Journal #6
I still think of you
Today was F1’s final race and i should not have checked your snap map but i did and you were there. It pains me that I should have been there with you instead of another girl or your friends.
I should have been there.
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You told me this once that you could not go no contact with me because you just miss me too much. So why have I not received a text from you? It has been 1 month and 6 days that I have heard from you.
What happened to this. What happened to the guy who would try to reach out to me. Right now, you’re as good as dead. You’re as good as us being on different planets, MILES away from each other but in reality you are just a 20 minute drive away.
Would you even let me in now? If you saw me standing outside would you welcome me in with open arms, give me a kiss and tell me how much you have missed me? Realistically, you would tell me to go home and that our relationship is not worth saving now.
I would do anything in my power to keep you.
My cell group leader once told me that I do not have to prove my worth to someone. I refuse to accept that. All the time I feel like i have to prove that I am worth it all. Worth all the pain, hurt and I would not even complain if I was with you.
Im sorry that there is no Godly reminder today because I can’t think of any that I have yet to say. But Lord for today’s prayer, I pray for just one text from him. I need to know that he still thinks of him, that I’m significant in his life. I just need to know. Please.
