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Got several books finished over the last few weeks. J says I’m happier when I’m reading more; I don’t know that it’s a laughing-out-loud happier, but I do feel a great deal of satisfaction in completing things, and in having deeper things to ponder than _fill-in-favorite-TV-Show-here_. As my mind races along with everything I’m thinking about these days, having a space to put an order and shape to my thoughts has been very helpful — Thanks for reading along!
In The Life You Save May Be Your Own: An American Pilgrimage, the author talks about Walker Percy’s belief that one of the ways modern man can save himself from alienation is in the act of reading. Reading can connect us to an other, a fellow passenger through life who can help us name our condition, show us that we are not alone, and hopefully point us towards a cure, which would be connection. “As the alienated reader recognizes his condition in the text, the book ‘heals the very wound it re-presents.'” That eureka moment I hope we have all had of “I’m not alone!”
Percy’s greatest novel is considered to be his first: The Moviegoer. After reading the bios in The Life You Save, I’ve been interested in reading some of the works of each of the 4, and so started with this one. It was everything you’d expect from a great novel dealing with the question of alienation: general feelings of sadness, disconcertment, and malaise. It doesn’t have a “happy ending”. The main character finds more life and meaning in movies and books, and by the end of the novel, you are not sure that he has found any other way. Very well written, and although it describes life in the late 50s (published 1960), it still resonates with the world today in which an average American can tell you more about the daily struggles of pop stars and reality show participants than the people in their daily lives.
And don’t think for a second that I excuse myself from that characterization either: I decided to give up the internet over my lunch break at work over Lent & read instead because I found that the hour of web-surfing left me more disgruntled and feeling out of touch with myself & everyone around me than burying my head in a book for an hour. Odd, that. The internet can be a very powerful source of connection: for information, for keeping up with friends, for making new friends. I love reading the blogs of those I know (they’re like a personal letter) & those I don’t know (almost like a novel, they’re a connection with an Other like me in some way). And yet … there is a limit to how much I can take; when the good thing is taken too far and becomes a bad thing. Now that Lent is over, I give myself 10 mins or so to check personal email, blogs, and catch up on stuff. Then I make myself pull out the book for the day. So far it has been a good balance for me.
Is that why J says reading more has made me happier? I think perhaps so. I have really enjoyed Kathleen Norris these past few weeks as I feel I’ve found an Other who lives a life I find admirable, interesting, and challenging. (So much so that I have found it difficult to know what to say here about her two books, in case you are wondering.) Will everything I read be this thought-provoking and challenging? Probably not. I don’t know if my mind & life could take it if they were. But I am enjoying this season even as I’m curious as to where next it will lead.
Last night in our home community group, we got a little off-topic, but as always with this group, off-topic is still very edifying. We found ourselves marveling over the mystery of the Trinity, which caused me to think of my new icon which I had wanted to share with everyone.
I got it at a local store recently. I say “my new icon” as if I have several or a collection, but actually this is my first (hopefully not to be always my only). I had been thinking I’d like to have something at my desk at work, but didn’t know of any particular image that I would want. But when I saw this one, I was struck immediately. I didn’t even know what particularly it meant or stood for; it just appealed to me.
I finally looked it up on the interweb, and found out it is one of the most famous icons of the Trinity. The icon was done by Rublev, a Russian iconographer from the early 1400s, and there is a great step-by-step explanation of the icon HERE. It is an image of the three visitors to Abraham, who tell him of his coming child, and the three visitors or angels are often thought of to either actually be the Godhead in human form or angels that are also symbolic of the Godhead.
Genesis 18 “1 The LORD appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day. 2 Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground.” NIV
I’ve never thought that hard about it, but even just now pasting that quote in, it is interesting that it says “the Lord appeared” (singular) and then Abraham saw “three men” (plural). As they talk, sometimes the passage says “they” say, and sometimes it says “the Lord” said. Interesting. I guess in the back of my mind I always took the three men to be symbolic, but it seems as if there is more going on here than that.
Anyway, there is some debate as to which figure in the icon represents which Person of the Trinity, but the most common position is that the Father is on the left, Jesus in the middle, and the Holy Spirit on the right. Our discussion last night centered around upon which do we focus: Christ or the Father? And I see a bit of our discussion & answer here: On the one hand, Christ and the Holy Spirit both lean in towards the Father, in obedience, in acknowledgement of all they do is through the Father. For through the gospels, Jesus talks about he was sent by the Father and obeys the Father’s will:
John 8:28-29 “28So Jesus said, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am the one I claim to be and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. 29The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.””
And yet, on the other hand, Christ is in the middle, the focus of the icon, with his hand stretched towards the cup, the symbol of his own sacrifice. (The two fingers are a common symbol of the mystery of Christ himself: Fully God and Fully Man.) He comes at the Father’s bidding, and yet all glory is given to him.
John 17: 1-5 “1After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed: “Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. 2For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. 3Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. 4I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. 5And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.”
And then the Spirit — as if two weren’t complicated enough! John talks of both the Father and the Son sending the Spririt:
John 14:26 “26But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”
John 16:13-14 “13But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. 14He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and making it known to you.”
So what was our answer? Yes. Father. Son. Spirit. Each and All. The Father is the one who gives authority and power to the Son. The Son comes to reconcile us back to the Father – and how do we see the Father? – the Son responds ‘Look at ME to see the Father.’ And then the Spirit is with us now, to guide, to convict, to lead. (Am I the only one bothered by the common phrases ‘Christ’s spirit’ or ‘spirit of God’, as if the Holy Spirit were not a Person in and of himself, but just some holy afterglow? ) Each is deserving of contemplation and focus: individually and also in how they each live and move with each other. Different seasons of the church year or different seasons of our life cause us to pull in closer to one or the other, but they are always all there.
One final thought on the icon is how they show true communion with each other. A commitment and focus on each other, so you get the impression they are deeply committed to the unity they have together. And yet, an openness, an invitation to join the group. Space were one could come in as like a little child, and one of them would pull you on their lap and let you sit at the big table for a while. Hmmm I really like that last thought. I’ll have to think on that one for a while …
[Post-script: With all the comics and pictures and momentos around my work desk, I thought it would be a good idea to have something to point my mind to other higher things. The more I do, the more I feel on the edge of a grand mystery. Even as I began this post, I wasn’t sure if I had much to say on the subject, but now that all that came out of me from somewhere, I feel challenged to spend more time reflecting on this in the future days and weeks ahead.]
Dogs & kittens sleeping together?! What’s next!
Rupert kept getting up as soon as I brought out the camera, so imagine him as he actually was – asleep with his head on the kittens. And I should mention, my feet are under those blankets – they are all willing to sleep together as long as it means being close to me! They also love to wrestle together & chase each other through the house. Never quiet around here for long.
There is much to talk about. I finished two more books, both by Kathleen Norris. Last Sunday night we hosted a Seder dinner, and last night we led a Good Friday service. All good things, for which I am thankful, but we’ll talk of them later.
For it has also been another week in a long season of sorrow. Our friend John continues to fight his battle, but the prospects are grim. It is hard to be so far away, even as I know we are part of the same body. “But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” And so it has been another season of learning how to suffer and rejoice with one another, as members of the same body.
J last night spoke of John (the disciple) and his reaction to Christ’s suffering. Remaining with him til the end and caring for his mother. Not running from it, not denying it was happening, but fully entering into the sorrow while also trusting in God’s plan. And that has been the challenge and lesson for me. How to not run or ignore – for it can seem so much easier just to pretend it’s not happening or that it doesn’t affect me. How not to despair, but trust in God’s provision for all involved. Feeling the sorrow & crying a lot more than I’d like. Continuing to hold them up in prayer. Being open & vulnerable by sharing with others what is really on my heart and mind.
But also remaining mindful of the good things still going on around me. The great blessing of this week in the Seder meal, the Good Friday service last night, & Easter to come. The good things happening with friends, with family. New babies everywhere I look. Prepartions for a girl’s weekend with my dear friends. Part of the directions for the Seder preparation was to fill our home with spring flowers, which have been a source of joy all week – in both their own beauty and in the hilarity of watching our young kittens react to them.
Is that not the tension of our life here on Earth? – joy and sorrow, co-mingled. Good Friday and Easter Sunday. The suffering that had to be endured for the victory to be won.
Happy Palm Sunday! We are having people over for a special dinner tonight, which I’ll have to share about later — But in the meantime, I thought I’d share a little of the knitting as I took some new photos this morning.
First, the finished pregnancy/nursing sweater for my sister. I started it last fall, hoping to be done by early winter, which then became Christmas, which then became before the baby came (due February 5th), but didn’t actually get finished until a week or two after the baby was born. Hence pregnancy sweater is now a nursing sweater. But it is done! (I just need to mail it 🙂
I’ve also been working on a special project for a dear friend Marge – See a link to her blog The Fruitful Vine on the side. I got the inspiration for the lace stole from her blog title – it has two different types of vines climbing up. The large motif is repeated in the middle, and then on the right side, it looks the same as the picture except the smaller leaves lean in the other direction. I love how the two different patterns looks repeated like this.
I had thought to keep it a surprise, but then I told her I was making “something”, and then I thought – why keep it a surprise? I hope she enjoys seeing pictures of it as it is coming along (and I hope she likes it!) as I’m quite happy with how it is turning out.
Square Peg into a Round Hole 