Push?
How hard should you push for that job? For that date? For that sale?
Proverbs won’t help; they contradict: He who hesitates is lost. Look before you leap. Good comes to those who wait. Of course, sometimes it’s wise to leap, sometimes to look, sometimes to wait.
Let’s see if we can generalize a rule of thumb from those specifics: job, date, sale.
Job
If you’re in demand, you benefit from waiting — Employers are more likely to go after you because you’re not desperate. They’re more likely to think they’re lucky to get you and to offer a more generous deal than if you’re pulling on their apron strings.
But if you’re not in much demand, you probably need some understated pushing. Sure, apply for advertised jobs the regular way but after, if you know someone who knows the employer, have that person tout you. Or write a supplementary note to the employer saying that you’re going the extra mile because you believe you’re a particularly good fit for the position and sense you’d enjoy the job. But if that yields nothing, rather than burn more of your emotional gas by following up, let alone more than once, you might follow the Biblical injunction to not be willful — excessively persistent.
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Relationship
What’s the probability of attracting that date or platonic friend you crave by just subtly making it known you’re available, for example, standing in their line of sight or saying a more heartfelt-than-standard, “Hi, how are you?”
Is more required? Still, less is more, for example, a mild flirtatious remark such as “Nice sweater” or a tiny gift — a single wrapped truffle on their desk. Doing more risks seems desperate. We all like to win the chase rather than be chased.
Sales/Fundraising
Less is more is particularly applicable to selling and its nonprofit analog, fundraising. Some top salespeople rarely ask for the sale. They talk less and listen more, sharing the information that would most benefit that buyer or donor. Pounding away at a prospect may get a sale but usually only once. And besides, do you really want to put your head on the pillow knowing you’re the stereotypical sleazy closer?
A rule of thumb?
Generally, less is more, and when you have to press down on the pedal, a gentle touch is usually wiser than pedal-to-the-metal.
I read this aloud on YouTube.
Marty Nemko is a career and personal coach, and author of 35 books including How to Do Life. You can reach him at mnemko@gmail.com
