16/9/26
19:32
i’m okay, i just woke up from a nap. just laying on the bed, trying to empty my head and feel less bloated. food count? i actually ate a lot today, jeez. rice & ewa, ewa with bread like four hours later. the binge eating wanted to sneak in/slip through but i caught it lol.
they say look within so i’m doing exactly that. why are my days the same, why am i in a loop? maybe because i’m scared of escaping this familiar but hellish reality. maybe i’m still waiting for what has passed to be reverted. maybe it’s that tiny voice in my head telling me to just wait, just stall a bit. but when did i start to feel this way? when did living become even less tolerable and how do i get out?
22:01
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i am going to get tools & attempt giving myself a retwist tomorrow. cant afford to stay waiting for someone all the time. by the time i do rubbish like 4 times, i’ll get it.
22:18
i’m buzzed & listening to some musicccc. its a cool night, im grateful to me for being here and being, generally. i’m so, wow. i’m a lot of complications but i do really make me, me. no one else comes close. none of my past experiences or feelings define me. i am exactly who i think i am and even more. beautiful, sincere, kind, full of love, blessed.
23:04
i’m going to be skipping dinner, actually. i feel full from the day. im dancing for cardio, ill take a shower and say goodnight after. we go again tomorrow.
waitttt my friend made this for me OMGG. i really do like rum ^ ^
