Journal #3
If I could get a lobotomy i fucking would.
You have infiltrated my mind since I was 15 and I’m turning 19 next year. Even with the no replies that remain constant from my every day(or twice a day)messages that I send, I still think of you.
Are you that set on moving on? You used to break no contact solely based on because you miss me, do you not miss me anymore? Or even if you do why are you not replying, I sent so many openings.
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They say time heals all wounds but only if you let it. I blocked you on all my socials minus number and you can STILL find a way to terrorize me.Maybe I’m doing this to myself. How can I possibly let go of someone I was supposed to marry.
Also I dont believe that shit of “ If its meant to be he will come back” like what????? If God placed you there, there is a purpose. When the purpose is achieved they will go.
I need to start trusting the Lord more but ultimately its so hard when I dont know what the big picture is like. Lord please show me a sneak peek of ur plan please. One little peek.
Anyway past that, I HATE LOVE URGHHHHHHH( only love that my mummy, girl friends and the Lord give is acceptable) ANYTHING ELSE IDW IT.
