As a Brazilian, the criminal part is, unfortunately, the truest. Second only to our grannies wielding a Flip flop on a hand
How dare you make fun of my culture!
Criminals in our country are pretty lame.
You mean like Pokemon Team Rocket, or like Home Alone?
This is also true for psychiatric or neurological issues. For example:
https://lemmy.world/post/38035805
We’re truly just one dude in 8 billion trench coats.
I’m Portuguese and it’s all true except the criminals. We once aren’t known for very string liquor but we drink lots of it to compensate.
I like a scotch finished in port casks so you contribute!
My culture… is in a petrie dish.
My culture is also in this persons petri dish… contaminating the sample.
I’m Dutch/British, and I can honestly say the Dutch don’t (historically) like tasty food. Maybe it’s the Calvinism, maybe were culturally broken. Maybe both.
Behold the Dutch breakfast
Now behold the Dutch lunch
No, that’s not a joke or a mistake. That’s real.
Typical Dutch food is Stamppot. Which is boiled potatoes (poorly) crushed with 1 or 2 boiled vegetables in it. There are a dozen versions of it and people will argue which beacon of sadness is better.
Another typical Dutch food: pea soup so thick you can eat it with a fork. It has peas, bacon, potato and sadness. Recently people added stuff to make it tasty, but historically it’s just peas and potato.
As a little break from food talk, here’s a famous Dutch painter making a famous Dutch painting: People eating potatoes . Literally just potatoes.
A typical classic Dutch desert is Hangop, which is yoghurt you hang (hence the name) in a cheesecloth to let the water soak out to make it more dense. That’s it. Plain yoghurt. Maybe add some honey for this amazing Dutch “treat”.
Now, we have amazing cheeses today, but historically Dutch cheese was pretty shit. Most of the land isn’t suited for cattle, so the milk had very little flavour. The Dutch invented adding herbs and spices into cheese. While french cheese might have a vague hint of cumin due to the ripening process in an ancient cave system, the Dutch would just chuck cumin into cheese.
We hate food, and it’s a genetic problem we still haven’t managed to break.


Direct embeds of breakfast and lunch above
Yeah, I call bullshit or a case of not appreciating your own culture.
Dutch were the damn spice traders of the world. This can be still seen in many dishes, even damn cookies like hagel.
You have had proper meats, so all meat products were in your cuisine - rook and metworsts. Pancakes with bacon and shit. Tiger bread with spreads.
You eat the damn abomination of a spice liquorice like its good, and you’re per capita biggest liquorice consumers.
Regarding sweet desserts, you have had a shitton of different pies and buttercakes, as well as this weird cake sandwitch called tampons or smthing like that.
Stamppot is food for the poorest workers. Like literally Dutch version of, idk, mcdonalds or smiliar. Of course its going to be filling but not fancy. If you eat it daily then damn, I’m sorry for you, grab some pears and red wine and make stoofperen.
Dutch were the damn spice traders of the world.
I’m just going to point out that the English were also spice traders and made good use of the spices themselves until they had to sell all their spices to prop up their collapsing empire.
You can take my dropjes out of my cold, dead fingers. :D
I had a Dutch roommate once who routinely ate sprinkles on toast for breakfast — she called it traditional.
Half my family is from the Caribbean and I’ll admit we eat some odd things (all manner of salted fruit for example), but I have a hard time computing sprinkle toast as a complete meal
I had a Dutch roommate once who routinely ate sprinkles on toast for breakfast — she called it traditional.
It is! Hagelslag on bread is very much a Dutch traditional food.
Bread, apply butter, pour chocolate sprinkles on. Eat.
So many people don’t appreciate how good high-quality butter is!
Oh, Dutch people use unsalted, and often the cheapest butter on their bread. And the majority use margerine
Doesn’t change how great high-quality butter is. :)
I do love (quality) sprinkles on straight-up white bread, but I will usually toast the bread first and put on a thin layer of peanut butter instead of butter.
Dollar-store generic sprinkles are AWFUL. De Ruijter or bust.
Thank you! Nobody I’ve pointed this out to seems to understand what an abomination cold butter on raw bread, with sprinkles is, I thought I was the crazy one.
I know I’m weird, but thickly slathered cold butter on bread can be amazing.
It’s a treasured tradition in Australia and New Zealand: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairy_bread
The first time I ever heard of this was in the game Dinkum. That was when I discovered Australians apparently say “hundreds and thousands” to refer to what we call sprinkles. I appreciate most of our little differences but that one puzzles me.
This is why you people were expelled to the furthest possible distance.
It’s not for me…I’d faster do it with melted butter and toast if I were going to. But then again, I eat hot pepper soaked pineapple rings, so maybe I don’t deserve to judge anyone…
The only major colonial empire which did not, in any way, import food from the colonies?
I’m from Denmark, we traditionally ate porridge and potatoes and pork, and of course rye bread so dense you can club someone to death with it if you want to.
The best Dutch food owes a lot to the occupation of Indonesia.
See, I know almost nothing about the Dutch cuisine. I heard you deep fry almost everything, and I like stroopwafels a lot.
In 10th grade I spent 2 weeks in the Netherlands on a school trip, but I remember absolutely nothing about the food which is actually sort of odd.
If I had to guess, I’d assume you eat classic farmers food, carb heavy with some sort of meat and dairy. But maybe that’s just because I assume everyone north of the Rhine to eat that.
Oh no, we imported lots of food. And we kept it nearly separate, never to mix it with our own.
We imported Indonesian food, mixed it with Cantonese food and called it “Chinese food”, or the “Chinese Indian Speciality Restaurant” https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinees-Indisch_restaurant
Oh that’s the best food culture I could imagine.
I hate it when people overvalue food. I have chronic gastric issues and I’m just so fed up with people trying to feed me or tell me how I’ve not eaten enough.
The only person to appreciate Dutch food is this self professed broken person here.
You take those stamppot hating words back or we’re gonna have a problem vriend
Tap for spoiler
But yeah our breakfast and lunches are dog shit
On the other hand… Bitterballen, poffertjes, awesome cheeses of all sorts, rookworst, stroopwafels, spekkoek, speculaas, advocaat…
And stampot is awesome, shut your piehole. :)
Oh yeah. Pannekoek
The fact that there is a snack that you warm on a cup of coffee but don’t dip in it (so as not to change the texture of either) is one of the most Dutch things I’ve ever heard of lol.
I’m partial to biscotti myself but I’ll admit a good stroopwafel is nice.
Yeah, Dutch snackbars have all kinds of foods that I haven’t even seen in Belgium, like mexicanos and kapsalons.
Also, hagelslag en chocoladevlokken, and the best peanut butter in the world.
Also, Dutch bread is actually good, so you don’t need to put a lot of stuff on it to make it tasty.
Bitterballen is up there as one of the best drinking foods I’ve had.
Bitterballen, poffertjes, awesome cheeses of all sorts, rookworst, stroopwafels, (…) pannekoek.
We’re great at snacks, that’s absolutely true.
But we share speculaas with Belgium and Germany, and spekkoek is Indonesian. Advocaat is… Probably an acquired taste, I’ve never seen anyone under 60 drink it
Funny story, we were in the Netherlands around the holidays last year and COULD NOT find advocaat. :( It definitely seems to be an old-person drink.
Comes of being a second-generation Canadian. I grew up with advocaat but I guess it’s a snapshot of ye olde times.
I’d be drinking Advocaat all the time if it wasn’t so expensive.
It’s not super difficult to make. Basically eggnog.
My stepmother make advocaat with (shudder) vanilla pudding mix and gin. It’s an abomination, but it’ll get you plastered pretty fast and it has the right consistency. I can’t honestly say I hate it, but I was happier not knowing how she made it.
Man I loooove split pea soup. You can use it as mortar but every spoonful is a warm hug in a way other soups can’t match
You know it’s bad when a Brit thinks your food is bad.
I remember once hearing a Dutch person say something like “British food might be shit but at least they have something, there are no notable Dutch dishes”.
As a Finn I feel sorry with a side of unexpected kinship over this post.
Relevant: https://youtube.com/shorts/co9ue2CQjEA
I do not know whether to be disgusted or sad. Probably both. I cannot comprehend a meal that does not contain a proper blend of spices and various interesting textures.
Around here, ya either a Jet, or ya nothin’!
Okay, but my culture really likes flavourful food that tastes good!
So that at least excludes the British
They said culture.
ducks and crawls away
Shut your whore mouth, Tikka Masala is great.
It’s telling that it’s always tikka masala, though, isn’t it?
Cornish pasty, cheddar cheese, Cumberland sausages, Lincolnshire sausages, not Richmond sausages.
marmite crumpets, there easy
I honestly enjoy mushy peas. Not from a box, but fresh made. And there’s a million amazing pies.
This is a cry for help, clearly.
Fish n’ chips isn’t complete without it.
Gotta say, for British food, fish and chips are surprisingly decent.

I am angry and sickened at the same time.
and also confusedly hungry…
*Also, you’re missing green goo.
This is a war crime.
Nah, it was quite okay.
lol the tea really makes this.
Well, I’ve heard that tea is what Brits like a whole lot.
I get mushy peas on Australian style meat pies a lot. It’s really good, especially with a shittonne of gravy.
Now I want pork pie
Okay but to be fair we actually have insane amounts of alcohol and alcoholism in eastern europe. I think all cultures have something unique whether that be good or bad. Sweden, where im living now, truly is very antisocial sometimes.
Okay but do you spank a log you fed all month until it poops candy and presents?
At first I thought piñata, but that’s not usually a log, and you don’t feed it? Wtf is this?
Catalan Tio de Nadal. Catalans are obsessed with shit so they also have the Caganer.
I guess the Caganer has not yet been roughed up to the point where he also shits out presents.
Well, this uh… hmm. Ok.
Ironically where I live everyone downplays the criminal groups when they really shouldn’t.
Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?

Not trying to narrow it down 😜. Britain though, since you asked. It’s not all teacups and pudding y’know.
My culture is super unique because it’s built on classism and religious wars.
Well, my culture is uniquer because it’s built on classism and wars against religions!
My cultures unique because the desert cooked our pale asses and we shot the religious for being too loud. The Catholics get an exception because nana is Catholic and shed kill us all.
I am from the south of northern Germany, we are close enough to the nordics that food is not that important to us save for a few exceptions.
Our grandpas are at least as bad as the grandmas in regards to pissing them off being a bad idea but that has more to do with many of them (of both genders) being assholes to younger people.
I live in one of the cities with the most crimes committed in the country but most normal people will never really notice it especially since the Hell’s Angels don’t have as much of a presence and direct influence in the city center as in the 90s and early 2000s.
Crackfurt am Meins oder Hannover?
Die schönste Stadt der Welt: Hannover
My culture has this one food that takes a lifetime to learn to like, that nobody else seems to appreciate. We will aggressively push it on you every dinner, partly to watch your reaction!
I love Marmite!

















