- 9 hours ago
Would I Lie To You S19 E01
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00:00MUSIC
00:23Good evening.
00:24Welcome to Would I Lie To You,
00:26the show with tall tales and tantalising truths.
00:29On Lee Mack's team tonight, from Coronation Street to the post office,
00:33it's the wonderful Julie Hesmanhaus.
00:39And she's a DJ, a presenter, a filmmaker, it's Yinka Bikini.
00:48And on David Mitchell's team tonight,
00:50will she be the last one laughing?
00:53It's comedian Harriet Kemsley.
00:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:58And stand up for Strictly Champion, Chris McCausland.
01:07So, to round one, home truths,
01:09where our panellists read out a statement from the card in front of them
01:13to make things harder they've never seen the card before,
01:16so they've no idea what they'll be faced with.
01:18It's up to the opposing team to sort the fact from the fiction.
01:22Julie, you're first up tonight.
01:25I once put on two stone in three months for an acting role,
01:30only for the project to get cancelled.
01:33Oh, David.
01:34What was the project? What was the role?
01:36So, it was a Channel 5 drama, comedy drama,
01:41called Fatty and Thinny.
01:45LAUGHTER
01:48It was very good, actually, it was a very good script,
01:50and the premise of it was...
01:51It sounds good, it sounds quite sophisticated.
01:54LAUGHTER
01:55The premise was a sort of seaside postcard kind of couple,
01:58and so she was a sort of, like, big lady,
02:00and he was a tiny little skinny man.
02:02What did you do to put on the weight?
02:04Well, it was amazing.
02:05It was the most wonderful few weeks of my life.
02:09LAUGHTER
02:10I just ate whatever I wanted, and I have an insatiable appetite.
02:13Ice cream?
02:14Ice cream.
02:15Bread.
02:16Donuts, bread.
02:17Bread till it was coming out my ears.
02:19Are you learning your lines at this stage?
02:21Erm...
02:22She's eating them!
02:23LAUGHTER
02:25Whatever happened to Fatty and Thinny?
02:27Well, the project just went under, as it sometimes does.
02:30Chris McCausland, what do you think?
02:32I'm inclined to believe this, erm...
02:34Because?
02:35Fatty and Thinny, she came up with that quite quick.
02:37Yes, she did come up with Fatty and Thinny quite quickly,
02:40but the card said she had to put on weight for a role,
02:43and what she came up with quickly was the role of Fatty.
02:48And, in a sense, I mean, I'm not saying it isn't impressive,
02:53but it's a believable level of invention.
02:56Yeah.
02:57I think it's a lie.
02:58What do you think, Dave?
02:59Well, I think it's a lie.
03:01I must say, I love the way that Chris just referred to you as Dave.
03:04Oh.
03:05Oh.
03:06Because you're not a Dave, are you?
03:08No, I don't often get called Dave, but I don't mind.
03:10No.
03:11We can see why.
03:12Now...
03:13We're...
03:14No, because, because...
03:16You look...
03:17Chris, if you could see me, you'd never call me Dave.
03:19Oh, never.
03:20Because I've got the word David tattooed over my face.
03:25LAUGHTER
03:26They think it's a lie.
03:30Was it a lie, or were you telling the truth?
03:33It's a lie.
03:34LAUGHTER
03:35It's a lie.
03:36Julie didn't put on two stone for an acting role.
03:42Chris, you're next.
03:44OK.
03:45There you go.
03:46OK.
03:47Cheers.
03:48On a recent visit to the Liverpool team's training ground,
03:52I went in goal and saved a penalty from Mo Salah.
03:57LAUGHTER
03:59Do you know what?
04:00It's more ludicrous that you would do that, David.
04:03LAUGHTER
04:06We all know who Mo Salah is, right?
04:07Yes.
04:08Yes.
04:09I don't.
04:10Well, he's a footballer for Liverpool.
04:11A very good footballer for Liverpool.
04:13In fact, so good...
04:14Yeah.
04:15I would fancy his chances of scoring a penalty against anybody
04:20and Chris has saved it.
04:22LAUGHTER
04:23So, Chris, I know you want David to carry on with this,
04:26but you're going to have to take over now.
04:28LAUGHTER
04:30So, what were you doing at...
04:31Was it at Anfield, did you say?
04:32No, it was in a training.
04:34They've got, like, a charity foundation.
04:36And, you know, obviously, being somebody from Liverpool,
04:39Liverpool fan, I was invited along to do some work with them.
04:42So, how did you end up in goal?
04:44Well, because, obviously, it's funny, isn't it?
04:47You know?
04:48LAUGHTER
04:49And, erm, people might know this, but I'm a comedian.
04:54LAUGHTER
04:57We just thought it'd be funny if I was in goal
04:59against literally the best player in the world.
05:02Did he give you a clue?
05:03I mean, he hit one down the middle, and I stayed in the middle.
05:06LAUGHTER
05:08Did he hit your full one in the face?
05:10No, no, no, no, no, no.
05:12I kind of put my hands up, but I didn't move.
05:15And you had no clue he was going to do that?
05:17We did a few penalties.
05:19Oh, what number of penalty was this?
05:21648!
05:22LAUGHTER
05:23Day seven!
05:25LAUGHTER
05:27He took five penalties.
05:28One of them, I stayed in the middle.
05:30And, erm, coincidentally, he hit it down the middle,
05:32and I saved it.
05:33And did he score the other four?
05:35Of course he did, he's Mo Salah!
05:37LAUGHTER
05:38If this is false, that is so funny.
05:42You know, everyone said it's so funny that you can't laugh.
05:45LAUGHTER
05:47That's what I tell myself on some gigs.
05:49LAUGHTER
05:51So, is he the true, or he's a really good comedian?
05:54I think it's probably true.
05:56LAUGHTER
05:58Right, Lee, what are you going to say as team captain?
06:00I don't know, I'm torn here, cos he would definitely,
06:02particularly post-strictly, be invited to the Liverpool training.
06:05Yeah.
06:06Definitely.
06:07What bit about this aren't you getting, though, Lee?
06:08What's not selling it for you?
06:10Er, the bit, the way you said that you saved a penalty
06:12against Mo Salah.
06:13LAUGHTER
06:15Come on, then, time to go for your decision.
06:17True.
06:18You think it's true?
06:19True.
06:20Go on, we'll go true.
06:21They're saying it's true.
06:22Chris, was it true, or was it a lie?
06:26I don't know where my buzzer is.
06:28LAUGHTER
06:29Wait, wait, wait, we changed our lives!
06:31LAUGHTER
06:32It's a lie.
06:34Oh, no!
06:35Oh, my God.
06:36APPLAUSE
06:38Yes, it's a lie.
06:40Chris didn't save a penalty from Mo Salah.
06:43Harriet, you're next.
06:45HE CLEARS
06:46I once broke up with someone because he wouldn't stop saying,
06:51get in, after accomplishing simple tasks.
06:54LAUGHTER
06:55Please, team.
06:56LAUGHTER
06:58How long were you with him for?
07:00Erm, three months.
07:01When did you notice the get in?
07:03When was the first time you noticed it?
07:05So he screwed up like some rubbish
07:07and then he threw it at a rubbish bin
07:09and then he went, get in!
07:11And you obviously didn't pick him up on this straight away?
07:13You let him go?
07:14No, at first I was like, oh, that's endearing, you know?
07:16Like, he just really liked saying, get in.
07:18Right.
07:19So he said, get in, but it had already got in.
07:21Sorry, why are you getting involved?
07:22I'm just clarifying!
07:23LAUGHTER
07:25He didn't say, get in, as it were, to it, to get in.
07:28It's not like golf where you go, get in the hole.
07:30It's, they do a thing, get in, as in, didn't I do well?
07:33It's very annoying, isn't it?
07:34It's got in and then he says, get in.
07:36LAUGHTER
07:37You don't think it'd be more irritating to go, went in?
07:41LAUGHTER
07:42Well, I don't know, but it would make more sense.
07:46Let me ask you, grammatically, did he get it in or did he got it in?
07:50He got it in, but did he got it in is not the right way of saying it.
07:53Precisely, so get in works very well.
07:55I think we should get on with it.
07:57Get in!
07:58LAUGHTER
08:00Now, Harriet, give us some other examples
08:03of things he would do that would warrant a get in.
08:06Well, like, if he went outside and it wasn't raining,
08:09he'd go like, get in!
08:11Wow.
08:12Even though he's just got out?
08:14LAUGHTER
08:16Maybe it was a genuine, like, a worry for your welfare.
08:20He was just going, get in.
08:21He did say, like, get in.
08:23Like, if you needed to get in the car, he'd say, get in.
08:25I mean, that's the thing to finish with him for.
08:27If you go into the car and he goes, get in.
08:29LAUGHTER
08:31Then you really need to finish with him.
08:33Especially when he's just opened the boots.
08:36LAUGHTER
08:38What was the final get in that broke your camel's back?
08:42It's a bit upsetting.
08:43Erm, he worried that he had had an accident.
08:46Erm...
08:47What?
08:48You mean in his pants?
08:49Yeah.
08:50And then he changed and he had no way to get in.
08:53LAUGHTER
08:55Oh, my God!
08:56Why did you finish with him?
08:58He sounds like a real cat!
08:59LAUGHTER
09:00LAUGHTER
09:01Can I just say, Harriet, this better be true,
09:07cos if it's a lie, what is wrong with you?
09:09LAUGHTER
09:10Talk about taking joy from the sporting delight!
09:15I haven't wet myself!
09:16Get in!
09:17LAUGHTER
09:18LAUGHTER
09:19LAUGHTER
09:20I can't...
09:21I can't...
09:22I can't...
09:23I can't...
09:24He did it in front of you!
09:25He did it in front of you!
09:26LAUGHTER
09:27All right, it's like something from Jane Austen.
09:28LAUGHTER
09:29But is it true, Julie?
09:30Wow.
09:31Wow.
09:32Oh, my God, this sounds true to me.
09:33Oh, it's traumatic.
09:34I think he sounds nice.
09:35He's, like, full of joie de vivre.
09:36The thing is, there'll be some wife sat next to him on a sofa,
09:38no idea, and then go...
09:39LAUGHTER
09:40I think it has to be true.
09:41I just feel like you'd date someone like that.
09:43LAUGHTER
09:44Two truths, what are you going to say, Lee?
09:45Oh, my God.
09:46Anyway...
09:47I don't know.
09:48I don't know.
09:49I don't know.
09:50I don't know.
09:51I don't know.
09:52I don't know.
09:53I don't know.
09:54I don't know.
09:55I don't know.
09:56I don't know.
09:57I don't know.
09:58I don't know.
09:59I don't know.
10:00I don't know.
10:01I don't know.
10:02I don't know.
10:03Oh, my God.
10:04Anybody else that has said,
10:05no way would you date a man like that?
10:06Harriet, she's dated a man who's looked at his own underpants
10:09and said, get in.
10:10So, you're saying it's true.
10:11They think it's true, Harriet.
10:13Is it true or is it just a lie?
10:16It is...
10:17a lie.
10:18LAUGHTER
10:20APPLAUSE
10:22Very well done.
10:24APPLAUSE
10:26Yes, it's a lie.
10:27Harriet didn't break up with someone who kept saying,
10:30get in.
10:31APPLAUSE
10:32Our next round is called This Is My,
10:33where we bring on a mystery guest who has a close connection
10:35to one of our panellists.
10:37This week, each of Lee's team will claim it's them
10:39that has the genuine connection to the guest.
10:41It's up to David's team to spot who's telling the truth.
10:44So, please welcome this week's special guest, Jillian.
10:47APPLAUSE
10:48So, Yinka, what is Jillian to you?
10:58This is Jillian.
11:00She once called into my radio show to remind me
11:02that I had a dental appointment.
11:04LAUGHTER
11:05Julie, how do you know Jillian?
11:07This is Jillian.
11:09When I was on Coronation Street, she had to walk me to the canteen
11:14hundreds of times because I could never remember the way.
11:17LAUGHTER
11:18Now then, Lee, what's your relationship with Jillian?
11:21This is my wellness guru, Jillian.
11:24We once had a ding-dong when she said that I bonged her gong wrong.
11:29LAUGHTER
11:31So, there we have it.
11:33David's team, where will you begin?
11:35OK.
11:36So, Yinka, explain how this happened about the dentist appointment.
11:39So, I used to do the breakfast show on Capital Extra.
11:42Yeah. Which was...
11:43He knows that!
11:44LAUGHTER
11:45My number one listener over there, Dave.
11:47LAUGHTER
11:52Jillian is the receptionist at my dentist.
11:54And, annoyingly, my dental appointments
11:57kept getting scheduled while I was at work.
12:00And I had already missed two.
12:02And she called up Capital Extra
12:04because she knows that I work there.
12:05Mm-hm.
12:06And my producer thought it would be funny to put her live on air.
12:09You're expecting callers?
12:11Yeah, we were, like, maybe laughing at...
12:13Let's just say Stormsies Shoes.
12:14LAUGHTER
12:15She means Stormsies, the singer, shoes.
12:17Yes.
12:18She doesn't mean Stormsies Shoes like Wellies, David.
12:20OK.
12:21LAUGHTER
12:22We said, hello, caller, where you calling from, what's your name?
12:26And then she was like,
12:27it's Jillian from your dentist office, you've got a hygiene appointment.
12:29LAUGHTER
12:32And you were literally missing it at that point?
12:34Yeah.
12:35What sort of a presenter are you?
12:37Because we're all a bit different, aren't we?
12:39When you inevitably end up on Classic FM.
12:43No, not you, Elliot.
12:45LAUGHTER
12:47I'm talking to Dave.
12:48I asked David once whether he listens to music and he says,
12:53not really, it's just something that happens around me like the weather.
12:57LAUGHTER
12:58LAUGHTER
12:59APPLAUSE
13:01All right, so you have the conversation.
13:05Yeah, so I was like, have I missed my appointment?
13:08And she was like, yeah, it was at nine o'clock.
13:10And I was like, oh, gosh, I'm so sorry, can I rebook it?
13:14And then...
13:15And then...
13:16And live on air.
13:17This is on air.
13:18OK.
13:19Why do you keep making appointments for when you are on the radio?
13:22Yes.
13:23I'm just really bad at that sort of stuff.
13:25When I was making that appointment, I just said yes.
13:27I was like, yeah, that's fine.
13:28And I wasn't really considering the time.
13:31And then, unluckily, it was both at a time you couldn't do
13:34and you never checked when it was.
13:36And that happened twice.
13:37So that very unlikely thing happened twice.
13:41It wasn't very unlikely, it's just what happened.
13:44LAUGHTER
13:48It was very unlikely.
13:49No.
13:50But not impossible.
13:51I think one interesting thing is,
13:54Gillian hasn't opened her mouth once.
13:57You do know she's not meant to talk.
13:59It would be a more weird look to go.
14:02LAUGHTER
14:05Oh, she opened her mouth for a second there.
14:08Did you see teeth?
14:09She's got great teeth.
14:10But whether or not she had teeth...
14:12LAUGHTER
14:13Oh, no, no, that would be relevant.
14:15I'm not sure if it would be an acceptable reason
14:18for officially denying employment,
14:20but the dental practice might think it was the wrong look.
14:24LAUGHTER
14:25There is a thing.
14:26Does Gillian look like the kind of person
14:28that would work in a dental surgery, David?
14:30She looks like the kind of person
14:31that would have a ding-dong if you bonked her gong wrong.
14:33LAUGHTER
14:34David, who would you like to speak to next?
14:37We'll go with Julie next.
14:39OK.
14:40Julie, just remind us.
14:41Yes, so this is Gillian,
14:42and when I was in Corrie,
14:44she walked me to the canteen hundreds of times,
14:47because I could never remember my way there.
14:49How far was the canteen from the set?
14:52Well, the set was in a different building to the canteen,
14:55so you'd have to leave Coronation Street through a door,
15:00down a series of very labyrinthine corridors.
15:05Do you have a bad sense of direction?
15:07A very, very bad sense of direction.
15:10That was a wise answer at that point.
15:13LAUGHTER
15:14No, I'm brilliant.
15:15Never have to show me twice.
15:17LAUGHTER
15:18So I would say that's canning.
15:21How long was you on Coronation Street for?
15:2316 years.
15:24When did you leave?
15:2520...
15:2613.
15:27So what was Gillian's role on the show,
15:30other than showing you to lunch?
15:32Gillian is a make-up artist.
15:35When I first met her, she was a trainee,
15:37and then over my 16 years,
15:38she worked away through the ranks to...
15:40So you first met her 16 years,
15:42when you first began?
15:43Yes.
15:44So 16 add 12.
15:4628 minus her age.
15:50Hang on, what?
15:52LAUGHTER
15:54What you're saying is,
15:55if it's 16 years before 2013...
15:57If she started in 2013,
15:59and then it's 16 years before that,
16:01then this lady is older than she looks.
16:04LAUGHTER
16:06No, that's true.
16:07She wasn't there for the whole time.
16:08Can you remember what year Gillian started?
16:12Possibly 2001.
16:14OK, so then we've got...
16:16We've moved the one,
16:17and then it's 20...
16:19Why are you moving the one off?
16:22I think it's simpler than you think.
16:25LAUGHTER
16:2624 years ago.
16:2824 years ago,
16:29it need to be what?
16:30At least 24.
16:31LAUGHTER
16:33So...
16:34No!
16:35She wouldn't have to be 24,
16:36she's going to be 20.
16:37But then she's a baby.
16:38What?
16:39LAUGHTER
16:40No, not...
16:41But not 20 now!
16:43If she was 20 now,
16:45she'd be minus four then.
16:46LAUGHTER
16:47Surely, when lunch is called,
16:50on the Coronation Street set,
16:52aren't lots of you going to lunch?
16:54The thing is,
16:55is I had a wig in Coronation Street, so...
16:58No-one recognised you?
16:59No-one recognised you?
17:00No, no, no, no.
17:01LAUGHTER
17:02So I would go to the make-up room,
17:04and take my wig off?
17:05Just for lunch?
17:06Yeah.
17:07No, no, she'd have a burger for lunch,
17:08not the wig.
17:09LAUGHTER
17:10And when I came out,
17:11Gillian would be the one,
17:12intersecting me.
17:13All right, now then,
17:14what about Lee?
17:16Yeah, no, that's not true.
17:17LAUGHTER
17:18So, Lee, remind us of your claim.
17:21This is my wellness guru, Gillian.
17:25And we once got in a ding-dong
17:27when she said,
17:28I bonged her gong-rong.
17:30LAUGHTER
17:31Why do you consult a wellness guru?
17:34Because this comes at a price.
17:36LAUGHTER
17:38What is the price?
17:40LAUGHTER
17:42LAUGHTER
17:44The price is going regularly
17:46to my wellness guru.
17:48I don't want to know why you consulted a wellness guru
17:51and what the wellness guru did for you.
17:53Well, I've reached a certain age where I thought,
17:55I'm going to start looking after myself.
17:56Because a few weeks ago, as you know,
17:58I hit 40, and I thought...
18:00LAUGHTER
18:01You know, it's like,
18:02David, you're two years older than me,
18:03and it's time to look after yourself.
18:06I'm not, by the way.
18:07I know I look it and seem it and everything,
18:09but I'm younger.
18:10So, there.
18:11LAUGHTER
18:13Anyway, so, yes,
18:14I decided I was going to start looking after myself,
18:16taking care of myself.
18:17What are you doing to take care of yourself?
18:19She does the oils, the grounding...
18:21What's grounding, Lee?
18:22Grounding is when you take your shoes and socks off,
18:25and you stand on the grass,
18:26and, er, now I describe it,
18:28I am being conned, aren't I?
18:29LAUGHTER
18:31What oils are they?
18:32Lavender.
18:33It's my favourite.
18:35LAUGHTER
18:36I like the... I like the citrus one.
18:38Citrus?
18:39And name one more.
18:40Vegetable.
18:41LAUGHTER
18:43Are these, er...
18:44Are these solo lessons, Lee?
18:46Or are you...?
18:47No, they're quite high up.
18:48Erm...
18:49No, they're...
18:50Are you in a group of other desperate men?
18:51No.
18:52There's about 40 people in the class,
18:53but this particular class is called the gong bath.
18:54Is this like a sound bath?
18:55Correct.
18:56Gillian's the gong banger...
18:57Yeah.
18:58And we are the clients.
18:59And I've always wanted to bang that gong.
19:00Yes.
19:01Because the gong is massive.
19:02So what happened to cause the ding-doll?
19:03Because I said to her,
19:04Gillian, is there any possibility that one week I could bang the gong?
19:07And Gillian said, why not?
19:08It was half an hour in, everyone was in a very meditative room.
19:10And I was in a group of other desperate men.
19:11And I was in a group of other desperate men.
19:12No.
19:13There's about 40 people in the class,
19:14but this particular class is called the gong bath.
19:15Is this like a sound bath?
19:16Correct.
19:17Gillian's the gong banger,
19:18and we are the clients.
19:19And I've always wanted to bang that gong.
19:20Yes.
19:21And Gillian said, why not?
19:24It was half an hour in,
19:25everyone was in a very meditative state.
19:27And she gives me the nudge.
19:28And I'm very pre-cautious, aren't I?
19:30So I...
19:31Pre-cautious?
19:32Yes.
19:33Pre-cautious?
19:34Do you mean just cautious?
19:35I don't think so.
19:36No, no.
19:38I was walking to her thinking,
19:40I'd better be cautious when I get there.
19:41Yeah.
19:42I was pre-cautious.
19:43Yeah.
19:44And...
19:45I went it up to her,
19:49I was in full cautious mode now.
19:51Yes.
19:52This was very much,
19:53in the present sense, cautious.
19:55Yes.
19:56So I hit it.
19:57Boom.
19:58I hit it perfectly,
20:00sweet spot,
20:01right in the middle,
20:02she's happy,
20:03and I'd give it one of those,
20:05touch my hand on it, don't I?
20:06So it's gone.
20:07No.
20:08Boom.
20:14She's had a right ding-dong.
20:16But it was a whispered ding-dong,
20:17because everyone was meditating.
20:18What are you doing?
20:19What are you doing?
20:20Sorry, sorry,
20:21she said what you're doing,
20:22and you said,
20:23what are you doing?
20:24What are you doing?
20:25She is.
20:26Oh, she is.
20:27She's a wellness guru,
20:28shouting at me in a whispered voice.
20:30I'd say that's cause for what are you doing.
20:32Oh, I see.
20:33Idiot.
20:34You've got to be an idiot.
20:36We're people meditating.
20:38We're trying to be spiritual.
20:40You're a guru.
20:41And how was it resolved?
20:43When everyone went out,
20:44she said,
20:45I knew I shouldn't have let you out and go,
20:46and I said,
20:47well, you know, you did,
20:48and you need to calm down a bit if you're a spiritual guru.
20:50She said, I'm not.
20:51I'm a wellness guru.
20:52I said, yeah, sorry,
20:53I forgot what I read out.
20:54And she ended up getting me by my feet,
20:57swinging me around and using my head against the gong.
20:59All right, we need an answer.
21:01Is Gillian Yinka's phone-in friend, Julie's canteen companion,
21:06or Lee's peeved pal?
21:08What do you think about Lee's story?
21:10I think Lee's...
21:11It has all the makings of a story in that it has words.
21:15Apart from that, I don't know if he is well.
21:22What?
21:23What?
21:24Wow.
21:25I mean, I can take it from anybody else.
21:29Of the other two, what are we thinking?
21:34I think Yinka is more believable as a thing that happened than Julie.
21:40Yeah.
21:41I just think you'd learn the way, wouldn't you?
21:44Or you'd start taking a sandwich.
21:46LAUGHTER
21:49Why does she keep making appointments for the same time as she's on live radio?
21:53Yeah, but...
21:54To the point where the receptionist has become so infuriated,
21:58she's rung in and told her live on air.
22:01She's only stood there now to tell her she's got an appointment this evening.
22:04LAUGHTER
22:06What do you think?
22:07I don't know if she has teeth.
22:09LAUGHTER
22:11Cos I haven't seen them.
22:13Who do you think is telling the truth?
22:15Oh, I don't know about that.
22:17LAUGHTER
22:19I'm going to give you a minute.
22:20Chris, do you think it's Yinka, is that right?
22:22Well, do you know what, there was about two-thirds of the way through Lee's
22:24where I was thinking, I can't believe I'm believing Lee here.
22:27The gongwash thing is a thing, he's coming up with words like he means it.
22:30Yeah.
22:32I can't bring myself to say that I think it's Lee.
22:35But do you think it's Lee?
22:37Just nod if you think it's Lee.
22:39LAUGHTER
22:41LAUGHTER
22:43Chris thinks it's Lee, so this is unprecedented territory.
22:47LAUGHTER
22:49Well, now I'm wondering if it is Lee.
22:51LAUGHTER
22:52OK, we'll go Lee.
22:54You're serious?
22:55You're sorry, what do you mean?
22:56Are you serious?
22:57You said you said it was Lee, I'm agreeing with you.
22:58LAUGHTER
22:59Could they all know the same woman?
23:00LAUGHTER
23:01APPLAUSE
23:02So I'm going to say it's Lee.
23:03You're saying it's Lee?
23:04OK.
23:05Gillian, would you please reveal your...
23:06She's got teeth!
23:07LAUGHTER
23:08LAUGHTER
23:09I'm going to say it's Lee.
23:10You're saying it's Lee?
23:11OK.
23:12Gillian, would you please reveal your...
23:13She's got teeth!
23:14LAUGHTER
23:15I'm Gillian, and I used to escort Julie to and from the Corrie canteen.
23:16LAUGHTER
23:17LAUGHTER
23:18Yes, Gillian is Julie's canteen companion. Thank you very much, Gillian.
23:22APPLAUSE
23:24Which brings us to our final round, Quickfire Lives. We start with...
23:26It's...
23:27It's...
23:28It's...
23:29It's...
23:30It's...
23:31It's...
23:32It's...
23:33It's...
23:34It's...
23:35It's...
23:36It's...
23:37It's...
23:38It's...
23:39It's...
23:40It's...
23:41It's...
23:42It's...
23:43It's...
23:44It's...
23:45It's...
23:46It's David
23:50Recently at mealtimes, I've been getting more pleasure than I should from pretending to have finished my pudding
23:58Then when Victoria finishes hers, I can reveal I still have a lot of mine left
24:09The last time you did this what was the pudding it was rice pudding
24:13How are you hiding the rice pudding? We quite often have dinner watching telly
24:18Yeah, and I just put it on the table next to me. It's obscured by a bit of the sofa. They're right
24:24Let's imagine David for a second. Yes, Harriet is
24:28Victoria, okay, show me how you pull the wool over her eyes
24:33All right, go on then let's make it real
24:43Just change seats
24:45Change seats here could it be easier for me to you know make it up. I mean
24:55This is a much better option to pretend that I'm Victoria
25:01Now what are you having tonight so I've never sat here in 19 years. It's I'm the leader now
25:08Yeah
25:10What are you having to see first of all the pudding what's on the telly let's say on the telly size something with a murder like morse or Poirot
25:18love a Poirot
25:20Watch a Poirot and then money they've got just for period vehicles. It's amazing
25:27What we're having is like cheese cakey things, but it's in a kind of ramekin of course useful putting every night
25:34I've had let's say 60% of the pudding. You'd be eating yours as well, please
25:52Just pop it on the table there. There's a lamp there as well. So Victoria Harriet you finished yours now
25:59Mmm
26:01So nice we finished together and then you gaze
26:12Victoria has never said that
26:19This isn't nice
26:21I
26:23Now then at what point do you reach across and play your joker? I just get
26:29Bring it back what I know
26:32Because it's a law of economics isn't it that I wait for an economic environment of greater scarcity
26:38Of a certain commodity and therefore its value is elevated so what I'm eating is by definition better
26:44Than what was eaten earlier and is this what you say to her in the moment?
26:50I know you just gave us like a real fiscal breakdown, but thank you. Why I am having one as well
26:58Can I just say if this is true you've got to stop it's quite hurtful
27:03I feel sad that you did this and I'm not even your wife
27:07She said it's funny. She says it shows what a character. I am
27:11All right, the roleplay is over return to your seas and a round of applause for some lovely
27:23Julie what are you thinking is it the sort of thing he would do I totally buy it you believe it. I think that's fun
27:31What are you thinking Yinka? Yeah, you strike me as the kind of guy who does that sort of stuff
27:37So my team is saying they think it's true David was it true or was it a lie? It was in fact a lie
27:50Yes, it's a lie David hasn't been playing with his pudding
27:54And that noise signals time is up it's the end of the show I can reveal that David's team has won by four points to one
28:07Thanks for watching we'll see you next time good night
28:14Relive New Year with the Jessops on iPlayer comedy starring Alison Steadman a big party and a bucket and red means danger on BBC one
28:23There's a pretty big secret in the castle watch your back the traitors is next
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