- 4 months ago
Taskmaster NZ S06E06
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😹
FunTranscript
00:00Oh
00:30Welcome to Taskmaster. My name is Jeremy Wells and earlier this year in a secret conclave
00:41I was selected to be the leader of the Roman Catholic Church. However, I traded that position in to become something far more powerful
00:49And now I am the Taskmaster
00:55Joining me tonight are my faithful Cardinals, Alice Sneddon
01:00Bree Thomas L
01:02Jack Anset
01:04Jackie VanVeet
01:06And Pax Asadi
01:10And by my side, as always, is a man who lives his life in the fast lane
01:15Except at the Glenfield Leisure Centre swimming pool
01:18Who is asked to move to the slow lane
01:21It's Paul Williams
01:25Before we get started tonight, I wanted to read a poem
01:28Would that be okay?
01:30Yeah, absolutely
01:39It's really beautiful
01:42Should we get into the prize task?
01:44Sure thing, Jeremy
01:45Tonight we've asked our contestants to bring in the best thing to snap
01:51Pax Asadi, what did you bring in?
01:53I'm just gonna show you
01:56Oh
01:58Chock thins. They snap on multiple levels
02:00They're thin, so they're very easy to snap
02:02And they make a very satisfying noise when they snap
02:05Second level is that this is my favourite biscuit
02:09So they also snap my will to eat healthy
02:15How long's the packet been open?
02:18That has been in my cupboard for a while
02:20I don't think it would be a snap
02:22No, it wouldn't
02:23That has been opened recently
02:24Oh, so now you know when it was opened
02:27Alice, what did you bring in?
02:29Physical things to snap are exciting
02:31But there's nothing more exciting than sort of an emotional snap
02:36And as a child, what I discovered is that
02:39The ability to provoke a reaction out of one of your siblings
02:42Is bar none the best experience
02:46So I've brought in my sister
02:50Beautiful
02:51Yeah, she doesn't look it but she's a real bitch
02:55Just so you understand the prize task
02:58Your sister is going home with someone tonight who wins the episode
03:01Not only is she going home with someone tonight
03:03But I will tell that person all of her deepest vulnerabilities
03:08Brie, what did you bring in?
03:10Deep down, I'm a country girl at heart
03:13Through and through
03:14Which is why I know the best thing to snap is this
03:19Oh!
03:21Wow!
03:27Do we snap a whip or do we crack a whip?
03:30We crack a whip
03:32Paul, I'd love you to look up the definition of snap
03:35A break suddenly and completely
03:38Typically with a sharp cracking sound
03:43Not bad, not bad
03:45Jackie, what did you bring in?
03:46I realised that by episode six
03:48Everyone would have been becoming very kind of snappy
03:51And kind of mean-spirited
03:53So I have chosen
03:55It's a snap and heat hand warmer that gives you a feeling of warmth that goes from your palm up your arm across kind of here down around your left breast into your heart and just makes you think I'm so lucky to be here with you guys and not snapping at each other and just feeling like I snapped that but now I've got a feeling of warmth in my heart
04:15I feel it
04:16And what does it do to your breast?
04:18Okay, yeah
04:19Can I just say one last word? I just want to give one last word
04:23One word
04:25Positivity
04:28That was the best ending you've had so far, I've got to say
04:31At least it ended
04:32Thank you Jeremy
04:33Jack, what did you bring in?
04:34I think the best thing to snap is these guys
04:38So, using a $250 disguise
04:45I snapped photos of all of these guys without them realising
04:49Here is me next to Alice coming back from the airport
04:55I will not sign a release
04:59Here is me at Pax's comedy show
05:03Did you remember that?
05:04I genuinely remember looking at you thinking
05:09Guy looks weird
05:11Here is me seeing Jackie on a walk with her husband up Mount Eden
05:16And I said to him after we passed you, I was like, whoa
05:20And Jessie was like, what?
05:21And I said, the dude with the beard
05:25The next photo is outside Bree's radio station
05:31How creepy is that?
05:32Wow
05:35This is going to be easy
05:36Pax, one
05:37Because you just bought a pack of biscuits in
05:40Yeah, I knew it
05:41Jackie, two
05:42Because you swung by Costco again on the way here
05:45Three for Alice
05:46I understand what that's like to make a sibling snap
05:49That's quite a good feeling
05:51Bree, cracking the whip
05:52That's quite sexy
05:53I'll give you four
05:54And five for Jack
05:55Because that's very good
05:57That feels good
06:00Feels good
06:01Okay, I really am ready for another task
06:03What have we got?
06:04Ding dong
06:05Did anyone order a task?
06:06Well, here you go
06:15Hi Paul
06:16Hello Jackie
06:17Great to see you again
06:18Hi Paul
06:19Hey
06:20Hey Paul
06:21Oh, lunch
06:22You shouldn't have
06:23Sorry
06:26Deliver this burger to the caravan
06:28Easy
06:29Fastest wins
06:30No problem
06:31You may not throw
06:32Or disrespect the burger
06:34Disrespect the burger?
06:37Don't laugh, that's disrespecting the burger
06:39I'm so sorry
06:40Every time you wish to take a step with the burger
06:42You must first complete one of the 50 steps on Paul's scroll
06:47What scroll?
06:48Oh, that scroll
06:49You may choose which numbered step from the scroll you wish to complete
06:54You may not look at Paul's scroll
06:56Don't look at it
06:57Oh, so I can't even look at it like there?
06:59I'd prefer it if you didn't
07:00Your time starts now
07:03Alright, who's leading the charge with this one Paul?
07:09Stepping up to the plate first, it's Bree and Alice
07:12Number eight
07:13Spin around five times without falling over
07:15Thirteen
07:16Do heads, shoulders, knees and toes
07:19Oh shit Paul
07:20I do the song wrong
07:22Heads and shoulders, knees and toes, we all got hands together
07:29Was that two steps?
07:30That was one
07:31That was one
07:32You stepped with that foot and then you stepped with that foot
07:34I don't believe that to be true
07:35Number six
07:36Say your name backwards
07:37Eerie
07:39Number twelve
07:40Touch two things that rhyme
07:41Red head
07:42Number one
07:43Smile
07:45Fifteen
07:46Balance something on your finger while reciting a nursery rhyme
07:49Mary had a little lamest resource white as snow
07:52Wow
07:53Seventh
07:54Recreate a famous painting using only your body
07:58Twenty-two
07:59Draw yourself riding your favourite animal
08:02That's a huge pig
08:04Number two please
08:05Whisper your middle name ten times
08:07Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie
08:09Thirty-four
08:10Bury an item and give it a moving eulogy
08:13What's that?
08:14It's your pen
08:15Hey
08:16Touch two things that rhyme
08:19Badge
08:21Forty
08:22Balance four stones on top of each other
08:25What?
08:28Okay
08:30It's balanced
08:31Hold on, I haven't even moved the burger once
08:34Yeah
08:35What?
08:37Two
08:38Sing your favourite vegetable
08:39Asparagus
08:42Four
08:43Four
08:44Sit down and then stand up
08:48Tuck
08:49Stop the clock
08:50Thanks Paul
08:51I think there was a few things I could have done better
08:53Like what?
08:55The start, the middle, and the end
08:59Alice
09:00You weren't paying a lot of attention to the task
09:02Because there was that point where you'd forgotten to move the burger
09:06With all due respect to the burger I thought
09:09I'll let you have a little rest
09:12You take it easy for a bit
09:14I'll get the work done
09:15And then I'll bring you up to speed as and when needed
09:19Brie, heads, shoulders, knees and toes
09:21What did you do?
09:22Can you do it?
09:23What was it?
09:24Heads and shoulders, knees and toes
09:26Knees and toes, knees and toes
09:27Heads and shoulders, knees and toes
09:29We all clap hands together
09:31It's in my brain, I can't get rid of it
09:33Is that cause in regional Queensland you have extra knees and toes?
09:37Let's talk times
09:39Alice, 12 minutes and 8 seconds
09:41She completed 14 steps
09:43Rie, 6 minutes and 9 seconds
09:45Wow
09:46She did 11 steps
09:47Okay
09:48This is a great opportunity for us all to get our 10,000 steps in
09:51Why don't you wander around the living room while the ads are playing
09:54And we'll see you after a couple of minutes
10:10Welcome back to Taskmaster
10:11What's going on Paul?
10:12Our contestants are delivering burgers to the caravan
10:15Up next, Dubois
10:17Delivering
10:18A boiga
10:2148
10:22Find three gnomes in the forest
10:24Oh, what?
10:2627
10:27Perform a one minute Shakespearean monologue about sandwiches
10:30Oh, sandwich
10:32Oh
10:33Your lettuce
10:34Mmm
10:35You want that Romeo?
10:36Get that down ya, ya dog
10:39Thank you
10:41Okay
10:4250
10:43Head to the forest on the far side of the lake
10:45And find the lost treasure of the Esperanza
10:47All the way down there?
10:48Are you serious?
10:4932
10:50Make a paper airplane and fly it over the caravan long ways
10:54You've made many paper planes before?
10:56I think this is my third one in my entire life
10:59Wow
11:03Oh, I found an X
11:04Is that it?
11:05Yeah
11:06All for that
11:07The rubber duck egg
11:08I'm gonna YouTube
11:09Really
11:10Good
11:11Paper airplane
11:13He has quite nice hands
11:15Beautiful hands
11:16Like just the right amount of hair
11:1812
11:19I'll go with 12
11:20Touch two things that rhyme
11:21Ass
11:22Grass
11:23Look at this, bro
11:24Honestly, it feels like we're in Top Gear now
11:26Are you Tom Cruise?
11:27Is he on Top Gear?
11:28Top Gear
11:29You mean Top Gun
11:30What's Top Gun?
11:3130
11:32Sing a one minute ballad about one of the other contestants
11:34Jackie Van Big
11:36You are so sleek
11:38Number 49
11:48Float a marble on the lake for one minute
11:504
11:51Sit down and then stand up
11:53It's going in there
11:5412
11:55Touch two things that rhyme
11:56Grass
11:57And
11:58Do I have consent to touch your ass?
11:59Sure
12:00Ass
12:01I ask for consent
12:02You could also just do your own
12:03Stop the clock
12:04Time
12:05Thank you Paul
12:06I'll be in here
12:07Doing my burger
12:08Thank you Paul
12:09Thank you Paul
12:10I'll be in here
12:11Doing my burger
12:13stop the clock
12:18time
12:23thank you paul
12:24i'll be in here
12:25doing my burger
12:26pax do you regret doing the ass touching
12:37you straight to the camera operator's ass
12:39that cameraman head
12:40badonkadonk
12:41it seemed to me that the tasks were getting more and more difficult
12:49the tasks were ranked uh in difficulties
12:52why did you say that
12:54it was implied
12:57so one being easiest 50 being the hardest and these guys liked quite high numbers
13:01yeah that would explain why i went to the lake two times
13:06so which shakespearean character was it that said um you like that
13:10romeo get it down you you dog
13:13background peasant 10
13:17obviously
13:19i think we need some stats paul
13:22so brie was the fastest so far with six minutes and nine seconds
13:26jack 21 minutes and six seconds
13:28and packs 36 minutes and 28 seconds
13:32we spent a lot of time on that paper played youtube video
13:35right we've got one delivery left paul
13:38yes jeremy let's take a peek at the sleek van beek
13:41okay
13:43that's disrespectful
13:46not to the burger
13:4727
13:47perform a one minute shakespearean monologue about sandwiches
13:51for sooth whereeth my bread
13:54hark there it is in the river near ophelia
13:57i dive
13:58i dive in and capture her
14:01i'm tumbling down the river
14:03tumbling down
14:04that's a minute
14:05good okay i'm ready
14:07jackie you're back here
14:08no i'm not
14:09that's what the flag is for
14:10god okay
14:12are you disrespecting the burger
14:16certainly not
14:18so these aren't steps
14:20i feel like i'm not even touching the steps
14:22is that a step
14:23no
14:23is that a step
14:26no paul
14:27none of these things are steps
14:29oh god
14:32delivered
14:34did jackie disrespect the burger paul
14:42i don't think so
14:43she was holding it
14:43she didn't
14:44she didn't crush it at any point
14:45yeah
14:46didn't seem to disrespect it
14:47i didn't have any ill will towards it
14:49have some balls man
14:51come on
14:52how many steps did she take
14:54well she only did one step
14:56it was a shakespeare monologue
14:57and it was pretty good
14:58thank you
14:59yeah
14:59jackie was four minutes and one second
15:01to deliver the burger
15:02okay so where does that leave the points then paul
15:05do we accept jackie's
15:06oh absolutely
15:06okay
15:07that means
15:08one point for pax
15:09two points for jack
15:10three points for alice
15:11four points for brie
15:12and five points for jackie van beek
15:14i feel like it's a good time to have a look at the scoreboard for the episode
15:21it's pretty tight apart from pax who's on two points
15:25in first place with eight points
15:28brie thomas al
15:29that was a bad guy
15:31again
15:32so we are now past the halfway point in the series
15:36i think it'd be a good time to have a series score update
15:39leading the pack with 89 points brie thomas al
15:42amazing
15:46okay paul
15:48what's the next task
15:49in this task the aim of the game is to aim
15:52paul
16:03paul
16:05oh
16:11oh jeez
16:13oh
16:15you're insane
16:17you poke someone's eye out
16:18you've got glasses on
16:19i said someone's
16:20oh
16:21oh
16:24what have we got here
16:26demonstrate exceptional aim
16:29best demonstration of aim wins
16:31you may choose which attempt to submit
16:34you have 30 minutes
16:35your time starts now
16:36so i can choose what to aim for
16:38and what to aim with
16:39yes
16:40have i got access to a gun
16:41no
16:42do we have a crossbow
16:44i don't think we have a crossbow
16:46a ball
16:46okay
16:47should we go look for balls
16:49yeah
16:49okay
16:50let's go look for balls
16:51you found yours yet
16:52i'm interested ella
16:57so if we did have a gun on site
17:00yeah
17:00what was your plan
17:01have paul
17:02uh stand under a tree
17:04with an apple on top of his head
17:06and i'd just give it my best
17:08one of those
17:10all right paul
17:11which eagle eye contestants
17:13are we gonna see first
17:14two athletes at the top of their game
17:16it's jackie and alice
17:18we'll just warm up for a few
17:20punished
17:23i have set out five cones
17:26one throw from each cone
17:29watch out
17:32number one
17:33oh god
17:35that's gone for four
17:40into the river
17:40i will now illustrate
17:42my incredible aim
17:43yes
17:47oh that's caught
17:50okay
17:51you come stand here
17:52yes
17:55so that's two of two
17:57number three
18:00are you ready paul
18:01yes
18:02okay i need you to do
18:02one long note for me
18:04yes
18:08i think pitch that up a little bit
18:10do it
18:12are you ready paul
18:15fantastic
18:19in front of the wicket paul
18:21actually let's start without the bat
18:22do that
18:26good enough
18:27let's go again
18:28you can hold the bat this time
18:29left handed
18:30that was two in a row
18:31for five of five
18:33five of five
18:35five of five
18:40i don't think it was five of five
18:41please don't do that
18:43blow that
18:46three in a row
18:48do you want a bowl
18:51maybe one
18:52okay
18:52she really got a hold of that
19:01it's too short paul
19:02don't bounce her with the first delivery
19:04what do you think
19:04pitch it up
19:05jackie you seem surprised that paul questioned your assessment of five out of five
19:16considering that your main way of getting the duck off his head was to hit him in the face
19:20i think it was five of five was it was five out of fifteen
19:24so in terms of you alice
19:27yeah
19:28just looking at the way that you came in you got nice and side on i could see the scene was upright
19:32not only was the line good that length was outstanding very tidy
19:36and i couldn't disagree with anything you say
19:39can i just say sorry because i'm getting a vibe that you might be a cricket fanatic
19:45and not so much a kind of duck archery fanatic
19:47but there's a lot of like terminology i don't understand
19:51all right i'd like to see a few more tosses if that's okay paul
19:54yes
19:54two more tosses
19:55it's brie and pax
19:57attempt number one
19:59success
20:01oh paul
20:04oh
20:05we can do better
20:07so sorry paul i just have to commit
20:13go and end up paul
20:19get some
20:20that's two in a row do you want to see if you can get a third
20:23oh so sorry
20:26i should try a golf ball because that's even more impressive because it's small
20:30can you stop flinching it's putting me off sorry
20:39can you stop flinching it's putting me off sorry
20:50the pinnacle of tv
20:56that's it
20:59that was so close all right here we go
21:09are you joking did that go in yep
21:20yes paul
21:21straight down the pipe
21:23well why did you have a hat and glasses on for jackie's
21:35cars but not with what pax was doing to you
21:39well jackie put those on me for protection i protected paul
21:43why did he need to be there with that thing in his mouth i don't know man i want to say that the hole of the cone was only like two to one and a half centimeters bigger than the ball
21:57you designed the task
21:58yeah you're such a smart man i think we need some stats paul
22:04so pax threw 124 throws jeez a few a few of which hit me in the head
22:09three only 38 attempts four of which went into the bath
22:13yeah good arm by the way i don't know about the dancing but the arm was good
22:18all right well we'll make a base camp here and aim for the summit of this task on the other side of this ad break we'll see you in a tick
22:28no more welcome back to taskmaster we're currently finding out which of our contestants
22:44has the best aim and so far half of them seem to be aiming for paul's face
22:49who have we got next paul he aims to please it's jack ansett
22:53do you have good aim no awful the aim isn't just
22:58aiming for something is it you know you could have an aim to like inspire youth
23:02how would you inspire youth we could go to the local primary school and i could do a
23:07motivational chat in their classroom there is a school
23:11yeah but i'm not sure if we'd be allowed to film in it
23:14might be able to get you near it yeah why not
23:17believe you can and you're halfway there nothing is impossible the word itself says i'm possible
23:40what does that mean though it means that don't say things are impossible because the word impossible
23:47has i'm possible in it but that doesn't make sense i am possible live laugh love
23:52that's what my mum goes by it's good to be good and awful to be awful
23:57okay well i think i've inspired the youth of tomorrow
24:00well let's get out of here before the police show up
24:03okay so you read some motivational quotes to a fence
24:10yeah we did not film them but there were children looking through the classroom window
24:16going there he is there he is yeah and i think they heard me as someone who was there no no
24:23i don't think they could hear him but they they did see him
24:28one point for jack oh talking to a fence
24:30the crowd is turning on you
24:33two points for jackie for chucking stuff at your face
24:40three points for pax for chucking stuff at your face
24:43four points for brie because that's a good arm
24:46and you gotta say alice ned and tidy line and link
24:49you got another task for us paul
24:52i do jeremy and this task is novel if you get my gist
24:57hi paul
25:07hello jackie
25:08hi paul
25:08hello pax
25:09give it a hoon hey paul
25:14get the gist of this book and then adapt it for the screen
25:18you have two minutes to get the gist
25:20one hour to film your adaptation
25:23most faithful adaptation wins your time starts now
25:26the scarlet pimpernel
25:28what's a pimpernel like a pimple
25:30paris 1792
25:33fisherman fisherman
25:35secret orchard
25:36that's a good key word here vengeance
25:38okay how does it end
25:40so it ends in a wedding
25:41might be a wedding on a yacht paul
25:43at lord grenville's ball
25:45what did you learn it's something it's some kind of french revolution thing and her first name's scarlet
25:58okay and her last name's what's the book called can't say pimpernel i don't know what a pimpernel is but i took from that pimple
26:09have you seen the film i saw it when i was a teenager and uh it was a sleepover i was really trying to impress this this girl that i quite liked
26:18she was a nine-year-old maori girl sporty okay maybe she's sunburned or something and that's why she's scarlet
26:26yeah okay is it possible to go black and white except for her face yes
26:31well schindler's list it
26:32okay so none of us have read the scarlet pimpernel the scarlet pimpernel is that what it's called
26:42yes
26:42oh that's a bad start
26:44so just a little bit of background uh the scarlet pimpernel is a man who leads a double life
26:51one as a useless english nobleman
26:53and the other as a hero who rescues french aristocrats
26:57from the guillotine during the reign of terror this is gonna be real interesting okay paul who are we
27:03gonna see first up first it's jacques ansett
27:07oh
27:08ah just another day in my secret orchard
27:13ah what a
27:14is that
27:19my beloved
27:22and that is
27:24the fisherman she will regret this for the rest of her days
27:29i lord grenville invite you to the pharisean ball
27:37pretty crazy uh day we had in the orchard the other day
27:47yeah we yeah we yeah you're me yeah i see it yeah oh my esteemed guests
27:53welcome
27:56there's nothing fishy going on here nothing fishy at all going on here
28:02i saw you in the secret orchard
28:05what
28:05with him
28:06i'm going to react badly now
28:09no
28:09vengeance so sweet
28:24why you do that
28:26are you alright
28:27hey
28:29that's my ick
28:31red noses
28:33see ya
28:35he's never going to want you ever again the fisherman i forever now brand you with the name
28:40the scarlet pimple now
28:43we'll see
28:44we'll see
28:45au revoir
28:50credit where credit's due strong performance from the main french character played by you
29:01thank you yeah i'm not going to say even i know what was going on
29:05i think it was pretty bloody good in fairness to you i'm almost too afraid to criticize it
29:11because i can't remember what i did
29:13who's up next paul
29:15here's a silent movie from alice snedden
29:17who's up next to you
29:40Oh, my God.
30:10So, I've written down, there's a sunburnt woman who everyone laughs at, she finds a man to hook up with, she doesn't give him a book, so he calls her a sluzzer, he apologises and she promises to obey him for the rest of her life.
30:38No, I think obviously there's more nuance to it than that. We have loyalty through the betrayal, that theme is represented, we have romance, you know, love, the road to love is rough.
30:50So what did that have to do with the French Revolution?
30:54Oh, it's all just set during it.
30:58We're going to pause right there so that you at home could envision what your life would be like with a brand new car or some heavily discounted furniture.
31:05Hopefully these ads will help you with that and we'll see you on the other side.
31:08Welcome back to Taskmaster, the only show brave enough to ask the question, what is a Pimpernel?
31:28Remind us, what task are we in the middle of, Paul?
31:31Our contestants have been given two minutes to get the gist of a novel, The Scarlet Pimpernel, and then adapt it for the screen.
31:38Now let's get back to Paris with Parisis, with Pa, with Parisa, Paxasati.
31:45I don't want to torture you, you know that, right?
31:50Then don't torture me.
31:51I have to, because I'm British.
31:54I will never join the British.
31:56Also, why is your daughter here?
31:58It's weird for her to be here while I'm torturing you.
32:01She goes everywhere with me.
32:03Papa.
32:05Alright.
32:06What's that over there?
32:07What, what is it?
32:11Oh, blimey.
32:14Papa, we got away.
32:15Yes, we did.
32:16What do we do now?
32:18What we were born to do.
32:20Be French.
32:40It's so fun being French.
32:43I call ya.
32:45There's only one thing left for us to do.
32:48Baguette fight.
32:49Alright, you're on.
32:51Baguette fight it is.
32:52Hongda!
32:56Stop.
32:57Hold on.
32:57Stop this.
32:59What?
32:59I have to tell you something.
33:00I have to tell you something.
33:00What is it?
33:03I'm in love with your daughter.
33:04Oh my God, you're in love with my daughter.
33:07That's right.
33:08Let's go.
33:10Should we take your father?
33:12No.
33:12Alright.
33:13Alright.
33:13He seems weird anyway.
33:15He seems weird anyway.
33:16He's a swan's man.
33:22Some of the most French things that you could think of doing was to look at the Eiffel Tower,
33:26to smoke cigarettes, and then to eat pasta, Italian food.
33:29A journey through Europe.
33:32Aren't the dogs that kiss French?
33:35No.
33:36I've never had an audience yell, no.
33:40Aren't they your daughter that you're lady in the tramping with?
33:44Yeah, they're French.
33:46They love incest.
33:49Who's up next, Paul?
33:50Representing the French region of Brie, it's Brie.
33:56Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join these two people in holy matrimony.
34:02Alright, I guess we'll do this soon.
34:05Someone's got a poop-a-nickel on the deck.
34:09It's finally got a reddish tinge to it.
34:11Like they've been drinking a lot of beetroot juice.
34:13And I know Lady Blackney's been on a five-day cleanse.
34:17What?
34:19That's...
34:19That's crazy.
34:21Lady Blackney.
34:22How dare you?
34:23Is this true?
34:24Fine.
34:26It was I.
34:27I decided to ruin this wedding by...
34:30defecating on the deck.
34:32I told you why we can't get married.
34:34We're related.
34:36It'd be weird and shit.
34:38I knew you'd say that.
34:39And so I've been researching our family tree.
34:42It turns out we are all cousins.
34:45What?
34:46Everybody on this boat.
34:48I guess if you guys are cool with it, I'm happy to have a family reunion.
34:52You know what I mean?
34:54Not really.
34:55Like we just make it a cousin three-way.
34:58Colour me interested.
35:00I'm keen.
35:00You keen for that?
35:01Yeah.
35:01I mean if you...
35:03Alright, come on you big bitch.
35:04Let's go.
35:05Just three?
35:05Okay.
35:06Come on Lady Blackney.
35:07The Scarlet Pimpernel.
35:17Okay Bree, so according to you, the Scarlet Pimpernel was set on a boat in Bermuda in the early 1900s.
35:24Like Alice was saying, there was loyalty.
35:27Please don't drag me into this.
35:30Romance?
35:31There was definitely romance.
35:32Well the romance was a cousin on cousin orgy.
35:34Yeah.
35:36And there would be people watching right now that are sitting next to their cousin saying, wow.
35:43What they'd be saying according to you is, come on you big bitch, let's go.
35:46Okay, who's our last Pimpernel?
35:54She's our only contestant who has some existing knowledge of the Scarlet Pimpernel.
35:59It's Jackie Van Beek.
36:00My favourite place in the world.
36:02Video easy Johnsonville, Randy.
36:05I love it as well.
36:06What about this one?
36:08Oh, it's called the Scarlet Pimpernel.
36:10It's about the French people and then, oh there's a marriage.
36:14Oh, I love romances.
36:16Do you like romances, Randy?
36:18I love romance.
36:19Oh, this sounds amazing.
36:21Oh my gosh, can you feel it?
36:23It's shaking.
36:24Don't lose your grip.
36:26I can't hold on, Jackie.
36:27But you're sporty.
36:29Oh my gosh.
36:38We seem to be in another time and place.
36:39Oh, it's freezing.
36:41Saying this doesn't really make sense though because, I mean, I thought we were meant to
36:44be in France.
36:45Oh, God.
36:46Oh.
36:48I think we've got to go.
36:49Wait.
36:49The book.
36:50Yes.
36:50What?
36:50The DVD, the VHS.
36:52VHS.
36:55Go.
36:55Get it.
36:56Oh, God.
36:56It's got it.
36:57It's got it.
37:01Randy.
37:03Randy.
37:04Randy.
37:06Wait a minute.
37:06You're not Randy.
37:07Bonjour, mademoiselle.
37:09I am the Scarlet Pimpernel.
37:11But I'm looking for Randy, my friend from Johnsonville from 1984.
37:14I do not know what you're talking about.
37:16All I know is we have to go to the ball now.
37:18Why would I go to the ball with you though, Scarlet Pimpernel?
37:21Because I love you.
37:22Oh my God.
37:23And I want to marry you.
37:24Oh no, but my heart's with Randy.
37:26I do not care about this.
37:27All I care about is you.
37:29My heart's with Randy.
37:30I've just got to find a way to get back to Johnsonville.
37:32So see you later, buster.
37:34Au revoir.
37:34Au revoir.
37:35Au revoir.
37:36No, how will I get back to Johnsonville?
37:43What an ending.
37:48Thanks where it ends.
37:50What an ending.
37:51Okay, I've got a couple of questions.
37:53Where did you go in the, where was the intermediate place with the beer?
37:57Yeah, Arctic.
37:58It was the Arctic.
37:58Why were you in the Arctic?
37:59Because portals are crazy.
38:01I absolutely loved it.
38:04I was riveted.
38:04But it is unbelievable that you're the only one of us with pre-existing knowledge.
38:09Okay.
38:10None of them had anything to do with the Scarlet Pimpernel.
38:13I kind of have to vote on things that were the closest to the Scarlet Pimpernel.
38:17I think in that context, I think Brie, the fact that you set yours in Bermuda in the 1900s,
38:22probably means that you get one point.
38:24Alice, there was no mention of the Pimpernel at all, so you get two points.
38:28That is an oversight.
38:31Three points to Jack, because there was some French stuff in there.
38:35This might seem crazy, but I'm going to give four points to Jackie.
38:39What?
38:39It had the Scarlet Pimpernel in it.
38:41How many times in that book does a portal pop up?
38:45I know.
38:46And finally, I'll give five points to Pax, because there was a lot of French stuff going on,
38:50and there was some escaping going on.
38:52Time for an air break.
38:56It will take a few minutes, so it should be enough time for you at home to speed read
39:00War and Peace.
39:01I think that's a good idea.
39:02We'll see you in a moment.
39:16Welcome back to Taskmaster.
39:18Can I get a scoreboard update, please, Paul?
39:20Currently a three-way tie, all on 13 points, Jackie, Brie and Alice.
39:27Wow.
39:27We've picked up.
39:29I've got to say, Paul, what a great group of contestants we've got this season.
39:33And do you know, they're all great listeners.
39:36Very true, Jeremy.
39:37I have a fun story, actually.
39:39Very fun story.
39:40You piece of shit.
39:43Oh, no, what?
39:43What do you know that I don't know?
39:45I don't know.
39:45What have you just done?
39:45What have you just done?
39:46Let him finish.
39:48During their tasks at the house, there was a small technical difficulty, and during that
39:54technical difficulty, I told them each an identical story that they all listened to and loved.
40:00Oh, no.
40:01Could you please put on the airmuffs that are under your seats?
40:03Oh, no.
40:05This is like torture.
40:06Oh.
40:07Enjoy my story.
40:09Two Fridays ago, I went to Whangarei.
40:13Oh.
40:14And I went to the supermarket.
40:16Yeah.
40:17Then this elderly woman approached me.
40:19Okay.
40:20Wow.
40:20She wasn't elderly.
40:21She was...
40:21My age.
40:22She was 63.
40:24Okay.
40:25A little bit older than me.
40:26And she had this wild pink and purple dress on, and she asked if I could reach the top shelf.
40:34God, that made you feel good.
40:35And get the boysenberry jam.
40:36Uh-huh.
40:37But then when I got it down, she asked how much it was, and it was $5.90, and she only
40:42had $3.
40:44I didn't know what to do.
40:45Yeah.
40:46I was like, would the strawberry jam suffice?
40:49Yeah.
40:50So the strawberry jam is only $3, which is how much money she had.
40:54But she didn't like strawberry jam.
40:56So she just left.
41:02Are we ready?
41:04Yes, ma'am.
41:04I would like a pen and paper.
41:06How come?
41:07Because I want to write down your stupid little story.
41:09I didn't tell a stupid little story.
41:11You did.
41:12About a 63-year-old woman in a bread aisle.
41:15I told an interesting story.
41:16Who wanted some jam that cost $5.90, but she only had $3.
41:21So then you got her the strawberry jam, and you were in Whangarei.
41:24You were in Whangarei two weeks ago, where you met an elderly woman who was 63 years
41:29old, and she wanted some jam, but she only had $3.
41:35Okay.
41:36Wasn't that lovely?
41:37You guys can all take your earmuffs off now.
41:39Wow.
41:40And head up to the stage for the final task.
41:43Oh, my God.
41:44Okay, Paul.
41:48Who's reading the task tonight?
41:49Pax Asadi.
41:51Recount Paul's story.
41:52Most accurate recounting wins.
41:55You have 30 seconds to recount.
41:57Headphones on and sit down, please.
41:58Oh, my God.
42:01Jack?
42:02For Christmas, I would like...
42:04Sit in the chair.
42:07Yeah, I regret that, too.
42:09Paul said to me, in the strictest of confidence, he said...
42:25He was in London with his flatmates.
42:29In my mother's negligee.
42:30And one of them came into his bedroom late at night.
42:34They didn't have a family dog, so they made him the family dog.
42:39And then they tried to milk him.
42:42They were halfway through, and then he was like...
42:44My mother died...
42:46in a horrible parachute crash...
42:51in Nicaragua.
42:54But then it all worked out fine, and he's really happily married now.
42:58And that is pretty much the story.
43:08Alice.
43:10I believe the story is about how Paul went to Whangarei for two weeks.
43:14He went to a supermarket.
43:15It might have been in New World.
43:17And there was a lady there, and she was wearing a top.
43:20It might have been purple.
43:21And I think something was cheaper at the supermarket in Whangarei
43:25than it was at the supermarket in Auckland.
43:27And I can't remember how much.
43:28I'm going to say $2.15.
43:30And then, um...
43:32Paul had a great time.
43:33Um...
43:35Ah!
43:40Did I do it?
43:41Ha-ha!
43:43Woo!
43:45Killing me that I can't hear!
43:47This is the greatest moment of my life!
43:49Ha-ha-ha!
43:50All right, everyone can take their headphones off, and we'll head down and score it.
43:58So what do you reckon about that, Paul?
44:00I mean, one of them was pretty good.
44:02Ha-ha!
44:03Aww!
44:04I would say one point to everybody other than Alice, who I think probably deserves five points.
44:10Okay.
44:11Wow.
44:11I'll take it.
44:12Ha-ha!
44:14So, in terms of the episode scores, Paul, where are we sitting?
44:19The winner of episode six, with 18 points, Alice Sneddon!
44:24Woo!
44:24Woo!
44:27Congrats.
44:28Congratulations, Alice.
44:29Please head up to the stage and claim your snappable things!
44:33Woo!
44:33Woo!
44:33Woo!
44:34Woo!
44:34Woo!
44:34Woo!
44:35Woo!
44:35Woo!
44:36See you next time.
44:37Má te wa.
44:38Woo!
44:38Woo!
44:39Woo!
44:39Woo!
44:40Woo!
44:40Woo!
44:41Woo!
44:41Woo!
44:42Woo!
44:43Woo!
44:44Woo!
44:44Woo!
44:45Woo!
44:45Woo!
44:46Woo!
44:46Woo!
44:47Woo!
44:47Woo!
44:48Woo!
44:48Woo!
44:49Woo!
44:49Woo!
44:50Woo!
44:51Woo!
44:52Woo!
44:53Woo!
44:54Woo!
44:55This is one of the great redemption stories of Taskmaster.
44:57No, no, no, no, no!
44:58Ah!
44:59Ah!
45:00I'm feeling deflated.
45:01At least I look cool in all these tasks.
45:03Oh, please.
45:04Woo!
45:05I'm a fantastic sports person!
45:06Woo!
45:07Woo!
45:08Woo!
45:09Woo!
45:10Woo!
45:11Woo!
45:12Woo!
45:13Woo!
45:14Finished!
45:14Finished!
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