Before the new year emerges,
see how much u r worth on the 2007 hantaran calculator.

this ridzwan guy, whoever it is, breaks down the worth of person based on, basically,

1. age : understandable, he take down $1,000 the higher yr age category is
(yeah, mom, i get it)

2. moolah : apparently, unless you make more than $3k per month, it doesn't matter, no changes in yr total worth. Wrong! Mr ridzwan.. unless u r marrying a plastic high maintenance bloodsucker, and by that i mean stripper.. it should be the job description that matters, not the job pays. i mean c'mon, given a choice btw a teacher, a housewive, a phone answering operator and a CEO, who would you rather marry? half of the typical malay will go for teachers and the rest for housewives.

3. looks : plus $1000 if you are a heavenly beauty sent by god to awe men. no changes otherwise, minus $1000 for creepiness. Don't bother to tick the weight section, it doesn't matter if you are aneroxic or obese. or have fat cheeks. (heyyyy! says who mister, size does matters!)

4. cooking prowess : yeah.. i got deducted $500 for admitting kitchen and me equals famine. (Who the hell is Hajah Maimunah??) see, another prove that the test should include job description. A Cook is prob'ly worth millions. That will make Chef Wan the most eligible bride.
If he isn't rated that already.

The other categories includes Quran proficiency and religious awareness level, by which the highest level will give you an additional $500.

So according to this test, Britney Spears should have a hantaran of $6500 and Buku Hijau (just an annoying lady at work) is worth $9000, (god i miss the green book). So according to this mister... a Malay girl's worth, assuming she has perfect looks and weight, a monthly income of more than $3k, holding a Masters Degree with top marks religious-wise and cooks like Hjh Maimunah, will get a full mark of $13k.
Wondered what needs to be taken into account to come up with pretty numbers like 7777.77 or 99999 ...good nails can be worth 77 cent..maybe.

My profession is currently vampire-ing on facebook. rate that.

getting down with a flu , add that to a pre-existing condition of critical lazy-bug virus that's been manifesting itself on me for nearly a year- yeah, i wasn't born lazy, just erm, laidback? Haha , it's making me obsessively wanting to read a comic book while hanging upside down from some 30storeys high building. My current apartment’s 3 storey up.. that’ll do for a trial run.

As usual.. was surfing for some cool gadgets to dream about having, and I came across the ‘nausea inducing flashflight’, researched by the US Dept of Homeland Security. Designed to help riot police. Quoting MedGadget “because nothing else the gov does makes the people ill enough” (^_^)

Just imagine.. at the next peace walk or demo (heard the soonest one is tomorrow).. if the gov’s FRU are CSI-like in terms of catching up on the new techs, the crowd might just be a retching nightmare, and tear gas will be a moot point. And the FRUs will probably have human right groups smarming up their asses faster than you can say the word ‘demo’.

Read it at the Technology Review.

Come to think of it, dieting will be a moot point too, I know sticking down yr finger down the throat can do the job, but it'll be so much fun doing it with a cool gadget won't it?

Headline : I puked and got thinner, Thank you iPhone ]=)

Well, not much. Mostly everything is about food, things has cooled off a bit since Open Houses validity date have expired, and am currently only excited about trying out ev’thing new at Dominoes. Other pizza place in Malaysia should come to their senses, slash open their own stomachs and bow out of business. Pizza Hut should bring it’s pathetic excuse of a lunch promo to hell and never come back for bringing a horrible taste to an otherwise meager, below-average standard fast food.

Being that passionate about my flavor of the month, the same can’t be said for the latest installment of Times. Having previously only published extremely generalized version of the Asean country’s plight, it’s our country’s turn this month. Probably following the 2 most recent, most publicized demonstration in the country, it summarized Malaysia’s 50 years of independence with two word, Identity Crisis.

The article starts with the highly riveting sentence “Revathi Masoosai should be the perfect embodiment of Malaysia”.

And, this, the writer explained, is because the father’s a Christian and married a Hindu, and both later converted to Islam, whose daughter later, fell in love with another Hindu, and would, therefore like to convert back to Hinduism, but whose application was rejected by the Sharia’ court and of course she couldn’t care less and married the Hindu anyway but the parents stayed Muslim.

Does this mirror a majority of the country’s population? Extreme generalization. If indecisiveness can be counted as a key factor in crowning a person ‘the perfect embodiment’ of a country, I hereby nominate Michael Jackson as the perfect embodiment of the Earth.

The article went downhill from there including a ridiculous pic seemingly taken by a camera phone in a boring LRT ride, still an interesting read though.. the way the writer skates over any mention of street demonstration but still insinuates an unrest..but for someone highly paid, and for an established print name at that, the editor should do a hakkiri too, slashed open their guts and bow to Malaysia Kini and suffer the same fate I bestowed to Pizza Hut.

read it :: http://blog.limkitsiang.com/2007/12/03/malaysias-identity-crisis/

it was rather interesting that the chinese tested that foggy mineral water on their chicken, the very thing that could have saved them from hunger.. or a blessing on a day when the wive is desperately craving for poultry to eat..and what if they ran out of money and the only thing that could be sold in that household is chicken? Unless they are thinking to sell their daughter. i mean, c'mon, testing it on someone you hate makes a lot more sense. Court will never be able to indict you of murder, you can always blame the manufacturing company in China, and then sue them for malpractice, embarrassment and emotional distress; negligence and whatever else that could be acclaimed for. Then you get the money, and you get away with murder. I'd like to try that on that interfering senile granpa ev'rybody in this building seems to hate.. if the attempt failed and he lived, I can just say; shucks people,I just like to be nice to old folks..

That said.. don't drink anything made in China (even if that probably leaves the only drinkable water in the world to be tap water)

it was that row of shoplots in Puchong where we sweat it out for clues on the previous treasure hunt. it was at that freaking area that ev'one morphed into sweating idiots and failed most of the questions.

there was a little boy with scuffy sneakers, and red shirt.. no blue, or erm..well it sure as hell ain't pink. he's got this bratty look about him, kinda like the one my bros had after they freeze that kitten to death. he was alone. i am sure about that. might be the mom or dad or whoever left him there while they busy themselves with the ATMs inside. he was just standing there, looking at passerbys with that bratty eyes.

there was a man. dark green cap, tallish..bit potbellied..a shadow of beards on his face..altho for the life of me, the only thing i remembered about him is his beard. the rest of his face.. well. since he's not a lengchai it's only understandable that he's a blur. I'd bet 20 bucks he's not Malaysian tho.

so this guy went up to the brat and put his dirty hands on the kid's shoulder. you can tell straightaway they r not related. my mind was racing at 100km per millisecond per neutron imagining the kid being cut up into cubes and distributed evenly at the vietnam flea market via black rubbish bags. I heard you can get up to 50K if u haggle for kidney these days. (Anyone wanna buy my appendix?mine's still intact).

then an orderly warga emas-ish makcik step up and swatted the man's hand away. Guess i wasn't the only one there with too much CSI on my mind.

swat. just like that. and she saved the world. well.. the kid's world. Peter Pitrelli should be ashamed of himself and bury his head in in New York's underground city. Here's an old Lady who doesn't need weeks to discover she's a hero. I can sleep sound tonight thinking of all the lil boys who'll be saved by heroic old ladies all over the world... =P

and me? well..if our policemen suddenly wants to become useful and ask around for statements.. all i can say is..He's an alien with a beard.

Off to firework shows tonite! then hitting the road to south..to see the brat whose buttocks are now slashed three way. Happy National Day~

i thot the most irritating thing on the face of earth is coming to work to a blasting hindustan song tracks queing forever on someone's 10km long playlist.
but that's ok, i'll just drown out the sound with My even more unintelligible list of songs, Korean lullabies.

then i thot, the most irritating thing on earth is that ahjumma who have a problem with ev'ry 'lil thing i did, and gave me a lecture on ev'rything else.
but that's ok too, that might be some good stuffs she's saying, and most of the time I tune out to OnePiecePlanet in my head anyway.

then i thot, the most irritating thing on earth is having housemates bringing back boys.. (ermm will it be OK if the boys are lengchais? haha) but then I guess it doesn't matter as much .. as long as I stay out... as long as I'm not in my screaming and hair pulling ahjumma mode.

and then.. i freaking found cigs stubs and ashes on the floor. AND in My bathroom.
What freaking insane living pig disguised as human who in their 20somethingyears of life has never heard of freaking ashtray AND sweeps? I am not against smoking gals, unless u r preggy with a life inside of u, u r totally welcome to just destroy whatever miserable life u had that u r driven to smoke in the first place, and just kill whatever lil' braincells u have left.

so then i became a lecturing ahjumma myself. and that's my limit =).

aaaarrrr...dream come true made possible by K-drama. The (droo_ool) perfect cafe`. Pity I don't own this cafe huhu. Lalalalala~ Caffein has never been this addictive. Gray's Anatomy and Betty had just been whooped down to the bottom of my list. kyaaa~~~ (^_^)

why? you mean other than the fact that it's God's blueprint for the normal human anatomy? maybe I'm not critical minded enough,maybe I shouldn't just accept that we are build the way we are and that there might be more to the appendix than just for differentiating humans and aliens.

Moved out of my current house into a new apartment, don't really know the other tenants all that well yet~ there's Girl A and Girl B, both working in the financial sector, which basically means they're rarely home.Heavenly. So..was going through the dismal book counts throughout the house, yeah, no comics found. They should be grateful I hauled in a lifetime supply of it. Then I found this particular book, lying face up on the coffee table, the lettering "Why Do Men Have Nipples" glaring at me in bold print. By Leyner & Goldberg. It's THICK.

So why? Well.. surfed around at Guardian.co.uk to see what guys around the world think..

It is the wish of our creator at the begining refer to Genesis 2: 4-25
Chan Yut Wah, Ipoh, Perak Malaysia

So that men can have the breast of both worlds.
Colin Boyd, Saskatoon Canada

If they don't have nipples their body looks empty.
Joyce, London, U

so we can suffer from mammary-deficit-jealousy-syndrome. O.K., so i made the name up, but it's true.
ranald, edinburgh

Simple - To be clamped.....
Hayley Whitten, Southend on sea UK

To practice
Meurig Williams, Deeside Clwyd

Beer tits would look ridiculous without them.
Colm, Derry South Korea

Since men have potential breasts, and they do have a certain level of oestragen..guess the macho acts couldn't cover up all the basis huh? perfect excuse to explain all that sulking?haha.They should be worrying about lumps too..they should.

Since there's an actual physician writing an actual book on this and either Girl A or B actually bought the book.. I might just actually read it some time or later ~

may i have your attention please
may i have your attention please
will the real fat lady please stand up
i repeat, will the real fat lady please stand up
we're gonna have a problem here...

hvn't sleep a wink these past few days..dreading the upcoming Monday.. dunnow why. I just dread it. It's like getting into Garfield's head where Monday is a big fat vermint looming over you..waiting to devour you if you get too close too it. Well.. I'm in a cat's brain today.
Probably cuz i just ran over one..it's a carcass by the time i ran it over, the other 3 fat cars has already taken away its guts and contents half a mile ahead.

erry's wedding in PJ's over, nice one babe. (got one wee lad with a very nice view too hahah) ..one down, one more to go =)

and yeah.will the stupid fat lady who bumped my car and float away like a pompous obesed whale please choke on your greasy lunch and drown yourself. My soiled with cat's brain tyres are too nice to run over your guts.


p,s : which category are you? the Gobloks and non-Gobloks.U gotta give'em credit..trying to turn the whole nation into non-sensical rubbish writers like yours truly..well. for biased and slated political judgements..there's always the Times..and the Shonen Jump.

At first impression, I thought some sappy someone left the bloody letter in my pen drive, and of course, it would make perferct sense if it was addressed to me. As it is not, I got the dreary feeling..kinda like the feeling that MJ got when he's Punk'd..that this just might be a joke program. Worse..it might be a virus. Poor Edelin bt. Baharum, what the hell does she did to her hubby that he transformed their love into worm.

Dearest Edelin bt. Baharum

*** ***
* * * *
* * *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
* *
*

From:
ur_edmirer@yahoo.com

011001010110010001100101011011000110100101101110
011010010110110001101001011010110110010101110101

When Edelin_ is executed, it performs the following actions:

1. Copies itself as the following files:

• C:\tmp\Isass.exe
• X:\Edelin_X.exe

Note:

• X:\ is your removable drive
• Edelin_X.exe that created is hidden from the user.

2. Creates the following file:

• X:\Autorun.inf

so that Edelin_X.exe can runs every time a removable drive is plug-in.

If anyone else had the missfortune of coming across this text.. just bin it.
Check out how at trend micro.

JK Rowling has once again confirmed suspicions that if an 8th Harry Potter book installement exists, it will surpassed the Britannica or Kamus Dewan , thickness wise. The Powers That Be that controlled the publications are hell bent on ensuring each book is thicker than the later, and therefore, can be sold at an exponentially proportional price escalation. As such, it is a world wide expectation that the latest and final installment, the Deathly Hallow will be much more expensive than its predecessors, and people are willing to pay any mountain of sickles that they have to get their hands on it. I sure am. And it sure gave bookstores a honeyed dream of extorbiting easy cash.

Since their plan flopped in Malaysia and all over the world, with wholesalers selling almost 50 bucks cheaper that the retail price, the final book was sold cheaper than the 5th and 6th book at only RM69.90. It even goes down to RM 42 in UK. Small bookstores can start picketing and protesting their arses off.. but it still doesn't change the fact that all the avid fans lost to the price war.. as all pre-booked orders are still priced at RM109.90. Lost to the people who couldn't have cared less if it was the first day of the book launch, and simply bought it cuz it's cheaper. Well.. I guess it was a pretty daring move by Tesco and Carrefour, they just succeeded in ensuring millilons of the most anticipated book of the year, to remain in boxes on the day of the launch, bcuz of the protests..and will probably remain there collecting dust for the rest of the year before being rebirthed into recycled paper. As of 2100hrs yesterday, various prediction that the books will be sold out in all Carrefour and Tesco outlets by noon, proved widely off the mark. There are still piles of it unsold. Price is not the issue.. people are just not as dippy over Harry in this part of the world.

As far as the book is concerned.. having been subjected to read full lenghts of Obituaries, newspaper clippings and reminiscense of the dead Dumbledore which contributes to half of the book's thickness.. what's left of the story is passable. Everyone lives and breeds it seems. I guess it will be too much to expect a dead Harry, but it will be more interesting. I can bet some die hard fans somewhere will construct a grave for him or introduce a Harry day if he succumbs to Lord Vouldy. It ends with a nineteen years later version of the all the sidekicks.. I hope they won't turn that part into a bloody series. It's bound to be a sappy version of One Tree Hogwarts.

It's a wonder really..why the wonders I voted for wasn't listed as the new world wonders..
There's the kiyomizu.. which I voted simply cuz it was in Japan..




then the UK's stonehenges, which gives the impression that 3500 years ago, aliens played LEGO with the rocks on earth while waiting for their mothership to arrive(or rather, the giants from Elbaf did), which is why it should really be the world wonder.. cuz like inachan says.. eventho no one really knows what they are, they are a freaking wonder. Kinda like picasso..which is freaky in a different way.
Since , the Christ Redeemer in Brazil was listed, I want the Conan Town, Hokuei-chô to be freaking listed as well!

It was the birth place of Gosho Aoyama, the author of Meitantei Conan(Detective Conan) manga series. Most of the sketches of places in the manga i.e gardens, classrooms, school etc, actually existed in the town!!And..... the place has a chokeful of Statues!!!Paydirt, Brazil!! It's even got a museum, the Gosho Aoyama Manga Factory to honor the writer, the Conan Bridge, the Conan Road.. It's kinda like a down-to-earth,real world Disneyland only no tickets are sold.It's full of symbols and statues, like the Vatican City, only no religion is involved. It's all created by the town's folk themselves to honor their most famous boy. What's not to wonder?

8th wonder of the world..

The once famous comic writer of Malaysia, Ujang, once wrote about his dream to have a kinda -Ujangland or something like that, where his cartoon characters will be statued. He's now back in Central Market freelancing.I guess.. for comics in Malaysia to become as serious business as it was in Japan is too much to ask for.. kinda as futile as Malaysian football team. Also, since the list is compiled by popular votes, the Christ Redeemer can now be properly equated with Mawi.

and i don't care what cipcip says.. the new installment of Harry Potter rocks!!!!

to erry.. 1 day to go till she becomes a bride. Big congrats babe.. wishing u a blissful life ahead. Sorry I can't be there for you that day.

to kak ina..just a month to go(sempat lg nak kurus!) =)
happy for you both (^_^)
--------------------------------------------------------

went to class yesterday after weeks of truancing. half the lengchai quits. no point of going anymore. but since i didn't failed..guess maybe i should offer to tutor the remaining lengchais..heee. ;)

sensei's friend committed suicide..hefty credit loan.since she's too short to hang herself by the fan ceiling.. she hangs herself on the clothes rack on her bedroom wall, right beside the door. that's after a cut on her wrists and a bottle of sleeping pills failed to send her to heaven on express ride. her 6 years old son walks in right smack into a corpse with a few feet of tounge hanging out. and sensei was reenacting every freaking scene with tears in her eyes. needless to say half the class was choking back laughter.cuz no one understand it all really...sounds like total gibberish until the time she acts dead with her head and tounge lolling about.. guess trauma and jokes comes hands in hands.

..the winged creatures from hell just got humoungously unbearable.

Never had such a f*cked up day.. ever.

It's a bloody day where bad lucks flew down from the sky with vengeance, in their stupid black wings, night vision goggles and pink sneakers with turbo power. They flew in packs like bats, smelled the blood, hounded the wounded,and bombarded ev'thing that matters. A hundred of them got me while I was driving to work, and although I managed to scream 'kamehameHA' and swat dead 99, one managed to stick on and draw blood. It's been a hellish day ever since.

It's the main reason I'm still at work, looking at the to do list and deciding to ignore every bloody task on it to blog, read comics, watch movies and basically.. ignore work at work. I need to go and kill someone first, frame a few bodyparts, get some shut eye.. and then maybe.. after the winged creatures from hell rot away.. I'll get started on that list.

p/s: kak ina, saya hon scooter bodo tu bukan sbb saya lapar ok.saya sedang membalas serangan nasib jahat berkepak dari neraka.

Brad Pitt once asked how, a long time ago, people found out their clothes got cleaner when washing it at a certain point in the river.

He answered it himself.. human sacrifices were once made on the hills above the river; the burnt bodies contribute fat, the ashes from the wood and water formed lye; and altogether, hey presto, white foam discharge befitting the Shokubutsu was swept onto the river side..and so people of the earth learned how to clean fabrics, or so they claimed. (a few short years later people already have coins operated washing machine..)

Anyway, helped mom stuff the short clip from Fight Club where Pitt stole fat from a lypo clinic to make soap; in her teaching materials.. in a move to trick the students into thinking glycerins and sodiums are cool to play with. Well.. apparently, it worked. Bet if I had Brad Pitt teaching me chemistry last time, I wouldn't have flunked it. ]=) Just for showing the world the simple logic of home-made dynamite in that movie, he should replace Schwarzenegger as Mayor, representing the US in erm.. making weapons with utmost affection. With his colorful family, he's got the multiracial harmony argument down pat too.. which means... he'd be a shoo in if he runs for KL's mayor.

A few other scientfic quotes came to mind..
Eichiro Oda, once mentioned in One Piece , that he reads from a scientific analysis somewhere, which said that if human's chest muscle measured 2meters, then, human can fly. Imagine that. If someone, somewhere invents a fat to muscle converter, Pamela Anderson could fly!
(and inachan would be esctatic =P )

And Dolly Parton once said.. natural beauty takes approximately 2 hours in front of the mirror..

Celebritites has such inspiring wisdom..

Owh yeah.. promised to help a friend promote his cause; check this out and make it your cause too =)

there's no panda in malaysia, but help save them anyway ;).. and hordes of other animals too...

Returning back from a 2 days trip to the north, lack of sleep and still high on euphoria, I came back totally devoid of any black mood. Of course that just about tilted the balance of the world and jilted some sick devil's foodchain and I came that close to causing world disaster. In order to restore order in karma and all that shit, it is just inevitable that the moment I stepped on the soil of KL, my worse nightmare came to life in the form of a world class jerk who presents itself just so it can be fed a plateful of crap. Managed to crawl back to bed without beheading anyone.. the glass is once again half empty and world order was restored.

That aside, congratulations to Fik & Teratai..and to AhJohn & Dali on their wedding.. wishing you guys a happily ever after ending. Berjaya pergi dan balik dengan hebat, atas bantuan hidung-hidung yang pro gile mencari direction =)

Yang pastinya makanan kat utara sumer pon tersangat best!!!! Noodle Haven. I could just slurp noodles all day.. betukar menjadi jin pon takper. Sape lagi yek yg nak kawen kat utara.. nak pesan Mee Kuah Pil Chi-Kit Tech Aun yang famous ittuh..


Secluded, and stranded. We discovered the chalet floats upon dead bodies, which, referring to Bone, was there since the British East India Company ruled earth and the fishes are trained to be cannibals. Nobody heard our cries for help.


Moments after the big bomb explodes and before the chalet was shattered to smithereens. Aji, the troop leader chooses this method to annahilate the cannibal fishes a.k.a Ikan Gerut Gerut.
He managed to kill all the fishes.. and all chalet residents.
Cheeps offended the Nature and was struck by lightning as expected. Only he wasn't dead. just transformed to a living frisbee. We tried to give it in house training to make it a straight frisbee.It stayed gay. It was the only survivor of the explosion.



*in his dying breath..before he falls from the tree and drowned.. Mr Nasrang requested to be creditted for these incredible shots during the explosion. The living will goes on to remember him by his mighty art*

A long, long time ago, at a time when men wears skirt and were proud of it, at a time when witches were burn at the stakes and chips simply means potato strips and not silicon. A while after Galileo was put under house arrest for saying that earth is not flat, at some sides of the world, the pirates reigned.

And according to the pirates, or rather, the latest installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean, the End of The World is actually Singapore.

And that’s about the only thing I remembered from the movie, having seen it in the previous 24hours.

The cabinet should endorse a law that approves life long imprisonment without parol or any possibility to appeal, for any idiots who talks in a movie. And if they talk about really, really irritating things, The law should also decapitate their stupid heads.

Queen Elizabeth was said to have only one bath per week wether she needs it or not, which is why she’s probably always irritated and behead people on a daily basis. If only she lives in this era, I’d like to bring her to the movies… after making sure she hadn’t had her bath in a month. All the flying heads will probably relieves me from depression…. Cool.

That said… thanks to stupid talking heads.. I need to re-watch the pirates. Anyone?

Having not read a single news, be it on shelf linings or online, since the Virginia Tech massacre, you would have thought a lot of things have changed in the world. But aside from more unnecessary fatalities in the Middle East and Samy Vellu’s unending smugness that no one can prove him guilty of bribe ~ well, there’s just more doom in the newspaper than all Korean series put together. And that’s saying something considering the buckets of tears I sacrified over broken hearted yummy ooppa-s. .

I am depressed.
If I lived in a bamboo house right now, I’d have blown off the roof with my sighs

What NOT TO do when feeling depressed

5. Read newspapers – Just not the ones from Earth.
You can read news from Mars or Pluto or The Planet Nameck Daily; for all we know there are probably a hunnred times more cheery bunch of Uruk Hai-s and Smeagols out there as compared to us lowly buncha losers.

4. Eat betrayal chocolates – just don’t.

3. Work – A big no no.
If your boss asked, just tell him if someone forced you to lift your hand to your keyboard right now, they’ll be responsible for future side effects to fellow officemates such as mutilated and garroted body parts displayed on the wall. If they read about Virginia Tech, they’d probably leave you alone for as long as you display the word ‘depressed’ on your forehead. As such I justified my whole day at work today watching Gray’s Anatomy reruns (again) and Korean game shows.

2. Walk –
Walking makes you more depressed with every step you take. It’s like when the Japanese jog, they’d mutter one, two, one, two… but when depressed me walk, it felt more like one, pig, one, pig, one, pig,pig, PIG!…. At times like this?Don’t walk. Just roll about. People will understand. And it’s not like I really like pig in particulars, it’s just becuz I like pink. And somehow pigs are highly associated with depression.

1. Think – Hazardous.
Why else do you think Spongebob is so happy every damned week? Cuz sponges don’t have brains. And Bush, and Luffy, Britney, Lorelai Gilmore..

And Cheeps & Inachan just did not deliver today. Just when you really expect them to, (abes nak expect aper lagi kalau dah datang meja orang screaming ‘ADE GOSSIP!’ kan??) they failed spectacularly at trying to churn out a decent gossip today when they did it so excellently every other day. So I’m blaming them for making me more depressed, and heck, while I’m at it I might as well blame them for this whole depression bout.

Against all odds, (odds inclusive of four direction blind peoples, crazily high IQ old geezers and weird malay riddles)... we managed to find the treasures.

And the picture sez it all!! (^_^) yayyy for the dizzy grasshoppers!

kalau dah tadek keje sangat pegi la jalan2 kat cafe kacau orang. tak pon pegi la jahanamkan paru2 ko yg dah memang sama corrupt je ngan perangai ko tu. gi isap rokok bawah tangga sambil kipas bos. menjadi gile gumbira trigger happy dengan butang send kat outlook, itu bukanla hobi yg sesuai. mcm budak terencat. tadek keje. so boleh la nak justify ko menyusahkan hidup smer orang ngan email2 yg tak relevan langsong. ingat lagi banyak email terbang nampak lagi rajin ke? nampak mcm ko langsong tadek keje adela. bukan sumer orang bodo cm ko.


behold! my new baby ]=) it's just so damn cool. mainly cuz it's real cute. mostly cuz i cn justify not going to class after this. whheee..~

hoi!! smer name pon cam haram!! =P bertempur!
1. Team Biru
2. Team Dara
3. Team Anak Kecil Main Api
4. Team Nombor 6
5. Team Sungguh Sexy En Cheepox Itu
6. Team Anak Penguin Kaler Itam
7. Team Ajon
-Faber castle
-window vista
-buku tulis
-pen merah
-oasis
-kyocera
-consciousness stop
Penyu Ninja Mutasi Remaja
Original Supervisors
Kamen Riders
Pringles
Team Medical Dragon
The Hunters
Excalibur
Zappy
Blues clues
Swift Seekers
SuperNaturals

From here onwards, married guy should be read as S.O.B ..

So here’s a word by word replay – the consequence of curiosity.

SOB : So girl.. u rn’t planning to get married? In any relationship now?
(soklan cepumas; trap ahead, red light.. nenong nenong!)

Vash : Nope..not in any.. and no plan at the mo~

SOB : get a taste of life, make the most of being single.. right? Just like me.

Vash : hee…advice from an experienced man? (jurus serkap jarang tahap satu)

SOB : Nope..I’m not an experienced man. Just saying..u know. (like hell u aren’t)

Vash : so u sayin’ u r single? (he had it coming. no one can accuse me of not being specific)

SOB : yeah.. I am. (thunder…thunder..thundercat!HO! why is this guy not strike to the ground?)

Vash : Really? U r single? Not even inna relationship now?

SOB : Nope. u know what I hate most? Being tied down.

Vash : …. ( no one asked, Idiot)

SOB : Saya memang tak boleh kalau kene ikut cakap orang perempuan. And being married is like being tied down with a name on the rope!

Vash : True. And the rope comes with a ring. (What did u do wif yours airhead? Flush it down the toilet? Planning to swim in the sewers to get it when yr wife comes back wif the baby?)

SOB: It’s not that I won’t do anything that u ask me to… tapi buat mase skang ni mmg belom ready to take orders from a mam. (what am I then? Chopped liver? when the hell did I say I wanna ask u to do anything for me, Idiot? Belom ready? Dah tu pgi kawen buat hape? Volunteeer jadi babi eksperimen?)

Vash : That so? Then u can’t work with a girl boss! ( obvious change of topic. A girl can only take so much of blatant bullshitting without feeling nauseous)

SOB : yeah.. I can’t.. but my big boss is a woman..bla bla ( enter network talks, yay! )

hell.. what’s wrong with being friends with a married guy, heck 3 quarter of my officemates are married. Specially when he's a good teacher, work wise. It all comes down to the matter of intention.. and having done my research, his intentions are as clear as mud.

So friends or foe? Well.. Its just that I have a rule not to date babi eksperimens. specially not one with piglets on the way.Fruits but never pigs. Sigh.. there goes my notes n cracks.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle’s out.. but don’t expect too much. I sleep through half of Michaelangelo’s crappy jokes and Raph’s PMS mood, fight scene’s not that interesting and the whole production is entirely predictable.. Pleasantly traditional tho.

Damn it I just can’t get over how they translated Turle to Peninju. All in all, Kisah Peninju Ninja Mutasi Remaja gets a 2.5 stars from me. Why can’t they use Penyu? Kura2? Or Kappa!

knew there was no shortage of supplies for stupid people on the face of earth, and by the looks of it the clan is increasing and infilterating organisations everywhere with the speed of light. all of a sudden, when u least expects it, the clan fills up top ranks ev'where and there u have it.. ev'ry meeting starts with the last minute meeting readings however useless this has proven, ev'ry tom, dick and harry who came to the meetings leaves their brain on their cubic for preservation of neutrons, less they were infected by other people's rotting ones.. and as Gaiman once wrote, what do u expect from people who overslept the morning God gave out brains?

and seriously. seriously, if everything has already been decided, say by the infilterated top ranks...then why call a meeting at all?Seriously!

yeahhh finished the latest One Piece updates... aaaaa seeing stars and hearts all over. nothing like a good, relaxing read to turn the remaining neutrons in yr brain to fluffy cottons..

so last midnite, when my craving for a scrumptious banana split became almost unbearable, i parked by butt over at A&W ( where else) and witnessed and interesting, interesting scene.

a young couple was bickering. the girl, well, amidst all that make-up, looks like a desperate school girl tho, looks downright ready to wail and stomp her feet and call daddy to the rescue. The guy, well. The average malay i guess. Messy hair, messy face, an Alien workshop jacket slung over his shoulder (gawd.. so 1996..) and a bloody cap. and get this.. my guess is his age is probably nearing 30. So there we have a girl trying to look older (think Lindsay L) and a guy(probably married, think ashton) forever trying to re-arrange his face to look concerned + firm + loving + whatever, what u get is a crossbreed of expressions and u had to be there to feel the need to puke. Someone should just tell him wearing yr cap backward doesn't make u a rapper, and child molesting is a serious offence (hear that, cheeps? =p )

and since no one there bothered to cover our interest in their conversation, we (speaking on behalf of all A&W patrons that nite) had a blast oggling, judging and placing bets on the outcomes of the lil' squabble. Up until the guy said "kalau mcm tu u boleh berhenti jadi adik angkat i". aaaahhh there u have it ladies. They are not even a couple.
So his wife can't chop his head and say he's cheating. The magic word. the solution to all problem. the cover for all gray areas between friendship and more. The Excuse.

I wondered..these 'angkat' relationship. If i wanted more than a boss-employee relationship, should i find a boss angkat? and for other matters, a cikgu angkat? or a makcik angkat? is there such a thing as kawan angkat? what happened to simply BFFs?

owh and that lil' squable? i lost my bet. the guy left first. I thot, the girl, runny mascara and all... would have had the dignity to slap him in the face, kick him down there and fled the scene. If only she'd do that, the whole place will probably give her a standing ovation. I know I will.

Wimax deals are out in the open, and all the big runners lost. Well, u ‘ve got to hand it to TM though, lost the race but won the medal. No deals? Fine. Suck out all the loose change under the couch and cash it in for their own infra. And all the other winners will still be losers as long as they leech out other people’s infra. Well.. it is the one solution to regain the fixed line traffic lost to IP. No one can stop anyone with money, how do you think Trump gets to fantasize about his own daughter in public and not get trashed? Ev’ry press that matters are probably on his rolodex.

Same goes for Jessica Simpson really, poisoning the airwaves with sick notes and no one threw stones? Big conspiracy. There, I should probably stop. I had just implied that Simpson is equivalent to Wimax, hadn’t I?

The Time describes hope as a cluster bomb in wartime, shredding the peace of mind. Although that was used to describe Iraq, it does applies universally. Lumping everyone into one dirty distribution pool, we can conclude that mostly, people's hope will be dashed the moment it was raised to the highest point.

Hoping the new Kamen rider hero will be not be so sotong.. and there u go..we got the most sotong-est kamen rider hero of all time for the Den-O version.

Hoping movie sequels exceeds the prequels (well everyone knows that this is one stupid hope) and they bombed everytime. Let's just see how H.Potter, Spiderman and the Pirates fares this year.

Hoping my boss would go on a month's vacation and leave us alone to tinker around with the statistics ]=P i know. what a hope..

...and just when u thought meeting one watermelon after another is bad enough..u met with an interesting perv. Hoping for a normal friendship? Duh. I didn’t know that I can sunk low enough as to be the other woman, but a married couple with a pregnant wife? Almost became the whore in horrible.

And the dark clouds from my past moves this way again, shadowing my wake, haunting my dreams. Should I just threw caution to the wind and grope for the silver lining? You can't get to the rainbows if you can't put up with the rain, right? Nah... I'll probably got struck dead by lightning halfway through. Plus I'm not senile yet. It's not that easy to forget.
and hello! hope equals cluster bombs remember?

On that note, to all friends with the burtsy wallets this month, happy spending folks! you know shopping never lets anyone down! =)

ottosama : u have to be brave to say no

whatever. i'm still running away.

what's your opinion on xxxxxx ?
they're coming to ___fill in the bloody blank__

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


i noe i'll get punished for doing this..someday.. but i still want to scream and kick and scream a bucket of bloody expletives. This will only end if I run away to Korea. And being the rock climber expert (HAHAH) i can be a mountain hermit there. with Wonbin. Yes . That's the only solution.

Time moves so fast in this Lane that it’s almost cruel. Life flashes by like lightning strikes, brilliant and blinding moment at times, but those moments never lasts. I found myself trying hard to grasp these moments and to stem the flow but it’s like pointlessly standing in a middle of an ocean, trying to break the incoming waves (screaming Nippon ichi!) , knowing that I’ll eventually be washed ashore nevertheless. Limp and scraggly and powerless.

What do people do to make their lifes more meaningful?

So u know.. in a bid to add more color to life, I somehow came to the conclusion that, in order to enjoy life more, you gotta sleep less. Just do something else. Anything. Comics. Watching the new age Kamen Rider. Driving around aimlessly. Writing Kanji characters on the wall. Just don’t sleep before 4 am. And it succeeded. Life has a meaning. I am a zombie. Still am.

And in a bid to untangle myself from tripping over mom’s everhaunting list of eligible bachelors, I went on a few dates of my own. One was simply horrible. I gave up after the first few minutes of incessant talks on Malaysian plants and its scientific name (tsk tsk..flaunting knowledge is not wrong. It’s interesting if u get it right. But to brag about things and get it wrong? ) It’s not a crime to be stupid. But it is, if accompanied by detestable ego and an inflatable head. And if he’s not a lengchai, it’s utterly unforgiveable. All throughout the date I daydreamed of doing a seppuku on myself over and over again. I’ve always wanted to donate my mad-cow-disease-infected-blood to the American nation anyways.

One other meeting went quite well.. surprisingly fun. But then it was with a world renowned backstabber.. so I guess I had to go home and do multiple seppuku all over again. This time with a blunted knife. i'm putting a stop to being stupid.

And since I’ve sworn not to pollute anymore of my friends with the love’s puddle of mud…. Sigh, Bring it on,mom. And I’ll probably keep on having those nightmares where Erry wont’ do my make up.

As far as coloring my lifes goes, the comics and movies are doing the job just fine.

I guess time moves as it wants. and moves faster when u live aimlessly. altho being sleep deprived is a solution, it probably is never the answer. 3 hours to 4 a.m folks.

it felt just like yesterday that i announced my hatred to new years.

what to dread in Feb

• numb3rs airing almost ev'day on tv. I thot tv cared about ratings?
  

• bosses are all running helter skelter worshipping the olympic medals that they know, are out of their grasp anyway. Other members of the team are just tinkering around the track serenely sipping strawberry milks , using up all of their brain power to concentrate on ignoring the ongoing race. The term 'massaging data' brought a whole new meaning to me. I can now shamelessly jump into the murky pool of data corrupters.
  

• airwave frequencies. what's up with 'On Bended Knees' ev'ry freaking hour? It's Valentine. We get it.
  

• Orange courses. The orange courses that's forced on people, designed to make people smarter.
  

• err..there's that network exam i signed up for, for no reason.Other than to flunk it.
  

what to like

• Another trip back home. It's the princess's bday and we can't wait to tell her she's now too old for Barneys and Barbies.And that Barnies are actually just a potbellied overpaid homeless drunk in a purple costume. She'll probably cry. yeahhhh =)
  

• Hannibal Rising, Ghost Rider (wheee), Hwang Jin Yi further eps, Goong..
  

• one week leave.(?) yeeehaaa.

• new One Piece eps..battle btw Ace and the black beard pirate.
  

• Can't wait to find out who the hell is Mr Linderman.

owh.. and congrats to aliss chan for jumping on the 8 to 5 bandwagon. mari datang lambat setiap hari ]=P

Good people of the society, do beware of illiterate officers of MPPJ who pounced on the unsuspecting public and reduced the unsuspecting public to hands and knees to beg for forgiveness and redemption.

Vash : ni tiket parking saya. Ini pulak tiket saman. Saya tak nak bayar saman ni.
Pasal saya ada tiket parking. Saya tak tahu kenapa saya kene saman.

Kaunter : oh? Nanti saya cek system.

(wah. Screen computer ade gambar my lovely car with the said parking coupoun. Officer MPPJ pakai digicam? Kayanye. Mesti banyak kutip saman)

Kaunter: Eh betullah tiket ni. Officer tu salah baca agaknyer.
Vash : Bukan. Saya rasa die tak pandai membaca.

Kaunter: . . ….
Vash : …. Dah tu kene bayar tak ni?
Kaunter : Tak tahu lagi. Kene mesyuarat dulu.
Vash : …..
Kaunter : Isi borang ni dulu , hantar, dan telefon selepas 2 minggu untuk tahu status kompaun.

(damn! Kene tulis karangan!)

BORANG RAYUAN KEPADA DATUK BANDAR PETALING JAYA

Sebab- sebab Merayu :

Dengan ini bahawasanya saya merayu kepada Dato’ Bandar supaya tidak membiarkan pegawai2 MPPJ yang buta huruf merayap secara berleluasa di kawasan bandaraya kerana mereka menyusahkan masyarakat sekeliling. Sila keluarkan perintah berkurung atau/dan perintah bersekolah. Sekian, harap maklum.

Talking about the unsuspecting publics…

NST's today (read) dwelled on the Forex Exchange scheme pulled upon a few unsuspecting graduates. Jobless, Interviewed, Employed, and asked to deposit RM 80k in promise of quick cash and leisure future – they blindly nodded and resorts to using their parent’s EPF savings, and borrowing from ahlongs. Of course, ends up losing the money that they don’t have, as fast as u can say ‘forex’.

Quote “many of them are fresh graduates who do not know how to manage their own finance”

Idiot. It doesn’t take 100 years of experience to identify a pyramid scheme. Good god, and you call yourself a graduate. Did those 4 years of study fried your brains to a sizzling empty black shell ? kaya btol korang. Sesenang nak handover puluh2 ribu kat orang. Gadai smer benda. Pinjam sana sini. Pastu golek2 nangis2. Dapatla masok sokkabar. Pastu masok tv plak. Masok Bersamamu. tak pnah dengar main kutu? ASB? Oh..tapi yg tu takleh masok tv. Kalau nak sgt jd rich n famous, dari mula masok je American Idols kan senang.

More of unsuspecting publics

Quoting a now nation-wide infamous statement from Dr M “What you have is a cabinet which is not very knowledgeable all the time, because it is not made up of experts but politicians, and some politicians like myself can sometimes be stupid. The cabinet merely gave approvals in principle and never really studied the implications in some parts of the agreement”

He’s referring to recent toll hikes and highway toll concessions - on the current effects of toll hikes on low-income societies. 'nuff said.

Well..there's the unsuspecting me having to beg the mayor because his staffs are illiterate. Then there's the unsuspecting parents who have to bear the debs of the idiot grads. And us the unsuspecting public who became avid spectators for the annual price race between petrol and toll. One big happy unsuspecting society.

my point is Dato' .. after the toll n petrol hikes (and CNewYear sales) who can afford to pay stupid summons larr...

What do you call having to buy the same sneakers at the same shop, 3 times in 3 months?

I know telcos had it bad with punks stealing copper and fiber cables, but shoes? Geez, it wasn’t as if my sneakers were glow in the dark Nikes! And they were pink! What kind of perv wanna steal those?

So let’s try and solve The Case of The Missing Sneakers.

First of; Suspect Profile Analysis::

Since the same colored shoes was stolen everytime, let’s just rule out men ( I know a guy who owned a roomful of pink stuffs, but he had injured a butt so he’s got the perfect alibi )

Given the fact the she have to climb up a flight of stairs to get to my home (crime scene #1) and the fact that she was able to steal the shoes from my car and run away from the parking lot in the jiffy that I went to get my keys (crime scene #2) just goes to show that the thief is a healthy woman aged 20 -40 years.

Since it was only 2-3 weeks since my last pair was stolen, we can conclude that stealing is a hobby of hers and she will die if she did not steal pink shoes every week. This kinda obsessive-compulsive behaviour (OCB) proves that she’s a drug addict. Probably a divorced, lonely, single mother who can draw pink colored futures when she’s high.

Crime Lab::
Let’s get to the evidences. Going to the first crime scene, the shoe rack
Inside the wooden door before the grill. Taking out cotton buds and sampling evidences, I bagged a brittle blond hair (or issit pieces from the wheat broom..) , sweet wrappers, a blank CD inside the vase, shreds of glasses, a piece of gray fabric, a dead mosquito and a buncha sweet smelling rose petals.

Going under a 4x optical zoom digital microscope - From the highly un-proportional percentage of lead oxide versus calcium oxide and fossiled dust particles..I can conclude that Erry smashed a plate sometimes last month.

Ruling out the possibility that the thief is in fact a rose bearing cute garderner ala` John in Desperate Housewives, the petals probably means that a housemate had another fight with her other half.

The CD…well. Viewing it on the PC, highly wishing that’s it’s a video asking for ransom, but it just contains corrupted data. High probability of an amateur VCD pirate-r living in the house.

Butchering the mosquito, Grissom style,single handed. Err blood samples shows high level of cholesterol. Takleh nak cek DNA sbb Webstars down. Tapi confirm darah orang yang makan burger hari2.

Clues as pointless as Abdullah Hukum LRT station. There’s that blond hair though. Blond, divorced and a druggie. Narrows down the suspect to Britney Spears. Or Pamela. Makes more sense cuz she does looks like she’s got a wheat broom on her head. That.Or i have an albino stalker.

pc was 'deathnoted' at work. had a pretty good idea who's the culprit~ no one else had all the time in the world, u lazy bugger,u!


ade orang berjaya dipaksa berlari skali .. tak payah upah burger pon! series! (hell hath frozen over) woh..dan berjumpe lagi dua pasang kasut lain yg dikenali juga.. semua org mengamalkan hidup pelarian kah sekarang? *syok syok*the more the merrier~

Guess we couldn’t stay in 2006 forever huh? Well .. not gonna wish anyone a happy new year this time. Positively balk at it’s coming and u shouldn’t wish a bad thing on anyone anyway.. so.

2007 thingies:

favourite phrase greeting me on new year’s eve :

Hiro Nakamura (of Heroes) “ raidoo..raidooo ..pom! pom!”

Work :

No changes. Validating rows upon rows of extracted data for analysis is just another insult to anyone’s brilliance.

Jellabies:

Congratulations are in order for my newly engaged housemates. Cheers babes!

(err..how soon should I start my quest for new housemates then? Any volunteers? Preferably lengchai and single . In THAT order ]=P )

Dream:

Still Japan like every other year.

Goals:

Er..also still UK. Trying again this year.

Books:

Nyiahhahah can’t wait for the final installment of Harry Potter. (learnt my lesson the hard way last year. You don’t have to camp in the wee hours in front of MPH to get a book no matter how best-selling.Repeat a million time after me, I.Am.In.Malaysia. Sold Out books? )

Movie:

the list is looooongg and delicious. The Fantastic Four, 30 Days of Night, 300, Bourne ultimatum, Ocean's 13 (June -yeeeha!), then there's the Assasination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford??? (mouthful!); YET another installment of Pirates of the Carribean (May) and not to forget Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix in July. and, the turtles are revived in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turle (March ). wooohoo can go on and on..

well.. the list does look empty n shallow doesn’t it. Have I mentioned I hate new years?

Guess the incessant chattering of an educated fool wif movies on her mind stops here. To embrace the new year. Tsk..tsk.

_________________________miscellanious_____________________

Owh, and in my hometown, the year ends sadly for most – the amount of properties destroyed are enormous.(no comic stores survived the flood. Not one.Sob). Throngs of people make their way into the town after the water recedes and witness the exciting mix of rubbish heaps and stuffs for sale piled next to each other. Naturally, people tried to sell ev'rything they manged to salvage.And almost everyone else ends up shopping.

I guess the flood doesn’t destroy paints. Bile masenye korang siapkan banner ni???

Trust me. The air was thick with the stench of overflowed septic tanks. And money.

Rewashed, Redried, Repackaged –Nope. Not tea leaves you idiot. Shoes.