Get Ready for… Childfree Christmas Bingo!
Yes, it’s THAT time of year again, folks.
The endless repetitions of Christmas are firmly upon us. Chris Rea and Slade are clogging up the airwaves, everyone’s ordering glittery cocktails, and there’s a mile-long queue at the post office.
You might have noticed that seasonal conversations get pretty repetitive, too. “What are you doing for Christmas?” “Got all your shopping done yet?” “Any plans for New Year?”
If you haven’t got kids, the chances are you’ll also hear variations on the following little list. Over the years I’ve started adding them all up, and once I reach a certain number of ‘points’, I reward myself with an extra Christmas present.
Why not give it a go yourself?
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Oh, and if you’ve got any others to add, share away. I’m always looking to update my list… after all, the more ignorant comments, the more treats!
“Christmas is for the kids.”
(It HAS to be. Why else would I have spent all my time and money cultivating their belief in a red-suited stranger with a beard who hands out free presents?)
“Can you cover for me at work?”
(I’ve got children and you haven’t, so naturally my Christmas is more important than yours.)
“Are you sure you don’t want kids? You’d be a great mum/dad!”
(I want you to have EXACTLY the same exhausting, mostly thankless life as me.)
“We’re just buying for the kids this year, so…”
(Don’t expect anything in return for the money you’ve spent on our kids.)
“Pets can’t take the place of children, especially at Christmas.”
(I can’t imagine any family other than my own.)
“It’s a shame your parents haven’t got any grandchildren to spoil.”
(Even though I’ve never met them before, and I have no idea what they think.)
“Aren’t you lonely/bored/missing out without kids at Christmas?”
(I dislike my own company.)
Score: 1 point per statement, 2 points per question (these earn double points because of the additional expectation of an answer.)
I’ll leave it to you to decide how many points win you a Christmas treat… but for me, it’s anything over 10.
Good luck!
