?
00:58:18Waiting for everyone to leave so I can sneak out
00:58:20and get far, far away from here?
00:58:22What?
00:58:23Why?
00:58:24Nothing, just this blind guy and his dog and ugh.
00:58:28Honey, it's gonna be okay.
00:58:31No, it's not okay.
00:58:33God, and you know whose fault it is?
00:58:36I'm sorry.
00:58:37It's Jake's, Jake's fault.
00:58:39That blind cheating bastard.
00:58:42Yes, he is such a dickwad, you need to confront him.
00:58:46Yeah, yeah, I need to confront him.
00:58:48I mean, it's my birthday, and where is he anyway?
00:58:51Like, why isn't he hanging out with me?
00:58:53You know, you just call him here
00:58:54and give him a big piece of your mind.
00:58:56Yeah, a big piece, a big old chunk of my mind,
00:59:00a big piece of it.
00:59:01Yeah.
00:59:02You know, you might wanna...
00:59:04You need to look hot while you break up with him.
00:59:07Yeah, you're right.
00:59:09Why am I wearing a sheet?
00:59:10I don't know.
00:59:16I'm sorry.
00:59:18I'm so...
00:59:19I get shy around beautiful women like you.
00:59:24I got no game.
00:59:32It's not important.
00:59:40Hey, um...
00:59:41Eric, I can't talk right now.
00:59:46No, no, no, I really need to talk to you.
00:59:48Really, Eric, I can't right now, so...
00:59:50No, no, no, no, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier,
00:59:54and I'm just embarrassed, and I wanna make it up to you.
00:59:57Eric, really?
00:59:58I don't care, it's fine.
00:59:59No, but I do.
01:00:00I mean, I do.
01:00:01I care.
01:00:02I haven't known how to tell you, maybe because, uh,
01:00:04I don't know, I'm a little shy.
01:00:06But I was wondering, or hoping, that we could go out sometime.
01:00:11Soon.
01:00:12Because I'm gonna be leaving for a little while,
01:00:14and it would be nice to go out with like...
01:00:16Really?
01:00:17Eric, you're shy.
01:00:18You have no game.
01:00:20No, not really.
01:00:22Yeah, no, I can't do this.
01:00:24I don't care.
01:00:25I don't care.
01:00:26It's fine.
01:00:27No, but I do.
01:00:28I mean, I do.
01:00:29I care.
01:00:30I'm sorry.
01:00:34Okay.
01:00:35Alright.
01:00:36I, uh...
01:00:39Happy birthday, then.
01:00:51Oh, I'm sorry.
01:00:52I was trying to kiss you.
01:01:01Wow.
01:01:02Yeah.
01:01:13Here I come, baby.
01:01:15Get ready for your big birthday surprise.
01:01:17Oh, Eric, stop.
01:01:18Um, we can't do this.
01:01:19Sorry.
01:01:20Oh, god damn it.
01:01:21Not again.
01:01:22Oh, no, um...
01:01:23Honey, happy...
01:01:24What the fuck is this?
01:01:25Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:26Okay, guys, don't.
01:01:27Cheryl.
01:01:28Cheryl.
01:01:29Baby, what is this?
01:01:30What the fuck is this?
01:01:31Who the hell are you, dude?
01:01:32Okay, guys.
01:01:33Don't.
01:01:34Cheryl.
01:01:35Baby.
01:01:36What is this?
01:01:37Aw, gee, Cheryl.
01:01:38You're...
01:01:39I've been looking for you all night, and you've been...
01:01:40Oh, man, no wonder I couldn't find you.
01:01:41You couldn't find me?
01:01:42What about all those girls' vaginas you were in, or your penis getting sucked?
01:01:43Cheryl, honey.
01:01:44No, no.
01:01:45We can work this out.
01:01:46Baby, I love you.
01:01:47Jake, no.
01:01:48You have to go.
01:01:49Baby, I'll be faithful from now on, please.
01:01:50I promise.
01:01:51No, Jake.
01:01:52I can't do this.
01:01:53I'm sorry.
01:01:54Cheryl, come on.
01:01:55No.
01:01:56Jake, please.
01:01:57Just go.
01:01:58Just go.
01:01:59I'm sorry.
01:02:00No, Jake, please.
01:02:01Just go.
01:02:02I'm sorry.
01:02:03No, Jake.
01:02:04I can't do this.
01:02:05I'm sorry.
01:02:06Cheryl, come on.
01:02:07No.
01:02:08Jake, please.
01:02:09Just go.
01:02:10I'm sorry.
01:02:11You're a harmless bitch.
01:02:12How can you do...
01:02:13Yay!
01:02:14You did it.
01:02:15I am so proud of you.
01:02:17You got your revenge sex.
01:02:18You've left him in your shell of a man.
01:02:20Revenge sex?
01:02:23It's really not what it sounds like at all.
01:02:26Right.
01:02:27It all makes sense now.
01:02:30Wow.
01:02:31I feel really stupid.
01:02:33Eric, I'm really...
01:02:34I'm really sorry.
01:02:36Cheryl, I really liked you.
01:02:39And he used me.
01:02:41Eric, please don't go.
01:02:43Please, Eric!
01:02:44Aren't you happy?
01:02:47Well, no.
01:02:49That's not exactly what I was supposed to feel like.
01:02:51You mean the sex?
01:02:52Was it...
01:02:53Yeah?
01:02:54No, he didn't quite do it.
01:02:56Oh.
01:02:57You know, I couldn't seem to do it either.
01:02:58Really?
01:02:59I just never found the right guy.
01:03:01Or guys.
01:03:02Anyway, we better get downstairs.
01:03:04People are starting to leave.
01:03:05I wonder how Sue did.
01:03:07Can't believe she dumped me, man.
01:03:08This is bullshit.
01:03:09God!
01:03:10Oh!
01:03:11Oh!
01:03:12Dude, suck it!
01:03:13What the?
01:03:14God, I'm out of here!
01:03:15Yeah!
01:03:16He has good hair, though.
01:03:17Don't you puke on me.
01:03:18Don't puke on me.
01:03:19Don't puke on my car, either.
01:03:23Write a prank that I might need a vacation.
01:03:24Take this information through your head.
01:03:26Oh!
01:03:27Oh!
01:03:28Oh!
01:03:29Oh!
01:03:30Oh!
01:03:31Dude, suck it!
01:03:32What the?
01:03:33Oh!
01:03:34Oh!
01:03:35Oh!
01:03:36Oh!
01:03:37Oh!
01:03:38Oh!
01:03:39Oh!
01:03:40Oh!
01:03:41Oh!
01:03:42Oh!
01:03:43Oh!
01:03:44Oh!
01:03:45Oh!
01:03:46Oh!
01:03:47Oh!
01:03:48Oh!
01:03:49Oh!
01:03:50Oh!
01:03:51Oh!
01:03:52Oh!
01:03:53Sue, are you all right?
01:03:56Was it from sex?
01:03:57Did you pop your cork?
01:03:58I don't think so.
01:04:00Not with the guy, anyway.
01:04:02Oh, don't ask.
01:04:03Every possible object.
01:04:05It's like every mechanical thing.
01:04:07It was like transformers.
01:04:09They just all became vibrators.
01:04:11I told you.
01:04:13It's addicting.
01:04:16So what about Chris?
01:04:17Well, last time I saw him, he was running away for dear life.
01:04:19I told you he was gay.
01:04:20Oh.
01:04:22Well, I think I'm just all cramp.
01:04:27Oh, I think it's broken.
01:04:28So wait.
01:04:30None of us cashed an RV card.
01:04:37Oh, Joanna, you're so sweet.
01:04:39So I was going to go grab some food.
01:04:41You want to go?
01:04:42No, thank you.
01:04:44I think I should finish up here.
01:04:46Did you ever find that guy you were looking for?
01:04:48No.
01:04:50I don't know.
01:04:51I just realized he needs to be my first.
01:04:55Or something.
01:04:56Why, do you know him?
01:04:58Sort of.
01:04:59Oh.
01:05:00Well, hey, if you happen to run into him,
01:05:02tell him I'd like to see him again.
01:05:04Love him.
01:05:05Shut it.
01:05:06You want to do it.
01:05:06I don't want to hear it from you.
01:05:07I want to get married.
01:05:08You want to do it.
01:05:09All right.
01:05:09I've heard, I've heard.
01:05:10Shut it you want to do it I don't want to hear it from you. I'm gonna get married. I want to do it
01:05:40Um, no. No way.
01:05:58Oh well, there's always next year.
01:06:10It's you. I've been waiting for you, J.J.
01:06:30I don't know who.
01:06:40It's you.
01:06:51you
01:07:53Oh.
01:07:55Yeah.
01:07:57I have to go see him.
01:08:00Well, I think you know what we should do.
01:08:05You can do it.
01:08:06Mmm.
01:08:07Mmm.
01:08:08Mmm.
01:08:09Mmm.
01:08:10Mmm.
01:08:11Mmm.
01:08:12Mmm.
01:08:13Mmm.
01:08:14Mmm.
01:08:15Mmm.
01:08:161-900 confess.
01:08:18Sister Terese?
01:08:20Yeah, hon.
01:08:21Um, there was a problem with your credit card.
01:08:24I just need the last three numbers in the back.
01:08:26Oh, sure.
01:08:27Oh.
01:08:28Oh.
01:08:29It's 271.
01:08:30Um, sister, I know this isn't a confession, but can I ask your opinion on something?
01:08:35Do you think if you do something bad that God will forgive you?
01:08:39Like, take you back?
01:08:41Sure, hon.
01:08:42Why not?
01:08:43Why not?
01:08:44As long as you're on the right path.
01:08:46Well, how do you know if you're on that path?
01:08:49I always look for some kind of sign from the universe.
01:08:53Something to let me know that it's all gonna be okay.
01:08:56Sister?
01:08:57Can I get up now?
01:08:58I really gotta pee.
01:08:59No!
01:09:00Hush your trap!
01:09:01Okay, honey.
01:09:02I really need to get back to work, but call back any time.
01:09:05I will.
01:09:06Thanks.
01:09:07Sister?
01:09:08Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:11Music, thanks.
01:09:14Sister?
01:09:15Shut up or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:18Music, thanks.
01:09:19Music, thanks.
01:09:20Sister?
01:09:21Or I'll punish you hard, you sheep fucker!
01:09:22Music, grung, grung.
01:09:33Eric, wait.
01:09:36Cheryl?
01:09:38Cheryl?
01:09:41Eric, um, look, I am so sorry about everything.
01:09:47I was trying to have revenge sex with you at the beginning,
01:09:50but then at the end, I wasn't.
01:09:52I just didn't want to do that with you.
01:09:55The revenge part, not the sex part.
01:09:58Um, I do want to go out with you.
01:10:03And I didn't realize that until this morning.
01:10:07I mean, you're a completely different guy than Jake is,
01:10:09and he's all over these pink hair.
01:10:10Eric!
01:10:12Come on, I got to get going.
01:10:14Oh, wow.
01:10:16Um, Cheryl, this is my sister Tina.
01:10:19Tina, Cheryl.
01:10:21Hi, nice to meet you.
01:10:26Uh, so, um, do you mind if I call you in a few days
01:10:31when I get back?
01:10:32Yeah, sure.
01:10:37Oh, sorry, no kissing, right?
01:10:42No, kissing.
01:10:43Oh.
01:10:44Mm.
01:10:45Mm.
01:10:46Mm.
01:10:47Hey.
01:10:47Hey, did you ever, uh, get those flowers I sent you?
01:11:02I don't even care that you hooked up a plexi.
01:11:07Wait, what?
01:11:08I never did that.
01:11:11I mean, you don't have to lie about it.
01:11:12She told me all about your pierced tongue.
01:11:19She must have me mixed up with someone else.
01:11:22I wonder who it was.
01:11:23At least this birthday's over.
01:11:43Is that day, Silver?
01:11:55Dear Lord, please forgive me.
01:11:58I mean, if you could just...
01:12:00I don't know, like send me a sign?
01:12:13Excuse me, excuse me.
01:12:34Do you know where the church is?
01:12:36It's on Fountain Street.
01:12:38Yeah, that's the church I go to.
01:12:41Or used to go to.
01:12:43It's straight up that way and then left.
01:12:47You're more than welcome to come with me if you like.
01:12:50Oh, I don't know.
01:12:59Well, that's pretty powerful.
01:13:02Oh, 250 horsepower, 225 pounds of torque.
01:13:07Like I said, you're more than welcome to hop on.
01:13:10I don't think so.
01:13:12But thanks.
01:13:14What's your name?
01:13:15Sue.
01:13:16What's yours?
01:13:17Jesus.
01:13:19Really?
01:13:20Si.
01:13:23Maybe I could use the ride.
01:13:25Ah, I have all.
01:13:40Hi.
01:13:42Hi.
01:13:44Hi.
01:13:45Hi.
01:13:46Hi, hi.
01:13:47Hi.
01:13:48Hi.
01:13:52Hi, hi.
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