Twenty Six.
Sixteen.
We were both sixteen when the universe somehow made our paths cross through that video of yours. I used to squint my eyes, I refused to believe that a person like you exists to my doom. You were so certain about what you do — what you dreamed of, something that I would never be at that age. It’s so obvious in the way you talk and the way you conquer every new stage that you are a fighter, born to tell your stories to the world. Again, something I would never imagine I could become. I denied it at first, of course, it’s what I do best. But throughout the years, it is safe to say that we grow together.
Eighteen.
It was 2017. Right when my world started to crumble down. It was a mess, I was a mess but I remember I held on to my dream so dearly. But there you were, pushing limits and carrying the weight of every expectation on your small shoulder. It must’ve been hard being a teenager with that burden of expectation, because I remember I used to cry every night hoping I didn’t lose my spark. Yet you carried it well, you strived. You stood still. Was it confusing? Was it scary?
Either way, you nailed it.
Again, something I would never do when I was eighteen.
Twenty One.
We were both adults. I have lost everything I’ve ever known, everything I’ve believed in. I almost gave up, but again, somehow, you showed up. Yet again with another milestone, yet again with another message that speaks to my soul. I saw you once in one of those videos and a wave of familiarity hits. I was stunned by the way you were bravely giving a shout out to whom all the credits are due, our Father, the King of kings. I understood quietly back then, that you are guaranteed to endure all those rocky roads earlier in your teenage years because it was Him who lifts you higher.
But the wave of familiarity kept on hitting me to the point I was overwhelmed and that was when I realized that it’s because you translated my soul too well in ways I would not even dare to say it out loud. Thank you, for being brave enough. You have always been brave.
Twenty Two.
I’m alert, it’s a curse, yeah, it hurts
I don’t know my own strength
There’s a lot that I don’t know
But you learn when you don’t know
That was something you wrote in your lyrics, your first solo song, the long awaited milestone by all of us. But that was my wake up call. When the world was asking you to rest, to stop… You said you couldn’t because you still want to achieve so much more, you still have dreams. I know exactly what you feel. It was all so foggy, cloudy yet I was so certain to put myself all in.
I moved out. I stretched my limit. I cut the satanic loop. All because that one damn song, that really translated my mind and how I really feel. I said to myself, enough of admiring you from afar, to question where those strengths came from, it’s time for me to take the matter to my own hand. To mirror from you and to transform those adoration and inspiration into real action. If you can do it then I can do it too.
Get Grace’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
And there was when I understood that walking towards your dreams indeed, are not as easy as it seems. My adoration just came in triple, you must’ve been so resilient, so faithful, so sure. You always have been.
Twenty Five.
Guess who’s now living to the answered prayers? Yes, both of us.
As I took a deep breath today since you are turning twenty six tomorrow and I’ll follow you in several months, I came to realize that maybe, there’s no way you would read this letter. But this is just a reminder for me and others who love you that you did it. You helped me to pick up the pieces when it was too hard. You gave me hope by just existing, by just doing what you do best. But I saw through your masterpieces that its not merely a song, not just a form of entertainment. It is all a story, your story. You have poured all of your soul to it, that is why it touched every heart that came across to those works of yours.
I thought I would be eager to be in the front row — making sure you know how much I love you. But turns out, I find better ways to salute you, to thank you… by living out the good values that you have been showing us all through the years. By not giving up on my dreams. Thank you for keeping my dreams alive, thank you for being my mirror.
Twenty Six.
Congratulations, you have passed the confusing 25!
You once said that your favorite birthday verse is Exodus 9:16, “But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you My power and that My name might be proclaimed in all the earth.”
My two cents? You have lived up to that verse. You said yes to your calling despite the hardships. You stayed faithful despite the days when it was too hard for you. You dared to dream, because you know who upholds you.
So may this year equipped you much more with such kindness and strength. I hope you will always continue to find love wherever you go.
Loving you always comes in the purest form, adoration and respect. The role model I look up to.
Now if you ask me where you can find me..
Its your turn to squint, because you’ll find me at the very back of the crowds.
Don’t ask me to be the loudest because you know, I am bad at expressing. Don’t ask me to be in the front row because…
The view is better from back here, by the way. I can see you and all the people who love you. I can see how big you have grown. I can see how the lights fall upon your pretty face.
It is not that you will lose something important when I go… but rest assured, you will always part of me. You are my whole youth.
Happy birthday, Champ.
All is well.
