- 2 months ago
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TVTranscript
00:00Morning, Sharon.
00:06Oh, hi, Evie. How are you?
00:08Out your shell again, hermit crab.
00:12I'm not a crab, Callum. I'm a person.
00:14Oh, lady in the attic. Finally.
00:16I'm going to stop you right there. You have a great day. You deserve it.
00:20What?
00:22Oi. Sorry.
00:30Me again. I've slept better, but I've got this weird pain in my ear.
00:38Is that labyrinthitis? I don't know.
00:44Evie, I just wanted to say, I've been...
00:52I've got the day off and maybe I can come help with some prep.
00:59Big one tonight, obviously.
01:01So, what's the film?
01:03Er...
01:05You haven't said.
01:15Hello?
01:16Hello?
01:17Stop it. You're going to make me wee.
01:19I haven't brushed my teeth yet. Doesn't matter.
01:21I've got a fuzzy mouth.
01:22I've had four coffees.
01:23I'm going to go on a big old walk today.
01:25Oh, how big? A big old walk?
01:27Big. Huge.
01:33She needs to slow down.
01:35She's back and forth to that shop like a bloody yo-yo.
01:37Say it to her face.
01:39She wants to go on a big old walk.
01:41Can you go with her?
01:43Try and chill her out. She's gone from 0 to 99.
01:45Must have a dog you can borrow.
01:47Oh, speaking of, any biz cards?
01:49Any biz cards?
01:50They're arriving by courier.
01:51They want to arrive by awesome bloody carriage, the amount they cost.
01:54No, don't get going on about it.
01:55I'm not!
01:56Oh, I'm still at home!
01:58What?
01:59Stop.
02:05What's this supposed to be?
02:06Prison.
02:07Oh, you can whack your double den and join in if you want to, baby.
02:10Baby?
02:11Couldn't think of anything worse.
02:12This just arrived for you.
02:13Yes.
02:14Big week this week?
02:16Mm-hmm.
02:17Yeah, I'm moving it forward.
02:18200 and it's time to move it forward.
02:20You know?
02:21I'm shifting, I'm changing, I'm reimagining.
02:23Well, I'm off for a dog walk.
02:25You want to come?
02:26Mm!
02:27Yeah, forwards.
02:28I'm craving a big old walk.
02:29Well, it's not big, it's not old.
02:30It's just a walk.
02:31Okay.
02:33Hey, Evie Nicks.
02:34Where are you off to?
02:35Going on a walk.
02:36No, I think we're alright for milk, babe.
02:38No, a big old walk.
02:39Oh, a big old walk, is it?
02:41Alright, wait there a sec.
02:42I'll come with you.
02:43No, no, babe, it's fine because it's like a sister stroll.
02:45You know, like girly pop chats.
02:46Right, Evie?
02:47Whatever.
02:52I mean, I'm absolutely thrilled about it, Josh.
02:54Yeah.
02:55I'm made up, mate.
02:56It's like watching her take her first steps.
02:58Oh, that's a lovely sentiment, that, Susa.
03:04But...
03:05Yeah?
03:06Is it...
03:07Yeah?
03:08Too much?
03:09Too soon, yeah.
03:10Yeah.
03:16God, I haven't been here for ages.
03:18You haven't been anywhere for ages.
03:20Having all these ideas is.
03:22It's like my brain's woken up.
03:24Ideas for what?
03:25Film club.
03:27You gonna carry on?
03:28Even though Noah's leaving?
03:30Of course I'm gonna carry on.
03:32Film club's about more than just Noah, isn't it?
03:34Is it?
03:35It sounds so fucking cheesy, but...
03:39Are you in love, Evs?
03:41Evs, I love all my friends.
03:45You know what I mean with Josh?
03:47Oh!
03:48Josh!
03:50It's Josh!
03:51Who wouldn't love Josh?
03:53Wait...
03:58Hello, babes!
03:59Yeah?
04:00How's Evie's big old walk?
04:01Evie's fine!
04:02She's 28!
04:03Don't fob me off, Evs!
04:04Have they turned up?
04:05What?
04:06Look, this isn't your mama just being nuts.
04:08The business cards, Mum!
04:09I don't know, Isabel!
04:10Isabel!
04:11Isabel!
04:12Isabel!
04:13Isabel!
04:16You're dead excited about this, aren't you?
04:18Oh, fuck off.
04:19Evie's out, mate.
04:20Out?
04:21Yeah, out and about.
04:22Big old walk.
04:23A big old walk.
04:24A big old walk.
04:25Something clicked and, er, she's back on the horse.
04:39Yeah, mint, innit?
04:40Yeah.
04:41Yeah.
04:42Out and about.
04:43Big old walk.
04:45A big old walk.
04:47Something clicked and, er, she's back on the horse.
04:51Yeah, mint, innit?
04:52Yeah, yeah, it is mint.
04:55Yeah.
04:56I mean, we're really chuffed.
04:57Obviously, it's, you know, it's baby steps.
05:00How long to go now?
05:03A week and a day.
05:05You swapped over all your bits and bobs, your accounts and stuff?
05:08Yeah, yeah, all the bobs.
05:10All the bits.
05:12All right, then, well, see you later, Noah.
05:15Er, Josh, erm...
05:18Yes, my guy?
05:20Do you know what the film is?
05:24Something to do with feathers.
05:26I don't know.
05:30So what is it you love about him?
05:32Jesus is?
05:33You're about to shine a big light in me face.
05:35Yeah, just answer the question.
05:37I love how he knows Mum.
05:40I love how he knows you.
05:42Does he know you?
05:43What's not to know, Isabel?
05:46I'm the most knowable of the lot of us.
05:49Well, he's fair.
05:50He adores you and he'd do anything for you.
05:52So stop pining after your weird mate.
05:54Hey, I am not pining after my weird mate.
05:57I'm not pining after anyone.
05:59All I'm interested in right now is you!
06:03And this!
06:04God, you're a nutter!
06:05Can I believe?
06:06He's a fucking unit.
06:07Are you sure?
06:08I'm sure.
06:09Come on, Dave.
06:10We're just...
06:11Come on, big Dave!
06:12Don't let him go!
06:13Let's go!
06:14Run, Davey!
06:15Run!
06:16Woo!
06:17Come on, Davey!
06:18Come on, Davey!
06:19Come on, Davey!
06:20I only had soya milk.
06:22Hope that's okay.
06:23Of course.
06:24How was your night?
06:26Couple of broken bones and an asthma attack.
06:32Still not heard from Evie?
06:34Nope.
06:35It's been days.
06:37Yeah.
06:38There's really no reason for us to be pissed off with you.
06:40There's nothing you've said.
06:43No, I don't think so.
06:46It does seem rather odd.
06:52Listen.
06:54I've got limited experience here.
06:57But I could tell you something that might help.
06:59It might not help, as the case may be.
07:01Please?
07:04Well, second year in medical school,
07:06there was this Kimberly Piper.
07:08It's a cardiologist.
07:11Which was ironic because she treated my heart with...
07:13something approaching disdain.
07:16Anyway, I thought it was...
07:18blisteringly clear to everyone how I felt.
07:20I mean, I'd break out into a cold sweat whenever I was near her.
07:23Turned out she didn't have a clue.
07:28And I went off with one of my pals.
07:31Anyway, I look back on it now and I do just wish that I'd said something.
07:34I was always worried I'd never find the right word.
07:38But of course, there are no right words, you know?
07:42Sometimes you've just got to say something.
07:44How was the big old walk?
07:45Ask yourself.
07:46She was in loserland.
07:47What's that?
07:48It's a cake I've made for his mum and dad.
07:49I went for carrot cake.
07:50Can't go wrong with a bit of kazza cake, Suzo.
07:51It's a shame my girl won't be there.
07:52Yeah, I know.
07:53It would be too much.
07:54Baby steps.
07:55Shame.
07:56Mum completely gets it.
07:57And she's desperate to meet her just when the time's right.
07:58And I don't think that's a big old party.
07:59Big old party?
08:00No.
08:01You know what I mean.
08:02It's like a humble shebang at our humble abode.
08:04I don't know.
08:05It'd be sozzy rolls and bed by ten our X.
08:06Don't fancy knocking us up a tray of your famous philoes to go with the kazza cake,
08:11they are.
08:12For your parents' silver wedding anniversary?
08:13I'd be honoured.
08:14I'd be honoured.
08:15I'm only messing is a normal feeling just because I think we'll have to get to it.
08:16It's a big deal.
08:17Well, mum completely gets it.
08:18And she's desperate to meet her just when the time's right and I don't think that's a big
08:21old party.
08:22Big old party?
08:23No.
08:24You know what I mean.
08:25It's like a humble shebang at our humble abode.
08:27I don't know.
08:28It'd be sozzy rolls and bed by ten our X.
08:29silver wedding anniversary. I'd be honoured.
08:32No, I'm only messing, sis.
08:34Fizz and philo's, that's my thing.
08:36No, I'm winding you up. No, don't do that. I'm only joking.
08:40Oh.
08:41Okay. Yeah, no problem.
08:46He said no. Yeah, of course he did.
08:48It's gracious to have thought that boy oozes chivalry out of his every pore.
08:52Ugh, mum, men never say what they mean.
08:54Now, should I pipe my pate or spread it?
08:56I think you should leave it in the fucking fridge.
08:58Now, you listen to me, Isabel. Josh has done everything for our family.
09:02Oh, it's an oasis of testosterone in a vast landscape of...
09:07the other one.
09:08Estrogen. Yeah.
09:10This is a very important day for him today.
09:13And his girl, our girl, our Evis, she can't make it, can she?
09:17So this is the next best thing.
09:19I thought we were delivering biz cards tonight.
09:21Will there still be dogs tomorrow?
09:24Capers.
09:28Have fun tonight, baby.
09:30Have fun tonight, baby.
09:35Um, Noah came around for you earlier.
09:40Yeah, he seemed a bit desperate, actually.
09:44Alright.
09:45Kiss attack.
09:46I've told you, go for my boobs, there's more up there.
09:48There you go, pooch.
09:50Bye.
09:51Bye.
09:52Bye.
09:53Bye.
09:54Bye.
09:55Bye.
09:56Bye.
09:58Bye.
10:00Bye.
10:03Bye.
10:04Bye.
10:06Bye.
10:12Bye.
10:36Bye.
11:06What is it?
11:09Oh, where's madam?
11:11I don't know. It's all locked up.
11:13Maybe she's inside, going method on the prison theme.
11:16Can I just say that we are rocking the double denim?
11:19Had to make an effort. End of an era.
11:22Caw-caw! Caw-caw! Caw-caw!
11:24Caw-caw!
11:25God, Evie.
11:26Why have you come with Black Swan?
11:29Darling, I'm Jake.
11:31The crow.
11:32Yeah.
11:33Caw-caw!
11:44Oh, feels claustrophobic.
11:47Yeah, well, it's a prison, isn't it, Cam? So it's supposed to.
11:50Love you.
11:53It's atmospheric.
11:55Symbolistic is what it is.
11:58Shawshank Redemption. Redemption.
12:01And here is the most important thing of all.
12:03Darling, you've turned me into a poster.
12:06She looks so hot.
12:08I know.
12:09Warden Norton, would you like to do the honours?
12:12Oh.
12:13What the fuck is this?
12:14I know it doesn't look like much, but it's been months since I got past the bin and now I can get past the bin.
12:31You've been to all these places.
12:34Um, Blair Witch?
12:35Yeah, imagine.
12:36An immersive viewing of Blair Witch Project in Stenna Woods.
12:38Yeah, we'll be traumatised.
12:39Um, how would we watch the film?
12:40Well, you're not going to be here, are you, babe, so you don't need to worry about that.
12:41And the derelict lose by the Leisure Centre, that could be Trainspotting.
12:42You know, it's a great way to attract new members.
12:44Community.
12:45Humans need community.
12:46Yeah.
12:47Yeah, but we're really proud of you, Eves.
12:48Aren't we?
12:49Group hug?
12:50I don't need to be proud, I just need to know whether you like the idea.
12:51Yeah, I love the idea for you.
12:52Sam?
12:53Yeah.
12:54I'm proud, I'm proud of you.
12:55I just need, like, to know whether you like the idea.
12:56Yeah, I love the idea.
12:57For you.
12:58Sam?
13:11Yeah?
13:12Yeah?
13:13Yeah?
13:15Sam?
13:16Yeah?
13:28Bloody hell, Josh!
13:30Humble abode?
13:32What the shimmering fuck?
13:44Suze?
13:46What are you doing here?
13:47Can you hear your heart-breaker?
13:48Oh, Josh!
13:49This place is incredible!
13:50Suze?
13:51Did they like the casket?
13:52Yeah, they loved it, yeah.
13:54Yes, ma'am!
13:56Can you tell the staff to circulate properly, please?
13:59Is this mum?
14:00Oh, yeah, sorry.
14:02Suze, this is Lydia. Lydia, Suze.
14:04Mum's meet at last.
14:06I'm Evie's mother.
14:08Who?
14:09Evie?
14:10Evie's...
14:11Mum?
14:12Er...
14:13Evie!
14:14OK.
14:15Right.
14:16Well, hello, Evie's mum.
14:17Joshua, can you make yourself useful, for God's sake?
14:20Hi.
14:23A contribution.
14:24Oh, so you're part of the team.
14:26I was confused.
14:27It's just a token of appreciation for our Joshie.
14:30Appreciation?
14:31What?
14:32Josh.
14:33He's, like, part of the family.
14:35Family?
14:36Well, I mean, he's got a chest of drawers at our eyes.
14:39Lydia!
14:40There she is.
14:41Lady Mock.
14:42Fresh from the Maldives.
14:43Look at that town.
14:48It's really not that difficult.
14:50It's one lemon, one rosemary per glass.
14:52Look.
14:53One per glass.
14:54I'm not an octopus.
14:55Two staffs are twenty guests.
14:57Very clearly explained on the website.
14:59Well, it wasn't that clearly explained, was it?
15:01And you're here now, so don't let me down.
15:02It's really too much for me.
15:03I've been on my feet all day.
15:05It's not really my problem, is it?
15:06The show must go on.
15:18Bloody hell, what's going on, babe?
15:20These conditions are horrible.
15:21Yeah.
15:22The hours are ridiculous.
15:23Right.
15:24And they're a bunch of pricks.
15:27Hey, gently, gently.
15:30Do you know what pause stands for?
15:32Pause action until serenity enters.
15:34Give us your hands.
15:35Big deep breath.
15:36Oh, no.
15:37Well, don't cry.
15:41Oh, you're going to ruin your kitten flake.
15:43Are you a guest?
15:45Not really.
15:46I thought I was family.
15:47Come on, grab a tray.
15:48Head held high.
15:50I've got you, babe.
15:51I've got you.
15:52Right.
15:53Champagne.
15:54Champers.
15:55Drink.
16:00Oh, yeah.
16:13Drink.
16:14You're welcome.
16:27Excuse me.
16:34I need to pee.
16:36No portals.
16:37Breaks the flow.
16:38Darling, it's a basic human right.
16:44I need a poo.
17:03How did you know what the film was?
17:07Josh said he saw feathers and the garage was grey.
17:11Two and two together.
17:14Wow.
17:18You know, we could have gone out together again if you replied to any of Michael's messages.
17:24I thought it would be better if I did it on my own.
17:29Yeah.
17:31Of course.
17:36Maybe.
17:37Yeah.
17:39Crisis averted.
17:40Wait, that was way too quick.
17:44Naturally.
17:46In my garden.
17:51What were you going to say?
17:52These ones go first.
17:58Where's the girl?
17:59Why's she not tidied?
18:00No, no, no.
18:01Sue, I'm so sorry.
18:03I completely blanked earlier.
18:05I remembered who your Evie is.
18:07I had a brain fart.
18:08Oh, well, I did think.
18:10Earth to Lydia.
18:10Earth to Lydia.
18:11She was in Cadets with him, wasn't she?
18:14Evie, in Cadets?
18:15Yes, she was.
18:20Have you been doing this all night, Sue?
18:22Yeah.
18:23Otherwise, that girl would have been on her own.
18:24What a trooper.
18:26Well, you must come and have a drink with us.
18:27No, I think I'll just jump in a taxi.
18:30Nonsense.
18:30The night is young.
18:32Go on, then.
18:33Fabulous.
18:33If you could just do a quick sweep for glasses and plates and pop them in the dishwashers.
18:37I'll pour you some bubbles when you're done.
18:38Good.
18:41Then you can come out now.
18:42Mm-hmm.
18:43And these.
18:44Oh, Sue.
18:45Sue.
18:47Sue.
18:47I think it's Sue's, Mum.
18:49Sue.
18:51Sue.
18:52Sue.
18:55Sue.
19:07Delivered.
19:08What the fuck?
19:16Just got to do it.
19:22Have you seen a parcel?
19:24It is.
19:24Or a package for me?
19:25Izzy, it's Film Club.
19:26This isn't Film Club.
19:27It's our fucking garage.
19:28Okay, well, let's look for it later.
19:32You've shoved it in here with the rest of your shit.
19:35You know I've been waiting all day for this.
19:37What is it?
19:37It's my piss card's ears.
19:40I could have been out delivering tonight.
19:41Okay, sorry.
19:42I've had other things on my mind.
19:44Yeah, of course, because it's all about you, isn't it?
19:51Oh.
19:52Shit.
19:53Cam!
19:54I've got responsibilities, Evie.
19:56Can I grab another bottle, darling?
19:58Fine.
19:58Fine.
19:59Fine.
19:59I don't know.
20:29Oh, fuck me, Suze. What an ensemble.
20:34Be still, my throbbing heart.
20:35Oh, thanks, babies.
20:38Because I feel a bit...
20:39So that's nice.
20:41What is it, Suze?
20:43Let's get you some snacks. You all look famished.
20:45Mum? Mum?
20:47Oh, they're here, they're here, they're here.
20:49Oh, you're all lit up, darling.
20:51Illuminated ears.
20:52That's my new business venture, Homestead Hounds.
20:55No, no, go on, you open.
20:56Oh, baby.
20:58Drum roll, please.
21:00Ooh.
21:04Homestead Hounds.
21:05Dog wanking service.
21:07What?
21:15No calls, no texts for days.
21:18Felt like Demi Moore.
21:20What?
21:22Like I've been...
21:25ghosted.
21:27Where are they?
21:29Don't need them.
21:32They don't care.
21:35Yeah.
21:37It's exhausting being the one who cares.
21:39Are you joking?
21:42The one who cares.
21:45I cycle here every week.
21:48Full costume, no matter how mortifying.
21:50Make up all kinds of weird reasons to leave work early.
21:53I stay the entire time and...
21:55You're the only one who cares, okay?
21:56I never said only.
21:57You know what you meant.
22:00I'm sorry it's been such an effort.
22:02An obligation.
22:04Okay, don't do that.
22:06Don't.
22:07It's good.
22:08It's over.
22:08You're free.
22:09What happened to moving it forwards?
22:12What happened to train spotting in the loo?
22:14No, I'm done.
22:15You have to keep it going, Evie.
22:19It's...
22:19It's...
22:20It's good for you.
22:23Good for me?
22:24Yes.
22:25You know what I mean?
22:27Yeah, I do.
22:29You do it because you really love it.
22:31I don't do it because I love it and there were.
22:37I do it because...
22:54Did you check?
22:55Obviously, I checked them.
22:57I checked the proof.
22:58Mum?
22:59Oh, dear.
22:59Yeah, definitely dog ranking.
23:02Did you check it on the desktop?
23:04No, my phone.
23:05Well, it's tiny text, isn't it, Evie?
23:06Yeah, and it's a swirly-wirly writing.
23:08I can't fucking believe it.
23:09Well, it's niche.
23:10I'll give you that.
23:11You'll have all sorts of cooners up outside, Suze.
23:14Don't laugh at me.
23:14It's not funny.
23:16You don't laugh at her daft fucking shit, do you?
23:17Oh, darling, we do.
23:19I knew it was a stupid idea.
23:21It's not stupid, Gerard.
23:23Not at all.
23:24Gerard's wound me up.
23:25He made me feel...
23:27God, I fucking knew it.
23:28We'll sort it.
23:29We'll sort it all, baby.
23:30It'll be sorted.
23:31They're just pieces of paper, sweet people.
23:33It's not just pieces of paper.
23:35This is my thing.
23:37I'm so...
23:39So what?
23:41Oh, it is.
23:43What is it you need?
23:44Come on, don't ignore me now.
23:55You've ignored me all week.
23:56It was hardly riveting conversation, was it, Noah?
23:59You talking at me about utter shite.
24:01Wow.
24:02Okay.
24:03Yeah, whether you should get an MRI for your ice pick headache, if you should buy a dehumidifier,
24:07lamenting about your five-hour sleep and whether I think it's the light pollution in Manchester
24:11that's keeping you up.
24:12Okay, what do you want to talk about, then?
24:14What happened?
24:17I was trying to talk about what happened.
24:20Nothing happened.
24:23Don't do that.
24:24I got you out.
24:27Oh.
24:30Thank you for everything you've done for me.
24:33You can fuck off now feeling like the big man.
24:36Yeah, you can clip-clop through the dock with Tia and Miles telling them all about your noble heroism.
24:41Why are you so angry with me?
24:42Because you took us somewhere and then you pissed off and left me there alone.
24:47I was so fucking embarrassed and confused.
24:50I was embarrassed and confused as well.
24:52Yeah, but I would never leave.
24:53Only because you can't.
25:00Evie, I didn't mean that.
25:03Wait, Evie.
25:05This is for you.
25:06What the hell is it?
25:09Just read it.
25:09Say it.
25:10You know, I don't even know why I'm upset.
25:15This is just your personality.
25:16I should be used to this by now.
25:17Are you kidding me?
25:18You've got a boyfriend.
25:21Oh.
25:22Okay, mate.
25:23So that's why you can't say what you mean, ever, or address anything.
25:26Right, so what was your excuse for the other seven years and five months before Josh came on the scene?
25:30Four.
25:31What?
25:33You and Josh have been together for eight months, so that would make it.
25:36Seven years and four months.
25:37Fuck off.
25:52He's a prick!
25:53All men are pricks.
25:56Are you okay?
25:57If film club was over, you'd be relieved, wouldn't you?
26:01Well, maybe it feels a bit like the moment's past, love.
26:07Oh.
26:10Does it have to be on a Friday?
26:15I'll go get your coats.
26:17It's you we love, darling!
26:19Evie!
26:20Evie!
26:22Oh, shit.
26:24You found this outside?
26:42Oh, darling.
26:44Oh, you really do have the ability to make magic out of nothing.
26:48Do you know that?
26:48Come on.
26:51Have something to eat.
26:55What are they?
26:56Just some bits left over from the party.
26:59What party?
27:00From Josh's.
27:03God, you had to go there, didn't you?
27:05I was just helping.
27:06No.
27:07You didn't want your help, Mum.
27:10God, why is everyone meddling in my life?
27:12It's my boyfriend.
27:13Josh is my boyfriend.
27:14I'm not meddling.
27:15Mum, stop.
27:16Hey.
27:17Now, what's been said?
27:19Bloody come in here, upsetting my little girl.
27:21Don't.
27:22Come here.
27:23Oh.
27:24Evie.
27:25You're not acting like yourself.
27:27I'm fine.
27:28Come here.
27:29I'm fine.
27:29My baby girl.
27:30I'm fine.
27:30No, you're not.
27:32You're not.
27:32This isn't you.
27:33You're my little dreamer.
27:35Mum, you can't fix it.
27:36You need to calm down.
27:38Come here.
27:38No, Mum, stop fucking smothering me.
27:40And you fucking grow up.
27:54I'm fine.
27:56I'm fine.
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