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00:00This is the box, 16 metres long, 3 metres wide,
00:04with worse toilet facilities than a vegan music festival.
00:07Two teams will spend a day and a night cut off entirely from the outside world.
00:11I snore really loud.
00:17Whilst competing in a series of games designed to test them to their very limits.
00:24You're a disgrace, absolute disgrace.
00:27Win, and they can fill their side of the box with an array of luxury items.
00:31Here comes some stuff.
00:33I'm having pancakes.
00:34A xylophone.
00:35Take away at a train set.
00:38Choo-choo.
00:39And more importantly, they get to move the dividing wall deeper into their opponent's side.
00:44You might want to step back a couple of times now.
00:46The way you two are pushing it makes you look like you're actually enjoying it.
00:49I'm Jimmy Carr. Welcome to Battle in the Box.
00:52We're halfway through the battle between Ellie Taylor and Jess Knappett on the orange team.
01:00We are home.
01:02I mean, it's bigger than some of the flats that I've lived in.
01:05Absolutely.
01:06And Jamie Lang and Nabil Abdul-Rashid on the blue team.
01:10Dude, we're going to be in this together.
01:12It's just you and I.
01:13I'm dreading that.
01:14The girls took an early lead.
01:16Yay!
01:17But the boys overcame their love-hate affair to win the next two games.
01:22Come on!
01:24Pushing the wall deep into enemy territory.
01:27Actually, we prefer it, actually.
01:29The teams have been trapped in the box for nearly 13 hours now,
01:33and Jamie and Nabil's relationship is finally starting to blossom.
01:37And I feel like morale is pretty high at the moment.
01:42Nabil and I are like this.
01:44We're getting on so well that you and I now could even almost finish each other's sentences.
01:50Think of a musical instrument, and on three we say it.
01:52One, two, three, saxophone.
01:55Yeah, close enough.
01:56You blow on it.
01:58Okay, let's think of a car.
01:59One, two, three, Toyota.
02:01Think of a colour.
02:02One, two, three, red.
02:05I was going to say black, but then...
02:06You weren't sure if it was okay.
02:08I wasn't sure if it was okay.
02:09Yeah.
02:10I know.
02:10Oh, my God.
02:13Do you know what's so funny?
02:15It's my wedding anniversary today.
02:17Is it?
02:18And you're spending it in bed with me.
02:21Do you celebrate that stuff?
02:25I mean, clearly not.
02:27Yeah, true.
02:29Favourite series you ever watched?
02:31Of all time.
02:33Yeah.
02:33I love The Walking Dead.
02:35My wife's water broke for our first child during an episode of The Walking Dead, and we waited
02:41till the episode ended before...
02:44Because it was that good?
02:47Yeah, before we got to move on.
02:48Salted edamame?
02:50Oh, I'm all right for the men, thanks.
02:53I'm trying to keep my glucose levels up.
02:57I just don't know what you're going to have to do next, do you?
02:59OK, teams, please look at the screens.
03:05It's game time.
03:06Oh, no.
03:07Uh-oh.
03:08To win this next game, all you've got to do is keep your eyes on the prize.
03:11Winning takes focus and concentration.
03:13Get distracted, and you lose.
03:15Take a step back whilst my minion set up the torture device.
03:19Sorry, I mean game.
03:20Take a step back while my minion set up the game.
03:22I said game.
03:24Uh-oh.
03:25This is Eyes on the Prize.
03:29Jess got to win this one.
03:32I know.
03:33Here's how it works.
03:34Are celebrities taking in turns to stare at a photo of me?
03:37You're welcome.
03:39But they have to avoid being distracted by other images on the screen.
03:43Is it going to be gross?
03:45I don't know.
03:47What if it's Jimmy getting hair implants?
03:51Implants?
03:52I don't know what you're talking about.
03:53And nor does the 12-year-old orphan whose hair I'm wearing.
03:57Anyway, our retina tracking software can tell exactly where they're looking,
04:01and will detect even the faintest of eye movements away from my frankly adorable face.
04:05The team that manages to ignore the diversions and focus their gaze more fully on me wins the game.
04:11You have to look at Jimmy, okay?
04:15What are the rules?
04:16Look at Jimmy.
04:17There we go, baby.
04:18Three, two, one, begin.
04:21Oh, this is so hard.
04:23I'm really burned with eye contact.
04:30Oh, my God.
04:32Jimmy, keep your eyes on Jimmy, keep your eyes on Jimmy, keep your eyes on Jimmy.
04:34He's nicked my pillow talk.
04:39Strong but silent, like a fart in a lift.
04:43I'm going to meet with some monkeys with penis noses.
04:46Just a standard Friday night, then.
04:48Oh, my God.
04:50Oh, my God.
04:51I got distracted.
04:54Jessica!
04:55By the muscular man, like a teenage girl.
04:58Did you actually?
04:59Yeah.
05:04Whilst my supercomputer analyses the results of the game, it's finally dawning on one of my guests that she might have gone to the wrong kind of lock-in.
05:12I don't mind telling you that I'm a little bit concerned that I'm running out of red wine.
05:20And if we lose this, it's going to be pretty hard to convince Ellie Taylor, who is pregnant, that we should be purchasing more alcohol.
05:28Basically, Jess thinks she's completely fucked.
05:31I was like, because she is a horny little teenager and got distracted by sexy men.
05:37Stand by.
05:38The results will appear on the screen shortly.
05:40I'll show them the results of their retina tracker, along with their percentage accuracy score.
05:45First off, let's see how the boys got on.
05:47Oh, God.
05:51Come on, Jamie.
05:53All over the shop.
05:54That's not all over the shop.
05:55Oh, my God.
05:56All over the shop.
05:57Oh, my God.
05:59That's better.
06:01That's better.
06:02It's not bad.
06:04Oh.
06:07Oh, my God.
06:09That's crazy.
06:10Okay, let's see how Nabil got on.
06:12Oh, God.
06:13Okay, come on, Nabil.
06:15Here we go.
06:15I'm sorry, dude.
06:17I failed us.
06:17No, you didn't.
06:19What the hell?
06:23That's a bit better.
06:27What?
06:32Oh, my God.
06:33Oh, my God.
06:36So, the boys scored a combined accuracy rate of 52%.
06:40Can the girls do any better?
06:42First up, let's see Ellie's results.
06:44Now, in my head, I was laser-vicious, but I don't know if I would be now.
06:55Hello.
06:56Ellie!
06:59Hello.
06:59I honestly don't believe that.
07:16I do, because it happened.
07:18Oh, no.
07:18Okay, finally, Jess.
07:21Oh, hello.
07:22Yes, very good.
07:24Very good.
07:26Oh, my God.
07:28Are you joking?
07:29Are you drunk?
07:31No.
07:33You're all over the place.
07:36Oh.
07:37Oh, actually, all right.
07:38Oh.
07:39That's great.
07:41Oh.
07:42Well, I've no idea who won that, then.
07:44Let's be frank.
07:45No-one was very good at that.
07:47But one team was marginally less shit than the other.
07:50The girls managed an accuracy score of 59%, just beating the boys 52%.
07:55Well, that's a win for the orange team.
07:58Yay!
07:59Yay!
08:00Oh, my God.
08:03Yes!
08:04Jess!
08:05I did like how I looked at the cat's arse a lot.
08:07You did, didn't you?
08:08You went straight in for the...
08:09Do you recollect doing that?
08:11No, in my head, I'm like, I looked at his left eye and just went...
08:15Oh, well, the bed's safe.
08:17As winners, the girls get to push the wall
08:19and steal back some precious living space from the boys.
08:26Press the phone.
08:27Orange team, when you're ready, tap the button...
08:29..and find out how far the wall is moving.
08:32Come on, let it be a fight.
08:33Mishallah, it's going to be like a two.
08:39It's not going to be a five.
08:41It's going to be a five!
08:47That's a complete and utter joke.
08:52You shouldn't have been so focused on those cat's anuses, should you?
08:56Push the wall.
09:04Go on, guys.
09:06Bye!
09:08Sorry.
09:08Sorry.
09:13Oh, look.
09:16Look at this.
09:17Oh.
09:20Oh.
09:21Oh.
09:21As well as the extra space, they also win some of the local currency,
09:33which in these parts is called box coin.
09:35All they have to do is pick a box.
09:37I'm going to pick A.
09:42Aw.
09:43Well, that is not as much as I was hoping to spend on red wine.
09:49Grab your tablet, buy some stuff.
09:52Geese to look.
09:53The girls get to pick which items to buy with their winnings.
09:56They choose chocolates, a juicer, a toasty maker and a second bottle of wine for Jess.
10:03And the mystery item.
10:04And the mystery item.
10:06Ah, yes.
10:06And a mystery item.
10:09Imagine they're hoping for more wine.
10:10Whilst the orange team wait for their prizes to arrive, the blue team tuck into, well,
10:16whatever the hell that is.
10:17This is great.
10:18Thank you so much, my friend.
10:20What?
10:24Oh, my God.
10:26Here comes your stuff, guys.
10:28Orange team, your purchases are at the door.
10:30Please collect them now.
10:32Oh, my goodness.
10:34It's Christmas.
10:35Something very exciting has arrived.
10:38What is it?
10:39For the lady.
10:42Oh, it's too fancy.
10:44I think we know what the mystery prize is.
10:47Oh.
10:50The mystery prize is I get to punch a pregnant lady.
10:55And that's television.
10:59Join us after the break when one of these celebrities will be chosen as a blood sacrifice to his satanic majesty.
11:05Stay tuned.
11:06It's going to be a lot of fun.
11:07Welcome back to Battle in the Box.
11:18Don't worry, everyone's still alive.
11:20And frankly, even if they weren't, the box doubles up as a casket, so it's a win-win.
11:25Let's see what they're up to.
11:26We're over 14 hours into this battle and the blue team are licking their wounds after losing the last game.
11:32The orange team, though, are very much up for the fight.
11:35I went to kickboxing once, and I loved it, and I bought all the kit on the day.
11:42Right.
11:43And then I never went back.
11:45Oh.
11:47But this is quite good.
11:50Do you need some kickboxing?
11:52Do a kick bit?
11:52It was like, one, two, like that.
11:57Where's the kicking?
11:58Yeah.
11:59Maybe it wasn't kickboxing.
12:00It's game time, people.
12:06Stand by for an important message.
12:08Good news, everyone.
12:09I'm about to put on a spot of afternoon tea.
12:12The first team to prepare and feed a cream tea to each other wins.
12:16Peckish or not, this is Going Going Scone.
12:19I love scones.
12:23This is handy.
12:24I do, too.
12:25Do you like a scone?
12:26Do I look like someone that likes scone?
12:31What am I going to sit down and hear a scone for when I can have real food?
12:35Afternoon tea.
12:36The fuck?
12:36I mean, no offence.
12:38Awkward.
12:39Jamie's family practically invented afternoon tea.
12:43Here's how it works.
12:44Players have to cream and jam a scone and feed it to their team-mate.
12:48Oh, my God.
12:49I would rather lose this.
12:50You would rather sleep in the bathroom.
12:52The first pair to finish eating their scones wins.
12:56Sounds simple.
12:57Well, it would be if they didn't have to wear absurdly long fake arms the whole time.
13:02Think Bake Off meets Mr Tickle, but set in a Category A prison.
13:07To be honest, for you, it's probably just going to look like normal-sized arms.
13:11How rude.
13:12I would say use both hands and from that distance just cream and feed all of them.
13:17Yeah, but I think we should...
13:19And then...
13:20But you can touch the ground.
13:21I think we should just...
13:22I think we should put...
13:23Bro, you ain't even let me finish my idea.
13:25Oh, yeah.
13:25You tell me where they get.
13:26Stop doing that.
13:27Fuck's sake.
13:28Just cream and jam all of them at once.
13:32And then from there, the game becomes trying to get one to the other person to eat.
13:36But why don't we just cream one?
13:37Because if that goes to waste, you have to start from the beginning again.
13:41Why not...
13:41Listen to us.
13:42Bro, just please.
13:44I have a bad back.
13:47I don't want to sleep in the corner of the room.
13:49Okay?
13:49This is the guy that said he'd be happy sleeping on the floor when he first arrived.
13:54Changed his tune, hasn't he?
13:55I think we can do it way quicker by you doing one and you doing one.
14:00Okay, fine.
14:00You know what?
14:01Let's do it your way.
14:02Just keep...
14:02No, no, no.
14:03We'll do it your way.
14:04We'll do it your way.
14:05No problem.
14:06Ha-ha!
14:07Looks like the honeymoon period is over for these two.
14:10Begs the question, why have they come here on their honeymoon?
14:13Anyway, time for our players to don their ridiculous equipment, assume their positions and begin the game.
14:20I don't want to sleep in a tight space tonight.
14:22We've got this easy peasy, trust me.
14:24No, it's not easy.
14:25It looks easy, but it's not.
14:27Good luck.
14:28Good luck.
14:30Cheney.
14:30Three, two, one, begin.
14:39Here we go.
14:41So you're going to put it on and I'm going to put this on top.
14:44Okay, you just tell me where.
14:47You've got two.
14:49Yeah, I've got two, thank you.
14:50Have you?
14:51Yeah, doing it like that.
14:52That's a good idea.
14:54It's jam.
14:54Is that jam on it?
14:55Yep.
14:56Nabeel there, opting to use invisible jam.
14:59Okay.
15:00There you go.
15:02Now chuck it into the rough.
15:04Fine dining at its best.
15:06Maybe the girls team are more civilised.
15:13I got chucked out of the Ritz for doing that.
15:15That's not enough jam.
15:16Don't give me too much.
15:18Don't try and lift the whole thing.
15:20Wait, wait, wait.
15:21First date has gone a bit weird, hasn't it?
15:23Good.
15:25Stop fucking laughing.
15:26Just eat.
15:28Just eat, just eat, just eat.
15:29Quick, come on.
15:30I'm fucking trying.
15:32How are we going to eat that?
15:33One bite.
15:34Oh, my God.
15:36Just have one bite and then just get that down in and then we'll go for the second bite.
15:43Okay?
15:43Have it dry.
15:44Talking of dry, how's our jamless, creamless scone getting on?
15:52Back on.
15:53Just keep going, keep going, keep going.
15:54Oh, look, good effort.
15:59Really good.
16:00Good girl.
16:05Here we go, eat the top half first.
16:12There's water by the side once you're finished.
16:14But for now, you have to just soldier through it.
16:15Both teams, one scone down, and at the halfway point, it's neck and jam-smeared neck.
16:22Oh, my God.
16:25Come on.
16:26Don't want it.
16:26Stop.
16:27Yeah.
16:28But while the girls are already on to their second scone, the boys are only just preparing
16:33theirs.
16:34Jam.
16:36Cream.
16:39Here you go.
16:40Jess.
16:42I'm laughing.
16:45Mmm.
16:47It's so right.
16:49Get in there.
16:50Oh, yeah.
16:53That's one.
16:54You got this, dude.
16:56It's fucking swollen.
16:57Get a move on.
16:58Boys, the girls are halfway through their final scone.
17:03Last pick.
17:03I'm fucking going on.
17:06Come on.
17:07Come on.
17:07We're so close.
17:08Eat it, baby.
17:09Shut up.
17:13Mother.
17:16Oh, you guys are so sweet together.
17:22That's the last bite.
17:23And if she can swallow it in time, they've won.
17:31It's in.
17:33Jamie thinks they've won it.
17:35But Nappet steals it.
17:38Yes!
17:38Well, that's a win for the orange team.
17:40Ay-oh, ay-oh, ay-oh, ay-oh, ay-oh, ay-oh.
17:43Oh, that's hard to swallow for the blue team, which is appropriate.
17:47How allowed did we lose that?
17:48It was quicker than anything.
17:49Spent too much time deliberating.
17:51There's no ways.
17:52Don't worry, boys.
17:53The only real winner here is Gaviscon.
17:56What was your technique?
17:57What was your technique?
17:57It's going really quickly.
18:00I want to see an action replay on that.
18:03There's no way we lost that.
18:05We just did.
18:06I don't think we could have lost.
18:09My way would have been quicker, man.
18:11You can't get quicker than that.
18:12We put it on and on.
18:14My way would have been quicker.
18:14When you're ready, tap the button and see how fun of the wall will move.
18:22Bye!
18:23You happy?
18:38No, I'm not happy.
18:38Okay.
18:39We lost because of your bullshit.
18:40We didn't lose.
18:41We freaking won.
18:43Why are you so confident that you won when we won?
18:46Because you cheated on.
18:48We finished eating long before you.
18:49No, we had finished before.
18:50You didn't even see it.
18:51Nabil and I had our first argument.
18:54About scones?
18:56About scones.
18:56Are you getting tired and grumpy now?
18:59No.
19:00No.
19:01No.
19:07Push the wall.
19:21They might have claimed more space, but the orange team only won 500 box coin.
19:29Five turn.
19:32Oh, okay.
19:33I hate losing at anything.
19:37If we lose the next one, we're stuck in the kitchen.
19:39Oh, now it's dawning on you.
19:42If we lose another one, someone's sleeping in the bathroom.
19:46Grab your tablets.
19:47Treat yourself.
19:47Whilst the girls choose their latest prizes, the boys are getting to know each other a little
19:52bit better.
19:55You were on Big Brother, weren't you?
19:59Yeah.
19:59You dated that girl that's like a Posh Spice lookalike on Big Brother.
20:03Who's that?
20:05You kept on talking about how you look like David Beckham.
20:08No, I didn't.
20:09Why are you lying?
20:10I've never done it.
20:11Is it embarrassing or something?
20:12I've never done it.
20:13Oh, my God.
20:17They're so okay.
20:19If I'm overhearing it correctly, Nabil thought that Jamie was like married to Posh Spice or
20:27something.
20:30I think even before you did Made in Chelsea.
20:33What?
20:34Yeah, but back then they used to call you Ziggy, innit?
20:37You're joking.
20:38No.
20:39You're talking shit.
20:40I don't know who the fuck Ziggy is.
20:42Ask them.
20:42You did Big Brother.
20:43The Bill thinks I was in Big Brother.
20:47What?
20:48Yeah, he was.
20:48I was never...
20:49You didn't tell people his real name.
20:52He thought I was called Ziggy.
20:54Ziggy?
20:55I remember Ziggy being on Big Brother.
20:57See?
20:58You are Big Brother.
20:58No, he's not Ziggy.
21:00Yes, he is.
21:01Does Ziggy look like me?
21:02No.
21:03Yes, he does.
21:04No, he doesn't at all.
21:05He's just a man who has slightly blonde hair.
21:06Do you wear glasses?
21:08No.
21:10Maybe you should, because this is Ziggy.
21:12Oh, hello.
21:15Ooh.
21:17The Orange team's prizes have arrived, and they've gone for all the essentials.
21:21A couple of plants, a lamp, and a weird silver dog.
21:24Wow, we're really going to ramp up the decor in here.
21:33Our celebrities have been in the box now for 15 hours, and Nabil is still drilling down into
21:39their CVs.
21:40Oh, they're letting us see one another.
21:43Oh, hiya.
21:44Oh.
21:45Oh, Nabil's having a breakdown.
21:45No, I'm not Phoebe Waller-Bridge.
21:49Jess, do you get that a lot?
21:51Just a bit.
21:55Jess, I loved you in Fleabag.
21:57Shut up.
21:58Oh, they're letting us see one another.
22:03Oh, hiya.
22:05Oh.
22:06Oh, Nabil's having a breakdown.
22:09Hey, guys, guess what?
22:11You're not going to sleep.
22:13Is that a threat?
22:14No.
22:15It's a prediction.
22:17Why?
22:18I snore really loud.
22:20We've both bought earplugs.
22:22Those would help you.
22:23Right, I'm going to dim the lights now.
22:31Time for you to get some beauty sleep.
22:33I'm talking to you, blue team.
22:35What?
22:37Night, Jimmy.
22:38Thanks for the opportunity.
22:40To sleep in a box.
22:42This is much better than my anniversary.
22:46Night.
22:47Night, night, mate.
22:48And as the team settle down for the night, silence descends on the box.
22:53Sort of.
23:02Sweet dreams, and Nabil, enjoy the count she didn't want.
23:15Welcome back to Battle in the Box,
23:16the show that takes four famous people and locks them up in a box.
23:20Finally, it's like pointless celebrities meets Squid Game.
23:23Jess, Ellie, Jamie and Nabil have been locked inside the box for just over 18 hours,
23:29and they've been sleeping for the last two of them.
23:31That's enough sleep for anyone, isn't it?
23:32Morning, everybody.
23:40Did you sleep well?
23:41Yeah.
23:42Did I wake you?
23:43It's time to play a game.
23:46The fuck happened?
23:47Hey, Siri, show me gaslighting.
23:50You snort, too?
23:51No ways.
23:52Get out of here.
23:53Yeah.
23:55Is that right?
23:56Yeah.
23:58Yours was the loudest thing I've ever heard.
24:01I warned you.
24:04Do you want a cup of tea?
24:06Yes, please.
24:07This is a horrible reminder of what it's like when you've got a baby.
24:19Oh, horrific.
24:20Who would do that?
24:23Morning, guys.
24:24Morning.
24:25What's he doing saying morning?
24:27Yeah.
24:28Oh, morning, like we've been asleep all night.
24:31We've been asleep for an hour.
24:33Did you sleep on the floor, Jamie?
24:36Yeah.
24:36Is that the first time you've ever slept on a floor?
24:39No, I've slept on the floor many a time.
24:42Yeah, but, like, without the butlers coming,
24:44picking you up and tucking you into a bed.
24:47Here we go.
24:48Come on, then.
24:48Let's get on with this.
24:50What batshit game are we going to have to do now?
24:57OK, teams, please pay attention to the screen.
25:00It's game time.
25:01Jess is having a wee action, Jimmy.
25:03This game is my own twist on ping-pong.
25:06As my mother always said,
25:07why limit yourself to one ball when you can have hundreds?
25:10Hit as many balls as you can into your opponent's half
25:13before the klaxon sounds, and you win.
25:15I'll join you in a bit,
25:17just as soon as my minions have set this up.
25:19This is Shot in the Dark.
25:23Here's how it works.
25:24Both teams have a tube of ping-pong balls.
25:26All they have to do is bat them through the hatch.
25:29The only problem is their opponents will be trying to bat them straight back.
25:33The team with the fewest balls on their side at the end wins the game.
25:38Will you be OK?
25:39Yeah, we're going to nail this.
25:41Oh, and one other thing.
25:42They'll be doing it in complete darkness.
25:44Yeah, I'm nice like that.
25:46I bet you're good at tennis, aren't you, Jamie?
25:50Yeah, I bet you are.
25:51I'm actually all right.
25:52Have you got a tennis court?
25:54Uh, no, I don't.
25:57Oh, you poor thing.
25:58I do have one.
25:59When I say go, the balls will be released and this game will start.
26:05OK, teams, you ready?
26:07Paddles in hand.
26:08On your marks.
26:10Gate set.
26:16Oh, God.
26:18Is he going to appear?
26:19I get a horror movie against the glass.
26:21Oh.
26:26Go.
26:26Oh, my God.
26:33This is awful.
26:34This is so much harder than I thought.
26:37Probably doesn't help that you've only had a couple of hours sleep.
26:39Yeah, sorry about that.
26:41OK, pick up a few.
26:42Yes.
26:43We're at the halfway point and this is anyone's game.
26:46This should be an Olympic sport.
26:48Not the game, obviously.
26:49That's dog shit.
26:50I mean sleep deprivation.
26:52Oh, shit.
26:55Interesting fact.
26:55This is exactly what Cliff Richard sees at Wimbledon when he forgets his meds.
27:03Oh, my God.
27:04That was awful.
27:06OK, it's time for us to count the balls.
27:08Please return them to their original tube.
27:10Oh, can we have a minion?
27:12Do you think you want?
27:13I don't know.
27:15One of them was really good.
27:16Yeah.
27:16I felt bad barking quick, quick, hurry up to a pregnant lady.
27:21Yeah.
27:22Well, I don't think it was anything to do with being pregnant.
27:24I think I'm just inept at ball sports.
27:27Well, that's a win for the orange team.
27:33I'll be honest, I didn't think you had it in you.
27:35Yeah!
27:36Oh, God.
27:38Smashed it.
27:39That's just a joke.
27:40Victory.
27:40That's not a joke.
27:41It's a complete joke.
27:42Victory.
27:42Yes, the boys' balls are almost bursting out there, whereas the girls have just got a handful.
27:51Oh, God, Jess, we're going to have to buy more things.
27:54Isn't it hard living in a capitalist society?
27:58Well, it's trash compactor time now.
28:01Spin the wheel, move that wall.
28:03Oh, I feel mean doing it now.
28:06They deserve it.
28:08It can only move a maximum of three spaces.
28:11But how far will it go?
28:12Will it be a magic number?
28:15Will it land?
28:16Oh!
28:17Ooh!
28:19Not what I would have wanted for them.
28:21What would you want?
28:22Something a bit higher than that, probably.
28:24Five.
28:25I think they'd be in the sink.
28:26Yeah.
28:27How do you feel about losing two spaces?
28:32Shit.
28:35I don't care what health and safety say.
28:38Push the wall.
28:39Off she goes.
28:41Whee!
28:42We're literally being colonised, Rob.
28:46Oh, hello.
28:49Lovely and roomy.
28:54The girls also won 500 box coin.
28:58And treated themselves to a coffee machine and a spot of brekkie.
29:01Ellie's just going to watch me enjoy that.
29:05This is very strange.
29:08You're used to stuff like this.
29:09You're big brother.
29:10We're going to have a victory juice.
29:12Oh, yeah!
29:15We're juicing.
29:17We're winning.
29:18Oranges, juice it.
29:19Apples, juice it.
29:21Cheese, juice it.
29:22Juice it.
29:24Granola, juice it.
29:26Butter, juice it.
29:27Juice it.
29:28This is fun.
29:29You've got to keep the morale up.
29:35We're back in.
29:37No way not.
29:38I'm feeling more energised.
29:41Go out and energise yourself outside.
29:43Great job keeping morale up, Jamie.
29:47This is bound to help too.
29:48The Minions are arriving with the Orange Team's prizes.
29:54Orange Team, your purchases are at the door.
29:57Please collect them right now.
29:59Jesus.
30:00You've got nothing else on.
30:01It's just so much stuff.
30:04We've just got...
30:05We've just won so much stuff.
30:08I could do this all day.
30:10I know.
30:12Oh.
30:16Hey, camera.
30:18Let's make the room even smaller.
30:21Let's have no more food.
30:24I could do this for another 20 hours with Nabil,
30:25and he could do it with me.
30:26Say the truth.
30:30Why not?
30:32Because then I'd have to go to jail.
30:35We've got to take a break now,
30:36but join us afterwards
30:37when our very own inmates
30:38go head-to-head one final time
30:40for the chance to escape.
30:49Welcome back to Battle in the Box.
30:51Our celebrities have been in the box
30:53for almost 20 hours,
30:55and the girls have won so much food
30:56they can't even eat it all themselves.
30:59Do you think I should make them a toasty?
31:01I think you're awesome.
31:04Guys?
31:05Yeah?
31:06Do you want a cheese toasty?
31:08Oh, my God, you sweet thing.
31:11No, I don't...
31:12No, do you want a cheese toasty?
31:13I wouldn't want to inconvenience, though.
31:15He would love one.
31:17He's being too polite.
31:18Oh, my God, what?
31:24Toasted time!
31:26Are you serious?
31:31Does it fit through?
31:34Oh, thank you.
31:35Thank you so much.
31:36Could I make you something?
31:38No, thanks.
31:39You're just turning down all our offers.
31:41We've honestly got...
31:42We've got too much.
31:44You've got so much money
31:45that you even bought a dog.
31:47Yeah.
31:48Yeah, we did.
31:48We're coming towards the end of the show,
31:53but there's just time
31:54for one more embarrassing live humiliation.
31:57Oh, game.
31:58This is it, the grand finale.
32:00For a day and a night,
32:01you've been confined to the box,
32:03and right now, broken and disoriented,
32:05the only way out is through this mental challenge.
32:07Orange team, blue team,
32:09it's time to play.
32:10Boobie boxes.
32:14Both teams have six boxes
32:16with six statements.
32:17Three of them are true
32:19and contain keys,
32:20but three of them are totally made up
32:22and contain booby traps.
32:25We've got this.
32:26Right, we're ready to rumble.
32:28The first team to collect all three keys
32:30can escape the box,
32:31but they have to beware,
32:33because if they set off three booby traps,
32:35it's an automatic loss,
32:36and the other team goes free.
32:39Orange team,
32:40as you're currently in the lead
32:41with the biggest box,
32:42you get to pick first.
32:43In 2022, there was only one caribou
32:45in the UK.
32:46OK, you're not calling someone Karen,
32:49are you?
32:50No, but one in 2022...
32:52This, also, pretty likely,
32:55humans spend over a year of their life pooing.
33:00Sounds absolutely plausible.
33:02A year of their lives.
33:04Yeah.
33:05I mean, sometimes it can feel like that.
33:07Orange team, pick a box.
33:08We're going to go for humans spend over a year
33:11of their life pooing.
33:12Ready?
33:17That was horrible.
33:20I think I've gone into labour.
33:21No, we don't spend a year of our lives pooing.
33:24Jess, you might need some more fibre in your diet.
33:27Over to you, blue team.
33:27OK, let's go through this.
33:30The first advert on Channel 5
33:33was for Chanel No. 5.
33:34I think Chanel No. 5 is way more recent.
33:37Centre partings are not permitted
33:38by the British military.
33:39I think we go for that.
33:40The military has so many rules.
33:42Archaic rules,
33:43but then they're changing a lot as well.
33:45Blue team, pick a box.
33:48Should we do it?
33:49Centre partings are not permitted
33:54by the British military.
33:57Oh, my God.
34:01That is so sketch.
34:03What is that?
34:05Um, it's a booby trap.
34:06Have you not been paying attention?
34:08So that's one wrong answer each.
34:10Can the girls turn things around?
34:12Charlie Chaplin and 50 Cent were alive
34:14at the same time.
34:15No.
34:16It would be ridiculous
34:17if Charlie Chaplin and 50 Cent were...
34:18Of course not.
34:19That's absolutely chock full of boobies,
34:21that one.
34:22Now, hang on, hang on.
34:22No, listen, though.
34:23He could have been 100
34:24and the 50 Cent could have been born.
34:25Charlie Chaplin was in, like,
34:27the first talkies in the 1920s.
34:31But he lived for ages and had...
34:33OK, so let's say he was 20 in the 20s.
34:35He's 90 in the 90s.
34:36So he could have been 70 in the 70s.
34:39That's true, actually.
34:40And then 50 Cent's probably...
34:4150 Cent was probably born
34:42in the 70s or the 80s.
34:43Yeah, so that could be true.
34:45That actually could be true.
34:47Orange team, pick a box.
34:49OK.
34:49You open it.
34:50Charlie Chaplin and 50 Cent
34:52were alive at the same time.
34:56Oh!
34:57Yes!
34:58Well done!
35:00I'm sorry for doubting you.
35:02That's OK.
35:02It made us talk you through.
35:04It's first blood to the orange team.
35:06Blue team, what have you got?
35:08Oh, no!
35:09I just don't know any of these.
35:11An uncoiled slinky is up to...
35:13Two feet.
35:14It's 82 feet long.
35:16They use that much resources
35:17to make a kid's toy.
35:19OK, let's not go for that, then.
35:21Which one?
35:22I think about the chimpanzee punching a cake.
35:27Why would it be a chimpanzee?
35:29It was very random.
35:30They were just testing our videos
35:32when they first made YouTube.
35:33All right.
35:34We're going to go for it.
35:35OK.
35:35If we get it wrong, then my bad.
35:39Blue team, your turn to pick a box.
35:42The first YouTube video featured
35:43a chimpanzee punching a cake.
35:46Oh, my God, dude.
35:48I knew it.
35:51Oh, mate.
35:52You didn't know it
35:53because you got it wrong, actually.
35:54No.
35:55Shit!
35:57Why was it going to be a chimpanzee?
35:59Punching a cake?
36:01It might be a trick question.
36:02What's really an orangutan?
36:03The first YouTube video
36:05was actually a young man
36:06visiting an elephant in the zoo.
36:08David Attenborough's come a long way
36:09since then, hasn't he?
36:10So that's two booby traps for the boys.
36:12They can't afford to make any more mistakes.
36:15What about this one?
36:17Only fools and horses were originally called
36:18Pope and Thonkers.
36:18I feel like those are the truth.
36:21Do you?
36:21Yeah.
36:22The Pope used to be a bouncer.
36:23He's so good.
36:25So that means he has to have worked
36:27at, like, a Wetherspoon's.
36:29Unless he was a late convert to Jesus.
36:32Well, then he's climbed up the ladder
36:34pretty quickly, if that's the case.
36:37This?
36:38It's very feasible.
36:40Orange team, your turn to pick a box.
36:43Let's do it.
36:44We're doubtfully going for only fools and horses
36:47was originally called Peck and Plonkers.
36:53No!
36:53We're the bloody Peck and Plonkers.
36:57OK, come on.
37:00Come on, we've got this.
37:02That's their second booby trap.
37:04But if the boys get this wrong,
37:06the girls win.
37:07I just think we go for the one
37:08that we don't even know who she is.
37:09Moira Stewart is Danny Dyer's godmother.
37:11You don't know who Moira Stewart is?
37:14Oh, who is she then, Jess?
37:16You deserve to stay in your box.
37:18She's an incredibly well-known.
37:20She's an icon of news reading.
37:22I think that's how he got into TV
37:24and movies.
37:26Moira Stewart.
37:27Fuckin' hell.
37:28Let's go for a big guy.
37:30Hope it's not wrong,
37:31because if it is,
37:32we're out of here, baby.
37:34Bye, lizards.
37:35Bye.
37:36Maybe.
37:36OK, remember,
37:39if this is another booby trap,
37:41I'm afraid you're locked in
37:42and the other team wins.
37:44I think a slinky,
37:45an uncalled slinky,
37:46is up to 82 feet long.
37:47I've thought that for a while.
37:49Blue tea, pick a box.
37:51An uncalled slinky,
37:52is up to 82 feet long.
37:54And we won!
37:55Yes!
37:56I told you!
37:57I told you!
37:59I told you!
38:01I think he told them.
38:02Oh, no.
38:03Ow.
38:04Sorry.
38:05It's huge from us.
38:06That is huge from us.
38:07How many have you got now?
38:09We've got two dud.
38:10Oh, they've got one key.
38:11Same as us.
38:11Two dud, one key.
38:13Same as us, then.
38:13We're even Stevens.
38:14Oh, come on.
38:16Right, is that our turn now?
38:17Yeah.
38:18I still think that one's true.
38:20Do you?
38:20Yeah.
38:23OK.
38:24All right, then.
38:25Oh, God.
38:26But I've got really bad instincts.
38:28Oh, shit, yeah.
38:29Shame, guys.
38:30Oh, shut up.
38:31Here we go.
38:33OK, I'm going to go.
38:33John Major
38:34is a member of the Magic Circle.
38:37If this is another booby trap,
38:39the other team automatically win.
38:41Oh, no.
38:42Shit.
38:45OK, go on.
38:46Oh, God.
38:46I'm sorry.
38:49Oh, no!
38:52Come on!
38:58Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
38:59Wait.
39:00We won.
39:01We won.
39:01We won.
39:03Yes, you've won.
39:05What did you think you were celebrating?
39:06So, for fact fans,
39:09the first advert on Channel 5
39:11was indeed for Chanel No. 5.
39:13Turtles can breathe out of their bums.
39:15The Pope did used to be a bouncer.
39:17And there really was only one baby
39:19named Karen in 2022.
39:22That is absolutely incredible, isn't it?
39:24That poor Karen.
39:26Oh, goodness.
39:29Bad guys do win in the end.
39:31Congratulations.
39:32You are the winners.
39:33You're now free to loot the box
39:34for all it's worth
39:35and make your way out into freedom.
39:38Well done.
39:39I'll tell you what I'm going to take.
39:45Think outside the box.
39:46Before they leave,
39:48the boys get to exercise winner's rights
39:50and push the wall
39:51all the way
39:52into the loser's half of the box.
39:54Get this.
39:54Oh, quick, quick, quick.
39:55Oh, hang on.
39:58This is how much space they had.
40:01Wow.
40:02It's too quick!
40:04This is wild.
40:06Bless Abia.
40:07We're not even bothered.
40:08We like a small box.
40:10Ah!
40:12Oh, my God.
40:13How are you guys in there?
40:13Are you all right?
40:14Yeah.
40:14Yeah, fine.
40:15All right.
40:16We're picking all our things.
40:17It's just cosy.
40:18We like it.
40:20Give me a hug.
40:23That was an experience, right?
40:24You love that.
40:25You love that.
40:25Yeah, let's do it again.
40:27I know.
40:27Let's do it again.
40:29Absolutely undeserved.
40:31Do you want to moon them
40:32as they go past?
40:34Sure.
40:34I mean, I'm not.
40:36Too many layers.
40:37Are you ready for this?
40:38Yeah, let's go.
40:39Okay, here we go.
40:43And we're free.
40:43Oh, my Lord.
40:46Oh, my God.
40:47Oh, hey.
40:49Hey, guys.
40:51Oh, whatever.
40:52Don't worry about it.
40:53Just remember that, all right?
40:55It's been an honour.
40:56It's been a pleasure.
40:58You guys just always...
41:00Just always think outside the box, all right?
41:02Bye, guys.
41:02See you later.
41:03Bye.
41:04Oh, bye.
41:06Yes!
41:08Moon.
41:09Did you just moonwalk out of there?
41:11Just moonwalk.
41:11That's the way to do it.
41:12As morning begins to break,
41:15Jamie and Nabeel finally leave the box,
41:18ready to share their newfound love with the world.
41:20Yes.
41:21Are we going to argue about who comes out first?
41:24You've been itching to come out for a while.
41:26You might as well.
41:26Victory and fresh air.
41:32Now, be honest.
41:33Tell everyone that you actually love me.
41:35Just go on.
41:36I can't wait to get home and not wait.
41:41I don't want to do it again with anyone else, Jess.
41:45Aw, me neither.
41:49But next time, it would be good if you could not be pregnant.
41:53Yeah, I won't do that again.
41:55What was our high point in the box?
41:57Leaving the box, I think, was my high point in the box.
42:00Actually, I tell you that.
42:01My highest point was being as annoying to you in sleep
42:04as you are to me when you're awake.
42:06I love the fact that at least I got to disturb you somehow eventually.
42:10We're going to go in smooth.
42:11Come on.
42:11Come on, big guy.
42:12Let's get you out of these clothes and into bed.
42:15Help!
42:18Dispatches.
42:19It's like moving a wall.
42:20Honestly, it's impossible.
42:22You've had all that practice.
42:23Right, I'll get into bed first.
42:24I'll see you in a bit.
42:26Seriously, keep that guy the fuck away from me.
42:28Right, I'm never going near Chelsea.
42:33Right.
42:33I mean, it's at this point that you think you wonder
42:36if you didn't need the Greyhound, isn't it?
42:39Well, it's going to keep us company.
42:41It's true.
42:47After a day and a night, the battle is over.
42:49Jamie and Nabil have left victorious.
42:51And as for Jess and Ellie, well, they're dead to me.
42:54And to everyone else, unless they break free before they run out of food.
42:57Good night.
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