- 2 weeks ago
Would I Lie to You? S19E00 At Christmas 2025
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00:00Sorts the facts from the fibs on David Mitchell's team tonight musician
00:04broadcaster and national treasure it's Jules Holland
00:13Radio 1 and Radio 1 extra it's breakfast show host Swazie
00:22And on Lee Mack's team tonight a star of stage and screen someone called the midwife it's Helen George
00:30And comedian actor and best-selling children's author is David Walliams
00:43We begin with round one home truths where our panelists read out a statement from the card in front of them now to make things harder
00:49They've never seen the card before so they've no idea what they'll be faced with
00:53It's up to the opposing team to sort the fact from the fiction Swazie your first up tonight
01:00Okay
01:02I love Christmas so much. I put my tree and all the decorations up in September
01:09Well, I hope it's not true because if it is you are very irritating
01:18Easter but I don't buy the eggs in November do I
01:21Why do you do it so early?
01:23I don't know I got married in September
01:25And so I just thought when we got into the first place we lived in I saw the tree on offer
01:30We might as well just get it and then at that point we thought well
01:33We might as well decorate it
01:35Was it a plastic tree or just plastic can I just remind all of you is what I mean?
01:39Well, there's a lot of people who do celebrate Christmas all year round so it's not so unusual
01:44Who are these people? I've never seen them
01:46Well, there was a bin man on the local news and he does his round every morning and then he has Christmas lunch every day
01:52That's right there you are
01:53Well, that's because bin men get tipped at Christmas he's got a vested interest in pretending to be good
01:57I've got a friend who puts all his decorations up in October actually his name is John Lewis
02:05When does yours go up Lee?
02:07Erm, should I do the joke or not bother it's Christmas?
02:10Does anyone hate Christmas?
02:14No, no, some people do
02:16Do you hate Christmas?
02:17Yeah, I hate Christmas
02:18How?
02:19I hate the shows, you know, they just they do a sort of show and they
02:23And they just like put some like snow and this is a Christmas episode and they record it in June
02:29And we all have to pretend
02:31I mean no, no, not us, we're doing it now in December
02:37So
02:40When do you get your tree up?
02:42Early December
02:43And are we talking Norwegian spruce or plastic or what?
02:48We're talking a live, not live, a formerly live tree that's been killed
02:53I mean that's not how they market them but it's what's happened
02:57Who decorates it, you or Victoria?
02:59Do you know what, we share the task
03:01As a family?
03:02Yes
03:03But you're in charge
03:04No
03:06What are we thinking about Swazi's claim?
03:09Helen, what do you reckon?
03:10I think it could be true because I think she looks like a person that really enjoys Christmas
03:17All right, okay, David, do you think Swazi's telling the truth?
03:20No, I do not
03:21The strange thing about being married and we might as well get the Christmas tree now
03:27Yeah
03:28I mean he would instantly leave someone
03:30If they said something like that
03:33What does he think of it?
03:35He loves it, he absolutely loves it
03:37He's the green fingered one out of us lot
03:39It's plastic
03:40It's plastic
03:42Also, when you get married you've got to look to the future
03:45Yeah
03:46You've got to start planning
03:47Okay, it's September now but Christmas is coming up
03:49Yeah
03:50When we got married, we bought our graves
03:53The next day
03:55Nice
03:56Nice plot
03:57And I tell you what, that we got a good deal on
04:01All right, Lee, what's your team going to say?
04:05I think not true, I think a lie, what do you think?
04:08A lie
04:09You think it's a lie, you think it's a lie
04:10100%
04:11I'll go with my team and say it's a lie
04:12Okay, they all think it's a lie Swazi, was it or were you telling the truth?
04:16I was, of course, telling a lie
04:19Yes
04:24Yes, it's a lie, Swazi doesn't put her Christmas decorations up in September
04:29Next up, it's David
04:32As a boy, I developed a special technique for getting through disgusting school dinners
04:39Right, what was your special technique?
04:42Were you ever forced to eat your school dinners?
04:45I was, yes
04:46By who?
04:47By the authorities, the school
04:48The dinners
04:49We'll ask the questions
04:50Oh, yeah, yes, you're right
04:52We'll ask the questions!
04:56So, yes, the technique was very simple
04:58I had this dinner lady who wasn't very nice
05:01And she would make us eat all the things we didn't want to eat
05:05Like fruit and vegetables
05:07And so my technique was that I would store the food in my cheeks
05:12So I didn't have to swallow it
05:15And then I would keep it in my mouth for the rest of the school day
05:18Like a hamster
05:20What sort of age were you when this was happening?
05:22Was it over five or...?
05:23No, 17, 18
05:24I was at a junior school, primary school
05:29So I was probably about five or six or something like that
05:32What were your school dinners like, David?
05:34My primary school, you had to have some of everything
05:38Yeah, yeah
05:39And you had to finish it
05:40Yeah, yeah
05:41And my technique for dealing with that
05:43When things were, as they occasionally were, absolutely disgusting
05:47Is that I used to be sick all over myself
05:51Merry Christmas, everybody at home
05:55Was it a cry for help?
05:56Um, yeah, and I also would cry help
05:59We had a boy at my school who, I was so jealous
06:03Because he had a letter from his mum
06:06Saying that he was allergic to all vegetables apart from chips
06:12Only my mum would write that letter
06:15When I was presented with disgusting school food
06:18The problem for me was putting it in my mouth
06:21That's always been your problem
06:23Because of the horrible
06:24Sorry, sorry, sorry
06:26Sorry, sorry, sorry
06:28In a way, when you've put the disgusting food in your mouth
06:31You've already done the worst bit, haven't you?
06:33The swallowing it
06:34That's a very good point
06:35Is, is comparatively you might as well
06:37I agree
06:38You know, and, and let people, let people put their own connotations on
06:43Tell him off
06:45Tell him off
06:46No, because it was you that got the laugh
06:48By doing one of your, one of your sideways looks at the audience
06:52I will not criticise my David
06:54How is he your David?
06:56How is he your David?
06:58Because things have changed
06:59You know, you knew me first
07:01I've spent a long time with him
07:03I've grown very fond of you
07:05Thank you
07:06Thank you all
07:07It's lovely that these things
07:08It's important to say these things at Christmas
07:10While you're still alive
07:11Yes, exactly
07:12And before we have a few more drinks and get angry
07:15So what, what are you thinking Swazi?
07:17What, what do you reckon on this?
07:19I think it's a lie, come on
07:20Why?
07:21Why?
07:22Because how can you go after lunch and not talk to the end of the day?
07:24I completely agree with you
07:25It's a lie lie lie and that's what it is
07:27We're going to say lie
07:29They think it's a lie David
07:30Was it a lie or were you telling the truth?
07:33I was telling the truth
07:35Oh
07:36Oh
07:37Oh
07:38Yes
07:39True
07:40David did store school dinners in his cheeks
07:46Helen, you're next
07:47When I was on Strictly, I sprained my arm because of all the endless waving they made me do
07:53David, you sprained your arm, that was your main injury
07:58Did you show us how you wave?
08:00Oh that's quite legal
08:02It used to be better
08:04A little restrained, that won't be good enough for Strictly, you need more enthusiasm
08:07Well it was bigger when I did Strictly before the sprain
08:10Was waving a big part of your Strictly commitment?
08:13Have you watched Strictly? There's a lot of waving
08:15Oh I suppose there is
08:16There's as much waving as there is dancing
08:18So how long did the recovery take?
08:21A few days, it was in a sling
08:24Was your first instinct to call a doctor or a lawyer?
08:28Or a midwife
08:29Or a midwife
08:30Yes
08:31What did the doctor or the lawyer say to you?
08:34The doctor signed me off a show
08:37Because you twanged your arm waving
08:39But how do you wave? I just wave like this
08:41I wave like that
08:42Ah!
08:43Oh God!
08:44But is our lawyer somewhere here?
08:46Yeah
08:47So how often on a typical episode of Strictly
08:50From the moment they announce you
08:52Would you be waving?
08:53Talk us through it
08:54Well so you come out waving
08:55You come out waving?
08:56That's how I came out
08:57Woohoo!
08:58So you come out at the top of the stairs don't you?
09:03Come out waving, yes
09:04You're waving when you arrive
09:05Which is quite a skill
09:06As hard as the dancing
09:07When you're walking down the stairs
09:08Not falling over and waving
09:10Right
09:11You've never had a proper job have you?
09:12And then we sort of chat a bit
09:15Yes
09:16And then we do some more waving
09:17Another wave there
09:18Yeah
09:19So you do your dance
09:20And then you go up the stairs waving
09:22Another wave
09:23This is the TV show you're talking about
09:25So you do the TV show
09:26And then you do the arena tour
09:28And that's got lots of waving in
09:31Because it's a very big arena
09:33And you're increasing your waves
09:35Was there an insurance claim at any point?
09:37No there wasn't
09:38But there could be
09:39So you didn't think to wave with your other arm
09:41That's a good idea
09:43To just like balance it
09:44Yeah
09:45Jules what are you thinking?
09:46Well
09:47Specifically about what Helen has been saying
09:49Well first of all I'd have great sympathy
09:53You know
09:54I need my hands and I would
09:55With an injury like that you would be
09:57Have you ever had a piano injury?
09:58Well you've got to watch out for that
10:00Sort of thing
10:01I don't
10:02Because I don't play the piano
10:04Lang Lang wears boxing gloves doesn't he
10:06The concert pianist
10:07Some of them do
10:08Boxing gloves?
10:09Yeah to protect
10:10Protect his hands
10:11Oh not whilst playing?
10:12No
10:13It's not that good
10:14Oh right
10:15I'd rather believe it
10:18I can see the distress in poor Helen's face
10:21Yes
10:22Yes she does
10:23She's I mean
10:24Yes that's certainly
10:25That's certainly a look of sadness
10:26That would be perceptible at arena levels
10:29So what are your team saying David?
10:33Let's go true
10:34Shall we say true?
10:35I'd like to give her a chance
10:36Let's
10:37Aww
10:38Let's say
10:39I don't think that's the idea of the game
10:41Let's say
10:42It's Christmas we should believe everything
10:44All right
10:45Yeah
10:46They think it's true Helen
10:47Was it true or was it
10:48A lie?
10:49It was true
10:50No
10:51Yes it's true Helen did sprain her arm waving on Strictly
10:57Our next round is called This Is My
11:00Where we bring on a mystery guest who has a close connection to one of our panelists
11:05Now this week each of David's team will claim it's them that has the genuine connection to the guest
11:10It's up to Lee's team to spot who's telling the truth
11:13So please welcome this week's special guest Paul
11:20So Swazi what is Paul to you?
11:25This is Paul and he won a competition for me and Stormzy to come round and turn on his Christmas lights
11:31Right
11:33Jules how do you know Paul?
11:36Well this is Paul and he lets me wind up Big Ben
11:40Right
11:41Finally David what is your relationship with Paul?
11:45This is Paul and he had to get his dust buster out after I spilt peanuts in Inspector Morse's car
11:54There we have it
11:56Swazi's prize-winning pal Jules' clock companion or David's car cleaner? Lee's team where will you begin?
12:04Swazi what was this competition on was it on Radio One Extra?
12:09It was on Radio One Extra
12:11He doesn't scream Radio One Extra listener
12:15This is the thing you'd be so surprised who listens to radio
12:18What was the competition?
12:19The competition was to guess Stormzy's first name and Paul guessed it and he was right
12:24And what is Stormzy's first name?
12:25Michael
12:26Paul knew Stormzy's first name?
12:28Yeah
12:29I was equally surprised obviously you can't see your listeners so when we turned up and we saw Paul he was like
12:34Oh
12:35Hi Paul
12:37Paul did you do me and Stormzy were there so we had to turn on his
12:42Just to be clear when you say turn on his Christmas lights you don't mean in his area you mean in his house
12:46Where was his house?
12:47In Croydon
12:48Which was even funnier because Stormzy's from South London
12:51I bet you laughed and laughed and laughed
12:54So did you and Stormzy turn up together with an entourage or just the two?
12:58Just me Stormzy the social team and my producer
13:02When you say the social team you don't mean social services
13:05No
13:06Definitely not no the social media team
13:10Oh of course Instagram yes
13:12Instagram, TikTok
13:13Sorry it's bring your granddad to work down
13:17What were Paul's Christmas lights like?
13:20Awful
13:21Paul your lights were so bad
13:23He had the smallest little Christmas tree
13:26You know when you put on a table it's not like in the corner of a room
13:29Right
13:30So yeah tall old Stormzy
13:31And you just had to flick one little switch and bing they came on
13:33Yeah and then he came on
13:34Yeah
13:35And then how did you pad out the rest of the visit?
13:37Well Stormzy's obviously very tall and I'm very small so I think Paul standing in the middle made everyone laugh so we just took a photo
13:44You standing in height order can only pad out about another minute
13:49I've met Stormzy
13:50Have you?
13:51He's very very nice yes
13:52He is nice
13:53What circumstances?
13:54Not many I was with Jack Whitehall and we were at a showbiz party and Stormzy was there
13:59And he was quite excited to meet us and we couldn't quite believe it
14:02No, neither can I
14:03No
14:04It's true
14:06I'll tell you something I've just spotted about Paul
14:08We say he's not looking like a radio on extra listener but he does have an earring
14:14An earring
14:15What are you saying?
14:16That he's younger?
14:17I'm saying he's a little bit ooh
14:18Are you saying he's a ghost?
14:21No no he's a bit he's like me he's an older gentleman but he's down
14:28He's had a fall?
14:30Yes
14:31What is your time slot on radio on extra?
14:35I'm on Saturday mornings from 7 to 10 a.m.
14:38So he's getting up early to listen to you as well
14:40Loads of people are up early you know
14:42Well the nurse they wake up people quite early don't they?
14:46I would like to say Swazi so far you're winning
14:53Alright who would you like to quiz next?
14:56Jules and now you're not Swazi
14:59Jules remind us again
15:02Yeah so Paul lets me go and wind up Big Ben
15:06Right who's Ben and why do you keep winding him up?
15:09Big Ben is of course the great tower with the you know when it sees the 10 o'clock news bing bong
15:15Also not only that he let me go up there wind it up and open the little sort of number where it's at
15:21Like at the bottom of the clock number six and put me head out of the window
15:24Oh like a cuckoo?
15:25Wave at London
15:26What on the hour every hour?
15:28Not at six o'clock because the hand would have been in the way
15:31That's a very good bit of detail
15:34So did you win this sort of opportunity?
15:37No I was introduced by Stephen Fry who said you're going to really like Paul because he'll take you up Big Ben and let you wind it up
15:45So just talk us through how you wind up Big Ben again?
15:48Well a lot of people imagine it's a little key like that that they'd be wrong
15:52No they don't
15:54I don't think anyone's thought about it in any way
15:57And Helen's probably worried another hand injury
15:59Well I wouldn't be able to do it
16:01Well you have to walk up there as well
16:03This was when he was up there
16:04They haven't got an elevator fitted
16:05Steps
16:06I think they have now
16:07Oh so this was a while ago when you did it
16:08Yeah, yeah
16:09Before the renovation
16:10Yes
16:11It's a digital clock now
16:12Yeah
16:13Anyway you go up and you have a big handle like this
16:16Yeah
16:17And then you push it forward and it goes round like this
16:21And then this gigantic pendulum is ticking away like a giant long case grandfather clock
16:27How big is that?
16:28I don't want to bore you with the details
16:30Oh please do
16:31We already have
16:32But it's pretty big
16:34Do you have to then swing the pendulum?
16:36Paul I think did all that
16:37When London sleeps he's in there sorting all that out
16:40We just wake up and see it but it's a bloke like him
16:43Well we don't wake up and see it because we don't live anywhere near it
16:45No but you can see it on the news and things don't you?
16:48Well what are you doing waking up at 10 o'clock at night?
16:50You start getting a proper job mate
16:52Do you know a bit about clocks?
16:55It sounds like you know a bit about clocks
16:56I've learnt everything I know from Paul
16:58Right so here's a question
16:59What's it called that clock?
17:01Er, very big
17:03It's not called very big is it? What's it actually called?
17:06That's right, yes, yes
17:08What does Big Ben refer to?
17:13The bell
17:15The bell
17:16It's the bell
17:17The clock is called something else
17:18Yes, that's right
17:19I thought you would know that as someone who winds it up
17:22What is the clock called?
17:23Does it definitely have a name, the clock?
17:25Well I think it's just called the parliament clock or something
17:28I don't know
17:29It's called something
17:30You don't know after all that?
17:31Oh I don't know
17:32I'm glad to point out that I'm not the one claiming to know about clocks
17:35No
17:36I'm not claiming to know about clocks but I do know a man who does know about clocks and that's
17:40Paul
17:41Yes, right
17:43Alright now then, what about David? David remind us of your relationship
17:49This is Paul and he had to get his dust buster out after I spilled peanuts inside Inspector Morse's car
17:57Right
17:58Why were you in his car?
17:59I was on a little tour of Oxford in it
18:02What's the car?
18:03An old red Jaguar, I think it's called a Mark II Jaguar
18:07I think that's what Morse did drive
18:09We actually have, we got a picture of Inspector Morse's car, we can have a look, there we are, look at that
18:14You could fit in that car?
18:15Yes
18:16Wow
18:17And Paul and my father
18:19So hang on, is Paul the organiser of the tour?
18:22He is and he is the owner of Inspector Morse's car
18:25Oh, so he was driving the car?
18:27He was
18:28How did Paul come to own this car?
18:30I don't actually know
18:31So he's a private
18:32Once again, no small talk from David on the journey
18:34Yeah
18:35Do you want to know how I got this car?
18:37Nah
18:40How could you not get the peanuts into your mouth?
18:43Yeah
18:44Well, the truth is, the peanuts were in my...
18:46The truth is, it didn't happen
18:48The truth is, no, the truth is that the peanuts were in my jacket pocket
18:53In a packet I had opened but not finished, folded over
18:57There's no way you wouldn't finish a packet of peanuts in one go
19:00Well, in which case, you'll have to say lie
19:03Who is that?
19:04Because that is what I'm asking you to believe
19:06When was this?
19:07This was last January
19:10Last January
19:11It was a Christmas present, this tour
19:13From?
19:14From my wife to me and my dad
19:16Didn't Victoria want to join you?
19:18No, she didn't
19:19Anyway, it was a present for her, wasn't it?
19:22It was a tour of Inspector Morse's Oxford
19:26Because you love Inspector Morse
19:28I love Inspector Morse
19:29You love Inspector Morse
19:30I grew up in Oxford, my dad lives in Oxford
19:33He's really interested in Oxford history, he's a tour guide
19:36Yeah?
19:37This is an amazing present
19:38Where did the tour take you, David?
19:40Talk us through some of the high spots
19:42All around Oxford
19:43Be more specific, David
19:45Right
19:46Started and finished in the car park of the ice rink
19:48Oh, right
19:49Oh
19:50How very Inspector Morse
19:52Well, it was probably more for convenience than mood
19:55Although it is quite near the police station
19:57Right
19:58Which obviously you see a lot of Inspector Morse coming in and out of the police station
20:01And it's a real police station
20:02So I don't know how that was arranged
20:03But obviously actual law enforcement in Oxford must have suffered at the same time
20:07I certainly remember during my childhood the joyriding was going crazy
20:11So I think we can blame Zenith Productions for some of that
20:15Zenith, you know the name of the production company
20:18Yes, I think it was Inspector Morse
20:20Zenith made Inspector Morse
20:21It went initially through Central
20:22But then obviously it all merged under Granada
20:24Now rebranded as ITV
20:26I hope it's okay to mention that on the BBC
20:29Other broadcasters are available
20:30I can't wait if they have to clap because they're impressed
20:35Or if they clap, you'll stop
20:37Well, I've tried that with you many times and it doesn't work
20:41Anyway, pick up at the ice rink
20:44Yeah
20:45You go along St Alldates
20:46No, it sounds like you're going to do it all
20:47Just tell us the highlights
20:48So you went along St Alldates, past the police station, past Christchurch
20:51No, this is the whole journey, David, isn't it?
20:53Well, you can't, you've got to wait for me to...
20:55Don't say we're not going to show you the highlights of football
20:57But you're going to have to wait
20:59Because we're going to be showing the whole match
21:00That's a highlight!
21:02That's another highlight!
21:04They just show the highlights
21:05That's what they do
21:06Can I just say?
21:07What are the highlights of this tour?
21:09Because currently I've heard nothing but lowlights
21:11This is a tour
21:13This isn't getting to the tour
21:15Tell us the highlights of the tour
21:17These are the highlights of the tour
21:19The highlights of the tour
21:21Involved driving down the high street
21:23Oh, he's doing it again!
21:25He's doing it as the lowlights again
21:26How can you...
21:27The high street of Oxford
21:29That's not a highlight
21:30In Inspector Morse's car
21:31I can wait...
21:32The highlight was a bit where we crossed Times Square
21:35The highlight was a bit where it took off
21:38And flew to the moon
21:39No, the highlights were when we were driving round Oxford
21:43In Inspector Morse's car
21:45Because that's what it was
21:47And the high street of Oxford
21:49Was a highlight!
21:50APPLAUSE
21:51Next highlight, Riverside pub
22:00Right at Victoria Arms
22:02It's called
22:03It's by the Charwell in Oxford
22:04What's that?
22:05Inspector Morse went there many times
22:07That is where I bought some
22:09Wait for it...
22:10Peanuts
22:11You said
22:12You said they were in your pocket already
22:14Oh!
22:15No, no!
22:16You're a liar
22:17Dirty liar
22:19And it's Christmas
22:20I did have the peanuts in my jacket
22:22And how do you think they got there?
22:24I bought them at the Victoria Arms
22:27But I folded up the packet
22:29And put it in my jacket pocket
22:31Folded up the jacket
22:32And put it on my knee
22:33We continued the tour
22:34I won't bore you with more highlights
22:36When we got to the end of the tour
22:39I adjusted my jacket in a careless way
22:42And the peanuts tipped onto the floor of the car
22:45Inspector Morse's Jaguar
22:47Can you imagine my mortification?
22:50So I apologise effusively
22:52And Paul says not to worry
22:54And he gets a dust buster
22:56From?
22:57From the boot of the car
22:58Where do you get the dust buster from?
22:59From the boot of the car
23:00LAUGHTER
23:01And he clears them up in front of me
23:06No harm done
23:07LAUGHTER
23:08Right, we need an answer
23:11So Lee's team
23:12Is Paul
23:13Swazi's prize-winning pal
23:15Jules's clock companion
23:17Or David's car cleaner?
23:19Jules strikes me as a man
23:20That would be interested
23:21Yes
23:22Who wouldn't though?
23:23I'd like to do that
23:24I think he would
23:25Because he's got those sort of interests
23:27Sort of old man's interests
23:29LAUGHTER
23:30Why would you
23:31If you're running a tour
23:33With all of the
23:34You know, best parts of Oxford
23:36Yeah
23:37That Inspector Morse filmed in
23:38Why not ask to meet
23:39At the beautiful pub
23:40Where you could have a drink
23:41First of all
23:42And welcome your guests
23:43Why would you meet at the ice rink?
23:44There would definitely be
23:45More picturesque places to meet
23:46But not where there's easy parking
23:48The picturesque
23:50And the easy parking
23:51They often pull in different directions
23:53Right
23:54I give an example
23:55Venice
24:00OK, it's time to guess
24:02I don't believe that Stormzy went round
24:04To turn on this man's Christmas lights
24:06On a Christmas tree that big
24:08That's the thing, isn't it?
24:09So...
24:10I'm going Jules
24:11Alan?
24:12I would go with Morse
24:13Because it just sounds like
24:14The most plausible
24:16Boring Christmas present
24:18LAUGHTER
24:19OK
24:20We are going to go with
24:22Jules
24:23Jules
24:24OK
24:25Paul
24:26Would you please reveal
24:27Your true identity?
24:29I'm Paul
24:30And I let Jules Holland
24:31Wind up Big Bang
24:32Yeah
24:37Yes, Paul is Jules' top companion
24:39Thank you very much, Paul
24:45Which brings us to our final round
24:46Quickfire Lives
24:48And we start with
24:49It's
24:50BUZZ
24:51Jules
24:52Ah
24:53Every year before Christmas dinner
24:56I change into my special, much looser, eating trousers
25:00LAUGHTER
25:01Please, team
25:03Well, I mean, I do, so...
25:05LAUGHTER
25:06Are they elasticated?
25:08Erm, no, they have little belts at the side
25:12And braces attached to buttons
25:15And the little belts at the side undo
25:18So you can loosen them
25:19So you can loosen them
25:20So you can loosen them, yeah
25:21They're braces and the side straps
25:22Yeah
25:23So they're quite smart trousers
25:24Oh, yes, I wouldn't want to be seen in short trousers
25:27When I'm having my Christmas dinner
25:28And you wouldn't want to be seen with shorts and braces
25:30Never
25:31That's a look that only David Mitchell can carry on
25:33Yes
25:34LAUGHTER
25:35What do you have on the top half?
25:37Dinner jacket
25:38Have you got a Dickie bow on?
25:39Yes
25:40Are you...? All right
25:42LAUGHTER
25:43What do you wear at Christmas lunch then, Leeds?
25:46Same as the rest of the family, Speedos
25:48LAUGHTER
25:49So...
25:50Dinner jacket, Dickie bow and all that
25:52That suggests you would have those sort of fancy trousers
25:55With the little belts at the side already
25:57So why are you changing into them?
25:59Well, because I would have had my jeans on
26:01When I was doing the rough work of helping the children
26:03To unwrap their little boxes of cigars and things like that
26:06Right
26:07So I've still got my casuals on at that point
26:10And I've taken a break from helping the kiddies
26:12And then I've just come in and having my lunch
26:14How old are your kids?
26:15Erm, 40, 50
26:17LAUGHTER
26:18This is a subject close to your heart, Lee
26:21Because I remember you telling me
26:23That of late you've started to drive
26:26Yes
26:27With your trousers open
26:28I have undone the top button
26:30And I've found that's not enough
26:31So a bit of zip comes down
26:33The belt might come undone
26:34And many a time I've got to the petrol station
26:36And my trousers have fallen down
26:38LAUGHTER
26:39And that's my story
26:40And I don't care what you read in the Sunday papers
26:42That's what happened
26:43LAUGHTER
26:45All right, come on
26:46Is Jules Holland telling the truth?
26:48I believe he's telling the truth
26:49OK, I've got a question
26:50Are you insane?
26:51LAUGHTER
26:52You think that that's the truth?
26:53I think it's true
26:55I think probably a lot of people wear clothes that are sort of loose or elasticated
27:00Exactly
27:01Well, I have pregnancy trousers like that
27:03So I do understand
27:04LAUGHTER
27:05What's your team going to say, Lee?
27:07I'm saying it's a lie
27:08OK, so, Jules, they think it's a lie
27:12Is it a lie or is it the truth?
27:14I think this might be a conundrum for the show
27:16Because it was given to me as a lie
27:18But it's actually true
27:19LAUGHTER
27:21So I don't know what to do
27:26That's never happened before
27:27That's never, ever happened before
27:29So, Jules, what is the answer?
27:32Was it true or was it a lie?
27:33A little bit of a lie
27:34LAUGHTER
27:36Well, there we are
27:37It was a lie
27:38Until it turned out to be true
27:40Because Jules actually does have special eating trousers
27:44That noise signals time is up
27:46It's the end of the show
27:47And I can reveal that Lee's team has won
27:50By three points to two
27:51Congratulations, congratulations
27:53APPLAUSE
27:55Thanks for watching
27:56We'll see you next time
27:57Good night
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