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For the first time on the show, it's the family's nanny, Kadie, who called Supernanny for help!
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00:00I'm in Sacramento, California, and a fellow nanny has reached out to me because her family need my help.
00:07Strange, right? Let's take a look.
00:10Hi, my name's Katie. I'm 22 years old, and I am the nanny for the Swift family.
00:16Joshua, what's going on?
00:18Hey!
00:19Hey, come on!
00:20No, not come on!
00:22My name's Tony.
00:23And I'm Jenny.
00:24And we have five kids.
00:26Jack, who's 11, Joshua, who's 10, Sean, who's 7.
00:29Then we have Max, who's 4, and baby Mia, who's 9 months.
00:34Gloria's my mom.
00:35She is extremely involved with our family on a daily basis.
00:39Max?
00:40I gave Supernanny a call because I felt like it was really necessary for the children's safety.
00:45I'm worried about them getting hit by cars.
00:48I'm worried about them getting kidnapped.
00:51This little boy shouldn't be out in the street.
00:53I mean, where are his parents?
00:55It's definitely a concern of mine that the children are going to get hurt, especially a little nine-month-old.
01:03This is just too dangerous.
01:05Oh, what?
01:06Jeez.
01:07Oh, dear.
01:08You didn't tell me she was behind you.
01:09Oh, I didn't know.
01:10Nobody's aware of her crawling around on the floor.
01:14Hold on a minute.
01:14That's not safe at all.
01:20How did she get this in her mouth?
01:22She puts it in her mouth.
01:25Gloria is definitely more of a parent than Jenny and Tony.
01:28We're not going to play with the food.
01:31Really?
01:32You're going to have to put the baby somewhere, Jenny.
01:34No, she's fine.
01:35She takes care of the kids a lot.
01:38There's stuff all over the floor over there.
01:39No, she's fine.
01:41Just let her.
01:41No, don't put her in there.
01:42She needs to crawl around a little bit.
01:44No, this is what she had in her mouth.
01:46That's a band-aid.
01:47That's crazy.
01:49What are these parents thinking?
01:51I want all these cups picked up.
01:53Hey!
01:54Stop killing another country.
01:56We're at our wits' end.
01:57Okay, Max is getting in the pool.
01:59Max, no.
02:00We're exhausted.
02:01Get in the pool.
02:02Hey, don't do that.
02:03Super Nanny, I'm begging you to please help the Swift family.
02:07Lay down, now.
02:07Guys, you're falling apart at the seams, but I'm on my way.
02:19Hello.
02:19Hello.
02:20Hi.
02:20Nice to meet you.
02:21I'm Jenny.
02:22When Joe first came in the house, I have to admit that I was intimidated.
02:26Hi, Sean.
02:26Pleased to meet you.
02:27Pleased to meet you, too.
02:28Pleased to meet you.
02:29I'm Josh.
02:29Hi, Jack.
02:30Pleasure to meet you.
02:31Pleased to meet you, too.
02:31Hi, Tony.
02:33Who's the one hiding behind the blanket?
02:36Hello.
02:37And this is Mia.
02:39Hello.
02:40Just after I arrived, I got this whole conversation about how they're not really happy with their
02:45nanny.
02:46I mean, really?
02:47I call her more of a babysitter.
02:48I wouldn't call her as a substitution for a parent.
02:51You know what I'm saying?
02:52She's not always here on a regular basis.
02:54She comes, it's just like, okay, whatever.
02:56She more watches the kids when we're gone.
02:58The problems that she faces every day looking after these kids, do you not face them yourself?
03:02I do, but I feel like it's okay for me to face those problems, but it's not okay for
03:07her.
03:08So she should be equipped to deal with your children even though you're not?
03:11Right.
03:11Exactly.
03:12In a perfect world.
03:14I think this woman's extremely lazy.
03:16She's hired a nanny.
03:17She has grandma.
03:19And yet she's saying, I think my nanny should be able to take care of my kids completely even
03:23if I can't.
03:25Really.
03:25And as if on cue, Katie, the nanny, walked straight through the door.
03:32Jo, how are you?
03:33I'm good.
03:34How are you?
03:34And then almost immediately, dad left.
03:37No, no, it's raining.
03:38Stay in.
03:39Then mum left, and I was left with the nanny and the kids.
03:43Okay.
03:43You're good.
03:44When it was time for Katie to change Mia's diaper, Sean and Max saw the opportunity to
03:51misbehave.
03:51Oh, my gosh.
03:55What is going out there?
03:56And the roughhousing continued into mum and dad's bedroom.
04:03Uh-oh.
04:04Your diaper's all messed up in there.
04:12Finally, Katie realized where the boys were.
04:15Hey.
04:17Sean.
04:18Sean.
04:19That's it.
04:20No, we were just going like this.
04:22Hey, guys.
04:23I don't think that mum wants you to be playing in her room, so you need to go ask her.
04:28Katie's totally unsure of how she should be managing these boys, and I soon found out
04:33why.
04:33Would you say that you're both on the same page?
04:35No, I don't think so.
04:37Jenny and Tony have never sat me down and given me a game plan to disciplining their children.
04:43I've really gone on by observing them and trying to simulate what they would do.
04:48There aren't really clear rules, and it kind of changes between us, between parents, between
04:56if my mom's here, if I'm here.
04:59Well, that's a surefire recipe for disaster.
05:01Everybody needs to be in sync.
05:05Mum needed to pick some things up at the grocery store, and so I said to her, let's go with
05:09all the kids, just to get them all out together.
05:12Hey, excuse me.
05:14No.
05:14Max, come here, please.
05:17Sean, come here.
05:19I was panicking because I knew the kid's first inclination was going to be to run away.
05:25Sean, come here.
05:28And I was trying really hard to keep things under control, but I could feel things slipping
05:33away.
05:33We're going to go to the restroom, right?
05:35You have to go?
05:36Yeah, I have to go.
05:37Okay.
05:37I have to go by my hand.
05:39You can't go by yourself.
05:40I have to go with you.
05:41Come, Dad.
05:44Can you stand right by and watch her?
05:46Just don't take her out.
05:50Are you being serious?
05:51Well, I'm going to...
05:52Are you being serious?
05:53Yes, totally.
05:54That's...
05:55This is what I would do.
05:56That's no way.
05:58That's crazy.
05:59She was about to leave her seven-year-old in charge of the baby.
06:06I don't have enough hands.
06:07You think it's because you don't have enough hands?
06:09Yeah.
06:12You don't need more than one pair of hands to realise that you take your baby with you
06:18to keep them safe.
06:20And I don't think that's a priority for Mum at the moment.
06:23I was really happy when we got out of that grocery store.
06:26And to tell you the truth, I probably made it through half the things that I was planning
06:30on getting.
06:31No!
06:34After watching Mum in the supermarket, I'm concerned about her actions.
06:39So I pulled her aside to talk to her.
06:41Do you feel overwhelmed right now with all the kids?
06:45It feels overwhelming.
06:47Yeah.
06:47It feels like work 90% of the time.
06:51It's not fun.
06:52I'm not having fun.
06:53I don't think my mum has fun.
06:54I don't think my husband has fun.
06:56I think we're all just trying to get through the day the best that we can.
07:02And that's just not what I envisioned.
07:05You know, when I go to bed at night, I feel sad because I'm like, this isn't...
07:09I don't want them to grow up like this.
07:10I don't want them to grow up sad or thinking like, you know, I grew up and it was just...
07:15That's what I see.
07:15I see you.
07:16I see you hurt.
07:17Yeah.
07:18It's very obvious to me that this mum's not enjoying parenthood because she's not engaging
07:23with any of her children and having fun.
07:25And if she's going to change that, it's going to take effort.
07:29Later on in the day, one of mum and dad's key helpers, grandma, came round for dinner.
07:35Hi, nice to meet you.
07:35I'm Jo.
07:36I'm Gloria.
07:37Hi, Gloria.
07:38Pleasure to meet you.
07:39Do you want to put her in her chair?
07:40Yeah.
07:41Okay.
07:42I will do that.
07:43And Gloria went straight into minding those kids.
07:46Here, eat this.
07:49Max.
07:50Turn around and sit down.
07:51What?
07:51Sweet potato?
07:52Finally, somebody around here was taking control.
07:55Jo, come here.
07:56I need you to do something.
07:58I'll hold that.
07:59Go to Mia's bedroom and get me a...
08:01A...
08:01A...
08:02Those wipes.
08:03Fast.
08:04There are little things that go on that grandma sees and observes.
08:08And she's shaping and moulding their behaviour and etiquette every day.
08:12And yet it's going to the sidelines when it comes to Jen and Tony doing that.
08:16Look out.
08:18That pool, does it have a fence?
08:21No.
08:21I know.
08:22Does it have an alarm?
08:24Disconnected.
08:24What, the pool alarm is disconnected?
08:27Yeah.
08:28These kids are riding their bikes very close to the pool edge.
08:32No helmets on.
08:33And there's no pool alarm on.
08:36I mean, it's a dangerous situation.
08:38With the baby, we have to be very careful with this door.
08:42Because she's now crawling out.
08:45Mm-hmm.
08:45And she's gotten out, you know, some distance.
08:49So safety's an issue here.
08:51Big issue.
08:52Big, major issue.
08:54You know, there's only so much you can say.
08:58If you go too far, it's not okay.
09:00Why?
09:01What happens?
09:02With these two, it's, oh, it's okay.
09:06My judgment is, it's not okay.
09:09These kids need to be safe.
09:10And they need to be protected by their parents.
09:13You need to go get your jacket and come in because it's too cold out here.
09:18I've seen enough, quite frankly.
09:19It was time for me to leave.
09:20So what I'd like to do is call for a family meeting tomorrow so that we can sit down and
09:25really work out where we're going to go from here, okay?
09:27Perfect.
09:28I need to have a serious conversation with these parents tomorrow because what I've seen, I'm
09:33not happy with.
09:33I was very nervous about hearing what Joe would have to say.
09:46I started to realize, man, I'm, there's a lot of things here I'm doing wrong.
09:50It's not just one or two things.
09:52It's everything.
09:54There are four adults around your children, but you guys are not on the same page.
09:58It really sends a bad message to the kids.
10:01And that's why you're in this pickle now.
10:03For sure.
10:05So it's going to be really important that you guys talk about raising your family with
10:10grandma as she is a key co-carer in your lives.
10:15She has her own view and her own ways in which she feels that the kids should be raised.
10:19And instead of maturely communicating...
10:23I think we both get defensive.
10:25Yeah.
10:25I don't buy it.
10:26Oh, guess who's getting fed up of hearing Gloria put things right?
10:30You guys, but only because you won't step up yourselves.
10:34I think you're back immature, to be honest with you.
10:36It's a conversation.
10:38You say to yourself, well, how did we get here?
10:39Because you were lazy.
10:40Because it wasn't important enough.
10:42Because sitting down and working out what was right for your kids just wasn't important enough.
10:46Which leads me to talk about yourself and your connection with the kids.
10:53I think that if I had more free time here at the house, but I have to do the laundry or whatever.
11:00You've got help.
11:02You've got help coming out your ears.
11:04I think it's immature and lazy to allow your mum to take over.
11:11And then you're bringing the nanny in and you're saying, right, now you do that.
11:15You have to jump in to a kid's well.
11:17Otherwise you're not going to know them.
11:20Look, you put it into yourself.
11:22So you have date night, you go out, and you recognise the importance to feed that relationship.
11:26It's the same with the kids.
11:27Safety.
11:32Big issues.
11:33Doors being opened.
11:35Kids just drop things on floors.
11:37So why is it not necessary for you to follow through with your kids when it comes to them picking up after themselves,
11:42when actually those pieces could choke me out and kill her?
11:47No pool alarm being rigged.
11:49It's off right now.
11:51Mm-hmm.
11:51Do you need the broken leg?
11:54No.
11:54Do you need the drowning?
11:57No.
11:58That's just blurbing out hot air and saying, it's important.
12:02But your actions, well, there are no actions.
12:08So we've got a lot of work to do.
12:10We need to leave the egos and the laziness at the front door.
12:12You need 100% commitment.
12:14You guys are either in or you're out.
12:16We're ready.
12:17I'm excited.
12:18So I'll see you soon.
12:19Okay.
12:20I do need a roundtable summit with Gloria, Jen and Tony because no one's on the same page.
12:28So we're going to hash it out, have this conversation and start putting in a game plan.
12:32You are the parents.
12:34You have the fortune of having your mother-in-law or mother support you.
12:40So I think what would be very important at this first stage would be for you both to discuss
12:46what you feel needs to be resolved so that Gloria can hear that and support that.
12:52One thing that I see with my mom is I'll either undermine what she says or vice versa.
12:59I may have said, today you don't have to do whatever.
13:03And then they'll come home and they'll say, well, you said to me earlier I didn't have
13:07to do something.
13:08But now grandma just sat in the car and told me I did have to.
13:11That happens a lot.
13:12It's very frustrating as a parent to, you know, get undermined.
13:17You feel helpless.
13:19They have to be the ones that set the agenda.
13:23I facilitate it.
13:25Grandma was saying the same thing as Nanny Katie.
13:27There are no rules in the house and they need to come from the parents, not the grandma
13:31and not the nanny.
13:33Gloria takes the kids to swimming and she has for a long time.
13:37A big thing for me is I would like Gloria to respect the other sports that they do just
13:41as much as swimming.
13:42And that's a big thing that has upset me the last month and a half because they have
13:47been playing, one of them has been playing basketball.
13:49And I don't feel that she takes the basketball as much as a priority as the swimming.
13:54I took that as a complete affront.
13:57I was at every game except one.
13:59And I was there with all the parents.
14:01I don't know exactly what you're honing in on here.
14:06Well, I mean, I don't want to go over examples.
14:08Well, no, I don't.
14:09These parents have grandma come in and take care of the kids.
14:13And yet they complain that Gloria focuses on swimming and not enough on basketball.
14:20Like, really?
14:21It's really clear that there's a lot of resentment.
14:25There's a lot of anger.
14:27There's a lot of harbored feelings here between the three of you.
14:30It's really sad, actually.
14:32To really iron out these issues that the adults were having, it was important that they come
14:38together on the same page with regards to the kids.
14:42The first thing that we needed to do was to get mom and dad to establish and create some
14:46house rules so that all the adults in the house could stick with them.
14:50Fighting.
14:51Fighting.
14:51Fighting.
14:52How about ask when they leave?
14:55Yeah.
14:56After we'd established the rules, I brought in Nanny Katie so that mom and dad could start
15:01to delegate who was going to take care of what tasks with what child.
15:06In this circumstance, what you will do is divide the labor.
15:11And conquer.
15:12Correct.
15:12In the household, there's chaos going on at all times.
15:17But this board, it's a way of organizing the four of us so that we are all on the same
15:23page.
15:23Each circle represents one day of the week.
15:26And so I got mom busy filling in the first.
15:29Someone's got to feed the baby, right?
15:31Right.
15:32So I was going to have my mom do that.
15:33I was able to delegate the tasks to my mom and a little bit to Katie.
15:39And I realized immediately, this is going to be a great tool.
15:43Mom successfully distributed the work in the first circle and tomorrow she'll get busy
15:47on the second.
15:48So what I'm going to ask you to do is stick that up in what I call the TV room so then
15:51everyone can have a look at that.
15:53I think that having the board there and going to it every day and writing down what we expect,
15:58I think it's going to be a great thing.
16:03The next thing to do was really to get this house safe for Mia.
16:06So I took the family shopping to get some baby proof items.
16:10However, little Max wasn't in the mood to go shopping.
16:14Max, you hold on to the cart.
16:16He's not holding on to the cart.
16:18Max, you need to come and hold on to the cart.
16:22Max started in with his usual behavior.
16:25Max, where are you going?
16:27Where?
16:28Really?
16:29I'm going to hand that over to you, Mom.
16:32I'm going to give you a warning.
16:33Do not take your hand off the cart.
16:35Look at me when I'm talking to you.
16:37Do you understand?
16:38He wasn't listening.
16:39He wasn't following directions.
16:41He's gone again.
16:42Do I tell him he's going to have a timeout?
16:44Like I just warned him.
16:46Max, I need to talk to you.
16:48Because you let go of the cart after I told you not to, when we get home, you're going
16:52to have a timeout.
16:58Max, stop right now.
16:59You're not going to get a gumball today because you didn't listen to me.
17:02I don't want to get a gumball.
17:06Max kicked off.
17:07He was screaming at the top of his lungs.
17:09I don't want to get a gumball.
17:11And Mom and Dad would side themselves with embarrassment of how to deal with this situation.
17:16I want a gumball.
17:18If we would have given him the gumball, then that would let him know it's okay that he
17:21can let go of the cart and not follow directions.
17:24Come back to the cart.
17:25Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop for a minute.
17:27Right now, I want you to hold on to that cart and stop messing around.
17:30Right now.
17:32That's enough.
17:34Jen and Tony found what they were looking for, but they still need to follow through
17:37with discipline when they got home.
17:39When we arrived back at the house, it was time to put Max straight on timeout.
17:44I am putting you on a timeout because you kept letting go of the basket and you did not
17:48listen to me.
17:49And I need you to stay here for four minutes.
17:51No!
17:53Get a timer.
17:54Did you just have to come?
17:59We saw Jen implement a timeout with Max.
18:03And he tested her on that as well.
18:08It got really ugly for a while, but having Joe there allowed me to carry through and not
18:14give in.
18:15But eventually, through Jen's perseverance, he did stay in the timeout and we did get
18:29the first discipline ever executed.
18:33Max, mommy put you on a timeout because we did not hold on to the cart like I asked you
18:39to.
18:40When Jenny was doing the timeout with Max, I thought she did a great job.
18:42She really stuck to her guns.
18:44Sorry.
18:44Okay.
18:45Do you have a hug?
18:46I felt really good at the end of the timeout because that's probably one of the first
18:51times Tony or myself have really stuck with the punishment.
18:54I love you.
18:56With Max's discipline follow through, we got busy with baby proof in the house with the
19:00items that we bought from the shop.
19:02You want to do some of those?
19:03I want to do some of those.
19:04Okay.
19:05You can do some of these too.
19:06Sean and Max helped out by covering up the outlets.
19:09Got it?
19:10Yeah.
19:11Nice.
19:11Whilst dad put casings around power strips.
19:14Ah, I got it.
19:15Beautiful.
19:16Bumpers on the corners of end tables, covers over electrical cords and a guard on Mia's
19:21bedroom door to keep those little fingers safe.
19:24I've made it very clear to mom and dad in the family meeting that small items on the floor
19:29would seriously be a choking hazard for Mia and now I wanted to make that point very clear
19:33to the boys.
19:34We all know that those little things that go in baby's mouths can choke and be very dangerous.
19:39And then I had the boys put the small toys into baby proof containers.
19:43I think we feel a lot safer now having Mia crawling around on the floor.
19:48And then there was pool safety.
19:50I had mom and dad switch the pool alarm back on and then I gave them a nice little visual
19:54to remind the boys to keep the sliding doors closed for Mia's sake.
19:58This is the difference between Mia crawling out there and you guys remembering to close
20:03the door.
20:03The butterflies separate, look, two halves.
20:06So you want to bring it together, okay?
20:07The kids immediately responded.
20:10They were excited about it.
20:11And it's just so easy to see that the wings need to be together.
20:15Max, come on, when you're done.
20:17You always have to remember, close the butterfly.
20:20There's no doubt that this house will be a much safer environment for Mia and the boys
20:24going forward.
20:25With household safety on the go, it's going to be important to work on relationships and
20:30Jen and Gloria have a lot of strain in their relationship and we need to get to the bottom
20:35of this.
20:36Let's have a conversation about what creates this friction between the pair of you.
20:41Do you just want me to say whatever?
20:43Why don't you just go for it, the pair of you?
20:45I feel that I don't live up to your expectations, that I don't do a good enough job.
20:51So I think that's left me in a situation where I feel resentment.
20:55I've always been in your corner.
21:01I've always thought of you as absolutely wonderful.
21:11Over the years, I've heard my daughter say that I am disappointed in her.
21:18And I've gone to the point of saying, I think you're disappointed in yourself.
21:24Gloria, what do you feel you need to do with regards to assessing yourself?
21:30I need to maybe take some steps back here.
21:34I've been very concerned about safety and the kids.
21:40They need to come more to the forefront with you and Tony.
21:43They need to be thought of first.
21:46So we're not doing a good enough job.
21:47Well, let's be honest.
21:49I mean, that's why I'm here.
21:51When there are things that are not being taken care of,
21:53which are all the things that I've been helping you guys to understand,
21:57safety, discipline for unruly behaviour,
22:01and parents are not taking care of that,
22:04then you're like, well, what's going on here?
22:06What are these parents doing?
22:08But you are recognising that you need to back off now
22:12in knowing what's been put in place.
22:14Yeah.
22:14What do you need to do with regards to working on yourself?
22:17I need to be more assertive.
22:19I need to make sure that our rules are set by Tony and myself
22:23and that we uphold them
22:24and that you're there to help with them and support them
22:27so that when you're here, it's enjoyable and fun
22:31and there's not so much pressure to be a third parent.
22:34I want a better relationship with you.
22:37I really do.
22:38Why do you want it to be?
22:38Because you're my daughter and I love you dearly.
22:41I love you.
22:42I love you too.
22:43Don't laugh.
22:44Well, I can't help it.
22:45You make me cry.
22:47It's been a really long time since I've said to my mom,
22:50you know, I love you and given her a hug.
22:52Seriously.
22:53What this conversation did was open the door
22:56and that was a beginning.
23:01Mom mentioned to me that she doesn't find parenting fun,
23:05but she's done nothing to work on her relationships with her kids.
23:09It would be a real good start for you
23:11to actually just get involved doing some things with them
23:13that they enjoy doing.
23:14So I thought what we'd do is start off with Josh.
23:18Maybe we'll play horse or whatever.
23:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
23:22You're going to go easy on me, right?
23:23Who's yellow and who's green?
23:25Oh, I'm yellow.
23:27How was practice last night?
23:30Good.
23:31I got a rebound.
23:32So I like this.
23:34Mom gets a chance to really hang out with Josh
23:36and do what he loves doing,
23:37but it also gives him a chance just to have an everyday conversation.
23:41Is he a starter football yet?
23:42So that she understands more about Josh as he's growing up.
23:46We talked about how school is going
23:48and how I've been doing in my basketball games.
23:55Dad, she's on fire.
23:58And then it was Jack's turn.
24:00He's very creative,
24:01so I brought some clay out to get his imagination fired up.
24:05What should we make?
24:06I think we should have a plan.
24:07You're the architect, huh?
24:09Let's just go free.
24:10Do what we ever want to do.
24:11No direction, huh?
24:13No direction whatsoever.
24:15The great thing about spending the alone time with the boys
24:17is that it's starting to open up the lines of communication between us.
24:21I like your cartoon character,
24:23and you did him the three different ways.
24:25Normal, old, and buff.
24:27What I realized is that it's been a long time since I played with them
24:33and really had the opportunity to talk about things that are important to them.
24:37That's cool.
24:38It's like clouds for it to sit on now.
24:40Good idea.
24:40I hope to spend one-on-one time with my mom more often.
24:43It's fun.
24:45Sean had broke a house rule,
24:46so he was being punished,
24:47which meant that it became Max's turn with Mom.
24:50And I had a little project for the pair of them.
24:52Max was going to learn how to ride his bike without his training wheels,
24:56and Mom was going to teach him.
24:58Get your feet up there.
24:59Okay, now we're going to go straight.
25:01Let go of the handlebars.
25:02You're just going to hold this in.
25:03You go, you go, you go.
25:04Push, pedal, pedal, pedal.
25:06Okay.
25:07You know, Jen's got him going really fast,
25:09and if she just keeps doing it with him,
25:11very, very quickly he's going to end up
25:14being able to ride this bike by himself.
25:16Look out!
25:18Well done!
25:20Do it again?
25:21Yeah, you want to do it again now
25:23because she ride your bike by yourself.
25:25Here we go.
25:25Are you ready?
25:26Go, pedal, faster, faster, faster, faster.
25:28Although I have four boys,
25:30I don't think I've ever taught one of them by myself anyway
25:33to ride their bike.
25:34It meant the world to me
25:35to be able to teach him that skill,
25:38and I know I'll never forget it,
25:39and I don't think he'll ever forget it either.
25:40Ride your bike!
25:43Mom's beginning to realize
25:44that through doing these activities with her boys,
25:47it's just growing their relationship more and more
25:50so that she can continue to bond.
25:52I know how to ride my bike now.
26:01Let's discuss what you guys are all going to do
26:04whilst I'm gone.
26:06The labor of love
26:08is going to be very important for the three of you
26:11because it's going to keep the relationships healthy.
26:14Sean, hopefully we'll get to have that time with you.
26:17Yeah.
26:17I'm nervous for Jo to leave.
26:19I'm not going to have her there to ask her questions,
26:21and I'm going to have to just figure it out on my own.
26:24Please work hard and enjoy,
26:27and I'll see you in several days, okay?
26:29All right.
26:29This family really has had to absorb a lot
26:32since I've been there,
26:33but, you know, I am going to expect them to step up.
26:35They want change.
26:36They're going to have to work for it.
26:37I've been gone for three days,
26:44and I am curious to see exactly how this family
26:47have got on whilst I've been away.
26:49I don't want to have any mistakes on the DVD session.
26:52I want to get 100%.
26:53I want an A+.
26:54Hello.
26:57Hello.
26:58I don't really think Jo's going to have a big problem
27:00with anything I did personally.
27:02Now, Tony is another story.
27:04Are you ready to take a look?
27:05Already.
27:06Already.
27:07If you want to help get Max and Sean dressed.
27:10Yeah.
27:11You're not dressed yet.
27:13Can you get dressed, please?
27:15Katie's coming over tonight
27:16because Dad and I are going to dinner.
27:19If you don't listen to Katie
27:20or you don't follow our rules,
27:22I will.
27:22You're going to have a timeout.
27:24I will.
27:24You will be missing outside time tomorrow.
27:27Jack, you will lose game time tomorrow.
27:29Hi.
27:30Come over here.
27:31Let me show you this.
27:32Your concern is movie and bed.
27:36Consequences.
27:37You're going to give them that warning,
27:38and then if it happens again,
27:40then it's a consequence.
27:41Okay.
27:46Feel good watching that?
27:47Yeah.
27:48For probably the first time I went over
27:50with Katie specifically,
27:52what my expectations were.
27:54Just your overall confidence
27:57in communication
27:58was absolutely superb.
28:00I mean, everybody had clarity.
28:02Everybody knew where they were at.
28:04Right.
28:04And even the kids
28:05and how they responded
28:06was absolutely fantastic.
28:09It was very wonderful to see.
28:11Great.
28:11Watch for Mia.
28:26Be mindful of your sister
28:28who's right underneath you.
28:29Jump.
28:30Sean, butterfly.
28:31Bye-bye.
28:35What we are seeing
28:36is a complete turnaround
28:38from what we had in the beginning
28:39and a safety little sanctuary
28:41for Mia to, no doubt,
28:43be walking very soon.
28:44Yeah.
28:46Done both well.
28:48You really have.
28:48Good to see.
28:51Sean, you and I
28:51are going to watercolor.
28:55Did you know
28:56that your grandfather,
28:57my dad,
28:58was an artist?
28:59Grandpa Jack?
29:00Mm-hmm.
29:01He watercolored
29:02all the time.
29:04So you think you're
29:05going to be ready
29:06for second grade?
29:07Mm-hmm.
29:08Well, I thought
29:09first grade was going to be
29:10like a push up.
29:11Yeah?
29:12It wasn't that hard.
29:13It wasn't as hard
29:13as you thought?
29:14Yeah.
29:16It's a great day
29:17for a bike ride.
29:19In order for me
29:20to let you go,
29:21you have to give me a kiss.
29:23Ah, and let me fool you.
29:26No.
29:29So lovely to see.
29:31The kiss is a big thing.
29:32Yeah.
29:33He doesn't give those
29:33out very easily.
29:34Very much.
29:35What I get from that
29:36as well
29:37is you enjoying
29:38motherhood.
29:38You enjoying now
29:40your parenting.
29:42That's the biggest deal here
29:44because the children
29:44feel that.
29:45And that allows you
29:46to have more emotional
29:47intimacy with them
29:48which is all part
29:49of your bonding
29:50and your experiences
29:52together
29:53which was so necessary.
29:55Mm-hmm.
29:55Okay, so Tony,
29:56we're going to move
29:57on to yourself.
29:58Allergies, kiddo.
30:00You got them
30:00because I have.
30:01Just one teaspoon.
30:03Okay.
30:03That's all I need.
30:04I don't want it!
30:07Max, get up here now.
30:08Quickly.
30:09Here.
30:10I'll go like this
30:11and you don't taste it.
30:12I don't want it.
30:13Okay, I'm going to have
30:14to hold you down
30:14and force you to take it
30:16unless you do it right now.
30:17And I'm going to count to three.
30:18And I'm going to pin you down
30:19and I'm going to make you take it.
30:22I'm getting upset now.
30:23I'm starting to get frustrated
30:25with you.
30:25No, no, no, no.
30:26Okay.
30:26If you don't take your medicine,
30:28I'm going to put you
30:28on a timeout.
30:29Okay?
30:30Do you understand?
30:31No, no.
30:31That's your warning.
30:32No, that's your warning.
30:33Look at me.
30:34No.
30:34That is your warning.
30:35Look in my eyes.
30:39One, two, three.
30:42In a nutshell,
30:43you don't know
30:44what you're doing.
30:45And because you didn't know
30:46what you were doing,
30:47you sabotaged
30:48the situation with Max.
30:49What you're looking at there,
30:51was it necessary?
30:52I thought so at the time.
30:55Take this now.
30:56I wasn't going to pin you down
30:57and you have no choice
30:58and then you'll do the...
30:59Do you understand
31:00what I mean?
31:00Yeah.
31:01Like you did nothing
31:02to be able to make him feel
31:03that taking the medicine
31:04would be good for him.
31:06He took it
31:06after I gave him
31:08a warning about the timeout.
31:08Yeah, because he didn't
31:09want to sit on a timeout.
31:10The timeout's not to control,
31:12though.
31:12The timeout's to teach them
31:13boundaries.
31:14It's to teach them rules.
31:16It's not right to use
31:17a timeout to control
31:19that situation.
31:19So what do you do,
31:20though?
31:20Because I've told him before
31:21taking medicine that, you know...
31:22Change your own attitude.
31:24I mean, there's a lack
31:25of tolerance here, big time.
31:27There's a lack of patience.
31:29So you have to change
31:30your whole demeanor
31:31in the way that you behave
31:32and then you'll get
31:33a better response
31:35from the children.
31:36I've seen some great material
31:37here from mum.
31:39However, if you're not on board,
31:40you'll sabotage everything.
31:45I saw on the DVD
31:46that Dad was giving Max
31:47his medicine
31:48in a very forceful way.
31:49I need to teach Dad
31:51how to have a better approach.
31:53Max, you know you're taking
31:54your medicine for your eye,
31:55right?
31:55For your allergies?
31:56Right?
31:57Look at Dad.
31:59Those are for afterwards.
32:00That's right.
32:01I know.
32:02I know that those
32:02aren't disgusting.
32:04But we have to take this...
32:05But I can't...
32:06You're having a conversation
32:06with yourself.
32:08He's not even spoke.
32:09And you're like,
32:09I know that you're thinking
32:10this, and yeah,
32:11and you're having a conversation
32:12with yourself.
32:13Have a conversation
32:14with Max.
32:16Maxie,
32:17you have to take this
32:18medicine, babe.
32:20Because it doesn't taste good?
32:22I know.
32:23But we have to take it
32:24so you'll feel better,
32:25so your eye will stop itching.
32:26And we can take the
32:27seltzer water right afterwards.
32:28Look, it's right there,
32:29ready to go.
32:30And do you have
32:30a little syringe
32:31that you can put it in
32:32that he can apply himself?
32:33Yeah, we do have one of those.
32:34Why don't you do it yourself?
32:36Do you want to use the spoon
32:37or do you want to use
32:37the squeezer?
32:39You want to use the squeezer?
32:41Okay, you do it.
32:42It was just being more
32:43empathetic about
32:44how he was feeling
32:45and how frightened he was.
32:47All the way down.
32:48And once we empowered him,
32:50you saw a different result,
32:52a different kid.
32:52You got it.
32:53Good job.
32:54Good job, Max.
32:55You're all done.
32:56I just need to exercise
32:57my patience with Max,
32:58especially when it comes
32:59to getting him involved
33:01and letting him
33:02do things on his own.
33:04What do we do?
33:04Just let him do it himself.
33:05We gave him the choice.
33:07I think Dad's certainly
33:07learned more patience.
33:09I think he's recognizing
33:10when and when not
33:10to give discipline.
33:12And I think he's feeling
33:13more confident in himself,
33:15which means he's making progress.
33:19I think Mum's done
33:20a really fantastic job
33:21building those relationships
33:22with her sons
33:23through one-on-one time.
33:25But I do have
33:26another little idea
33:27that I want to show her
33:28to bring the whole family together.
33:30All right, let's go.
33:31Follow me.
33:31We've got a surprise place
33:32to go to.
33:33So off we went
33:34to the trampolining centre,
33:35but before we went bouncing,
33:37I had a little gift
33:37I wanted to give the family.
33:39As you can see,
33:40this is the Swift
33:41Family Fun photo album.
33:43So with this instant camera,
33:45we get to take photos
33:47and actually put them
33:47into your photo album,
33:48which is rather cool.
33:49And who's ready
33:50to have some fun?
33:51Oh, no!
33:53All right, okay.
33:54This way.
33:55This way.
33:59Go, go, go, go.
34:00Hey, go.
34:03Woo-hoo!
34:06Oh!
34:06We really enjoy playing dodgeball
34:10and just jumping as a family.
34:12Jack, come get this one.
34:14I think the kids loved
34:15having Jenny in the trampolines.
34:17I think we've been
34:17to that trampoline centre
34:18probably 20 times.
34:20She's never one time
34:21gone in the trampolines.
34:22I think they'll always
34:22remember that.
34:23I have the worst aim.
34:25You okay?
34:26My mom usually
34:27doesn't play with us.
34:28It was very nice
34:29spending time with my mom.
34:31Come on!
34:32It was amazing.
34:34Everybody was playing.
34:35The kids were having
34:36a great time.
34:37All right, Tony,
34:38you're going to get it.
34:40Oh!
34:42Glow definitely has an arm.
34:44I mean, she is very athletic.
34:47There's one right in the back!
34:53Whoa!
34:54Good job!
34:55Before we left,
34:56Mom and Grandma
34:57started putting photos
34:58into the album.
35:00Now, that's a nice one.
35:01I feel like the photo album
35:03is something we can
35:04continue to create
35:06as a family.
35:07What I've learned from Joe
35:08is that the activity
35:09doesn't matter.
35:10What's important
35:10is that you're together,
35:11able to play together
35:13and really enjoy
35:14one another's company.
35:15I'm becoming more confident
35:16and feeling more
35:18fulfilled and happy
35:19in my day.
35:21Before I arrived,
35:22Mom didn't even enjoy
35:23motherhood
35:23and didn't know
35:24how to connect
35:24with her older boys.
35:26Now she does
35:27and she's enjoying it.
35:28And that's really
35:29what it's all about.
35:31Gloria has done
35:35a lot for this family
35:36and I don't truly believe
35:37it's been appreciated.
35:39So before I leave,
35:40I want to change that.
35:41I notice that Grandma
35:42does a lot of things
35:43with you guys.
35:44And sometimes it's really nice
35:45to let the person know
35:46who does that,
35:47that we appreciate
35:48the things that they do
35:49for us.
35:49I thought it'd be a great idea
35:50if the boys drew some pictures
35:52and for Jen and Tony
35:54to write a thoughtful letter.
35:56And so I brought Grandma
35:57into her Grandma presentation.
36:00This is a thing I worked
36:02really hard on.
36:03I did it!
36:04I did it!
36:04I did it!
36:05I love gratitude
36:06that you have been
36:07so kind to me.
36:09Oh my goodness!
36:12Wow!
36:12Okay.
36:14Very nice.
36:15Let me see.
36:16Oh!
36:17Max!
36:17It was absolutely wonderful.
36:20Each of the little boys
36:22with their picture
36:23and their story behind it.
36:25I made this
36:26for everything to me.
36:27Okay.
36:28Oh my goodness!
36:30It was just marvelous.
36:31Thank you very much.
36:33You're a great guy.
36:34And then it was time
36:35for Dad to read the letter
36:37from himself and Jen
36:38to Gloria.
36:40Glow.
36:41It is very hard
36:42to put into words
36:42how much Jenny and I
36:43appreciate all you do
36:45for our family.
36:46The kids love you so much
36:47and now with all of us
36:48on the same page,
36:50I think we will all start
36:51having a lot more fun
36:52with the kids
36:53and each other.
36:54We both love you very much
36:55and can't thank you enough
36:56for all your love
36:57and support.
36:58Love, Tony and Jenny.
37:01Very nice.
37:02Very nice.
37:06You're welcome.
37:07The letter was
37:09probably one of the best
37:10things that have happened
37:11in a long time.
37:13It was very gratifying.
37:18Boys!
37:18It's time for me to leave.
37:20Bye, JoJo!
37:21Mwah!
37:22Mwah!
37:23Mwah!
37:23Tony, take care of yourself.
37:25Thank you for everything.
37:26You're welcome.
37:26Jo, thank you so much.
37:28I now know what I need to do.
37:30We have a plan to do it
37:32and we have the tools
37:33to carry it out.
37:34I'm going to get you
37:35through the same exercise.
37:36Everything.
37:37I hope that you've realized
37:38that you are capable of
37:39much more than what you thought
37:41you were capable of.
37:42I agree.
37:43Johnny