When the “woke” mania swept the country in 2020, I took a step back and reevaluated where I stood and why I stood there. To my surprise, I found that I agreed with conservatives and libertarians on a number of issues. I opposed childhood gender transitions, unlawful and divisive DEI mandates, and the excesses of Critical Race Theory. I argued against biological males competing in women’s sports and being housed in women’s prisons. I did so loudly and publicly, losing many friends along the way.

Today, some of those same attorneys I worked with are advocating for my right to marry my fiancée to be stripped away.

I fell for obvious right-wing propaganda and rationalized the hate with reason and logic. Now the hate machine is coming for me and that’s not fair!

  • zabadoh@ani.social
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    9 天前

    The whole affair made something clear: for many on the right, their past tolerance of gay and bi people who aligned with them on a few pet issues was never rooted in principle. It was always about convenience. We were never truly accepted — just temporarily useful. And now that some of us have outlived our political utility, they’re more than happy to throw us to the wolves the moment the opportunity arises.

    I am still incredulous at the existence of Log Cabin (gay male) Republicans, or even Peter Thiel.

    Why on earth would you give any support to an organization dedicated to the destruction of people like you?

    Does your own hatred of minorities and the poor make you willing to risk joining forces with those who are likely to come after you next?

    • GraniteM@lemmy.world
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      7 天前

      “Surely all those other people who tried to beat this carnival games were simple country rubes, whereas I have finally figured out the winning strategy that will surely allow me to beat this definitely not-rigged game!”

    • Th4tGuyII@fedia.io
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      9 天前

      Exactly. It’s not exactly like the right-wing hide their distain for all people of the LGBT spectra.

      It’s the classic “but I’m one of the good ones” trope. There’s no such thing, just tokens to be used and tossed away.

      No matter how much you try to be a “good one”, you’ll never truly be accepted amongst those who hate your kin. Once you’ve outlived your usefulness, they’ll eat your face just like everyone else.

    • Kirp123@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      Because Peter Thiel is a billionaire first and a gay man second. He knows that his wealth will insulate him from the consequences of his actions.

      • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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        8 天前

        and he has money to prevent MSM from outing him completely, almost never hear him in the news, and he has paid to silence any criticism of him.

        • resipsaloquitur@lemmy.worldBanned
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          5 天前

          He spent millions to bring down Gawker because Nick Denton wondered aloud in the comments of an article why Peter Thiel was still in the closet.

    • Mniot@programming.dev
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      9 天前

      Peter Thiel has confidence that his own personal power will keep him safe. Since he’s a sociopath, having homosexuality be illegal actually benefits him because if he gets tired of a relationship he can just out the other man and have them executed.

      It’s not entirely clear to me whether history supports his confidence. But little no-name “activists” like the article author are always going to be destroyed.

      • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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        8 天前

        thiel did defenestrated younger boytoy(not the husband) in florida in 2024, when the model was causing “problems” for thiel.

    • crpknkr@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      Because class beats race or sexual preference every time. Peter Thiel is rich first, gay second. Kanye is rich first, black second.

      Those billionaires will use any means they can to accumulate power, just ask Gawker about it.

    • notwhoyouthink@lemmy.zip
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      9 天前

      This may have been explained earlier, apologies for any repetition on my end.

      Internalized hatred is real and is a huge factor in this. Many people, when they feel they are on the ‘other’ side of oppression, easily take on the role of oppressors themselves. They believe they have ‘paid their dues’ and found success, and even feel as though they are even more qualified to judge and weigh the rights and qualifications of those in their previous position. It’s very similar to the mindset of older people who have paid off their student loans and staunchly believe that student loan forgiveness is wrong. They think that since they ‘put the work into it and upheld their end of the bargain’, it somehow diminishes their efforts if those that come after them have an easier path. Our confusion lies in the understanding that this is not the direction that progress exists.

      Another point, which can be separate from the above or exist alongside: it is a simple fact that being a minority in any group does not mean that person is exempt from feeling prejudice or even discrimination towards minorities in other groups and anyone else for that matter. In a world ready to categorize, divide, and split the tiniest hairs to serve that aim, its a small wonder why we see so many hurt people hurting people.

    • MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com
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      9 天前

      Does your own hatred of minorities and the poor make you willing to risk joining forces with those who are likely to come after you next?

      Yes

    • baines@lemmy.cafe
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      9 天前

      peter thiel doesn’t care, it’s about the grift

      nothing will impact him personally

    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      8 天前

      Does your own hatred of minorities and the poor make you willing to risk joining forces with those who are likely to come after you next?

      Yes.

      Exactly that.

      Just yes, that is literally exactly how that works.

      This is a very common theme in the production of leopard food.

      Dumb idiot opportunistic greedy traitors, of one sort or another, who cannot comprehend that patriarchichal heteronormative white christian extremist men … are the primary base of their political power, and they demand subjegation of anyone who isn’t that.

      Like, Ben Shapiro falls into this… he’s a Jew, he’s a Zionist, … Ramiswamy is Indian… everyone whose ever been called an Uncle Tom (or I guess the more modern version is Uncle Ruckus from the Boondocks) … all the Trad Wives that within 5 years barely escape with their lives and sanity intact, or sometimes without those things…

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      8 天前

      Thiel plays it safe by staying out of the spotlight, and backing conservatives behind the scenes. Plus we never hear conservatives every attacking THIEL for being gay for any long periods of time, because he has the msm wrapped around his fingers. the “closest” was his young model SIDEPIECE being defenestrated in florida in 2024, which barely stayed on the news long.

      trumper gays drank the whole koolaid of the right, they think they are special because they are wealthy or rich.

    • urandom@lemmy.world
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      8 天前

      They may destroy you, yes. But they will also oppose those unlawful DEI mandates. At the end of the day, is that not what truly matters?

      /s

  • Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    9 天前

    When the “woke” mania swept the country in 2020, I took a step back and reevaluated where I stood and why I stood there. To my surprise, I found that I agreed with conservatives and libertarians on a number of issues. I opposed childhood gender transitions, unlawful and divisive DEI mandates, and the excesses of Critical Race Theory. I argued against biological males competing in women’s sports and being housed in women’s prisons. I did so loudly and publicly, losing many friends along the way. My stance wasn’t rooted in hate or fear but in a commitment to reason and fairness. My loyalty was to the truth, not to political tribes. Maintaining my integrity cost me greatly, but I believed it was worth it.

    Hey Reid Newton: you’re a bigot and a complete fucking moron. Anyone that has two functioning braincells figured out within 10 minutes of first hearing it that “critical race theory” was just a euphemism for “the honest history of how America has fucked over every racial minority consistently though its entire history”. If you think that DEI or critical race theory are real problems, you have the critical thinking skills of a brick wall. Fuck this gal for trying to rationalize her betrayal of her own community.

    • Mniot@programming.dev
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      9 天前

      100%

      Also the “it wasn’t a fear-based decision, I just rationally opposed all the forced child gender-transitions”. It’s not possible to roll ones eyes hard enough.

      I actually do have empathy for a TERF who’d say, “I uncritically chugged conservative media and become terrified of stories about men ‘transitioning’ as a way to attach women. Now I see that was all lies and I was a fool who never tried putting myself in others’ shoes.”

        • Mniot@programming.dev
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          8 天前

          It’s interesting how the English language makes a phrase like “trans women are women” ambiguous about the number of women that each trans woman is… I always assumed “one” but you raise an interesting question.

            • Mniot@programming.dev
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              7 天前

              The question itself self-answers with a little bit of thought: reading the typo as-is doesn’t make sense and there’s only one obvious correction, which SalmiakDragon provided. So I read their question as more conversation/chattiness rather than genuine confusion. I was replying in kind with an attempt to riff off of my typo: what if the typo was actually intended? Could we find any meaning to the phrase “attach women”? No, not really.

          • HopeOfTheGunblade@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            7 天前

            Given the correlation between trans and plurality, the average is probably higher than one… although I think we would not have much trouble finding a trans woman who would enthusiastically assert her lack of personhood.

    • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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      9 天前

      also it was one fucking book that the PR machine blew out of proportion, I read it at the time and i really struggle to remember what was even in it, it was just some essays about the history of race in the US, which have just merged with all my other memories of similar stories

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      It’s the social trade-off to join the in-group. You get membership, but you’re obligated to conform. So long as conformity is easy and light-weight, the appeal of joining the in-group can override your moral imperatives to others. But then the boundaries of acceptable behavior shift under your feet, and suddenly you can’t be a part of the group without concealing or changing some fundamental part of your life.

      Like, Reid Newton thinks gender transition and DEI and Critical Race Theory are all bullshit. Has she considered just… divorcing her wife and becoming straight? But no, that would be asking to much of herself. Suddenly, the cost of being a part of the in-group has grown too high, because it’s a deeply personal cost.

  • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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    9 天前

    They didn’t “turn on” you. They were never on your fucking side to begin with, and you were a goddamn idiot for believing their very obvious and blatant lies to the contrary.

  • Ooops@feddit.org
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    9 天前

    “To my surprise, I found that I agreed with conservatives and libertarians on […]”

    …totally imaginary issues that only existed in right-wing hallucinations.

    🤣

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    9 天前

    This person needs to develop self-awareness: why is it only becoming a problem when it affects her directly?

    Her issue doesn’t affect me at all but I still want to do the right thing. And I would never vote for Trump because it was pretty clear he wouldn’t do the right thing, in many human right and quality of life scenarios

    (Plus he had a long history as a con man from before he ran for election, before he paid for his sleazy reality show to reset his reputation: I’m still confused how people could fall for this)

    • Velma@lemmy.today
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      9 天前

      why is it only becoming a problem when it affects her directly?

      That’s exactly why it’s a problem. She literally details out in the article that she doesn’t regret fighting against trans rights, they just need to stop now that they’re focused on marriage equality.

    • tburkhol@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      Eh. Sounds like the queer version of a “the only moral abortion is my abortion” pro-lifer. It’s kind of a thing over there.

      • VubDapple@lemmy.world
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        9 天前

        It seems to be a variation in the extent to which one can easily extend empathy outside close kin groups to more extended or even abstract kin groups that defines what makes someone constitutionally more conservative or more liberal. It has to do with fear thresholds and openness to experience traits too but also empathy scope. And so my conclusion is that this woman is constitutionally more inclined towards a conservative mindset and that this is independent of her sexual orientation. Too bad for her that other conservatives will never be reliable allies for her because, even though she identifies with them, they can’t empathize with what she is.

    • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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      9 天前

      The problem isn’t so much about things becoming problems once they affect a person, it’s often that these people were never exposed to things affecting them personally before they became adults.

      I am of the opinion that empathy develops best when people are exposed to life (for this exercise you are welcome to define “life” how you see fit).

      While I have not personally been mistreated for my gender or race, and I have never had anybody murdered or abducted in my personal life, I have had a lot of other Bad Things™ happen to me that has developed a healthy sense of empathy. I can then use that empathy and apply it to those other situations. It’s like the analogy of lifting weights can train you to pick up and move heavy things (not just barbells).

      People like this have led what I believe to be very sheltered lives. Maybe they were spoiled, never told no, whatever. As far as they ever knew the horribleness of the world only happened to other people (in books, papers, movies, and TV shows), who they were taught were deserving of such things, and that it would never happen to them regardless pf anything.

      None of this is meant to excuse anyone’s behavior or lack of empathy. Never would I suggest such a thing. But it may help your sanity in having a possible understanding of how it might happen in the first place.

      It may not; I am not presuming to know you or how you will react to anything I’ve just said.

      YMMV.

      • Jiggle_Physics@piefed.zip
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        9 天前

        Along the way in life I have met plenty of people who did have the awful things in life happen to them, and yet they still take this position. I have met many people who have been subject to bigotry all their lives, but then an trans person comes into the picture, and they expose themselves to be equally bigoted, and equally without empathy, and just as vicious.

        People develop this way because they desperately want to be part of the power holding in-group, not the powerless out-group. So they will have their own out-group of marginalized people, whom they can feel some of that power over.

        • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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          9 天前

          It could be a lot of things. I have learned that with how the world works there is no one single answer for why people do the things they do. So yeah, it could be ignorance as I suggested, a power grab/sense of belonging like you suggest, and/or something else entirely.

          I also think people like this person in the article gets wha they deserve, regardless of why they are the way they are.

    • Count042@lemmy.ml
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      9 天前

      Based on my interactions with you in the past, you were unable to apply this same logic to the genocide in Gaza.

      You don’t actually live by the principle you just stated and hypocritically are fine with throwing someone else under the bus to protect yourself.

      That was several years ago, though. Hopefully you’ve changed.

    • Ooops@feddit.org
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      9 天前

      Also even then it’s no reason at all to take a step back and reevaluate how much of the original talking points were bullshit, too.

  • Guy Ingonito@reddthat.com
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    8 天前

    “I found that while I supported my own rights as a sexual minority, I did not support the rights of other minorities whom I was not apart of”

    • PodPerson@lemmy.zip
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      8 天前

      That’s what it is to think like a conservative:

      “I found that while I supported my own rights, I did not support the rights of others whom I was not a part of.”

    • SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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      8 天前

      There are a lot of people who have benefited from the battles won by progressives yet they vote for conservatives or even fascists. Because they don’t like that progressives continue the battle and fight for other people that aren’t like them.

  • Velma@lemmy.today
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    9 天前

    Many will say I should have seen this coming — that the right has and always will be against LGBT rights. And maybe there’s some truth to that. But that just wasn’t my experience. I was met with open arms by this messy coalition of ex-Democrats and lifelong Republicans, many of whom still support me and my right to marry. I found a community committed to reason and truth. Perhaps I’m simply realizing that there are fewer of us than I originally thought. The radical right is on the warpath against liberalism, trampling centrists, libertarians, and reasonable ring-wingers in the process. Ultimately, I don’t regret my decision. I worked toward what I believed — and still believe — to be true. I still oppose radical gender ideology and Critical Race Theory in schools. I still believe that biological males shouldn’t compete in women’s sports or be housed in women’s prisons. But I will not stand by while LGBT rights are legislated away.

    This bigot still hasn’t learned. They don’t regret anything they’ve done.

  • BillCheddar@lemmy.world
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    8 天前

    99% of American politics makes sense once you understand that MAGA = Narcissist.

    That’s how black/gay/whatever person ends up MAGA. Their narcissism is stronger than their cultural/racial/whatever identity.

    The choices they make, the way propaganda is able to work on them, the evil shit they can talk themselves into supporting? It’s all fueled by narcissism.

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      8 天前

      they also believe if they are well off enough, whites will seem them as equals, whites only see them as TOKENs at best. i saw some asian tubers that slowly became magaty over covid, albiet quite lazily. they think if they say the same talking points they get more views, add a little mysogyny too.

  • leadore@lemmy.world
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    8 天前

    Now the hate machine is coming for me and that’s not fair!

    “It was fair when the hate machine was coming for other people but it’s not fair when it’s coming for <falsetto>meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!</falsetto>”