#GempakVideoNews : Peristiwa Hitam Tinggal Parut, Remuk Hati Bekas Ratu Cantik Lihat Ibu Menangis Berjuang Tuntut Keadilan - “Saya Tahu Kesakitan Yang…”

1 year ago

Bukan mudah untuk pelakon dan bekas ratu cantik, Shakila Saiful kembali bangkit selepas peristiwa hitam yang berlaku dalam kehidupannya.

Transcript

00:00And she cried a lot. She said, where is the justice for my daughter? And

00:11she asked Hakim too. She said, you know, I'm an old woman. But until now, all I've been seeing,

00:16my daughter is suffering from the very first beginning. And I thought when I

00:20got my daughter married to him, I thought they will change my daughter. But they turned my daughter's life into hell.

00:51To find out more about the controversy that hit Shakila, let's meet Buat Exclusive with Gempak.

00:57Gempak together with Shakila, whose name is Tular Baru-Baruk. So let's ask Kila,

01:02who is Kila actually and why is she Tular Baru-Baruk?

01:06Good morning, Astro Gempak. My name is Shakila, 28 years old.

01:09I think my recent viral case is because of the victory of my court case. Not one case, but four cases.

01:17And it's also a lot of attention because it involves me, where I'm from the entertainment industry,

01:23and also a former judge, against a well-known religious figure.

01:29Kila, you've just made a new accusation that really surprised a lot of people, right?

01:33So maybe you can explain a little bit about how strong you are to make that accusation.

01:40Actually, it's not easy for me to make that accusation. Because before I

01:45made that accusation, I tried my best to take care of myself. Before I went that deep, I did try to

01:53reach out to them and so on. But when I was ignored for almost like nearly one to two months,

02:00I became like, that's what makes me to, because I was going through depression.

02:04So that's what makes me, triggered me to explode and write paragraphs on Facebook and post it.

02:10And I tagged my ex-father-in-law there. So from there, the accusation started from there.

02:16Even though the posting was only 30 minutes, I took it down later onwards, but it started there.

02:21And also recently, I've posted something on my Instagram.

02:25People were a bit surprised because I won the court case.

02:29So why did I become suicidal? I think that's the main question.

02:32Actually, if I want to be honest, if you want to compare the weight of the victory

02:36with the pain that I've been suffering for 22 years, I'm suffering.

02:42The pain is actually heavier than the victory.

02:44Even though I won, at the same time, I'm going through a lot of depression.

02:48Because I still got cyberbullied by those who supported my ex-father-in-law and so on.

02:53I still got a lot of people coming after me, trying to mess with me and my family.

02:58So at the same time, I'm still unstable yet. The trauma is still there.

03:03So at one point, it suddenly flicked and then all my past traumas came one by one.

03:09It's like a flashback. One by one, from when I was 6 years old to when I was 28 years old.

03:14One by one, it flashed back and flashed back.

03:17After when I was in the rehab, when I recovered, I made a statement on my Instagram and Facebook.

03:23I was explaining my situation because I didn't want people to misunderstand.

03:26Why did she won 4 court cases? Why did she want to kill herself?

03:30Because I'm trying to explain to them that regardless of how many court cases I won,

03:35the pain that I was trying to bear for 22 years is heavier than winning the court case.

03:41How's your relationship with your family there?

03:44I haven't been in contact with my family there anymore.

03:46I think for more than 2 years, we don't keep in touch anymore.

03:50You didn't go to court, right?

03:51Can you share with us?

03:52There was a claim that you had bad intentions when you exposed things like this, right?

03:56So what was your comment?

03:57I didn't have any bad intentions.

03:59I was simply standing out for the truth, for my rights.

04:02For my rights.

04:03Because my rights were there.

04:05It was taken away from me.

04:06And that's as far as I can comment because our case is still ongoing.

04:10How was your family's reaction during that time?

04:14My family was in shock.

04:15But at the same time, my father was battling cancer.

04:18The cancer was lymphoma, stage 2.

04:20So my father is not well.

04:21My mom, on the other hand, she's trying to be strong for me even though I know she's very much weak.

04:27So my family, me, my mom, we suffered a lot.

04:30We suffered a lot.

04:32At one point, we didn't know what to do.

04:35We don't know.

04:36We really don't know.

04:37I still remember when I first received the summons from my in-law, my father-in-law.

04:41I called the high court at that time.

04:43I said, if I don't have a lawyer, can I represent myself?

04:46The court said, no, you have to have a lawyer.

04:48Because this case has to be fought in court.

04:50I said, but I don't have money.

04:51It's okay, ma'am.

04:52You can try to ask for help from the court bureau.

04:56They will never take a defamation case.

04:58They'll take general cases.

04:59So, but alhamdulillah, Allah is always there for me.

05:03I managed to find a very good lawyer to carry my case at the end.

05:07Even though it's very difficult for us at the beginning.

05:09But alhamdulillah, all I can say is all of this happened because of Allah.

05:13So I'm thankful for that.

05:14Through difficult days, like you said, pray to God.

05:18What did you ask from God at that time?

05:21I still remember during the beginning, when I first got the summons, nobody was on my side.

05:26I was all alone.

05:27There were no supporters.

05:29And I had only my mom by my side.

05:32So at that time, every time I prayed, I would cry.

05:36I just asked one thing from Allah.

05:37Please show me the right way.

05:39Show me the path.

05:40You put this task on me.

05:42You bestow this task upon me.

05:43So don't leave me alone to go through this.

05:46Please guide me along.

05:47I just asked for that.

05:48I repeated it over and over again.

05:49And in my desperation, I also asked for that.

05:52Please guide me along.

05:53Because I don't know what to do.

05:54So that's what I repeated every time in my prayer.

05:58And until today, I still thank Allah for everything that he's given me.

06:03And also to give me the strength to overcome everyday obstacles.

06:06You lost three children, right?

06:09So how did you face all of this?

06:11This is a heavy question.

06:12And it's a bit sensitive for me.

06:14It's not easy for, I think, I believe, for any mother to lose even one child.

06:20The first one that I lost was a twin.

06:22And that was because I was persuaded to do an abortion.

06:27And I was persuaded by thinking it's the right thing to do.

06:29And the second one happened during our marriage.

06:33When I had a miscarriage.

06:34Also, it's connected to the abortion.

06:36Because our womb wasn't strong enough.

06:39I was having issues with my ex-husband.

06:42So stress.

06:43So losing three children, I think that was the top of the iceberg for me.

06:51That was the tip of the iceberg.

06:53And just after the miscarriage, eight days.

06:59So just imagine, by the time I needed my husband the most.

07:02He left me at my weakest.

07:05So I had to go through, I believe, hell.

07:07That was hell for me in this world.

07:09I was very broken at that time.

07:11I think my mom saw how, you know.

07:13I was around 60 kg.

07:15I dropped all the way to 50.

07:17Because I was not eating and this and that.

07:19I went to severe depression.

07:21Until at one point, when I started to get suicidal.

07:26I started to overdose myself and this and that.

07:33That's when I finally, until today, I'm under hospital Kajang.

07:37For psychiatric.

07:38I still have ongoing session.

07:40So it means that the trauma is still there.

07:43Even until today.

07:44It's just that I have mastered the art of not showing it in public.

07:48And to conceal it as much as I can.

07:50But 22 years trauma is not something that will disappear overnight.

07:54So things like this do need time.

07:56I am under healing process.

07:58If you want to ask me today, how am I doing?

08:00I cannot say I'm fine, I'm great.

08:02I will just say I'm healing and I'm still healing.

08:04So it will take time.

08:06But God willing, I know I'm not alone.

08:09My mom's there.

08:10Allah is there.

08:10Whatever obstacle that comes in my way.

08:13God willing, I'll be able to go through it.

08:15Did your mom cry at that time?

08:17She cried a lot.

08:18If she's here with me right now, she cried a lot.

08:22Even in the court, she cried a lot.

08:24And when I see her like that, I cried too.

08:26Because I know the pain my mom.

08:28And I know the pain for any mom.

08:30To see their daughter going through such a test like that.

08:33It's very heavy.

08:34When I see my mom crying.

08:35And my mom is about 65, 66 years old.

08:39She's not a young woman.

08:40She can't even walk.

08:41She needs assistance.

08:42People to assist her to go to the court.

08:46And she still stood up there, standing out for her daughter.

08:49And she cried a lot.

08:51She said, where is the justice for my daughter?

08:54And...

09:00And she asked the judge.

09:02She said, you know, I'm an old woman.

09:04But until now, all I've been seeing my daughter is suffering.

09:07From the very first beginning.

09:08And I thought when I let my daughter marry him.

09:10I thought they will be, they will change my daughter.

09:13But they turned my daughter's life into hell.

09:16So that was very heavy for my mom actually.

09:24Like I said, it was not easy.

09:26It was not easy at all.

09:29But what gave me the strength.

09:30Is when I see my mom.

09:32She's a 65 years old woman.

09:35And she still wants to fight for her with her daughter.

09:38Even though she's weak.

09:39She's sick.

09:39I see my mom there and I ask myself.

09:41I have to be strong for her.

09:43Because nobody's gonna be there for her.

09:45And I need to be strong to fight for my rights.

09:47That has been taken away from me.

09:53And I also believe that I'm not alone.

09:55Allah is always there with me.

09:56My mother's prayer is always there with me.

09:59Two of the most powerful things in the world is always there with me.

10:07Because sometimes I ask myself.

10:09What did I do to deserve this?

10:19To be abused in such way.

10:20So if you want to say now.

10:22Okay, it's a different story.

10:22But I'm still young.

10:26My test, you know.

10:27So it was very heavy for me.

10:29And it was very sad.

10:30Because I always ask myself.

10:31What did I do to deserve this?

10:33But then I realized.

10:34Allah bestowed this task upon me.

10:37Because He wants to make me a stronger woman.

10:44I honestly always look things in the positive way.

10:46Every one of every single man.

10:50That come across my life.

10:51Even though they try to take advantage of me.

10:54I would never look at it as unlucky.

10:56Because they brought a lesson to me.

10:58And I learned from that mistake.

11:00And it made me stronger.

11:01If they didn't come into my life.

11:03I might not be this strong.

11:04So I don't look at it as something unlucky.

11:07But I look at it as an opportunity to make me stronger.

11:10So I look at it in a positive way.

11:16This year is almost coming to an end.

11:18So inshallah next year.

11:20It's gonna be new.

11:21I've started to get an offer to act again.

11:24And most of the project is coming up next year.

11:27And I'm coming back to the entertainment industry.

11:30And also I'm getting back my job as a cabin crew.

11:33Inshallah next year as well.

11:34In January.

11:35So whatever I lost before.

11:38I'm gaining it back.

11:39Alhamdulillah.

11:40I believe next year inshallah.

11:43With Allah's grace.

11:44I believe next year is gonna be a fresh start for me.

#GempakVideoNews : Peristiwa Hitam Tinggal Parut, Remuk Hati Bekas Ratu Cantik Lihat Ibu Menangis Berjuang Tuntut Keadilan - “Saya Tahu Kesakitan Yang…”

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