Peaceful
Life is beautiful when I look into my heart and live in peace.
I saw the garden beautifully. It seemed green with a sense of freshness, surrounded by insects, with dragonflies circling it. I sat on the grass alone, seeking the paintbrush to sketch the landscape immediately, while others were with their couples. Perhaps I could capture it precisely, since I wasn’t convinced I was good at sketching. At the moment, I was just looking at the view, feeling relaxed and peaceful.
When we live in peace, the world seems good, doesn’t it?
I’m living in my cherished moment, whenever sadness haunts me, I’ll try to be more positive and bring myself happiness. Although this may not sound good initially, I allow myself to take a deep breath for a moment, thinking more clearly.
The butterflies are always showing their wings, which defines their magnificence. By contrast, you actually don’t know when it happens, whether they get sick or they’re dying. You only focus on their wings, which are their strength to keep their silence. Therefore, being quiet also comes at a price you have to pay regularly, as though witnessing yourself guarding your hidden secrets.
I had struggled due to depression. I felt my life had become unfair, shattering my mind drastically. I didn’t care about all the stuff, whether it was on the flanked left or around me. I only paid attention to my own insane thoughts, causing my soul to fall to pieces. My feeling couldn’t possibly exist in that moment, like a possessed person.
The comedy was fun, but it has its place. Everyone knows that depression is not funny at all. If it was true, it was the cruelest joke ever.
Many people argue that several conditions may affect their ability to control their emotions, which was true for the statement. Conversely, it was my experience that changed my perceptions towards life afterwards. One of the possible solutions to address these issues for me was trying to find myself in every single part of my life. It sounds like the smallest thing, simple, and familiar. But I can guarantee the small tips will gradually change your mind, and I’ve already proven it.
By knowing myself, I have no clue how to deal with it. Thinking more often about myself made me realize I didn’t know anything, emphasizing the need to be more aware. The more I search for answers, the more I felt lost in the dark, running in circles without an exit. As a result, I didn’t know myself, and it leads to a nightmare.
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I could genuinely say this was one of my lowest points a few years ago. The pain was shrunk, but the piercing was still sticking to the deepest parts. Fortunately, it can be addressed by acceptance and resilience, though it needs a long-term commitment.
How to address this situation?
Shall I give up?
From this moment, I learned one thing: ‘understanding ourselves is more complicated than I thought back then’.
Every night, since I usually couldn’t get to sleep earlier, I’m used to taking some time to ponder and overthink. It was quite hard at first, but once you find a ‘clicked’ intuition in your heart, I believe you’ll find peace. But I’m still being an overthinker. I was only trying to change my habit, particularly when I had this issue. Listing what I reflected on in a day and evaluating each part, such as making a table matrix of SWOT or journaling, since I love writing. Gratefully, this might help in my life, letting my emotions go and releasing a sense of relief. I’m feeling much gratitude.
Apparently, life is becoming warm, filled with surprises and mysteries, leading to letting go of bitterness and embracing the peacefulness.
This problem has inevitably changed my life. If I could go back to those times and see myself, I would hug her tightly. I didn’t regret what I had done because it made me feel like myself, who has more empathy for others. I had nonchalant feelings toward people and assumed I could stand on my hands. It had gone, as if the mice had found their predators running away without a mark. Perhaps if I hadn’t gotten into this situation, my thoughts would be similar to those back then, resulting in a new me a few years ago.
Once I get depressed, I felt fed up enormously and justify myself for no reason. Seemingly, the darkness I’ve ever experienced could lead me to valuable learning, shaping me to resilience, self-compassion, and acceptance. I’m getting used to seeing another perspective, which makes it more convenient.
The wrestle with myself could be more exhausting. Furthermore, living in peace involves high encouragement and sacrifice, which can be intimidating and draining. It’s the hardest part of myself, honestly. Despite understanding continuously, learning the scope of psychology also helps to think more wisely. Both will be balanced.
The butterflies were getting further, flying beautifully, and showing their truth; similarly, other insects appeared around the garden. I was still there in the garden, sitting on the bench to watch the grasshoppers, hopping with rhythmic taps. It looked funny, I also saw colonies of ants walking and circling the food they had found. Apparently, the garden’s busy activity came from the insects around there. Gradually, the sun went down, shifting into darkness. The world seemed good at night, created by the sparkle of stars.
That’s life, though life must go on, but the change of direction won’t stop. There is good or bad wherever we step. We have to keep the peace, and it makes us more alive. I do believe it.
