- 2 weeks ago
Jimmy Kimmel Live - Season 24 Episode 52 -
Kamala Harris, Robby Hoffman
Kamala Harris, Robby Hoffman
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00:00Vice President Kamala Harris and Robby Hoffman with the Kletons.
00:07And now, Jimmy Kimmel!
00:10Oh, it's pretty nice, thank you.
00:24Hi, everyone, I'm Jimmy, I'm the host of the show.
00:30Thank you for watching, thank you for joining us here in Hollywood, California.
00:38I can feel the Christmas cheer.
00:42For those of you watching at home, we will not be interrupting your regular programming tonight.
00:47We get interrupted by Trump enough as it is.
00:49I don't know, you probably don't know this because you're here, but at home,
00:52we had a surprise primetime episode of The Worst Wing tonight on every channel.
00:58Yesterday, the president announced he'd be giving an impromptu liarside chat tonight
01:02in the middle of the season finales of Survivor and The Floor.
01:06He interrupted it.
01:07It's weird to think that had a couple of states just gone the other way,
01:11he'd be hosting one of those shows.
01:13Trump shouldn't be preempting The Floor.
01:15He should be mopping it, okay?
01:17Trump, he gave a speech or whatever you want to call it.
01:23He teased it yesterday, as he's known to do.
01:25He wrote, my fellow Americans, I'll be giving an address to the nation tomorrow night,
01:29live from the White House at 9 p.m. Eastern.
01:32I look forward to seeing you then.
01:33It has been a great year for our country, and the best is yet to come.
01:37I agree.
01:38The Epstein files are due on Friday.
01:43Basically, this speech tonight was taking the stand in his own defense.
01:50It was opening statements.
01:51It really is amazing that this fool is president.
01:54Former special counsel Jack Smith, you remember that name,
01:56the scary guy we all thought was going to bring him down?
01:59He secured two criminal indictments against Trump,
02:02one for stealing classified documents,
02:04the other for Trump's efforts to overturn the election in 2020.
02:08He was summoned, Jack Smith, to reveal his findings
02:10to the House Judiciary Committee this morning
02:13at the request of Trump-friendly committee chairman Jim Jordan.
02:17The meeting was held behind closed doors.
02:19It was probably because, which turned out to be awkward
02:21because one of them, one of the doors happened to be the one Melania was hiding behind.
02:27Jack Smith testified that his team gathered powerful evidence
02:31to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Trump broke the law.
02:35We all gathered that.
02:36He did it on tape.
02:38It was on television.
02:39He broke the law live on TV.
02:41We didn't need a special counsel to get that.
02:44We had TiVo record the whole thing.
02:46Do we have TiVo?
02:47Did we have TiVo?
02:47Do we still have TiVo?
02:50I don't know, Mike.
02:51TV still goes backwards when I want it to.
02:53But if he'd been convicted,
02:55Trump would have faced up to nine years behind bars.
02:57But instead of the big house,
02:58he's been redecorating the White House.
03:00He revealed another new addition to the home today,
03:04to his presidential wall of fame.
03:06He added plaques under each photo of each president.
03:10In some cases, two plaques,
03:11because he had too much to say on just one plaque.
03:14And before I show these, before I read them aloud,
03:16I want you to understand that these are real.
03:18We didn't alter these.
03:19This is not a bit.
03:20This is what our president is doing.
03:22This is the plaque for Joe Biden, his successor.
03:25Sleepy Joe Biden was by far the worst president in American history,
03:29taking office as a result of the most corrupt election ever seen.
03:34Biden oversaw a series of unprecedented disasters
03:37that brought our nation to the brink of destruction.
03:40This is on a plaque.
03:41And he goes on about inflation, the Green News scam,
03:44Afghanistan, insane asylums, mental institutions,
03:47auto pen, more insulting nicknames.
03:49OK, he left office issuing blanket pardons
03:52to radical Democrat criminals and thugs,
03:54as well as members of the Biden crime family.
03:56But despite it all, President Trump would get re-elected in a landslide
04:00and save America.
04:02And this is...
04:04Oh, there's a lot more to come.
04:08So save your energy here, because...
04:12So his press secretary, the vapid Sephora goblin Caroline Levitt,
04:17said,
04:17As a student of history,
04:19many were written directly by the president himself.
04:23Yeah, no kidding.
04:24Who else would write that?
04:25This...
04:25There's one for Obama, too.
04:27Barack Hussein Obama was the first black president,
04:30a community organizer,
04:32one-term senator from Illinois,
04:34and one of the most divisive political figures in American history.
04:37As president, he passed the highly ineffective Unaffordable Care Act.
04:42He presided over a stagnant economy,
04:44approved the terrible Iran nuclear deal,
04:46and signed the one-sided Paris Climate Accords,
04:48both of which were later terminated by President Donald J. Trump.
04:51He crippled small businesses, spied on the campaign of Trump,
04:55and presided over the creation of the Russia-Russia-Russia hoax,
04:58the worst political scandal in American history.
05:01His handpicked successor, Hillary Rodham Clinton,
05:03would then lose the presidency to Donald J. Trump.
05:07This is on the plaque.
05:10And he had a similar line for Bill Clinton.
05:12Bill Clinton served as attorney general, governor of Arkansas.
05:14He approved NAFTA, which President Trump would later terminate,
05:17as being bad for the United States, welcome China, blah, blah, blah.
05:20Despite the scandals that plagued his presidency,
05:22the tech boom of the 90s resulted in excellent economic growth.
05:25In 2016, President Clinton's wife, Hillary,
05:28lost the presidency to President Donald J. Trump.
05:32It's like Dickopedia, each entry.
05:35But I will say, in fairness,
05:40they weren't all unflattering.
05:42The plaques he made about himself are very positive.
05:45He even worked himself into the Reagan plaque.
05:49Ronald Reagan won the Cold War
05:51and transformed American politics.
05:52He was a fan of President Donald J. Trump
05:54long before President Trump's historic run for the White House.
05:59Likewise, President Trump was a fan of his.
06:01Reagan was a fan of his long before he ran for president.
06:05Ronald Reagan died in 2004.
06:07He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 10 years before that.
06:11What was he a fan of exactly?
06:13Trump's Pizza Hut commercials?
06:15I mean, what a sad individual that he knows.
06:18Deep down in the pit where his soul should be,
06:22in that pot where all the undigested fried chicken
06:25and off-brand Sudafed piles up,
06:28he knows that no one respects him.
06:29He knows they all just want something from him.
06:31And he knows the world is laughing at him,
06:33that his brain and face are like a creamsicle
06:37melting on the sidewalk.
06:38So he calls up a trophy shop and he says,
06:41grab a pen, let's make some plaques.
06:43It takes a special kind of lunatic
06:46to get his insults cast in bronze.
06:50Abraham Lincoln, he freed the slaves.
06:52Who would have loved me?
06:53They were.
06:54Can we please put this man in a home
06:56before he completely destroys the one he's in now?
06:59And if your grandfather was doing this,
07:05you would send him away.
07:08The other big event in Washington today,
07:10for me anyway, was a Senate hearing
07:11about that little incident I had with the FCC
07:14that got us an unwanted vacation a couple of months ago.
07:17So this morning, the Senate Committee
07:19on Commerce, Science and Transportation
07:21convened to grill FCC Chairman
07:24and hairless colon weasel Brendan Carr.
07:26He is the tough guy who threatened the company
07:29I work for saying we could do this the easy way
07:31or the hard way.
07:32During the hearing, Democrats grilled him
07:35on his attacks on free speech,
07:37while Republicans focused mostly
07:39on rural broadband service maps.
07:41They danced around, it was like the hokey pokey.
07:43So surprisingly, the only Republican
07:45who really said anything critical at all
07:47was my old pal, Senator Ted Cruz.
07:50So I would note Senator Kim
07:51asked multiple questions
07:52about whether it is appropriate
07:54for politicians to try to pressure the FCC
07:56to silence their critics.
07:59My answer to that is unequivocally no.
08:03Now, to his credit, Ted was the only Republican
08:05to express that thought.
08:06Unfortunately, he also expressed this thought.
08:09Jimmy Kimball is angry, overtly partisan
08:12and profoundly unfunny.
08:14Ah, there's my, there's my old ball
08:19of expired mayonnaise kid, Jimmy Kimball.
08:22I have to say, profoundly old funny, unfunny
08:25hurts my feelings.
08:26I would never say he isn't funny.
08:28He's, I think, he's very, he was funny
08:31when he jetted off to Cancun during that snowstorm.
08:33It was funny when he liked that stepmom porn
08:36on 9-11.
08:37He was, a lot of funny stuff.
08:39It was so weird watching this this morning
08:41while I made bagels for my kids.
08:43If you told me 25 years ago, 30 years ago,
08:46that the Senate Committee on Commerce,
08:48Science, and Transportation would be holding
08:50a hearing about me, I would, I guess I would assume
08:54I got drunk on a plane and tried to force the door open
08:57in the air.
08:58The hearing was on C-SPAN 3, uh, out of three.
09:03There were only three C-SPANs.
09:04You know it's bad when you can't even make the main C-SPAN,
09:06but I didn't.
09:07In the end, none of the Republicans confronted
09:09the commissioner in any way.
09:11Um, no one watched this.
09:12No one admitted to anything.
09:13Nothing was done to prevent it from happening again.
09:15No one's held accountable.
09:16And your freedom of speech is only guaranteed
09:18depending upon what you have to say.
09:20It was not the bipartisan effort we might have expected.
09:23And the only interesting thing, really,
09:25that happened was this.
09:27Mr. Brendan Carr, is it correct that everybody
09:29wants you to replace Timmy Kimmel with someone more handsome?
09:33That's not correct, sir.
09:35How about someone more Mexican?
09:39I yield my time.
09:40How dare you?
09:51Sorry.
09:52Meanwhile, the first footage from the soon-to-be-released documentary
09:55about Melania came out today.
09:58It's called Melania.
09:59Amazon shelled out $40 million for it.
10:02It's rated PG, as in presidential grift.
10:05The movie follows the drama leading up to Trump's second inauguration.
10:09And I have to admit, I can't wait to see it.
10:13Here we go again.
10:25Is it safe?
10:26It is safe.
10:39The new film with Amazon, MGM.
10:44And the Oscar for The Best Picture goes to...
10:48Oh, hey, speaking of the Oscars, they're leaving us.
10:51The Oscar, after airing here on ABC since 1976,
10:56the Academy of Motion Pictures has announced
10:58that they are moving to YouTube.
11:00For real.
11:01Starting in 2029, the Oscars will stream exclusively on YouTube.
11:05They made a point to say exclusively.
11:08Exclusively is...
11:09Exclusively is a strong word for a platform
11:11that's mostly made up of 11-year-olds playing Among Us,
11:14but it is exclusive.
11:16The Academy said the Oscars will be streamed on YouTube through 2033,
11:21which I just hope we make it to 2033.
11:23I don't know.
11:24The Oscars on YouTube, it's kind of scary.
11:27I mean, what if...
11:28Like, what if instead of ABC,
11:29everybody starts watching our show on YouTube?
11:32Can you imagine that, Guillermo?
11:33No, I cannot imagine that.
11:35It would be an absolute disaster.
11:37It would be crazy.
11:38You know, the Oscars are held right across the street
11:40from us here in Hollywood.
11:41And every year, many, many people come to Hollywood
11:43hoping to see a movie star.
11:45Mostly they just see homeless spider people.
11:47But we wanted to change that,
11:49so we reached out to a friend,
11:51the star of The Long Walk, The Life of Chuck,
11:54and the most popular movie franchise in history
11:57to help us out.
11:58His name is Mark Hamill.
11:59Perhaps you've heard of him.
12:00Luke Stark, et cetera.
12:02Mark spent the afternoon standing on his star
12:08on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
12:09just outside our building
12:11to see who noticed he was there and who did not.
12:16Wow.
12:17Wow.
12:18Wow, this is great.
12:20Look who it is.
12:22Oh, my God.
12:24It's Mark Hamill's star.
12:26Could you take a picture of me with this star?
12:29It would be so great.
12:30Yeah, I'm a big fan of this guy.
12:31He played Laurie's boyfriend on The Partridge Family.
12:35Have you ever heard of him?
12:36Mark Hamill?
12:38Hey, would you take my picture with the star?
12:42No?
12:43No?
12:43Have a good day anyway.
12:45I'll take a picture.
12:46You will?
12:46Oh, thanks.
12:47Oh, wait a minute.
12:48You have to wind it.
12:48I don't know how much you have to hear it.
12:54I see what those are allowed.
12:56I know.
12:57So here, if you come here.
13:01Ready?
13:02Yeah.
13:02One, two, three.
13:05Did you hear this guy died today?
13:08I read on the Internet he was in a jet ski accident.
13:11And I know, it's really sad.
13:13He was in Corvette Summer.
13:15Star Wars.
13:16Yeah, all that?
13:17Yeah, I heard about that.
13:18I never saw it.
13:19No, no, no, no.
13:20Yeah, he's also in the SpongeBob movie, Search for Squarepants, which opens up the Friday
13:26before Christmas.
13:27I'm going to see it in 3D.
13:29How old was he?
13:3074.
13:3174.
13:32But actors lie about their age.
13:34He's probably 81.
13:38Do you have any died?
13:39He's not showing it on his phone.
13:42He said, I always believe the Internet.
13:44Yeah.
13:45Maybe he didn't die.
13:46Yeah, but he's a little figure.
13:47Yeah, exactly.
13:48Check TMZ.
13:49Yeah.
13:51Check TMZ.
13:52That's horrible advice for anyone.
13:57Dad, I told you, don't follow me to work.
14:00Good grief.
14:01What does it take to get recognized around here?
14:05Well, maybe this will work.
14:19It's nothing.
14:21Nobody cares.
14:24Wow, it's Mark Hamill.
14:26Yeah, it is.
14:26Well, no, it's not.
14:27I look like him, but it's not me.
14:29I'm on the phone with my girl.
14:30Oh, you are?
14:31Oh, hi.
14:31Yeah, this guy says hi.
14:33He looks like Mark Hamill.
14:34Hi.
14:35Are you really not Mark Hamill?
14:37I'm really not.
14:38Okay, I would have believed you were too dead.
14:40Really?
14:40I don't even really know who that is.
14:42I don't know who it is either.
14:43I heard he was in a bunch of space movies.
14:45Let's take a selfie and I'm going to tell everybody I met him.
14:50Nice seeing you.
14:52Bye now.
14:53Did you see this monthly Mark Hamill?
14:58I'm Mark Hamill.
14:59Come on.
15:04Thank you for doing that.
15:20I know that was a long day.
15:21I've got to tell you.
15:23Now.
15:26They know who you are.
15:29You should have come in here.
15:30I'm telling you.
15:32That was a real wake-up call.
15:34It's bleeding.
15:35Let me tell you.
15:36I heard today's your wedding anniversary.
15:38How many years?
15:40We got married on this day in 1978.
15:43You do the math.
15:451978.
15:45All right.
15:45That's a long time.
15:46Yeah, yeah.
15:47Wow.
15:47Hopefully she'll recognize me.
15:50Well, yeah, hopefully.
15:51Now, Mark plays the Flying Dutchman in the SpongeBob movie,
15:55Search for Squarepants.
15:56It opens in theaters on Friday.
15:57Happy anniversary to you and your wife.
16:00Thank you for spending it on us.
16:01Mark Hamill, everybody.
16:03Thank you, Mark.
16:03We have a great show tonight.
16:05Robbie Hoffman is here.
16:06We'll be back with Vice President Kamala Harris.
16:17Hello there.
16:20Welcome back to the show tonight.
16:21A very funny woman with a new Netflix comedy special called Wake Up.
16:26Robbie Hoffman is with us tonight.
16:28Tomorrow night, you will be joined by Macaulay Culkin and Jason Clark with music from Dawes
16:34and Friends.
16:35So join us for that.
16:36Our first guest tonight has quite a resume.
16:38Includes District Attorney, Attorney General, Senator, Vice President, McDonald's employee,
16:44and now best-selling author chronicling the craziest presidential campaign in U.S. history.
16:50It's called 107 Days.
16:52Please welcome Vice President Kamala Harris.
17:08How are you?
17:18Welcome, welcome.
17:21Thank you for being here.
17:24You all see that?
17:36Your husband, Doug.
17:37Your husband, Doug, is in the audience, and he wisely stood up and joined the standing
17:41ovation.
17:42That's my daddy.
17:43Happy Hanukkah, Doug.
17:44Did you remember to get, did you get Doug eight little gifts for Hanukkah?
17:48He gets a gift every day that we, of our marriage, every day.
17:53Isn't it weird that had you been elected president right now, we'd be watching a $40 million documentary
17:59about Doug on Amazon?
18:05It's a different world.
18:07After the election, did you and Doug just start drinking?
18:12We did.
18:14Let me just say that we definitely, it took us some time.
18:20When was the last time you spoke with President Biden?
18:23About three, four weeks ago.
18:26Do you feel like Joe Biden and his people did everything they could to help you win the election?
18:35I write about that, as you know.
18:36And certainly, I think we needed more time, and from certain places in the administration,
18:44we needed more support.
18:46Republicans have mercilessly attacked President Biden for his age and his mental faculty,
18:52and yet now we see the current president falling asleep at meetings and drooling on paperwork,
18:58and they seem to have no problem with that.
19:00Does that seem hypocritical to you?
19:02Do you think?
19:10Are you like the rest of us?
19:12We have like a group text chat, and people are like, oh my God, did you see what he said?
19:17Yes.
19:18You do, yeah.
19:18And, I mean, listen, I think it's important, and you do an incredible job of helping us find humor in it.
19:28And, and, but there is nothing normal about what we are experiencing,
19:37and I think it's really important for us to remember we cannot normalize this.
19:42And, and frankly, as much as we are clear-eyed about what is wrong and corrupt and callous
19:50and incompetent about this administration, we also must remember when we are talking about that,
19:59and the people of America deserve better.
20:02And, and, and, you know, given even just what most recently, our friend Rob Reiner.
20:16Yeah, that was, that was, that seemed like the lowest point so far.
20:20And, but, and the people deserve better of their president
20:24than someone who has no interest in caring about the condition or the well-being
20:37or the suffering of the people of their country.
20:41Basic human decency.
20:42But it, it's even more than just, it's, it's, it's, it's, I'm not saying that he's impolite.
20:54It's, it's a whole other thing.
20:56When you have taken to engaging in a pattern that is about belittling and demeaning people for no sake.
21:07I saw your intro with the plaques, which, you know, I spent so much time in the White House.
21:11The idea that those plaques would have been placed by a president of the United States
21:16to talk about former presidents of the United States.
21:20The American people deserve better.
21:24Do you think that, it's so crazy, and a lot of times, you know, you, you can't help but laugh at it,
21:31but is this coordinated or is this just random chaos?
21:34Is this something that's been...
21:36It's not, it is not random chaos.
21:37You don't think so?
21:37I do not.
21:38It's intentional to distract us from the various things.
21:42So let's go through it.
21:43And I, again, I even map out, first of all, I know that it has felt chaotic,
21:48but what we are in fact witnessing is something that is a high velocity event.
21:55It is moving quickly, which is the swift implementation of a plan that has been, in a large part, decades in the making.
22:04The Federalist Society, all of the work that has happened, Heritage Foundation,
22:09all this work that has happened over years that is about deconstructing government's ability to have checks and balances on abuse of power.
22:18What we are witnessing in terms of the gerrymandering that has been happening for years and years and years,
22:25the desire to deregulate industries so that they will not be accountable to the consumers and the people of America.
22:32We are seeing a swift implementation of a plan that has been a long time in the making.
22:37And yes, part of the crazy is meant to distract from the fact.
22:42The guy said, and I believe there were a fair number of people who voted for him who believed him when he said,
22:48on day one he was going to bring down prices.
22:50And look where we are.
22:52As of today, the price of food is up.
22:55Unemployment is up.
22:56Inflation is up.
22:57And so what does he do?
22:58He keeps dropping bombs.
23:00Almost literally seems like he wants to.
23:03Yeah.
23:03Well, yeah.
23:03Right?
23:04And has.
23:04And that is because he wants to distract from the fact and have us talk full time about the crazy
23:11instead of the fact that people are being challenged right now about being able to pay their rent,
23:18buy food, get Christmas gifts for their kids.
23:22And he doesn't want us talking about the fact that he has destroyed the economy in so many ways,
23:27except for his cronies, his friends, who are making millions, if not billions, of dollars based on abject and overt grift.
23:38His family, him, himself.
23:40He's selling watches on television.
23:42Would you have been selling watches on television?
23:45But you know what I do talk about?
23:47And so when I called him, so during the campaign.
23:50Yes, I really want to hear this story.
23:52Please.
23:52Okay.
23:52So during the campaign, what happened was I called him.
24:01It was actually a very sad occasion, which was it was after there was an attempt on his life.
24:06And I called him to check on him.
24:07And it was actually a fascinating experience for me, because while I was asked one minute, we're going to go and get him,
24:19I could hear him in the background, and he was selling his book to somebody.
24:24And he was basically hawking his book.
24:27And the contrast around the reality of the significance of an attempt to assassinate a former president of the United States,
24:38a candidate and a nominee at that point for president,
24:42and the fact that at that very what should be a somber moment for all of us,
24:46that that was happening in the background, was...
24:51Unbelievable.
24:53Unbelievable, but, you know, at this point, not surprising, right?
24:56Not at all.
24:57Now, the Epstein files are supposed to be released on Friday.
25:01Do you believe we will see the entirety of those files?
25:05You know, what he has done to treat the Department of Justice as his personal law firm is criminal
25:15in proportion to what it's supposed to be,
25:20and that it is supposed to be an independent body that does justice,
25:25and blindfolded in terms of for whom, but for the country,
25:30they're supposed to operate without favor or fear in what this Department of Justice has done.
25:36So I don't know that they are going to do what they're saying they're going to do,
25:41which is release all of the documents that the American people have a right to see.
25:45But I will commend Republicans in Congress, those who have stood up to say release the file.
25:53Yeah.
25:53Do you think about, and I'm sure you get asked about,
25:56why didn't the Biden administration release those files?
26:00Was that something that they felt would look bad while running against this guy,
26:06or why didn't they come out during your administration?
26:08To give you an answer that will not satisfy your curiosity, I will tell you,
26:13we, perhaps to our damage, but we strongly and rightly believe that there should be an absolute
26:21separation between what we wanted as an administration and what the Department of Justice did.
26:28We absolutely adhered to that, and it was right to do that.
26:33The Justice Department would make its decisions independent of any political or personal vendetta
26:40or concern that we may have, and that's the way it worked.
26:44All right.
26:45We're going to take a break.
26:46This is the book.
26:46It's called 107 Days.
26:48Vice President Kamala Harris is with us.
26:50This is the number of days you had to run the shortest campaign in presidential history.
27:09It's the best-selling memoir of the year.
27:12You even beat out Rick Astley's memoir last year, you know?
27:15There are very specific details in the book, which interests me,
27:20because I wonder if you were writing everything down with this in mind while it was happening.
27:24You keep a journal?
27:26No.
27:27First of all, I did not keep a journal.
27:30I did not write it down while it was happening because I had no time.
27:35There was absolutely no time for reflection at all during those 107 days.
27:40I want to ask you about a detail, which is for your debate prep,
27:46when you had the debate with President Trump.
27:49I wanted more.
27:50Oh, man.
27:51He wouldn't agree to any more.
27:52It was a pretty...
27:53It was...
27:53I thought, oh, well, that's over.
27:56It's done.
27:57The guy who played Trump in your practice debate.
28:01Yes.
28:02He's brilliant.
28:03He is...
28:04Oh, there's a picture of the guy.
28:06He is...
28:07He went full method actor on this.
28:09Oh, he did.
28:09He did.
28:10He did the makeup.
28:12He did the long red tie.
28:14And even when we were taking breaks, he never broke character.
28:18He would be spanked with a Forbes magazine?
28:20No.
28:22Well, not in public, as we know.
28:24That's not how that's happened.
28:26But he never broke from character.
28:29And he studied Trump so that he had all the mannerisms and the expressions.
28:35It was eerie.
28:36Did he prepare you for being screamed at, they're eating the cats and dogs?
28:43Did that come up in the practice session?
28:45So let me tell you how that happened.
28:47Yeah.
28:47So we get to Philly for the debate, because we had been practicing in Pittsburgh, and then
28:56we went to Philly.
28:57And I'm there with my team, and my team, they're amazing.
29:01I've dedicated the book to them.
29:03Just an extraordinary group of people.
29:05And they're watching Trump get off his plane to come to the debate.
29:13And they see that on his plane is also Laura Loomer.
29:18Mm-hmm.
29:19Right.
29:20And they knew that she had apparently been saying this thing about cats and dogs and people
29:26eating their pets.
29:27I had not heard it.
29:28And so on the day of the debate, they basically said, hey, boss, they call me boss, hey, boss,
29:34you need to hear something that might just might come up, because, you know, he says the
29:38last thing that's been in his ear.
29:39Right.
29:40That's when I first learned that this was what was happening.
29:42And then I was absolutely taken aback, but not shocked, when he did actually talk about
29:49that on the debate stage.
29:51He didn't just talk about it, he shouted it.
29:53Yeah.
29:54And are people still eating the cats and dogs?
29:57Because that seems to have, somehow that seems to have magically gone away now that he's the
30:02president.
30:03But think about, I mean, in all seriousness, the president of the United States engaging
30:11in such, it's not just hyperbole, it's not just like hyped up exaggeration.
30:17We're talking about lies.
30:19And we're talking about them being targeted, these lies, at, in particular, very vulnerable
30:28communities or individuals.
30:30We are talking about the power, you know, what the power of the presidency, when a president
30:35of the United States speaks a word, talk about, it sounds like a shout, even if it is a whisper,
30:42because of who it is coming from, and what it means, and the impact it has, not only in the
30:47target of those words, but the rest of the population and the world.
30:52Well, the two scenarios are either he's lying and putting that out there to attract whomever
30:59he wants to attract, or he actually believes this is happening.
31:03Both...
31:03Or he is just unwell.
31:05Yeah.
31:06It could be all of the above.
31:08You mentioned the plane, you mentioned Trump getting off the plane.
31:14Would you tell a story in the book about J.D. Vance and the plane?
31:18Yeah, we're campaigning, and he, he had to read the book.
31:26But basically approaches Air Force Two, which I am on and just got off.
31:33And I learned after, because he had some, you know, comment about he wanted to inspect
31:38the plane that he believed he would be on.
31:41But, I mean, again, the seriousness of this moment is perhaps that is another example of
31:49what we deserve and what we're not getting.
31:53That someone would be so preoccupied, that this administration would be so preoccupied with
31:59the trappings of power, that they would, they would prioritize that over the well-being of
32:08the American people and what the people need right now.
32:10I'm traveling the country with this book tour.
32:12I am talking with people around the country and mostly listening.
32:17And there, there's an incredible amount of fear.
32:21People feel rightly that they're not being seen, that they have no access to the centers
32:29of power, the feedback that people across the board give, is they're fully aware of this
32:36hyper-concentration of economic and political power among a very few, not for the benefit
32:44of the whole.
32:46And I don't know if we've seen the worst yet.
32:50It may get worse before it gets better.
32:52How do we get through the next three years?
32:54We do not normalize this.
32:57And we have to have a certain level of faith in who we are as the American people.
33:04You know, I, it may sound corny, but look, I have always believed that the power is with
33:10the people.
33:11And we can never let any one election or individual or circumstance take our power from us.
33:17We cannot allow our spirit to be defeated because then they win.
33:23Then they win.
33:25And so over the next three years, it is about staying engaged and, and knowing the power that
33:31each of us have as individuals in terms of just how you participate in your community,
33:37in society, whether it's volunteering at a nonprofit or helping a neighbor who might be a single
33:44parent or, or getting engaged on whether it's an election or a campaign that is about something
33:50that's improving the safety and wellbeing of your community.
33:53We cannot during these next years say, Hey, I'm going to pull the covers over.
33:58Wake me up when it's over.
33:59We cannot do that.
34:00That is not the spirit of who we are as Americans.
34:02The spirit of who we are as Americans is we love our country and we fight for what is
34:09good and right.
34:10The book is called 107 Days.
34:13Vice President Kamala Harris, everyone.
34:15We'll be back with Robbie Hoffman.
34:17Thanks.
34:22Tomorrow on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Macaulay Culkin, Jason Clarke, plus music and dolls.
34:32All right, our next guest, you know from her Emmy-nominated performing on the show Hacks
34:46on the first night of Hanukkah, she delivered us a gift, a Netflix stand-up comedy special
34:51called Wake Up.
34:52Please welcome Robbie Hoffman.
34:54You know, Robbie, I know this is your first time in a late night talk show, but boy, that
35:13entrance was as if you've done it a thousand times.
35:15You know what?
35:15It's very natural.
35:17I thought, you know what?
35:18I always, people ask me, like, did you think you would be here?
35:20You'd be doing this?
35:21As a matter of fact, I did.
35:22Did you meet Kamala Harris, the Vice President?
35:27Oh, you bet.
35:27You did.
35:27You bet.
35:28I got my brother.
35:28He took pictures of her.
35:31Nice.
35:31Of her?
35:32Just, or did you get it?
35:33Well, what's wrong?
35:33I don't know what he did.
35:34My brother, Shmully from Calgary, is in.
35:36He's my date tonight.
35:37Oh, nice.
35:38Yeah, and I took him up to Malibu, and we bought an unauthorized book of Kamala's.
35:42We didn't know about this new book.
35:44You bought one of those bootleg books they saw?
35:45But she did sign it, thankfully.
35:47She signed it anyway?
35:47I didn't realize.
35:48We came today.
35:49She's promoting a new book.
35:50We had the wrong book.
35:51You have a lot of siblings.
35:56How many siblings do you have?
35:58I have nine siblings.
35:59I have five brothers and four sisters.
36:01What are their names?
36:03We got Shmully.
36:04We got Menachem.
36:05We got Yehudas.
36:06We got Chaya.
36:07Shout out to the Dvorah.
36:08We have a lot of names.
36:09That's why Kamala, we were debating.
36:11We were at dinner, and we were saying, what if we meet her?
36:14Yeah.
36:14I said, well, OK, we'll bring the book.
36:16We got the book.
36:17Right?
36:17And then they said, well, what is it, Kamala, Kamala?
36:20And then my sister-in-law, Mariana, she's from Venezuela.
36:22She's saying, it's Kamala.
36:23And I'm like, we can't be doing Kamala.
36:25No.
36:26Yeah.
36:26You know, nobody, we grew up, nobody could say our names.
36:28I'm born Rifka Sara.
36:29I go by Robbie now.
36:30Nobody could say our names.
36:31And we can't say theirs.
36:32I'll say that.
36:33That seems fair.
36:35Did you have like a, and your house with all of those kids.
36:39How many bathrooms did you have?
36:40I mean, to call it a house is an overstatement.
36:42OK.
36:42We had one bathroom.
36:43One bathroom.
36:44Yes.
36:45Our bathroom was like a latrine in the morning.
36:47Like, we had one toilet that my brothers would use as a urinal.
36:51Three or four of them around.
36:52I'm brushing my teeth.
36:53It was a disaster.
36:54We're lucky to be alive.
36:55I'm lucky to be here, Jimmy.
36:56Ten children, eight nights of Hanukkah, equals 80 gifts.
37:03No.
37:04No.
37:04Oh.
37:05I think you're more familiar with rich Jews.
37:08Oh.
37:09Perhaps.
37:09Right.
37:10No.
37:10And I was the same like you.
37:12When I found out we were born Jewish and poor, I go, when does this even happen?
37:16Is that even possible?
37:17I thought.
37:19Because we were born in New York, I think, OK, so far, so good.
37:23Then you find out Jewish s*** is looking up.
37:25Welfare.
37:25What happened?
37:27What in my mind?
37:28My mother must have fumbled the bag.
37:29It's the fumble of the century.
37:31We got one communal gift.
37:33It was either monopoly or risk.
37:38It was what?
37:39And so help me God, if my brother Levy didn't have us staying up till he won.
37:44I'm stuck in Russia.
37:46Just, I don't even want to be here.
37:47I don't know how I got to Russia.
37:49Just take it.
37:50And my mother would look at us playing and be like, oh, good.
37:53They're playing.
37:53And I'm like, ma, save me.
37:55I'm in the middle of Russia.
37:56I have no idea how I got here.
37:57Do you like playing games?
37:58Is that a thing that you're...
37:59No, no, no, no, no.
37:59I have PTSD from playing games.
38:01It's very triggering.
38:02I know.
38:02I don't go to a board game night.
38:04I'm a grown-up, Jimmy.
38:05I'm the same way.
38:06Yeah.
38:07Are you...
38:07Do you like, like, parties and stuff like that?
38:10I mean, define a party.
38:12I'll sit and have a...
38:13I'll have a libation.
38:14But, you know, what am I, dancing on the bar now?
38:19No.
38:20None of that stuff.
38:20And nobody wants it, by the way.
38:22Nobody is saying, Rob, get up on the bar.
38:24Give us a twirl.
38:25It hasn't happened.
38:26Are you still close with your siblings?
38:29I'm close with a bunch of them.
38:30I would say we ebb and flow.
38:31There's different groups.
38:32There's different dramas that are always happening.
38:34There's different group chats.
38:36You know, there's a revolving door of the drama, and somebody's not talking to this person
38:40that day, and the next day they're talking.
38:42It's kind of like the Kardashians, but Jewish and poor.
38:47Your wife is not Jewish.
38:49No, thank God.
38:50By the grace of God.
38:52Is that an issue with the family?
38:55It's a benefit.
38:56It is.
38:57Okay.
38:57Okay.
38:59I'm doing my third Christmas this year, Jimmy.
39:01Third Christmas?
39:02Yes.
39:02It's still a week away.
39:05I'm waking up, and a present is under that tree.
39:08Is there anything better?
39:09As soon as I found out about Christmas, it's coming.
39:12It's dead in the water.
39:13It doesn't even compete.
39:15I think multiple Christmases is just Hanukkah.
39:19Multiple Christmases is because, well, did Christmas come from Hanukkah?
39:28Yes, it's the Hanukkah remake.
39:29Okay.
39:30The Festival of Lights, people think, oh, you just have lights on your trees?
39:33It's obviously coming from the menorah.
39:36It's obviously the Festival of Lights.
39:37But what they did is they remixed it.
39:39Okay, they sampled Hanukkah on the song, and it's f***ing sick.
39:43I'd like the remix more.
39:45Okay.
39:46Nothing better.
39:48I know John Mulaney directed your special.
39:50The special is very funny, by the way.
39:52It's really, really funny.
39:53It's wonderful.
39:53Perhaps shocking, probably, to many, I would think.
39:56It could be shocking.
39:56Listen, I want to be honest with you, Jimmy.
39:58It's one of the greatest stand-up specials recorded recently.
40:01And I don't say it just because it's mine.
40:03I say it because it's true.
40:04But what people will not believe, and I'm happy you brought this up, is that John Mulaney
40:09asked me, John Mulaney called me begging to direct this, and I'll say he blew it out
40:17of the f***ing park.
40:18I don't know what we can say here.
40:19It's my first time.
40:20He did do a very nice job.
40:22It's my first time, and I appreciate you guys.
40:24You're as lovely as I thought you would be.
40:26It's unbelievable.
40:27Robby, one more thing, if you would.
40:29How do we get through the next three years?
40:31Can you help us?
40:33Robby Hoffman, wake up on Netflix.
40:35That'll do it?
40:36OK.
40:36Just listen.
40:37I've stopped recycling, Jimmy.
40:39I've got to be honest.
40:39I have given up.
40:41I don't do anything.
40:42I know.
40:43I was listening to Madam Vice President earlier, and I'm trying to be.
40:46But you know what?
40:47I'm just trying to enjoy the days we have left.
40:51Pretty solid advice.
40:53That's right.
40:53Just enjoy what you have and what you have left.
40:55Have a libation.
40:58Go play.
40:59If you like board games, don't invite me, but enjoy them.
41:02Thank you, Robby.
41:02I am Robby Hoffman.
41:03Follow me and everything, Jimmy.
41:05You don't have to say that at the end of the show.
41:08I am saying it.
41:09Forgive me.
41:10She's Robby Hoffman.
41:11Follow her on everything.
41:13Her special's called Wake Up.
41:14It's on Netflix now.
41:23Thanks to Kamala Harris.
41:24Thanks to Robby Hoffman.
41:25And Mark Hamill.
41:27Apologies to Matt Damon.
41:28We ran out of time for him, but he stinks.
41:30Nightline is next.
41:31Thanks for watching.
41:32Good night.
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