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Short filmTranscript
00:00I don't like you anymore.
00:02Do you know what I love you today?
00:04I don't know.
00:05But you're not like James.
00:11You scared me.
00:12I was gonna ask you, will you come to my cottage this summer?
00:16You know we can't do that.
00:26I'm coming to the cottage.
00:30I'm coming to the cottage.
01:00A few weeks ago, I achieved my lifelong dream.
01:09Winning the cup.
01:10For those of you who've done that know how it feels.
01:15I don't even think I have the words to describe it.
01:18But something else happened that night.
01:23Something you may have noticed got a lot more attention than the Admirals were in the cup.
01:29It's been an interesting month.
01:36In case you missed it somehow, I came out as gay in a ridiculously public way.
01:44And I've always been a private person.
01:48I've never really shared anything about my private life.
01:53But from what I've seen over the past few weeks, it's maybe important that I do a bit.
01:58But fans have been sending me messages and a lot of young fans telling me how much it meant to them for me to come out.
02:08And look, I love hockey.
02:14I'm so grateful that I get to do this for a living.
02:16But I also know what it feels like to not fit in.
02:25When I was a teenager, I realized that I may be that thing that hockey players like to throw around as an insult.
02:34And the kind of language that I heard on the ice and in the locker room every day was a constant reminder that I was different.
02:44When you have a secret that you work as hard as I did to protect, it's exhausting.
02:54It's a nonstop effort.
02:56And it's also really, really lonely.
03:00Thankfully, I found the person who changes everything.
03:09And he gave me the confidence and strength and the need to be honest about who I am.
03:19Fear is a powerful thing.
03:23But then I found the one thing that is more powerful.
03:27So I share this honor with my teammates and my coaches.
03:33But I also share it with you, Kev.
03:37You have made me better in every conceivable way.
03:43I love you.
03:57Is this a jeep?
04:19No, it's British.
04:21Practical.
04:22Good in the snow.
04:25Okay.
04:26Cheers.
04:37Cheers.
04:44Cheers.
04:53Cheers.
04:54Cheers.
04:55Are you hungry?
05:01It's about a two-hour drive, but we can stop for something if you want.
05:04No, I'm okay.
05:09I think you're going to like the cottage.
05:11It's relaxing.
05:14Is that what we're going to do?
05:16Relax.
05:18I hope so.
05:21I would like to relax with you.
05:23For once.
05:29I bought groceries, so we don't need to leave or not leave much if we don't want to.
05:37Thank you for inviting me.
05:44I'm glad you're here.
05:46Me too, but also like terrified, yes.
05:53Did anyone recognize you at the airport or anything?
06:06No, no, not that I noticed.
06:09Cool.
06:12The cottage is super private, so we don't need to worry about anything.
06:15Not even your parents?
06:18No.
06:19I told them I was on a silent retreat, like a meditation.
06:23What?
06:24Does that sound fake?
06:25I'm sorry.
06:28It was if it was anyone but you.
06:30I can carry my own bag.
06:51Oh, your ribs.
06:53Fine, I can take my bag.
06:54I can't believe you played with those bruised ribs.
06:58Whoa, you can't.
07:01Okay, maybe I can.
07:02Wow.
07:15Wow.
07:17You really said it's really paid off, huh?
07:22I didn't buy this.
07:24I had it built.
07:26Oh, I know.
07:27I can give you a tour, if you'd like, or I could make us some lunch.
07:38There's plenty of food.
07:40Also, I bought you Cokes, though the water here is really good.
07:45I have my own well.
07:47You can see it in case you're thirsty.
07:51Okay.
08:18Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
08:21Wait, um, it's been a while, so I might not last time.
08:39We sing, but we have two weeks, so.
08:41Yeah, who?
08:43Wait, um, sing?
08:46Hmm.
08:46You said same.
08:49You haven't been with anyone lately?
08:52No.
08:54Not since.
08:56No, not since, so can we.
08:58Really?
09:00Really?
09:01Hollander, it's not a big deal, okay?
09:04Yeah, but it's been.
09:06Months, yes, I know, so can we fuck now, please?
09:11I haven't either.
09:13Not since the last time.
09:14I have an idea.
09:34What?
09:34Well, for the next two weeks, let's just be honest with each other about what we actually
09:43think and maybe how we really feel.
09:51I will try.
09:53Really?
09:54Yes.
09:54I will do anything if it will make you touch my decline when I move.
10:00Should I show you to your room?
10:04There's two guest rooms downstairs, so if I need to choose from.
10:07I will need a king-size bed.
10:09They all have a king-size bed.
10:11And the view.
10:12They all have a view.
10:14Yeah.
10:14And they will need the, what do you call, an en-suite bedroom.
10:19Well, that might be a problem.
10:21Oh, where is that?
10:22There's only one with an en-suite.
10:24Yeah, it's fine.
10:27This is awkward.
10:37This room isn't available to the guests.
10:40Disappointing.
10:41I'm sorry, sir.
10:42We'd really like to accommodate you, but...
10:45Sir, I'm just a bellboy.
10:47You can't treat the staff like this, please.
10:49I think I know how the staff likes to be treated after a few years.
10:59Wait.
11:00Wait, wait, wait.
11:01What's the mic?
11:11I don't know.
11:12I don't know.
11:23I don't know.
11:24I don't know.
11:24I don't know.
11:25I don't know.
11:25I don't know.
11:26I don't know.
11:26I don't know.
11:27I don't know.
11:27I don't know.
11:28I don't know.
11:28I don't know.
11:29I don't know.
11:29I don't know.
11:30I don't know.
11:30I don't know.
11:31I don't know.
11:31I don't know.
11:32I don't know.
11:32I don't know.
11:33I don't know.
11:33I don't know.
11:34I don't know.
11:34I don't know.
11:35I don't know.
11:35I don't know.
11:36I don't know.
11:36I don't know.
11:37I don't know.
11:37I don't know.
11:38I don't know.
11:39why are you making so many burgers the recipe was for eight so okay you cut it in half
12:01what you can't do math leave me alone
12:05okay fine i should have cut it in half
12:20ordinarily i'll just give the rest of my parents but i'll probably ruin my whole silent retreat lie
12:27i guess you know and david yes and
12:35and what tell me about them what do you want to know
12:43i don't know i don't know anything i know your mother is japanese or something
12:51probably where you get your looks half of them yeah and your dad is what boring
12:59is that where you get your boring from he's not boring
13:02so he's exciting reading the new yorker he's normal okay he works for the treasury board of canada
13:11crazy fuck you he played hockey for mcgill whoa mcgill what the fuck is mcgill is mcgill at that
13:20it's a really good school my parents are great
13:24do they know
13:26about you of course not no about you
13:32no would they not be good about it
13:37i don't know i mean no they'd be fine i'm sure they would be
13:46i don't know we haven't talked about it
13:50sometimes i think i would have told them already
13:56oh this is my fault
14:07no i mean yeah kind of
14:11well i think you can tell your parents you're gay without giving them a list of all the guys you're
14:21fucking i know i know anyways it just doesn't really matter you're done
14:28nice right
14:43so we just sit here and look at it
14:47canada is fun
14:54shut up
14:55it was just rose
15:03just rose
15:06she's just checking in
15:08you're not jealous are you
15:13no
15:13ilya i'm gay
15:16you're not so gay you can't fuck rose landry
15:19oh my god
15:20it was like twice
15:22and both times were complete disasters
15:24i'm not sure she's looking for a repeat performance
15:27oh disaster is like hell
15:28i'm not going into details
15:30what the fuck was that
15:34a loon
15:35a what
15:38a loon
15:39it's a bird
15:40sounds like a fucking wolf
15:41it's a bird
15:42trust me
15:43you're so scared
15:45what kind of a bird makes a noise like that
15:48a loon
15:48a fucking wolf
15:50stupid canadian wolf bird
15:53oh so now you speak bird too
16:02fluent
16:04i hate you
16:06no you don't
16:08have you talked to your brother lately
16:19is that a good thing
16:25probably i don't know
16:30i'm sorry about your family
16:35even if they suck
16:37you must miss them
16:38my mother didn't suck
16:42she was great
16:44how did she die
16:49by accident
16:53she accidentally swallowed
16:57the whole bottle of pills
16:59how old are you
17:03twelve
17:08i found her
17:12i don't want you to think she was weak
17:22i don't
17:25she wasn't
17:27she was so funny
17:30and beautiful
17:31she was so sad
17:36and my dad was so hard on her
17:41and
17:42motherfucker
17:45do you want to go inside
17:58no
18:02good morning
18:23good morning
18:25i like you
18:29i like you too
18:33you can't pick montreal
18:53yes i can
18:54i've always wondered what it would be like to be a metro
18:57you know historically they're the best team in sport
18:59better than the fucking yankees
19:01oh i know so
19:02well i'm gonna be boston
19:03good choice
19:04i'm gonna fucking kill you
19:06i am you
19:08well you're not anything
19:10i want to cover the fucking game
19:13oh fuck this faded
19:18he just had a baby i haven't talked to him in weeks
19:21hey buddy
19:26yeah uh
19:28yeah how's um
19:29i know i'm so sorry
19:30but how's amber right
19:32how is she
19:33oh yeah the pics are cute
19:38oh good
19:40good and then uh jackie's good too
19:41is it
19:44better than um
19:45yeah
19:47yeah no i i remember that that was a tough time
19:50uh
19:52sorry hey just um
19:54my mom's under the line just i'm just get rid of her
19:56okay
19:56what are you doing
19:59i think you know
20:00please stop
20:02i don't think it's what you want
20:05later okay
20:07okay i make you a deal
20:10i won't touch you but if you get hard
20:13i won't get hard
20:13okay so no problem then
20:15ilia
20:17sheen
20:19sorry man yeah my mom is so annoying sometimes
20:26uh sorry you were saying
20:28oh right yeah yeah
20:31mark and that's her middle brother
20:33brother-in-law
20:36right
20:37but he's the one
20:39got it right yeah from thanksgiving
20:42yeah yeah he's he's great
20:50uh
20:51well that's nice he could come and stay
20:55cool cool yeah yeah that that makes sense
21:03i know nothing much here that the headaches are better
21:09fuck
21:10uh no sorry just just a text
21:13totally
21:15yeah totally totally clear so
21:18all's well there
21:20jeez
21:22sorry hey one one second
21:24oh
21:26oh
21:27sorry man i just have to run someone's at the door
21:47no it's just it's just just amazon but um i'll call you next week and
21:54yeah yeah yeah so totally and um
21:59all right yes love you man and uh get my best to jackie and the kids
22:03fuck you
22:07fuck you
22:09why was that so hot
22:11because you like to be bad
22:13hey that's not what this is
22:21you and me
22:23maybe it was at first but
22:26not now and not for a long time
22:30so you love hayden
22:35so i was thinking i'm uh i'm free agent next season
22:46yeah
22:48you wouldn't resign with boston
22:51then where
22:58i don't know i was thinking maybe canadian team
23:02not montreal eh no i mean i know but i would love to not have russian passport
23:12i could marry svetlana
23:31she's american would be easy citizenship
23:36she would do it
23:38her uh father is goalie sergey vitrov
23:43yeah you've told me
23:44she would help me
23:46but
23:51is she i don't know someone you want to marry
23:54we were friends we would be fine
23:57and it would be for the passport
24:01okay
24:05but
24:06but what
24:08but you like women
24:12right
24:13you could find someone you
24:16want to marry for real
24:19and still get the passport
24:21maybe but
24:25but what
24:27i have this problem
24:30what's the problem
24:33i like women yes
24:39yeah i know
24:40and everywhere i go i'm surrounded by beautiful women
24:43and they love me
24:45sounds rough
24:47yes it is
24:48listen
24:49and these women they're so
24:52sexy
24:53and fun
24:54but i am always thinking
24:58about
24:59this
25:00slow
25:01fucking hockey player
25:02with beautiful freckles
25:03and a weak backhand
25:08a weak backhand
25:09yes
25:09very weak
25:10and he's so boring
25:12and he drives this terrible car
25:14it's a normal car
25:15i am always wishing that these women were him
25:18it's a terrible problem
25:23huh
25:23do you want that problem to go away
25:31i don't ever want that problem to ever go away
25:39don't marry for lana
25:47just don't
25:50i know it wouldn't be for love or whatever
25:54just don't
25:57we can figure something else out okay
26:02okay
26:05it's impossible aku
26:09i don't Shawshank
26:09anymore
26:10i don't want it to比
26:23my head
26:23because the
26:32i have another idea what idea what is happening
26:40what if you played in ottawa
26:45i'll do it same division as boston we're still rivals
26:49okay but listen first off super close by second ottawa needs a star center and they're nowhere
26:56near their cap so they could definitely afford you and maybe we could start to change the
27:00narrative a bit what i just woke up what is no right to boston and montreal that that's intense
27:08everyone knows that but montreal and ottawa and look lots of guys have friends on other teams
27:14they're not rookies anymore they're younger guys coming in frothing at the mouth let them hate each
27:20other we don't need to keep this up until we retire do we we're not we're not fucking wrestlers
27:24okay it's very late and this is so many words what are you getting up
27:30you play for ottawa i play for montreal
27:34okay we're only two hours apart and we start a charity something that you know we both care about
27:43and we come up with a story like i i approached you
27:46more i approached you fine sure and we tell the press and everyone that by working on this cause that
27:52we both love that we developed a mutual respect for one another and um yeah
27:58and if we like sucking each other's dicks any questions
28:04fuck off this is a good idea rosanov
28:06okay okay okay it's not bad so we start the charity yeah and it wouldn't be bullshit either like
28:16we can really start a charity something cool that that means a lot to both of us
28:20and you know we still play hard against each other on the ice shut up
28:27and then if people saw us out in public or whatever it wouldn't be so fucking crazy
28:35and we're only two hours apart all year round
28:40we'll apply for like citizenship here in canada
28:45and maybe one day when we both retire
28:50we could be together for real
28:55you really think that's what our head told in there
29:02i do
29:06about this
29:09and is that what you want
29:14to be together
29:16so much
29:20so much it scares me
29:23i love you
29:41i love you
29:51I love you.
29:55Holy shit.
29:59I mean, I love you, too.
30:08Oh, my God, I love you so much.
30:21Does it, does it fucking kill you, too?
30:29What the number?
30:51Oh, my God.
31:21Oh, my God.
31:51That's very stupid and irresponsible.
31:56This is real, though, right?
32:04Please, fuck me.
32:05Oh, my God.
32:35What was your mother's name?
32:51Irina. Why?
33:00I was thinking we could start a hockey school.
33:05Like a summer camp for kids and give the money away to mental health organizations and suicide prevention.
33:17It was just an idea.
33:19She would have loved you.
33:30Like I love you.
33:31Say it again in Russian, please.
33:39I love you.
33:47Woo!
33:51Is this where you do yoga or up there?
34:12No, I do it inside.
34:14The producer wanted me.
34:16Wait, you saw that?
34:18Yeah, it's very good.
34:20I needed help sleeping, so...
34:21You're an asshole.
34:22How's the water?
34:27You're in it.
34:28Yeah, but I want to know how you like it.
34:32Fuck you.
34:33What if my phone was in my pocket?
34:35Hey, it's not.
34:35You left it on the table.
34:36It's been ringing all morning.
34:37I'm still an asshole.
34:47Give me a kiss.
34:48You're cold.
34:48Do you want pasta from last night or hot dogs?
34:56Hot dogs.
34:57Okay, they're going to have to defrost a bit.
34:59So we have a little time.
35:01Maybe.
35:01What do you have in mind?
35:03Nothing that will take too long.
35:05Oh, fuck.
35:18Maybe you should...
35:18Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:21Do you want me to...
35:21Yeah.
35:35Fuck.
35:50Fuck, this is a fucking nightmare.
35:54Shit.
35:55Oh, fuck.
35:56This is a fucking nightmare.
35:58Oh, what the fuck am I supposed to do?
36:01Well, you should go talk to him.
36:02Yeah, what if you don't want to talk to him?
36:06What if...
36:07Fuck, my mom.
36:09Hey, hey, hey, they will talk to you.
36:11I fucking lied to them.
36:14For so many years, I fucking lied to them,
36:16and now my dad just walks in on me.
36:18This...
36:19This is my fucking nightmare.
36:22This is my actual fucking nightmare, Ilya.
36:24Okay.
36:26Then maybe it's time to wake up, yes?
36:29Fuck.
36:32Fuck, I'm scared.
36:38Yes, it's scary.
36:40But you're brave.
36:42Shut up.
36:43No, you're brave.
36:45Then I feel like I'm gonna die.
36:51So much for eating them into it.
36:52Maybe, maybe he didn't even know this.
37:03Okay.
37:04I'm gonna get changed.
37:07I'm gonna drive over.
37:10And then...
37:11And then, fuck, what am I gonna say?
37:15Do you want me to come with you?
37:19Or do you?
37:20Or do you want me to come with you?
37:21No, of course.
37:22Of course.
37:24Okay.
37:26Okay.
37:27Okay.
37:43That is not gonna help.
37:44Oh, they don't know I play for Boston.
37:48Oh, they don't know I play for Boston.
38:14Oh, they don't know I play for Boston.
38:15Now they're bored to run.
38:21No, maybe you should wait in the car.
38:24Fuck, never mind.
38:25Sorry.
38:40It's me, Shane.
38:42I left my charger at your place,
38:48and it's the old one that fits into my phone,
38:50and all the other chargers we have are newer, so...
38:52It's okay, Dad.
38:54I'm sorry you shouldn't have found out that way.
38:59Found out what, exactly?
39:03I'm gay.
39:05Wish I was gonna tell you soon.
39:08I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.
39:09Yeah, and this is Ilya.
39:14Rosanoff.
39:15But you already know that.
39:17Right.
39:19He's visiting, and we're, um...
39:23Lovers.
39:24No, Ilya, that's gross.
39:27But you hate him.
39:30No.
39:30I mean, I get that, but no, I actually, um...
39:36I love him.
39:41But I don't want this to be honest with you.
39:44Uh, I'm sorry.
39:49Can we just sit down, please?
39:50I think we thought maybe you were gay.
40:01You did.
40:03I think we thought it was a certain thing possible.
40:06We'll try how long.
40:08For a while, I guess.
40:10We both know you pretty well, Shane.
40:13I mean, what we did not suspect
40:14was that you were so friendly with Rosanoff.
40:17Rosanoff.
40:20Ilya.
40:21Ilya, sorry.
40:22I know.
40:23It's a long story.
40:27When did this happen?
40:33Wait.
40:34The All-Star Game.
40:37You two had so much chemistry.
40:39No, it was before that.
40:47Wow.
40:48Wow.
40:50Wow.
40:54So, when?
40:58Since our, uh, rookie season.
41:00Since your rookie season?
41:02No, it's not true.
41:03Since before that.
41:04Not healthy.
41:05Before?
41:05The summer before.
41:06Before.
41:09So, you've been in love since...
41:11No.
41:11Oh, no.
41:11No, no, no, no, no.
41:12No.
41:13No.
41:14No.
41:14Just, um...
41:17Just what?
41:19Um, just...
41:21Just...
41:23Just...
41:24Just...
41:25Ilya.
41:25Oh.
41:26Okay.
41:27Just what?
41:30Lovers.
41:30Okay.
41:31No one is allowed to use that word again.
41:34Well,
41:34I would love a drink.
41:42And there were no nice men in Montreal?
41:45I don't know.
41:46Probably there were.
41:49And do your teammates know?
41:50No.
41:51Nobody knows.
41:54Mmm.
41:54This could welcome.
41:56Thanks.
41:56I tried to buy the Russian stuff.
41:58Mmm.
41:58You never...
42:02I mean, you...
42:02You never let him win, did you, Shane?
42:07Do you let Dad win the cards?
42:08I'd rather die.
42:09Same here.
42:10Hmm.
42:11So is your plan to, what,
42:13just keep doing this in secret
42:16until you both retire, or...?
42:22Probably.
42:22I...
42:23I don't know.
42:25Probably, yes.
42:26No, that's sad.
42:31I know.
42:32We know.
42:34We just can't come out and, like, announce it.
42:46Ilya, I gotta say, I'm surprised.
42:49You have such a reputation as a ladies' man.
42:53He's not untrue.
42:56Ilya likes both.
43:00Oh.
43:02It's true, I've been with many women,
43:04but...
43:05I have only been in love with one person.
43:12Same here.
43:14Only one.
43:14Only one.
43:15Only one.
43:31Just...
43:32Just...
43:33Just...
43:33Just...
43:34Just...
43:39Fuck.
43:45Hey.
43:46Hi.
44:09Mom, um, I need you to know that I did really try.
44:19I tried really hard, but, um, I just can't help it.
44:25I, I'm sorry.
44:28Oh, no, you have nothing, nothing to apologize for.
44:32Look at, look at me.
44:36Look at me.
44:39I'm sorry that I made you feel like you couldn't tell me.
44:59Hey.
45:02I'm so, so proud of you.
45:06I'm okay.
45:12Please forgive me.
45:21I forgive you, Mom.
45:29I love you.
45:32Oh, I love you too.
45:36Oh, so much.
45:44You okay?
45:49Yeah.
45:53All right.
45:55Okay.
45:57Okay.
45:59Okay, okay.
46:01Enough.
46:03All right, what's the plan?
46:05No.
46:11We need a statement prepared in case anything leaks.
46:13Something classy and simple.
46:15Mom.
46:16And I'm going to quietly reach out to the premium brands, or maybe just Reebok and Rolex and Speedo.
46:22They're going to be thrilled, I think, once they wrap their minds around this.
46:24There's a world of opportunity here, if they do it right.
46:27Mom, can we just take three steps back, please?
46:30I'm not going to come out or anything yet.
46:34We just want a future.
46:38I don't know.
46:38You play in Ottawa?
46:44Yes.
46:45Yes.
46:46We would be closer and with the charity.
46:48And you have no loyalty to Boston.
46:50Jesus, Mom.
46:51What?
46:51They drafted him.
46:53You would leave Boston for shame?
46:56Yes.
46:56Mom.
47:00Loyalty's important.
47:01He's trying to be loyal to me, not Boston.
47:03Well.
47:04My mom cares a little too much about hockey.
47:06No, I see where you get it from.
47:08Have you talked to Scott Hunter?
47:10No.
47:10I did.
47:12You did?
47:13Yeah.
47:13Briefly.
47:14After MLH Awards in June.
47:17And?
47:17What did he say?
47:19Nothing.
47:20Well, I didn't tell him about Shane and me.
47:23But what he did, it was...
47:24Yes, he was very brave.
47:27He changed things for me, at least.
47:30Maybe for us.
47:36Shane.
47:39Shane.
47:43Okay, I'm just freaking out.
47:45I'll be okay in a second.
47:46Hey.
47:46Hey, hey, hey.
47:49We're good here.
47:51My family is here.
47:52Your boyfriend is here.
47:56You're good here, okay?
48:01My boyfriend?
48:05I mean, yes.
48:07I think so, probably.
48:17Since rookie season.
48:19Summer before.
48:19I'll bring the chicken and some salad stuff.
48:25Pick up beer in town.
48:26Please text.
48:28Why?
48:28We'll just be there around five.
48:29Please text.
48:30We'll text.
48:31Pay attention to your phones.
48:32Thank you for pasta.
48:34Drive safely.
48:35I love you.
48:35Love you.
48:36I love you.
48:45I said, saddle up.
48:48Cowboy.
48:49I'm waiting for you.
48:51Why don't you give it up?
48:53Don't be another one.
48:55I'll be one of us.
48:57Come on.
48:58Come on.
48:59Come on.
49:00We've got bad things to do.
49:02Baby, take me.
49:06Don't hesitate.
49:08With a girl like me, you better activate.
49:13I'm a tidal wave.
49:15Coming for your brave.
49:17I want to do bad things with you.
49:20Man, you're firework.
49:23Send me out.
49:25I can't say I'm home in the storm.
49:28In your arms, let's start a war.
49:31We've been here before.
49:34Matter of fact, I got you looking back.
49:37So let's go.
49:39I get what I want.
49:43I want what I see.
49:45I want to do the, do the, do the, do the bad things with you
49:56I mean, oh my God, come on
50:01I know you feel it too like summer's on
50:04So hot, you put your record on my panty strap
50:08And I don't want to stop playing your tune
50:12Babe, I know you're not shy
50:14Baby, take me, don't hesitate
50:19With a girl like me, you better activate
50:24I'm a tidal wave, coming for your grave
50:28I want to do bad things with you
50:32Land your fire, one set me out of
50:36Come back and sit alone in a song
50:40In your arms, that's not a war
50:43We've both been here before
50:45Matter of fact, I got you looking back
50:48So let's go
50:50I get what I want
50:52I want what I see
50:57I want to do the, do the, do the, do the, do the bad things with you
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