- 5 months ago
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00sorry I forgot my keys oh thanks thank you hello faulty towers yes yes no this
00:13afternoon that'd be fine no it's 16 Elwood Avenue 16 that's it thank you
00:21I'll put these outside don't you my dear Polly this is where we'll be if you need
00:26us there's the number so if mr. Stubbs wants to know anything when he comes
00:29just ring but don't if you don't have to love it's the first weekend we've had
00:32off since Audrey had a hysterectomy don't worry I know what they've got to do oh
00:37somebody called about a garden gnome oh yes well it's in and they're going to
00:40deliver it this afternoon oh good um golf shoes good morning major very well
00:47thank you now does everyone know about dinner tonight I think so but you'll be
00:53able to manage breakfast tomorrow will you I was just the ladies in the major
00:56where are those shoes one moment please I will get your bill get your bill I will
01:04hit your bill get get get get good good that's it I will get your bill
01:11I will get your bill see what are you talking about this in office today we have beef bill or
01:26or something his bankers look shut up yeah shut up oh she she shut up yes I
01:33understand what will you please shut up to see I shut up now while we're away
01:36shut up shut up while we're away gone clean the windows oh look cuando nos otro
01:44somos away what's away in Spanish huh you know away away
01:48what's easy no no no we're away clean the windows green no no clean the windows clean clean the windows
01:59oh Mr. Forty hi good morning ladies
02:13Ursula and I think you're a very naughty boy don't be Ursula oh god oh really going away for the weekend and leaving us all alone
02:21ah yes ah but we know where you're going the cats out of the bag you and your wife
02:27well it's only painting I will have a lovely time it'll do you good you need to get away from things yes well we're going together
02:36and don't you worry about us oh all right now you know the mayor are coming to do some work here oh yes so you have to go to Glen Eagles for your din din's tonight yes and Polly will be in charge if you need anything
02:48oh well have a lovely weekend and don't do anything we wouldn't do oh just a little breathing surely
02:55ah well I must buzz off now a buzz yes you know how it is now have babbity mumble oh buzz buzz buzz buzz
03:03Polly I have asked you please not to leave your strange drawings lying around the place I mean I'm sorry what is this supposed to be
03:09oh it's just a sketch what is it what are you trying to do this is a junkyard isn't it oh can I have it why has it got a collar and tie under it
03:15well it's not finished it's very good you know old soup tins broken down card dustbins mattresses
03:20hoovers and a nice smart collar and tie under it I mean what's it supposed to be it's not important can I have it back
03:25it's irritating I mean do you ever sell any of those I sell a few portraits now and again thank you
03:30oh haven't much hope for this one would you give me that stapler please I don't know what is the point of something like that
03:35no point no point what's the point in being alive beats me you're stuck with it I suppose would you be the stapler
03:41you don't go on at me the stapler sorry I mean what's the matter with you today
03:48didn't get much sleep last minute we are leaving you in charge
03:51I didn't do it to spite you I promise oh good but you won't be all so tired then will you
03:55Baldy Towers Basil who is it it's Mr. O'Reilly Basil
04:01that's odd must be about the garden wall hello O'Reilly
04:04now look when are you coming to finish our garden wall we are sick and tired of having that pile of bricks blocking the list
04:09and I told you not to call you know my wife thinks Stubbs is doing the doors
04:12well what time will they be here then
04:14all right four o'clock now listen if there's any problems tell your men to get Polly to call me you understand
04:19so next week's a definite then is it oh good well that'll be nice won't it I mean we waited for that wall about as long as Hadrian
04:26no no Hadrian the Emperor Hadrian
04:30it doesn't matter I'll explain next week thank you so much goodbye
04:33you don't really believe all that do you Basil we've been waiting four months why should you do it now
04:37oh I think you will this time dear
04:39if you'd used Stubbs
04:40we'd have a huge bill
04:41look you get what you pay for O'Reilly's a cut-priced cock-up artist
04:44oh Sybil
04:45with Stubbs you may pay a little more
04:47a little more
04:48a little more
04:49yes a little but he does a really professional job and he does it when he says he will
04:52you'll see
04:54when is he coming
04:55oh about four o'clock I think dear
04:57and you're going to wear that jacket are you
05:00yes I am thank you dear yes
05:01you just haven't a clue have you
05:03you wouldn't understand dear it's called style
05:06yeah
05:08they're here Basil
05:10how fabulous
05:11do try to be agreeable this weekend Basil
05:14now have I got everything
05:16handbag
05:17knuckle dusters
05:18flick knife
05:19come on Basil
05:20don't hang a bag
05:21I'm just coming dear
05:23quick Polly
05:26now Polly the men will be here at four o'clock you know what they're doing
05:28well they're putting the door through to the kitchen
05:30at the bottom of the stairs and
05:31and?
05:32and blocking the drawing room door
05:33blocking it?
05:34just blocking it off girls
05:35so we can have privacy away from the plebs
05:36don't you take anything in
05:37where's my cap
05:38oh and one other thing when the men come
05:40they won't be Stubbs's they'll be O'Reilly's
05:42where is he?
05:43what? O'Reilly?
05:44yes yes
05:45what does Mrs Forty know?
05:46I don't know probably
05:47I wouldn't mention it though
05:48they don't quite hit it off together
05:49look I have to change it
05:50Stubbs has got a virus or something
05:51she said you were never using him again
05:52I don't want to be a response
05:53look he's turning his best man
05:54all you have to do is take a quick look when they finish
05:56alright any problems call me
05:57right have a nice weekend
05:58goodbye
05:59if she asks me I'll tell her
06:01oh thank you thank you Polly so much
06:02yes I've always been a great admirer of Paul
06:04I forget
06:08I forget
06:09oh it doesn't matter Manuel
06:11De Norte
06:12oh
06:13sir
06:19oh he's Mr Fawlty
06:21shhh
06:22windows por favor
06:24shhh
06:31oh he's finished I'm tired
06:33oh that's wonderful Manuel
06:34just hold it a second
06:35ok
06:36I want to go upstairs in a moment
06:43ok
06:44I go upstairs
06:47ah si
06:48easy easy
06:49for a little sleep
06:50it's difficult
06:51for siesta
06:52siesta?
06:53a little sleep?
06:54yes
06:55oh same in Spanish
06:56when alrighty's men come
06:57you must wake me
06:58when alrighty's men
06:59oh si
07:00no Manuel listen
07:01when men come here
07:02when men come here
07:03senor O'Reilly
07:04ah when men come
07:05you come upstairs
07:06and wake me up
07:08eh
07:09despiertemi
07:10ah si
07:11when men come
07:12I'll go to your apartment
07:13to wake you up
07:14before you think
07:15I'll be here
07:16see?
07:17I understand
07:18finished
07:19oh good
07:20ah
07:21ah
07:22ah
07:23ah
07:24ah
07:25ah
07:26ah
07:27ah
07:28ah
07:29ah
07:30ah
07:31ah
07:32Manuel Towers
07:33how are you?
07:34it's nice
07:35good day
07:36good
07:37goodbye
07:38ah
07:39ah
07:40good day
07:41hello
07:42how are you?
07:43number 16
07:44ah
07:45ah
07:46number 16
07:47ah
07:48si 16
07:49but no eat
07:50what?
07:5116 is free
07:52but not possible
07:53ah
07:54is this number 16?
07:55no no
07:56this lobby
07:5716 upstairs on right
07:58who's in charge here?
08:00no no
08:01charge later
08:02after sleep
08:03where's the boss?
08:04ah
08:05boss is
08:06oh
08:07I boss
08:08no no no
08:09where's the real boss?
08:11okay
08:12the generalissimo
08:16Madrid
08:19look
08:20just sign this will you?
08:21si si si si
08:22er
08:2316
08:24what?
08:25you want room 16?
08:26no I don't want a roommate
08:28I'm just leaving him
08:29right?
08:30you want room 16 for him?
08:33yeah
08:34with a bath
08:35you deg old twit
08:36you mad
08:37you mad
08:38you pay for room first
08:39get crazy
08:40for room 16
08:41no room 16 no no
08:42eh?
08:43no room 16
08:44ah
08:45ah
08:46ah
08:47eh
08:48eh
08:49eh
08:50ehm
08:51faulty towers
08:52how are you?
08:53nice day?
08:54eh no
08:55no no he not here
08:56he not here
08:57very very sorry
08:58eh goodbye
08:59ah
09:00ah
09:01hello men
09:02you are men
09:03good day now
09:04you are men
09:05you are men
09:06you are?
09:07you are men
09:08are you trying to be funny?
09:09huh?
09:10I said are you trying to be funny?
09:11not here but not here
09:12you are men with orally
09:13what?
09:14you orally men
09:15what does that mean?
09:16you orally
09:17you watch it
09:18we're orally
09:19he's and above
09:20he means O'Reilly
09:21what?
09:22oh
09:23yes that's right
09:24yes
09:25we are early men
09:27he he he he he he
09:28he he he he he he he
09:29think is a plank
09:30wait here please
09:31I go you wait
09:32Eh, ehm, ehm, ehm, you wait too, please.
09:46Polly? Polly?
09:48Polly?
09:49Polly?
10:03Polly, Polly Towers, how are you? It's a nice day.
10:06Oh, you again, no, I say he not here.
10:08He not here, very, very sorry, goodbye.
10:11Oh, wicked.
10:13Eh, you men know what to do?
10:15Oh, I think so, this is the, uh, dining room.
10:18room you are certain you know it looks pretty straightforward we just got to
10:21block this one off yes yes yes who's you okay now listen he not here how many
10:28times where are your ears you great big half-wit
10:31oh Mr. Fawlty I'm very sorry very sorry is you yes is me Mr. Fawlty
10:48eh Polly no no she's very busy eh men yes men are here men are work you work men
10:56yes which ah yes man with be please which one is man with beer eh
11:04he's he's he's he's egg oh I'm I'm she's comprando see one moment please and you
11:12are a hideous orang-outang
11:18that's not bad well thank you very much
11:21hmm
11:28oh
11:31me
11:33me
11:35me
11:36me
11:37me
11:41me
11:42me
11:44Come on!
11:58Come on!
12:02Come on!
12:14Polly!
12:18Manuel!
12:26Polly! What have you done with my hotel?
12:28Polly! What have you done with my hotel?
12:30What?
12:31Look!
12:32Oh, it's nice. I like it there.
12:34Stop!
12:35You're hurting me!
12:36What have you done with my dining room door? Where is it?
12:38I don't know!
12:39Why don't you know? I left you in charge!
12:40Well, I fell asleep.
12:41You fell asleep?
12:42Well, it's not my fault!
12:43You fell asleep and it's not your fault!
12:45He forgot to wake me!
12:46Who forgot to wake you?
12:47It is my fault!
12:48Manuel! I knew it!
12:49Manuel!
12:50Don't claim him!
12:51Why not?
12:52That's not really his fault!
12:53Well, whose fault is it then, you clothier-binged Dennis Comptons?
12:58Well, you hired O'Reilly, didn't you?
13:00I mean, we all warned you. Who else would do something like this?
13:02I beg your pardon?
13:04You hired O'Reilly!
13:06Oh, I see it's my fault, is it?
13:08Oh, of course!
13:09There I was thinking it was your fault because you've been left in charge.
13:12Or Manuel's fault for not wake you and all the time it was my fault!
13:16Oh, it's so obvious now!
13:18I've seen the light!
13:19Well, I must be punished then, mustn't I?
13:21You're a naughty boy!
13:23Don't do it!
13:24You're a naughty boy!
13:25Don't do it!
13:26Don't!
13:27She's gonna be back next time!
13:28I cannot wait!
13:29I'm a dead man!
13:30Do you realise?
13:31Easy!
13:32You're dead too, but all dead!
13:34Don't panic!
13:35What else is there to do?
13:42We won't call him a pilot!
13:44He's made his mask!
13:45He's coming!
13:46He's coming!
13:47He's coming!
13:48Oh, don't call him a pilot!
13:50Come on!
13:51Come on!
13:52Come on!
13:53Come on!
13:54Come on!
13:55Come on!
13:56Come on!
13:57Come on!
13:58Come on!
14:01Right, I'll call her Riley!
14:05What is this, Sammy?
14:06What is this doing?
14:07What is getting on here?
14:09Your wife ordered it.
14:10Call her Riley!
14:11That golf-eating puffer!
14:12What if she wants?
14:15Call her Riley!
14:16What?
14:17Shall I call him?
14:18No!
14:19No!
14:20I'll do it!
14:21I'll call him!
14:22You go and see if that roof's still on!
14:28What are you doing?
14:29Stay there!
14:30You can't do that now!
14:31Hold it!
14:32Go and see if they've started breakfast!
14:34Now!
14:38Ah, hello, Mr O'Reilly.
14:40How are you this morning?
14:42Oh, good, good.
14:43No rare diseases or anything.
14:45Oh, I do beg your pardon.
14:46Um, Basil Forty.
14:47You remember?
14:48The poor sod you do jobs for?
14:51Well, now, how are things your end?
14:54Oh, good.
14:56Good, good, good.
14:57Well, now,
14:58how would you like to hear about things my end?
15:01Oh, well, at your usual standard,
15:03I think I could say.
15:04A few holes in the floor,
15:05the odd door missing,
15:06but nothing you can't be sued for.
15:08Good morning!
15:11I beg your pardon?
15:12Good morning!
15:13One moment, please.
15:17Would you say good morning?
15:18Si.
15:19I see.
15:21Well, what are you going to do now?
15:22Okay?
15:23What.
15:24You.
15:25Do.
15:26Now.
15:27I shall breakfast.
15:28Ah, well.
15:29Let's see you then.
15:30Si.
15:31Where is door?
15:32Door is gone?
15:33Door is gone?
15:34Door, door was here!
15:35Where, um...
15:36Oh, good morning, Major.
15:37I'm so sorry.
15:38I'm afraid the dining room door seems to have disappeared.
15:39Door!
15:40Oh, yes.
15:41Oh, yes.
15:42So it has.
15:43It used to be that.
15:44Yes, well, I was silly enough to leave the hotel for a few minutes.
15:46Yes, well, these things happen, you know.
15:47Now I wonder where it's gone.
15:48Oh, well, don't worry.
15:49It's bound to turn up.
15:50Oh, oh.
15:51Has the newspapers arrived yet?
15:52Uh, not yet, no, Major.
15:53And, well, will you please show the Major how to get in the dining room via the kitchen?
15:54See, it's difficult.
15:55Oh, Major, will you please show Manuel how to get in the dining room via the kitchen?
15:59Oh, well, don't worry.
16:00It's bound to turn up.
16:01Oh, oh.
16:02Has the newspapers arrived yet?
16:04Uh, not yet, no, Major.
16:05And, well, will you please show the Major how to get in the dining room via the kitchen?
16:08See, it's difficult.
16:09Oh, Major, will you please show Manuel how to get in the dining room via the kitchen?
16:12Oh, yes.
16:13Yes, of course.
16:14Come here.
16:15Come on.
16:16Watch it.
16:17Now, look here, O'Reilly.
16:18I want my dining room door put back in.
16:20This other one taken away by one o'clock.
16:22Do you understand?
16:23No, no, no.
16:24I don't want to debate about it.
16:25If you're not over here in 20 minutes with my door,
16:27I should come over there and insert a large garden over in you.
16:29Good day.
16:33I'm sorry, Mr. Fawlty, but my men just won't work on a Sunday,
16:36and that's the way it is.
16:38There's nothing I can do about it.
16:39Well, how long is it going to take you?
16:40Well, I'm working as fast as I can.
16:42Well, I'd rather be fast enough.
16:43I mean, she is here in four hours.
16:45Tia.
16:46What?
16:47Brewed a cup of frango.
16:48Oh, lovely.
16:49He hasn't got time to drink that now.
16:50Biscuit?
16:51Oh, these look good.
16:52Give it to me.
16:53Now, will you get on with it?
16:54Look, look, look.
16:55This lot here, an hour and a half.
16:56Easy.
16:57Lick a paint.
16:58Lick a paint.
16:59Lick a paint one hour.
17:00What time is it now?
17:01Ten to nine.
17:02All right.
17:03Ten to nine and two and a half hours is plenty of time.
17:05Give us a business.
17:06No, no.
17:07You can have one when you've done the door.
17:08Polytechnical way.
17:09You can have that when you finish the door, too.
17:10The trouble with you, Mr. Fawlty, is that you're worried too much.
17:12You keep it up like this and you'll have a stroke before you're 50.
17:15Stone dead, you'll be.
17:17Suits me.
17:18That's a dreadful thing to say.
17:19Get a bit of a talk and a bit of peace.
17:21Don't be so morbid.
17:22The good lord made the world so that we could all enjoy ourselves.
17:25Look, my wife enjoys herself.
17:27I worry.
17:28Well, let me tell you, if the good lord meant us to worry, he would have given us things
17:32to worry about.
17:33He has.
17:34My wife.
17:35She will be back here in four hours and she can kill a man at ten paces with one blow
17:40off her tongue.
17:41Oh, and I suppose not to worry.
17:43Just remember, Mr. Fawlty, there's always someone worse off than yourself.
17:46Is there?
17:47Well, I'd like to meet him.
17:48I could do with her, love.
17:49You just have to worry for the both of us.
17:51I'm telling you, if the good lord...
17:52He's mentioned once more, I shall move you closer to him.
17:55Now, please.
17:56Mr. Fawlty, she's here.
17:58What?
17:59She's here.
18:00Oh, God.
18:01Can't be mad.
18:02I'll just get them.
18:03Quick!
18:04Hide!
18:05Hide!
18:06What?
18:07I'll try and get rid of a hide!
18:08Where?
18:09In there!
18:10In there!
18:11In there!
18:12I'll try and stall!
18:13Oh, God, help me!
18:14Hello, Sybil.
18:15Hello, Basil.
18:16Well, you finished your girls early.
18:17We haven't started yet, Basil.
18:18Where are you going, dear?
18:19Up these steps.
18:20Oh, dear, it's such a lovely day.
18:21Let's go for a walk.
18:22We haven't done that for years.
18:23Oh, dear.
18:24Oh, dear.
18:25Oh, dear.
18:26Oh, dear, it's such a lovely day.
18:27Let's go for a walk.
18:28We haven't done that for years.
18:30Oh, Sybil!
18:31I nearly forgot.
18:32You're not going to believe this.
18:33Let me show you.
18:34Here.
18:35Look at that.
18:37There's Stubbs for you.
18:40Cool.
18:41Mind you, I warned you, but still, a reputable builder like that.
18:44Stubbs?
18:45Cool.
18:46Wicked.
18:47Where's O'Reilly, Basil?
18:48Cribble.
18:49Hmm?
18:50Hmm?
18:51Where's O'Reilly?
18:52O'Reilly?
18:53Yes, O'Reilly.
18:54Sybil, you never cease to amaze.
18:56I mean, just because of this, you automatically assume it has to be O'Reilly, right?
19:00I mean, you just assume that I have been lying all along, right?
19:04I mean, why O'Reilly?
19:05Because his van's outside.
19:06Well, he's here now!
19:07Of course he's here now!
19:08He's going to clear up this mess that your Stubbs has made!
19:09That's why his van's outside!
19:10On a Sunday.
19:11I mean, that's what I call service.
19:12I agree.
19:13You do?
19:14Yes.
19:15But if Stubbs has made this mess, then I think they should come and clear it out.
19:17Yes, O'Reilly.
19:18There's no point in paying money to Mr O'Reilly when Mr Stubbs would have to do it for free.
19:19I'll call him now.
19:20Well, he won't be there on a Sunday, dear.
19:21Then I'll call him at home.
19:22Oh!
19:23Oh!
19:24Oh!
19:25Oh!
19:26Oh!
19:27Oh!
19:28Oh!
19:29Oh!
19:30Oh!
19:31Oh!
19:32Oh!
19:33Oh!
19:34Oh!
19:35Oh!
19:36Oh!
19:37Oh!
19:38Oh!
19:39Oh!
19:40Oh!
19:41Oh!
19:42Oh!
19:43Oh!
19:44Oh!
19:45Oh!
19:46Oh!
19:47Oh!
19:48Oh!
19:49Oh!
19:50I'm getting a bit of chipped from the Old Lake this morning!
19:51Ah!
19:52Not to worry.
19:53Anyway, I've called him at home and he's not there.
19:55When did you call him?
19:56Oh!
19:57First thing, before I called O'Reilly.
19:58Wasn't that rather early for a Sunday?
19:59Well, I called him just a few minutes ago just before you arrived.
20:01There's nobody there.
20:02Oh!
20:05Oh yes, hello.
20:06Fawlty Towers, yes.
20:08Who?
20:10Ah, yes, I think you'd better have a word with my wife.
20:13Erm, somebody for Mr Stubbs, dear.
20:16Hello.
20:17Well, it is a complete mess.
20:21Well, could you come straight round and put it right?
20:24Would you like to deal with this, Basil?
20:27So, you see, we couldn't possibly manage it for at least three weeks.
20:31But if you want it done straight away, I suggest you try someone like, uh...
20:35Oh, what's his name? It's, uh...
20:38O'Reilly?
20:39Bravo, Polly! Well done, girl. But listen, where are you speaking from?
20:43She's in here with me, Basil.
20:44Well, I should have told you...
20:48Is there somebody there trying to pretend that they're from Mr Stubbs' company?
20:51What sort of game do you think you're playing? I mean, dear, dear.
20:54Would you believe what some of these people will do, Sybil?
20:56I am going to make you regret this for the rest of your life, Basil.
21:00Well, fair enough, I suppose, but I think Stubbs is partly...
21:02Basil!
21:03Don't you dare, don't you dare give me any more of those pathetic lies!
21:08Oh, right.
21:09What are you taking for?
21:10Did you really think that I would believe that this shambles is the work of professional builders?
21:15I mean, people who do it for a living?
21:17No, no, not really, no.
21:18Why did I trust you, Basil? Why did I let you make the arrangements?
21:21I could have seen what was going to happen. Why did I do it?
21:24Well, we all make mistakes, dear.
21:26I'm sick to death of you. You never learn, do you? You never, ever learn!
21:30We have used O'Reilly three times in the last year, and each time it has been a fiasco.
21:36That haul out there is still not done!
21:38You got him in to change a washer in November, and we didn't have any running water for two weeks!
21:41Well, he's not really a clever idea!
21:43Well, then why did you hire him? Because he's cheap!
21:46Oh, I wouldn't call him cheap, Sybil!
21:48What would you call him, then?
21:49Well, cheap-ish, but I mean...
21:51Well, the reason he's cheap-ish is he's no bloody good!
21:54Oh, Sybil, are you doing so, too? I mean, he's not brilliant!
21:57Not brilliant? He belongs in a zoo!
21:58Oh, Sybil, you've never given anyone the benefit of the doubt!
22:01He's shoddy, he doesn't care, he's a liar, he's incompetent, he's lazy, he's nothing but a half-witted, thick Irish joke!
22:07Ah, hello, O'Reilly, how funny we were just talking about you, and then we got on to another Irish bill that we used to know.
22:12Oh, God, he was awful!
22:14Look, I was talking about you, Mr O'Reilly.
22:17Were you there? I thought you were talking...
22:18Come, come, Mrs Forty.
22:21I'm coming.
22:22Oh, dear me, what have I done now?
22:24That and that.
22:26Not to worry, I'm putting it right.
22:27Not to worry.
22:29You've heard of the genius of the lamp, Mrs Forty.
22:32Well, that's me.
22:33You think I'm joking, don't you?
22:36Oh, don't smile.
22:38Why are you smiling, Mr O'Reilly?
22:40Well, to be perfectly honest, Mrs Forty, I like a woman with spirit.
22:45Oh, do you? Is that what you like?
22:46I do, I do!
22:48Oh, good.
22:50Now, Sybil, that's enough.
22:51Come on, then, give us a smile.
22:54Oh, O'Reilly, I have seen more intelligent creatures than you lying on their backs at the bottom of ponds.
23:02I have seen better organised creatures than you running round farmyards with their heads cut off.
23:06Now, collect your things and get out.
23:08I never want to see you or any of your men in my hotel again.
23:14Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to speak to a professional builder.
23:18Hello, Mr Stubbs.
23:20It's Sybil Fawlty here.
23:21I'm sorry to disturb you on a Sunday morning.
23:23We have a slight problem with a couple of doors we'd like you to take care of.
23:26When do you think you could come round and take a look at them?
23:30Tomorrow morning at nine o'clock.
23:31That'll be fine.
23:32See you then.
23:33Thank you very much.
23:34Goodbye.
23:37Well, I think I shall go over to Audrey's now and I shan't be back till the morning.
23:41Oh, Basil.
23:42Yes, dear?
23:43What is that doing here?
23:44It's your garden, dear.
23:45Isn't it nice?
23:46Well, don't you think it would be better in the garden?
23:49Yes, dear.
23:49Good idea.
23:50Oh, no, no, no.
23:51Basil, put him back.
23:52On second thoughts, I think I'll leave him in charge.
23:54I'm sure he's cheap and he'll certainly be better at it than you are.
23:59Have a nice day, dear.
24:01Don't drive over any mines or anything.
24:04That's a midget.
24:06Where are you going, Ernie?
24:07Well, I...
24:08Would you please take your tools back and continue with the work?
24:10Well, I can't infure what Mrs Fawlty was saying.
24:13You're not going to take that seriously, are you?
24:15Well, I thought I might.
24:16You thought you were...
24:17What sort of a man are you, O'Reilly?
24:18Are you going to let her speak to us like that?
24:20Well, she did.
24:21No, she didn't.
24:21She thinks she did.
24:22But we'll show her.
24:23We're not just going to put that door back and take that one out.
24:25We're going to cleanse that one off and put that one through as well.
24:28We're going to do the best day's work you've ever done, O'Reilly.
24:37Manuel, any sign?
24:38Okay.
24:38No, no, no, no.
24:40Morning, Fawlty.
24:41Ah, morning, Major.
24:43Paper secure.
24:43Ah, good.
24:44Is there anything new, Major?
24:46Another car strike.
24:47Never mind, never mind.
24:49Morning, Major.
24:50Oh, good morning, er...
24:51Never mind.
24:52Oh, right.
24:54Ah, you found it.
24:56I knew you would.
24:58He lost it, you know.
25:00Mr Fawlty, she come now.
25:01She come now.
25:02Quick, quick.
25:02Er...
25:03Good morning, Major.
25:30Did you have a pleasant evening, Major?
25:33Oh, good.
25:33Ah, Mr Stubbs, my wife's just there.
25:36Good morning, Mrs Fawlty.
25:37Oh, Mr Stubbs, this is most awkward.
25:40I'm afraid I have to apologise.
25:44My husband has put me in rather an embarrassing situation once again.
25:48I was going to ask you to do some work here.
25:51Yes.
25:51Er, but I was away last night, and when I came back just now,
25:54well, it appears to have been done.
25:56Everything all right, dear?
25:57Oh, I see.
25:58I mean, it'll probably all fall down by lunchtime.
26:00Oh, do you think so, dear?
26:02Well, let's ask a real expert.
26:03Do you think it'll all fall down by lunch, Mr Stubbs?
26:05No, no.
26:05No, Mr Stubbs wouldn't agree with you on that one, dear.
26:08It's a very good job.
26:09Oh, did you hear that, dear?
26:10A very good job.
26:12Oh, none of us likes being wrong, dear.
26:13I certainly don't.
26:14And then we knock through this door here,
26:16and we closed this one off.
26:18What did you use?
26:19RSJ?
26:20An N0 4x2.
26:21Not bad, eh, dear?
26:22And not expensive.
26:24Oh, I mean, for the lintel.
26:25Did you use an RSJ?
26:27You know, an iron girder.
26:28Or did you use a concrete lintel?
26:30Er, no, a wooden one.
26:32But that's a supporting wall.
26:34What?
26:35Quite.
26:36Well, thanks very much for coming over this morning.
26:37Just a minute.
26:40You mean that isn't strong enough?
26:41That's a supporting wall, Mrs Fordy.
26:43You could give away at any moment.
26:44Any moment?
26:45Yeah, good help.
26:46The floor's above.
26:47Look, I'm keeping this door shut
26:48so I can get a screw jack to prop it up
26:50before the bloody lot comes in.
26:51I don't know, cowboys.
26:53Basil?
26:56Basil!
26:56Basil!
27:00I'm going to see Mr O'Reilly, dear.
27:03I think I might go to Canada.
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