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Gogglebox Season 26 Episode 6
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FunTranscript
00:00Oh.
00:01It's a lot of old pants.
00:03Oh, yes.
00:04And when we say we have some pants,
00:06I've got older pants older than you.
00:09That's attractive, darling.
00:10Those are a no.
00:11You're not taking pants out.
00:13These are a no.
00:15They look wider at the bottom
00:17than they are at the top.
00:19Did I have a very big arse, then?
00:21Must have done.
00:22I mean, these...
00:23Oh, what's happened to those?
00:25Oh.
00:26That's a no.
00:27That must have been an accident.
00:28Been of some sort.
00:30Yes!
00:33Ooh.
00:34Happy days.
00:35Oh, Daniella, I like this.
00:36He's gone and done and did it.
00:38I don't trust him because he's teetotal.
00:39Oh, no.
00:40No.
00:41Cryptic that in there.
00:42Convoluted that.
00:43Oh.
00:44Oh, no, no.
00:45What a waste of a muffin.
00:47Oh.
00:48Oh.
00:49What's that?
00:50Unacceptable.
00:51Yeah.
00:52Oh.
00:53Nah, nah, nah.
00:54What the hell?
00:55Is that it?
00:56It's not much evidence of man boob.
00:58It's a tough day to be a fish.
01:00Oh.
01:01Oh, no.
01:02Oh, he's a badger.
01:03He is.
01:04He's a badger.
01:05Oh, man.
01:06He's got one in and one out.
01:07It's the kind of trash I adore.
01:09Was that good for you or was it was for me?
01:11In the week we bid a fond farewell to naughty novelist Dame Julie Cooper, we enjoyed lots
01:18of great telly.
01:20More people were matching through a wall on Netflix.
01:24I love you.
01:25I love you too.
01:26I just think it's so crazy how much I love you already.
01:30Yeah.
01:31You do have to have a bit of a sexual attraction to somebody.
01:34I mean, I don't know what our sexual attraction was to each other, but there has to be something
01:39there.
01:40It's a desperation.
01:41No.
01:42I was pretty desperate.
01:51The twists and turns on the cobbles were catching up with the Websters on ITV1.
01:56I know how you feel, but this is important to me.
01:58Important enough to kill the vibe.
02:00Look, we've got to show the boys that me and Abby can still be friends regardless.
02:05Kevin was always punching with Abby, though.
02:08I never understood that couple.
02:09I know Kevin has got a raw animal magnetism to him, but that was when he had his moustache
02:15years ago.
02:16He is handsome, isn't he?
02:17He was.
02:18Yeah, that moustache and the overalls.
02:20Not one car got fixed.
02:21Not one.
02:22But many women did.
02:23Yeah.
02:24And they all kicked off in the thrilling conclusion of the girlfriend on Prime Video.
02:30What did you tell him?
02:33He knows everything, Cherry.
02:35He's leaving you.
02:37You should just go home and see for yourself.
02:39He's packed his bags and he doesn't want to spend another moment with you.
02:42Drop the axe, Laura.
02:43Over-possessive mothers who regard the girlfriend as that woman are a danger to their sons, Mary.
02:51Don't forget you sent me to a psychotherapist, so I talked a lot of these ideas through.
02:55But your mother wasn't over-possessive, was she?
02:58Well, I like to think I was the centre of a tug of love.
03:01But in fact, neither of you like me that much.
03:04In the end, that's what we analysed.
03:06In North London.
03:15Amani, is it just me or is my eyebrows not symmetrical at all?
03:19All right, let me see.
03:21Sisters Amira and Amani.
03:23Why is that one so arched compared to that one?
03:26Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
03:27So, that's why I was doing this the whole time.
03:30The whole day, I've just been doing this.
03:32But how does that help?
03:34Because then it looks more even, doesn't it?
03:36No, it doesn't, because then if you raise that one on its own,
03:38it looks even higher than it was before.
03:41No, wait, I was doing this.
03:43Like that.
03:45Yeah, because that looks normal.
03:46You're going to stay like that the whole time.
03:48Well, the lady who was doing my eyebrows messed up so bad,
03:52she massacred my eyebrows, literally.
03:55Like, when I told you I was about to walk out of there like this.
04:00On Wednesday night,
04:01it was celebrity cloaks at the ready on BBC One.
04:05They've been teasing us for months, about months.
04:09We've known who's going on it
04:11and we've had to wait until October for it to come on the telly.
04:15OMG, this is so exciting.
04:17Celebrity traitors.
04:20Are you not interested?
04:22I'm glad that you are, Mary.
04:24Nineteen celebrities have been invited
04:26to play the ultimate psychological game of deception.
04:31Ear-ups.
04:32I've seen at least three that I know.
04:36Jonathan Ross.
04:37I'm here to win.
04:38Senior Emery.
04:39Top of the range.
04:41I don't know what beasts lie within me.
04:43Stephen Fry.
04:44You've not got a tattoo for Stephen Fry.
04:46Stephen Fry tattoo.
04:47Yeah.
04:48Well, he's got a younger boyfriend as well.
04:49He has got a younger boyfriend.
04:50Younger husband.
04:51Maybe I have got a dark side.
04:52Oh!
04:53Alan Carr!
04:54I love how Alan Carr's saying that he's got a dark side.
04:58I bet he hasn't.
04:59Literally probably the nicest person in the world.
05:02No!
05:05Celebrity traitors, bring it on!
05:08Chris, what are you doing?
05:10I'm getting in the mood.
05:11Well, you look like a right dick.
05:13Well, alright.
05:15Welcome to the round table.
05:18Ooh!
05:19I need you to look at each other.
05:20Yes.
05:21Oh, I wouldn't.
05:22And properly look at each other.
05:27As everything is about to change, your fate in the game is going to be decided.
05:35Whoa!
05:36Oh, Alan looks a bit nervy.
05:38Look at him!
05:39He cracks me up.
05:41It's just his face.
05:42I'm about to select my traitors.
05:45Don't smile, don't smile, don't smile.
05:47Cos if she puts her hand on you, it's game over if you smile.
05:50I think that's alright.
05:51I don't think I'd ever wash the piece of clothing.
05:53Please, put on your blindfolds.
05:55Oh, golly.
05:56When I had that mask on.
05:57Oh, I don't want to know, Jenny.
05:59No.
06:00I don't want to know about you being blindfolded, please.
06:02I won't get the image out of my head.
06:03If you feel me touch you on the shoulder...
06:06Report it!
06:07Oh, sorry.
06:08That means that you are a traitor.
06:11I'd go to a person next to me.
06:13Yeah, imagine.
06:14Just reaching there.
06:16So then they think they're a traitor, but they're not.
06:25Oh, Jonathan Ross is a traitor.
06:28I think that's a good one.
06:29Jonathan's loving that.
06:30Jonathan Ross is a good one.
06:32Who's next?
06:36Oh, Kat.
06:37Let's go.
06:38Mm-hmm.
06:41Go on.
06:42Please choose Alan.
06:43Please.
06:47She's gone for Alan!
06:48Oh, my God!
06:51Look at his face!
06:52He's already smirking.
06:54I feel sick.
06:56What am I going to do?
06:57I'll tell you something.
06:58I think I would, too.
07:00Yeah.
07:01How's he going to handle this?
07:02It's a big responsibility, being a traitor.
07:05You've got to have a real nasty mind.
07:07Please remove your blindfolds.
07:10Let's see Alan's face.
07:12Let's see if they give it away.
07:13Alan can't look at no-one.
07:14It's not me.
07:15It's not me.
07:16It's not me.
07:17It's not me.
07:18With the traitors having been chosen, it wasn't long until they discovered their first murderous task.
07:30Oh, no!
07:31What's that letter about?
07:32Traitors.
07:33Tonight, you must murder in plain sight.
07:34In plain sight?
07:35God, they're not messing about, are they?
07:36Straight in there.
07:37To do this, you must find the poisoned black lily somewhere in the castle.
07:50What?
07:51Ooh.
07:52Rub your hands with the poisoned pollen and touch the face of the faithful you want to murder.
08:01Oh, my goodness gracious.
08:03That's evil.
08:04That's horrible.
08:05Oh, my God.
08:06That is going to be borderline impossible.
08:08How do you touch somebody's face?
08:09Poisoned black lily.
08:11I've seen a black lily in the bar.
08:14Oh!
08:15He spotted it!
08:16He spotted that on the blue chinoiserie.
08:19We'll have to get one here.
08:20I'll get a black lily out there.
08:22I got the chance to talk to my fellow traitors very briefly in the kitchen, which was quite terrifying.
08:26Oh, it's just them left.
08:28Oh, they're on their own now, love.
08:29Oh, this is a good chance, all three of them.
08:31What?
08:32Quick, quick, quick.
08:33No, Alan, please shut up.
08:35Please be quiet.
08:36Oh, God, anyone can walk in any moment.
08:38OK, I think the best person to it, and I'm not throwing you on the bus, is you.
08:42I think you could turn someone's face with that and be scary.
08:45Exactly, Jonathan.
08:47I've just thrown Alan under the bus.
08:49Yes!
08:52Shall we leave you to it?
08:53Shall we leave you to it?
08:54Just pass the buck, that's fine.
08:56I can't believe they've left me to it.
08:58Get it together, Alan!
09:00Don't walk in slow motion, Alan.
09:02I can't watch, man.
09:03I have people that I want to kill.
09:05Come on, touch the flower.
09:07Touch the flower.
09:08It's the touching the face that is the problem.
09:11Whose face is he going to touch?
09:13Don't you dare get rid of Claire Balden or Charlotte Church.
09:17Or Paloma Faith.
09:18How the hell am I going to do this?
09:24Oh, what's he doing?
09:25Oh, what's he doing?
09:26How much is he putting on?
09:27LAUGHTER
09:28Oh, frickin' hell.
09:39Who did he get?
09:40I'd love to be squawking about in a big black cloak.
09:43A BBC.
09:45LAUGHTER
09:46Big black cloak.
09:48LAUGHTER
09:49Type that in on Google.
09:51LAUGHTER
09:56Me and Nat have set a day aside this weekend
09:58to build my chicken run extension.
10:01It needs sorting, like, ASAP.
10:03Why?
10:04Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
10:06The chickens can't access the shed at the minute
10:08because where I need to put the door
10:11is in my chicken extension.
10:13So the chickens are just sleeping in the chicken run
10:15at the minute.
10:16And then, basically, the chicks that are in Nesra's bedroom
10:19that stink, I want to put them in the hutch,
10:21which is in the run,
10:22but I can't put the chicks in the hutch in the run
10:25until the chickens have moved into the shed.
10:30So...
10:31What have you just said?
10:33He's...
10:36On Wednesday night, the saga continued in Weatherfield on ITV.
10:41Now, brace yourself, I've got a bit of bad news for you.
10:43What?
10:44Kevin and Abby have broken up.
10:46But Kevin doesn't know about the affair.
10:48However, Kevin's sister, Debbie,
10:51she knows about the affair
10:53because she caught him doing the beach with two bucks
10:55in the hotel that she owns.
10:56Talk about shitting on your own doorstep.
10:58It's a shame, really, because Abby was on to a good thing with Kevin, wasn't she?
11:06Yeah.
11:07I mean, I know it was a bit, you know, dull and boring,
11:10but she had a nice, steady life.
11:12She did.
11:13Nothing wrong with dull and boring, is the love?
11:15No.
11:16Right, are we all here?
11:17Come on, come on, sit down, sit down.
11:19In the programme, we saw Kevin and his family gathered
11:22at a birthday bash in the Bistro.
11:24Mm.
11:25Make it here doing a grinder drive, man.
11:27Of course, she's sat next to Carl, the filthy trollop.
11:31You can't hurry perfection.
11:33Ah, here he is.
11:35And do you remember, Carl actually added on with him and all.
11:38Oh, my God, yeah!
11:40Mm-hm.
11:41Oh, you've drawn the short straw.
11:44Sorry.
11:45HE LAUGHS
11:48Does Debbie know that he's been with him and all?
11:50No.
11:51No, she doesn't know.
11:52Nobody knows about that one.
11:58Carl's like, fucking hell.
12:00He will not shag around this table.
12:02Now, before you say anything,
12:04this was meant to be a family celebration.
12:08Go on, Debs, give it up.
12:10I love Carl.
12:11And Carl loves me.
12:12No, he doesn't!
12:13Go and ask James!
12:15Carl loves intercourse.
12:17HE LAUGHS
12:18That's what I know.
12:19I think she's going to say something.
12:25Oh, she looks a bit evil now, doesn't she?
12:27She's going to say something, Lee.
12:28I tell you not, she's not going to keep her mouth shut.
12:34Parker, now why don't you sit on his knee?
12:36She might as well have.
12:37You're being naive, Kev.
12:39You need to get lawyered up.
12:41Get lawyered up.
12:42It's about her.
12:46HE LAUGHS
12:47Look at her and she's like,
12:48why would they do that?
12:50That would never happen.
12:51It's about her.
12:52Slagging her off and then just make direct eye contact.
12:56It's about her.
12:57HE LAUGHS
12:59She's got a very nasty streak in her.
13:03I've seen it.
13:04Oh!
13:05She'll be thinking.
13:06She's telling him.
13:07Yeah, she will.
13:08And before you say anything...
13:10Yes, I know.
13:12Kev knows about us!
13:13No, he doesn't!
13:14Abi's jumped the gun a little bit there, hasn't she?
13:16Yeah, she has.
13:20She will grab...
13:21She sent it to Kev, her husband.
13:23Oh, no!
13:24You can delete it, though.
13:25You can delete.
13:26No, you don't.
13:28Because if she gets a share of your house...
13:31Aw, Kev's phone's just gone off.
13:34He hasn't picked his phone up yet, have you?
13:36We need to get Kev's phone.
13:37It's too late if Debbie's already told him.
13:39No, it looked like she was telling him, but if she hasn't,
13:41we need to delete that message.
13:42For fuck's sake.
13:43Abi!
13:44How are you gonna do that?
13:50Oh, hang on.
13:51He's doing it.
13:55Deleted.
13:56That was a close call.
13:57That was easy.
13:58I knew it were gonna be too good to be true.
13:59They're dragging this on now.
14:00I need it to come out.
14:02Sorry, whose is this?
14:03It's not mine, is it?
14:04What?
14:05You've not broke it.
14:06Chill out.
14:07You've not broke it.
14:08He gets that angry when he thinks his phone's broken.
14:12Imagine what he's gonna be like when he finds out
14:14that his brother's been diddling his ex.
14:16Happy birthday to you.
14:19Does he get messages on the phone?
14:21Happy birthday to you.
14:22Oh, does he get the messages on his iPad as well?
14:24That's a bit rude.
14:25That Kev's got his iPad out of the table.
14:27Happy birthday to you.
14:29He knows about us.
14:30Oh, he's read it, he's read it.
14:32Fuck!
14:33Oh, no.
14:35Hey, the cake!
14:38Not the cake!
14:39Ronnie's birthday cake's been flawed.
14:41Please, can we talk about...
14:42Don't block me!
14:43Oh!
14:44Oh!
14:45Go on, Kevin!
14:46I didn't know I fucking kicked.
14:47Go on, Kevin!
14:48Get off me!
14:49I hope you're having with yourself now!
14:51Debbie's got a fork.
14:52Watch it, everyone.
14:53Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
14:54You need to leave home calling the police.
14:56Oh, shut up, Nick.
14:57Let him have it.
14:58Kevin's getting kicked out.
14:59He's not even...
15:00Kevin's been cheated on by his wife and brother.
15:05And he's the one getting his collar felt.
15:07Don't worry.
15:08I'm going.
15:09Oh, crikey, I can't cope with it.
15:11Gonna rip the family apart.
15:12My advice to Kevin will be get back on the horse, son.
15:15Yeah.
15:16Go for somebody younger and buy a sports car.
15:18That's right.
15:19If you can't afford the sports car,
15:21take one of the ones out that you've got in for an MOT.
15:23Yes!
15:32In Glasgow...
15:33The other morning, right,
15:34I love going for a breakfast roll when I get to work.
15:37Ordered the usual.
15:38Tati scone, eggs, link sausage, tripler.
15:42Best mates Jake and Callum.
15:45Lady turns around, straight into the deep fat fryer,
15:48puts everything in there,
15:49whacks it on a roll, doesn't think anything of it.
15:51Why would you?
15:52Mental.
15:53How's that mental?
15:54To deep fry everything, isn't it?
15:56That is good service.
15:58That's unbelievable.
15:59I don't mind like a deep fried Mars bar every now and then,
16:02but that's crazy.
16:04I would eat anything deep fried.
16:06Have you ever had a deep fried pizza?
16:07Pizza crunch?
16:08That's a pizza crunch.
16:09There you go.
16:10Absolute classic.
16:11Everything can be deep fried and tastes good.
16:12Not everything should be deep fried.
16:13I would deep fry a slippery bit.
16:15That's dreadful.
16:17This week, Netflix was asking more desperate singletons to stop being so shallow.
16:24I think a personality is much more important.
16:27I mean, my husband was what wasn't really an oil painting,
16:30but he was very clever and very funny and great to live with.
16:35I remember the first time I saw you.
16:36I don't think none does.
16:43Do you know what I love when people go to me?
16:45You're punching above your weight.
16:46And I'm like, well, yes, because I'm not going to get with a fucking minger, am I?
16:53In the programme, we caught up with Patrick,
16:56who'd been talking to Casey through the war.
16:59I just couldn't have asked for a better partner.
17:01Casey's just amazing.
17:02She's just the person I've been waiting for for my whole life.
17:06Patrick and Casey, they've been, like, hitting it off so well.
17:09They're definitely a power couple.
17:11You know what, though, if you were 30-year-old?
17:13I probably would just settle for...
17:15Anything.
17:16Anything.
17:17I'm so excited to get to meet Patrick, finally.
17:21Oh, my God, she's stunning.
17:23That is going to be the biggest rush of my entire life.
17:26This is not going to work.
17:31The only thing I'm nervous about is, like, how too perfect it's going to be.
17:34I feel like Patrick's put a bit of a jinx on this, to be fair.
17:37Oh, God, I hate it when they get so excited.
17:40Something's going to go wrong.
17:42I've always just been so look-face heavy.
17:45Oh, my God.
17:46Oh, no.
17:47But I'm so pumped to touch him.
17:50Oh, wow.
17:51Okay.
17:52Lucky him.
17:55Let's see.
17:56Here we go.
17:59Hi.
18:00Hi.
18:02How are you?
18:03That's not bad.
18:04He looks happy.
18:05He looks like, yes, this is a nice one.
18:07Casey, what is that?
18:09Oh, no.
18:10I don't think she's sure.
18:13Oh.
18:14Oh.
18:17I like the juice.
18:19I'm getting better.
18:20I'm getting better.
18:25I'm amazing.
18:27Oh, my God.
18:28That's snowing already.
18:29Hey.
18:30Oh.
18:31Oh, that was a nice greeting.
18:33Wow.
18:34I got to know her on a really deep while I'm super excited.
18:36I love her.
18:37We're going to have the most beautiful baby you've ever seen.
18:39Hey.
18:40He's moving fast.
18:41Wow.
18:42Fucking hell, Patrick, right?
18:43Fucking throw a bucket of water.
18:44Roll the past picture, buddy.
18:47Oh, no.
18:48I love you.
18:49I love you.
18:50The woman's hotel.
18:51This is where all the tea is going to be spilled.
18:54He deserves somebody better than me.
18:58Oh, my God.
18:59Oh, no.
19:00Oh, no.
19:01Oh, bloody chestnut.
19:02Oh, the classic is not you, it's me.
19:04Oh, that one before me.
19:06that one before me oh no I can't bear it
19:16I love you so much what well you don't as a friend
19:22what's she getting him in headlock for oh dear he's not a bad-looking guy in any
19:32sense bolts but he deserves somebody that is so what in his own league
19:43obsessed with them and she's obsessed with it yeah no yeah no yeah no she can't
19:52bring yourself to say look I thought I loved you because we got on well when I
19:56didn't see your face but now I've seen you I don't fancy it now I've seen your
20:00face they're like me thinking about or like ask me if it's anything to do with
20:04what you look like because that's exactly what it is it was like I'm gonna break his
20:13heart and that's just not what I want you're not gonna break my heart to not go
20:18to Baja she's trying to break up with him so softly that he's not getting it I've
20:21been here a million times I know exactly that feeling they make zero sense you
20:26leave you probably I will probably be all right yeah you're not no still feel
20:30good about her I mean I don't I think I think we'll probably take it slow with
20:36her whoa there's no slow is done I think he's took it real well it don't know yet
20:43you silly bastard what do you mean he still thinks she wants to be with him did
20:47she give you she said she needed to get home is that what she told you guys poor
20:54Patrick Patrick you're still not clear have you ever broke up with someone yeah
21:01someone ever broke up with you yeah yeah both yeah man oh cool yeah I mean I
21:08think I've ever been broken up with I can't even think no way you've never
21:12broken up with someone uh that is one of the most horrible feelings in the world
21:17especially like that if you've got if you care about them it's awful think
21:22minds have always been mutual or them or I've just thought they're mutual
21:27in Blackpool I love how you're just like full-on gym person now I'm a gym rat yeah
21:37yeah the rat oh my gosh Pete and his little sister Sophie my step machine was out in the
21:44kitchen last night so I could hit my steps target love how you say step machine the
21:48fucking floor mounted whatever it is step machine yeah treadmill whatever you want
21:55to call it it's got two drinks holders I mean I don't know what I suppose one's for
22:00water one's for maybe like a G&T or something low calorie so it's a skinny
22:05bitch a bit like myself
22:10just without the skinny this week our favorite mother versus daughter-in-law
22:18drama stepped up a gear on prime video you never fancied one of your mates mums no
22:24comment no comment I've fancied most of my mates
22:29it's the final Simon you ready I don't really know sad I'm only I've never been on Laura's side
22:37because I've allowed I am oh you would be I would because I've got a son yeah but you
22:41won't be like that we are Mac I would if I thought she was a wrong one no you would
22:45no you wouldn't I'm on cherry sir oh you would because she's a bitch
22:50suspicious of her son's girlfriend Cherry's intentions Laura tried to find out more about
22:58from Cherry's mom I don't understand why do you protect her because she's a daughter when she
23:06has a side set on something you better know it's a fear or god help you oh my god she's recorded it
23:12you've seen yourself Laura you see I've been no good at doing that because I push it and it's a the
23:19Apple Tower is situated in Paris I know you don't want to speak to me but this is urgent that's it
23:26she's gonna tell Daniel everything now I'm sorry we're here for this
23:30hang on who's there don't tell me it's Cherry oh fuck I spoke to Cherry's mother I'm not here to
23:50listen I'm here to tell you that I'm done done with what though done with his mom he's a lunatic yeah
23:57sauce cherry though you two are never allowed to say that to me by the way but we're done no like
24:01ever he couldn't let me have the one thing I actually wanted for myself he doesn't want to
24:06hear it he does not want to hear it no he's not gonna hear it um buddy will you just stay with me
24:12for five minutes let's have a proper goodbye what's she up to she's got plans she is she's
24:18planning something just have a drink with me please alarm bells are ringing with me Mary honey I just
24:25want to thank you so much that's a Macallan she's got taste really your happiness she's drugging him
24:33she's drugging him say you have a drink with me and drugging your own son and then do what with him
24:38oh my god he's drinking it what's happening I need you to hear this one thing yeah yes listen
24:51Daniel here we go she's drugged him so he'll listen to advice now she didn't have to drug him she could
24:56have just played it security alert someone is in the garden someone is in the garden I bet it's cherry oh
25:04there's a pair of stilettos and the doors wide open where's Daniel oh cherry she's in remember she
25:16she don't play where is he he's not here this is like Batman versus Superman kind of shit you have
25:23a violent nature cherry don't get too close Laura Laura shut up leave or I'm calling the police right
25:29now you're fucking oh oh let's go Jerry look at her face this is all your fault you've driven me to
25:50this oh my god my mother was quite accepting of you Mary oh my god shit shit shit in the pool in the
26:04pool oh my god some you just tell me when it's over now I can't bear all this oh my god Daniel
26:13I can't believe he's holding his own mother under now he doesn't know what he's doing he's still
26:34deranged yeah on the tablets exactly stop stop right oh my days oh we've killed her oh shit a brick man
26:54did not see that coming no not at all
26:58oh she's having a baby she's pregnant what we lost fella
27:08what is it I know what it is oh oh oh god he's gonna find out Daniel this is for you oh no you want to
27:26know about cherry it's the recording let me tell you about my daughter oh I don't don't wanna know
27:33when she has a side set on something you better not interfere or god help you oh wow so you tell
27:40your son don't be fooled by the good times oh bad times will come sooner or later she'll want something
27:48from you that you're not prepared to give oh no
27:51she'll find a way to get rid of you oh no you're having a laugh I hate endings like that we don't
28:10know what there has to be another series it makes me laugh this this program because like my life's a
28:16complete opposite you know if anything it's me getting ostracized out of yeah it's now a triangle
28:23triangle of you page and mum I'm on I'm on the outside
28:29in Wiltshire vegetables would be inedible without salt I know basically food was horrible before
28:42sugar and salt Giles and his wife Mary people just ate it for fuel but there was no pleasure to be had
28:50before sugar and salt canary islanders nutty when they grew potatoes yeah they have this thing they
28:56put the new potatoes and they boil it in sea water yeah it's called papath look at my mouth papath
29:03I don't want you to do it I can't speak I can this is the only thing I know about the canary island but
29:11I don't want to see your mouth no papath ever gather that's horrible Giles why would you want me to see
29:16it's like me saying watch me going to the loo oh Mary why would you want me to look at your mouth
29:22while you're saying a foreign word on Friday night there was more action for the air ambulance on the
29:30really channel I should have really contacted the air ambulance when I dislocated my knee at that handy
29:35well it's a paid your fucking two-hour trip each way this is Yorkshire air 999 I remember being
29:44stung by a wasp when you rang 999 an allergy and I caused a real fuss and it was really embarrassing
29:52and they came out because I said I thought I was having an amaphylactic shock and by the time they
29:55got to I was absolutely fine the drama queen was at it again paramedic Mattie is on the air desk
30:02listening in to a 999 call oh here we go here we go I turned my tractor over and I'm underneath it
30:10oh dear what damn oh that is savage and have you lost any blood I can't see because my arm is under
30:19the wheel oh fuck his arms under the wheel that sounds bad it's very Yorkshire though isn't it
30:24there's no panic I've turned my tractor over and my arm's underneath the wheel it's off yeah
30:29yeah we've landed about 50 yards away Mattie and I'm just making my way to see now oh there he is
30:35is that him oh god the poor sod hello we're coming to help you okay buddy what the fuck oh look at him
30:44oh my god my whole arm is underneath it yeah I can see that here am I have you got any pain anywhere
30:50else not medical terms proper Yorkshire that into it it's buggered they make them different than
30:57Yorkshire tell you they really do man this guy is doing Yorkshire proud I'm gonna try and get in
31:01man give you an assessment is that all right I love how mate he's literally just been resting on the
31:05tractor as if it needs more weight yeah yeah just have a fucking lean on it put a bit more weight on
31:10my arm so we're gonna give you some medication Steve thank you yeah oh I'll be asking for all the
31:16good shit and we'll just start you on some paracetamol I think paracetamol might be a
31:20little weak give him some ketamine and then we can top you up with a bit of morphine oh here we go
31:25oh shit a brickler this is I'm on or off on no I know oh is it with only a few inches of space
31:40Wayne and the team are pulling Steve out from under the tractor's mudguard they've got him out
31:45they've got him out I've never seen a tractor give birth to an adult man thank you very much
31:52everybody thank you very much he's morphined off his tits now though the tractor involved a dear old
31:59massive Ferguson 35 is that him I tell you what I barely recognize him without a tractor on top of it
32:04yes he's in a barn currently being repaired as much as I'm fond of it I think it's going to be
32:10up for sale because it's actually in remarkable condition he's in remarkable condition he's never
32:16been in an accident
32:17in Kent is Jake a man Jake you're a man now I have turned 18 which means I am a man
32:28Michael Sally and their sons Jake and Harry my first ever beer was on Wednesday is that when we
32:35went to the pub and you ordered some drinks and then what happened I made them look at my ID
32:39because they weren't going to ask you madam please look at my ID yeah and who paid for the round of
32:45drinks oh you did because my birthday would you mean to stop paying for any drinks my own birthday
32:48I just thought as a moment for a dad goes out with his son is that one of those rites of
32:54passage moments where a son buys his dad a pint as I said before just because I got older does not
33:02mean my financial situation has changed that hasn't changed since you were four that's also true
33:07on Saturday it was the meeting of mind and machine that made the news on the BBC oh the triple axel
33:18do you just like sit around practicing them practicing what just flipping around no man I'm
33:23just the flipper you snooze you lose so watch the news are you having a laugh a technology company in
33:32Switzerland says it's made synthetic brain cells that can survive for months and respond to basic
33:38keyboard commands Jake there's hope for you you put your brain cell in a keyboard
33:44final spark says it wants to use the so-called organoids to power a computer
33:50organoids they sound quite evil don't they oh yeah yeah we are the organoids
33:55replacing the silicon technology we use today that's another job gone at Tesco silicon is just your standard
34:02stuff isn't it your process yes yeah it's all the stuff that the tech is made from at the moment so
34:07your computer chips inside this lab a whole new way of building computers is being trialed right
34:14wetware is a relatively new field of science wetware wetware what is wetware if you run wet brain cells
34:22with electricity and you're gonna blow yourself up you would Julie which involves taking organic matter
34:28like brain cells where do they get them from then and trying to create a bio computer out of them
34:34don't be messing with this shit man no no the world is changing too quickly I'm going to have to move to
34:40the Isle of Manor somewhere the human brain has tens of billions of neurons or brain cells which can
34:47connect and then talk to each other it's how we learn scientists here want their lab-grown brain cells
34:53to eventually do the same thing well they're looking at nature to sort out a more efficient
34:58computer I don't want my brain merging with the computer if you had a brain you'd be dangerous
35:03it'd be windows 95 first skin cells are turned into stem cells skin cells which several months later
35:12become clusters of neurons known as brain organoids so wait sorry so your skin cells yeah become stem cells
35:21yeah which become brain organoids I know that's extraordinary do you know the biggest organ
35:27you're scared we're all different what's in my hands right now our tiny lab-grown brains the
35:37scientists who make them say they're alive oh what they're alive there is I thought that's what
35:43people were scared of the computers being alive yeah and developing AI too far well it'll serve them
35:50right the computers come to life and knock them off their silly little stools and trample
35:55them to a pulp before marching out of the laboratory yes in the Cotswolds I can't find the car keys
36:10the car keys Andrew and his husband Alfie where the car keys and why have you got those funny new
36:17headphones these
36:19I could not hear a word you're saying this is the best investment I've ever made because now I can no
36:27longer hear you snoring or waffling it means you can't hear me at all you'll just listen to music
36:33all day and won't hear a thing that I say talk he's on the desk oh thanks oh this week there are some
36:40creatures giving us the creeps on Netflix do you know what in nature there is some truly nasty
36:47bastards yeah well this will be for you your favorite sort of programmer mixture of horror and
36:52nature yeah I only like very juvenile horror nutty yeah like Jeepers Creepers one and Jeepers Creepers
37:00two oh shall we turn the lights down no we won't we'll keep them on oh cute that's hardly a monster
37:14a little rodent this white-footed mouse is about to become a mother oh no no way oh somebody's gonna
37:26kill Arnie she needs to find somewhere away from danger to give birth where where would you go if
37:33you're having a little litter of mice up a tree good idea oh yes I bet she goes in that hole I might be
37:44where I will live still oh thank god and she's in she's in she's in it seems the perfect nursery
37:53nursery beyond the dangers of the outside this is the perfect nursery yeah but I think it's someone
38:01else's nursery abs that's bones and everything in there oh my days she's in a graveyard Simon I
38:11told you that's where an owl lives in there do owls eat mice's my eye I've never read the
38:18gruffalo but this nursery is a nightmare oh what is it that this is a bird of prey now to this will
38:26be an owl this is horrible the secret lair of a serial killer serial killer it's not a serial killer
38:36it's an owl and she is it favorite prey you horrible al I've gone off house now now the only way to not get
38:50your feelings hurt this bit you start imagining you're watching an owl documentary instead and
38:55you're backing team out to get his meal the hell's not in 24 hours oh it's looking right at you oh no
39:06wow masses like that the owl also has incredible hearing oh no oh it would do oh it would have
39:14enabling it to hear even the quietest sounds
39:18heartbeat it's listen to it's heartbeat our mother has her own cards to play oh she got something up
39:27her sleeve bike oh she freezes and lowers her thumping heartbeat to run silent oh clever go so now the
39:40mouse is going stealth though you hate this I love with the heartbeat now yes you can't hear it it's cold
39:46now she must wait for the owl to fall asleep and then make an absolute mad dash for it
39:52oh it's got his eyes shut it's asleep no am i look if i were the mouse my phone would ring
40:00my god no
40:06my god no
40:07my god my dinner is escaping
40:20right run no needs to make a run for it go
40:26I can't breathe.
40:30I can't.
40:37Oh, he's out.
40:38Yes!
40:39She's out!
40:39She's out!
40:40Fuck you, owl.
40:46Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake.
40:49Well, I didn't expect that.
40:51I thought we were going to have a death in the family.
40:56In Yorkshire.
40:58So you've been to the chiropractor and what has she advised about your neck?
41:01It's a man.
41:02OK, sorry.
41:03Sarah and her daughter-in-law, Lara.
41:06So we do this chicken neck, which you did very well.
41:10Like that.
41:11You said that it really helps.
41:13In fact, I think it does.
41:14That's amazing.
41:15So basically your exercises are to walk like a chicken.
41:19Or to stand like a chicken, yeah, and do that.
41:22So just do this.
41:23Yeah, helps my neck.
41:24So while we're watching telly, we could go...
41:26This week, a famous face was off on his jollies again on Apple TV+.
41:33You're the least reluctant traveller ever.
41:36I'm literally the least reluctant traveller.
41:38I'd be on a plane every day if I could.
41:40I'm the living example of better late than never.
41:44Eugene Levy co-wrote with his son Schitt's Crank Padders.
41:48And he was Jim's dad out of American Pie.
41:50Isn't he the one who caught his son with his dick in the apple pie?
41:53Oh, my God.
41:54Oh, bloody hell.
41:56Now that I'm considered something of a traveller,
41:59I've challenged myself to complete my own bucket list.
42:02My bucket list of things to do before I'm dead is to get the cottage tidy.
42:06My dad has one.
42:12That's why he went to Hong Kong last year and he goes here, there and everywhere.
42:16And he says to me all the time,
42:18Abs, what's on your bucket list?
42:21And I'm like, you know what?
42:23Not a lot.
42:23Is there anything you really want to do?
42:25No.
42:27In the programme, we saw Eugene at a fancy hotel in London.
42:32Mr Levy, sir?
42:33Oliver.
42:33Just have some correspondence, I've said.
42:35Ah.
42:36Correspondence?
42:37A letter?
42:38Who gets letters these days?
42:40Kensington Palace.
42:42And there's a W on the insignia.
42:44Hang on a minute, Kensington Palace?
42:47I heard that your travels have brought you to the UK
42:50and I wondered if you might like to see Windsor Castle.
42:53Well, you know who that is, don't you?
42:54William?
42:55Wills?
42:56With best wishes, William.
42:58Is he taking him round the castle?
43:00He is!
43:01Eugene, you lucky bastard.
43:02Does everybody get one of them if you stay in this hotel?
43:05Probably not.
43:05Henry VIII, Queen Victoria, 40 monarchs have lived here.
43:11It's crazy.
43:12Oh, you'd like that.
43:13Wouldn't you love a castle?
43:14You do, don't you?
43:14Was that Windsor?
43:16And do you know who lives?
43:17Stone's throw from there.
43:19Jeremy Kyle.
43:20Oh!
43:24Here he is!
43:25Is that William?
43:28You can't be serious.
43:30Look!
43:31He's on the scooter!
43:32Oh, yeah!
43:33Not an electric scooter.
43:34Not an electric scooter.
43:35Not an electric scooter.
43:38Eugene, good morning.
43:40Your Royal Highness.
43:42Is this to make it look like William's just a normal person?
43:45Yeah, I guess so.
43:46Yeah.
43:46What have I said about electric scooters?
43:48Grown men, electric scooters.
43:50Ick.
43:52This is your home?
43:54Yes.
43:54Not in the castle.
43:55So we live down outside the castle.
43:57Why can't we look around your actual house?
43:59Yeah.
44:00You know, I want to see what your actual bedroom looks like.
44:03How about it's Malm from Ikea?
44:05Yeah.
44:06In a clothes maiden with everybody's undies on it.
44:08Oh, my.
44:10This is the King's Royal Room.
44:11Whoa, look at that room.
44:12That room's bigger than our house.
44:15And also, out there you've got Eton College.
44:17So that's where I went to school.
44:18That's where I went to school.
44:19And sometimes if I could get away in an evening when there was nothing else going on, I'd come
44:23around and have a bit of tea with her, because she had the best teas ever.
44:26Oh.
44:27So you used to go and see his granny?
44:28Oh, isn't that lovely?
44:30Just like normal people.
44:32It was basically like what everybody else does.
44:33You know, we used to go to Nan's on a Wednesday for our tea.
44:36Oh, we did, yeah.
44:36It's the same thing.
44:37Watch the bill and then throw up, because we'd been swimming.
44:39Yeah.
44:40He might be a royal, but he's still British.
44:43It was only going to be a matter of time before we ended up in a pub.
44:47Is he in his local?
44:48I have been for Sunday dinner in that pub.
44:53No way.
44:54Yep.
44:55The two brewers were at Nice.
44:58Stunning.
44:58Best roast I've had.
44:59What do you fancy?
45:00What do I fancy?
45:02I'm going to have a Guinness.
45:03Guinness?
45:04OK.
45:04Eugene.
45:05Can I have a cider?
45:06Sweet or dry?
45:06Sweet, please.
45:07He's cider?
45:09It's a cider.
45:09Sweet cider?
45:11It's not strong or dark fruit.
45:13Cider rider?
45:14You will one day be king of England.
45:17Do you think about that at all?
45:19I mean, do you think about it probably every night going, help?
45:22But I'm actually looking forward to that, William,
45:24because I think you're a really nice man.
45:25I think you'll be really good at it.
45:27I do.
45:28It's not something I wake up in the morning and think about.
45:30You must think about it a bit, babe.
45:32That is the only thing that would ever be in my mind.
45:34Yeah, me too.
45:35But if I'm not true to myself and I'm not true to what I stand for,
45:39I'm believing, then it doesn't really matter who you are.
45:42He's very philosophical, isn't he?
45:44Yeah, yeah.
45:44That's good values.
45:46He's got good values.
45:46He seems sincere, doesn't he?
45:48I hope we don't go back to some of the practices in the past
45:51that Harry and I had to grow up in.
45:53The firm.
45:55He's mentioned Harry.
45:56That's the bit that excites me,
45:57is the idea of being able to bring some change.
45:59God, bloody, Eugene Levy has got the scoop.
46:02He's like Oprah Winfrey.
46:04Eugene Levy.
46:05He is.
46:06I mean, if you think about it,
46:08we've had King Charles on the repair shop.
46:10Yeah.
46:10You know, we've had William on here.
46:12Yeah.
46:12You know, what next?
46:14Prince Harry may be on Antiques Road Trip.
46:16Yeah.
46:17And into my big brother.
46:18Yeah.
46:19Prince Andrew, 24 hours in police custody.
46:21The possibilities are endless.
46:29Ready or not, here they come.
46:3114 civilians go fugitive for three weeks.
46:34A new series of Hunted starts Sunday at nine here on Channel 4.
46:38And six Gen Zers pair up with six boomers on a journey across Japan.
46:42Can they bridge decades of differences to win big?
46:46Stream a new series, worlds apart now.
46:48New Next, Mitchell and Webb are not helping.
46:51The perfect, the perfect world.
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