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Top Gear goes large in Season 5, Episode 3 as the Land Rover Discovery and the beastly Dodge Viper are subjected to punishing tests of durability, terrain, and performance. Joanna Lumley joins to bring star power to the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. Off-road work, raw power, and classic TG grit.
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Top Gear goes large in Season 5, Episode 3 as the Land Rover Discovery and the beastly Dodge Viper are subjected to punishing tests of durability, terrain, and performance. Joanna Lumley joins to bring star power to the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. Off-road work, raw power, and classic TG grit.
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MotorTranscript
00:00Tonight, Richard finds the world's maddest car in Switzerland.
00:08An absolutely fabulous star in our reasonably priced car,
00:12and the new Viper attempts to write its own name in rubber.
00:19Good evening, and we start tonight with a truism.
00:22The only reason why anyone bought one of the old Land Rover discoveries
00:26was because they couldn't afford a Range Rover.
00:30Now, though, we've got this new Land Rover discovery,
00:33and on the face of it, things aren't quite so simple.
00:37MUSIC PLAYS
00:59Let's go through the headlines first.
01:02With seven seats, it's more practical than a Range Rover.
01:06It's bigger than a Range Rover, more powerful than a Range Rover,
01:10faster than a Range Rover,
01:12and with prices starting at £27,000,
01:15it's quite a lot cheaper than a Range Rover as well.
01:20It all sounds great, but if you dive behind the headlines,
01:25the story's less rosy.
01:29First of all, it's a lot bigger than the old Disco, as you can see.
01:34But with the back seats in place,
01:37the boot is not what you'd call commodious.
01:43Then there's the problem of actually getting into those back seats,
01:47because what you've got to do is put the headrest down,
01:50tilt that, and then lift the whole seat up like so.
01:54Now, this works well and very easily in the world of TV.
01:59But in the real world, I'm not so sure.
02:06You see, in the real world,
02:08discoveries tend to be bought by people who have children.
02:12And if you get back to your car carrying a Harry,
02:16how are we going to do that with one arm?
02:22Someone wasn't thinking.
02:24There's more evidence of that, too, with this control panel,
02:27which allows children in the back to adjust the volume
02:29and the radio station.
02:32Oh, I'd love that.
02:33Oh, I'd really love that.
02:38As a family car, then, this is beaten by the Volvo XC90,
02:42which, incidentally, is a lot cheaper.
02:52There's another problem, too.
02:54For complicated production reasons,
02:56this car has a sort of monocoque chassis
02:59like you get on a Range Rover.
03:01And then it's got a separate chassis,
03:04like you got on the old disco.
03:07So it's got two chassis.
03:12As a result, it weighs 2.7 tonnes,
03:16and that makes it heavier than a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
03:20It's so heavy that if you were to load it up with stuff
03:26and then hitch up a trailer to the back,
03:28technically, you'd need an LGV licence.
03:35And then there's the performance to think about.
03:38I've got a turbo diesel engine in this one.
03:41It's from Jaguar, and it's brilliant.
03:42Very smooth and very refined.
03:45But putting it in a car this heavy
03:47is a bit like trying to move the moon out of orbit
03:51using the motor from a food blender.
03:54Put your foot down and, come on, kick down.
03:56It doesn't really happen.
04:05You can solve the problem
04:06if you go for the 4.4-litre petrol V8,
04:10which is also from Jaguar.
04:12But if you do that,
04:13you won't be driving past too many of these.
04:16I don't want you to get the impression, though,
04:24that the new Discovery is a bad car,
04:27because, in some ways, it's very good.
04:30First of all, it's a handsome-looking brute.
04:33Looks like the kind of thing
04:34you might expect to find on a lunar space station.
04:39Inside, it's nowhere near as stylish as a Range Rover,
04:42but nor is it as utilitarian as a bomb.
04:46And you do get an awful lot of equipment as standard.
04:50Seems well-made, too,
04:52which is odd for those who know Land Rovers of old.
05:02On top of all this, it's really not bad to drive.
05:05I mean, it's not as luxurious, let's say, as a Range Rover,
05:08but for something this high,
05:10it doesn't roll in the corners as much as you might think,
05:13and the ride's exceptional.
05:14But then, of course, it would be,
05:16because it's got two chassis.
05:18It doesn't go over bumps,
05:20it just flattens them.
05:21Poof!
05:22Now, we could sit here all day long, frankly, with me saying,
05:33oh, I don't really like that, but I quite like that.
05:35But there's no point,
05:36because overall, I like the new Discovery.
05:39I like the way that it no longer feels
05:42or looks like the Range Rover's rather stupid rural cousin.
05:48And yet, it still feels like the real deal.
05:53It may end up being used in Shepherd's Bush,
05:56but unlike most of the other Chelsea tractors you can buy these days,
05:59it feels like it could also be used by Shepherds.
06:03in the bush.
06:08In fact, Land Rover are adamant that,
06:11despite the air conditioning and the thick carpets,
06:13this car does work on the rough stuff.
06:18To find out whether it really does work off-road,
06:23I've come up with one hell of a challenge.
06:26See, I'm going to try and drive this car
06:29to the top of that mountain.
06:34And no-one has ever driven a car up there before.
06:37Ever.
06:45This is Mount Cron and Rykodan,
06:48which stands at the top of Scotland,
06:511,007 feet above sea level.
06:53When you examine the terrain,
06:56it's easy to see why no car's ever been to the top before.
07:00There are rocky outcrops, peat bogs,
07:02sheer cliff faces, the lot.
07:05This is going to be quite a trip.
07:10And we'll be picking that up later on in the show.
07:13Now, though, it's time to do the news.
07:16And we'll start the news with the new discovery.
07:19The first one has been delivered to a man in Northern Ireland,
07:22and we have a picture of the event.
07:25That's amazing!
07:27Now, the question here, I think, is not why, but how.
07:31How did a helicopter lift that?
07:33I mean, that's a puma, isn't it?
07:35Yeah, that's for sort of small tanks.
07:37Yeah, I mean, they're easy compared to a discovery.
07:40I think it would have been easier to attach the helicopter
07:42to the world and pull the whole planet round
07:45until the car was near the man's house.
07:46Less ambitious project.
07:47More than do that.
07:48Yeah.
07:48We've actually got a photograph of a road in Japan, actually,
07:52that had been used as a test route for the discovery.
07:54I think we can show that to you.
07:55There you are.
07:57That's the kind of damage you can do with one of those things.
08:00Right, news of another car.
08:02Can I show you?
08:02It's the PT Cruiser Cabriolet.
08:04Have a look at this.
08:06Now, I have one question.
08:09Well, I got one question.
08:12How much don't you want that car?
08:15I mean, seriously.
08:16No, seriously.
08:17How much is it?
08:18It's 17 and a half.
08:19Oh, I can't even look at it.
08:2117 and a half thousand pounds.
08:23I would rather eat 17 and a half thousand pounds in pound coins.
08:29I'd rather eat 17 and a half thousand pounds worth of gravel.
08:32All other than that.
08:34You know how Socrates died?
08:36No.
08:37Hemlock.
08:37You drank hemlock.
08:39Because the option he was offered was to have a Greek soldier,
08:43and this is true, put his fist up his bottom and pull his heart out.
08:49Enjoy your team.
08:49It's a true story, or you can drink hemlock.
08:51I'd rather have the Greek soldier...
08:55Go on.
08:57Oh, this smart.
08:59Oh, my heart's coming down my back,
09:01passes, but at least I haven't got a PT convertible.
09:04That's perfectly fair enough.
09:05What the hell were they thinking of?
09:07Look at all this business.
09:08It's so awful.
09:10Hey, now, you know the Bugatti Varian?
09:12That thing?
09:13Are you familiar?
09:13Yeah, it's this Volkswagen-Bugatti,
09:15and so we're going to make a supercar that's got a thousand horsepower,
09:18which sounds great,
09:19but they haven't yet worked out how such a thing might be possible.
09:21They just said it.
09:22They just said it.
09:23Anyway, they're still working away on it.
09:24Now, the people that were making all the sort of perfume
09:26and the leather wash bags that were going to go with it,
09:29you know, Bugatti-branded stuff,
09:30got bored with waiting,
09:31so they're all starting to launch the stuff,
09:32and the latest, right, is this watch, okay?
09:35This is a Bugatti Varian watch that I'm wearing.
09:39Very nice.
09:39Okay?
09:40Now, you can't see the face there,
09:41because when you hold the steering wheel,
09:43okay, like this,
09:44see?
09:45Look at that.
09:46That's where the clip face is,
09:48because when you're holding the steering wheel,
09:51if you don't want to look at the clock on the dash for whatever reason,
09:55you can look at your wristwatch without taking your hand off the steering wheel.
10:00Hey, that's...
10:01Guess how much it is?
10:03No idea.
10:04A grand?
10:06140,000.
10:08No!
10:09No!
10:10And it's absolutely hideous.
10:13The ridiculous thing is,
10:15is that time to do it up,
10:16it took three men,
10:18three men to help me put it on.
10:21I was like, how does this clip work?
10:22Because honestly, it just, you do,
10:24you need a butler to help,
10:25work that out.
10:26That's 140 grand for a watch commemorating a car that doesn't exist.
10:31And never will exist.
10:33That's amazing.
10:34Oh, I've got some very bad news.
10:37Britain's common toad, apparently,
10:40according to environmentalists,
10:41is facing extinction.
10:43Oh, Lord.
10:44It's going to become Britain's uncommon toad.
10:46Obviously, yeah.
10:47And the reason is,
10:48according to a report I read this week,
10:51is that, um,
10:52well, basically,
10:53it's not your fault,
10:54because you live in town,
10:54it's your fault,
10:56and my fault,
10:57for living in the countryside,
10:58where we drive too fast.
11:01Apparently,
11:01when you're pootling along at 30 or 40 miles an hour,
11:04it's okay,
11:05but now we're doing 50 or 60,
11:07the toad is being killed.
11:09But this doesn't make any sense,
11:11because...
11:12If you run over a toad...
11:13It's a dead toad,
11:14I mean...
11:16It's not going to lie there,
11:17going,
11:18oh, thank God,
11:19he was only going 30,
11:20in his discovery.
11:22It's right.
11:23Thanks, mate.
11:24Thanks so much.
11:25Slowly going over it.
11:27Let me, cheers.
11:29The great thing is, of course,
11:30is you know how all of these pressure groups,
11:32they always have to have the snappy,
11:34sort of, sound bite.
11:35They've got a great one here, right?
11:37Go on, what is it?
11:39They've spent hours working on this one.
11:41Go on.
11:42Speed kills,
11:44and it kills more toes.
11:47I've got to have that as a sticker.
11:49Speed kills it.
11:51I slow down for toes.
11:55Now, from California.
11:57This is already law in California,
11:58and it might well be coming here.
12:00Dogs are going to be obliged
12:01to wear seatbelts in cars.
12:04I know, look,
12:05here's a picture,
12:06here you go.
12:08I'll tell you what's happening here.
12:10They've taken away all our fun.
12:11We can't do anything now, can we?
12:12We can't drive fast,
12:13do anything we want to do.
12:14So, they're picking on dogs.
12:16Because, no, bear with me,
12:18you've got dogs,
12:18you know this.
12:19Dogs don't have much fun in their lives.
12:21In fact, there's only one fun thing
12:22you can do if you're a dog,
12:23and that's hang your head
12:24out the car window,
12:25and all this stuff.
12:28And then another dog,
12:29you make,
12:29oh, mate,
12:30goes the other way.
12:31No, that is all,
12:32and they're stopping them.
12:33They're stopping, yeah.
12:34But the extraordinary thing is,
12:35where's that report?
12:36Because I read that.
12:37This was my favourite bit in it,
12:38okay?
12:39It says that if you have an accident
12:40with a dog in the back,
12:41and you're doing 30 miles an hour,
12:43your dog turns into a baby elephant.
12:45Apparently, so.
12:47How does that work?
12:49Your dog?
12:50My border collie is that.
12:52My other dog, yeah?
12:52Not the boardmaster of the other one.
12:53My border collie was in a crash,
12:55in a car,
12:55and she's not an elephant.
12:57Does she not do this and get buns,
13:00like,
13:00and hose her own back down?
13:01No, not that.
13:02She doesn't have a little monkey
13:03on her back with a fez on or anything.
13:04I've done all the standard elephant tests,
13:06and she is,
13:07as far as I can tell,
13:08still a border collie.
13:09Is that the end of the news?
13:11No.
13:12No, it's not the end of the news.
13:15Right, there's a whole load of race series.
13:16It's all run around the world,
13:17and they're all rubbish.
13:18They're all boring.
13:19And a particularly boring one
13:20is the GT thing.
13:21It's for, like, 911s and Listers,
13:23and nobody watches,
13:23and it's on Sky 48
13:24at 3 o'clock in the morning.
13:25Anyhow,
13:26next year,
13:27Ferrari are entering it
13:29with a 575.
13:31Lamborghini are entering it
13:32with a Murcielago.
13:34Maserati have built this,
13:35which is the MC12.
13:37That's going to be in it.
13:38So it sounds great,
13:39if a bit Italian.
13:41But I've got some good news for you.
13:43This is Britain's entry.
13:45It's the Aston Martin DBR9.
13:49Now, you can buy one
13:49for half a million quid,
13:51although you can't use it on the road
13:52because it's a racing car.
13:54Look.
13:57Now, look at the problem here.
13:59You see this spoiler?
14:00Cut a toad clean in half,
14:02that thing.
14:03What we've got, in essence,
14:04is a DB9 chassis,
14:06DB9 body,
14:07although it's made of carbon fibre,
14:09DB9 engine,
14:10tuned to develop
14:11600 brake horsepower.
14:14And it only weighs 1.1 tonnes.
14:16Now, you see those little
14:17carbon fibre holes down there?
14:18Those things.
14:19When it races in America,
14:20there are going to be lights in those.
14:21OK?
14:22And when one's on,
14:23it's winning.
14:24Two on, second.
14:25Three on, it's third.
14:26Now, what I want
14:27is one on all the time.
14:29Yeah.
14:30I want it to wipe the smile
14:32off Ferrari's face.
14:33Yes.
14:34Yes.
14:35In fact,
14:36that should be this car's mission.
14:38That's all it's for from now on.
14:39Definitely.
14:40Right, now, every week,
14:41we get emails and letters
14:43from children asking,
14:44which is the craziest car in the world?
14:47Well, that sounded like
14:48a bit of a challenge.
14:49Now, you might think Japan
14:54to find the maddest cars,
14:55or America,
14:56but no,
14:57you have to come to that
14:58hotbed of European craziness,
15:00Switzerland.
15:01And that's a bit odd
15:02because the Swiss
15:03aren't big on cars.
15:05They don't have a motor industry
15:06and they don't even allow motorsport
15:08in case someone goes too fast.
15:14Despite all that,
15:16there is some pent-up car passion
15:18in this place.
15:19And every so often,
15:20like a volcano,
15:21it goes off.
15:32This is the Bedouin.
15:34It's the creation of Rinspeed,
15:35a Swiss company that specializes
15:37in making one-off cars
15:39for well-heeled petrolheads
15:41all over the world.
15:44It started out as a 911
15:46and then it was turned
15:47into a sort of
15:48300,000-pound Versace pickup.
15:51But because it's got twin turbos,
15:53it'll still do 0-60
15:54in under six seconds.
16:02Fabulous.
16:04But I can sense you're wanting
16:06a little more surrealism.
16:09So let's look at the details,
16:10shall we?
16:10The gear knob is none of your
16:16Halford's £2.99 rally special jobs.
16:19Oh, no, this one is crystal.
16:21And in fact,
16:22the whole of the interior
16:23isn't just clad in sumptuous leather.
16:25It is liberally swathed
16:27in Swarovski crystal.
16:30Nice.
16:30Think of it as a kind of
16:32Swiss Porsche Liberace.
16:34But the fun isn't over yet.
16:36Oh, no, because it does this.
16:42Possibly the most
16:43over-engineered boot lid
16:45in the world.
16:47Superflare!
16:48The Rinspeed workshops
16:52are hidden away
16:53in the Swiss mountains,
16:55where they're guarded
16:56by killer cows.
17:00And inside the lair,
17:02strange and wondrous machines
17:04are created.
17:07It's as though Q
17:08has been hijacked
17:09by the Bond baddies
17:10and put to work
17:11in secret labs
17:12in the mountains.
17:13And the results are amazing.
17:14This thing runs on gas
17:16and kind of tilts
17:17in the middle.
17:18And that one
17:18has got a hovercraft
17:19on the back.
17:20And that one,
17:21don't even get me started.
17:22And this is well worth a look.
17:32The Presto.
17:33It's based on
17:34a Mercedes A-Class.
17:36I know,
17:36not the most exciting of starts.
17:38It does have clever tail lamps,
17:39but whoopee-doo.
17:41But it does have
17:42another trick.
17:43You see,
17:43I think there must be
17:44a bit of a parking problem
17:45in Switzerland,
17:46because this
17:46is a four-seater roadster.
17:48It's quite long.
17:50But at the touch
17:51of a button...
17:51That is impressive.
18:00But remember,
18:01we're looking for
18:01the maddest car
18:03we can find.
18:04So,
18:05onward.
18:05And so we come to what is,
18:17I think,
18:18the holy grail
18:19of cars
18:19that are just
18:20out there.
18:22This is Freddy.
18:24He's Swiss.
18:26He has to be with me
18:27for reasons
18:28I shall explain
18:28in a moment.
18:29This car has a 750cc engine
18:34from a snowmobile,
18:36and that's interesting,
18:37but not amazing.
18:40It would cost you
18:41just under £900,000,
18:43and while that is
18:44pretty astonishing,
18:45we're not quite there yet.
18:48So what is it about this car
18:49that makes it
18:50the one we've come to see?
18:52Well,
18:57it's called
18:57the Splash,
18:59and there's a clue.
19:02Because this
19:03is the world's
19:04first
19:05hydrofoil car.
19:14The rear spoiler
19:16folds down.
19:18Other spoilers
19:19deploy from the side
19:20and fold out.
19:22And all of a sudden,
19:23we're flying
19:28on the water
19:29in a car.
19:31Yes!
19:38I'm scared
19:39but strangely thrilled.
19:47So,
19:48it took a few attempts.
19:50I had to come
19:50to Switzerland.
19:52but I think
19:52we've finally done it
19:54with learned
19:54what has got to be
19:55the fattest car
19:57in the world.
20:02Very good.
20:07£900,000.
20:09Oh, yes.
20:10Yes.
20:10And it's a sort of
20:11boat, car, plane.
20:12Flying thing.
20:13Yeah, and therefore,
20:13I think the craziest car ever.
20:15Unless, of course,
20:15you know any better.
20:16In which case,
20:17let us know.
20:17Absolutely.
20:18Absolutely.
20:19But now,
20:19it is time to put a star
20:21in our reasonably priced car.
20:23Ladies and gentlemen,
20:24Diana Lumley!
20:24Hi there.
20:28How are you?
20:28How are you?
20:30Have a seat.
20:36Now, this is an honour.
20:38This is a proper honour
20:39to have you here.
20:40It really is.
20:41I'm so thrilled.
20:42I watch this every week.
20:43You do?
20:43Yeah.
20:44You're even a fan of the show.
20:45Yeah.
20:45What else is on
20:46on Sunday nights?
20:47I'm sure most people
20:48can find something
20:48better to watch, frankly.
20:50Now, the thing is
20:51is that you sound
20:51like a blue blood.
20:52Yeah.
20:53But I've been reading up on you
20:54and it sounds like
20:55there might be a bit of petrol
20:56going on in those veins.
20:57It's there.
20:57It's running through.
20:58Really?
20:58Ever since, yeah.
20:59Ever since I can remember,
21:00I liked cars above dolls.
21:02I used to have a little garage
21:04when I was young.
21:05And I've still got a collection
21:06of little tin cars.
21:08Your first love affair
21:09was with a Rolls Royce.
21:10Yeah.
21:11Why is that?
21:12Because somebody
21:12knocked on the door
21:13and said,
21:14John, there's a car outside.
21:15You know, it's 550.
21:16Do you want to look down?
21:17I looked out the window
21:17and I went,
21:18it's a Rolls Royce.
21:19And he said,
21:19yeah, just 550.
21:21550 pounds?
21:22Yeah.
21:22She was peachy.
21:23It was a silver race,
21:241949,
21:25with running boards
21:25and big Lucas headlamps.
21:27And it had windscreen wipers
21:29that you had to take
21:30both your hands off the wheel
21:31and start them like that.
21:34An interesting idea.
21:35I'm surprised I didn't catch on.
21:36And the doors opened
21:37like that.
21:38So sometimes,
21:38if I hadn't shut it properly,
21:39they'd fly over,
21:40take a cyclist away.
21:41Back.
21:42But then they're quite useful
21:43because you did the whole
21:44Lucy Clayton finishing school thing,
21:46didn't you,
21:46about how to get in and out of cars.
21:48Yes, knees together,
21:49smile, hand, thank you.
21:51All that.
21:52Sitting like that.
21:53But you do learn
21:53how to get out
21:54without showing your knickers,
21:55don't you?
21:55Yes, you have to.
21:56Because they always think
21:57you're going to be taken out
21:57of knee-type Jag.
21:58And of course,
21:59you never have a boyfriend
22:00who's got knee-type Jag.
22:01Never.
22:01You know,
22:02they go by two my boyfriends.
22:04So that was a bit sad
22:05and a waste of time.
22:05And also,
22:06I didn't want to sit there.
22:07I think there's something
22:08so sad about women
22:09just sitting in a car.
22:10The car's come to a stop,
22:11they've switched it on,
22:12they said,
22:12here's the restaurant, dear.
22:14And you sit there
22:15as if you've suddenly
22:15become completely disabled.
22:17Why?
22:18You've got your own handle here,
22:19can't you get out?
22:20No,
22:20they've got to sit there like that,
22:21looking at them come round their thing.
22:22Now,
22:23I sat next to someone
22:23at dinner the other day
22:24with a bottle of wine
22:25and she wouldn't pour it
22:26for herself.
22:27Oh, I hate that.
22:27Just pour it.
22:28Just pour the stuff.
22:28Just pour them down.
22:29You're thirsty.
22:30Actually, I don't know
22:30what I hate most
22:31is waiters who pour that
22:31and put it in a bottle
22:32of the day
22:33and they wouldn't have
22:33paid for it.
22:35Yes,
22:35she would put it there
22:36and bring another one
22:37while you're at it.
22:38Yes.
22:38Now,
22:38you actually stalked a car
22:40as well at one point.
22:41Oh,
22:41I fell in love.
22:43Properly and deeply in love.
22:44It was,
22:44I don't know the right name for it
22:45but you can tell me,
22:46it was one of those
22:46Bentley Continentals
22:47frog back.
22:49Do you know the one
22:49which goes down to
22:50somebody here or no?
22:52With,
22:52with anybody here
22:53know what that
22:54Bentley Continental
22:54was called?
22:56No,
22:56Subarus they're good at.
22:57Bentley's.
22:59So we can dub this in later.
23:01I'll just go
23:01the Bentley Continental
23:02and they can just
23:03dub it in the right.
23:04No, no, I'll,
23:04I'm not going to look good
23:05so I'll go,
23:05Ovi.
23:07I know the one.
23:08And it was dark,
23:08dark blue
23:09and it was in Knightsbridge
23:10and I saw it
23:11and I thought
23:11I must have that car.
23:13Drove around Knightsbridge,
23:14got around another time of day,
23:15saw it,
23:16saw where it was
23:16parked,
23:17wrote a note,
23:18put it on the windscreen
23:19to the,
23:20to the Bentley.
23:20I said,
23:20I just adore you.
23:22Be mine.
23:23If you're ever going
23:24to be sold,
23:24get your man to phone
23:25this number,
23:26phone me
23:26and I will buy it.
23:27I will buy it.
23:28And?
23:29Complete standoff.
23:30Nothing.
23:31Nothing.
23:31And you said
23:32it's Joanna Lundley.
23:33No.
23:34No.
23:34I thought that would be
23:36a bit pushy.
23:37I'd have run.
23:38You could have
23:38pretty much anything
23:39you wanted really
23:39if you leave a note on.
23:41Michael,
23:42were you never tempted
23:42by,
23:43you know,
23:43the exotic Ferraris
23:45and so on?
23:45Yeah,
23:46I was so tempted
23:48by an exotic Ferrari
23:49that my husband,
23:50Stephen,
23:50who's here today,
23:51and I,
23:52at a charity auction,
23:53we went and went,
23:53oh,
23:54you know,
23:54things,
23:54oh,
23:55a little bottle of wine
23:55there and you get
23:56this raffle there.
23:57So I go,
23:57oh,
23:57it's a Ferrari,
23:58all shown on the tilt
23:59like that.
24:00crimson with the lid
24:02off and you go,
24:02that's gorgeous.
24:04When the bidding comes,
24:05your arm starts
24:05going like this
24:06and so we bought it.
24:06After you've drunk
24:07some wine.
24:07We gave it some of that.
24:08Wait,
24:08I'll leave the bottle here.
24:09Give it some of that.
24:10And suddenly,
24:11we owned the Ferrari.
24:12We owned this 328
24:13boy racer red Ferrari.
24:16But then,
24:16the difficulty,
24:17of course,
24:17as you know,
24:18living in London
24:18is where we live
24:19in South London.
24:20They've built
24:20some colossal road bumps,
24:22some of them
24:22as big as that.
24:23It's like a bungalow.
24:29We're coming up
24:30to the canal turn,
24:31everybody lean back.
24:33But listen,
24:33on the Ferrari,
24:34you'd get onto the top
24:34of one and then
24:35little wheels are going
24:35out of the road.
24:37But did you ever,
24:38did you ever think
24:39then about getting
24:39a 4x4?
24:40Because that's what I,
24:41you know,
24:41they keep saying,
24:41well,
24:42we build these speed bumps
24:42and then they...
24:43We've got a 4x4.
24:44You've got a 4x4?
24:45Yeah,
24:45it's a Lexus.
24:46I'm sorry.
24:49You wanted me to say that
24:51and I've said it.
24:52No,
24:52I didn't know what it was.
24:53It is also one of those
24:53RX 300s.
24:55Can it actually cope
24:56when it gets to a sign
24:57saying welcome to Scotland
24:59or...
25:00Welcome to Scotland,
25:01little foot down a bit,
25:02120 miles an hour.
25:03Really?
25:03And although I never
25:04break the speed limit.
25:08But of course now,
25:09I was discussing actually
25:10with the audience
25:11before you came out here.
25:12Yeah.
25:13What you are,
25:13are you Patsy?
25:14Yeah.
25:15Or are you Purdy?
25:16See, to me,
25:16where are you?
25:17Patsy or Purdy?
25:18Patsy?
25:19Patsy?
25:20Yeah,
25:21but you see,
25:21what you're not going
25:21to realise,
25:22we've got a photograph here,
25:23okay?
25:24Look at that
25:24in the New Avengers
25:26as Purdy.
25:27That's right.
25:28That is quite a look,
25:29isn't it?
25:29It was quite something.
25:31Look at that person.
25:32Just fantastic.
25:33You know,
25:33our producer
25:34told me that he sent off
25:36for this photograph
25:37when you were
25:38in the New Avengers.
25:39Did he?
25:39Yeah,
25:40do you know
25:40what he got back?
25:40What?
25:41A picture of Gareth Hunt.
25:44Now,
25:45in this,
25:45of course,
25:46you had a...
25:46I had a TR7.
25:48They thought Purdy,
25:48but I wanted a stag,
25:50because that was the,
25:50the trance stag
25:51was a very pretty little car,
25:52just come out,
25:53looked beautiful,
25:54good lines.
25:55But they had a deal
25:56with British Leyland,
25:57and I think it would,
25:58is TR7 a British Leyland?
25:59Yeah,
25:59it was,
25:59yeah.
26:00TR7,
26:01and so they got
26:02a little yellow car
26:02for me,
26:03because they thought
26:03that would look again,
26:04a little bit cute
26:05and girly,
26:05but still.
26:05It was a truck to drive.
26:08It was a really hard little car,
26:10but I had to do
26:11handbrake turns
26:12and sort of skid the bum
26:13into the camera
26:14and things occasionally,
26:15which I learnt.
26:15Again,
26:16you have to learn
26:16how to do them.
26:17I've forgotten now,
26:18I'm ashamed to say,
26:19but then I did learn
26:20how to do a good
26:20handbrake turn
26:21and drive up to the camera
26:22and just slam on the jam.
26:25The crew would be going,
26:26set of underclothes,
26:27please,
26:28you know.
26:29And the other thing,
26:30of course,
26:30with working with
26:31British Leyland,
26:32because Brian Clemens,
26:33who produced
26:34the New Avengers
26:35and then went on
26:35and did the professionals,
26:36always used to say
26:37that British Leyland
26:38never got continuity
26:39and would take the cars
26:40away at the end
26:41of a shoot
26:41and then just send
26:43a completely different car.
26:45Yeah,
26:45completely different.
26:45No, no,
26:46you see,
26:46Purdy's got a yellow
26:47TR7
26:48and you've sent
26:49a blue Dolomite Sprint.
26:50I'm sorry,
26:50but that's all
26:51we've got in the garage
26:52at the moment.
26:52It was just extraordinary.
26:54For some reason,
26:55they just,
26:55Patrick McMead
26:56drove a thing
26:57which we used to call
26:57the Big Cat.
26:58It was a Jaguar.
26:59It was actually
26:59a beautiful car.
27:00The one with the big
27:01flared wheel arches.
27:02Flared wheel arches.
27:03That was the most
27:03fantastic.
27:05Fabulous.
27:05God, it was a good car.
27:06But there were
27:06three of us Avengers now
27:07and so the two chaps,
27:08Gareth and Patrick
27:09was in the front going,
27:09Steve, what do you think?
27:10I don't know, Gambit.
27:11And in the back,
27:12not big enough
27:12for a nodding dog
27:13would be purged
27:14like this,
27:15like this,
27:16trying to talk
27:17through the thing.
27:17Anyway,
27:18I can't imagine
27:19that this ability
27:20to do handbrake turns
27:21and so on
27:21set you up in good stead
27:22really for ab for ab.
27:25Patsy never mastered cars.
27:27Also,
27:28she'd realised
27:28that if you drive a car
27:29you have to fill it up
27:30with petrol
27:30or you have to pay.
27:31Yeah,
27:31neither of which.
27:32And you can't be drunk.
27:34You can't be drunk.
27:35Yes.
27:35And you've got to have
27:35a few of your organs
27:36left inside your body.
27:37She's had most of hers removed.
27:40Anyway,
27:40the thing is,
27:41is that after this
27:42life of car stuff,
27:43Ferraris,
27:44Bentleys,
27:45you wind up here
27:47with our Suzuki Liana.
27:49How was it from the inside?
27:51For some extraordinary reason
27:52I don't think
27:52I've ever been so afraid
27:53in my life.
27:54Really?
27:54Well,
27:54because the Avengers
27:55was 35 years ago
27:56handbrake turns.
27:57Since then,
27:58I've been driving
27:58like what I am,
27:59a grandmother.
28:00Oops,
28:01sorry.
28:02You know,
28:03and all this sort of business
28:04and I let people in
28:05and going faster.
28:06Christian motoring
28:07as we call it here.
28:07Christian motoring.
28:08Christian motoring.
28:09It doesn't work.
28:09And suddenly you're out there
28:10with the Stig
28:11and he's going,
28:11trust me,
28:12you've got to go,
28:13I saw your foot coming
28:14off the pedal,
28:14down again,
28:15down again.
28:15What shall we find out?
28:16Yeah.
28:17Okay,
28:17let's see the lap.
28:21Well,
28:22that's a good aggressive start,
28:23very Avenger-ish.
28:25Was it wet or dry?
28:26It looks like it's in puddles.
28:26It's dry track.
28:27Good.
28:29That's a good line
28:30through the first corner there.
28:32Following the Jodie Kidd principle
28:33of don't be too...
28:35Oh,
28:35wait a minute.
28:36That was the second to last one.
28:38I didn't always do that.
28:38No,
28:39that's the first...
28:39Were we on medication for this?
28:44I've never seen anyone go off
28:46coming out of the first corner.
28:47No,
28:47I only did that once.
28:50Oh,
28:50well,
28:53it's obeying.
28:54Good.
28:55This is the Hammerhead
28:55tricky little corner,
28:57this.
28:59And that's very,
29:00very neat.
29:01That one is.
29:02Was it all right?
29:03That was perfect.
29:05I'm reliving,
29:05but this is memories
29:06of such a...
29:07Did you lift off there?
29:08No,
29:09but I did,
29:09at one stage,
29:10I went,
29:10I did exactly what the stage said.
29:12Look.
29:12There.
29:13There.
29:13There's a lot of hell.
29:17Listen,
29:17I did some tragic stuff
29:18around here.
29:19No,
29:19I like the bravery,
29:23but I like it.
29:25And there we are
29:26across the line,
29:27everybody.
29:32Now then,
29:34it's the moment of truth.
29:37I know.
29:39Where do you think?
29:39I just,
29:40if I get quicker than Terry Wogan,
29:42I'll be happy.
29:44You didn't use a car
29:45to do that.
29:46You could have just walked around
29:48with a dog, perhaps.
29:49So,
29:50your time.
29:51One minute.
29:52Yeah.
29:5250?
29:5450?
29:54Yeah.
29:55So,
29:55we're already up here?
29:5751.5,
29:59ladies and gentlemen.
30:01How about that?
30:02quicker than Jordan?
30:03Quicker than Vinnie Jones,
30:15quicker than Johnny,
30:17well,
30:17he broke the car.
30:18Are you the first?
30:19Did you say you're a grandmother?
30:20Yeah.
30:21That is fantastic.
30:22Without a doubt,
30:24the fastest grandmother
30:25in the world today,
30:26ladies and gentlemen,
30:27Joanna Landry.
30:28Thank you for having me.
30:31Thank you for having me.
30:31Thank you for having me.
30:32Thank you for having me.
30:37Right.
30:39Restoration rip-off.
30:41Here we have five non-runners,
30:43all of them broken,
30:44but all of them historically
30:45interesting in some way.
30:47We can only afford to restore
30:48one of them.
30:49You're going to decide
30:50which one it is
30:51with a telephone phone-in.
30:53I'll be giving you the number
30:54for that in a minute.
30:55Please be ready for it.
30:56Now, so far,
30:57we've seen James Dean's Lotus,
30:59the probe from A Clockwork Orange,
31:01but now,
31:02here's this week's contender.
31:03It's a 1938 Chrysler Wimbledon.
31:14Now,
31:15only 75 of these cars
31:17were ever built,
31:18and I think it's fair to say
31:19that none of them
31:20has lived a life
31:21quite as interesting
31:22as this one has.
31:26Almost as soon as this car was built,
31:29it was given a baptism of fire,
31:31because its first job
31:32was to dodge the bombs
31:33of the London Blitz
31:34during World War II
31:35when it worked as a staff car
31:37at the American Embassy.
31:40Presumably,
31:40that means that all sorts
31:42of fascinating top brass
31:43must have ridden
31:45where I am now,
31:46Winston Churchill even.
31:49After the war,
31:50it continued in much the same way.
31:52It became a minicab
31:53in Buckinghamshire.
31:55But it's in 1971
32:02that the story becomes
32:03really interesting.
32:05That's when this car
32:06falls into the hands
32:07of someone notoriously unhinged,
32:10rock legend,
32:11Who drummer,
32:12and chief mentalist,
32:13Keith Moon.
32:14It joined his fascinating
32:24collection of cars
32:25which included
32:26a Rolls-Royce,
32:27a hovercraft,
32:27and a horse.
32:33Now, legend has it
32:34that Keith Moon
32:35once drove a Rolls-Royce
32:37into a swimming pool.
32:39But professors of rock
32:40are now saying
32:40that this isn't true at all,
32:42and that's where
32:43this car comes into it.
32:44You see,
32:45Moon was so fed up
32:46with hearing this myth repeated
32:47that he decided
32:49to give it some substance.
32:50So he jumped into the Chrysler
32:51and he drove it
32:52into his duck pond.
32:59However,
33:00the pond was empty
33:01at the time,
33:01so he just sort of
33:02splashed through the mud
33:04and came out
33:05the other side.
33:06So,
33:07there was no Rolls-Royce,
33:08there was no swimming pool,
33:10there was just a bit
33:11of light off-roading
33:12in this.
33:16Believe it or not,
33:17the Chrysler still runs,
33:19just,
33:20but it's going to need work
33:21before it can be used
33:22on the road.
33:23An engine rebuild,
33:24new brakes,
33:25some bodywork repairs,
33:26and the interior's
33:27pretty whiffy,
33:28but it's definitely
33:29worth preserving.
33:30It's rare
33:31and has character,
33:33it has this richly
33:34textured history.
33:35But more important
33:36than any of that,
33:38it's rock and roll.
33:38To vote for Keith Moon's
33:45Chrysler,
33:45you ring me
33:46on 09011
33:48110835
33:50and follow the instructions.
33:52You'll also be able
33:52to enter a simple competition
33:54to win a VIP day out
33:56here at the Tom Gear
33:57Test Track.
33:58Yeah,
33:58so get voting.
33:59Now,
34:00I want to talk about
34:01the Dodge Viper.
34:09It was designed
34:11and built in a shed
34:12by a team
34:12of just 17 men.
34:14At the time,
34:17Dodge was strapped
34:18for cash,
34:19so they had to use
34:20whatever they could
34:21lay their hands on.
34:24The 8-litre V10 engine
34:26was taken from a lorry.
34:27The wheel hubs
34:28were lifted
34:29from a pickup truck.
34:30The body was made
34:31from old canoes
34:33and the chassis
34:34from 19th century
34:35railway sleepers.
34:40The end result,
34:42however,
34:43was astonishing.
34:44It had no boot,
34:50no roof,
34:51no windows,
34:52and it handled
34:52like it was drunk.
34:54But so many people,
34:56me included,
34:57loved the raw simplicity
34:59that Dodge
35:01has just made
35:02a new version.
35:07Here is the result.
35:12Of course,
35:13this being a product
35:14of 21st century America,
35:16the health and safety
35:17people have stuck
35:18their noses in.
35:20We have got
35:22warning notices
35:23here and here
35:24which say that death
35:25or serious injury
35:27can occur.
35:28Children,
35:28as well,
35:29can be killed.
35:29The back seat
35:32is the safest place
35:33for children.
35:34right,
35:36this one here
35:38tells me
35:38that the exhaust pipe
35:39can get hot.
35:41This is a good one.
35:42The vehicle may include
35:43mercury-added devices
35:45including
35:45rear seat
35:47video display.
35:49They are fairly determined
35:50it's got back seats
35:51but this, I think,
35:52is the problem
35:52with health and safety
35:53bonds.
35:53They live in a
35:54parallel universe.
35:56This, though,
35:56is my favourite.
35:57The top support
35:58behind the seats,
35:59that's, um,
36:00this,
36:01is not
36:02a roll bar.
36:04This is an
36:05open vehicle,
36:06drive carefully.
36:08No.
36:09If they wanted
36:22me to drive
36:22carefully,
36:24why have they
36:24given me an engine
36:25that's even bigger
36:26than it was
36:27in the old Viper?
36:28It's now
36:29an 8.3 litre
36:31V10
36:31which kicks out
36:32500 brake
36:33horsepower.
36:35And that's
36:35a lot.
36:39That, in fact,
36:40is a hundred
36:40more than
36:41you got
36:41in the old car
36:42and that means
36:43serious performance.
36:480 to 60
36:49takes 3.9 seconds.
36:52Flat out,
36:52you'll be riding
36:53a tidal wave
36:54of thunder
36:55and doing
36:55195 miles an hour.
36:58And this
36:59incredible turn
37:00of speed
37:01is only part
37:02of the makeover.
37:07Anyone familiar
37:08with the old Viper
37:09simply wouldn't
37:10believe the features
37:12that are available
37:12on this one,
37:13the sequel.
37:14I mean,
37:14it has a space
37:15which could be used
37:17for transporting goods.
37:19Look at this.
37:20It has a roof
37:21which can be raised
37:22and then lowered
37:23depending on
37:24prevailing weather
37:26conditions.
37:27I love this.
37:28If you touch
37:28this button here,
37:30glass rises
37:31out of the door.
37:32And I love this.
37:34The pedals
37:35can be adjusted
37:36using electricity.
37:39This car
37:40is so sophisticated
37:42it could write
37:43its own name.
37:54Yep.
37:55There.
37:55It is very impressive,
38:13this writing business.
38:15But if it was really clever,
38:17it would know
38:17it's not called
38:18the Viper anymore.
38:19It's actually called
38:20the SRT-10.
38:22So don't worry.
38:24It may look like
38:25Lord Greystoke,
38:26but underneath
38:26the new suit,
38:28it's still Tarzan.
38:37It's still
38:38an absolute
38:39animal.
38:42It does handle
38:43in the most
38:44extraordinary way.
38:45You get miles
38:46and miles
38:46of grip.
38:47And then
38:51when you reach
38:52the limits
38:52of adhesion,
38:53it kills you.
39:02And because
39:03there's so much
39:04grip from these
39:06hugely fat tires,
39:09you're going
39:10really very,
39:11very fast indeed
39:12when it does
39:13let go.
39:14There isn't
39:16even any
39:16traction control,
39:17which would be
39:18all right
39:18if there was
39:18some finesse
39:19to the suspension.
39:21But there isn't.
39:24Yep.
39:26If you tried
39:27that on the
39:28public road,
39:29you'd be branded
39:30a complete
39:31maniac.
39:32Look at the smoke!
39:34This is a
39:35psycho car.
39:38It is a
39:39mother of
39:40violence.
39:40on the one
39:42hand,
39:43benign and
39:44gentle and
39:44concerned for
39:45your well-being.
39:46And on the
39:46other,
39:47an eggs
39:48murderer.
39:52No European
39:54car is this
39:55wayward.
39:55And what's
39:56more,
39:56if you gave
39:57a European
39:57engineer
39:588,300
40:00cc to play
40:01with,
40:01he'd come
40:02up with a
40:02damn sight
40:03more than
40:03500 brake
40:04horsepower.
40:07We can get
40:08that much
40:08these days
40:09from a
40:09pencil sharpener.
40:10And also,
40:13European cars
40:14are rather
40:15less ostentatious
40:16and vulgar.
40:18We grew
40:18out of
40:19chrome wheels
40:19in 1972,
40:21set in
40:21Cheshire,
40:22perhaps.
40:24And what's
40:25more,
40:25it's not
40:26cheap.
40:26You pay
40:27£80,000
40:28and they
40:28don't even
40:29put the
40:29steering wheel
40:30on the
40:30right side.
40:36Also,
40:37I think
40:37you may
40:38tire,
40:38after a
40:39while,
40:39of the
40:39exhaust
40:40which
40:40run along
40:42here,
40:42setting fire
40:43to everything.
40:45That could
40:45become boring.
40:52So,
40:53it's internal
40:53combustion
40:54with a hint
40:55of spontaneous
40:56combustion.
40:57It's wayward,
40:58it's backward,
41:00and I just
41:01don't care.
41:02it has the same
41:05brutal charm
41:06as the old
41:06one,
41:07really.
41:12It's as
41:13stupid
41:13and as
41:14wonderful
41:15as owning
41:16a pet
41:17elephant.
41:23Good car.
41:25Mad,
41:26but good.
41:27It's a good
41:32car.
41:32Good car.
41:33Good car.
41:38So,
41:39this is a
41:39terrible car.
41:40Oh,
41:40awful.
41:41Absolutely
41:41dreadful.
41:42But you
41:42love it.
41:43Yep,
41:43I do.
41:44And there's
41:44a very good
41:45reason for that.
41:45I love the
41:46barn door
41:46engineering in it.
41:47I mean,
41:47when you change
41:48gear,
41:48it is like
41:49moving the
41:50sort of
41:51lever in a
41:51Victorian
41:52signal box.
41:53And when I
41:54was doing
41:54that name
41:55writing thing,
41:56you know you
41:56can hold the
41:57brake so you
41:57stop the
41:57front wheels
41:58going and
41:58then make
41:58the back
41:59one spin.
42:00And I
42:00was doing
42:00loads of
42:00that and
42:00there was
42:01clutch smoke
42:02pouring out
42:03of here,
42:03but it kept
42:04working and
42:04I really do
42:05admire that.
42:06Brunel,
42:06he would like
42:07this car,
42:08the heavy
42:08engineering in
42:09it.
42:09The big
42:10question is
42:10though,
42:11what's the
42:12Stig going
42:13to make
42:13of it?
42:15Oh,
42:16a lot of
42:16axle tramp
42:17there as he
42:17sets off the
42:18line.
42:18Oh no,
42:19and it's
42:19soaking wet.
42:20That's going
42:21to give the
42:21Stig,
42:22something to
42:23think about
42:23out there
42:23in a car
42:24already,
42:25look,
42:25he's really
42:26wrestling the
42:27wheel there
42:27trying to
42:27keep it
42:28on the
42:28island,
42:29which of
42:30course he
42:30manages to
42:31do beautifully.
42:38Right,
42:39coming up
42:39to Chicago,
42:40this is going
42:40to be
42:41understeer,
42:41oversteer,
42:42every conceivable
42:43type of steer
42:44as he heads
42:45on down
42:45toward the
42:46hammerhead
42:47with the
42:47tail hanging
42:48out.
42:49Part of the
42:49problem we've
42:50got with this
42:50car is the
42:51diff,
42:51it's just
42:52so slack.
42:53Everything
42:54about it's
42:54crude and
42:55awful,
42:56but he's
42:57probably having
42:57more fun
42:58in there than
42:59he did in
42:59the Enzo
42:59last week.
43:04I'm dying
43:04to know,
43:05he must be
43:05doing,
43:05what,
43:0630,
43:0640 miles
43:07an hour
43:07as he goes
43:07around there,
43:08up to
43:09about 55,
43:10but with a
43:10big grin
43:10on his face
43:11as he comes
43:11into the
43:12second to
43:12last corner,
43:13still holding
43:14it together,
43:15and across
43:15the line
43:16in one
43:18minute,
43:1828.5
43:20seconds.
43:24That's
43:24unbelievable
43:25because on
43:28a wet track,
43:29which I want
43:29to do,
43:29wet track,
43:30there's only
43:30half a second
43:31slower than
43:31the BMW M3
43:34CSL.
43:35It's ostentatious
43:36and vulgar
43:36and expensive,
43:37but much,
43:39much faster
43:40than you
43:40might think.
43:42And now,
43:43ladies and
43:44gentlemen,
43:44the moment
43:45you've been
43:45waiting for
43:46all year,
43:47the results
43:47of the
43:48Top Gear
43:482004
43:49motoring survey.
43:51Absolutely.
43:52Now,
43:52this is...
43:52Oh,
43:53please.
43:53You don't
43:53know what
43:54it are yet.
43:55This is the
43:56biggest survey
43:57of its type.
43:58Now,
43:58we can tell you
43:59how fast a car
43:59is and how
44:00it handles.
44:01The important
44:01thing is only
44:02you can tell
44:03us how satisfied
44:04you are with a car,
44:05what it's like
44:05to live with it,
44:06and that's
44:06exactly what
44:07you've done.
44:08And the
44:09most satisfying
44:10car on sale
44:12in Britain
44:12today,
44:13it scores
44:14top marks
44:14in pretty much
44:15everything,
44:16is the
44:18Honda S2000.
44:20It is.
44:20I know.
44:21Well,
44:21Jeremy likes it.
44:24Jeremy loves it.
44:24I mean,
44:25that's all well
44:25and good.
44:25OK,
44:26that's a success
44:26story,
44:27but let's look
44:27at the other
44:28end of the
44:28scale where
44:28the interesting
44:29stuff is.
44:30142 cars,
44:31is it?
44:31142 cars
44:32in the list.
44:33Who wants
44:34to know what
44:34was bottom?
44:35Which is the
44:36least satisfying
44:37car owned
44:38in this country?
44:39Anybody want to
44:39hazard a guess?
44:40What do you think
44:41would come out?
44:41Ford Fiesta?
44:42What?
44:43Subaru's.
44:44Subaru's don't
44:44break.
44:45They'll just go on
44:46forever and ever.
44:47Fiat Panda.
44:48Fiat Panda.
44:49There's none left.
44:50Oh, you mean the
44:51new one?
44:52I don't think
44:52anybody knows yet.
44:53Shall I tell you?
44:54I'll tell you.
44:55It's a Mercedes
44:56M-Class.
44:57It's that.
44:58This is it.
44:59Here it is.
45:00You voted for this
45:01as the least
45:02satisfying car.
45:03Actually, for
45:03Mercedes, the
45:04whole thing was a
45:05bit of a disaster
45:05because they have
45:06six of their cars
45:07in the bottom
45:08third of the
45:10survey.
45:10And what you
45:11told us was it's
45:12not so much the
45:12cars.
45:13They're all right.
45:13They've got their
45:13problems.
45:14It's the dealers.
45:15You go in to have
45:16them fixed and
45:17you're let down.
45:17You don't get the
45:18service you want.
45:19So, Mercedes,
45:20you've been told.
45:21Now, an interesting
45:21thing about the
45:22bottom ten is that
45:23seven of them are
45:25French.
45:25And this survey
45:25also shows us that
45:27seven out of the
45:28ten worst smelling
45:30cars in Britain are
45:31French.
45:31But I don't get
45:32that.
45:34No, it's because
45:35they don't wash.
45:36No, no, but I
45:37mean, it's just what
45:38they smell like when
45:38they're new.
45:39It's what the inside
45:40of the car smells like
45:41when they're new.
45:42And if it's French,
45:42frankly, it smells of
45:43merde.
45:44I can tell you, if
45:45you actually look at
45:46the top, towards the
45:47top of the list, so
45:48we're being positive
45:48again, there are,
45:49what, seven Japanese
45:51cars.
45:51Seven Japanese in the
45:52top ten.
45:52Which is not a big
45:53surprise.
45:53Two Skolas, again,
45:54perhaps not a
45:55surprise now.
45:56Anybody want to
45:56hazard a guess what
45:57the second-placed car,
45:58the second-most
45:59satisfying car to
46:00own is?
46:00High-on-less.
46:01High-on-less.
46:03Whoa.
46:04And, well,
46:05Lexus, oh, God.
46:06Good guess.
46:07They don't break,
46:07but you wish they
46:08would.
46:09I can tell you, the
46:09second-most satisfying
46:10car was the Jaguar
46:12XJ.
46:13I mean, that's not
46:14bad for Jag.
46:15Ah, but is it?
46:16You see, because last
46:17year, the XJ came
46:18first.
46:19Yeah, yes.
46:20Which means it's now
46:21twice as bad.
46:22Is it so?
46:23But, in its favour,
46:26it has been voted
46:27Britain's best-smelling
46:28new car.
46:30I think we should get
46:31back to that Land Rover
46:32Discovery at this point,
46:33yeah?
46:33Yes.
46:33Good idea.
46:34See, earlier on, I
46:35tested it on the road.
46:37Now, it was pretty good,
46:38actually.
46:38It's more than that.
46:39It's a fantastic car.
46:40Well, it's not as good
46:40as an XC90.
46:41It's a fantastic car.
46:41No, it's a lot better
46:42than the XC90.
46:43We can't agree on that,
46:44OK?
46:45We don't agree on that.
46:46We're going to move on,
46:47because now it is going to
46:48face the toughest test I've
46:51ever dreamed up.
46:52I'm going to try and drive
47:00the Discovery to the top
47:01of this 1,007-foot mountain
47:04near Cape Roth
47:06at the top of Scotland.
47:08No car
47:09has ever been up here before.
47:13Obviously,
47:14I have made
47:14one or two modifications
47:16for this genuinely difficult
47:19journey.
47:20I'm wearing Wellingtons,
47:22and so is the car,
47:22actually.
47:23I fitted these kind of
47:24very chunky off-road tires,
47:27and I've equipped it
47:28with a winch.
47:33Right.
47:36Bloody hell.
47:41On the way up,
47:42I hope to learn
47:43how the Land Rover works
47:44in some of the most
47:46hostile terrain
47:47on the British Isles.
47:49And also,
47:50we shall learn
47:51some new bushcraft,
47:53Clarkson style.
47:59Ray Mears keeps telling us
48:00that we have much to learn
48:02from ancient tribes
48:04from around the world,
48:05but you know what?
48:06I think they have
48:08more to learn from us.
48:11I mean, sure,
48:12an Eskimo hunter-gatherer
48:14could get up this part
48:15of the mountain
48:15in a pair of shoes
48:16made from moose hooves.
48:19But it's much easier
48:20in the new disco.
48:22You see,
48:23instead of levers,
48:25which he used to pull
48:26in the old Discovery
48:27to make big bits of metal
48:28underneath fused together,
48:30this has just got
48:31a series of buttons.
48:32you tell the on-board computer,
48:35which was designed by four blokes
48:36in Banbury,
48:37what kind of surface you're on,
48:39and it sets the car up properly.
48:42So I've told it now
48:43I'm on sort of wet, grassy, peaty rubbish,
48:47and it is pulling me forward.
48:58So now I've got kind of rocks,
49:00so what I'm going to do
49:01is put it onto rock crawl,
49:04which is that one,
49:06and then the on-board display here
49:09tells me that we've now got
49:10a locked centre differential,
49:11the ride height's gone up,
49:13it's engaged low range for me.
49:17So, here we go.
49:22It's pulling me over all right.
49:27Oh, this is very, very clever.
49:32I'm not entirely surprised
49:34that no car's been up here before,
49:36I must be honest.
49:41I want a peat bog setting.
49:51It's very wet and sticky.
50:08Now, there are a couple of issues
50:10at this point.
50:11First of all,
50:12have you ever seen a view
50:14as spectacular as that one?
50:16Apart from that one, obviously,
50:18over here, look.
50:18That one, there.
50:20Or that one, maybe,
50:22with the sea in it.
50:24But more important,
50:26have you ever seen a slope
50:28as vicious as that?
50:29There's the summit, look.
50:32How the hell am I going to get up there?
50:34I'm up a very steep bit of hill here.
50:47Now,
50:48this is something
50:50I wasn't expecting.
50:51I appear to have arrived
50:53at an enormous valley.
50:57I just thought it...
50:58Blast!
51:04This is so depressing,
51:06going back downhill again.
51:13Oh!
51:14Come on, car.
51:16Come on, now.
51:18Now, you see...
51:19I'm as stuck as a don't-know-what, now.
51:33Of course,
51:34being a well-prepared,
51:36modern,
51:3621st-century sort of guy
51:38had this winch fitted.
51:39All we have to do,
51:40pull this cable out
51:41and attach it
51:42to a tree.
51:44Oh, bugger.
51:45What Shackleton would do at this time
51:49is row halfway across the South Atlantic
51:52to get help.
51:53What I prefer to do
51:54is use one of these.
51:59Hi.
52:00Yeah.
52:01Help.
52:07While the brave men and women of Scotland
52:10toiled to free the car
52:11with their handy land anchor,
52:13I came over all peckish.
52:18Ray Mears is forever telling us
52:20that you can start a fire
52:22by rubbing together
52:23some pieces of heather.
52:25I find it's much easier
52:27to use a couple of pints of diesel.
52:29And simply splash it on my kindling.
52:34There we are.
52:35In no time at all,
52:44I have a lovely pan full
52:45of steaming,
52:46winter-warming broth.
52:49Mmm.
52:50Delicious.
52:52So much better
52:53than eating the bark
52:54from a bonga-bonga tree.
53:03Ow!
53:03Ow!
53:05The land anchor, meanwhile,
53:07was doing its work.
53:10It's pulling the whole of Scotland.
53:16I've done it.
53:17And now I shall go back
53:19into Edmund Hillary mode.
53:20There we go again.
53:31Of course, it would help
53:32if I weren't the world's
53:33most useless off-road driver.
53:38Power, power, power, power, power, power, power.
53:40Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
53:42Oh!
53:42Not again.
53:50Oh, thank...
53:51Where are the strong men?
53:56Oh, dear, there is some trim come off.
54:05Caught it on the header.
54:06What I've managed to do
54:07is get it from, well,
54:08just there,
54:09just where that green bit is,
54:10to here.
54:14While it was being freed this time,
54:16I came overall thirsty.
54:18In touching the void,
54:20the injured climber stays alive
54:22by sucking moisture
54:24from the rocks.
54:25It's a...
54:26Mmm.
54:29I think it's better probably
54:31to simply open a can of fizzy drink.
54:35Mmm.
54:37Yeah, now that's a tasty beverage.
54:40See?
54:41I'm doing all the work here.
54:46Drive.
55:04Of course, you might be thinking,
55:06why on earth are you doing this?
55:09I'm never going to drive my car.
55:11Over a Scottish mountain.
55:13The thing is, though,
55:14this watch, OK,
55:15that goes to 1,000 feet.
55:17I'm never going to take it down.
55:18I'm never going to go to 1,000 feet,
55:20but it's nice to know it's OK
55:22when I drop it in the sink.
55:32Fearful of getting stuck again,
55:34I decided at this point
55:35to stop fannying about
55:37at one mile an hour
55:38and see what the car could really do.
55:40by pointing its nose
55:42at the summit
55:42and flooring it.
55:50The results
55:51were spectacular.
55:55That is a lot of revs.
55:57We can't stop.
56:01I'm not stopping.
56:02nothing is going to make me stop.
56:10What this car does
56:11is bring
56:12civilisation
56:14and comfort
56:15to bits of the world
56:16that would otherwise be difficult
56:18and inhospitable.
56:19is going to make me stop.
56:21Oh, my God, look at that view.
56:33Oh, my God, look at that view.
56:37No car
56:41has ever been up here before.
56:43I don't want any conspiracy theorists
56:52saying that that's a soundstage in Nevada.
56:57So, there we are.
57:12Proof.
57:13That car made it.
57:16Will the world
57:19the world in union
57:22a new age
57:27has begun?
57:30Oh, my God.
57:32Oh, my God.
57:34Oh, my God.
57:36Oh, my God.
57:38Oh, my God.
57:40Oh, my God.
57:42Oh, my God.
57:44Oh, my God.
57:45Oh, my God.
57:47That's amazing.
57:49Look, I've got to say,
57:51I've got to say,
57:52you really put your back
57:54into that whole off-road thing there, Jeremy.
57:56That's what I love about this car.
57:57It means you can go mountaineering
57:59in a weak and lazy way,
58:01which suits me down to the ground.
58:02Yeah, yeah.
58:03I have to say, as a family car,
58:04I still think the XC90, the Volvo.
58:06Disagree.
58:07I know you disagree,
58:07but I still think it's better.
58:08As a machine, though,
58:09this is just phenomenal.
58:11It really is.
58:12And the great thing is,
58:13is we've got two even more phenomenal machines
58:15coming next week.
58:16Here's a taster.
58:24That is the Aston Martin Vanquish S,
58:26the new one in the Ferrari 575.
58:28So we'll see you then.
58:29Good night.
58:30And don't forget to vote in our
58:37Top Gear Restoration Competition.
58:39Telephone 09011 1110 835.
58:43The Aston Martin Vanquish S,
58:44the new one in the Ferrari 575.
58:45The Aston Martin Vanquish S,
58:46the new one in the Ferrari 575.
58:48The Aston Martin Vanquish S,
58:49the new one in the Ferrari 575.
58:50The Aston Martin Vanquish S,
58:51the new one in the Ferrari 575.
58:52The Aston Martin Vanquish S,
58:53the new one in the Ferrari 575.
58:54The Aston Martin Vanquish S,
58:55the new one in the Ferrari 575.
58:56The Aston Martin Vanquish S,
58:57the new one in the Ferrari 575.
58:58The Aston Martin Vanquish S,
58:59the new one in the Ferrari 575.
59:00The Aston Martin Vanquish S,
59:01the new one in the Ferrari 575.
59:02The Aston Martin Vanquish S,
59:03the new one in the Ferrari 575.
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