Alan Partridge - Christmas Ramble - video Dailymotion

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00:00Hi, I'm Alan Partridge. I'm a busy man. One day I can be recording a TV show, the next I can be

00:10shuttling up to Harrogate to host a Get Motivated weekend for the Bostick Salesforce. But when I go

00:16back to Norwich, I like to relax by rambling. I switch off my mobile phone, put my pager on mute

00:21and enjoy the stillness of the Norfolk countryside. I always like to go for a walk on Christmas

00:29morning for two to three hours alone. I do ask the others, my wife Carol, son Fernando, he's at

00:35Cambridge, and Denise, but they always make their excuses. It's as if they know that I, Alan Partridge,

00:41require solitude. So I hop in the car and pop along the A47 to Swatham. Swatham was our stalking ground

00:49when we were young. We'd all pile into the back of a friend's mustard-coloured triumph dolomite,

00:55and we'd head over to Swatham and have a picnic and then drive home again. Great days. I'm not just

01:04Swatham. I don't want Swatham to get all the credit. It was the whole area. I'm talking about North

01:07Pickenham, Necton, Great Palgrave, Spall. We even went as far as East Walton. I mean, there was no

01:14stopping us. There's a caravan site there now. So it's quite a good one. It's not gypsies. I mean,

01:20it's proper toilets and proper amenities. We're actually on the grounds of Mike Oldfield's

01:31country estate. We're not actually on his ground. This is common ground. That's Mr. Oldfield's

01:37over there. Hergist Ridge, name of one of his albums. We did ask Mr. Oldfield if we could

01:41film there, but he said, being Christmas, he'd wanted a bit of privacy. It's understandable.

01:46Would have been nice, you know. A bit small-minded, really. A bit nasty. Anyway, on with the ramble.

01:53Can't go over there. I'll go over there.

01:56Oldfield hosts a celebrity clay pigeon shoot every Christmas. He invites around Paul Eddington,

02:02Adam Faith, Danny Baker, Moira Stewart, Edward Heath, and Mr. Motivator.

02:07And Francis Rossi of Status Quo.

02:17That was my watch.

02:19I just lost my blimey watch.

02:23Ha!

02:27Actually, keep that bit in. It's nice. I think it gives it a human touch. Nice. Keep it in.

02:32I used to come here as a child on my own. I would skim stones. On one occasion, I hit

02:40a duck, and it disappeared beneath the water. To this day, I don't know whether it was dead

02:44or just badly concussed. I love birds, and I like to come here and make bird noises.

02:50I'm no Dr. Doolittle, but there are times when I think birds are the only ones I can really talk to.

03:10Maybe that's because I'm a partridge. Alan Partridge.

03:13Someone should clean up these leaves.

03:23In the same way I'm having a Christmas ramble, 2,000 years ago, the Holy Family had a ramble

03:28from Nazareth to Bethlehem, in much the same way that I'm having a ramble from Norwich to Swatham.

03:35Although I'm not comparing myself with Jesus. I don't want to get bogged down in that whole

03:39controversy again. Right? So I'm not Jesus. I want to make that absolutely clear. Right?

03:45I am not Jesus.

03:48It's beautiful here. The nearest shop is over two miles away, which is a problem.

03:54Somebody suggested building a small snack bar, but there was a meeting at Swatham Village Hall,

03:59and the planning people said it would spoil the beauty of the area.

04:02So I suggested a compromise, which was to be a series of vending machines placed in hedges.

04:09It could give out Kit Kats, Mars bars, chunky soup, slices of ham, five-a-lives,

04:13but they voted it down, so you've just got to come prepared.

04:17I pack a finger of fudge, about the size of a slim panatella.

04:21I used to come here when I was at East Anglia Polytechnic.

04:27It weren't particularly happy days, but I'd come down here on my own,

04:32transistor, sing my favourite pop songs.

04:37I'm a one-man band

04:39Nobody seems to understand

04:43Is there anybody out there who'll lend me a hand

04:48I'm a one-man band

04:51Thank you for joining me on a Christmas ramble with Anna Portridge.

04:58I'm going to go back to my wife now. Thank you. Bye-bye.

05:00Bye-bye.

Alan Partridge - Christmas Ramble

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