*Sit and spray

I’m freedickin’ that shit homie

I didn’t piss over my hands.

It’s spam. Yer being spammed.

Second-Largest-Land-Mammaldalf!

I swear my feed is like 50% Trump

Trump trump trump I’m fucking sick of it

Nope I don’t live in a removed

I don’t think I’m remotely interesting enough to warrant using it.

You know you dun goof’d when even Fucker Tardson thinks you’re an asshole.

He’s probably gonna chicken out again anyway.

Personally I’d like to see him live till 100 and watch his fat ass get dragged from courtroom to courtroom in a wheelchair with an oxygen hose up his nose.

Gal bursten it.

Out of a cannon into the sun

There is no need to be upset.

Herp de derp teedle dee tum de too

The “I gotta work early tomorrow but fuck it” Beer

Dont’t be hysterical. It was a barrel of lye instead. Sike!

Pretty sure Stephen King wrote a short story like this.

What if I like snorting cocaine by myself in the dark while crying?

Never mind elaborate projects. I have many thousands of hours in some Bethesda game I never even finished. I can be hundreds of hours into a playthrough then not play for a week. When I pick it up again I lost track of what I was doing, so I have to make a new character and start from scratch again.