- há 5 meses
While the family is a blended family by name, it is anything but blended. Reese screamed so much, she damaged her vocal cords.
Categoria
📚
AprendizadoTranscrição
00:00Well, I'm in Glen Ellen, Illinois, ready to help a big, blended family who desperately need my help.
00:06Why don't we all take a look?
00:08Hi, we're the Atkinsons. I'm John.
00:10And I'm Jen. From my previous marriage, I have two daughters, Amanda, who's 14.
00:15Mom, just shut up!
00:16And Abby, who's 13.
00:18I have a daughter from my previous marriage, Julia, who's 10.
00:21And together we have Reese and Maeve. Reese is four.
00:25And Maeve is two and a half.
00:26Mom, mom, mom, boy!
00:30It's extremely challenging having a blended family.
00:33There are a lot of different dynamics going on in our household at one time.
00:36Well, this is a big melting pot, right?
00:38I hate you!
00:40Reese is extremely stubborn and willful.
00:43All right, see you, Mommy.
00:44No, I want to help, Daddy!
00:45I want to help, Daddy!
00:47Reese has very bad separation anxiety from John in particular.
00:52She flips out.
00:54She screams so much.
00:56She's actually damaged her vocal cord.
01:00For six years, when I was a single parent, it was me, Abby, and Amanda.
01:06It was like the three musketeers.
01:09We were extremely close, but we're losing that connection.
01:13Why do you keep going on about it?
01:14All right, I'm going to go clean up.
01:16And I'm going to be quiet.
01:17Good.
01:17You guys can talk.
01:18Good.
01:18It bothers me a lot.
01:20I don't even think they want Mom around.
01:23Mom, you're pissing me off.
01:24You just leave.
01:25Um, Amanda is, um, a handful, to say the least.
01:30Mom, what's wrong with you?
01:31I step in and try to give her any kind of direction or guidance as her mother.
01:38If you do your homework now, you don't have to worry about it for the rest of the time.
01:42Why are you on my case?
01:43I don't want to do it!
01:45She becomes almost explosive.
01:47Everything I want, we can never get.
01:49Here's the ABCs of grocery shopping.
01:50No, I don't, I don't give a s***.
01:52Did she just say what I think she said?
01:54Don't touch me.
01:55I said don't touch me.
01:58That's a shame.
01:59That's a shame.
02:00Reese has started to kind of have the attitude towards me that Amanda has.
02:04Get out of my face.
02:05Stop being in the face.
02:07Oh, this has got to get better.
02:11No!
02:13Super Nanny, there are so many issues here that we need to address.
02:16Oh my gosh, shut up.
02:18We're up to our necks in this.
02:19What are you doing?
02:20To make this work, it's probably the most important thing right now.
02:25We need some help.
02:26Wow.
02:27I've certainly got my work cut out for me, haven't I, eh?
02:30So hold on, because I am on my way.
02:32I'll see you soon.
02:44Hello.
02:45Hello.
02:46Pleased to meet you, I'm Jo.
02:47Pleased to meet you, I'm Jen.
02:48Hi, a pleasure.
02:49Amanda, hi, John, Jo.
02:50Pleased to meet you.
02:51Nice to meet you.
02:51How are you?
02:52Amanda.
02:52Hi, Amanda, pleased to meet you.
02:53This is Reese.
02:54Hi, Reese.
02:55Pleased to meet you, I'm Jo.
02:56How are you doing?
02:56Good.
02:57Good.
02:58It's actually really nice to meet this big, blended family, and it's going to be interesting
03:02just watching how they all interact with one another and the relationships that they have
03:06with each other.
03:06There's another one here, right, in the family?
03:08There is, Julia.
03:09Julia.
03:10She's at her mom's house right now.
03:11Right, okay.
03:12But she'll be coming over later today.
03:13Fabulous.
03:14So I'll get a chance to meet her as well.
03:15Absolutely.
03:17Just before lunchtime, I got a really good feel of the relationship between mom and Amanda.
03:21Just with garlic salt, right?
03:26No.
03:27Huh?
03:27Sauce.
03:28Okay.
03:29It's real tricky with Amanda because she becomes very in-your-face, and usually it's directed
03:33at me.
03:34Do you think if Amanda was in a shop and she was asking for a sandwich to be made, she'd
03:38talk the same way?
03:39Well, there's not a lot of kindness shown to anybody when she's with me, but it's more
03:45me than anyone else.
03:46You didn't tell any parts of you of how annoying you are and how you constantly ask me questions,
03:53want to be in my life all the time.
03:55That's true.
03:55I do want to be in your life all the time.
03:57Admit how annoying you are.
03:59I don't think I'm being annoying.
04:01I think that you don't like to be parented.
04:04You're over the top.
04:05You don't want to be parented, though.
04:06You just need to leave me alone.
04:08That's what you need to do.
04:10It's a very common situation where moms struggle to communicate and get on well with their teenage
04:16daughters.
04:17I see your friends.
04:18You're going to judge my friends again now?
04:20No, I'm seeing your friends are respectful to their parents.
04:22Mom, will you just go away?
04:25I have your pasta here.
04:27Okay, give it to me and go away.
04:29I probably should have challenged her and said, where is this coming from?
04:32This is crazy.
04:33You know, you need to be more respectful.
04:34But I did what I always do, which is keep calm and peaceful.
04:38So I basically looked like a crazy person, like just kowtowing to Amanda.
04:45Reese!
04:45I'm making a sandwich.
04:46Don't stand in my spa.
04:47Reese, get off.
04:49Amanda, Amanda, there's other places.
04:51John, I always sit here.
04:53When Amanda does something that I don't agree with, Amanda will talk back and I try to let
04:58it go and avoid the situation.
05:00But it has become confrontational at times.
05:02Are you eating?
05:03No.
05:03It's just a very, very uncomfortable situation.
05:05Reese, you know you only sat there to annoy me.
05:08No, I didn't.
05:09You were doing something else.
05:12Was my plate there or was it not?
05:15Yeah, it was.
05:16She's four and you're 14.
05:17You don't need to fight over a chair.
05:19That's disgusting, Amanda.
05:21Put your stuff in the sink.
05:22That's disgusting.
05:24I tend to be the nice guy.
05:25I try to negotiate with everyone first and that's just my demeanor and, you know, it just
05:29hasn't worked up to this point.
05:30I have not felt comfortable disciplining Julia and John has not felt comfortable disciplining
05:35my girls.
05:36So it's kind of made everything a bit chaotic in our household.
05:41It was shortly after lunch that dad went to pick up Julia, who he has joint custody of
05:46from a previous marriage.
05:48I'll be back in a little while, okay?
05:49And as he went to leave, Reese panicked.
05:52I'll be right back.
05:53I'll be right back.
05:58I'll be right back.
05:59Daddy, I want to get them out.
06:05John's a strong man.
06:06He could have easily have taken Reese's arms away from his neck, but he chose not to.
06:11I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to get them out.
06:14I want to get them out.
06:15Daddy!
06:20Daddy!
06:21Daddy!
06:21Daddy!
06:21It's not going to be night time.
06:26It's not going to be night time.
06:27Daddy!
06:27John had just left, and Reese did something that I've never seen her do before.
06:32Get back here right now.
06:34She took off running down the driveway.
06:36Reese ran down the driveway because she was so upset that her dad had left.
06:42If your kid can get as far as going out of the driveway and turning around the corner,
06:47you've not dealt with the situation quick enough.
06:49Daddy!
06:50Daddy!
06:50She's going off.
07:02I'm not chasing you.
07:05It's crazy.
07:07Now we're going in.
07:09Go more outside for us.
07:10finally she went at least four times down that driveway and in the meantime there was the
07:20possibility of her being endangered by the passing cars little reese didn't calm down until dad came
07:31back with julia hi girls hi i'm joe nice to meet you how are you very well thank you i was watching
07:39julia play basketball when i heard arguing going on inside no you need to stay okay whatever to start
07:44drama with me just get away and when i got inside i saw mom in a terrible state over something amanda
07:52had just said what's going on what's what's she doing i told her put the chips away because i'm
07:59about to start making dinner yeah and she said she wishes i would die
08:04try to get close to her every single day but it turns into like ugliness every exchange that we
08:12have what do you think she's so mad about if i knew i would fix it immediately if i knew i would fix it
08:20immediately it's incredibly hurtful for a mother to hear her own daughter say what she did but to
08:28really understand that anger i need to know where it's coming from what can i do to help you girls
08:33pretty much i'm never happy in the house and i think i affect everybody's moods tell me i don't
08:40know how to change but the question is do you want to change yeah i want to actually sit down and like
08:49be able to talk to my mom without being annoyed has she ever taken the time to go right girls let's
08:56sit down and have a chat mm-hmm she has but we always like tell her to go away and like we're
09:00never i guess i don't know because we don't know how to change we don't know how to change what's been
09:05going on i want a relationship with my family amanda's very angry but underneath she's very hurt
09:14she's cut herself off from the rest of the family and it's got to a place where it needs fixing
09:20what i'm going to say to you is good night now it's been a very long interesting day
09:28there's certainly a lot of anger with regards to amanda's behavior jen is completely frustrated
09:35john needs to be more assertive and reese certainly needs her anxiety to be dealt with
09:41i'll see you tomorrow for the family meeting sounds good okay thank you have a good evening
09:45exactly how hard is she going to come down on john and i i have no idea thank you all right
09:53bye bye bye tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow's a big day
09:57it's the morning of our meeting with joe and i'm pretty much jumping out of my skin with
10:14nervousness anticipation anxiety let's talk about your blended family the two of you choose
10:23to raise your children separately the fact that you only discipline your child a certain way
10:30and your children from previous marriages doesn't show all the kids that there is this unity with
10:37regards to two parents coming together and being on the same page i agree i think it worked in the
10:44beginning um for maybe the first year or two but then as the kids started getting older especially the
10:49older ones i think things changed a little bit which brings me on to the next point which is
10:53really all about rules none of you really felt like you had permission to lay down rules for
10:59children that come from previous relationships we tried to put ground rules and and when we tried
11:04to enforce them they laughed i think it's probably because you tried yeah and you see you didn't
11:08follow through yeah so if you mean something you've got to follow through on it otherwise you'll never
11:12be taken seriously let's talk about separation anxiety there's this whole shenanigans around when you
11:19leave reese clings onto your neck and oh john you're so strong that you can't even take her hands
11:25off your neck it's like i think there's a little piece of you that kind of like this yeah and then
11:30you're at a loss i mean that you know she shouldn't be running down the driveway and down the street
11:35that could have been handled with a proper timeout right what i really would love to concentrate on here
11:42is your relationship with amanda and abby yeah you and amanda and abby went through transition
11:52things changed to a place where these girls didn't really know what to do or where their
11:57place was or how they fit in or what would happen there's so much that needs to be clarified
12:04with the three of you again that's a very emotional subject for me very emotional i think they feel it
12:15too we're going to work on mediating through situations that have affected all three of you
12:23to get you to a better place i'm glad i'm very very excited to work with you guys as a family because
12:32there is so much that does need to be done but so much that we can be very optimistic about
12:37all right so let's make it happen yeah let's do it let's do it thank you very much thank you
12:44the atkinson family have a lot of issues to work through i wanted no distractions where you see
12:50a black sheet it means not touchable okay can't touch can't use it's no go
12:56she went right to the television and i was like oh no that's your television and then she went to the
13:07computer oh my god oh god no oh no oh lordy finally i had one last touch to add the icing on the cake
13:17you've got three minutes to let people know that all cell phones will be taken away and they will be
13:26given back at 7 30 every evening why because i need all of your attention my word anybody would have
13:35thought that there was a hurricane coming like they grabbed their phones and they all darted off in
13:40different directions until the several minutes were up and in the phones went to the pot and it will be
13:47like that for the whole duration that i'm here i was really surprised when she did that and kind of angry
13:55amanda was not happy with what i did and if looks could kill i don't think i'd be here
14:01i thought it was ridiculous i was so mad i was infuriated
14:08with the technology put to the side it means we can really focus on what's important they're a big
14:14blended family and all these children need to feel that they're being treated equally and fairly we have
14:20clearly established one set of rules for kids that come from previous and another set it's not working
14:27what this is going to have on it are rules that apply for all of the kids so let's knock that out
14:36how about um either like be kind with your words or use appropriate language that's fine joe sat jen
14:42and i down at the table and had us write out house rules this is something that we've tried in the past
14:46there are things that we knew we wanted to hit on right away we did it fairly quickly be home on time
14:53yeah after mom and dad had finished with the board i had them explain it to the kids so rule number one
14:59is the use of appropriate language in the house okay so that means no swearing that that's not even
15:05just swearing that's just talking speaking kindly to each other i thought the house rules were a joke
15:11i'm not a baby my mom has tried that a million times and nothing ever pulls through uh the next one is
15:19be home on time so abby amanda when you guys have to be home at 10 o'clock uh it's 10 o'clock it's not
15:2510 30 10 45. i think 10 is good well i disagree well what tell me you talk to me about what time
15:32how about you tell me why 10 o'clock is appropriate to you yeah that's what i thought in the summer time
15:39it's gonna have to be later because 10 o'clock's like really early not for a 14 year old yeah 10 o'clock's
15:45for like seven year old no it's not all right i'm gonna compromise and i'm gonna say 10 30. it's
15:50freaking summer these teens were out of control they needed to be put in check and i didn't see mom
15:56and dad doing a good job so i told julia to take the younger kids away so that i could have a good
16:01fun talking to them there are people that are out there that do drugs and they'd like you to do that
16:07with them there are guys out there that trust me would like their way with you after a few cans of lager
16:15there are guys out there that would like to put you in the back of their car and not bring you
16:19back home here here is safe out there's not nobody's ever been that brutally honest with me
16:27i was like okay maybe i should understand why my mom's so scared
16:34when you're ready bring everybody back and let's carry on with the rest when these rules are broken
16:38your mom and i will talk about what the consequences are but the consequences for any one of these being
16:44broken is going to be the same across all groups i feel really good about the fact that i've got rules
16:49that i can fall back on there's no gray issues in our house anymore i like it
16:55i like it
16:58my next task for this family was to get them straight on separation anxiety because it's been
17:03wearing down the whole family don't hug her pacify her because you're giving her mixed messages you're
17:08validating that she has a reason and she feeds off that we coddled reese we fed into the drama and
17:14felt sad for her and guilty we were making it actually worse than it should have been then jen if
17:20she runs down the drive you'll give her a warning about not going past there and that if she then
17:26continues she will go into timeout reese needs to realize that every time her dad steps outside the
17:32house it's not an excuse to play up or be unsafe i'm going to go to the post office real quick
17:38daddy i'll be right back okay okay okay you gotta be all right back everything will be okay mommy's
17:45okay i'm going to take the car i'll be right back we have lots of nice things to play with reese
17:49come on reese i'll be right back okay i don't need a kiss and a hug it's not a big deal
17:55yeah it's gonna be right back it's not a big deal it's nothing stop there just keep her out of
18:00arms way bring her back over here oh love that's it off you go do not cross this line if you cross
18:11this line you are going in time out reese stood by the black line crying
18:16but then she looked over at mom and she crossed over take her hand put her straight into timeout
18:29i told you not to cross that line you are in timeout for four minutes
18:36set the timer but reese was not going into that timeout without a fight by any means
18:42come on mabel let's play straight up she's clinging to this chair with death grip i mean feet hands
18:57i put her right on that step it just went on forever she needs to realize that you're in charge
19:03just do what she's told and do that timeout i'm doing what you need to do but let's keep going
19:08hi reesey and when john came back as promised reese was still in timeout all right dad do you
19:16place her in timeout i think joe realized how exhausted i was getting and she had john jump in
19:23and give me a hand finally reese stayed put mommy told you not to cross that line and you crossed the
19:43line say sorry to mommy for not listening you know i was just so glad that it was over at that point
19:51i'm so tired and hot and exhausted what i'm hoping is that reese understands that dad does
19:57come back every time he leaves and that when she decides to misbehave oh yeah there'll be a timeout
20:02so we start to see a different reese what do you want to do with reese making progress and julia
20:09now at her mum's house it gave me a nice opportunity to work with mum and her teenage daughters all right
20:15jen and amanda come with me guys okay there's an enormous amount of strain in the relationship between
20:20jen and amanda a lot of stuff's not being said a lot of stuff needs to be said because it's been
20:25sitting far too deep for far too long so i decided to bring these girls to a park i do know that a lot
20:33of the anger and frustration is coming from a place where you really feel that you've not been heard
20:40and that's what we're going to work on today come either side of me
20:44in between them both was a bag full of balloons full of water get off your chest exactly what has
20:54been sitting here for years you're gonna pick what's out of this bag and you're gonna throw it
21:02got it yep all right let's go you're first amanda i thought that throwing water balloons and talking to
21:09my mom wasn't gonna get all my anger out that i had for my mom you never really pay that much
21:15attention to me around the girls and we never go anywhere that i want to go or do anything that
21:21i want to do because the girls have to be occupied and it sucks i'm really really tired of you swearing
21:30at me i feel like you never let me go places that i want to go because you're scared and you don't trust me
21:39i don't trust you because there have been times that you have not told me the truth and i can't trust
21:49you and i don't have a relationship with you and that is painful and every time you tell me that you
21:55wish i die it kills me i'm trying to communicate with you and you don't want to communicate with me
22:03i hate myself from you it's hard to be your mom me i don't want to do this anymore i thought to myself
22:09it's over it's not gonna work and at that stage i knew i had to talk her around to coming back
22:17to face what she needed to deal with i don't want to do this anymore you know why everything's always
22:22my fault come here if you want to be treated like you're not a baby then you can't do what babies do
22:29and walk you gotta step up as a young woman and take the heat if you quit you quit on everything
22:36you quit on yourself you said to me you want change right do not quit on yourself do not quit on your
22:44family do the right thing
22:48i stayed and i went back to my mom because i felt that it was important and joe's words stick into
22:59your head when amanda came back over that gave me a lot of hope that she's saying you know i'm willing
23:06to work through it with my mom like i want the relationship and that meant the world to me
23:11i love you more than anything in the world i want to get along please tell me where the anger's coming
23:19from where what did i do i don't know i don't follow me the pair of you we used to have a really strong
23:32relationship and then change happened and everything was different okay this is work it out
23:43this time it wasn't talking in anger it was trying to have a real conversation which amanda and i had
23:49not had for a very long time i think it's gotten past the point where i even know why i don't like
23:57you so much when we're together in family situations it's always reese and mae first i don't know let's
24:05just all go out to lunch just me abby and you you know it's never that it's always for reese and mae
24:10if you knew how much i would love to do that i would do that today tomorrow sounds good i love you amanda
24:27why did you really do that because i don't like to be touched but she didn't get up and hug you she
24:42just reached out for a hand and in order for you to receive what you are wanting you're going to need
24:50to just let down that wall just slowly there were great efforts between mum and amanda with repairing
25:07their relationship but a lot of emotions have been bruised when i come back there's going to be more
25:12work to do before i left for three days it was important for me to round all the family up to say
25:19goodbye there was john and his daughter julia and jen and abby and amanda from her previous marriage and
25:26little reese and mae from their marriage now this is the part where i go away for several days because
25:31you have to learn to be able to do this without me around without joe there we're gonna have to try
25:36this out all on our own i want to keep the positive stuff going with amanda and abby while she's gone
25:42i will see you soon keep it together as a family sounds good i'm nervous because i don't want things
25:50to get bad again the atkinson family are doing fair right now but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't
25:57slightly anxious about how things are gonna pan out when i'm gone for three days i know that joe is
26:01gonna call us out on the things that we haven't done right i think she's probably gonna see some
26:06things that might be pointed out still needing some work hello hi hi joe hello all right he's
26:12ready to take a look absolutely yeah all right we've got some time today to just hang out the three
26:19of us so i was thinking maybe we can go and get some coffee and just hang out and chit chat
26:27did you notice we passed by the martial arts place that you guys used to go to
26:30yeah do you remember that i used to put a bow in your hair every time that you went
26:36i can get the image out of my mind of abby sitting in that go-kart
26:39just waiting for somebody to come over like zooming by and everybody's zooming by you guys i think this
26:45was like an awesome day i love this day it was fun the day with you guys it was fun yeah i liked it a lot
26:51yeah we'll make more time tomorrow little by little that's cool three musketeers here we got
26:57enjoy i just can't tell you how much i love that time even that small period of time
27:03it's wonderful absolutely wonderful do you feel it from the girls as well oh it felt positive all
27:07around i mean it was like we were back six years ago the conversations we used to have everybody
27:12laughing and talking and giggling and the point is it doesn't matter what you do it's just spending
27:16time you know that's what's important it's very lovely to see i gotta take a ride you're gonna
27:24stay here i'm gonna be right back honey say bye bye see you later
27:29look at race what a good girl good girl oh my goodness
27:40i was just gonna sit down and have a talk with reese about how absolutely amazing
27:45she's she's being good job good job honey
27:49well done the pair of you yeah went really well why do you think it worked we knew that we didn't
27:55need to feed into the drama needed to just be very easy departure however occupied with something else
28:02it was great it was amazing absolutely fantastic when you think about how it was in the beginning
28:06yeah it was all right let's move on to these warnings i don't want you sitting on the counter
28:11i don't want you sitting on the counter i don't want you sitting on the counter go inside all right
28:15straight away what was wrong with that when you give a warning what do you do and you didn't do it there
28:19i'm standing way above her yeah and what else she's facing the other way and i'm talking to
28:23the back of her instead of i should be face to face with her and she should be looking at me
28:27correct yep
28:31i'm going to tell you something here's your warning here's your warning if you go up there again
28:36i told you no counter if you go up there again if you go up there again you're going to go in time
28:42out
28:50race it's too windy we're not going to open it close it reese no reesey close it
28:58if you open it again you're going in time out
29:02open it again and you're going in time out did you understand me
29:05yes
29:09busted that's not good that's not good that's not good you know what you're supposed to be doing
29:17you're making choices not to do what's right admittedly i know i'm not good at this so for me
29:23it's this is a new thing and i'm having a real hard time grasping it but you are labeling you are
29:28putting a label on yourself you're giving yourself an excuse discipline john kids and you've gone oh i'm
29:33no good at that and you've ticked it off you know instead of looking at it as okay this is something
29:37i need to learn and i will learn this because it's necessary and the children are going to benefit from
29:43this as well we're not out the woods yet there are a few things that i need to make sure you've got
29:48underneath your belt before i leave okay okay so uh let's knuckle down and just get on with some more
29:52work okay thank you sounds good thank you thank you i've learned through the dvd that dad thinks that
29:59he does a bad job when it comes to discipline so he doesn't bother at all i'm gonna need to change
30:04that so john is there a particular name that you give somebody who's learning to drive student driver
30:11right so what does normally a student driver need when they're learning time to practice so that's
30:17what we're going to give you okay we're going to give you time to practice with all of the kids
30:22i gave dad a little exercise to take his girls out for a walk so that he could step up and give
30:27these girls time out if they misbehave they also gave him a little t-shirt just to remind him that
30:32he is a beginner and it's okay but i tell you what if he doesn't shift at a neutral things won't change
30:37you guys ready to go for a walk okay as soon as we got out of the driveway maeve started to cry
30:46come on come on maeve you have to walk you have to walk you have to walk
30:51come on maeve you have to stop crying if you don't stop maeve look at me maeve if you don't
30:57stop crying you're going to be in time out when you get home come on
31:04maeve didn't calm down and so when we got home i was keen to see if that was going to follow through
31:08you didn't listen to daddy and you're going to stand here for two minutes okay
31:19sure enough dad followed through he did a really great job and i believe this man is now realizing
31:26yeah i can do it are you sorry next time daddy tells you to walk are you gonna walk
31:32give me help discipline is good and setting those boundaries is very important for structure in our
31:39house i'm gonna practice being more assertive not giving them two and three and four or five chances
31:44i'm definitely going to work on that in the future mom has made tremendous progress with her teenage
31:51daughters but there is a lot of pain hurt anger and unless we really get to the bottom of this
31:58it really won't get any better this book is going to take you on a journey i wanted to give these
32:05girls the opportunity to write down on paper what they were feeling inside i mean they've never been
32:12given the opportunity to be heard when we were together and it was just us three i felt like
32:19everything was at peace once she found john i felt that i turned invisible and was no longer there
32:25my mom now had john and she was happier i felt not as strong and something in my heart was different
32:34and that was never resolved
32:39i wrote that i was jealous and unsure because i didn't know what was going to happen next
32:46i felt unequal because maybe the little ones needed more attention than i did
32:50and i felt quiet and unheard because i missed the old times
33:05why didn't you ask us if it was okay if you married john i just took it for granted that you
33:12guys would be as happy as i was when i married him and i didn't necessarily feel like i need to ask your
33:18permission but i do think that i should have talked to us yeah i guess i should have done it better than i did
33:36sorry my mom has so many emotions that i never even paid attention to and i didn't care about
33:48after everybody's emotions had simmered down a little bit i wanted to draw back the focus on the
34:02future all right let's have a good old chat and talk about our next chapter where we go and what we're
34:06doing girls well i think we should have more conversations i want you to trust us more and
34:16know that we're not going to do wrong things yeah i'll try to do that this old chapter new chapter
34:24exercise with amanda and abby is something that i will never in my entire lifetime forget how about you
34:32try gymnastics like go to a park and try to like cartwheel around and stuff really she'll like
34:38break it i'll try it it's impossible to put into words what it did was it started to give me my
34:45daughter's back and that's the greatest gift ever i see people walking down the streets with their family
34:51and they have such great relationships and if i could just do that with my mom that would be awesome
34:56this is actually where things are going to change this family really have made a concerted effort to
35:06come together so i got julia back to do one last project i wanted to reassure them again that they are
35:12one big blended family making progress i really want you to design your own family crest i had each family
35:23member think of different things that represented their family and then draw them we're going to
35:29symbolize through your crest your family strength i'm doing that that's what it is yeah it was fun
35:35looking at my girls and seeing what they came up with a butterfly you know change a heart for love a peace
35:43sign our family hasn't had many peaceful days in the past you know five years okay how we doing i think
35:50we're good and once this family had all come together and decided on these family designs it was amanda
35:57who was designated to put it on the family shield yeah i like that you want to paint yeah okay yeah
36:05good job julia that looks cool we were all like talking and having a good time and i really like that
36:11so we'll do blue we got to all spend time together and maven reese had a good time too yeah and we
36:18laughed we'll wash it off later it was just a warm feeling at that moment that everyone was working
36:25together to accomplish a task and it was really neat to see this actually looks pretty cool you're doing
36:29a good job amanda i think it's real good our family is beginning to get really fun and i feel like
36:36everything's going to get better go ahead guys start glowing stars i really love it you guys pleased
36:43with it oh yeah i am very much yeah i just was able to look at them and see that everybody got something
36:50positive out of this experience and it was all put together in one big atkinson family crest which is
36:56beautiful good job everybody it looks really good yeah perfect place
37:04come here let me give you all our gonna kiss how do you say goodbye to somebody like joe our family
37:09is together it's not his kids her kids it's we're family period all right john take care
37:26they're not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it's not his kids it