- 5 months ago
- #taskmaster
Category
✨
PeopleTranscript
00:00Oh
00:30Tēnā koutou katoa, nau mai, haere mai and welcome to a brand new season of Taskmaster New Zealand.
00:43My name is Jeremy Wells and every year as part of my charity work in the Big Buddy Little Buddy program
00:49I arrange for five comedians to spend time with my little buddy Paul here
00:54completing a series of tasks that feel surprisingly high stakes
00:58considering the fact that none of this matters in the slightest.
01:03These comedians aren't just here out of the goodness of their hearts
01:06they're here for this
01:08my golden head.
01:11So let's introduce the five comedians who for the next ten weeks will be gaining points and losing dignity.
01:19Please put your hands together for Alice Sneddon
01:23Brie Thomas L
01:26Jack Ansett
01:29Jackie Bambi
01:31and Pat Sasati
01:34and joining me as always is the man who calls me his best friend for life
01:40and who I'm proud to call an occasional colleague
01:43it's my assistant ladies and gentlemen Paul Williams
01:46How's it going Paul?
01:52Paul has taken a two month vow of silence
02:02So how long has he got to go?
02:05So how long has he got to go?
02:07I'm good
02:08Okay
02:09Thank you Lachlan
02:12Wow
02:15Good to be back
02:17That monk's name is Lachlan?
02:19Yeah
02:20Yeah
02:21Wow
02:22First up as always we'll be beginning with the prize task
02:27Tonight we've asked our contestants to bring in the thing that gives them the most street cred
02:33and whoever wins tonight's episode will take home all five things and the respect of the streets
02:40What did you bring in Alice?
02:42There's nothing that gives you more street cred than drugs
02:46But I wasn't allowed to bring in any of those so I thought what's second best
02:53and that is a list of people who both do drugs and are successful
03:00But what's incredible about the list is the company I'm in
03:04Up the top Elon Musk
03:06Wow
03:08So obviously this list was created a while ago where that was actually a bigger get
03:13Number four Barack Obama
03:15And then coming in at number three Alice Sneddon
03:18How did you end up on this list?
03:21Have you openly been a weed smoker?
03:24Yeah
03:25Have you openly been successful?
03:27Oh Pax
03:28That's actually something I prefer to keep private
03:32Brie what did you bring in?
03:34Look Jeremy I thought what gives me the most street cred it's my personalised number plates
03:39Oh
03:40Oh my god
03:42Flashdoll
03:43I wish I was joking
03:45Yeah
03:46So you do realise that if you don't win this prize task
03:50Those number plates go to the person who wins the episode
03:53And that's why I think everyone will let me win tonight
03:57And I would actually like to withdraw from competition
04:00Jack what did you bring in?
04:02I emailed New Zealand's longest running soap opera Shortland Street
04:07And I asked if I could be on an episode and they said yes and I got an actual street cred
04:12There we are
04:13There you go
04:14Thank you
04:15Congratulations
04:16Very impressive
04:17I also have been on the street
04:20I've also been on the street
04:22Oh for f**k sakes
04:23Has anyone not been on Shortland Street?
04:25Everyone's been, everyone here has probably been on Shortland Street
04:27Hey hey hey
04:28Anyone in the audience been on Shortland Street?
04:30Yeah there's a few that are on too
04:31Jackie what did you bring in for the prize task?
04:36So I freaked and I went to the internet and I just typed in like you know what could give me street cred
04:43It said there are a few ways you can get street cred without being in a gang
04:48So I thought great
04:49Always be honest in your business interactions
04:53No one wants to buy molly from a guy who's known to cut it with meth
04:57So that's good
05:00This is my research
05:01But, but, but, but, but, but, here we go
05:03A better idea is not trying to get street cred
05:07It doesn't really get you anywhere later in life
05:10I'm 49
05:11It's way safer, more profitable and ultimately more respectable to stay on the straightish and narrowish
05:18So I actually, yeah I chose to put up reading glasses to kind of go against the street cred
05:27Oh
05:29Weirdly I still think this is better than Jack's
05:31Oh, 100%! 100%!
05:34Pax what did you bring in?
05:36Something that I think gives you a lot of street cred is breaking and entering
05:41And I've stolen something that you may recognise
05:45Oh
05:46Oh
05:47Oh
05:48Oh
05:49Oh
05:50Oh
05:51Oh is right
05:52Oh
05:53What happened to the bat?
05:54Where's the, where's the bat gone?
05:56You broke it, you broke it
05:57There's only 200 of those in existence, well there were when they were made
06:01Yeah, it was already like that
06:03I also have footage of me stealing it if you'd like to see that
06:07Could have you not at least stole the Mike Hosking puppet?
06:10No, I found that terrifying
06:13I feel really guilty and I have to show you, I did more
06:19Oh you are
06:20Oh that's what he's doing
06:23I just couldn't resist, I couldn't resist
06:28It's gonna be hard for me to judge this
06:31Who do I give one point to? It's hard to know who not to give one point to
06:35I think I'm gonna go Jackie's glasses one, two points for Brie and the number plates
06:43That's fair
06:44God help me three points for Jack
06:46Easy tiger
06:47I'm gonna go four points for Alice
06:50And it was an impressive effort from you Pax despite the fact that you've stolen one of my most treasured possessions
06:56Five points for Pax
07:02Okay enough admin
07:03I'm ready for the first proper task of the show Paul
07:06Sure thing Jeremy
07:07Oh my god I'm so nervous
07:08In a Taskmaster New Zealand first
07:11This season our contestants completed some of their tasks at a new location
07:16That location?
07:18Rainbow's End
07:20New Zealand's best and only theme park
07:24Here is one of those tasks and this one has our contestants bouncing off the walls
07:30Ah
07:38Is that you Paul?
07:40Yeah
07:41Hello Paul
07:42Hello Brie
07:43Hello Alice
07:44Hello Paul
07:45Hello Jackie
07:51I just wanted to keep it traditional
07:53Alrighty here we go
07:56With one roll bounce this ball off the walls as many times as possible before knocking over the toilet paper tower
08:07You may not touch the ball in any manner once you have rolled it
08:12Most times the ball hits a wall before it knocks over the tower wins
08:16You have 18 minutes to prepare and then one official attempt
08:20To signal your official attempt say the phrase let the good times roll before rolling your ball
08:26Your time starts now
08:28Okay that's a piece of piss
08:29You can practice but you have one official roll
08:32And I can use these?
08:33Mhm
08:34That is what they're for
08:35Okay
08:36Alright thank you Paul
08:42Seems pretty simple
08:44I guess we need to address a couple of things firstly
08:46Jack
08:47Yeah
08:48Any reason why you're dressed like David Bain representing Dunedin in Top Town 1986
08:53Wow
08:54Wow
08:55Jeremy I'd argue I'm always dressed like David Bain
08:58Um
08:59Um
09:00Yeah I actually dressed as a runner
09:02Did that not come across?
09:04He used to do a paper run
09:06Um
09:09I actually auditioned to be a young David Bain in the David Bain TV show
09:14Yeah
09:15I don't know if you've ever been in a waiting room full of David Bain lookalikes
09:19Before
09:20But um
09:21Yeah
09:22There haven't been that many Bains in one room since 1994
09:25But anyway
09:26Um
09:27Sorry
09:28Okay
09:29Okay Paul
09:30Whose blue roll bowling are we gonna see first?
09:33What do Mad Men, Scream 4 and the Lego Movie all have in common?
09:37It's Alison Brie
09:38Woo
09:39Woo
09:40Well I'm just gonna give it a go
09:41I just wanna give it a tone and not touch any of this stuff
09:46No that's not gonna work okay
09:48Well that was shit
09:50No okay
09:51Do I have to get that Paul?
09:52Ideally
09:53Oh shit
09:54I'm gonna make like a tunnel and then just whip it
10:00Paul
10:01If ever my ass doesn't look good you tell me okay
10:04Okay
10:12This is what tradies must feel like on the job
10:14Yeah
10:15Hard days work
10:16You've been going for about seven minutes
10:18Okay what do you reckon?
10:19That looks pretty good
10:20I could have a practice right now
10:21Yes
10:22This a practice?
10:27Oh shit
10:28You little shit
10:29What am I missing?
10:34On that time you missed the tower
10:44Well that wasn't good was it?
10:50There's quite a lot of wall touches
10:51Yeah okay cool
10:52Great we'll do one
10:53What's the phrase?
10:54What's the phrase?
10:55Let the good times roll!
10:59That's one
11:00That's two
11:01That's three
11:02That's four
11:03That's one
11:04That's six
11:05Let the good times roll
11:06Okay so task number one
11:19How many tasks are we going to expect you to be starting with the words let's give this a home?
11:26I'm afraid too many
11:28I can't tell you how confident I was going into this and how already that confidence is shattered
11:38Wow
11:39Bri, seven minutes doing a task and you're talking about a hard day's work
11:44I've got asthma but I was genuinely puffed and I was like how can I stop from running as many times and I just thought make it more narrow and hopefully get more bounces obviously planned in turn out
11:56You know that's life
11:58That's actually beautiful
11:59Yeah thank you
12:00I like that
12:01That's an inspiration to all kids out there with asthma
12:04Yeah
12:05So Bri obviously built walls
12:08Thoughts on that?
12:09I think that's fine
12:10Okay
12:11I felt like that was okay
12:12So just to clarify Paul how many wall touches have we got for Alice and Bri?
12:16Uh Bri, four
12:18Four?
12:19Alice?
12:20Yes
12:21Are you sure?
12:22Yes
12:23Fair enough
12:26Wow
12:27Back down quickly there
12:29Alice, eight
12:30Oh wow
12:31Okay
12:32Alright good news it's time for the first ad break of the season
12:36Make sure you savour every moment because after this there's only 39 more to go
12:42See you soon
12:43Welcome back to the season six premiere of Castmaster Museum
13:02Where were we Paul?
13:03Our five contestants are attempting to bounce a ball off some walls as many times as possible before knocking over a toilet paper tower
13:11Up next it's time for a PB&J sandwich
13:15Pax, Ball and Jackie
13:17So you're gonna move the tower?
13:19Yeah
13:20Where are you moving it to?
13:21Don't talk to me right now Paul
13:23I feel like I need probably about 200 more of these
13:26Okay
13:27Is that a possibility?
13:28No
13:29You're not a yes guy
13:30Oh sorry
13:31But I would argue yes I am
13:33So you're building your own walls?
13:35Yeah
13:36My therapist told me that I need to stop building walls
13:38Or else my marriage is destined to fail
13:40So you're still building walls?
13:42Yeah
13:43My marriage
13:44It's going well actually
13:45Okay
13:46We did it recently my wife and I
13:47Did what?
13:48Sex Paul we did sex
13:52Wow
13:58What are you doing?
14:00I'm frozen in panic
14:02Okay how to let the good times
14:03What?
14:04Gotta gotta
14:05Gotta let the good times?
14:07I don't know sayings
14:08I don't know white people sayings
14:09Oh just let the good times roll
14:20Let the good times roll
14:28Got that one
14:30Kind of touching it
14:31Two
14:32Two
14:33Three
14:34Four
14:35Come on you ripper
14:37Bang
14:39There is a rage within me Paul
14:41That is a torrent right now
14:46There is a rage within me Paul
14:47That is a torrent right now
15:00Alice and Bri you must be feeling a lot better about your attempts now
15:02better about your attempts now oh my god i feel so smug my marriage has gotten worse since then
15:10i mean pax i know i mean i didn't think that you were smart but i didn't think you're that stupid
15:16i panicked i didn't think i didn't think it through i was i was thinking about
15:20sex and my wife it distracted me my memory is so shot that i just watching that now i was like
15:26this is going so well i was like oh my god i could be the winner and i'd forgotten that
15:30it didn't get any of the toilet paper wrong that was like a live experience for me just
15:35that was heartbreaking the good news for everybody is there's one more attempt oh yeah
15:41all he has to do is knock over the tower for a podium finish it's jack ansett
15:48hi mum is your mum going to watch this no she hates this show
16:01is that the no vaping sign
16:05where's that ball oh god where did i put the ball have you hidden the ball
16:16where's the ball oh no i've lost the ball no i've lost the ball you've got five minutes
16:24this is part of it this is your little these are your little tricks you've hidden it
16:28where would they have hidden the ball you where is the ball hey hey hey where's the ball
16:35three hundred dollars you got 93 seconds 93
16:42i will reimburse this that might damage someone's drink bottle these people don't care i offer that
16:47that guy three hundred dollars they honestly couldn't care less you might want to get out of the way paul
16:52let the good times rule
17:17you talk to the ball i looked there he did not he did not hey jeremy what were you saying about me
17:24being not that bright i have been thinking about this so much whether you took the ball or whether
17:30you didn't take the ball i looked everywhere i looked in the bushes i look i think it's clear there's
17:36one place you didn't look yeah i will also say um zane our crew members drink bottle costs 79.90
17:43oh no jack never reimburse yeah so this is pretty clear to me jack gets zero because he didn't even
17:52roll a ball the fact that jackie and pax didn't knock over the tower but i hit the i hit those concrete
17:58walls well jackie also did hit the tower she hit the tower but it didn't knock over so i think pax should
18:05get one okay i think jackie should probably get two okay happy with that and then we go up a lot
18:12to brie who should get four yep and then i think it's fair to say that alice should definitely get
18:18five wow wow that makes sense so paul where does that leave the points for this episode so far
18:28out in front with nine points alice snedden
18:34let's get to the next task let me address the elephant in the room and stop beating around the
18:38bush once in a blue moon a task comes along that is truly not a piece of cake will our contestants hit
18:44the ground running pass with flying colors and end up on cloud nine or will they drop the ball bark
18:49up the wrong tree shoot themselves in the foot throw the towel in and watch five points go up in smoke
18:53here it is hey paul hello alice paul hello brie oh dear this is a mess oh no don't get upset
19:13okay here we go film an origin story for your favorite idiom you have 40 minutes your time
19:28starts now idiom what is an idiom like a saying like don't go crying over spilt milk are there any
19:36that you use a lot kick it in the dick have you heard of that one no can you just type in like
19:41examples of idioms please okay break a leg beat around the bush cut somebody some slack cutting
19:48corners just slow down easy does it you could have said easy doesn't none of these are working for me
19:55okay i want you to google random idiom generator okay generate me a random idiom that's the one we're doing
20:02go lee market
20:10i was interested that two contestants first instincts when they see spilt milk on a table was to table suck
20:18and i'm lactose intolerant yeah also also that was pva glue i was quite relieved
20:30i'm ready for some idiom origins paul who is going to start us off alice in the hand is worth sneddon the
20:39bush it's alice sneddon
20:45all right lads big day today okay you know we're t-minus 15 seconds away from launch here we go
20:50there's a problem what williams houston we have a problem williams speak to me i'm sorry sir i'm
20:59really struggling here i just can't get my sock on well get it on now what's wrong come on hurry up
21:05i know it sounds crazy but it's really hard like i'm not very flexible and i'm like lying in my back and
21:10i'm all strapped in we're t-minus five seconds it's really tough damn it boy it's not rocket science
21:20it's true
21:20so you lost paul in an unfortunate incident and then your first thought was i'm going on smoko
21:44yeah i was smoking the whole time but back in the day at nasa they they encouraged that yeah because
21:49smoking actually helped you fly yeah interesting bit for me was you had issues with your sock but
21:55i couldn't get my sock on you already seemed to have a sock on yes that is correct i mean that was
22:00mainly i just didn't want um people to see my feet yeah that that was a creative difference that paul and
22:05i had i really wanted him to get his feet out and um he declined uh currently on wiki feet my feet are at
22:12a 3.5 so if you're at home if you could help get those numbers up i can think of one way mate that
22:19you would have really driven that score up okay who's idiom we're gonna see next she has an amazing
22:24bird's kill to stone's throne ratio it's jackie van beek
22:32hello barry oh hi cheryl what's this poor sod done then well you know technically nothing but you know
22:39i've just got so much frustration because basically i'm addicted to killing and i can't sleep unless i kill
22:46somebody i've not slept in a week but it's not fair like what if he's done nothing that's just a poor
22:51innocent bloke yeah but you're not hearing me i can't sleep yeah i'm hearing you i'll tell you what
22:57i want you to stop killing people stop killing innocents and i want you to give my sack a nice
23:02big hit you want me to hit the sack yeah three times that's it how do you feel
23:13oh my gosh he's fallen asleep look at this would you i think you're gonna be free i think everything's
23:20gonna be okay oh okay and that my friends is the origin story of hit the sack thank you
23:33very good jackie
23:36really good beautiful some fascinating character development there just give us the origin stories
23:42of is it barry and cheryl yes is that right yeah so cheryl was an old wise hag that lived in the
23:49woodlands and barry was a very aggressive executioner i feel like there was chemistry there
23:56i think so too yeah i felt i felt like paul fell asleep in quite a horny way wow
24:04i was disappointed at the end that cheryl broke the fourth wall because oh how obvious did you need
24:09to make it it's it's education it's educational so of course the audience need it as i'm doing
24:14right now you know you speak to them there's a rapport so it's like we put on a brilliant piece
24:19of cinema but we also educate it's a relationship we've got three more origin stories to go but first
24:26it's time to watch the origin stories of some excellent goods and services we'll see you after
24:46welcome back to taskmaster the only show on television brave enough to show paul williams
24:50burning to death our contestants are showing us the origin stories of idioms up next proving that
24:59the apple doesn't fall far from the brie it's brie thomas l
25:05come on tenzing we've done it the summit of everest and look i just got 10 000 steps
25:13congrats only one thing left to do
25:19yes tenzing i've done it my greatest achievement ever yes let's go you kicked me in the dick
25:31you're right you're right tenzing i indeed kicked it in the dick me sir edmund hillary dick kicker
25:43first thing i'd like to say what a beautiful tribute to the great sir edmund hillary and the
25:50great tenzing norgay the first thing i did and i'm not joking is uh got back to the room and googled
25:56whether sir edmund was dead or not because i was so worried about him seeing it
26:02did she actually kick you in the private parts it was good acting it was a bit of movie magic okay yeah
26:07he shoved a pillow down his pants oh so you committed to that yeah it was a small pillow but
26:12there was a pillow yeah some pretty brave casting i'd say of tenzing there you know i would have
26:19thought that you'd get a nepalese actor for that i can famously do any accent and and people say paul
26:26you can't do a japanese accent and i'm like you don't believe i'm that capable in the cargo accent go
26:34purple
26:40bang on yeah it's actually bang on pretty good it was really good you nailed it whose idiom origin story
26:47are we seeing next paul it's raining packs and dogs it's pax society oh my favorite place in the world
26:54the avondale markets well well well my old nemesis you know that this used to be my table
27:03when i would deal fleas and sell fleas to people the flea industry collapsed why would i ever want
27:08to flee i don't know you want to make your dog thinner you cover it in fleas it'll lose a bunch
27:14of blood and it'll be a thinner sexier dog oh okay yeah i do want my dog to be sexy i'm gonna start
27:22my own market and we're gonna deal in all types of very small insects what are you gonna call this
27:30thing i guess i'm just gonna call it a flea market
27:44that'll make sense by 2003
27:53okay so plenty to unpack there can you explain the glasses uh not really no
27:59i found them on my way to shoot the scene and i put them on i thought they were meant to indicate
28:04that you were a flea yeah they were meant to indicate that i was a flea flea market is not
28:11an idiom we're all ignoring the elephant in the room that's a good idiom i just cursed all of you
28:24okay and all your children it's my daughter's birthday i'm so sorry i can't take it back
28:33so it is technically a noun well you made an incredible film for the origin of a noun yeah
28:41i reckon you'd win if it was that category makes sense we've still got jack to go yes he's a jack of
28:48all trades master of all trades it's jack ansett okay paul i've got an idea let's go for a walk go for
28:57a walk yeah you've only got 26 minutes well hurry up come on okay yeah come on let's go
29:04so do you have an idea an idea yeah yeah i've got an idea paul yeah well we're just enjoying a nice
29:10walk together right now what was that i don't know just the kind of thing friends do okay take a step back
29:18paul wow i really think we should get back on task get back on task yeah okay
29:32let's cool sorry sorry about that yeah
29:50um you're almost out of time to do the the task hey paul look at me slow and steady wins the race
30:10what a twist at the end what a twist so what we had there was a romantic walk you played some golf
30:17you had a shirtless wrestle yes i like that then you had a romantic meal for two yes correct that's
30:24the origin of slow and steady wins the race you don't know that so i did look up the the origin
30:31and it's from a pretty famous race between a tortoise and a hare yeah don't think this was going to go
30:36this way out of interest which way did you see it going everyone would applaud and standing ovation five
30:44points to be honest with you alice so in terms of marking i'm going to give one point to pax it
30:51wasn't even an idiom two points to you jack but for the shirtless wrestling because i thought that was
30:56quite good i did love that yeah great i'll give you three points because unfortunately you besmirched
31:02a national icon four points for jackie great character development there and uh alice that gives
31:07you five points at the end so now it's time for one of my favorite commonly used phrases we'll see
31:16you after the break bye
31:30welcome back to taskmaster if you've just joined us you are late and i'm afraid you're going to have to
31:35stay behind after this episode and help us clean up the studio now it's time for another task paul i believe
31:41it sure is jeremy and this one's a whole lot of fun
31:52oh hello jackie hello hi paul hello brie hello pax
31:57i need a fart don't get this balloon through the hole and into the jar you may not touch the balloon
32:10in any way other than popping it with the pin you may not touch the string or the tissues in any way
32:18other than cutting the tissues with the scissors you may not touch the whole wall the whole wall of
32:25the whole wall in any way gosh so this is the whole wall yeah i'll move i assumed that fastest winds your
32:35time starts now far out this is a bit of fun isn't it what's happening here so it's so it's helium
32:42mm-hmm so it'll go up to the sky if the tissues are lighter
32:49got it
32:55have you got it alice there's quite a lot in this task yeah it's one of the more confusing ones that
32:59we've done balloons gaps through holes a lot going on yeah yeah tissues on the bottom yeah it's also one
33:05i had no idea if it's possible i mean the word that really kind of springs out to me when i
33:12watched re-watch that is fastest that's the word that sticks with me just to say that's beautiful
33:18and it does it does it stick with you in a positive or negative way incredibly positive but just that
33:23word all right shall we see the first one it's the three contestants who don't have jack in their name
33:31brie alice and pax who comes up with this shit paul it's not shit come on is this what you wanted me
33:40down on all fours cutting tissue like this i told you we needed a fire okay come on oh oh no come back to me
34:01it's too heavy again i know paul
34:22yes yes okay
34:25okay went through the hole it's through the hole
34:41oh no oh no what do i do now i think the tissue's got quite heavy yeah no shit paul
34:47no how does science work
34:59if i had a baby this is what i'd sound like
35:12go in the jar
35:17so in the jar no
35:37did anyone actually get the balloon in the jar out of those three no okay alice you you grabbing the jar
35:45was brilliant yeah unfortunately it didn't lead to success yeah because i'm actually quite afraid
35:51of well i don't like loud noises that catch me off guard so um she's not lying sorry i mean it was you
36:03that popped it yeah i got a big fright yeah as i popped it i think i actually moved the jar away
36:10who's attempt that we're going to see next paul in this task the jar is key it's jockey van beek
36:26going to see next time
36:37so
36:39Stop the clock.
36:55Maybe not the most entertaining, but certainly fastest, I would guess.
36:59Clinical. You would describe that as clinical.
37:01You know what I thought? To be entirely honest, I did think,
37:04I bet everyone else's videos are going to be fun and entertaining and crazy and zany.
37:11Mine's going to win.
37:13Mine wasn't any of that anyway, and it's still lost.
37:17I would trade what I did for what you did any day.
37:19I think I've fallen in love with you.
37:22How long did that take, Jackie?
37:23It was very fast. Two minutes and eight seconds.
37:27Wow.
37:29Who have we got left, Paul?
37:30Continuing his trend of always going last, it's Jack Ansett.
37:34Okay.
37:41Oh.
37:43Oh, my God.
37:45Oh!
37:49Wow.
37:50Was that supposed to happen?
37:51Was that supposed to happen?
37:52Was that supposed to pop?
37:54I mean, you were the one doing it.
37:56Oh, it's in the water.
37:57Oh, great.
38:00Look at that.
38:04Hooking.
38:06Hold this while I say come around the corner.
38:09Thanks.
38:10It's amazing how things like this just work out sometimes, though.
38:17Wow.
38:18It's off the clock.
38:19Pretty good.
38:20You're smiling.
38:24It's pretty good.
38:29You seem genuinely surprised that a helium balloon, when you cut the string, goes up to the ceiling.
38:35I was worried for a moment that you were going to lose the balloon.
38:38I genuinely thought, oh, no, he's going to, but no, but you've got it.
38:40No, no, no, just a fight from some fate of the gods that landed in the fishbowl, and voila.
38:47Wow, this is like a make-a-wish.
38:48Okay, so Jackie's time was two minutes and eight seconds.
38:55Incredible.
38:56Jack, one minute forty-nine.
38:58Wow.
38:59Yeah, but still, it's not everything, is it?
39:01Was fastest not the key word?
39:05Vastest wins?
39:06Yeah, fastest wins.
39:07It also, it also, it also, it also, I'm sorry, but can I just say, horrific.
39:14This one's not too hard to judge, to be honest, because I think there's two categories.
39:17There's the people who got the balloon in the jar, and there's the people who didn't.
39:21So, zero points for those guys.
39:24Okay.
39:24Ooh.
39:25Okay, so that's four points for Jackie, and five points for Jack.
39:29Okay.
39:29Wow.
39:31How good does that feel?
39:32You've been there, you've been there.
39:33Yeah.
39:33I have been there.
39:34It feels good.
39:35It feels good.
39:36That is the end of part four.
39:37Come back soon to see which of our comedians will win a pair of old reading glasses and
39:42some 1970s pace bowler memorabilia.
39:45The stakes could not be higher.
39:47We'll see you just after this.
39:48Welcome back to the last bit of the first F of the sixth season of Taskmaster.
40:07Now, we've just got one live task to go, but before we get there, Paul, can I have a scoreboard update, please?
40:14Leading the pack with 14 points, Alice Sneddon.
40:21All right, you guys, if you can please now head up to the stage for your first live task of the season.
40:30All right, Paul, who's going to read out the task?
40:32Paxasadi.
40:34Throw fish into the barrel.
40:36Most fish successfully thrown into the barrel wins.
40:39You have 30 seconds, minus the number of fish you wish to throw.
40:43You may throw the same fish more than once.
40:46You must throw from the spot and must not move the spot or barrel.
40:51Okay, from the top?
40:52I can't understand anything you've just said.
40:54Yeah.
40:55I'm starting to see how you couldn't find the ball.
41:00Please pick up your blackboards, write the amount of fish, and then minus that number from 30, and that's your time.
41:07Oh, no.
41:07So 10 fish, 10 seconds.
41:09No, 10 fish, 20 seconds.
41:1110 fish would be 20 seconds.
41:12Stop it!
41:13Yeah.
41:13Stay in school, kids.
41:15Oh, shit.
41:15So if I'm going four fish, no chips.
41:19No chips.
41:19If I go four fish, no chips, how many seconds?
41:2226 seconds.
41:24On the count of three, reveal your fish.
41:26One, two, three.
41:29I love how Paul's entered angry teacher phase.
41:32We're going to throw an order of the scoreboard.
41:36Everyone except Alice, please take a seat on the bench.
41:39Alice selected 15 fish in 15 seconds.
41:43Begin.
41:4310 seconds.
41:508 seconds.
41:526 seconds.
41:544 seconds.
41:55Oh, no.
41:57Oh, no.
42:00Alice scored two fish.
42:02Up next, Jackie Van Beek.
42:06Are you going to do a backflip?
42:08Yeah.
42:094 fish, 26 seconds.
42:11This is her Olympics.
42:123, 2, 1, fish.
42:17Oh.
42:19I forgot she can run.
42:21No, no, no.
42:23Do I have to come back up here?
42:24You've got to throw from there.
42:25Oh, I didn't know that.
42:26I didn't know that.
42:27No, Jackie.
42:2710 seconds.
42:2810 seconds.
42:317, 6.
42:36Don't get them.
42:37Don't get them.
42:38Don't get them.
42:38Jackie, don't.
42:38Jackie, don't.
42:39Oh.
42:39Jackie scored zero fish.
42:41Up next, Jack Anset.
42:44Yeah.
42:44Five fish, 25 seconds.
42:463, 2, 1, fish.
42:51Oh, for f**k sake.
42:54Yay!
42:57Pop them in, pop them in.
42:58Just pop them in.
42:59Pop them in.
43:00You've got 10 seconds.
43:02Thanks.
43:06Don't panic.
43:07Don't panic.
43:102 seconds.
43:10Yeah, I killed.
43:14Nice chewing.
43:15Nice chewing.
43:16Jack scored 2 fish.
43:17Up next, Bree Tomasel.
43:19Go, Bree.
43:20Bree selected 15 seconds and 15 fish.
43:233, 2, 1, begin.
43:29That's a lot of gusto.
43:30To the left.
43:31To the left.
43:32To the right.
43:34Oh.
43:35Oh.
43:36What?
43:37Oh.
43:383 seconds.
43:40Oh, yeah!
43:41Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
43:43Oh, that was great.
43:44Bree scored 2 fish.
43:46Last up, Pax Asadi.
43:47Pax selected 15 fish in 15 seconds.
43:513, 2, 1, fish.
43:54LeBron!
43:55Oh, no!
43:57Kobe!
43:57Oh, no!
43:59Yes, Pax!
44:06Wow!
44:08What an arsehole!
44:12All right, everyone.
44:13Come on down, and we'll see how that's affected the scores.
44:17All right, Paul, I am ready to find out who won the live task and who won the episode.
44:25Okay, so in terms of fish, Jackie, zero fish.
44:29Alice, Bree, and Jack, all two fish each.
44:31And the winner, with three fish, out of three throws, Pax Asadi.
44:36Incredible.
44:38You can't be stopped.
44:39One point for Jackie.
44:40Okay.
44:41Three points for Jack, Bree, and Alice.
44:44And five points for Pax.
44:45Okay.
44:47Thank you, Charles Master.
44:48Yeah.
44:48Can I get that footage of me throwing fish, by the way?
44:51It's going to go on TV.
44:52Oh, yeah, cool.
44:53Oh, right.
44:54Oh, yeah, sick, sick, sick.
44:55That means the winner of episode one, with 17 points, is Alice Sneddon.
45:03Congratulations, Alice.
45:05Please head up to the stage and enjoy your newfound street credentials.
45:10We are already 10% through the series.
45:13But what have we learned from episode one?
45:16Well, we learned that Alice Sneddon is one better than Barack Obama.
45:19If you can't find a ball, then we haven't hidden it.
45:22Most importantly, we've learned that the winner of episode one is Alice Sneddon.
45:29Mate wa.
45:30We'll see you next time.
45:31You cannot get through this without crying.
45:54Oh, g'day, guys.
45:55G'day, Paul.
45:56How's this?
45:57I miss my kids.
45:57I'm so sorry about what I meant to say.
Be the first to comment