InInfinite QuarkbyInfinite Quark·Aug 14, 2020Trump Awards Himself Presidential Medal of Freedom for Israel-UAE Peace DealHaving failed to steal Obama’s Nobel medal, Trump moves to Plan BA response icon1A response icon1
InInfinite QuarkbyInfinite Quark·Jul 6, 2020Ghislaine Maxwell Finds “Suicide Cord” in Cell. Deep State Says it’s Just a Jump Rope.“We just wanted her to be able to exercise,” the warden said
Infinite Quark·Jun 20, 2020Humiliating. Novice Hackers Leak the Wrong Bolton’s Memoir.Aiming for John Bolton’s much anticipated tell-all, noob hackers accidentally leaked “It’s Bolton, B*%#” by Michael Bolton instead
InInfinite QuarkbyInfinite Quark·Jun 12, 2020Paw Patrol Creators Launch Stunning Attack on Dora, Caillou, and Other Cartoon Rivals“You think WE’RE complicit in Floyd’s death? Arthur is basically Klan propaganda”
InInfinite QuarkbyInfinite Quark·Jun 11, 2020New York Times Hires “Ribbon Bully” to Handle Bari Weiss SituationUnable to quell the rancor in his bull-pin, executive editor Dean Baquet calls in the big guns.
InInfinite QuarkbyInfinite Quark·Jun 10, 2020The Pummeled 75-Year-Old Finally Gives Trump his Bin LadenPresident Trump gave an elite Buffalo police unit the go-ahead to push Antifa’s CEO to the ground
InInfinite QuarkbyInfinite Quark·Jun 8, 2020WHO Announces Lockdowns Were “Overkill” After All, Declares Support for ProtestersProtesters should continue marching without fear of murdering thousands
InInfinite QuarkbyInfinite Quark·Jun 5, 2020Trump Clears Street for a Photo-Op at a Scientology Temple as Hollywood Erupts in PraiseThe place obsessed with Best Pictures called this the “best picture we’ve ever seen”
InInfinite QuarkbyInfinite Quark·Jun 3, 2020Ben & Jerry’s Announces Plan to Discontinue All Vanilla-Flavored Ice CreamThe ice cream makers also vowed to doxx any customer who complains that, “All ice cream matters-including vanilla.”A response icon1A response icon1
InInfinite QuarkbyInfinite Quark·Jun 3, 2020Rioters Across Nation Lift Voices in Stirring Rendition of John Lennon’s “Imagine”But the McCartneyites were pissed
