Multitudes
Where’s the Whimsy?
There seems to be a collective black cloud hanging over everyone at this moment and it’s a curious phenomenon to me. In all of history, humans have experienced one challenge or the other, this is not a new thing and not what has pulled my attention. However, this particular wave seems to be more than what we’re facing but rather, what it’s taking from us. Before I proceed, I’ll like to preface this by saying all of what I’m going to yap about is anecdotal information and not backed by anything other than my personal experience and observations. No, I do not have any peer reviewed studies or research. Feel free to disagree and disregard if it doesn’t apply to you.
Moving on.
Recently, I spoke with someone who said they missed when they engaged in “gardening” for the fun of it. I responded that it’s actually been a while since I’ve imbibed in the “nectar of the gods” out of pleasure. Now, it’s purely for survival. I had also seen a post by a friend that said life’s gotten so serious, they don’t even know what’s going on with any popular shows. I have a friend that doesn’t follow any new music because she simply can’t be bothered to. Another friend said he no longer feels the need to follow any new shows or movies because he’s too occupied. Someone told me they feel they’re in a stage where everything that can go wrong is going wrong all at once and they’re just waiting for it to balance. Another friend told me recently that she doesn’t even feel the days passing and just realised she’s not really left her house since May.
Can you see the trend?
I could go on and on, and this is just what I’ve seen from my own friends. I haven’t even touched tweets and videos and media I’ve engaged with recently. Even the new Spider-Man is essentially about Peter struggling with his mental health. That’s how much it’s seeped into the fabric of humanity at this moment.
Now, like I already said, I’m not new to people struggling or having life happen. But there is something so incredibly soul draining about the world today. It isn’t so much so that hard things are happening, it’s that all the ways to engage with the world’s joys are being stripped off at the same time. The world is burning down, our individual lives are crashing down and at the same time, nothing even sparks joy anymore. None of the regular forms of escape is offering much in terms of an actual escape. There’s a collective air of defeat and despair that is etched into everyone’s subconscious and it’s working really hard to make it into the forefront of our consciousness.
I’m not sure if it’s the depleted attention span, the dopamine addiction or the loneliness epidemic that is causing this drain, or something else entirely but something is happening. We used to have challenges but then gather with friends, go out, lose ourselves in good music and company, let loose and feel this resilience and confidence to face whatever happens. There used to feel like there was a point to all of it. Like, all the struggles made life’s joys that much sweeter and accomplishments that much better. Now, it feels like everyone is just going through the motion. Like the only emotions getting accessed are disappointment and despair or numbness. At the very most, some highly muted sense of happiness that is incredibly fleeting and altogether chemically engineered. There’s a dearth of real passion and soul.
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Let me zoom in a little and personalise this. I’m not a very happy person, in that it doesn’t come naturally to me. I can be very happy but I feel I have to work very hard for every second of joy I feel. But I’m a highly emotional person so when I do feel happy, it’s intense. Just like every other emotion I experience, fortunately or unfortunately. However, I’ve realised recently that no matter how hard I try, the happiness feels like a distant memory. Like, I’m laughing in that moment or excited about something but mentally, it’s like I’m watching myself do this and feeling very detached from it. Like it’s a performance I’m subconsciously putting on and I’m not actually there, feeling it. This in turn makes me less willing to fight for the joy, because if it’s not even real, what’s the point. I find it hard to seek out the things that give me life because they no longer do. And for me at least, the whole point of this dreary existence is to be happy. If I can’t feel that, then what am I doing?
And I feel like we’re all losing that sense of whimsy and excitement. There’s a certain dimness in people’s eyes that makes my soul ache. And all I have is this helpless feeling that makes me just want to switch it all off and be numb. But I can’t, because I’m designed to feel too much, all the time.
I’m not sure what I’m trying to accomplish with this, except that I think that the world needs to heal. We’re all living wraiths just tumbling through earth with no sense of peace or direction. We’ve all found a few false sense of accomplishment or goals to get us through the days and we “lock in” over the weeks and optimise over the months but it’s all so fleeting. Where I used to feel compelled to dance during random times or listen to music and just get lost, now I can see myself doing it and feeling nothing. Just like I know someone is painting or cooking or swimming like they normally do but feeling none of the exhilaration that normally comes with it. I feel scooped out. Like parts of me have been taken away and other parts have collapsed into that space but that’s not really what’s mean to be there and so it’s filled but still hollow.
All I know is, we can’t keep going like this. Most of humanity’s greatest achievements and beautiful history is as a result of our shared resilience.
And joy is what creates resilience.
Hope for a better future is what creates determination. Want for peace is what creates fierce warriors. We cannot have a true blazing fire without the need for warmth. Wanting to protect our happiness and that of others is what makes us tap into the power within. Without the joy and love and excitement, the fight is no more and we’re just robots doing as we think we should. And that sounds like an awful future.
So, I don’t know how, but we have to find the joy again. If nothing else, we have to try and try really hard. Find that joy in your life again. Ignite the spark. Search for the reason to live and love and hold on so tight to it.
I hope I come to you next time with gladder tidings and a lighter heart. Till then, stay safe out there and find your whimsy.
In the meantime, remember,
Try, you must.
