My own mind
It is hard to explain this but I am going to do my best. The concept of society, the sense of community, always hinged on the fact that a number of people share the same beliefs and ideologies. How many times have you seen people agreeing on a narrative, and you think, "But the facts clearly demonstrate something else?” You think that it is impossible for them not to see the evidence and remain agreeable. You question whether they have a mind of their own. But society thrives on this, and only one thing threatens it — having your own mind.
Embracing my own mind means I threatened and questioned those same beliefs, and as a consequence, instead of embracing the difference of opinion, I was and have continuously been pushed out of my community. Having my own mind meant that at the age of 35, I had to learn to focus my energy and find comfort within rather than without. Imagine wanting to talk to someone about something, yet knowing you have no one to talk to but yourself. You may choose to write it down, or scream but that is when you feel lonely. You need to get out of your head, but how?
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I began writing more and focusing on some entrepreneurial endeavours, which I don’t guarantee will succeed, but the more I think about it, the more I feel that my passion is my outlet. The surprising and satisfying thing is that ideas have not stopped pouring out of me. My mind is now free to explore avenues I never explored before, avenues that can help me achieve my goals in life. Having my own mind is also enabling me to raise my child in the manner I believe is suitable for celebrating his identity, with guidance.
For the first time in 35 years, I know that having my own mind is not a disadvantage. Let me tell you, it was not an easy feat to get there. Instead, I now realise that instead of using my own mind to understand why people have a certain attitude towards me, why I am not invited or receive hostile looks from those I have never met but are close to the people deemed close to me, I should have focused on building what I always aspired to build.
Having my own mind should never have been used to make me feel like there was something wrong with me. Yet those who don’t have their own will definitely try. To that, I say ‘let them…’
