- hace 5 meses
KAOS has devised a new way of destroying the American potato crop, and Max and 99 have to find out how they're doing it. The trail leads to Siegfried, Starker, and an aerial dogfight over Twin Falls, Idaho — which is where 99's mother (Jane Dulo) lives. Max and 99 are torn between their desire to stop KAOS from taking over the world and... their desire to have Max make a good impression on 99's mother. A spoof of "Snoopy vs. the Red Baron".
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00:00The End
00:30Oh, let me help you
01:0086, we'll be making an
01:19unscheduled landing in Boise, Idaho
01:21in exactly five minutes. Plug in
01:23phone jack number two. Instructions are coming through
01:25from headquarters. Where are the air phones?
01:27In there.
01:39Uh, excuse me.
01:41Good morning. McMillan speaking.
01:57You're about to land in Boise, Idaho.
01:59From there, a car will take you to
02:00Twin Falls. Max, that's
02:02where we're going, Twin Falls. My mother
02:05lives near there. Oh, really?
02:06If you get a chance, you should drop in and
02:08see her, 99. Well, you too. She'd love
02:10to meet her future son-in-law.
02:12For several months now, the CIA has tried
02:14without success to make a breakthrough on case
02:161173, known as Operation
02:18Starch. Two hours ago, the President
02:20of the United States ordered that this case
02:22now be turned over to control. Chief,
02:24you may now bring agents 86 and 99
02:26up to date on what you already know about
02:28Operation Starch. And now,
02:30stay tuned for the CIA's sports
02:32and weather.
02:34What is Operation Starch, Chief?
02:36Let's go up front where we can talk more
02:37privately. All right, Chief, what is this
02:39Operation Starch? Operation Starch
02:41is probably the most diabolical
02:43scheme ever devised by chaos.
02:46Max, will you put down that
02:47Peanuts book? Oh, sorry about that,
02:49Chief, but this is really a funny part,
02:51where Snoopy is following the Red Baron down
02:53and... I'm not interested in Snoopy or
02:55the Red Baron. Oh, you're a Charlie Brown
02:57man. Frustrated man.
02:59Chaos has destroyed almost
03:0190% of America's potato
03:03crop. Oh, I didn't know that, Chief.
03:05It's been our government's most closely guarded
03:07secret. Well, I can see why.
03:09Americans love potatoes. That's right,
03:11Chief. Potatoes are as American
03:13as pizzas or tacos.
03:16Chief, I just had a potato last
03:17night. No, you didn't, 99. That was
03:19artificial, made scientifically from
03:21edible-flavored foam rubber.
03:23A foam rubber potato? That's right,
03:2599. Well, now, that certainly is a
03:27tribute to our scientists, Chief. I mean,
03:29the Russians may be way ahead of us in the
03:31moon program, but we're ahead of them in rubber food.
03:34Chaos is demanding
03:35that we pay them $10 billion
03:37or they'll destroy all of our crops.
03:39How are they going to do that? That, 99,
03:41is our assignment.
03:46Chief,
03:4799, it's the Red Baron.
03:53Max, you've been spending so much of your time reading
03:55Peanuts book, you're starting to see things.
03:57Maybe it's something you ate, Max.
03:58But it couldn't be 99. All I had today
04:01was an order of ham and eggs
04:02and a side order of French-fried foam rubber.
04:05The Red Baron.
04:10The Ferr creation.
05:11Dr. Leviathan, I'm the chief of control, and this is Agent 86 and Agent 99.
05:20How are you doing?
05:21Hello.
05:22Boy, 99, it's a good thing he's not with control.
05:24What a number he'd have.
05:26And we were told to contact you, doctor.
05:27Oh, fine.
05:29We'll have to talk while I work.
05:31I'm the food analyst, and I have to taste all of this.
05:34Am I sitting?
05:38Yes.
05:39Oh, good.
05:40Sometimes it's hard to tell.
05:41Doctor, did you see one of the potatoes that was destroyed?
05:44Oh, certainly.
05:48Looks all right to me.
05:49Me too.
05:50Watch.
05:50It's amazing.
05:55Do you have any idea how it was done?
05:56We first thought that some sort of bug had penetrated the potato jacket and eaten the inside.
06:01Well, that's it, 99.
06:02The case is practically solved.
06:04Now all we have to do is to find a fat bug.
06:06However, we've dropped that theory.
06:08We've dropped that theory, 99.
06:10We now think that some sort of new poison was used.
06:13Something that could permeate the potato shell and destroy the pulp.
06:17But how would that work?
06:18We don't know.
06:19Must find out.
06:20We have no idea what chaos will hit next.
06:22It could be another vegetable.
06:23Or fruit.
06:24Or even meat, chief.
06:25Who knows?
06:26At the next roundup, we might find a lot of empty cows.
06:29Would you love some sugar?
06:30Oh, no, thanks.
06:31Saccharin.
06:32I'm trying to watch the calories.
06:35Doctor, is there any area where the potatoes haven't been destroyed yet?
06:37Only one.
06:38I'm 40 miles north of here.
06:40I want you two to cover that area.
06:41Oh, chief, could we stop off on the way?
06:43My mother lives near there, and I know she'd love to meet Max.
06:46Well, 99 looks like she's not home.
06:48Max, you haven't even rung the doorbell yet.
06:51Oh.
06:52Don't get so nervous, Max.
06:54She's going to love you.
06:58I told you, 99, she's not home.
07:01Darling!
07:02Mother!
07:04Come in.
07:05Come in and close the door.
07:08He's a little bit nervous about meeting you, Mother.
07:15Isn't that cute?
07:19Come on, Max.
07:27Max, this is Mother.
07:29Mother, this is Maxwell Smart.
07:32How do you do?
07:33Any friend of my daughter's is a son-in-law of mine.
07:37Thank you, Mrs.
07:39Mother.
07:39Mrs. Mother.
07:40Mrs. Mother.
07:41Isn't that cute?
07:43Mother, you just call Max Max, and Max, you call Mother Mother.
07:47Right, 99.
07:4899?
07:50Oh, Max and I have pet names for each other.
07:53Sometimes he calls me 99, and sometimes I call him 86.
07:58Isn't that cute?
07:59So cute.
08:00You can call me 38 if it isn't taken.
08:03No, no, no, it isn't.
08:07Well, this certainly is a nice place.
08:11Would you like to have some coffee, 18?
08:14No, thank you.
08:15And the number is 86.
08:1686.
08:17I never have had a good head for numbers.
08:1994 has told me so much about you.
08:21It's 99.
08:23Of course.
08:24What must you think of me, a mother who can't remember her own daughter's number?
08:27So you're in the greeting card business.
08:31Huh?
08:31Yes, I wrote to Mother and told her that we both work at the same greeting card company.
08:35Oh, yes, yes, that's right.
08:38I think people who write greeting cards are so talented.
08:41Recite one of your cards for me.
08:43Huh?
08:45Oh, one of my cards.
08:46Yes, yes.
08:47One of my cards.
08:49For what occasion would you like it?
08:50I mean, for what holiday?
08:52Oh, let me see.
08:54Easter.
08:55Easter.
08:56Yes, that's a good one.
08:57Easter.
09:00Oh, here we go.
09:03Here comes Peter Cottontail.
09:05Hopping down the bunny trail.
09:07Hippity, hoppity.
09:08A hoppity, hippit.
09:10A hoppity, hippit.
09:10Bringing to every little girl and boy lots of baskets of Easter joy to make their Easter
09:18bright and gay.
09:19Now do Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
09:21Mother, uh, Max is very modest about his work.
09:26Oh, I'm sorry.
09:30Your shoe is ringing.
09:36Uh, Mother, uh, Max must be absolutely famished.
09:40Do you have anything in the kitchen?
09:41Uh, yes, dear.
09:42I've got some hors d'oeuvres all ready to be served.
09:43Great, I'll help you.
09:44Hello, Chief.
09:57Max here.
09:59Check.
10:01Uh-huh.
10:03Yep.
10:05No, Chief.
10:05I haven't had a chance to check out the potatoes.
10:08Look, I can't talk anymore.
10:10I'll check them out and then I'll get back to you.
10:12Right, Chief?
10:13Right.
10:13Bye, Chief.
10:14Where's Max?
10:16Uh, behind the couch talking to his shoe.
10:19Oh, here he is.
10:20Did you have a nice chat with your shoe?
10:22Yes, ma'am.
10:23I can explain that, Mother.
10:24Oh, don't bother.
10:25My husband used to always talk to his suspenders.
10:27He did?
10:29Sometimes he talked to his belt.
10:30He's a very strange man, but a good provider.
10:33Uh, Max, why don't you have some hors d'oeuvres?
10:4199, come here, quick.
10:49It's the Red Baron.
10:51Oh, he's not the Red Baron.
10:52That's Mr. Smith.
10:53He bought this bread across the way about a month ago.
10:55He's a gentleman farmer.
10:57Dressed like that?
10:58I figured he was a weekend hippie.
11:00Come on.
11:01I'm sorry, Mother, but 99 and I have to go for a walk.
11:05Now?
11:06Mother, I know this is going to be hard for you to understand, but this is an emergency.
11:09The entire fate of our nation is at stake.
11:12Darling, I understand perfectly, but couldn't it wait till after lunch?
11:15Slow down, 99.
11:21You might trip.
11:30Come on, 99.
11:31Let's get over by that haystack.
11:32We can probably get a better view of Smith's house from there.
11:35Right, Max.
11:48I'd better climb to the top and take a look, 99.
11:51Max, you can't climb a haystack.
11:53There's no support.
11:53You can if it's firmly stacked.
11:56I'll check it out.
11:58Ah!
11:58What happened?
12:00A needle.
12:01Max, I was raised in the country, and I'm telling you, you cannot climb a haystack.
12:06And I was raised in the city, 99, and I say that climbing the haystack is the same thing
12:11as climbing a wire fence.
12:13The big secret is in getting a running start.
12:23What do we do now?
12:29We find a wire fence and climb it.
12:3299.
12:33I lost my cuplink.
12:35Oh, Max.
12:35You look over there.
12:36I'll look here.
12:41I found it.
12:43It was right on the wing.
12:46On the wing?
12:49There's an airplane in here.
12:51Of course.
12:52It's the old airplane in the haystack trick.
12:55I better call the chief, 99.
12:56Right, Max.
12:57But!
13:00It's Mr. Smith.
13:02It's the Red Baron.
13:03It's Siegfried.
13:05You bet your sweet shoe phone, it's Siegfried.
13:08We meet again.
13:11So, Siegfried, you're the one who's responsible for trying to destroy the potato crop.
13:16Exactly.
13:17But that knowledge will do you no good.
13:20You see, I'm going to shoot you both.
13:22Push you in front of the spinning propellers and drop you from 18,000 feet.
13:29This is the last time we meet, Schmert.
13:32You mean you're not coming to the wedding?
13:34All right, Schmert.
13:41I have some bad news for you.
13:43Your government has refused to pay us the 10 billion dollars we demanded for not destroying
13:48the rest of the crops.
13:50Now, I have to kill you.
13:53Kill some Siegfried?
13:54Let me let them have them.
13:55Uh, Starke, this is chaos.
14:01We don't do-do-do here.
14:04Now, it is most important that you understand something that...
14:07For all you did, sir, you were going to...
14:08But before you die, Schmert, and you too, Cookie, you will see how the genius of chaos
14:18has exterminated virtually all of your potato crop.
14:21A crop-dusting plane.
14:32Yes.
14:33And it's a genuine Boker D7.
14:36Boy, I'll bet Snoopy would like to get this baby in his sights.
14:40You like it?
14:41I built it myself from a model kit.
14:46You take one piece and stick it together with it.
14:48It's made by a small company in Argentina.
14:52So that's how you've been destroying the potato crops.
14:56Exactly.
15:00I offer the farmers free crop-dusting.
15:04But instead of insecticide, I spray a newly developed bacteria.
15:08A bacteria capable of entering the potato by osmosis.
15:12And once in sight, it eats up the entire potato and burps and dies.
15:19Leaving no trace.
15:21Since Siegfried flies home victoriously.
15:26Starke, this is a-and-a-klaise from Bidon.
15:29Yeah.
15:29Now, I shall destroy the rest of your potato crops.
15:47Hey!
15:48I will attack your broccoli, your rhubarb, your squash.
15:52And last but not least,
15:54your kumquats.
15:56You really know how to hurt a guy, don't you?
16:01But first, the propellers are waiting to cut you to smithereens.
16:07Come on, Sally, then come.
16:10Switch on.
16:12Contact.
16:12Take free!
16:21Do you mind if I take off my coat?
16:24Pray, no, and I don't want to hurt it!
16:35Starke!
16:36Take care of them!
16:38I'm on my way!
16:39What are we going to do now, Max?
16:59We've got to get in touch with the cheap 99.
17:00I'll tell you what we'll do.
17:01We'll write a note and we'll tie it to the leg of one of these chickens.
17:04Max, chickens don't fly.
17:06Well, then we'll find one that can run fast.
17:08Come on, Max, look!
17:09I'll tell you what we'll do now.
17:39Ah!
17:43What happened?
17:44Oh, I stepped right on that rake, Chief.
17:47That hurt.
17:50I know.
17:52How did you know we were here, Chief?
17:54I stopped by the house and 99's mother told me we were here.
17:56You came just in the nick of time, Chief.
17:58I would have been here sooner, but she made me stop and eat first.
18:03Seat for you.
18:09We've got to finish off the potato crop.
18:16Come on.
18:25Good.
18:26He thinks he's got us.
18:27There goes the potato crop.
18:29You know, Chief, I've always wondered about that.
18:31How many potatoes are there in a crop?
18:33It all depends.
18:34Four or five thousand bushels.
18:35Boy, that's a lot of crop.
18:36Look, he's coming back.
18:40Sure.
18:41Now he's after our kumquats.
18:43We've got to stop him, Maxim.
18:44We can use the telephone at my mother's house.
18:46Oh, did you have a nice walk, children?
18:48I'm out of town.
18:49Not now, Mother.
18:50This is an emergency.
18:52Another one?
18:53I didn't know the greeting card business was that exciting.
18:55I'll go get dinner.
18:58Where's the phone, lady?
18:59I'll get it.
19:00I'll get it.
19:06Hello, operator.
19:11Give me the commanding officer at the nearest Air Force base.
19:14This is an emergency.
19:15Hurry.
19:17Hello, colonel.
19:18This is Maxwell Smart of Control.
19:20It's urgent that we get a jet plane immediately in order to prevent a national disaster.
19:25Now, I'm 40 miles north of Twin Falls.
19:27Where is the closest place that we can find an Air Force fighter?
19:32Ankara, Turkey?
19:34Nothing closer?
19:35Nothing closer?
19:38Yes, colonel.
19:38I know we have planes all over the world.
19:40But do we have any in this country?
19:42How about some of the older jets?
19:43How about some of the older jets?
19:46We sold them to Germany and Japan.
19:47Oh, that's great.
19:48Well, after all, chief, we shot all of theirs down.
19:51How about P-40s from World War II?
19:53How about the P-40s from World War II?
19:55Israel, chief.
19:56P-47s?
19:58How about the P-47s?
19:59We sold all those to the Arabs.
20:02Listen, colonel.
20:03Tell me, does the spirit of St. Louis still fly?
20:06Max.
20:08Thank you very much, sir.
20:10Looks as though Siegfried's won.
20:12Wait a minute, chief.
20:14He hasn't won yet.
20:15I know where there's a plane.
20:16Chief, you're not going to let Max go up in this old thing.
20:26Of course not, 99.
20:27I'm going after Siegfried myself.
20:29Oh!
20:32Sorry about that, chief.
20:33But you're too important to control.
20:38Shall we meet again, 99?
20:40I don't know where I'm going to let Max go up in this old thing.
21:10No problem.
21:14I don't know where I'm going.
21:18Go!
21:19Darn fool kid.
21:49Oh, he's caught up with Siegfried.
21:58Look, Chief.
22:19Chief, Max is in trouble.
22:41He's going to jump.
22:51He's jumping without a parachute.
22:53He's jumping without a parachute.
23:02Nice jump, smarts.
23:03Thank you, Siegfried.
23:04Give me a hand.
23:05Certainly.
23:06Here's a hand.
23:07Don't tell me you're shooting on our man in midair.
23:10Of course I would.
23:11I asked you not to tell me that.
23:25He's got him, Chief.
23:28All right, Siegfried.
23:29Take her down.
23:30Darling, your dinner's getting cold.
23:39Where's your fiancee, 81?
23:41He's up there, mother.
23:43Well, what do you think of him?
23:44Oh, I like him.
23:45I think he's a very nice young man.
23:47Strange, but nice.
23:49Is he really in the greeting card business?
23:52Well, yes, of course.
23:53Why do you ask?
23:54Oh, I don't know.
23:55Your father used to always say he was in the greeting card business.
23:58And wasn't he?
23:59Me?
24:00Didn't you know?
24:01Your father was a spy.
24:29Uh-oh.
24:30Hey.
24:31Hey.
24:32Hey.
24:33Hey cool, everybody.
24:34Hey.
24:36See you alone.
24:37I have to.
24:38Hey.
24:39Tap.
24:40Do you.
24:41девять.
24:42Get back.
24:43Do you?
24:44Hey.
24:45Hey.
24:46Hey.
24:47Hey.
24:48Hey.
24:49It's great.
24:50I haven't seen anyone.
24:54Hey.
24:55Hey.
24:56Hey.
24:57Hey.
24:58Hey.
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