- 4 months ago
Taskmaster UK S20E03 >>> https://dai.ly/x9r6l8u
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00:00Oh
00:02No
00:18Nothing's ever straight forward in this stupid house
00:30Hello! Thank you! Thank you!
00:36Welcome to Taskmaster, the great leveller.
00:40Comedians come with their plaudits on their impressive careers and achievements
00:44and soon realise that in this arena, they're just people.
00:47Simply humans taking on life's challenges.
00:50Which throws up the question I get asked in the street all the time.
00:54Will we, the members of the public, ever get to be on the show?
00:57No, not on my watch.
01:00Why?
01:01I simply don't want you on it.
01:04Ever.
01:05Leave it!
01:07Line drawn. Let's move on.
01:09Let's meet the people who deserve to be here.
01:12They are...
01:13Anya Magliano!
01:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:16Maisie Anna!
01:18Phil Ellis!
01:20Ruth Shearsmith!
01:22And Sanji Bhaskar!
01:25And next to me, a lover, a fighter, a bit of a biter.
01:30He's got a wonky tooth and his hair's got much whiter.
01:34He's a little at all!
01:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:38What are we chatting about?
01:40I've got my first Swiss arm.
01:47This guy can do anything.
01:48You want your phone charged?
01:49You get it.
01:50Ooh!
01:51Would you like to measure a circumference?
01:54OK, then.
01:56Is it retractable?
01:58Sort...sort of.
01:59Oh, you've got some noodles?
02:01I've got some chopsticks.
02:03There's still some noodles in your teeth.
02:05It's OK.
02:06I've got floss.
02:07LAUGHTER
02:09Would you like everything to be a bit more mysterious?
02:11Yes, please.
02:12Ooh!
02:13Ooh!
02:16Wow!
02:17And those are all the functions.
02:19And so on we march.
02:22What's the prize task category, please?
02:24Well, this one could take a while, Greg,
02:26because they've each brought in the object that is hardest to describe.
02:31Ooh!
02:32The most indescribable wins five points,
02:34and all five objects will go home with the episode winner,
02:37who will then struggle to describe them to whoever they live with.
02:40If they do live with other people,
02:41I haven't asked them about that sort of thing yet.
02:44All right, then.
02:45Phil, what's your indescribable object?
02:47Er, I've brought in the, er, the Treaty of Versailles.
02:51LAUGHTER
02:52Here it is.
02:53The actual one?
02:54Yeah, yeah.
02:55I pulled a few strings.
02:57LAUGHTER
02:58Do you know anything about the Treaty of Versailles?
03:00Well, it's just bringing Versailles together, wasn't it?
03:02You know, like,
03:03come on, guys.
03:04Come on, Versailles.
03:05We all want a holiday here.
03:06Yeah.
03:07Let's put our differences aside,
03:09reopen the water park,
03:11and let's have a lovely bank holiday Monday.
03:14Are you saying that you can't describe the Treaty of Versailles
03:17because you don't know what it's about?
03:18Yeah.
03:19Yeah, pretty much.
03:21Anya,
03:22have you got something that's impossible to describe?
03:24I think you should just show it,
03:25and you tell me if you can describe it.
03:27Ooh!
03:28Power move.
03:29OK, Greg, try to describe this.
03:31OK.
03:33A box of shit?
03:38No, it's got other stuff in it.
03:41A lightbulb.
03:42Yeah, but you don't know what lamp it's from.
03:47Yeah, she's got me.
03:48Yeah.
03:49I think you're impressed, but you're trying to fight it.
03:52What would be my motivation for fighting it?
03:56Childhood.
04:02She's right, isn't she, Mum?
04:06Maisie?
04:07Yeah, I brought in being in the womb.
04:09LAUGHTER
04:10We've all been there, but can any of us describe it?
04:14Mm.
04:15Can you remember it?
04:16I can't.
04:17Can you describe what it was like when we were there?
04:18I can't.
04:19We weren't in it together, but, like...
04:21LAUGHTER
04:22But, yeah, being in the womb.
04:23So, here is the womb.
04:24Yeah, it is.
04:25LAUGHTER
04:26It's really good.
04:27It's the only prize I want to win.
04:30LAUGHTER
04:31Sanjee, can you do better or worse?
04:33Oh, worse.
04:34Let's go.
04:35Just have a look at it, yeah.
04:36Oh.
04:37I mean...
04:38Is it an electronic game?
04:39Go for it.
04:40Well, it's a fidget toy, isn't it?
04:41Yeah.
04:42But that's what it is.
04:43That's not a description of it.
04:44No.
04:45Oh, that's very much a description of it.
04:46No, it isn't.
04:47It's like saying there's a man outside.
04:49Yeah.
04:50Does that describe him?
04:51No.
04:52LAUGHTER
04:53OK, he's right.
04:54It's a handheld tool for focus and relief.
04:57LAUGHTER
05:00What did I tell you about deleting your internet history?
05:02LAUGHTER
05:04Race.
05:05I have brought in an item from my Cabinet of Curiosities.
05:09Here is his item.
05:11LAUGHTER
05:13Oh, God.
05:14I absolutely hate it.
05:16LAUGHTER
05:17I'll let you into a secret.
05:18I made it.
05:19Get out of town.
05:21LAUGHTER
05:22What is the head?
05:23It was an owl.
05:25LAUGHTER
05:27LAUGHTER
05:28I took the face off.
05:30I absolutely hate it.
05:35LAUGHTER
05:36OK, we've seen all five.
05:37OK.
05:38Which is the easiest to describe, Craig?
05:39The easiest is the well-known Treaty of Messiah.
05:43LAUGHTER
05:45The Treaty of Messiah.
05:46I was, erm, tossing up between the box of rubbish
05:51and the fidget game, and I've decided to give fidget game
05:55two points because it is recognisable as a kind of game.
05:58OK.
05:59Whereas this is just boxes of weird stuff that's not connected,
06:01so it's a little harder to describe three points.
06:03OK.
06:04Womb or thing?
06:05Womb or thing?
06:06LAUGHTER
06:07I think probably I'll have to give thing four points,
06:09because there are things I recognise about the thing,
06:12but I've got no concept of being in the womb,
06:14so I must give that five points.
06:15Very good.
06:16Wow.
06:17APPLAUSE
06:18Let's get a hold of the task properly.
06:21Right away.
06:22And we begin with a quick sense check,
06:25followed by some segregation.
06:27Here we go.
06:28Good luck.
06:44Ooh.
06:45Hello.
06:46Hi.
06:47Who's that?
06:48It's Maisie.
06:49Oh.
06:50Who are you?
06:51Anya.
06:52Should I do something?
06:53You should open the task.
06:55Oh, God, right.
06:57OK.
06:58Sorry.
06:59This is quite sexy, isn't it?
07:01I feel like I should be putting a coin in a slot
07:03and I get to see you for, like, 30 seconds,
07:05whilst you dance.
07:08Right, I'll crack on with it.
07:11Identify Alex's five things.
07:14You may only use one sense.
07:16If you choose hearing, you get five points per item.
07:20Smell, four points.
07:22Taste, three points.
07:23Touch, two points.
07:25Sight, one point.
07:27Oh.
07:29Highest total score wins.
07:30You have a maximum of ten minutes.
07:32Your time starts as soon as you have decided which sense you will be using.
07:35And I'm looking for an adjective and a noun.
07:38An adjective?
07:39I would like you to tell me which sense you're going to be using.
07:41Oh.
07:42And I'm going to go for hearing.
07:44Do you know what the hell?
07:45Go for hearing.
07:46Oh, yeah.
07:47Yeah.
07:48Go out in a blaze of glory.
07:49I'm going to go smell.
07:50On the board between us.
07:52Uh-huh.
07:53There's a tiny little triangle shape, nose-ish.
07:56Am I going to have to put my nose in the hole?
07:58You're going to have to put your nose in the hole.
07:59Was I going to have to put my tongue in the hole?
08:01You were going to have to put your tongue in the hole.
08:02OK, I think I've made a good decision.
08:04I'm going to go right down the middle.
08:05I'm going to go taste.
08:06I'm going to taste it.
08:07Sure.
08:08I'm going to go taste all the way down.
08:10So, what I need you to do is put the blindfold on,
08:12the nose clip and the ear defenders.
08:14Oh, flippin' it.
08:15That's it.
08:16Eye mask is on.
08:18OK, it's on.
08:19Eye mask is on.
08:20Nose clip on.
08:21Well, what do you think?
08:23APPLAUSE
08:25All these series and at last we finally have
08:28a facial glory hole on the show.
08:31Sanjeev, you chose hearing.
08:33Yeah, I did.
08:34And said, because I intend to go out in a blaze of glory.
08:36Absolutely.
08:37I sense you couldn't care less.
08:40Marvellous.
08:41Who are we seeing first?
08:42Well, we're going to see one lone identifier to begin with,
08:45using only her sense of smell.
08:47It is Anya's Magliano's.
08:54Ah!
08:55Please put your nose through the nose hole.
08:57Coming through.
08:59Sniff.
09:01Oh, this is really hard.
09:06I'm going to say,
09:07fashionable watch.
09:09Fashionable watch.
09:10Yes.
09:11Item number two.
09:12Yes, please.
09:14Tiny cow.
09:16Tiny cow.
09:18Next item.
09:19It's got hay or something.
09:20It kind of smells like the London Dungeons.
09:23I'm just going to turn it the other way up.
09:24OK.
09:26Sniff.
09:27Oh, less of a smell on that side.
09:29Can I have the first side again, please?
09:32Oh, God.
09:33This is really frustrating.
09:35You've only got two and a half minutes.
09:36OK.
09:37I'm going to go scarecrow.
09:39OK.
09:40Is that your full answer?
09:41No.
09:42Scrigledy scarecrow.
09:44Scrigledy, is it?
09:45Item four.
09:46Sniff.
09:47Coffee.
09:48Something smells a bit like coffee.
09:49OK.
09:50Cold coffee.
09:51Why do you think it's cold?
09:52Because it smells cold.
09:54Can I have the last item, please?
09:56Here it comes.
09:57Ooh, that smells nice.
09:59It smells like yoghurt.
10:00Coconut-y yoghurt.
10:02Coconut-y yoghurt.
10:03Yeah.
10:04That's the end, Anya.
10:05Well done and goodbye.
10:06OK.
10:07See you one day.
10:08See you one day.
10:13Interestingly, away from the context of your face,
10:16your nose looks prosthetic, I think.
10:18It looks like a sort of lone soldier going over into the battlefield.
10:22I can't handle this.
10:23I'll go over the top myself.
10:24Yeah.
10:25Stay there, face.
10:26Yeah.
10:27What did she say tiny cow to?
10:29The wet teeth you thought was a tiny cow.
10:31Wet teeth?
10:32Wet teeth, yes.
10:33They were wet teeth.
10:34It is disgusting.
10:35They were real wet teeth.
10:37But cows are made of milk.
10:39No, cows have milk in them.
10:42And teeth.
10:43Teeth of calcium in them.
10:44So that's what I was probably picking up on.
10:46Yeah.
10:47Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:48You've got the calcium coming through your nose.
10:50Anyway, the yoghurt.
10:51She got some points at last.
10:52Yeah.
10:53She chose smell, so it's four points per correct item.
10:56She got the yoghurt.
10:57She said coconut yoghurt.
10:58It wasn't coconut.
10:59It was a plain grey yoghurt.
11:00But we'll give her the four for saying yoghurt.
11:01You want to give four?
11:02Oh, God.
11:03Even though it was coconut yoghurt?
11:05Look, mate, we're sticking hair on staplers.
11:07We'll give them...
11:08Next.
11:09Yes, please.
11:10It's Maisie and Rhys, who both have great taste.
11:13Or do they?
11:14I'm just going to create a little hole for your mouth.
11:18Excellent.
11:19Ooh.
11:20That's my finger.
11:21That's your finger.
11:22That's where your mouth is going to go.
11:24OK, I'm ready.
11:25Right.
11:26I would love to see your mouth.
11:27There it is.
11:28Can I nail?
11:29You do whatever you're comfortable with.
11:30Go.
11:31Are you ready for item number one?
11:32Yes.
11:33Have a taste of this.
11:34Pop it in the mouth?
11:35In your mouth.
11:36I need to get a good grip on its texture.
11:37OK, here it comes.
11:38I'm trying to make it...
11:40There we go.
11:41That's a frozen flannel.
11:42Frozen flannel.
11:43Yeah.
11:44You spend four and a half minutes on item number one.
11:45Right, go on.
11:46Move on.
11:47OK.
11:48Frozen...
11:49I would ask you to not consume this.
11:50Ready?
11:51Uh-huh.
11:52I don't, er...
11:53I don't think they're not teeth, are they?
11:54Do you want me to write down human teeth?
11:55No.
11:56I can't write down teeth.
11:57Er...
11:58It feels good.
11:59No.
12:00No.
12:01No.
12:02No.
12:03No.
12:04No.
12:05No.
12:06No.
12:07No.
12:08No.
12:09No.
12:10No.
12:11No.
12:12No.
12:13No.
12:14No.
12:15No.
12:16No.
12:17No.
12:18No.
12:19No.
12:20It feels like they are little.
12:22Plastic beads.
12:23Right, plastic beads.
12:24And I've crossed out human teeth.
12:25Yep.
12:26Wet beads.
12:27Wet...
12:28...beads.
12:29Yep.
12:30Item number three.
12:34Could you put it in the now?
12:35Mmm, I suppose so.
12:37Go on.
12:42Would you like the other way up?
12:43No.
12:44I don't want to do that again.
12:45It's like putting my tongue into a...
12:48...a furry hole.
12:50It's a stack of scissors. A lovely pair of scissors.
12:53You think we'd let you lick scissors, do you?
12:54No. A furry key ring.
12:57A hairy coat. Lovely.
13:00Good boy.
13:04Is it jam?
13:05What's the word when jam has got bits in it?
13:08Bitty jam.
13:10Caramelised sugar.
13:12Caramelised sugar.
13:13Yeah.
13:13One more item.
13:15Yeah?
13:15I need your mouth.
13:16Oh, yeah.
13:20Is that the hole?
13:21If you want.
13:23Ready?
13:27Oh.
13:30Here it comes.
13:32There we go.
13:42Oh, I know that.
13:43Oh, it's on the tip of my tongue.
13:46Right, what is it?
13:47I'm going to say a spoonful of yoghurt.
13:50Yoghurt.
13:50It's yoghurt.
13:51It's yoghurt.
13:52I need an adjective.
13:53It's, um...
13:54Uh...
13:55Strawberry yoghurt.
13:56Plain.
13:57It is a strawberry yoghurt.
13:59Greek.
14:01Plain.
14:02They keep...
14:03You can take everything off now.
14:05You may not look this size.
14:06Yeah.
14:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
14:08I mean, there were so many disturbing images.
14:14Your mouth coming through my nose eating yoghurt is absolutely one of the most horrific things I've ever seen.
14:22There's all sorts of half marks there, I think.
14:24Frozen flannel, frozen cloth.
14:26How many points?
14:26Well, one and a half points each.
14:28One and a half points each.
14:29Yeah.
14:29We've got wet beads or plastic beads.
14:31Or human teeth.
14:33It is extraordinary for him to have got teeth, so I have to give him something.
14:37We're going one and a half, one and a half again?
14:38Yeah, one and a half.
14:39Give another one and a half.
14:40OK.
14:40Then we've got furry keyring or hairy comb.
14:43Yeah.
14:44So, one and a half each.
14:45Sugar.
14:45It was sticky sprinkles or bitty jam.
14:48I don't think bitty jam.
14:49I don't think bitty jam gets anything.
14:51Nothing for bitty jam.
14:51Anything for caramelised sugar?
14:53Come on, we're not breaking things down to their constituent.
14:55So, nothing for jam or sugar.
14:56Finally, strawberry yoghurt or plain yoghurt?
14:59Plain yoghurt is the full three points.
15:02Of course it is.
15:03And half marks for strawberry yoghurt?
15:05Yes, of course, because it's not strawberry, but it is yoghurt.
15:07OK.
15:09Great.
15:09I'll get to the point quickly.
15:11It's break time.
15:11Bye.
15:15APPLAUSE
15:17Hello.
15:24Welcome back to Taskmaster.
15:26Before the break, they were trying to work out what five things I had on my side of the divider,
15:30using only one of their senses.
15:32We've seen Anya guessing with her smell, Maisie and Rhys with their taste,
15:37and now, finally, it's Phil and Sanjeev's turn with their ears.
15:42Oh, God.
15:43It's not going to be at the most convenient height.
15:45Well, I told you about that.
15:47Just tell me where you want me to be.
15:48I just want to...
15:49Ow!
15:49Right, that looks...
15:50Who is this designed for?
15:51That looks perfect.
15:52What?
15:54Are you ready to start listening?
15:55I'm ready.
15:56Well, here's item number one.
15:57Ready to listen carefully?
15:58Yep.
15:58I'm ready to listen carefully.
15:59I'm ready to listen carefully.
16:00I'm ready to listen carefully.
16:01I'm ready to listen carefully.
16:02I'm ready to listen carefully.
16:03But then it could be...
16:04Oh, God.
16:05What is that?
16:06Is it a mossy walk?
16:07A mossy walk?
16:08A mossy walk?
16:09Yeah, no.
16:10Scrap that.
16:11It's a...
16:12It sounds like a scourer.
16:14Like a green scourer.
16:15A green scourer.
16:17Rough scourer.
16:18It doesn't have to be the colour, does it?
16:19No.
16:20I'm going to go cleaning cloth.
16:22Next item.
16:23Oh, I don't like it.
16:25Dice.
16:26What sort of dice?
16:27Small.
16:28Small dice.
16:29OK.
16:30A brush of some kind.
16:32A brush?
16:33A hard bristled brush.
16:34A hard bristled brush.
16:35Yeah.
16:36Right, so we're going down the cleaning route so far.
16:38Yeah.
16:39Item number three.
16:48Are you still there, Sanjeev?
16:49Yeah, just about.
16:50I don't...
16:51I don't...
16:52I don't understand what the rubbing is.
16:54Is it a stapler?
16:56Fabric stapler?
16:58A what stapler?
16:59That's not a thing, is it?
17:00What am I writing down?
17:01Fabric stapler, please.
17:03OK, your ear's a bit low.
17:05Mm-hm.
17:06That's my stapler.
17:07OK.
17:08Grabby thing.
17:09That sounds like a grabby thing with a spring.
17:11Am I writing down grabby thing?
17:13Yeah, you might as well.
17:14I've got anything better.
17:15Metallic grabby thing.
17:17Yeah.
17:18Item number four.
17:19Listen very carefully to this.
17:20Yeah.
17:21Oh, fuck.
17:23I don't know.
17:24It's a comb.
17:25No, toothbrush.
17:26What's the adjective?
17:27Child's toothbrush.
17:28Isn't that a scourer?
17:29A plastic scourer.
17:30A plastic scourer, lovely.
17:31Final item.
17:32It's really relaxing.
17:33Sounds like a small fountain that you find in a massage parlour, apparently.
17:35Yeah, it could be a ping pong ball.
17:38Could be a ping pong ball or a bat.
17:39It's a caveter.
17:40It's one of those water things.
17:41The bird that keeps dipping.
17:42Death toy.
17:43Yeah, that's a straw moving a ping pong ball in a jar of water.
17:46Wow.
17:47Very specific, that one.
17:48Would you like to hear any again?
17:49No.
17:50Ever.
17:51Thanks very much.
17:52See you, Finnadie.
17:53Well, so, I thought it was going to be a total disaster with your first guess,
17:58Mossy White.
17:59It could be a ping pong ball or a bat.
18:00It could be a ping pong ball or a bat.
18:02It's a caveter.
18:03It's one of those water things.
18:04The bird that keeps dipping.
18:05Death toy.
18:06Yeah, that's a straw moving a ping pong ball in a jar of water.
18:07Wow.
18:08Very specific, that one.
18:09Would you like to hear any again?
18:10No.
18:11Ever.
18:12Thanks very much.
18:13See you, Finnadie.
18:14Well, so, I thought it was going to be a total disaster with your first guess,
18:22Mossy Walk.
18:23We've all been on one.
18:25But the big one, he landed the big fish.
18:28Fabric stapler.
18:29Wow.
18:30Just with his ears.
18:33Hello.
18:34There was a period where you were very still and your head was against it
18:38and I genuinely thought you were fully asleep.
18:40I had passed out and then I was awoken by a strange noise.
18:46Was it metallic grabby thing?
18:48Yeah, in a way, that does describe a stapler, doesn't it?
18:51I'm going to give you 2.5 marks for metallic grabby thing.
18:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:56Very generous of you.
18:58Well, I guess that means that, Sanjeev, you got two and a half points,
19:00you're in last place, you get one actual point.
19:02Ah.
19:03Blaze of glory.
19:04LAUGHTER
19:05Anya, you get two points.
19:08Phil, you get three points.
19:10Maisie, you come second, you get four points.
19:12In first place, he scored seven and a half points.
19:15It's Rhys Shearsmith!
19:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:17He licked human teeth to victory.
19:22Let's see the scoreboard.
19:24Well, we're in familiar territory.
19:26Sanjeev's in last place on three,
19:27but at the top, it's Rhys and Maisie on nine points.
19:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:33Very good. Another task.
19:35Right away, please.
19:36OK, I have the first team task for you, Greg,
19:40and it's going to be super.
19:59Hello, Alex.
20:00Hello, Maisie.
20:02What can you see?
20:04Two ducks in a bath.
20:05It's difficult to remember what was here before, innit?
20:08In a way, yeah.
20:09It's from...
20:11LAUGHTER
20:12Hi.
20:13Hi, Rhys.
20:14How are you?
20:15Yeah, good, thanks.
20:16Nice to meet you.
20:17You all right?
20:18Yeah, yeah, you all right?
20:19Rhys, Maisie, Maisie, Rhys.
20:20Hi, how are you?
20:21Yeah, very well.
20:22Very well.
20:23You're a team.
20:24We're a team!
20:25We're going to be a team.
20:26This is exciting.
20:27Oh, I thought you were a task.
20:28Like, I thought you were...
20:29No, I'm a real person.
20:30Those ducks are wearing the same clothes as me.
20:33So the ducks are all of us.
20:35GASP
20:36GASP
20:38Hello.
20:39Hello.
20:40I'm Anya.
20:41Hi, Anya.
20:42Nice to meet you.
20:43No way.
20:46Hello.
20:47Oh, hey, guys.
20:48How are you?
20:49I love it.
20:50Hello.
20:51How are you?
20:52First time meeting.
20:53Yeah.
20:54The three of you are a team.
20:55I feel like a part of a family, finally.
20:57There's a task behind you.
20:59What?
21:00Oh.
21:01Go on.
21:02Do you want to look at it?
21:03Shall I look at it?
21:04No, you do it.
21:05Each team member must hook a duck.
21:07Silently read the duck's superpower.
21:11Then use that superpower for the next task in ten minutes from now.
21:15At no point may you tell your teammates your superpower.
21:18Your time starts now.
21:20OK, so, let me get this straight.
21:22We've got a superpower that's coming, but we don't say what it is.
21:24We don't know what that is.
21:25In the meantime, we do hook a duck.
21:26Yes.
21:27You must stay behind that red line, please.
21:32Pretty cool guy on there.
21:34Yeah.
21:35He's like George Michael, isn't he?
21:38Writer's superpower on the little clipboard.
21:42You have two minutes.
21:44Your time starts now.
21:46Oh, is it meant to be you?
21:47Because of its gap in its teeth.
21:49Oh!
21:50Soz!
21:52Oh, is it actually you?
21:54You've got your abs.
21:55And your crotch.
21:57I think that's a good superpower.
21:59Come on.
22:00There we go.
22:01Are you ready?
22:02Yeah.
22:03OK, I've got it.
22:04Who have you got?
22:05Maisie.
22:06Sorry.
22:07Oh, no, Phil!
22:08Don't show each other your superpowers, but have a read.
22:09Rotate slowly and powerfully to thwart evil.
22:21You can morph into George Michael at any given moment.
22:26Turn any family member into a weapon by a look.
22:31Your fingers are a vacuum cleaner.
22:34You can tell when anyone lies.
22:38OK, the next task will start in eight minutes.
22:42Please go into the house and prepare yourselves.
22:44Can't they?
22:45APPLAUSE
22:47I mean, there's a lot going on in this, isn't there?
22:51But I think I understand.
22:53Mm, they've all got superpowers now.
22:55And they'd previously made up the superpowers themselves.
22:58That's right.
22:59Well, we can see another introduction video if you want.
23:01That's what I was hoping for.
23:02Let's do it.
23:03Here we go.
23:05Come on, race.
23:07Ah, welcome team.
23:09Oh!
23:10I remember this guy.
23:12Yeah.
23:13Shall we go for it?
23:14Let's have a look.
23:15What is that?
23:16It's a cake.
23:17Is it Alex on a meringue?
23:18Remove the most flour from the tray without touching flour
23:22with your hands or moving little, little Alex Horne.
23:25If little, little Alex Horne moves at any point,
23:29you are disqualified.
23:30Oh, no!
23:32You must take it in turns to remove flour
23:34and you must employ your superpowers.
23:37There's a bonus point for the contestant
23:39who employs their superpower most effectively.
23:42Most flour in the bowl wins.
23:44You have a maximum of 15 minutes.
23:46Your time starts now.
23:48So you can stop at any time?
23:50Oh.
23:51Oh, right, so we need to know when to tap out.
23:52Exactly.
23:53So when you say you can't move him,
23:54what about his cape or if it flaps?
23:56Yeah, what if his cape flaps?
23:58Is that movement?
23:59I'm going to be watching his body.
24:01We asked you about the cape flaps.
24:03Can we avoid the term cape flaps?
24:05That's out of the bag.
24:06The cape may flap.
24:08I mean, I'm amazed to watch some adults debating
24:14whether cape flaps are movement in a human being.
24:19I enjoyed it.
24:20So it's a very big build-up for this,
24:22but we're not going to see what happens
24:23till after the break, Greg.
24:24Oh, my God.
24:25And the part two, anyone?
24:27Yes, please.
24:28APPLAUSE
24:38Hello.
24:39Thank you, and welcome back to part three of Taskmaster.
24:42And tonight, I'm going to part three like it's 1999.
24:45Before the break, they each selected a superpower they had
24:52previously created and now they have to use those powers
24:55while removing as much flour as possible without toppling
24:58the super little Alex Horne figurine.
25:00Here's how they all got on.
25:02He can't move and we've got to get all that flour into there
25:05Yeah.
25:06And deploy the super power.
25:07Yeah.
25:08Do you think that we will be able to do it?
25:09Yeah, defo.
25:10I think you're lying.
25:12Anyway.
25:13What do you mean?
25:14I don't know.
25:15I've just got a feeling.
25:16Look what I've got.
25:19That's good.
25:21Why don't, er...
25:22Sanjeev Zordi.
25:23Yeah, good idea.
25:24Oh, that's good, yeah.
25:25What is the scientific way that he would be not falling?
25:29Well, maybe I can help.
25:31Hello?
25:32Hi, is that Andrew?
25:34It is, yes.
25:35Hi, er, this is your brother Phil.
25:38So, er, we've got a tiny version of Alex Horne.
25:44I'm going to get the flour away without him moving.
25:47Er, telekinesis?
25:49That's not going to work.
25:51Erm, thanks though.
25:52Is that your half-brother?
25:54Half-brother?
25:55Step-brother?
25:56What made you think we were a step-brother?
25:57That was my fault.
25:58Really?
25:59Yeah, yeah.
26:00It just didn't sound right.
26:02I know.
26:03I think we panicked.
26:04How come we've got such good items for this very time?
26:06I know, I'm really happy here.
26:08Do you think somebody knew what the tasks were?
26:10Do you think there's been some foul play?
26:12No.
26:13And I know that to be true because I know that to be true.
26:17Erm...
26:18Can I prepare my superpower to go after Phil?
26:21Do whatever you want.
26:23Is that the superpower?
26:26Yeah.
26:27That's probably the most so far, actually.
26:30Back to Sanjee.
26:31I've got an idea.
26:32I'm going to use this as a straight hedge and then we can scoop that without worrying about.
26:37Yeah, yeah.
26:42Hello?
26:43So, Andrew, Sanjeev is using a letter now to move the flower away.
26:47Does that sound like a good idea?
26:48Yes.
26:49Thanks, see you later.
26:50You are my brother, though, aren't you?
26:52I can confirm I'm your actual brother, yes.
26:54Fully?
26:55Fully.
26:56You don't need to know all the details.
26:57See you, bro.
27:01Oh, that looks good.
27:02That's it.
27:03This is good, Rhys.
27:04You've got a good momentum going.
27:06This is my son.
27:08Come on, boy.
27:09Be good for Daddy.
27:11OK.
27:12Come on, boy.
27:13This is your son, is it, Phil?
27:15Yeah.
27:16Tarquin.
27:17There's old Tarquin.
27:18He's got his dad's eyes.
27:19Oh, Alex, can I have my big one?
27:21Oh?
27:22Big one, now, please.
27:25That's a suck, is it?
27:27Oh...
27:28You've got seven and a half of them.
27:29I'm going to go for these.
27:30I think we've done quite well, actually.
27:31I mean, I've done...
27:32I mean, I've done...
27:33Whoa!
27:34Whoa!
27:35Whoa!
27:36Whoa!
27:37Whoa!
27:38Whoa!
27:39Whoa!
27:40Whoa!
27:41Whoa!
27:42Whoa!
27:43Whoa!
27:44Whoa!
27:45Whoa!
27:46Whoa!
27:47Whoa!
27:48Whoa!
27:49Whoa!
27:50Whoa!
27:51Whoa!
27:52And that's the timer.
27:53Oh!
27:54We're about 15 seconds away from completing the task.
27:58I'm happy with that.
28:00Thanks, team.
28:01Bye-bye.
28:02Thanks, guys.
28:03APPLAUSE
28:05I am tempted to spend the whole time discussing why Anya doubts the bloodline of Phil's family.
28:12I just thought the conversation felt quite stilted, no offence.
28:16Macy, you had a better superpower for the job.
28:19Yeah.
28:20And you were certainly very excited when you realised.
28:22Have we got a stilt?
28:23Yes.
28:24But looking at you guys, like, you were really powering ahead.
28:29We were slow, weren't we?
28:30All that chopping into it was good, Sam.
28:31I think you had a better strategy.
28:32Oh, the slow and steady science-based approach.
28:35Yeah.
28:36Delighted.
28:37It was like an Aesop's fable.
28:38It really was.
28:39And I had a little nap in the middle.
28:41Both teams absolutely failed.
28:43So it's simply this.
28:44There is a bonus point for the contestant who employs their superpower most effectively.
28:48Slow, steady, powerful.
28:50I'm going to give Sanjeev the bonus point.
28:52OK, so 0-0-0-0.
28:53One point for Sanjeev.
28:55APPLAUSE
28:57Do you have another task, Alex, please?
28:59I'm sure I can pull one out of the bag for you, Greg.
29:02Here we go.
29:03MUSIC
29:16Lovely floral print.
29:18Your sort of thing.
29:21What's this?
29:22We're in the dome, you've got a bag.
29:23Yeah.
29:24Do I look in it?
29:25What are you looking for?
29:27A task.
29:28You want the task?
29:29Yeah.
29:30Sure, make a wish.
29:32Make a wish?
29:33Yeah.
29:34Why would I make a wish?
29:35Make the task appear.
29:37I wish a task appeared.
29:39That's it.
29:40Keep wishing.
29:45Oh!
29:46Oh, my God, that's so magical.
29:48Ah.
29:52Oh, God.
29:53I wish a task would appear.
29:55That's dead impression.
29:56Funny little way to start the task.
30:07Take the most surprising thing out of this bag.
30:10This is a Mary Poppins thing.
30:12I've just got it, showed a big bag.
30:14You have a maximum of...
30:1615 minutes.
30:17Your time starts now.
30:19Take the most surprising thing out of this bag.
30:24Take the most surprising thing out of this bag.
30:30Shall I go and get things, put them in and that'd be a surprise when they come out again?
30:35Exactly that.
30:42I just don't understand the task.
30:44Take the most surprising thing.
30:47I could put stuff in the bag to take out.
30:50OK.
30:51That's what you do, isn't it?
30:55Fascinating what this show does, isn't it?
30:57I know for a fact that Maisie is an incredibly intelligent woman,
31:01and yet she came across there as a new Coronation Street character
31:05who's adorable but thick.
31:10It's just the pressure.
31:11The pressure.
31:12It just does something to you.
31:14OK.
31:15Let's crack up.
31:16OK, they've got to take something surprising out of the bag.
31:18Here is Anya and Sanya.
31:21Sanji.
31:22Here we go.
31:25Chicken.
31:26There's a chicken in the bag.
31:27Chicken in the bag.
31:30OK.
31:31Thanks, Anya.
31:33Very surprising.
31:36One more thing.
31:43Oh, there's a can of chicken in the bag.
31:45You sound surprised.
31:47I am.
31:50Go and get a can opener.
31:54Right.
31:55Can't wait.
31:56Ladies and gentlemen.
32:01In the blue corner,
32:03we have...
32:06Ingmar Johansson.
32:08The great Scandinavian boxer.
32:11What do you think might be inside this can?
32:13Beans.
32:16What is it?
32:17Jam.
32:18Jam?
32:20It comes off.
32:21Surprise.
32:23And what will you find in the great Ingmar Johansson's boxing glove?
32:30I don't know.
32:32His hand.
32:33His hand.
32:35Thank you, Anya.
32:36Jam in a can in a chicken in a bag.
32:38Let's just check if there's anything inside this jam.
32:40Look at that.
32:41There was a bean in the can.
32:42Mmm.
32:43But by the time that we came round to it, that was surprising.
32:44Thank you, Anya.
32:45But wait.
32:46Surely there can't be anything inside this little bean?
32:47Huh?
32:48Message.
32:49Inside the bean?
32:50Inside the bean?
32:51There was a bean in the can.
32:53But by the time that we came around to it, that was surprising.
32:56Thank you, Anya.
32:57But wait.
32:59Surely there can't be anything inside this little bean.
33:05Oh, message.
33:07Inside the bean?
33:08Inside the bean.
33:15Greg, I am your daughter.
33:16APPLAUSE
33:19I knew it.
33:20I knew it.
33:21That's why I was so comfortable seeing your nose in my nose.
33:25Yeah.
33:26Mallorca 1998.
33:27Tell me about it.
33:29Oh, my God, well, they're both good.
33:31I mean, to mention a Swedish boxer.
33:34He won the world title in 59-60, something like that.
33:37Yeah, I thought so, yeah.
33:39Of course.
33:40I was surprised to have him referenced.
33:42I was surprised that his severed hand was in the club.
33:46And most of all, I was surprised.
33:48I think Sanjeev was enjoying himself during that.
33:50LAUGHTER
33:51But I have to say, Anya's one is one of the best things I've ever seen.
33:55LAUGHTER
33:56So there is that.
33:57I mean, I was impressed when you had jam in a can up a chicken's cloaca.
34:01LAUGHTER
34:03Before I find out that you're my beloved daughter.
34:07LAUGHTER
34:08Yeah, it's quite a journey, I think, for both of us.
34:12But it's nice to finally be reunited.
34:14Yeah, it's great.
34:15I don't really want to hang out, though.
34:17LAUGHTER
34:18A boxer and a daughter.
34:19Want to see some more?
34:20I want to see more than a boxer and a daughter, all right?
34:22OK, next, it's two people who sound like four people.
34:25Maisie, Adam, Phil, Ellis.
34:28LAUGHTER
34:29You're looking pretty surprised, Alex.
34:31Right.
34:32Huh?
34:33Huh?
34:34Oh!
34:35Oh!
34:36Mkay!
34:37T.
34:38T.
34:39T.
34:40T.
34:41T.
34:46T.
34:50T.
34:51T.
34:52T.
34:53T.
34:54T.
34:55T.
34:58T.
34:59T.
35:00Eh?
35:03Oh-ho-ho! Eh?
35:07Pondrez-moi de la sac.
35:10Right. I'll just tip it back, I suppose, is it?
35:14Je ne sais quoi!
35:20Oh, there was a donkey dressed as a chicken in the bag.
35:23Oui! With a French lady on the...
35:25A donkey dressed as a chicken in a feather boa
35:27with a French lady in a Hawaiian bra and an accordion.
35:32Well, I wasn't expecting that.
35:33No!
35:34Thank you, Maisie.
35:37Oh! Oh!
35:38Oh!
35:39Oh!
35:40Oh!
35:42Oh!
35:43Surprising?
35:44Well, I thought it might be a fish.
35:46That's not the surprising bit.
35:49Just got to gut it.
35:51Now that's the surprising bit.
35:57It's great.
35:58There we are.
35:59Well, thank you very much.
36:01APPLAUSE
36:06So, Maisie was a surprising chicken donkey French Hawaiian accordion player.
36:09Oui.
36:10We.
36:11Yeah.
36:12But I wasn't really that surprised because I could see you straight away.
36:16Honestly, we can just skip through.
36:18Yeah.
36:19OK, Phil.
36:20Everyone knows that a lot of fishing rods are extendable,
36:23so when you started doing that old trick, I thought,
36:25this is disappointing, this is not at all surprising.
36:27And then when there was a fish on the end of the line,
36:29I thought, that's a bit disappointing.
36:31Yeah.
36:32And that's when you hit me with a big surprise.
36:34You found a photograph of me where I'm quite clearly hammered.
36:38Yeah.
36:40And vulnerable, some would say.
36:41That was the night I was conceived.
36:43LAUGHTER
36:51So, the photo, when you see the photo here,
36:53just so you know, Greg, your teeth there,
36:55it's actually your date of birth on your teeth,
36:57and it's your phone number on your arm.
36:59My actual phone number?
37:00Yeah, that's why we blurred it slightly.
37:01Ah, that's good.
37:02But I've got it, Anya, if you want it.
37:04OK, OK.
37:05LAUGHTER
37:06It's break time, what's more.
37:07In the final part of the show, the winner will head home
37:10with the Treaty of Versailles tucked under one arm,
37:13a replica womb under the other,
37:15and a deep-booted sense that time is running out
37:17and they should hold their loved ones that little bit closer.
37:20See you in a bit.
37:21APPLAUSE
37:23Welcome back to the final part of the show,
37:33where people are pulling things out of bags.
37:35Yes, they have to do that because you told them to do that
37:38with a typed letter sealed with wax,
37:40and people very rarely question the logic
37:41of what is the main principle of the show.
37:43There's just one person left to see,
37:45and it's Reece Shearsmith.
37:53A bag.
37:54Surprising.
37:55Yes?
37:56Yes.
37:57Ooh!
38:01What is this?
38:02All right?
38:15All right?
38:22Dart board?
38:24Oh.
38:26Baby head.
38:27I'm sorry, but I didn't find anyone to have expected that.
38:33Glass came below.
38:35Interesting.
38:39Hit the spot with a bone to pick from the pea-brained baby.
38:42Surprising.
38:44Solve the riddle.
38:45Hit the spot.
38:46Well, this is a target,
38:47so you know what would target this plate,
38:51a plate of food that would hit the spot?
38:53Who knows?
38:54Let's see what the next part of the riddle is.
38:57With the bone to pick.
38:58Well, there's the bone to pick.
39:00We've got a plate.
39:01Perhaps somehow this...
39:03Well, I never.
39:06A bone that becomes a spoon.
39:07I'm sorry, but that's a surprise.
39:10And, er...
39:12The pea-brained baby.
39:13Well, now.
39:14The pea-brained.
39:16On a petite.
39:23Bit surprising, isn't it?
39:25Oh, yeah.
39:26I was expecting that way.
39:27I wasn't.
39:32Right.
39:33There.
39:34Ain't got anything to go with this.
39:36Anything else in the bag?
39:41Oh, yeah.
39:43Ah, lovely.
39:44Bit.
39:47I'd say that was...
39:49...very surprising.
39:50Get out.
39:51Yeah, one bag.
39:53Wow.
39:55OK, thanks, Rhys.
39:57OK.
39:58See you later.
39:59See you.
40:00See you later.
40:06That was brilliant.
40:07That was brilliant.
40:08Brilliant.
40:09There's a plain man mopping up baby brains in the baguette.
40:13Yeah, pretty much.
40:14Brilliant.
40:15Wow.
40:16God, what a drama.
40:17It looked extravagant.
40:18OK.
40:19Got some points?
40:20I guess so, yes.
40:21Well, we know what the least surprising thing from the bag was.
40:23It was Maisie.
40:25No-one's going to get two points,
40:26because I think there was a considerable jump in quality after Maisie.
40:30Let's say three points to Sanjeev's that I enjoyed immensely.
40:33Right.
40:34Four points to Phil.
40:36And the baby brains and discovering I've got a daughter I couldn't separate.
40:41They both horrified me.
40:44And you're pleased?
40:46And I'm pleased!
40:49Thank you, Daddy.
40:52Five points to Anya and five points to Rhys!
40:57Let us glance at the scores once more.
40:59Yes, well, Anya and Maisie are in joint second on ten,
41:02but in the lead with 14 points is Rhys!
41:08OK, please, stay right where you are
41:11for the final task of the show!
41:23Hello, everyone.
41:24Hello.
41:25Alex, who's going to read the task?
41:27Maisie's going to read the task.
41:29Please, Maisie.
41:32Guess how many things the taskmaster's assistant has on him.
41:36Worst answer is eliminated.
41:39But there is a bonus of five actual points
41:41if you are exactly ten out at any time.
41:45Last player standing wins.
41:48What?
41:49What?
41:51Alex, shall we explain it?
41:52Yes, there's going to be four rounds.
41:53I'm going to go behind that screen and come out with some things.
41:57You've got to work out or guess how many of those things I've got on me.
42:01Right. OK.
42:02Ten away at any point.
42:03You get five genuine points for the actual show.
42:06Oh!
42:07Are you ready for round?
42:08Oh, hello, Sandy.
42:09Sorry, yes.
42:10I may have a nap during this.
42:13Unfortunately, Sandy, even if you're out,
42:14you do have to carry on in case you get this bonus.
42:16Ah.
42:17I know.
42:18Tricky.
42:19First, Greg, would you like me to go behind the screen?
42:21Go behind the screen!
42:22It's time for round one.
42:24OK.
42:26The first category.
42:27How many babies has Alex got on him?
42:33Can Alex spin around?
42:35Alex can't spin around holding babies.
42:39Reveal your baby guesses.
42:4214, 13, 16, 3, 12.
42:45I can tell you that none of you are ten above.
42:48I will now reveal the number of babies that Alex has on him.
42:53Five!
42:54Oh!
42:55Oh!
42:58Are you so close?
43:00I'm afraid, Phil.
43:01Oh!
43:02You were the furthest away.
43:03What an emotional rollercoaster!
43:05And so Phil is eliminated!
43:07Oh!
43:11And will you hold a baby to show you're out?
43:13Of course I won't!
43:15Round two, the category is...
43:18Forks!
43:20Oh!
43:21Oh, God.
43:22Please guess the amount of forks that Alex has on him, starting now.
43:28Phil, you can still guess.
43:29I'm all right.
43:31But you get five bonus points.
43:32Oh, don't do it!
43:34Oh, God!
43:35I didn't listen.
43:37Please reveal your fork scores now.
43:41We have 23, 13, 18, 16 and 60 from Sanjeev.
43:456-0?
43:46Oh, you've been asleep.
43:48I forgot.
43:49I can tell you that no-one has gone exactly ten away.
43:52No-one.
43:53Exactly ten away from the fork count.
43:55There are 15 forks on the tray.
43:57Oh!
43:5815?
43:59But what's under the cloche, Sanjeev?
44:00Oh.
44:02Could there be 35 forks under here, Sanjeev?
44:06Or 45.
44:07OK.
44:08LAUGHTER
44:12Margo!
44:14Sanjeev, you're eliminated.
44:15There are only 15 forks.
44:17Excellent.
44:18Sanjeev's eliminated!
44:19Please tell them that you've been enjoying this.
44:21You all right?
44:22You all right?
44:23Yes, we're not sure, Sanjeev.
44:25The crush key for round three is...
44:27Belts!
44:28Belts?
44:29Oh.
44:30Oh, dear.
44:31How many belts does he have?
44:34Oh, this is...
44:35How were we meant to now?
44:36LAUGHTER
44:39You're not meant to know, Rhys.
44:40Stop belting!
44:41Please reveal your belt answers.
44:463, 0, 5, 4, 14.
44:48OK.
44:49I'll crack straight in and tell you that no-one has got the bonus five points.
44:52No-one is exactly ten away.
44:54And I can reveal the amount of belts Alex has on is...
44:59Whoa!
45:00Only one belt!
45:01It's big, but it's a karate belt.
45:05Rhys is eliminated!
45:06APPLAUSE
45:14Just like you threw me away.
45:21The final round.
45:22Yes.
45:23Final round.
45:24The big one.
45:25The big one?
45:26Bergs!
45:27BFF.
45:28BFF!
45:34How many birds does Alex have?
45:35BFF.
45:37BFF!
45:38BFF!
45:39Please reveal your bird counts.
45:42Someone here...
45:44..has got exactly ten away.
45:46BFF!
45:47BFF!
45:48You get a sweet five points.
45:52Because there are four birds and olives.
45:55Rhys takes five points.
45:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:03And so, Anya wins the task.
46:05Oh, you also get five points.
46:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:09What a rush.
46:19Wow, it was almost too mysterious.
46:22Oh, my God. The adrenaline was...
46:25The adrenaline was coursing through my veins.
46:27Well, Phil was the worst of it, he gets one point.
46:29Sanjeev got two points, Maisie four, Anya five.
46:32But Rhys, he grabbed the bonus five points,
46:34so he gets a total of eight points.
46:36Well done, Rhys.
46:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:40Scoreboard?
46:41Yes.
46:42Well, it means that in joint last place,
46:44it's Phil and Sanjeev on nine,
46:45but with a huge 22 points,
46:47the winner is Rhys Shearsmith!
46:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:51Rhys Shearsmith has won!
46:54Please head to the stage and claim your things
46:56that are hard to explain!
47:00It's Rhys!
47:07And Rhys!
47:08Thanks for joining us!
47:09More!
47:10We've been living in the summer for a while!
47:11Be sure to join us!
47:12We've been listening!
47:13We've been listening to you,
47:15I'm the High School of Enemies!
47:16We've been listening to you...
47:17We've been listening to you.
47:18We've been listening to you.
47:19We'll do this.
47:20We've been following you!
47:21I'm the High School of Enemies!
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