Journal #7
I saw him yesterday
The night before I was praying for a text message from him to know that he still misses me. The next evening, I saw him with another girl.
I assume this is God’s way of telling me that he’s not coming back.
What were the odds yesterday? I only went out because I had errands to run and the place that I saw him, I would have passed him if I did not detour to the toilet.
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I saw him in a crowd full of people, we were walking towards each other and for a spilt second I did not recognise it was him. He spotted me first in a room full of people. What was even worse was that he spotted me and moved out of the way in hopes I did not see him. He could not even look me in the eye. He knew well that he was in the wrong.
Remember the saying “ I would light the whole world on fire if I saw you with another girl but when i did I could not even light a match.”
That day, I did not confront him. I did not take a second glance. I walked straight and proud. I did not cry after. This is the way things should be between the both of us.
Lord eventually I hope he looks back and realises he lost the girl who loved him the most. I hope he thinks of me when gracie abrams is playing, whenever he sees the colour pink, when he purchases a jellycat, when looking at the sunsets by the beach, when a new girl traces his hand to sleep, I hope he realises what he lost. I had faults in the relationship but this is not my fault. I did the absolute best I could and I’ll never be ashamed of that. Lord, I hope he realises this and never text me again.
I still wish him the absolute best but I hope I never have to hear it.
