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00:00MUSIC
00:24Good evening, welcome to Would I Lie To You At Christmas,
00:28a very special festive edition that sorts the facts from the fibs.
00:33On Lee Mack's team tonight, all the way from the last leg,
00:36it's Alex Brooker.
00:41And a legendary star of stage and screen,
00:44it's the one and only Melvin Hayes.
00:51And on David Mitchell's team tonight,
00:53joining us from the BBC breakfast sofa, it's Naga Muncheti.
00:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:01And she's the writer and broadcaster
01:03who's chosen to spend even more time with David this Christmas.
01:07It's Victoria Corrin-Mitchell.
01:13We begin with round one, Home Truths,
01:15where our panellists read out a statement from the card in front of them.
01:18To make things harder, they've never seen the card before,
01:21they have no idea what they'll be faced with.
01:23It's up to the opposing team to sort the fact from the fiction.
01:27Alex is first tonight.
01:29OK.
01:32One Christmas, I had to ask the bin men for some of their tip back
01:36after I accidentally gave them an envelope containing 500 quid
01:40meant for my builder.
01:42LAUGHTER
01:43It's David's team.
01:44Oh, right.
01:45So, when was this?
01:47This was about six years ago.
01:49I mean, you're evading VAT, that's what you're basically saying.
01:53LAUGHTER
01:54It's not illegal to pay cash.
01:55Yeah.
01:56It could be that he was paying, I don't know, £420 plus VAT.
01:58Were you paying £420 plus VAT?
02:00No, he just wanted cash in round 500 quid.
02:03LAUGHTER
02:05So, you'd prepared, like the beginning of a thriller,
02:09a second envelope with a different amount in it for the bin men?
02:12Yeah, so if I don't see them, I'll just leave it out.
02:15On the bin?
02:16Yeah, like, just behind the bin, they know.
02:18So, when did you realise that something was wrong?
02:21Well, when I got in and went to pay the builder and it was 20 quid.
02:25LAUGHTER
02:26What did you do?
02:27Just phone up, like, Huddersfield Council.
02:30And luckily, they were honest.
02:31Right.
02:32They were honest bin men.
02:33Question from Melvin Hall.
02:34Yes.
02:35As an onlooker.
02:36Yeah.
02:39I believe him.
02:40Yeah.
02:43Thank you, Melvin.
02:48So, you ring up the council.
02:50Yeah.
02:51It's quite difficult getting through to the council, I find, on the phone.
02:54There's usually a long phone menu.
02:56I've never listened all the way to the end, but maybe there's one,
02:58if you've accidentally given £480 in cash to the bin men at Christmas,
03:03press nine.
03:04Yeah.
03:05As far as I can remember, it was fairly, fairly straightforward.
03:09And what did you say?
03:10I just said, look, I live at this address.
03:13And the person said what?
03:15What?
03:16You're being very, very confrontational tonight, David.
03:19Look at you.
03:20You sat forward.
03:21Is it because Victoria's here?
03:24You're like a stag, stood at the top of a mountain.
03:28Look at him.
03:29He's like this.
03:30I'll tell you about this.
03:33Showing off in front of your wife.
03:35Do you tip the bin men and the recycling men separately?
03:40No, it's the same people.
03:41On the same day?
03:42No, it's week on, week off.
03:44One week they're coming and doing the recycling,
03:46and one week they're coming and doing the bins.
03:48So they're there every week.
03:49Well, they do the recycling every week,
03:50but they take the green every two weeks.
03:52Yeah.
03:53What about the brown ones?
03:54Well, they go every week.
03:55No, no, my brown ones don't.
03:57My brown ones go every two weeks.
03:59Do they?
04:00Blue every two, green every two, brown every two.
04:02What are you putting in your brown?
04:03Well, I'm putting my garden waste in my brown.
04:05What's in your green?
04:06My normal.
04:07Green recycling, brown food waste.
04:10Oh, no, no.
04:11Food waste is in a small green one that you have to have to bleed this up.
04:14No, small brown one.
04:15Small grey one.
04:16No, not to you.
04:18Welcome to a brand new BBC show, Scenes from the Care Home.
04:23Right.
04:25So what do we reckon then, Victoria?
04:29You see, I don't think anyone just leaves £20 on a bin
04:33in the hope that the right people will grab it in the morning.
04:36What do you offer your bin men at Christmas?
04:38It depends what time of day they turn up, Rob.
04:46I also cannot believe that anyone doesn't know the difference
04:51between £500 in an envelope and £20 in an envelope.
04:54Unless you are so minted that you just don't care.
05:03So you can say lie?
05:04We think lie.
05:05We think lie.
05:06Yeah.
05:07Okay, Alex, they are unequivocal in thinking it's a lie.
05:09Was it a lie or was it actually true?
05:12Well, it was...
05:14a lie.
05:20Yes, it's a lie.
05:21Alex didn't ask the bin men for their tip back.
05:25Victoria, you're next.
05:26For our first Christmas together as husband and wife,
05:30David was startled by one of the gifts I got him.
05:34Please, Tim.
05:36It wasn't making a noise inside the wrapping paper, was it?
05:38What, a puppy?
05:39Well, I was thinking more of a rabbit.
05:44So, I suppose the big question is what was the present?
05:48It was, you'll like this, Lee, it was some sexy underwear.
05:52Oh, why would I like that?
05:54I'm always telling Victoria how attractive you find me.
05:58Who was to wear the underwear?
05:59It was, I bought... for David to wear.
06:00Look at David's face!
06:02So, it's for David, to describe the underwear.
06:04This is very awkward.
06:06Describe...
06:08I mean, this is genuinely...
06:10This is the stuff of nightmare.
06:12If it helps in any way, I'm absolutely...
06:14I don't know.
06:15I'm just kidding.
06:16I'm just kidding.
06:17I'm just kidding.
06:18I don't know.
06:19I'm just kidding.
06:21I'm just kidding.
06:22I'm just kidding.
06:24I'm just kidding.
06:25I don't know.
06:26I'm just kidding.
06:27If it helps in any way, I'm absolutely loving it.
06:30All right.
06:31So, David, who's broadly of the school of, I mean, is this...
06:40This, this is, this is dreadful.
06:45When we'll have been single for a long time,
06:47they've got their loose cotton boxes, they don't think,
06:50oh, I tell you what, I'll have a pair of these snug-fitting trunks.
06:54Can we, can we just...
06:55Is that what we're talking about?
06:57So, we're not talking about straps and things and...
06:59We're not talking about restraining bolts and things like that.
07:04Nothing like that.
07:06I'm just going to say, if at times in the future when I face adversity,
07:11I will look back and say,
07:12well, at least I'm not going through this.
07:17Can I just say something?
07:18Yes.
07:20This is so much better than dustbins.
07:22LAUGHTER
07:25So, it's Christmas morning, it's your first Christmas together
07:35as a married couple.
07:37You hand him this package, he opens it.
07:40Talk us through the moment of realisation.
07:42He sort of went, oh, it's underpants.
07:45And then he realised they were a bit clingy
07:49and possibly, in David's mind, somewhat French, you know.
07:55LAUGHTER
07:56How long did it take before he wore them?
07:58Has he ever worn them?
07:59Oh, yes.
08:00LAUGHTER
08:02APPLAUSE
08:04From that day forward, that was his new style of choice.
08:10So, even as we speak, he sat there now with something clinging to his midriff.
08:18I'm so sorry.
08:19LAUGHTER
08:21So, it wasn't like his main present, there was other stuff.
08:24There was some other stuff.
08:25Can you remember anything else that you've got in there?
08:26You know, some books and a DVD and...
08:29What were the books?
08:31LAUGHTER
08:33The Bible and Fifty Shades of Grey.
08:35LAUGHTER
08:41So, Melvin, what do you make of this?
08:43I'm just excited.
08:45LAUGHTER
08:49What do we think, truth or lie?
08:51I just... So, what do you think, Alex?
08:52I could imagine you'd definitely be startled by it, but...
08:55Well, that bit, I...
08:57If David's worn the same pair of pants all of his life until that moment,
09:00and I suspect he has.
09:01The same pair of pants.
09:02LAUGHTER
09:04The same type of pants.
09:07I think it's true.
09:08You do.
09:09So, Melvin thinks it's true, Alex?
09:11I hope it's true.
09:14You're going to say that it's true.
09:15OK, they think it's true.
09:17Victoria, was it true or was it a lie?
09:20It is...
09:22True.
09:23LAUGHTER
09:24Yes, it's true, Victoria did startle David with one of her Christmas gifts.
09:33Melvin, you're next.
09:37I was once given just half an hour to learn how to drive a double-decker bus
09:43along the edge of a cliff.
09:45LAUGHTER
09:46What's this all about?
09:55David's team.
09:57When was this?
09:58It was in the 60s.
09:59And for what purpose?
10:01What was this for?
10:02Well, it was for a film.
10:03Which film was this, then?
10:04It was called Summer Holiday.
10:06Summer Holiday, yeah.
10:07APPLAUSE
10:09I was on the edge of this mountain road, uh, and there was a sheer drop.
10:14You couldn't see the ground below.
10:15And the director said to me,
10:18If I wave my left arm, you're too near the edge.
10:24If I wave my right arm, you're too near the wall of the cliff.
10:29And I drive straight at him.
10:31And when I get within 50 yards, he takes out a loud halo and says,
10:36We're zooming in for a close-up.
10:39Try and look frightened.
10:41LAUGHTER
10:42And all I could think, I looked behind me before I did,
10:48and there were these famous faces looking at me.
10:51Who was there, Melvin?
10:52There was a young man called Cliff Richard.
10:55Yay!
10:56There was Eunice Stubbs, there was the Shadows.
10:58What are the Shadows that they cast?
11:01LAUGHTER
11:03And you genuinely, they only gave you half an hour to learn to drive a bus.
11:07Yeah, because I wasn't Cliff.
11:09Cliff Richard I'm talking about, not the Cliff.
11:12Can I ask you this question?
11:14Eunice Stubbs said of that film,
11:16that she found it impossible to remember the plot or any of her lines,
11:19because Cliff Richard was so beautiful,
11:21she couldn't stop staring at him.
11:23Did you have that problem?
11:24LAUGHTER
11:27Yeah!
11:28LAUGHTER
11:30APPLAUSE
11:35Nigel, what do you think?
11:36It's so plausible and it's a brilliant story.
11:40Too brilliant to be a lie.
11:41Victoria.
11:42Summer Holiday is one of my all-time favourite films.
11:45Somebody gave an unforgettable performance as the bus driver.
11:48You decide if that was Melvin Hayes or not.
11:50LAUGHTER
11:51I mean, I think the only question about the plausibility of this at all
11:55is whether you had so little training for that scene.
11:58And frankly, we all have quite a prejudiced view of the past.
12:01And so I think we can all believe that in that era of filmmaking,
12:05they were that careless with talents of your magnitude.
12:10So, um, yes.
12:11APPLAUSE
12:12Well said, well said.
12:16So, they think it's true.
12:19Melvin, was it true or was it a lie?
12:21I am so sorry.
12:23It's true.
12:24LAUGHTER
12:30Our next round is called This Is My,
12:33where we bring on a mystery guest who has a close connection
12:36to one of our panellists.
12:38This week, each of David's team will claim it's them
12:40that has the genuine connection to the guest
12:42and it's up to Lee's team to spot who's telling the truth.
12:45So, please welcome this week's special celebrity guest, Patti Boulay.
12:50APPLAUSE
12:53Patti Boulay!
12:55Patti Boulay!
12:57APPLAUSE
12:59So, Victoria, what is Patti to you?
13:06This is Patti.
13:08When she starred in a pantomime of Aladdin, I was in the same production.
13:15Right. Naga, how do you know Patti?
13:18This is Patti.
13:20When we appeared on the Pointless Celebrities Christmas special,
13:24we both failed to identify someone from a picture who's in this room.
13:29LAUGHTER
13:30Oh, right.
13:31And, David, finally, what's your relationship with Patti?
13:35This is Patti.
13:36At a Christmas concert, she handed me a mince pie
13:39to cure my rumbly tummy that was ruining Silent Night.
13:44LAUGHTER
13:45So, there we have it.
13:47Lee, where will you begin?
13:49So, Victoria, when was this?
13:51Some time in the 90s.
13:54But you weren't an actress, were you?
13:56No, well, it was a non-speaking role.
13:58Oh. What was the role?
14:00I was the lion.
14:03Oh, you were in a costume?
14:04Yes.
14:05I'm trying to remember where the lion...
14:08Yeah.
14:09..features in that classic story of Aladdin.
14:11Well, as I say, it wasn't a big role, and I'll be honest,
14:15I was only in it one time.
14:17What happened was, I was telling a friend of mine
14:20that I had never seen a panto before, and she worked at a newspaper,
14:25and she said, oh, I can probably get you some free tickets to that.
14:28And I said, great.
14:29And then she rang me back the next day and said,
14:31better still, you can be in it.
14:35It was a promotional stunt.
14:36There's a lion that is in the show every night,
14:39and it's in a costume, and it was, oh, my goodness, a lion.
14:42Ah!
14:43Oh, my goodness, a lion.
14:44What's that doing in a lad, do you know?
14:48And who was Patti playing in this?
14:50Patti was, of course...
14:51Of course she was a lad.
14:53Roulette, I should say, was the principal boy.
14:55Who else was in it?
14:56What are the names?
14:57I'm glad you asked me that question.
14:58Dennis Waterman.
15:01And Barry from Heidi High.
15:04He was the game.
15:05Right, so was there a regular lion that you replaced?
15:11Yeah, I think there was always a lion in it.
15:13Played by the same person every night?
15:15Well, I don't know, I was only there one time.
15:17Did you not ask if you're putting someone out of a job?
15:19It was all a bit of a blur.
15:22Dennis Waterman sang the Minder theme tune.
15:25Barry from Heidi High said, I'm off to Burger King.
15:27Mine's a whopper.
15:28And then there was a bit...
15:31I think you're telling the truth, because I knew Barry,
15:34and he was a whopper.
15:35LAUGHTER
15:43Who would you like to quiz next, Lee?
15:45Er, Nagget, could you tell me how you know Patti?
15:47That's Patti Boulay!
15:49Could you tell me how you know Patti Boulay?
15:52We appeared on a pointless celebrity's Christmas special.
15:57And one of the rounds involved identifying people.
16:01Right.
16:02And one of the pictures was of someone on this stage.
16:07Right. Were you...
16:07And we failed to identify them correctly.
16:10Well, tell you what, don't tell us who it was.
16:12Tell us what the question was.
16:13Is that how it works, or pointless?
16:14You had a picture screen that you looked at,
16:17and there were something like, um, nine pictures.
16:21Yeah.
16:21And they were all of famous northerners.
16:24LAUGHTER
16:31David, David, Merry Christmas.
16:37So it's me?
16:38Yeah.
16:39HE LAUGHS
16:40OK.
16:42I think, from memory, you can't get help off Patti.
16:44No, but in the celebrity one, you can.
16:47Everyone whispers.
16:48You can get help off Patti?
16:49So even Patti doesn't know who I am?
16:51LAUGHTER
16:54For God's sake, Patti!
16:56When you walked on, I went,
16:57WAIT, IT'S PATTY BOULET!
16:59LAUGHTER
17:00Yes!
17:01OH, IT'S PATTY BOULET!
17:03LAUGHTER
17:04AND YOU DIDN'T RECOGNIZE THIS!
17:06LAUGHTER
17:08Lee, sit down.
17:12Right, you know, before, when I said,
17:13Oh, my God, it's Patti Boulay, I don't want that in the edit.
17:16LAUGHTER
17:17I don't want you to use this instead.
17:19Who's that woman stood up?
17:21LAUGHTER
17:23Who is she?
17:25APPLAUSE
17:27I can't know.
17:28So who did you think Lee was, then, when you made the guess?
17:33LAUGHTER
17:35If you say Brad Pitt, I'll forgive you.
17:37LAUGHTER
17:39I don't think we need to ask David about his.
17:55LAUGHTER
17:56This is one of the best shows we've ever done.
17:58LAUGHTER
17:59His question, had it been a picture of Rob,
18:02if the category was Welsh people, would you have recognised Rob?
18:06Of course.
18:07LAUGHTER
18:10You've done Pointless, haven't you?
18:11Yeah.
18:12So, with Pointless, you have to get the least...
18:15If it was the least recognisable person...
18:17So you had a go at Lee?
18:20LAUGHTER
18:21You'd get fewer points.
18:23Well, I mean, it sounds like a very good strategy.
18:25I would have gone for him as well, actually.
18:28LAUGHTER
18:29What I love most about this is, even if it's a lie,
18:32she still says she thinks you look like Jimmy Nowher.
18:35LAUGHTER
18:36Do you know what?
18:37That's the worst bit.
18:38Because if you had to think on the spot and that...
18:41LAUGHTER
18:42Well, here's the thing, Lee, here's the thing, Naga.
18:44We've managed to find a picture of Jimmy Nowher.
18:48LAUGHTER
18:50Well, yeah, look at that, yes!
18:53Can we put that next to Lee?
18:58LAUGHTER
19:02Well, well, well.
19:03All right, are you happy to move on to David?
19:05David, remind me, please.
19:07Well, Patty handed me a mince pie at a Christmas concert
19:10because my rumbly tummy was making a noise over Silent Night.
19:16It was ruining it.
19:17LAUGHTER
19:18And was Patty on stage singing?
19:20No.
19:21Where was she?
19:22She was next to me, listening to the concert, holding a mince pie.
19:25Where was this, David?
19:27It was at the Royal Albert Hall.
19:29Oh, lovely.
19:30I don't care about any other question than the one I'm going to ask.
19:32OK.
19:33Did she recognise you?
19:33LAUGHTER
19:35I mean, look, I don't know, she seemed to.
19:38Ah-ha!
19:39So, no!
19:40LAUGHTER
19:42Is there any significance about the word silence from Silent Night
19:47to the rumbling noise in your tummy?
19:49I think there is significance there, yes.
19:51I think that the rumbling...
19:52Because Silent Night, obviously, it's horrendously mistitled,
19:56what they should say, Quiet Night, because it is obviously audible,
20:00and it wouldn't be the successful carol it is if it were entirely silent.
20:07But nevertheless, it's one of the quieter ones,
20:09and the noise my stomach was making would have been less of a problem
20:13during, say, Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.
20:15LAUGHTER
20:17I'm sorry I asked.
20:19LAUGHTER
20:20So what?
20:21People often are.
20:22LAUGHTER
20:24Did you say you were near the front?
20:25No, I didn't say that.
20:26We were in a box.
20:27Oh.
20:28What was the occasion?
20:29It was like a BBC hospitality thing.
20:32Your stomach was that loud that it was audible for...
20:35It was actually ruining the performance?
20:36I don't think it was audible throughout the hall.
20:39LAUGHTER
20:41What sort of noises was it making?
20:42Because stomachs make a variety.
20:44It could be a gurgle.
20:46It could be a whine.
20:47It could be all sorts of things.
20:48Just recreate for us using that versatile tool of yours.
20:53Um...
20:53Oh, no, I thought I'd use my mouth, but OK.
20:58Just recreate for us the sort of sounds that Patty would have heard.
21:01I think there was sort of, there were...
21:02Oh, ah, ee.
21:04Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:09And Patty heard this and proffered a mince pie.
21:13Yeah.
21:13Was she sat behind you or in front of you?
21:15Er, no.
21:16LAUGHTER
21:18Was she sat to the side of you?
21:20That's it.
21:20LAUGHTER
21:22Right next to me.
21:23She was next to you.
21:24Right there.
21:24Didn't I ask earlier if she was next to you and you said no?
21:26If I did, I was lying.
21:27LAUGHTER
21:29Right, we need an answer.
21:31So, Lee's team.
21:32Is Patty Victoria's panto pal,
21:35Naga's pointless partner or David's pie provider?
21:39Let's take them individually, shall we?
21:40Right.
21:41So, Victoria.
21:42We like her.
21:43Well, we like her, but we're not...
21:45We can't...
21:46We can't just judge it by who we like.
21:50I'm just a bit worried,
21:51because she's been standing there a long time.
21:53Yeah.
21:53She's liable to fall over.
21:55LAUGHTER
21:56But what the audience don't realise is you're stood there,
21:58don't forget.
21:58LAUGHTER
22:03What do we think about Naga not recognising me on pointless?
22:07I can understand that.
22:08LAUGHTER
22:11I wasn't sure until the Jimmy Nail comparison.
22:14And then you thought...
22:15And then I was like...
22:16Yeah.
22:17Yeah, that was...
22:18I mean, even...
22:19I thought she nailed it.
22:20LAUGHTER
22:26Then there's David.
22:28That's a very woolly story.
22:30LAUGHTER
22:31Well, it's a lovely woolly time of year, isn't it?
22:33LAUGHTER
22:34So, who do you think is telling the truth here, Melvin?
22:38I think it's a very difficult game.
22:40I didn't realise.
22:41LAUGHTER
22:42I'll leave it to the public vote.
22:43LAUGHTER
22:46I think it's...
22:47I think Naga.
22:50I think there's an obvious explanation,
22:52and that is that Naga knows who I am, but she forgot her glasses.
22:55So let's go with that.
22:55LAUGHTER
22:56It's Naga looking at a picture of you.
22:59Thinking I'm Jimmy...
23:00Nail.
23:01LAUGHTER
23:01OK.
23:02Patty, would you please reveal your true identity?
23:07Well, I'm Patty, and...
23:10the lovely Victoria was in the same pantomime as me.
23:15APPLAUSE
23:15Yes, Patty is Victoria's pant-o-pau.
23:20Thank you very much, Patty Boulay.
23:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:29Which brings us to our final round,
23:31quick-fire lies, and we start with...
23:36It's Lee.
23:36One Christmas, after spotting them stranded at the side of the road,
23:43I let a couple called Mary and Joseph stay the night.
23:46LAUGHTER
23:48Because there was no room at the Premier Inn.
23:51LAUGHTER
23:57Right, David's team.
24:00So where did you spot Mary and Joseph?
24:03It was in a place I used to live called Bethlehem.
24:06LAUGHTER
24:09Where I live, just near where I live.
24:10I was driving home and just saw them, looking very cold.
24:14Just a man, a man and a woman?
24:15And a donkey.
24:18A man and a woman stood at the side of the road.
24:20Yeah. Luggage?
24:22Well, she was heavily pregnant.
24:25Were they hitching?
24:26No, they were just sat on a bench looking really cold.
24:28You'd just stopped and asked some people on a park bench
24:30if they wanted to come home with you.
24:31LAUGHTER
24:32You've not started doing that again, have you?
24:36The window was down.
24:37Then we stopped at the lights and they, you know...
24:40Who's wee? Did you have someone else with you?
24:42No, I was having a wee in the car.
24:44And I looked out the window and, you know, they gave me that look.
24:50They went, hey, it's Jimmy Neil.
24:53And I just had a bit of bounce, you know, all right?
24:56How's it going? Yeah.
24:57Oh, we're freezing.
24:58Why? Because they were near the Premier Inn and so we couldn't get in.
25:02It was a mistake with the booking and now we don't know where to go next.
25:05So you have the window down in the car.
25:08Yeah.
25:09So you have the passenger window down, do you?
25:11Why?
25:13Because you looked that way when you said, hey.
25:15I was reversing.
25:16LAUGHTER
25:18Which, thanks for laughing, but that doesn't make sense.
25:22I recently bought my new American left-hand drive.
25:28LAUGHTER
25:29Mustang.
25:30LAUGHTER
25:31So it's not just No Room at the Inn and they're called Mary and Joseph,
25:35Mary is pregnant.
25:37I can't confirm that and I'm reluctant to say it on television
25:41in case she's watching.
25:42OK, can I ask you, did Mary give birth to a messiah while staying at your house?
25:50LAUGHTER
25:50No.
25:51No.
25:51But, er...
25:52So it's...
25:53Three people visited with gifts.
25:54LAUGHTER
25:56So they get into the car.
25:58Yeah.
25:58And you go back to Mack Towers.
26:01Yeah.
26:01Yes, the gates swing open.
26:03Mm-hm.
26:04You go up the crunchy gravel driveway.
26:05What happens next?
26:06Drawbridge comes down.
26:07Yeah.
26:08Drawbridge comes up.
26:09Well, obviously not, otherwise I'd have gone straight into the moat.
26:12LAUGHTER
26:13Let's just move on to the portcullet.
26:15LAUGHTER
26:17You get to the big front door of the house, what happens?
26:19Er, so then I go in, cos I've got my own key now,
26:24she's finally given me a key.
26:25LAUGHTER
26:26And, erm, and I go in.
26:28Leaving Mary and Joseph in the car?
26:30No, no, they're in the stable in the back.
26:31LAUGHTER
26:33And the children rush out,
26:34Father, Father, you're... Who's this?
26:36No, no, they were in bed, it was Christmas Eve.
26:39Did I not mention that?
26:40Well, what time was it?
26:41About...
26:4310.30.
26:44What were you doing out at 10.30 on Christmas Eve?
26:47In your Mustang with the window down.
26:49LAUGHTER
26:50Driving slowly along the curve.
26:52LAUGHTER
26:54Oh, Lee, Lee, Lee.
26:57No!
26:58LAUGHTER
26:59I'd forgotten my wife's present and I was looking for a late night garage.
27:02LAUGHTER
27:03To get her something special.
27:04Yeah.
27:05Who doesn't like a giant galaxy and a bunch of carnations?
27:07LAUGHTER
27:10Did you find out what Mary and Joseph, what they did for a living,
27:13where they lived, anything about them?
27:15Er, I think he might have been a carpenter.
27:17I'm not 100% sure.
27:18LAUGHTER
27:19Not sure, er, what he did.
27:22I know she... I think she may have been a jockey.
27:24LAUGHTER
27:27When did they...
27:29When did they go?
27:30Cos presumably the next morning...
27:32LAUGHTER
27:35When did they leave the house, Lee?
27:36Er, when did they leave the house?
27:38Er, well, they left the next morning early when my mate Brian came round.
27:41Brian Herrod.
27:42LAUGHTER
27:45So, what do we reckon?
27:47Naga, what do you think?
27:49I don't believe any of it.
27:50You don't believe any of it?
27:51Victoria, what are you thinking?
27:53I think it's not true, because of the words that he spoke.
27:56Yes, all right, so your whole team are solid on that.
28:00Yes, I think it's... Yes, it's not true.
28:02All right. Lee, they think it's a lie.
28:04Was it a lie or was it actually true?
28:06It was, in fact, a lie.
28:08LAUGHTER
28:09APPLAUSE
28:12Yes, it's a lie.
28:13Lee didn't let a couple called Mary and Joseph stay the night.
28:18Oh, that noise signals time is up, it's the end of the show,
28:21and I can reveal that David's team has won by four points to one.
28:24Ah, well done.
28:26APPLAUSE
28:27Great show, mate.
28:28That was a great show.
28:29Thanks for watching, we'll see you next time.
28:31Good night.
28:32APPLAUSE
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