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QI XL S23E09 >>> https://dai.ly/x9wbre2
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00:00I
00:30Hello and welcome to QI, but tonight we'll be taking a walking tour
00:36of the weird and the wonderful.
00:37Let me welcome, weirdly, the washable Melanie Bracewell.
00:43The windproof, Roisin Conaty.
00:48The world, Patrick Kilty.
00:53And our own Mr Whippy, Alan Davis.
01:00There buzzes our wonderful Melanie goes.
01:03We're the wonderful world.
01:07Roisin goes.
01:09The wonderful world.
01:12Patrick goes.
01:14We're the wonderful world tonight.
01:18And Alan goes.
01:21Wonderful world.
01:26I love that little one.
01:27Right, now that we've all warmed up, for question one, let's have a jolly good wink.
01:36OK, so my question is, how does that make you feel if I wink at you?
01:40I felt many things inside when you winked at me, Sandy.
01:42I was mainly thinking that maybe in uni it wasn't a phase, but...
01:46LAUGHTER
01:47No, no, straight away, two points.
01:51It depends how long the wink lasts.
01:55I think a quick wink, and you think, oh, I'm enjoying that, but a slow, long wink, yeah, you're going to get killed.
02:03A quick wink just sort of says, it's a sort of, like, how you doing?
02:07It's like a kiss on the cheek as opposed to a Frenchie.
02:10LAUGHTER
02:10It depends who's doing the wink.
02:12I mean, you're winking at me.
02:14Now, that kind of makes me feel that you mightn't really be a lesbian.
02:18LAUGHTER
02:19OK, I'm doing well on both sides, yeah.
02:23LAUGHTER
02:24They did a study on this, right?
02:26So, in 1999, the researchers approached different strangers,
02:28asked them what time it was, and then thanked them with a wink,
02:30and they interviewed them afterwards.
02:32And strangers usually had positive feelings towards the winker
02:36as long as they were of the opposite sex.
02:39What I liked is, so, 11% thought the researcher fancied them,
02:426% thought the poor person had something wrong with their eye.
02:47I always think you're getting sort of a bargain at the market.
02:50You just pay full price, but they wink at you, and you feel like,
02:52I must have got some sort of bargain.
02:53Some deal.
02:54It just means that it's stolen goods.
02:56LAUGHTER
02:57But how would that work with the time?
03:00So, someone goes, it's 3.30, then you think,
03:03they've given me an extra couple of minutes.
03:05LAUGHTER
03:05I didn't realise I was quite a good winker,
03:09until... And it happens to me quite a lot.
03:14Whenever you walk down the street,
03:15there's quite a lot of people from the other side of the street
03:17shout, Oi, keelty!
03:19Winker.
03:20LAUGHTER
03:21I think that's what they're saying.
03:23Yeah, no. Can you show me your wink?
03:26OK. Do you normally wink with the right eye?
03:28The right one is the more,
03:30and then the left one is more,
03:32you are the weakest link.
03:34Bye-bye.
03:35OK, see, so, people have a dominant and a non-dominant eye,
03:38and usually you leave the dominant eye open,
03:41and you wink with the other eye,
03:43and two-thirds of us are right eye dominant,
03:45so we wink with the left.
03:46What about you?
03:47I've got very good winking skills.
03:49To scare my sister as a child,
03:51I just go like that.
03:53LAUGHTER
03:53Wow, because your other eye doesn't move.
03:57So I could do...
03:57And that's not with the winking,
03:58you do need to scrunch.
04:00Yeah.
04:00The wink has to have the scrunch, like,
04:02that means you're not getting killed.
04:04That's just...
04:05Paddy was...
04:06Oh, that's it.
04:06He was putting it in a bit of a knot.
04:08Yeah, and a scrunch.
04:09What if you do one with a back,
04:11and you go...
04:12LAUGHTER
04:12That honestly looks like a stroke, yeah.
04:15LAUGHTER
04:16And having a stroke and having a wink
04:21can sometimes be the same thing.
04:22LAUGHTER
04:23But your dominant eye and your dominant hand,
04:27they're often linked together,
04:28so if you write with your left,
04:29you probably wink with your right.
04:31A tiny proportion of people cannot wink at all.
04:33Is there anybody in the audience who cannot wink?
04:35There's one person there.
04:38What happens when you try?
04:39You look like an idiot.
04:40You look like an idiot.
04:42Come and join the panel.
04:43LAUGHTER
04:44So if you can't wink at all,
04:47there may be a problem with your orbicularis oculi muscles,
04:50so that's the bit that helps your eyelids to close.
04:53It doesn't matter in the least.
04:55So that's winking in real life,
04:57but what's the point of the winking emoji?
05:00It kind of depends what comes after the winking emoji,
05:05you know, because if it's winking emoji with thumbs up...
05:08Right.
05:08Yeah.
05:09..that's kind of, see you later.
05:11Yeah.
05:11I mean, if it's winking emoji with aubergine emoji...
05:15Yeah.
05:15..after it's...
05:16I was just trying to tell you I was excited
05:18about the new soccer we're going to have later.
05:20LAUGHTER
05:21I think it means it's a joke.
05:25Yeah.
05:25It's universally understood in Latin America, China,
05:28as to mean sarcasm,
05:29and apparently it's something young people use
05:30with the older generation,
05:32because as people become older,
05:34they are less good at detecting sarcasm,
05:37what's known as decoding non-literal language,
05:39and so it's quite a good idea to go,
05:41I was just kidding.
05:42Oh.
05:43Do you two, Mel and Rasheen,
05:45know what I mean when I talk about mascara face?
05:47Yeah, I know.
05:48Yeah, what is that?
05:49Yeah.
05:51Open your mouth.
05:51Do you not open your mouth?
05:52Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:54How many women open their mouth when they apply mascara?
05:58Yeah.
05:58Yeah.
05:58It's just a weird thing.
06:00You're just, you're putting on mascara,
06:02your face is perfectly normal,
06:03and you suddenly go...
06:04LAUGHTER
06:05Like that.
06:06Lots of people do it.
06:07Nobody's really sure why.
06:10It's possible that the nerves that control our eye
06:13and our jaw muscles are rooted very close together
06:15in the brain,
06:15so that when one fires,
06:16the other one goes off.
06:17I always felt like it was the shock
06:18of seeing yourself put things near your eyes.
06:21Your mouth goes,
06:21what are you doing?
06:22LAUGHTER
06:24Here's a weird thing.
06:25Did you know that our anus is wink?
06:28No-one saw that coming!
06:32If you had told me a few years ago,
06:34Melanie, you're going to come on QI,
06:35and Sandy Toxford is going to ask you
06:37if your anus winks,
06:38I don't know if I would have believed.
06:40Is it to denote sarcasm?
06:42LAUGHTER
06:43I'm doing it.
06:45Nothing's happening.
06:46Nothing's happening.
06:46LAUGHTER
06:47I've done ten on the bounce.
06:49LAUGHTER
06:50It's just making your jaw move, though.
06:53LAUGHTER
06:54Mascara has appeared in my eyes.
06:58LAUGHTER
06:59Apparently, when your anal sphincter is touched,
07:03it contracts, and that is anal winking.
07:05Is anyone else clinching hearing this?
07:07LAUGHTER
07:08I think I can actually, there's so many people in this room,
07:11I think I can actually hear anuses.
07:13LAUGHTER
07:14Like, it's quite, I'm like, what's that noise?
07:17Oh, it's everyone trying to wink their anus, in a sense.
07:19LAUGHTER
07:20It's worth paying attention to,
07:22because if you have a weak anal wink,
07:23you could have a spinal injury.
07:24I think, if you had a spinal injury,
07:26I don't think you'd be diagnosed by looking at your anus, would it?
07:29LAUGHTER
07:30I think you'd be going,
07:31Ah!
07:32Yeah.
07:33I just noticed you're winking there with your arsehole, Mr David.
07:36LAUGHTER
07:37If Ellen and I do it at the same time, is there an anal blink?
07:40LAUGHTER
07:42OK, if you do it at the same time, I'll give you £10.
07:45LAUGHTER
07:46We're both doing it right now.
07:47We're both doing it right now.
07:49Right, you've got some objects under your desk.
07:51How can they help you survive in the wild?
07:55You've got a pair of trousers.
07:56I've found a watch.
07:57Patrick, you've got some condoms.
07:59But never mind that, what's his object?
08:01LAUGHTER
08:03This was not on my bingo list for QI.
08:06Sandy, I don't have my condoms.
08:08LAUGHTER
08:09In my whole life, I've never helped a boy look for condoms.
08:12LAUGHTER
08:19See this, darling?
08:20That's a condom.
08:21LAUGHTER
08:22LAUGHTER
08:24That was brought up Irish Catholic?
08:27LAUGHTER
08:28Is that a QI-branded condom?
08:29I know, is that cute?
08:30It's so exciting.
08:31Am I allowed to open this one?
08:32Do you want to open it?
08:33Yes, sure.
08:34I don't know.
08:35I was like, you've only got one saving.
08:36LAUGHTER
08:37That is an impressive one to put out.
08:38LAUGHTER
08:39All of the following tricks, they're in the wilderness survival guides.
08:40OK.
08:41As we had such a fuss with the condom, let's start with that.
08:42Yes.
08:43How do you think that might be useful?
08:44If you are stuck in the wild, you're on a desert island.
08:45No, no.
08:46When you say the wild, you mean like a remote forest, not a night out in Newcastle?
08:47No, no.
08:48You're by yourself in some remote place.
08:49Yes.
08:50And you find you've got just that condom in your pocket.
08:51How useful would it be?
08:52You could carry water in it.
08:53That is the correct answer.
08:55That's what I normally do.
08:56I think that's...
08:57LAUGHTER
08:58That's the correct answer.
08:59APPLAUSE
09:00Oh, no.
09:01Ah, no.
09:02You're by yourself in some remote place.
09:04Yes.
09:05And you find you've got just that condom in your pocket.
09:07How useful would it be?
09:09You could carry water in it.
09:11That is the correct answer.
09:12Oh, no.
09:13APPLAUSE
09:14That's what I normally do.
09:17I think that's...
09:19LAUGHTER
09:20I think it sounds like someone who went into the wild very optimistic and then went, no, no, it's just for water, actually.
09:29Darling, you can carry four litres of water. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, he's doing it. Okay.
09:36Yes, so you can carry a lot of water in a condom and it is very... I mean, don't get the lubricated kind.
09:42It's also very good for waterproofing. You could use it to store Tinder or electronics.
09:47Oh, my God. Are you going to throw that? I've got a horrible...
09:49I mean, we have a six-year-old and a nine-year-old at home, so I think we know where this is going, Alan.
09:55Oh, my God, I'm nervous, I'm nervous! Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh!
10:04Oh, it's turning into semen.
10:07What else can you do? What else in the wilderness might you do apart from water?
10:20Is it, um, if you are, like, one of the last people on Earth and you're supposed to...
10:25I mean, there's your TikTok right there. I don't know why that's...
10:31Sorry, Mel. I'm sorry, Mel. No.
10:36But is it like if you're one of the last people on Earth and you need to repopulate but the first person you meet is a bit of a munter?
10:42LAUGHTER
10:45No, so they make great fire lighters. Oh.
10:48Once set on fire, they should burn for a few minutes. And...
10:50Hopefully not with friction.
10:52LAUGHTER
10:55Are you serious?
10:56LAUGHTER
10:58Get the water filled up! Get the water filled up!
11:01LAUGHTER
11:02That's the episode of Cast Away with Tom, Hanks, we all want to see.
11:06LAUGHTER
11:07Cocks on fire! Cocks on fire!
11:11The other thing, of course, you can use for fire lighter in the wilderness is tortilla chips.
11:15They have so much fat in them that they make very, very good fire lighters.
11:18Where...where do you get them in the wilderness?
11:20Well, you've got to be lucky enough to have them about your person.
11:23Take your own Doritos.
11:24I think that's right.
11:25Let's move on to your one, Alan.
11:26A watch.
11:27What might you do in the wilderness to save yourself with a watch?
11:29Well, obviously the time's very important.
11:33LAUGHTER
11:36Any thought what you might do?
11:38You could use it to direct sunlight.
11:42Yes.
11:43And, er...burn ants.
11:45LAUGHTER
11:48Light a fire, like that.
11:49Well, you could.
11:50You'd have to take the convex lens cover off and use it to direct sunlight.
11:53To create some fire.
11:54You could.
11:55OK.
11:56It has to be an analogue watch and not a digital one.
11:58But the main thing that you can do is use it as a compass.
12:01Oh, can you?
12:02Yes.
12:03So, if you point the hour hand at the sun in the Northern Hemis...
12:08LAUGHTER
12:09That's a shame.
12:10Imagine that's the sun right there, darling.
12:12Right there.
12:13OK, so you point the hour hand at the sun and we are in the Northern Hemisphere.
12:16The point between the hour hand and 12 o'clock roughly faces south.
12:21In the Southern Hemisphere it roughly faces north.
12:23Oh, wow.
12:24Doesn't that depend what time it is?
12:27LAUGHTER
12:29You can use the metal back as a reflector to try and attract attention.
12:35I still think my idea's best, using it to tell what time it is.
12:39Just tell what time it is.
12:40LAUGHTER
12:42Rasheen, what have you got?
12:45I've got some trousers.
12:47Trying to save your life with a pair of trousers.
12:49How might I do that?
12:50Save my life?
12:51Mm.
12:52You could make a hammock out of them.
12:53Ooh!
12:54And then you could be in the trees, while below you,
12:57poisonous snakes and insects were looking up and, oh, shit.
13:01LAUGHTER
13:02Trouser hammock.
13:04The one who knows what the time is.
13:07LAUGHTER
13:10Watch out for burning condom, arse now.
13:13LAUGHTER
13:14What time are my Doritos turning up?
13:16LAUGHTER
13:17Imagine that you are on an island.
13:19Say your ship has gone down and you want to get to the island in the first place,
13:23the trousers might be very useful.
13:25A sail? You make a sail?
13:27Do you inflate it like a life jacket?
13:28That is correct.
13:29Oh!
13:30Oh!
13:31Yes, absolutely correct.
13:32APPLAUSE
13:34So...
13:36You need to make them wet, first of all, right?
13:38OK.
13:39You need to trap the air, so swing the waist over like that.
13:41Is that man alone?
13:42LAUGHTER
13:43Or is that somebody else's legs round his neck?
13:46LAUGHTER
13:47I mean, I wouldn't need these, cos, I mean, I'd just blow up me condom.
13:50Yeah, there is that.
13:51There is that.
13:52Track air in the trousers by swinging the waist overhead,
13:54pop your head through the hole of the two trouser legs,
13:57and it should...
13:58Oh, so you've tied up the bottom.
13:59Yeah.
14:00You've got, like, togs and then somehow there's been air in it
14:03and you look like you've got massive testicles.
14:05Yeah.
14:06No-one's had that before?
14:07Yes, I've had that.
14:08LAUGHTER
14:092019, it saved a sailor's life.
14:11His boat's boom knocked him off the boat off the coast of New Zealand
14:14and he remembered seeing this thing.
14:16And he floated for four hours in his life jacket trousers
14:19until he was rescued.
14:20So it is a thing.
14:22You set about using it for a hammock.
14:23You can tear it apart, of course, for the fabric,
14:25but mainly if you were saving your life on an island,
14:27you might use it as a tourniquet.
14:29Use one of these as a tourniquet as well, by the way.
14:31Yes.
14:32LAUGHTER
14:33I don't know which bit of your body is that small.
14:37LAUGHTER
14:38She had a nasty cut on your finger.
14:40Oh!
14:41100% wasn't what I was thinking.
14:43LAUGHTER
14:44That's so unsettling to just have that left out on the...
14:48Oh!
14:49Oh!
14:50It's really creepy, isn't it?
14:52It's quite...
14:53It's that little stress toy, isn't it?
14:54ARGH!
14:55ARGH!
14:56ARGH!
14:57ARGH!
14:58I don't know why I'm wincing.
15:00LAUGHTER
15:01Right, Mel, what about your...
15:03How stressed are you?
15:04Oh, my gosh.
15:05Ah, bubble wrap, bubble wrap.
15:06Oh, it's quite just fun to play with, isn't it?
15:08What would you use it for in the wilderness?
15:10OK.
15:11Bubble wrap, is it if the condom breaks,
15:13you can MacGyver another one.
15:15Um...
15:16Wow!
15:17Can you imagine using bubble wrap?
15:18That would be just...
15:19Like, in the actual moment of its use,
15:22it's just, yeah, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
15:24LAUGHTER
15:26Keep you warm, you could wrap up in it.
15:28Yeah?
15:29Is the correct answer.
15:30Oh!
15:31OK.
15:32APPLAUSE
15:33Yeah.
15:34That's also how they store Alan in between series.
15:38LAUGHTER
15:39So, used to ward off hypothermia,
15:41and lots of people do it, the air ambulance service,
15:44sometimes wrap patients in bubble wrap on the way to hospital.
15:47Then they'll be fine if they accidentally drop them.
15:49Yes.
15:50Yes!
15:51That's a very good point.
15:52Although, they have now done scientific studies on this,
15:55because I think people presume the trapped air is going to provide
15:57some kind of insulation, and you might as well put people in a blanket.
16:01Apparently, it doesn't make any difference whatsoever.
16:03But...
16:04Sorry.
16:05That's OK.
16:06People who collect bubble wrap for the air ambulance,
16:08get them a blanket.
16:09Wrap artists.
16:10LAUGHTER
16:12LAUGHTER
16:13How dare you?
16:14Oh.
16:15How dare you?
16:16You're not exactly pulling your weight, you know.
16:18LAUGHTER
16:19If you're heading into the bush,
16:21don't forget to bring a condom.
16:23LAUGHTER
16:24Wow.
16:25I literally just realised what I said.
16:27LAUGHTER
16:30Er, right.
16:31Describe a normal working day for Amy, the human fly.
16:35Woke up.
16:36Took a shit in the marmalade.
16:38LAUGHTER
16:39Ate the shit in the marmalade.
16:41Flew into the window, hurt my head, went to sleep again.
16:44Does she keep sort of heading against a window
16:47and then realising it's the glass ceiling?
16:49Is it that?
16:50Oh, no, I like that.
16:51That's very good.
16:52That's very good.
16:53That's political.
16:54APPLAUSE
16:55Find and avoid Dave the human spider.
16:58LAUGHTER
17:00This was a real person.
17:01She was a novelty act.
17:02OK, so there were special shoes invented
17:05that enabled her to walk on the ceiling.
17:08Oh!
17:09With suckers?
17:10So at first nobody knew and it was a secret as to how it worked,
17:13but she would walk upside down up to 90 feet in the air.
17:15So there she is, ceiling walker.
17:17Mademoiselle Amy, surnamed the human fly.
17:20She was from London but apparently sold more tickets.
17:23Is that...?
17:24Australian novelty.
17:25Oh, that's so classic.
17:26Australian and she's upside down.
17:27Upside down.
17:28Yeah.
17:29That's exactly right.
17:30Anyway, 1887, she's doing her act and she got stuck to the ceiling
17:34because the suction on her shoes proved too strong.
17:37So how did they get her down?
17:39It was a real problem.
17:40She's very high up in the theatre.
17:41Light spray.
17:42LAUGHTER
17:47How long was she up there for?
17:48She was up there for several hours and they couldn't get a ladder to her.
17:51She took her shoes off.
17:52She took her shoes off.
17:53She took her shoes off.
17:54I mean, it's so simple.
17:55LAUGHTER
17:56She fell into the safety net.
17:57Duh!
17:58LAUGHTER
17:59I love that you'd be in the audience going,
18:01just take your bloody shoes off.
18:03LAUGHTER
18:04But you're right, Mel, they were known as an antipodean apparatus
18:07because of the idea that you were upside down.
18:09They were invented by an American mechanical engineer called Walter Hunt
18:12and he tried to keep it secret but, I mean, fundamentally,
18:15not difficult.
18:16Moistened leather suction caps.
18:18LAUGHTER
18:19Moistened leather suction cups.
18:21Can you say that again, please, for TikTok?
18:23Moistened leather suction cups, yeah.
18:24LAUGHTER
18:25I feel this whole show.
18:26Moistened leather suction cups.
18:28Oh, my gosh.
18:29I'll say that and you play with the condom.
18:31LAUGHTER
18:35You ready?
18:36Play with the condom.
18:37Moistened leather suction cups.
18:39LAUGHTER
18:40LAUGHTER
18:46This is like pornography for pensioners, isn't it?
18:48LAUGHTER
18:49Just say moistened and they go,
18:50Woo-hoo!
18:51LAUGHTER
18:52That feels like you could make 500 million on OnlyFans
18:55with that clip.
18:56Really?
18:57No, I think I've got a good voice for porn.
18:58It's quite kind of...
18:59Oh, wow.
19:00And you've got the best hair in the world.
19:01She often says this, Rachel.
19:03Sandy needs to do an advert for her hair.
19:04She needs to tell us how she got it and what she uses.
19:07LAUGHTER
19:08Isn't it?
19:09LAUGHTER
19:10Moistened leather suction cups.
19:12LAUGHTER
19:13LAUGHTER
19:14Yeah, when you say it, it's just creepy.
19:16LAUGHTER
19:17Creepy.
19:18So, Walter Hunt decided that he would teach people how to do this
19:21and one of the people who took him up on this offer
19:23was a guy called Richard Sands.
19:24He was an acrobat and a circus owner.
19:26This is him at Drury Lane using the human flying shoes.
19:30And then, this is a really sad story.
19:32So, 1861, he was in Massachusetts.
19:34He was at some civic event.
19:36And somebody said,
19:37could you just walk on a regular ceiling?
19:38So, here he is walking on a piece of polished marble, right?
19:41And he went, absolutely.
19:43And the shoes worked perfectly,
19:44but the plaster on the ceiling gave work.
19:46Oh!
19:47Yeah.
19:48That's a nightmare.
19:49That was the end of him.
19:50Oh, yeah.
19:51He died?
19:52Killed him, yeah.
19:53Oh, my God.
19:54I thought you meant it was a bad story, like,
19:55he was embarrassed on stage.
19:57LAUGHTER
19:58No.
19:59And then people asked for their money back.
20:00Yeah.
20:01And did they sell the moistened leather suctions?
20:06You can't say it enough, can you?
20:08One previous owner.
20:09LAUGHTER
20:12Plenty of life in these!
20:15Got to get them off the ceiling first.
20:18He's a really interesting guy.
20:20I always love this on QIs,
20:21that you go down a rabbit hole
20:23and then you find something more and more curious.
20:25This guy, Walter Hunt,
20:26the one who invented the shoes for Amy the human fly.
20:28The killer.
20:29The killer, yeah.
20:30He also invented all sorts of things.
20:32He invented an ice-breaking boat,
20:33a street sweeper,
20:34a pedal-activated coach alarm.
20:35He invented a tightrope that snaps.
20:37Yeah.
20:40I have here his most successful invention of all time,
20:44and it is this.
20:46He is the guy that invented the safety pin.
20:49Wow!
20:50I know.
20:51He also invented a mechanical sewing machine,
20:53but both his wife and daughter were seamstresses
20:55and said,
20:56just don't put that out there because we'll be put out of work
20:59and later sewing machine inventors made millions
21:02and he didn't make any money, but he made one.
21:04Yeah.
21:05But this may have Walter Hunt to thank.
21:07I just love the fact that he killed someone,
21:10fallen off the ceiling,
21:11so he decided to put the word safety in the next invention.
21:13Yes.
21:15He could be fine with this.
21:16I feel like we're making him the villain.
21:17I feel like the real villain is the plasterer.
21:19The plasterer.
21:20Yeah.
21:21Would you like to have a go?
21:22I would have a go.
21:23What?
21:24I don't think I'm that agile.
21:25OK.
21:26And also, I've got a massive head.
21:27Have you?
21:28I think it's bigger than average.
21:30Like, hats are a problem.
21:31Well, you could get a moistened leather suction.
21:38I'd hate to see that.
21:42Right.
21:43What might you get up to on a Bulgarian pleasure wheel?
21:46Ooh.
21:47What's a Bulgarian pleasure wheel?
21:49Do you wear it or insert it?
21:50No.
21:51So it used to be another term for those big wheels
21:53that you see at the fairgrounds that people ride on.
21:56Ferris wheel?
21:57Yes.
21:58That is right.
21:59They were, of course, invented by...
22:00Billy Ferris.
22:01Peter Ferris.
22:02Peter Ferris.
22:03Billy's his brother.
22:04No.
22:05Billy Ferris.
22:06Billy Ferris.
22:07No.
22:08Nicky Ferris.
22:09Pan Ferris.
22:10No.
22:11I think they just claxened you, then.
22:12I think that was...
22:13I think...
22:14I'm very upset.
22:15I think I just lost.
22:16You've never been ten points behind it.
22:17I know.
22:18This is very upsetting for me.
22:19George Ferris.
22:20Oh, George Ferris, yeah.
22:21But in fact, they've been around for hundreds of years,
22:22and there was a very famous one in a place called Plovdiv in Bulgaria,
22:24about 1620, something like that.
22:26And as a result, until about the 1800s,
22:27they were known as Bulgarian pleasure wheels or Bulgarian ride,
22:28and that was the name for them in lots of countries around the world.
22:29The very first sighting of one in England, 1728, at the Bartholomew Fair in Smithfield,
22:33where it was called the Ups and Downs.
22:34I don't really like them.
22:35Don't like them.
22:36Why?
22:37I don't like them.
22:38Why?
22:39I don't like them.
22:40Why?
22:41I don't like them.
22:42I don't like them.
22:43Why?
22:44I don't like them.
22:45I don't like them.
22:46Why?
22:47I don't like them.
22:48I don't like them.
22:49Why?
22:50I don't like them.
22:51Why?
22:52When it's rocking a little bit and you feel like,
22:53well, this could go over, surely.
22:54Are we still talking about the Ferris?
22:55And I think it's a lot.
22:56To call it a pleasure wheel, I think you need to be getting, like, a massage, a donut.
23:12Yeah.
23:13It's an endurance wheel, I think.
23:14It's an endurance wheel.
23:15You're absolutely right, Alan.
23:16You know what we should call a pleasure wheel, which I think has a harsh name?
23:20A lazy Susan.
23:22That's a pleasure wheel.
23:23I love a lazy Susan.
23:25Yeah?
23:26Many a meal, I've gone round on one of those.
23:29Were you wearing moistened leather suction?
23:34You think I stayed off?
23:37Faster!
23:38Faster!
23:39Faster!
23:40Faster!
23:41Clicking onto the soy sauce.
23:46George Ferris built a huge one for the 1893 World Columbian Exposition in Chicago.
23:51But he wasn't even the person to propose it as an idea.
23:54And Ferris later admitted he'd already ridden such a wheel in Atlantic City.
23:58One that was built by a man called William Summers.
24:01And he called it an observation roundabout.
24:03Why do you think they wanted a Ferris wheel at the Chicago Exposition?
24:07What else had been built recently that they thought, actually, let's try and rival that and show what an amazing engineering feat we can create?
24:14Empire State Building?
24:15No, Empire State Building is a bit later on.
24:17Statue of Liberty?
24:18So we're going French?
24:19Oh, Eiffel Tower.
24:20Eiffel Tower, exactly right.
24:21So what were they saying?
24:22They were saying that if you went up in the wheel in Chicago, you could see the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
24:27Well, they did have all sorts of ideas of creating a tower for it.
24:31The idea was to create a tower, one of the proposals, that was nine times as high as the Eiffel Tower.
24:37And that it had rails at the top, right, that slipped gradually downwards for hundreds of miles and connected this tall tower to distant cities.
24:45Which I just think is a fantastic idea.
24:47Of course, never happened.
24:49But I think it's a wonderful idea.
24:51So the idea that you would go up into this tower and then take some kind of toboggan home, you know, if you lived in Milwaukee.
24:58You could walk down with the moistened leather suction cups right there.
25:02There were also people who suggested having cars connected to a very large tower on rubber bands that could then shoot out and come back again.
25:09Wow.
25:10The Ferris wheel suddenly looking quite...
25:11You were insane.
25:12I like the London Eye.
25:14Do you?
25:15I would think it's the best thing in London, actually.
25:17Do you? Why?
25:18It's a really good view.
25:20You can see everything.
25:21You said, I hate Ferris wheels.
25:23Yeah.
25:24But you love the London Eye.
25:25But why would it be OK to hate Ferris wheels and love the London Eye?
25:28Brexit.
25:29It's not a Ferris wheel.
25:34Oh, OK, yeah.
25:36It's not a Ferris wheel.
25:37It's an observation wheel, OK?
25:39Oh, OK.
25:40Because the pods are all fixed on the outside of the rim.
25:42On a Ferris wheel, they're fixed into the rim as you go round.
25:45I mean, it's a subtle distinction.
25:46And you sit with strangers in those little pods?
25:49Yes.
25:50For a romantic moment, you can book out a whole pod, which I have done.
25:52But say you just want to be on your own, can you pretend you're having a romantic moment?
25:56LAUGHTER
25:57Just getting by yourself.
26:00I took my then four-year-old stepdaughter for the very first time.
26:04And when we got to the very top, I said, are you enjoying the London Eye?
26:07And she looked out and she went, where's it gone?
26:09LAUGHTER
26:10OK.
26:11Just before we move on, we glossed over your buying out a pod for a romantic encounter.
26:26I want to know what happened.
26:28Reader, I married her.
26:29Aw!
26:31Did you propose on the wheel?
26:32That's cute.
26:33No, she proposed to me in the bath.
26:34LAUGHTER
26:35You took a bath on the wheel.
26:36I took a bath on the wheel.
26:37LAUGHTER
26:38One was built in Earls Court in 1895, rather aptly named the Great Wheel.
26:50It was the largest wheel in the world, the tallest structure in London at the time, other
26:54than, I think, St Paul's Cathedral.
26:56380 feet tall.
26:57One occasion, 70 people were stuck in it overnight and they were compensated five pa...
27:01Oh, are you OK?
27:02I don't want to be stuck in it overnight.
27:04So what happened was, the people who got stuck in it overnight were compensated five pounds,
27:07which was a huge sum of money in 1895, and so people rode it even more, hoping it would break.
27:14LAUGHTER
27:15How do they have a wee? Can you open the window?
27:18I'm going to need a wee. I'm up twice a night needing a wee.
27:21LAUGHTER
27:22You really want to get stuck at the top of the wheel, then, don't you?
27:25You don't want to be at the bottom like, hold it in!
27:28LAUGHTER
27:29You know, there are people who go on, who live their retirement years on cruise ships,
27:33because it's cheaper than living in a flat.
27:35LAUGHTER
27:36Well, could you get a pod on the London Eye as you're...
27:39LAUGHTER
27:41Just living it.
27:42LAUGHTER
27:43Just living it for the rest of your life, going round and round.
27:45Oh, my God.
27:46You've got your bed in there, you've got your TV, obviously you've got curtains.
27:49You can't use that one, he lives in that.
27:51LAUGHTER
27:53But maybe, probably if you get struck by lightning, that would be a shocker, wouldn't it?
27:56Would you get me a pint?
27:58LAUGHTER
28:02These are the sort of conversations you can enjoy
28:05if you're trapped with Ellen on the London Eye!
28:08LAUGHTER
28:09OK, moving along.
28:11Um...
28:12What are these birds trying to achieve?
28:15Anybody know what the bird is?
28:17It's an American wading bird.
28:19Anybody know what...
28:20What do you think they're doing?
28:21They're all doing it.
28:22Are they eating or trying to have intercourse?
28:24They're hunting by whirling, is what they do.
28:26It's called a Wilson's phalarope.
28:28Swim round and round on the water in really tight, fast circles,
28:31and what it does is it makes like a whirlpool,
28:34and it sucks up insects and small crustaceans from underneath.
28:37It's so effective that they eat so much,
28:40sometimes they double in size and then can't fly off.
28:44LAUGHTER
28:46They fall into that buffet.
28:47Yeah!
28:48LAUGHTER
28:49It's a one-duck lazy Susan, that thing.
28:51Yeah, absolutely.
28:52They're very unusual amongst birds in that the females
28:55are more aggressive and more striking, vibrant colours,
28:58and that is because the females are polyandrous,
29:01so they take multiple male partners
29:03and their role is to compete and to attract multiple males.
29:06They lay up to four clutches of eggs per breeding season
29:09with different fathers and they abandon the eggs
29:12as soon as they find another male.
29:13Oh, man, I'd love to see that spin off of Bummer Mia, wouldn't you?
29:16LAUGHTER
29:18They lead the males to look after the eggs
29:20and to incubate the chicks and they just go off
29:22and find another partner.
29:23What do the men do?
29:24Look after the babies.
29:25That is good stuff.
29:27Yeah.
29:28I'm keen on a Wilson's phalarope.
29:30Geese also whirl.
29:31I don't know if you've ever seen this.
29:32This is one of those amazing things.
29:34So when they're in flight,
29:36they sometimes spin their whole body around to fly upside down
29:40and keep their heads the right way up.
29:43And what it does is it causes their altitude to drop really suddenly.
29:47So if you suddenly wanted to duck out of the way of a predator,
29:50it is called whistling.
29:52But I love that you were saying...
29:53I mean, that's clever.
29:55But alternative B is stop flapping your wings.
29:59LAUGHTER
30:00Yeah.
30:01Oh, I want to descend.
30:02Oh, yeah.
30:03LAUGHTER
30:04But it's interesting, the whole thing about whirling.
30:06So they did a study of gorillas and chimps and orangutans
30:09and so on in 2023 at Warwick University.
30:12And they do this a lot, right?
30:14Oh, my God.
30:15They do it round and round and round.
30:16And what they've now decided is they're just wanting to get dizzy.
30:20Oh, my gosh.
30:21And it's a bit like taking a mind-altering substance.
30:24Oh, wow.
30:25Kids do that.
30:26Yeah.
30:27Kids would get on the swing and then twist it and twist it
30:30and then let go.
30:31Oh, they love that.
30:32Or they just go in the living room and go round and round and round
30:35and round until they fall into the fireplace and crack their heads off.
30:38LAUGHTER
30:39Do you think the monkeys do the same thing,
30:41where they spin around and they get dizzy and then they text their ex?
30:45LAUGHTER
30:47We talked about Bulgarian wheels in the last question.
30:49What was the Dutch whimsy?
30:51Does it involve sticking a finger in a dike?
30:54LAUGHTER
30:56LAUGHTER
30:57LAUGHTER
30:58LAUGHTER
30:59LAUGHTER
31:00LAUGHTER
31:01LAUGHTER
31:02LAUGHTER
31:03LAUGHTER
31:04LAUGHTER
31:05APPLAUSE
31:06APPLAUSE
31:07There used to be frost fairs.
31:08Certainly they had them in London in the 17th to the 19th century
31:10when the Thames used to freeze over.
31:11And what they would do is they would get a boat or a sledge or something
31:15and tie it to a pole and then they would spin it round and round and round.
31:28And it was called a Dutch whimsy.
31:30Oh.
31:31Yeah.
31:32It was a popular ice-based activity.
31:34Oh, sometimes you think, oh, kids have got too much time on the internet
31:36and then you see that and you think, yeah, they needed the internet.
31:38LAUGHTER
31:39Now, what's the most fun you can have with a wok?
31:46You can spin in a wok?
31:48Yes, kind of.
31:49Yeah.
31:50There used to be one in the park.
31:51It's like a wok.
31:52You put the kids in it and then you spin it round and round
31:54and they can't stop it.
31:56LAUGHTER
31:58Their arms and legs are out, their bum's in it,
32:00and they're going round and round.
32:01Ah!
32:02Ah!
32:03Ah!
32:04Like, yeah, it's a bit like that.
32:06OK, so we are heading in the right direction.
32:08I don't know if there's big enough on my bottom, but...
32:10Oh, you can go down a mountain in it.
32:11Yes!
32:12Yes!
32:13Yes, you can.
32:14Wok racing.
32:15Oh, my God!
32:16Yes!
32:17Yes!
32:18It's a winter sport.
32:20That guy looks like he knows that's a bad idea.
32:23Look at his expression.
32:24I'll go for those two died, by the way.
32:27LAUGHTER
32:28So, it's a proper sport.
32:29There's a world championships and everything.
32:31So, they've got a bit of padding round the edge,
32:33but that is basically just a kitchen-quality Chinese wok.
32:36It started as a joke in 2003.
32:39So, the guy on the right is a German comedian called Stefan Raab,
32:43and he was on a game show called Wanna Bet,
32:45and he quipped that he would do this idea.
32:47There have been 15 world championships since then.
32:51Wow.
32:52The most successful wok racer is the guy on the left.
32:54He's a three-time Olympic gold medalist at the Luge,
32:57and he's called Gail Cattle.
32:59But he is a phenomenal wok racer.
33:02He's got little woks on his feet. Look!
33:04Towel feet woks.
33:05Ladels.
33:06They're ladels.
33:07They're ladels?
33:08Yes.
33:09LAUGHTER
33:10Individual racers can reach 60 miles an hour.
33:15Wow.
33:16And then they also have a four-person wok sled,
33:18where they have four woks in a row connected by wood,
33:21and they get up to 75 miles.
33:24Oh, my gosh!
33:25They do run a proper luge run.
33:27Well, of course.
33:28I mean, obviously, you would, wouldn't you?
33:29Yeah.
33:30You wouldn't do it down a high street.
33:32No.
33:33I mean, if you do the race, and at the end,
33:36it shouldn't end when they get over the line,
33:38they then have to cook a stir-fry on.
33:40LAUGHTER
33:41You sit on a stir-fry,
33:43and by the time you get to the bottom, that's cooked.
33:45LAUGHTER
33:47Well, let's get on to the cooking,
33:49cos we've got the wok here.
33:51Does anybody know what is the best way to toss a wok?
33:54You go down, you go down, and then up.
33:57Down and up.
33:58It's a down and up motion.
33:59OK, but it's...
34:00I don't know...
34:01Not like that.
34:02It'll go everywhere.
34:03You've got to go up, like that, like that.
34:05Right.
34:06It's really heavy, can I just say?
34:07Yeah.
34:08So this is a proper professional one.
34:09So have a go, darling, cos it is really a heavy thing.
34:11Ooh!
34:12LAUGHTER
34:18Oh, God.
34:19My anus just winked.
34:21LAUGHTER
34:24Wow.
34:25Take me to your leader.
34:27Is this heavy, though, isn't it?
34:29No, it's not heavy, Sandy.
34:30Oh, OK.
34:31It's not heavy at all.
34:32It's just like that.
34:33You go down and up, and then it goes.
34:34I'm imagining it.
34:35OK.
34:36They're just going up.
34:37OK.
34:38So the Cantonese, they have a term called wok A,
34:40and it means the breath of the wok.
34:41About 550 degrees Celsius.
34:43It's phenomenally hot.
34:44And if you just left it at that high heat,
34:47these incredibly intense temperatures, it would burn.
34:49So that's why you toss it.
34:51And you cool it down by sticking your arse in it
34:53and going down a snow mountain.
34:55LAUGHTER
34:56Would you use it as a hat?
34:57Would that work?
34:58Oh, fuck!
34:59LAUGHTER
35:00LAUGHTER
35:01I feel you've been as stupid as you can be.
35:03LAUGHTER
35:04And then something happens.
35:05LAUGHTER
35:06It's been so annoying.
35:07It's really going to stop letting him get myself quite hearted in it.
35:12LAUGHTER
35:13It's really going to stop letting him get myself...
35:14LAUGHTER
35:15I want to get myself quite hearted in it.
35:17LAUGHTER
35:19And then something happens.
35:23It means someone's not doing such a good thing.
35:27It's really going to stop, isn't he?
35:31I'm going to hit myself quite hard with it.
35:35It's deceptive, it's not as deep as you think.
35:39I'm going really slowly now.
35:43Who do you think you are feeling this long time?
35:47Oh, this is weird. When you're in it, it echoes your voice.
35:51I think we've answered the question of the most fun thing to do
35:55with a wok is to give it to Alan.
35:59Somebody did a scientific study, the physics of tossing fries.
36:03And it's 2.7 times per second that you're supposed to be doing
36:07the tossing, and two-thirds of all professional chefs, Chinese chefs,
36:11have chronic shoulder pain. Yeah. You all right?
36:15I think I'll be all right. I mean, I might get a lump, you know.
36:19Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.
36:21See, you won't remember any of it.
36:23LAUGHTER
36:25We're getting Sky Sports. I'll talk to you later.
36:29You look like a real old-fashioned photographer.
36:33Professioned photographer
36:41It's all right for you three because you go home after this I stay here with
36:56Into the whirligig that we call general ignorance fingers on buzzers, please. What is in this dish?
37:03Shh
37:06Seaweed
37:11Call it seaweed. It isn't seaweed. Is it the remains of what was in the walk after you go down the mountain?
37:19Is it cabbage?
37:21Kale is kind of cabbage. Spring greens or kale. Different types of cabbage cut into thin strands. It's never seaweed. No, it's never seaweed. What are you telling me here, Sandy?
37:29Why do they call it seaweed?
37:32It was originally algae specifically called tai chow which is kind of like a seaweed but in this country
37:39It is typically kale or spring greens and salt and sugar and Chinese five spice. So I could make it. Yes
37:46So what are we saying? Are we saying crispy duck is chicken?
37:51It seems to be pretty much a British Chinese invention. So I love it as well
37:56I think it's absolutely fantastic
37:57The port of Ningbo which is on the very sort of eastern part of the Chinese mainland
38:01There was a dish that was rather similar which was peanuts and this algae
38:05So is the stuff that your sushi is wrapped in seaweed or is that something else? That is seaweed. Oh, okay, okay
38:10But there's a lot of stuff where we eat stuff that we think is very Chinese and it isn't crispy aromatic duck with pancakes
38:16There's another thing they don't they don't have oh wow they have a different menu
38:19There was a Chinese restaurant that we used to go to a lot
38:23Downstairs there was karaoke and there were a lot of Chinese people and upstairs. It was all us eating stuff like that
38:28Yeah, I said, what are they eating down there? She goes Chinese menu. I said what's on it?
38:32She said I I don't want to tell you because you would never eat here again
38:37It's prepared in a very different way the chef first of all hits himself over the head
38:45Now the Benin bronzes are a group of sculptures found in museums around the world
38:50Can you name either the modern-day country of origin or the material that most of them are made from?
38:58Are they bronze?
39:00I'm gonna give you that because you said are they bright was a question was it?
39:06Yes, I didn't say
39:08But you said bronze sandy another five points of you
39:12Made from brass and not bronze, but where are they from Benin bronzes?
39:18Does it really matter they're probably stolen and they're here in London?
39:20I think that's a really good answer because they were of course he looted by british colonial troops in 1897
39:31So i'm going to give you five points for that
39:33Yes, we've got a distinction here between the kingdom of benin and the republic of benin
39:47So there was this kingdom starts about 900 and then goes on to the late 19th century when the british bring an end to it
39:53Then the bit of water around that curve is the bite of benin
39:59And then the republic of benin was named after the bite of benin
40:04But it's about 5 000 artworks made by the edo people of nigeria
40:08Mostly in the 15th 16th century. They're extraordinary and they ought to be where?
40:12In a museum in london. No
40:15Nowadays it's very important that antiquities are spread throughout the united kingdom
40:19Not just
40:27Can i just say i'm sorry he's been hit on the head
40:31Here's a history question king ethelred wasn't
40:35Someone say it i'm not saying it
40:38Touching himself
40:41He looks like he's just stuck above the top of the wheel and he just sat there for the night
40:50That hat is definitely a moist and leather suction
40:55It's a change in the ceiling
40:58With the walk
41:00Are you wanting ready is that what you wanted
41:07So what do we think it means he was known as ethelred the unready what does it mean
41:11It has nothing to do with being ready. Okay. He couldn't read
41:15No, he's unready
41:17Actually the walk has made him smarter. I will say that that was a good gift. Yeah, that was good. Yeah, he was ill-advised
41:23Is the thing that's actually what it means. He wasn't readied
41:26That's what i say when i'm late so i was ill-advised the time
41:31Word raid went council or advice so if you were unraid you had no council or you had bad advice
41:36He ruled england from 978 to 1013 and then again from 1014 to 1016 from 980 the danish viking
41:43I
41:44Feel I should apologize at this point um the danish vikings regularly raided
41:49The english shores and his first thing to do was he paid the danes loads of money to stay away and that didn't work
41:55Then he tried massacring danish settlers and then he lost his throne to denmark's swine fork beard
42:01um
42:03We thought it was a perfectly sensible name
42:08He doesn't look very smart if you're the king and then someone shows you that as your painting yeah, and you don't go are you joking yeah
42:17It's not going to go well on a coin is it so it's about 150 years after he died
42:21He was first called unready but it just means
42:24Bad advice red is advice so for example ethelred the unready translates as noble council no council
42:30So the red in alfred has the same root and so alfred means elf
42:35council
42:36Another obsolete meaning of the word unready is to get naked
42:40I'd say i'm unready when i'm naked not ready at all all right i'm unready
42:44unready
42:49Whenever i end up naked i normally say i'm ill-advised
42:54Then you turn away with embarrassment in your ass winks it's very it's all
42:57All of which brings us to the weird and wonderful matter of the scores let's take a look in last place
43:04I mean blinking useless with minus 21
43:07It's got no brains left it's alan
43:13In third place marginally better than a poke in the eye with two whole points mel
43:17And in third place nudge nudge wink wink say no more it's paddy and rasheen
43:25That's it for this edition of qi thanks to rasheen patrick mel and alan and i
43:41Leave you with this reflection from the writer gene kerr i feel about aeroplanes the way i feel about diets
43:47It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on good night
43:51Thank you
43:53Thank you
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