Go Forth And Have Rituals
Important Note: it appears we have reached this point in humanity where it’s necessary to say that all parts of this were created by a human being and AI had no parts in it. Every iota of brilliance is mine. As well as all the weird AF examples, typos and annoying run-on sentences. Thank you for reading from this human writer :).
PC: Me!!!
I think rituals have a bad reputation, especially if you’re black Nigerian growing up watching old Nollywood movies with Patience and all the others. The Cambridge dictionary defines rituals as
…a way of doing something in which the same actions are done in the same way every time…
Webster Dictionary defines it as
…an act or series of acts regularly repeated in a set precise manner…
And yes, they both have other definitions that relate to religion but that’s not the focus for today.
I think the art of repetitive activity is crucial for grounding and for calming the nervous system. Now, I’m not a therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist so what do I know?
I can only speak as a human being but I brought some receipts and according to Psychology Today,
Boyer and Liénard (2006) proposed that the repetitious and rigid behaviours characteristic of rituals act to reduce anxiety because they increase what psychologists call cognitive load. Cognitive load refers to the cognitive resources we have available to us to solve whatever problem is facing us. Rituals increase our cognitive load, overloading our working memory and reducing the attention available for processing anxiety. As a result, anxiety is suppressed because there isn’t enough cognitive capacity to go around.
And according to a Harvard Business School journal,
…rituals may prove helpful because they delay performance for a beneficial period of time, improve concentration, increase perceived control, or boost motivation
So yes, being ritualistic can be as simple as having a specific cup that you make your hot drink with. And that specific manner of boiling the kettle and getting the milk and warming some cookies. Or that specific part of the couch you sit on and the window you look out from with a book you try to read and a particular blanket you throw on. Put in any form of regularity, and bam, that’s a ritual.
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A lot of us have those days that there’s a certain time that we go to the bathroom to take the day off. Might be those Fridays after a long week or those Tuesdays after five consecutive long days. We go in, take our clothes, make-up and all that stuff off.
And if you’re anything like me, it’s probably done in a meticulous way. There’s candles lit, a playlist in the background, my bed already laid with fresh linens before I even start, so I have that to return to. My robe fresh from the laundry and so fluffy. The bath running, steaming up the whole space and smelling lavender fresh. That’s my favourite scent by the way, lavender. Now, I don’t use makeup or have any comprehensive skin care, just face wash so that step is not for me. But I’m sure those who do, would take their time to remove all the gunk of the day while the bath fills. Personally, I hum (or sing loudly) and dance lightly while choosing what book to read. Or pretend to read, depending on the day, lol. Definitely no phones though, not for me. But I’m not judging anyone who does, if it helps the mood, then go for it.
I know for others, it could start earlier. Like coming back from work and having the space you take off your shoes and then walking in a specific amount of steps to take off your coat, your bag, your keys, and other things you have on you. Then settling in for a specific TV show for specific amount of time. These are all forms of ritualistic activities.
Yeah sure, rituals could mean taking a human being, killing them, taking their blood and using it to create money out of thin air or slitting the blood of a virgin girl under the full moon to save the town from demonic forces or whatever else Nollywood, Hollywood, and all the other woods can conjure up.
However, I think those are just a type of ritual and to be honest with you, unless it happens repetitively I don’t even think it counts as a ritual. I think that’s just human sacrifice.
Rituals are meant to be these little acts that we have in our lives that we do on and on and on and it feels familiar and like love, home, or family. It represents stability and consistency where there might otherwise be none. In-fact, a lot of us are probably born into them, as humans have had rituals for as far back as you can go in history.
And sometimes when you’re away from home it can be so stifling, that you feel so homesick and the only thing that really helps is getting the recipe for that meal that mum makes every Sunday. Then you start making it every Sunday and sure you wouldn’t have your siblings or your parents around you but you’d have that thing that’s reminds you of home, thereby starting your own ritual.
I think rituals are incredibly important especially now in this increasingly fast paced “innovative” world with flying cars and AI to remind you to talk to your children. Which, by the way, what are we doing guys? I ask with genuine fear. But moving on.
I believe with rituals, humans can be so much more grounded and that could help us be more resilient and emotionally balanced. Sure, making yourself a cup of tea wouldn’t suddenly help the cost of living crisis or make your long distance besties be in the next room. It will, however, make you feel a lot more in control of your daily life. And in this deeply chaotic world, that would make all the difference.
And it might not work. But atleast you would have tried.
Anyways, this is what I felt compelled to share with you today. Till next time my dears when I bring you more musing from my mind. In the meantime, remember,
Try you must.
