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Episode 4 is pure fun and chaos. The presenters take everyday cars to the playground with competitive games like car conkers. Expect humor, surprise crashes, and the usual Top Gear absurdity. Guest: Jimmy Carr takes on the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car challenge. If you love novelty stunts and laughs alongside car reviews, this one delivers.
Thank you for supporting our channel
Episode 4 is pure fun and chaos. The presenters take everyday cars to the playground with competitive games like car conkers. Expect humor, surprise crashes, and the usual Top Gear absurdity. Guest: Jimmy Carr takes on the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car challenge. If you love novelty stunts and laughs alongside car reviews, this one delivers.
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MotorTranscript
00:00Tonight, Richard wets himself in a small hatchback.
00:08We play Conkers with Caravans and a Clash of the Titans, Aston v Ferrari, on our track.
00:19Hello and welcome to the incredible Pagani Zonda, which is now available with added excellentness.
00:26Richard Hammond said he wanted to drive this new version, but was insistent that he had to get in the mood first,
00:31which he said meant that he had to go to the south of France.
00:40Welcome to the coolest thing in the entire world, a boat.
00:45It's called the Wally 118, and despite the underwhelming name, it's the most radical and futuristic yacht ever built.
00:57If Darth Vader was a pirate, this would be his ship.
01:01It costs £14 million, but the money hasn't gone on gold chandeliers.
01:11Forget your gin palaces with drinks clubs.
01:14This is 2004.
01:16These window frames, carbon fibre.
01:19The dining table, that's carbon fibre.
01:22Everything is carbon fibre.
01:24Yep, it actually is.
01:30That's because this boat is as much about speed as it is about luxury.
01:37It was shaped in the Ferrari wind tunnel.
01:40Its gas turbine engines give out 17,000 horsepower.
01:44And even though it's 118 feet long and weighs 95 tonnes, it can still do 70 miles an hour.
01:52The trouble is, though, after this, any transport on dry land just seems so shabby.
02:01What on earth do you pop to the cash point in?
02:08This isn't a bad start.
02:10The Pagani Zonda Roadster.
02:14Your Wally yacht owner will feel right at home here, with the futuristic cabin.
02:18And the swathes of carbon fibre.
02:24Now, when we drove the hardtop version of this a while back, we loved it.
02:31But the first question is, is it still as quick now that they've taken the roof off?
02:36Yes, it is still fast.
02:410-60, about 3 seconds.
02:43Stop speed, 218 miles an hour.
02:47You see, usually, when you take the top off a car, it actually has to get heavier because you have to put big girders and oak trees in to make it stronger.
02:59But here, the technicians have been skilful.
03:02The weight has only gone up by 30 kilograms.
03:04In fact, the whole car is a third of a ton lighter than a Lamborghini Murcielago Roadster.
03:12But the best thing is, with the roof down, there's nowhere to hide from the V12 Bello.
03:19Let me take you somewhere rather special.
03:21There are demons in here.
03:32And I'm driving one.
03:36This is my new home.
03:38In fact, I would sell my house, buy one of these and live in a tunnel.
03:43Actually, you'd have to sell your house, because the price, £415,000.
03:52Welcome to the dark side.
04:02This is like nothing I have ever, ever experienced.
04:06This is life-changing.
04:08I shall emerge a different man.
04:13That's exciting.
04:22If you're 10 and you're watching this right now, it's exactly as good as you think it is.
04:29It is actually that good.
04:32Having found that the Zonda was still fast in a straight line,
04:36I headed for the foothills of the Alps to see if it was still good at going round corners.
04:43This is incredible.
04:45To drive, it feels live and nimble.
04:49They're just weird words to use when you're talking about a 7.3-litre V12-engined megacar.
04:55I just want to drive.
04:57I don't want to stop doing this at all, ever.
05:01But the weather changed its mind, which meant I had to pull over and put the fingernail-busting roof up.
05:07Mm.
05:09Lift.
05:11Mm.
05:12Engine.
05:18It's brilliant, isn't it?
05:20Buy a Peugeot for a few grand, and it's one button.
05:24Supercars are a bit more fiddly.
05:26I think this has gone well.
05:28see the glamour
05:33it's gone
05:36ok
05:42this is suddenly a very different experience
05:46555 brake horsepower
05:49in the wet
05:50only 40 of these will ever exist
05:53and I really didn't want to make it 39
05:56somebody else's hyper car
05:59no pressure
06:00I needn't have worried though because even in the wet
06:03it's still so usable
06:05yes I'm conscious of the rain
06:09I'm conscious that big fat tires
06:11can aquaplane
06:13and it doesn't seem to make much difference
06:15the only thing that will cause us to
06:17go over the edge now
06:18is me getting a bit overzealous with my right shoe
06:21I wasn't scared
06:27I love this car
06:33it's got all the weapons grade engineering underneath
06:36and yet it's still outrageous enough
06:39still just vulgar enough
06:41to be the perfect playboy's wheels
06:43out here on the Riviera
06:45and wherever that amazing yacht is
06:48it knows it's got a soul mate
06:50on dry land
06:51if I may just have a moment here
06:59oh no it can't
07:02what?
07:02it cannot do
07:04as you claimed in the film
07:050-60 in about 3 seconds
07:08oh well alright
07:093.7 if you want to be
07:10that is about 4 seconds
07:13no either way Mr Pedantic
07:15however you look at it
07:16it is a glorious car
07:18I adore the roadsters under
07:19I do
07:20I mean okay
07:20the Ferrari Enzo
07:21or maybe the Porsche Carrera GT
07:23are technically better cars
07:24but for a sense of theatre
07:26and almost pantomime
07:27it is impossibly glamorous
07:29honestly
07:29I thought I'd feel silly
07:30in a car that over the top
07:31but I felt brilliant
07:32and then when I went into that tunnel
07:34the nut
07:34this is bad news ladies
07:36very bad news
07:37little Richard has fallen in love
07:39with a ton and a bit
07:42of Kevlar and wires
07:43yeah I think I have this
07:44they've all come down here
07:45they've all come down
07:47with the bare midriffs
07:48and Richard and Hammond
07:49written on it
07:50like that
07:51and it's no good
07:52he's gone
07:53I love it
07:54I think this is the big one
07:55now we're going to have to
07:55go and do the news now
07:56before he leaves a deposit on it
07:58um
07:59oh yeah
08:01so let's do that
08:03and the news is
08:06that we are
08:07for sale
08:09on ebay
08:10there is a signed picture
08:11of the three of us
08:12really
08:12all our signatures on it
08:13how much do you think
08:14that's going for
08:15a million pounds
08:1520,000 pounds
08:17five quid
08:17five quid
08:18somebody said five quid
08:19oh thank you
08:20any advance on five quid
08:21four pounds twenty
08:23what
08:23four pounds twenty
08:25four pounds twenty
08:25yeah
08:25you can sell anything
08:26on ebay these days
08:27really
08:28yeah I sold a
08:29part used box of cigarettes
08:30a while back
08:31what
08:31a what
08:32part used box of cigarettes
08:33that I found in my house
08:35a builder left
08:35the painter
08:36yeah
08:37two had been smoked
08:38and obviously I don't smoke
08:40so um
08:40I took a picture of them
08:41and stuck them on ebay
08:42somebody buy them
08:42six pounds fifty
08:43what was the list of things
08:46you'd done before you got down
08:47to auctioning off
08:48partly used packets of cigarettes
08:50I made six pounds fifty
08:52which is more than being
08:53it's more than being made
08:55out of a signature
08:56with your bloody face
08:57yeah have a point
08:59I'm staggered
09:00I'm just staggered
09:01ebay bores the pants
09:02off me
09:02um
09:03you may remember
09:04in the last series
09:05that we did a thing
09:06about how you could
09:07speed horse boxes up
09:08because they always
09:09go far too slowly
09:10have horses in them
09:11and that's the problem
09:12the horse sort of
09:12rolls around in there
09:13if you go too fast
09:14so we thought
09:15you came up with the idea
09:16I thought we could wedge
09:16more horses in
09:17and squash them
09:18and then they can't move
09:19and there was a chap
09:19standing here
09:20he said
09:20why don't you have a horse
09:21where you live
09:21and a horse where you're going
09:22and then you don't need
09:23which was brilliant
09:24but
09:24we've had a letter
09:26from an 11 year old girl
09:28called Emily Nelsie
09:30and Emily says
09:31that you can't pack horses in
09:33unless they're dead
09:34deboned
09:35and in olive oil
09:36and she says
09:38that's neither humane
09:39nor practical
09:40okay
09:40she's right
09:41so she sent us
09:42her solution
09:43okay
09:44I've got it here
09:44imagine this is the horse box
09:47okay
09:47there are the doors
09:48she's drawn that one
09:49for you
09:49and inside
09:51look
09:51the horse is suspended
09:54right
09:55I elastic from the ceiling
09:56and then tied by elastic
09:57to the floor
09:58so you can really
09:59jiggle it around
10:00and it never touches the side
10:03look
10:03nobody's tried that
10:04on a real horse
10:05have they
10:05you've got a real horse
10:06if I went into the horse box
10:07with my stallion
10:08and a length of elastic
10:09and some rope
10:09I get
10:10I had a lot of it like that
10:15I would get killed
10:17but not in the way
10:18you're thinking
10:18we could just
10:20but you just hose you out
10:21oh I'd get butchered
10:22I mean there'd be hooves
10:22coming out the window
10:23no it's not going to work
10:24I think she's brilliant
10:25I think she is
10:26Cockrell Mitchell
10:27Emily Nelsie
10:29good for you
10:29British ingenuity
10:30love it
10:31have you picked your colour yet
10:32oh you the Ford
10:34I've had a fantastic week
10:35earlier on this week
10:36you know the saga
10:36of his GT40
10:37that he's been
10:38ingratiating himself
10:39to Ford for ages
10:40he had a conversation
10:41this week
10:42did you not
10:43huddled in the corner
10:44of the office
10:44yeah yeah yeah
10:45what colour
10:45can I get it in
10:46so I did decide
10:48but for a start
10:49have you decided
10:50on your colour
10:50well this is it
10:51you see
10:52the problem is
10:52is that the Americans
10:53aren't good on colours
10:54and so you basically
10:55you pay a fortune
10:56for the damn thing
10:57and they say
10:57you can have it
10:58in red
10:58white
10:59black
10:59yellow
10:59or blue
11:00what do we think
11:00blue
11:01do you know what
11:04you're all wrong
11:05because it's irrelevant
11:05because the thing's
11:06not going to
11:07when's it arrive
11:07when was it supposed
11:08to arrive
11:09it was supposed to
11:10have arrived
11:10ages ago
11:11and they said
11:11it was going
11:11to be £90,000
11:13to start with
11:14and it's going to be
11:14well then they put it
11:16up and they said
11:16it was going to be
11:17a bit more than
11:17£100
11:17then it was £111
11:19it's going to be
11:20I'll tell you what it's
11:20£121
11:21and then they say
11:22the stripes on it
11:23are another £3,000
11:24and if you want wheels
11:25they're £1,500
11:26there's about £130,000
11:28so you pay £130,000
11:30and then they still
11:31just say
11:32you've got a choice
11:32of five colours
11:33and they're all rubbish
11:34there's one on eBay
11:35for £110
11:36there's a packet of
11:42new cigarettes
11:43on eBay
11:43for £6,000
11:44is there really
11:45one on eBay
11:46yeah there is
11:47what for £110
11:48has anybody
11:49got a knife
11:50that's going to be
11:52a great investment
11:53Jeremy
11:53you've lost
11:54£20,000
11:54£30,000
11:55on it nearly
11:55and you haven't
11:56got it
11:56yeah
11:57I love that car
11:59anyway
11:59because it's ruining you
12:00and making you unhappy
12:01right
12:03can I talk about
12:04some new cars
12:04just briefly
12:05two quite interesting ones
12:06firstly this
12:06Chrysler Crossfire Roadster
12:08this is the Roadster version
12:09of the Crossfire Coupe
12:10about £28,000
12:12£700 more
12:12than the Coupe
12:130-60 in 6.5 seconds
12:15top speed
12:15150
12:16and another one
12:17this
12:17Nissan 350Z
12:19Roadster
12:19about £28,000
12:20£1,500 more
12:21than the Coupe
12:226 seconds to 60
12:23155 miles an hour
12:24just thought you might like
12:25they're both available now
12:26they've just gone on sale
12:27the problem is though
12:28that there's so much choice
12:29in that market
12:30I mean you've got
12:30Audi TT convertible
12:31BMW Z4
12:33Porsche Boxster
12:34S2000
12:34SLK
12:35there's loads
12:36before you even have to
12:37start thinking about
12:38that sort of stuff
12:39I know it's a busy
12:39part of the market
12:40but I think that one
12:41actually the 350R
12:42looks pretty good
12:43there's a fundamental
12:44flaw with it
12:45well you can tell
12:46from the picture
12:47easily
12:47ok let's just say
12:48you get one
12:48you're at a drinks party
12:49someone comes up
12:50so Richard
12:51what are you driving now
12:51Nissan
12:52you're right
12:52I don't want it
12:53yeah you can't just go around
12:54saying you've got a Nissan
12:55all the street going
12:55oh now
12:56have you seen these specs
12:58speed cameras
12:59the new ones
13:00they measure your average speed
13:02between two given points
13:03so I was going through
13:04Northampton the other day
13:06ok
13:06and there's a 50 mile an hour
13:07speed limit
13:08about 2 miles
13:09now when you've got to
13:11maintain an average speed of 50
13:12it means the only thing
13:14that you can look at
13:16is the speedometer
13:17so you drive like that
13:18you can hear the wheelchairs
13:21going under the wheels
13:21and the babies
13:22and old ladies
13:23I'm not looking at
13:24I swear to god
13:25they are going to kill people
13:26trust me
13:27they're forward facing
13:29though am I right
13:29yeah the cameras
13:30they take a picture
13:31as you're going towards them
13:32yeah
13:32I approve of those
13:33why
13:34because I'm a motorcyclist
13:36what's that got to do with it
13:37there's no number play
13:38on the front of a bike
13:39bike is number
13:41it's true
13:42it's true
13:43it's a fair game
13:46I've never thought
13:46why
13:47but the thing is
13:48I've been through
13:49Northampton on the bike
13:50why is there no number play
13:55I believe they were
13:57actually made illegal
13:58in early 70s
13:59because they used to be
14:00upright on the front mudguard
14:01so if you had a crash
14:02it was like somebody
14:03just putting a meat cleaver
14:04in your head
14:04essentially
14:05well that is one advantage
14:07of motorcycling
14:07I will concede
14:08but there is a disadvantage
14:09because I was talking
14:10to a surgeon
14:11just last week
14:12and he was telling me
14:14you know these new bikes
14:14that have got a very
14:15pronounced fuel tank
14:16in front of the saddle
14:17yeah a lot of sports bikes
14:18do you know what the most
14:19common injury is now
14:20when you've had an accident
14:21your testes
14:23torn off
14:25oh no
14:27it's a fact
14:28it's a fact
14:28so you can do that
14:29to a speed camera
14:30but the next thing you know
14:31this surgeon
14:33this surgeon was telling me
14:34he now spends most of his life
14:36sewing testicles on people
14:37which is annoying
14:38if you're a woman
14:39you don't know
14:41they were my boyfriends
14:42you know what you've done
14:44I'd love to be
14:45I'd sew them on someone's ears
14:47serves you right
14:48for being a biker
14:49now you've got earrings
14:50I'd sew them on the shoulders
14:52so the next time
14:53somebody said
14:53well done mate
14:54now you may have heard
14:59recently
15:00that the ancient
15:00schoolyard game
15:01of conkers
15:02has been under threat
15:03because those loonies
15:04at health and safety
15:05got their hands on it
15:05and they decided
15:06that they would make
15:07school children wear goggles
15:09when they're playing it
15:11so
15:11that's exactly
15:12what we did
15:13today we'll be using
15:18this huge airfield
15:19as our playground
15:20we're staying pretty faithful
15:23to the game
15:24you know and love
15:26but we've just gone
15:26a bit more ambitious
15:28now instead of string
15:31we've got these huge cranes
15:34that we can hang stuff from
15:35and then swing it about
15:37with gay abandon
15:38all we need now
15:39is some conkers
15:40and here they are
15:46six ripe beauties
15:47that fell from the old
15:48fiberglass chestnut tree
15:50and the rules are
15:51really child's play
15:52first we choose
15:53three conkers each
15:55a nine
15:56see I was going to go
15:57for this bright musketeer
15:59for one of my
15:59oh look a mum's on
16:01this has got
16:01a galvanised chassis
16:03which yours hasn't
16:04sturdy stuff
16:05now in real conkers
16:09the skill is in
16:10the choosing of your conker
16:12you might have a three-er
16:13but the other bloke
16:14could pull out a nine-er
16:15and it's the same here today
16:16but different
16:17the skill is in
16:18the choice of caravan
16:19I for example
16:21have gone for this
16:221983
16:23Eccles Amethyst
16:24two-berth
16:25with flip-down sink
16:26port-a-potty
16:27and an all-up weight
16:28of 530 kilograms
16:30I've gone for this
16:31I've gone for this
16:31four-berth
16:32piper 415
16:33at 700 kilos
16:35it's a biggin'
16:36unfortunately
16:37health and safety
16:38have found out
16:39about our conker game
16:40and have stepped in
16:41with some precautions
16:42there you go
16:43I now feel perfectly happy
16:44about being hit in the face
16:45by a caravan
16:46the conkers
16:50the conkers are a splendid
16:5050 feet apart
16:52and Richard will take
16:53first swing
16:54Hammond is expecting
16:56victory with the much
16:57heavier piper
16:58right here we go
17:00our first conker
17:01of the seas
17:02three
17:03two
17:03one
17:04at first it looked
17:13as though David
17:14had felled Goliath
17:16but then
17:17the two-berth
17:18amethyst
17:18crumbled
17:20I've still got
17:25one warning there
17:26hang on
17:26it's not over yet
17:27he's still conking
17:30one
17:31nil
17:32James we are grown men
17:34playing conkers
17:35in caravans
17:35that's okay
17:36it's better than
17:37working in a bank
17:37round two
17:39it's my turn to swing
17:40and Richard has gone
17:42for a Monza
17:42against it
17:44I'm going to pitch
17:45the Sprite Musketeer
17:47630 kilograms
17:48690 for the Monza
17:50it's lighter
17:50you've had it
17:51the Monza is weakened
17:53victory
17:54oh
17:56oh
17:58that's got it
17:59oh my Monza
18:00yes look
18:01oh
18:02yes
18:03yes
18:03yes
18:04yes
18:05that's magnificent
18:06right I won that one
18:08so
18:10as is the way
18:12in television
18:12the scores are level
18:13as we go into
18:14the final round
18:15it's James' turn
18:17to swing again
18:18but I am noisily confident
18:20let me just tell you
18:20what you're going up
18:21against here
18:22yeah
18:22that's an Abbey GT
18:23754 kilos
18:25it's the heaviest one
18:26we've had
18:26it's got
18:27hot and cold running water
18:29a separate bathroom
18:30it's the most modern
18:31it's a winner
18:32you've had it
18:32you think I'm worried
18:33one for all
18:34and all for one
18:35mate
18:35James' Musketeer
18:37is battered
18:38but defiant
18:393
18:402
18:411
18:42dive
18:43oh look
18:48just give up
18:50oh no
18:53I'm sorry mate
18:57the Musketeer
18:58bought the farm
18:59you are the winner
19:01of Caravan Conquers
19:04yes
19:04a lifelong ambition
19:05achieved
19:06oh
19:11oh boy
19:12it's tough
19:13this is the one
19:16this is the winner
19:17that's it
19:17that's the very one
19:18so this
19:18this really is
19:19a top gear
19:20top tip
19:21let's be honest
19:22because
19:22if you're going to
19:24play Conquers
19:25with your caravan
19:26which is better
19:26than
19:26hitching it up
19:27to the back
19:27of a car
19:28and getting in
19:29everyone's way
19:29let's be honest
19:30this is the one
19:32to go for
19:32what is it
19:32this is an
19:33Abbey GT
19:34for birth
19:35yes
19:35with separate
19:36shower
19:36cubicle
19:37okay
19:37there you have it
19:38now it's time
19:40to meet our guest
19:41he was described
19:42recently by one
19:44newspaper as being
19:45the Rolls Royce
19:46of comedians
19:47which presumably
19:48means that he's
19:4918 feet long
19:50and half German
19:50let's find out
19:52ladies and gentlemen
19:53Jimmy Carr
19:54a big welcome
20:06well thanks very much
20:07now let's just
20:09canter through
20:09your early life
20:10shall we
20:11Cambridge educated
20:12yes I was
20:16a lot of people
20:17take that the wrong
20:18way
20:18a lot of people
20:18think if you're
20:19Cambridge educated
20:19you may be a bit
20:20pompous and up
20:20yourself
20:21not true
20:22only reason I went
20:23to Cambridge is
20:24because I got
20:24four raised air
20:25level
20:25and then after
20:29Cambridge it was
20:29off to work for
20:30an oil company
20:31yes Shell
20:33middle management
20:34yeah middle
20:35I was in marketing
20:36for oil
20:36okay
20:37which is technically
20:38the easiest job
20:39on the planet
20:39do you have a fuel
20:41gauge in your car
20:42yeah
20:42yeah you know
20:43when that goes
20:43into the red
20:44yeah
20:44buy some petrol
20:45job done
20:47because I mean
20:50I've got a
20:51I've got this
20:51big thing going
20:52at the moment
20:53with you know
20:53how crude oil
20:54so bad
20:55it's not bad
20:57at all
20:57crude oil is
20:58magnificent stuff
20:59it should be
21:00called magnificent
21:01oil
21:01and then people
21:02would not get so
21:03worried when it
21:04crashes all over
21:04a beach in Wales
21:05you think a rebrand
21:07is needed
21:07well yes because
21:08what do you get
21:09a couple of
21:09sticky guillemots
21:10that sounds painful
21:11it's a bird
21:13it's a bird
21:14it's a bird
21:15and they get a bit
21:15oily
21:15and then you
21:16wash them down
21:17and it's fine
21:17and everything's
21:18absolutely fine
21:18after that
21:19but oh the oil
21:20companies they're
21:20so bad
21:21and how much
21:21are they now
21:21contributing to
21:22the exchequer
21:23they make
21:23£800,000 an hour
21:25profit shell
21:26an hour
21:26an hour
21:27that's more than
21:27I make in a week
21:28but then you've
21:32got a Cambridge
21:32education so
21:33you know
21:33it's fair dues
21:34anyway you're a
21:36success now
21:37yeah if you like
21:39huge success
21:40your own TV show
21:41very successful
21:41tour film
21:42radio show
21:43the lot
21:43and you've got
21:44a Rover 75
21:45I know I've
21:46done well
21:46I thought I'd
21:50treat myself
21:50well what
21:52happened is
21:52earlier in the
21:52year I was
21:53thinking about
21:53buying a new
21:53car
21:54maybe some
21:54kind of CL
21:55Merc
21:55and had a
21:57chat with my
21:57girlfriend about
21:57what new car to
21:58get
21:58and you know
21:59after a couple
22:00of hours we both
22:00decided that the
22:01best thing to do
22:01was to get new
22:02curtains
22:02very happy with
22:06that decision
22:06so you've wound up
22:08still with a Rover 75
22:10which let's be
22:10honest is a dreadful
22:12car really
22:13well I won't have
22:13that said
22:14it's brilliant
22:16this one is
22:16significantly better
22:17than the last one
22:17I had
22:18you've had two
22:18yeah I had
22:19so you bought one
22:20and then sold it
22:22and then bought
22:22another one
22:23not quite
22:24what actually
22:24happened was
22:25the first one
22:25blew up twice
22:26at high speed
22:27and then they sold
22:29me another one
22:29that's madness
22:31well what happened
22:32it was an LPG car
22:33someone had converted
22:34it to LPG
22:35a fellow with a pipe
22:36and a beard
22:36had gone
22:36yeah I could do
22:38that easy
22:38and he put the
22:40wrong kind of fuel
22:41manifold on it
22:42that's not too
22:43technical
22:43he put a few
22:44plastic fuel manifold
22:45I think made out
22:46of straw
22:47something
22:47and he needed a
22:48metal one
22:49so I was doing
22:4980 down the
22:50motorway with
22:50my girlfriend
22:51beside me
22:51and it blew up
22:53the entire
22:54engine the brakes
22:55everything
22:55gone
22:56the brakes
22:57yeah
22:57everything just
22:58went
22:58the engine
22:59just imploded
22:59and I thought
23:01right that's a
23:02bad situation
23:02to be in
23:02my first thought
23:06of course
23:06was not for my
23:07own
23:07well it was for
23:07my own safety
23:08but it was
23:08don't tell Caroline
23:09she'll go
23:12mental
23:13and then I think
23:15that's you know
23:15the great thing
23:16about buying a
23:16British car
23:17I didn't go
23:17and sue them
23:17like an American
23:18would have
23:18you put my
23:19life in danger
23:20none of that
23:20nonsense
23:21I said could you
23:22sell me another
23:23one
23:23how much time
23:26do you spend
23:27on the road
23:27a lot
23:28I mean not
23:28quite as much
23:29as I used to
23:29but I mean I
23:30used to spend
23:31I used to do
23:31the clubs
23:32basically
23:32and then you're
23:33basically like a
23:34rep
23:34you might as well
23:36be you're up and
23:36down the you know
23:36the motorways
23:37the M1 the M6
23:38and whatever
23:38going to different
23:39clubs around the
23:39place and
23:39driving around
23:41so I used to do
23:41about 30,000 miles
23:42a year
23:43that is a lot
23:44it is
23:44my sort of
23:45peeve on driving
23:46is I drive an
23:47awful lot very
23:47very late at night
23:48because I go and
23:49I'm on stage at
23:49nine o'clock
23:50whatever and I'm
23:50coming back
23:51it's often one or
23:52two in the morning
23:52and the speed
23:53limits are the
23:54same I can't
23:55understand that
23:55why is it 70
23:56miles an hour
23:57speed limit at
23:58three in the
23:58morning there's
23:58no one else
23:59around you could
24:00just why not
24:01make it an
24:01autobahn at
24:02night there are
24:03people like you
24:03on it that's
24:04why I'd be
24:05fine I think
24:06if there's
24:06children playing
24:07on the motorway
24:08at three o'clock
24:10in the morning
24:10my driving is
24:12sort of the
24:12least of their
24:13worries is this
24:15something that
24:15would meet with
24:16popular approval
24:17here would you
24:17like to see
24:18how fast do we
24:21think in the
24:21middle of the
24:22night
24:22120
24:23I think
24:23autobahn
24:24you do what
24:24you want
24:25120 minimum
24:26I would suggest
24:27a minimum
24:28speed limit
24:29that's what
24:29we need
24:29a minimum
24:30of 120
24:31with police
24:32marksmen
24:32on the
24:32bridges
24:33picking off
24:34those who
24:34can't make
24:35it
24:35yes
24:36it's all
24:37part of
24:37your dream
24:37of a police
24:38state
24:39yes a police
24:39state but
24:40working for us
24:41rather than
24:41against us
24:42because the
24:42other thing
24:43as well
24:43that I find
24:44these days
24:44is we
24:45talk a fair
24:46bit on this
24:46programme about
24:47there being
24:47too many
24:47signposts
24:49but there's
24:49none on
24:49cars
24:50no there's
24:51none on
24:51cars
24:51right good
24:52and I see
24:52you know
24:53at the side
24:53of the road
24:54telling you
24:54how to walk
24:54to the library
24:55but the amount
24:56of towns
24:56that don't
24:57signpost other
24:58towns from
24:59them
24:59you do know
25:01when you're
25:02lost around
25:02Great Britain
25:03when it says
25:03town centre
25:04and you go
25:04what town
25:05that's not
25:08that's not
25:08that's not helping
25:08it isn't
25:09my favourite
25:10sign of all
25:10time is
25:11falling rocks
25:11you know
25:12the red
25:12triangle
25:12falling rocks
25:13what am I
25:14meant to do
25:14with that
25:14information
25:14I may as
25:17well just have
25:17a sign saying
25:18random accidents
25:19ahead
25:19life's a lottery
25:21be lucky
25:22erm
25:25okay fine
25:25the time has
25:26come to see
25:28how you got on
25:28in our
25:29reasonably priced
25:30car
25:30how was it
25:31out there
25:31it was
25:32it was
25:33surprisingly
25:33fun
25:34I didn't think
25:35I was going
25:35to take it
25:36seriously
25:36and then I
25:37got out there
25:38and thought
25:38this is
25:39brilliant
25:40it was amazing
25:41the Stig did
25:42say that
25:42he's never
25:42met anyone
25:43who and I
25:43think he
25:43put it
25:44dicks about
25:45as much
25:45as you
25:46we had a
25:48laugh
25:48yeah
25:49I mean it
25:49was fun
25:50it was you
25:50know we
25:50spun out
25:51a couple
25:51of times
25:51that was
25:51kind of
25:51fun
25:52and it
25:52was you
25:52know
25:52it was
25:52good
25:53anyone
25:53want to
25:53see
25:53one
25:54of those
25:54spins
25:54let's
25:55see
25:56because I
25:56think we
25:57may have
26:00second to
26:00last corner
26:01as is
26:02usual
26:02perfect
26:04perfect
26:04racing line
26:05yeah
26:06there you
26:07go
26:07yeah
26:08there you
26:09go
26:09that was
26:12my fastest
26:12time
26:13I'm really
26:13really sorry
26:14Jeremy
26:14I'm so
26:16sorry
26:16but can I
26:17have a go
26:17in the
26:17Ashton
26:18Martin
26:18please
26:19no
26:25the thing
26:27about that
26:28Jeremy
26:28the thing
26:29about that
26:29is my
26:30little face
26:30in a
26:30crash
26:30helmet
26:31it
26:32looks like
26:32a fat
26:33kid
26:33that's
26:33been
26:33shot
26:33in a
26:33lift
26:34now what
26:38I loved
26:38was the
26:39camera crews
26:39were all
26:40on the
26:40radios
26:40going
26:41would it
26:41be alright
26:41if we
26:42stood a
26:42bit
26:42further
26:42back
26:43than
26:43usual
26:43because
26:45there was
26:45this sense
26:45of dicking
26:46about
26:46at enormous
26:47speed
26:47it seems
26:47it sounds
26:47like
26:48you're
26:48quite
26:48brave
26:48behind
26:49the wheel
26:49of a
26:50car
26:50what
26:50could
26:50possibly
26:51go
26:51wrong
26:51well
26:51you
26:52could
26:52have
26:52rolled
26:52it
26:52over
26:52what
26:56now
26:56no
26:57no
26:57you could
26:57have
26:57done
26:57in
26:58that
26:58shot
26:58there
26:58there's
26:59a moment
26:59when it
26:59just
27:00hops
27:00michael
27:00gambon
27:01had a
27:01similar
27:01problem
27:02you want
27:02to get
27:03health
27:03and safety
27:03on that
27:03mate
27:04you don't
27:05want to
27:05let me
27:05out there
27:06in one
27:06of those
27:06again
27:06who'd
27:07like
27:08to
27:08see
27:08jimmy's
27:09lap
27:10let's
27:10play it
27:12did the
27:15club survive
27:15that
27:15who cares
27:17mirror
27:18signal
27:19let's
27:23have a look
27:23what's the matter
27:24about that
27:24that's fine
27:25no
27:25you're right
27:26I can't
27:26find
27:27nothing
27:27wrong
27:27with that
27:28first
27:28corner
27:28the
27:28yes
27:29I'll tell
27:29you when
27:30they're not
27:30your tires
27:31it's much
27:31easier to
27:32do
27:32oh no
27:34this is
27:35that's
27:36that's a whole
27:37new approach
27:37that
27:38I'm actually
27:40gonna die
27:40did you break
27:42I didn't break
27:44much no
27:45that squeaky
27:46noise that's
27:46the braking
27:47that's the tires
27:48being torn
27:49from the rims
27:49this is aggressive
27:50I can see what
27:51the guys were on
27:51about out there
27:52I don't think
27:53it's aggressive
27:53it's playful
27:54did you lift
27:57off going through
27:57there at all
27:58I don't think
27:58I don't know
27:59I didn't lift
27:59off
27:59and here we go
28:00into the second
28:00to last corner
28:01which is where
28:02things went wrong
28:02yeah a little bit
28:03on the grass
28:03and up to the
28:04last corner
28:05yes
28:06just about there
28:08and there he is
28:09I got the time
28:19I've just been told
28:21how embarrassing
28:22is it
28:23what do you think
28:24anywhere
28:24is it
28:25well I'm hoping
28:25to not be at the
28:26bottom
28:27what
28:27no that's impossible
28:28the car was moving
28:29we could see that
28:30yeah I did go the
28:32right way round
28:33you went the right
28:33way round
28:34you didn't do what
28:34Jonathan Ross did
28:35you didn't get lost
28:35well Jonathan's way
28:37way down there
28:38it'd be good to beat
28:39him
28:39Jonathan Ross
28:40oh yeah you've
28:41beaten him
28:41it'd be nice to
28:42beat Steve Coogan
28:43Coogan was in the
28:44wet so don't worry
28:45you beat him
28:46Bill Bailey
28:47he's a funny bloke
28:48he is funny
28:49and you beat him
28:49he was in the wet
28:50though as well
28:50you had a dry track
28:51so you can forget
28:52these ones down
28:53is that Keelty
28:53did Keelty do that
28:54well
28:54Keelty
28:55oh up at 1.48
28:56he did do that
28:57well
28:58I'm not sure
28:59I'm you know
28:59happy in mid table
29:01I would have thought
29:01happy in mid table
29:02well you did it
29:04actually in
29:041.46.9
29:07Jimmy Carter
29:10you're the first
29:11and there you go
29:12while we're talking
29:13you're a test
29:13jack
29:13I'm not really
29:16you're all
29:17but I was wondering
29:17is that true
29:18that is not
29:19what it is
29:19but that is
29:21are you joking
29:26are you joking
29:28hand on heart
29:30where's Jeremy Beadle
29:33hand on heart
29:37that despite
29:38the look of it
29:39was the fastest
29:40time ever
29:40you've taken
29:41Cowl
29:42off the top
29:43thank you very much
29:47ladies and gentlemen
29:48Jimmy Carter
29:49fantastic
29:54fantastic
29:56now
29:57restoration
29:59rip off
30:00every week
30:01I've been showing
30:02you one of these
30:02five broken cars
30:04the idea is that
30:05you eventually
30:05will decide
30:06which one
30:07we actually
30:07restore
30:08so far
30:09we have seen
30:10James Dean's
30:11Lotus
30:11we've seen
30:12the probe
30:13from a clockwork
30:13orange
30:14and Keith Moon's
30:151930s Chrysler
30:17now in a minute
30:17I'll be giving you
30:18a telephone number
30:19to ring
30:19so you can vote
30:20for your favourite one
30:21but in the meantime
30:22please be upstanding
30:23for this week's contestant
30:25our knackered car
30:27this week
30:27is a Range Rover
30:33it's a 1978
30:42original two-door model
30:44in Lincoln Green
30:45with just 36,000 miles
30:48on the clock
30:49so what
30:50I hear you cry
30:51well
30:51it was the personal
30:53runabout
30:54of the most famous woman
30:55in the world
30:57it all becomes clear
31:03when you look at
31:04the first address
31:05in the logbook
31:06it's a large house
31:08in London SW1
31:10Buckingham Palace
31:13this car
31:16now covered in dust
31:18and rust
31:19was once
31:20a bona fide
31:21royal runabout
31:22and as a consequence
31:23of that
31:23it features some
31:25very special extras
31:26rather confusingly
31:29for a Windsor's car
31:30it's fitted with this
31:31full-length
31:31Tudor Webasto sunroof
31:33and electric windows
31:35now as far as we know
31:37the Queen
31:37isn't actually
31:38into modified cars
31:39but of course
31:39in those days
31:40your plebeian Range Rover
31:42owner had to
31:42wind the windows
31:43by hand
31:44of course
31:45the royals
31:45don't care too much
31:46for manual labour
31:47Her Majesty
31:48also requested
31:49that the doors
31:50be fitted with this
31:51solid wood trim
31:52and I have to say
31:53it's actually
31:54rather nice
31:55as I mentioned earlier
32:00it was used by
32:01the most famous woman
32:03in the world
32:03but actually
32:04I didn't mean
32:05the Queen
32:06I meant Diana
32:09Princess of Wales
32:11here she is
32:14on her honeymoon
32:15and other royals
32:16borrowed it as well
32:17here's Prince Edward
32:19attacking a tree
32:20Charles and Camilla
32:21at hunt
32:22that was in 1979
32:23eee if cars could talk
32:25the Range Rover
32:26was like a good butler
32:28silently and inconspicuously
32:30serving the royal family
32:31with unswerving dedication
32:33but one day
32:34they had to let it go
32:38today it's in need
32:42of some new panels
32:43and a respray
32:44the wheels
32:45lights and bumpers
32:46could do with replacing
32:47and the engine needs
32:48a complete rebuild
32:49we think this car
32:51deserves all that
32:52think of all the things
32:53this royal Range Rover
32:55has seen
32:55all those little
32:56royal indiscretions
32:58that it's politely ignored
32:59now if it were to sell
33:01its story to the tabloids
33:02like certain royal
33:03employees might
33:04then it could afford
33:05its own restoration
33:06and a nice garage
33:08to live in
33:08instead
33:09all it asks for
33:10is a dignified retirement
33:12to vote for the
33:17right royal Range Rover
33:19phone my mobile
33:2009011
33:21010835
33:24and I'll tell you
33:25what to do
33:25there's also a chance
33:27for you to win
33:27a VIP day out
33:29here
33:29at the Top Gear
33:30Test Track
33:31you're going to vote
33:32for that one
33:33no you say
33:35you vote
33:35and we use
33:37your money
33:38to restore the car
33:39you get your
33:40you haven't got it
33:41have you
33:41no
33:42we've been wasting
33:43our time frankly
33:44I'm voting for
33:45Keith Moon's Chrysler
33:46thank you
33:48that's
33:49I'm just waiting
33:50to see if
33:50let's talk about
33:53smarts
33:54now for the last few
33:55years they've been
33:56making kind of
33:57cheap plastic
33:58city runarounds
33:59like this
34:00city coupe
34:01and this roadster
34:02but now
34:03they've gone all
34:04mainstream
34:05which for some
34:06reason prompted
34:06James and Richard
34:07to throw darts
34:09at a German's face
34:11this is
34:12Harmut Sienkowicz
34:13and this
34:16is the new car
34:17he's designed
34:18the smart
34:194-4
34:20now he's done
34:23a nice job
34:24we've got no
34:25arguments with
34:25its looks
34:26what ticks us off
34:28is the brochure
34:29it says here
34:30that the interior
34:31has been designed
34:32around the concept
34:34of a lounge
34:34not 4 seats
34:35in a wheel
34:36oh that's not good
34:36enough
34:36a lounge
34:37you see these seats
34:38can fold flat
34:40so you can slob out
34:41and this central armrest
34:43can do stuff
34:43see
34:44a lounge
34:45so Top Gear
34:47decided that the only
34:48way to test out
34:49this claim
34:50was for us to spend
34:5124 hours
34:52in the car
34:54that's 24 hours
34:56imprisoned in the car
34:57we can't get out
34:58thank you
34:59Hessingfitz
35:00thank you so much
35:02so that's it
35:04this is our home
35:06until 9 o'clock
35:07tomorrow morning
35:08now the two previous
35:13smarts
35:14the City Coupe
35:14and the Roadster
35:15are kind of out there
35:16on their own
35:17with no real rivals
35:18but this 4-4
35:20is more of a
35:21conventional supermini
35:22with lots of competition
35:24so it can't just be
35:25a bit wacky
35:26and a bit funky
35:27it's got to be good
35:28the other reason
35:29it has to be good
35:29is the price
35:30this version may come
35:32with a 1.5 litre engine
35:33aircon
35:34alloys
35:35and a CD player
35:36but it's £12,500
35:38and those fancy
35:40lounge seats
35:41cost even more
35:42if you think about it
35:43a top spec
35:44micro or jazz
35:46is about £11,000
35:47this is a lot
35:48it's what my mother
35:50would call
35:50a bit dear
35:51after two hours
35:57meandering around
35:58Kent
35:59we decided to
36:00kill a couple more
36:01by testing the 4-4
36:02on the motorway
36:04this car does
36:050-60 in 9.8 seconds
36:07and a top speed
36:08of 118 miles an hour
36:09sadly though
36:11it does make
36:12a meal of it
36:12it is a bit noisy
36:14but it's a bit choppy
36:17it is a hard ride
36:19I mean a long
36:21motorway journey
36:22you're going to know
36:22you've done a long
36:23motorway journey
36:24yeah
36:24and the monotony
36:25of the motorway
36:26reminded us that
36:27we still had
36:2820 hours to go
36:30I'm really bored already
36:32do you know
36:33I'm actually trying
36:34not to look at
36:35too many things
36:36I'm sort of
36:36rationing myself
36:37like there's a sticker
36:37above my head
36:38about the airbag
36:39I don't want to read it
36:40I'm saving it
36:41by now it was lunchtime
36:44and we were peckish
36:45but we weren't allowed
36:47to get out of the car
36:48so we were relying
36:49on the 4-4's
36:50head-turning looks
36:51to help us get fed
36:53excuse me
36:54excuse me
36:55madam
36:56I was going to ask you
36:58if you'd go and buy me
36:59a Cornish pasty
37:01there's lots of money
37:02do you mind
37:02bring us the change
37:03we've just made that
37:06poor woman join the
37:07back of a huge queue
37:08thank you very much
37:09and you've got the chance
37:10you're really kind
37:11thank you
37:12I want a drink
37:13could you get us
37:16a cup of tea
37:17hello
37:18oh you're really
37:19really kind
37:20if you went
37:21if you went there
37:21yeah
37:22could you get us
37:23a copy of the telegraph
37:24not that cup of tea
37:29that
37:29it's alright
37:30so by early afternoon
37:35we'd learned that
37:36the 4-4 is
37:37expensive
37:38and tiring
37:39on motorways
37:40but on the plus side
37:41its looks could charm
37:42the birds from the trees
37:44now it was time
37:45to test the handling
37:46and where better
37:47than sneaking
37:48a few cheeky laps
37:49around an empty
37:50go-kart track
37:51that was a terrible
37:56bit of driving
37:56it wasn't
37:57it was the curves
37:58that's what you do
37:59in truth
38:00we had no idea
38:01how the car
38:02would perform
38:03because whilst
38:04the smart roadster
38:05is one of the best
38:06handling cars around
38:07the tiny smart city car
38:09is one of the worst
38:11but as it turns out
38:12the 4-4 is actually
38:13rather good
38:14what do you reckon
38:15from that side
38:17it just feels like I'm being
38:19driven around by an amateur
38:20it's good isn't it
38:23it feels quite perky
38:24it's not bad
38:25is it
38:25it's got real gears
38:27which must make a difference
38:28yeah this is the first smart car
38:30ever to have
38:31a proper gearbox
38:33isn't it
38:33after that spirited drive
38:39it was time for a tea break
38:40at the seaside
38:41where we could check out
38:42some of the car's
38:43comfort features
38:44you know we've been sitting here
38:47I've drunk my tea now
38:49we've been holding these cups
38:50and I've just remembered
38:50that this armrest
38:51yes
38:52it rotates
38:53yes it does
38:54and it's got
38:55a cup holder
38:57I think that's quite clever
39:00I mean it's not really
39:01I think it's another example
39:02of cup holder
39:03one upmanship
39:03this is alright
39:04this panoramic roof job
39:06yeah actually
39:08it illuminates the crossword
39:09like no other car
39:10wait
39:18wait
39:19yeah
39:20we're gonna have to go
39:22I am
39:24I'm sorry
39:25it's not so bad though
39:29because
39:29I brought
39:31these
39:32what is that
39:35wee bags
39:36it's for
39:37you have a pee in it
39:39oh my god
39:40that's hideous
39:40no you're wee
39:41in that end
39:42and then it's full of
39:43special crystals
39:44that turn into a gel
39:46and they absorb your
39:47pee
39:48I'll get him back
39:49yeah would you
39:49if I have the radio on
39:54at some rate
39:54should we find
39:56oh god
40:18it was time to head
40:20to our overnight spot
40:21Pluckley
40:22the most haunted village
40:24in England
40:24if we could sleep
40:25in the 4-4 here
40:27we could sleep in it
40:28anywhere
40:28this little village
40:30has got 12 ghosts
40:32apparently
40:32that's it really
40:33yeah we've got the
40:34coat and horses
40:35the colonel
40:36the highwayman
40:37the miller
40:37the monk
40:38the schoolmaster
40:38a screaming man
40:40wouldn't think there was a room
40:41would you
40:42where are we anyway
40:43oh we are in
40:45the screaming woods
40:47nice
40:48hi
40:49hello
40:50can I order some pizza please
40:52yes
40:52um to take away
40:53sorry can I
40:54do you deliver
40:55you do
40:56good
40:57okay
40:57it's um
40:59well do you know the
41:00screaming woods
41:02yes
41:03opposite
41:04fright woods
41:05um
41:05that's where we are
41:06okay
41:07um
41:08good luck
41:09series 5
41:10don't take the mic
41:12imagine
41:13oh
41:13oh
41:14oh
41:14don't have to go past
41:17the highwayman
41:18the brickworks
41:20where the other
41:21screaming bloke is
41:22screaming yes
41:22and the schoolmaster
41:24who was found
41:25hanging from the tree
41:26by his pupils
41:27all sorts of stuff
41:29oh
41:29hanging by his pupils
41:31that's gotta hurt
41:33no not hanging by his pupils
41:34he was found
41:36by his pupils
41:37hanging from a tree
41:38it just turned out
41:40to be a totally
41:41ghostly pizza
41:42and when they opened
41:43the box
41:44there was nothing there
41:46ah
41:48it's the pizza
41:50it's the pizza
41:51hi mate
41:52I suppose you're
41:53the headless pizza boy
41:54of the apocalypse
41:55are you
41:56oh yeah
41:57see look
41:59it's more like
42:01a lounge already
42:02well it's more like
42:03a lounge
42:04no it's got the pizza
42:04in it
42:05and this works
42:05yeah
42:06this back seat
42:07slides back
42:07on the floor
42:08today
42:08you pull the lever
42:09and it moves the
42:09back of the floor
42:10and you can put
42:10your feet up on there
42:11but what I don't like
42:12is why do they have
42:12to call it lounge concept
42:14why don't they call it
42:15folding seats
42:17the interior of the
42:214-4 is actually
42:22a nice place to be
42:24we'd been cooped up
42:25in it for 16 hours
42:27now
42:27and we hadn't
42:28murdered each other
42:29yet
42:29but maybe something else
42:32would take care of that job
42:34with just a few hours to go
42:58would we make it through the night to deliver our verdict
43:02or would Pluckley be gaining a couple more ghosts
43:06so obviously you weren't eaten by nearly headless Nick
43:14no no no we made it
43:15but I do have a question which is did you really genuinely spend 24 hours in the car
43:21yes we did
43:21yes
43:22you never got out
43:23no
43:23no we did it
43:25hand on heart
43:25yeah absolutely
43:2624 hours
43:27so you've extensively tested the car
43:29and the verdict is
43:30would you buy one
43:30no
43:31no
43:31it's too expensive for what it is
43:36because basically underneath
43:37it's just a Mitsubishi Colt isn't it
43:39it is
43:39and actually the Colt
43:41you get more for your money
43:42it's slightly roomier
43:44and it's less overall
43:46it's about a thousand quid cheaper
43:47really
43:47yeah
43:48so would you buy the Colt
43:50no
43:50okay well this leads us on to an idea we've had
43:55it's the top gear down to earth board
43:57you see the problem is
43:58is we get a lot of criticisms
43:59from viewers who say that we spend far too much time talking about Zonders and Ferraris and Aston Martins
44:05and not enough time giving advice
44:08you know sensible buying advice to people in cardigans
44:11so what we've got here
44:13are all the small cars
44:14there's the little smart
44:16there's the Mitsubishi Colt on which it's based
44:18and now we've driven all of these
44:21and we think that if you're going to buy such a thing
44:24go for either the Honda Jazz
44:26or the Toyota Yaris
44:29those are the two
44:30okay
44:31right now Aston Martin
44:33when I drove the DB9 earlier this year
44:38I remember thinking
44:39why would anyone buy the Vanquish
44:42I mean
44:43they're the same size
44:44they look pretty much the same
44:46they have the same engine
44:46same power
44:47same top speed
44:48and yet the Vanquish is £60,000 more expensive
44:52it just seemed potty
44:53but now Aston Martin have said
44:56that this
44:57has been made a lot
44:59lot better
45:00this is the result
45:04the Vanquish S
45:05the idea is
45:16that you buy a DB9
45:17if you want
45:17to lope across Europe
45:19and then one of these
45:21if you want a
45:22bare knuckle
45:24pedal to the metal thrash
45:26on a Sunday morning
45:28hey
45:29so how then
45:34have they created
45:35this new
45:35sportiness
45:36it looks the same
45:38as the old car
45:39from the outside
45:40and the interior
45:41is pretty similar
45:42as well
45:43so
45:46you're probably
45:48expecting the engine
45:49to be some kind of
45:50nitroglycerine
45:52fuelled rocket
45:53let's have a look
45:55nope
45:58they fiddled with it a bit
46:00but in essence
46:00it's the same 6 litre V12
46:02you get
46:02in the DB9
46:03sounds pretty much
46:06the same as before
46:07and at £174,000
46:09it also costs
46:10pretty much the same
46:11as well
46:12so at this point
46:14you're probably wondering
46:15have they actually done
46:17anything significant
46:18at all
46:19well
46:22they've
46:22lowered the ride height
46:24stiffened up the suspension
46:25and quickened up
46:26the steering
46:27but the simple answer is
46:29no
46:30however
46:32if you
46:34really concentrate
46:36you can tell
46:37that all those
46:39little changes
46:40add up
46:40to make a
46:42big difference
46:43I mean
46:45watch this
46:46it's a bit like
46:50looking at yourself
46:51in the mirror
46:52after you've been
46:52on a heavy diet
46:53you think
46:54it's still me
46:56but a kind of leaner
46:57fitter version of me
46:59they may have only fiddled with the engine
47:02but the result is 520 brake horsepower
47:05that's 60 more than before
47:07flat out
47:14you'll be doing more than 200 miles an hour
47:16and it stops better too
47:18because it now has brakes
47:20which aren't made from old biscuit barrels
47:23but what about the stupid flappy paddle gearbox
47:27well they say they've cracked it with the vanquish S
47:31so let's find out
47:32let's just stop
47:33put it into first
47:35now if I put my foot down in the old car
47:37I've just got a lot of smoke
47:39from the clutch
47:40let's just try this
47:42that's okay
47:48up changes are still ludicrously jerky though
47:53and
47:54it still won't change down
47:58when I want it to
47:59come on
48:00I want a second
48:00now
48:01now
48:01now
48:01I paid for the car
48:02I want to choose
48:04when to change gear
48:05not you
48:06I know best
48:07I have to say though
48:10that apart from the gearbox
48:11this is way better than it was before
48:13it feels faster
48:15tauter
48:16and harder
48:16so there's no doubt
48:18they have moved it away
48:20from the DB9
48:21unfortunately however
48:25that means they've moved it
48:27right into the firing line
48:29of one of the biggest names
48:30in the business
48:31what we have here
48:37is a Ferrari
48:38575
48:39like the Aston
48:41it's a big
48:42two-seater
48:43no-compromise
48:44sports coupe
48:45with a V12 engine
48:47at the front
48:48a flappy paddle gearbox
48:50in the middle
48:51and rear-wheel drive
48:53at the back
48:54and like the Aston
48:55it has recently been given
48:57a thorough going over
48:58to make it a bit more
49:00of a brute
49:00when the 575
49:04first came out
49:05it was a soft
49:06quiet
49:07rather wallowy
49:09old Hector
49:09now they fixed that
49:11quite quickly
49:11and now
49:12they've
49:13fixed the fix
49:14with what they're calling
49:15the
49:16GTC handling pack
49:19for an extra
49:3216,000 pounds
49:33you get
49:34thicker anti-roll bars
49:35stiffer suspension
49:37fatter tires
49:38and ceramic brakes
49:40you also get
49:43a new exhaust
49:43so it sounds
49:44like a Ferrari
49:45should
49:46have to say
49:58the changes
49:59have really
50:01sharpened
50:01this thing up
50:02this has got
50:05a much
50:06much
50:07better gearbox
50:08than the one
50:08in the Aston
50:08still flappy paddles
50:10but
50:10less jerky
50:11on the way up
50:12and faster
50:13on the way down
50:15better still
50:17if you're a serious
50:18driver
50:19you can have
50:19a proper manual
50:20with a clutch pedal
50:21this is really
50:23designed for
50:23you know
50:24posers
50:24people who've got
50:25carpet warehouses
50:26in Huddersfield
50:27who's what to
50:27show off to the
50:29mates at Golf Club
50:30hey I've gone
50:30I've got one of them
50:31gearboxes like
50:32Michael Schumacher
50:33so
50:38what do we reckon
50:39on paper
50:40these two cars
50:41are incredibly
50:42similar
50:42they both cost
50:43about the same
50:44they both produce
50:45more than 500
50:46brake horsepower
50:47and they'll both
50:48crack
50:49200 miles an hour
50:51to decide
50:53which is best
50:54we need to do
50:55some back to back
50:55tests
50:56and that means
50:56I need another
50:57driver for the
50:59other car
50:59there's only one
51:00man for the job
51:01Rowan Atkinson
51:02sadly Rowan was
51:04busy so I called
51:05an old mate of mine
51:06he's a big petrol
51:07head
51:07Steve Coogan
51:09the first test we
51:13have is a simple
51:15drag race
51:16I've got five more
51:36brake horsepower
51:37than Coogan
51:37and the Ferrari
51:38but I'm carrying
51:39an extra 100 kilograms
51:40and it's the weight
51:41that's costing me
51:43this race
51:44next we did a
51:48braking test
51:49and once again
51:50the Ferrari
51:51was the winner
51:52but the big
51:55deciding factor
51:56is how these
51:57cars
51:58make you feel
51:59can't multitask
52:12they've got to
52:13drive or talk
52:14can't do both
52:15there was no doubt
52:42that the Aston
52:43made the better noise
52:44but what about
52:45everything else
52:46well to decide
52:51we pulled over
52:52for a little chat
52:54in terms of
52:54like drivability
52:55this is just
52:56it just gives you
52:57loads of information
52:58when you're driving
52:59through your fingertips
52:59you can feel
53:00the back end going
53:01I mean this is
53:02brilliant
53:02that's super brilliant
53:04I wouldn't feel
53:05upset if someone
53:06gave me that
53:07no
53:07I wouldn't feel
53:08upset if I bought
53:09one
53:09I think
53:10I've got a really
53:11good car
53:11I would after
53:12about 12 months
53:13when I looked at
53:13the depreciation
53:14but if I didn't
53:16have to worry
53:17about that
53:17my first name
53:18was shake
53:19then I'd
53:20probably go for
53:21that
53:21I just thought
53:22that that was
53:23that was
53:23tauter
53:24and more muscular
53:26and it is a little
53:27bit faster
53:28and it does
53:28stop a lot better
53:29the gearbox is
53:30better and I just
53:31thought it was
53:32the better car
53:32however
53:33however
53:34I'm bored
53:35with Ferrari
53:36well I just
53:37I don't
53:37styling wise
53:38I mean
53:39I just
53:39there's no
53:40contest
53:40that's a much
53:41more attractive
53:41car
53:42oh it's a nicer
53:43place to sit
53:44nicer place to sit
53:44I always think
53:45if you're going to
53:45buy a really
53:46expensive car
53:47how would you feel
53:48sitting in a traffic
53:48jam in the car
53:49I once did own a
53:51red Ferrari
53:51it was like
53:52it was the
53:52magnum one
53:53did you have a
53:55I had a stick
53:56on one
53:57I just took out
53:57of the glove box
53:58and stuck on
53:58whenever I drove it
53:59and I got stuck
54:00in a traffic jam
54:01in Camden
54:02and I remember
54:02people walking
54:03past going
54:03there's Steve
54:03Cooney's Ferrari
54:04and I was
54:06sort of going
54:06hi
54:06yeah
54:07I've got
54:07one of these
54:08yeah
54:08so what we're
54:08really saying
54:09then is that
54:10for a flashing
54:11round on a
54:12test track
54:12the Ferrari's
54:13the better car
54:14yeah definitely
54:15but we think
54:16it's a bit
54:16flash and a bit
54:17boring now
54:18yeah
54:19and also
54:19the stylings
54:21you know
54:21the last
54:22nice
54:22355 was nice
54:23but all those
54:23Daytonas and
54:24Dinos had real
54:25style and there's
54:26something just
54:26a bit
54:27I don't think
54:27these will age
54:28well
54:28given the choice
54:30I'd have one
54:31of those
54:31yeah
54:31so should
54:33we arm wrestle
54:33for it
54:34we both agreed
54:36the Ferrari
54:37was the better
54:37car
54:38but because of
54:39that
54:39we both agreed
54:40we'd rather have
54:41the underdog
54:41the Minardi
54:42the Tim Henman
54:43the Bolton
54:44Wanderer
54:45the Aston Martin
54:46Vanquish is not
54:47quite good enough
54:48to win this test
54:49but precisely
54:50because of that
54:51it does win
54:53your heart
54:53it's a good
54:56it's a good
54:56it's controversial
54:57it's controversial
54:57I know
54:58and you've been agreed
54:59yeah
55:00so
55:00you both agreed
55:01you know the Vanquish
55:02do you know what
55:04I would actually
55:05save the £60,000
55:06and have the DB9 still
55:07really
55:08I really would
55:08the problem with this
55:09is it's gearbox
55:11it's just
55:12still that bad
55:13oh no
55:14bad
55:14Robert Mugabe
55:15is bad
55:16this is just
55:17in a way
55:17different league
55:18of badness
55:19that's very bad
55:19it's appalling
55:20no I mean
55:21the thing is
55:21after I'd finished
55:22with it
55:22gave it to the Stig
55:23halfway around the lap
55:24it stopped selecting
55:25third
55:25went back to the factory
55:26got fixed
55:27came down
55:28he set off again
55:29it stopped selecting
55:30all gears
55:31back to the factory
55:32again
55:32so did it ever
55:33actually manage
55:33a complete lap
55:34yeah finally
55:35three weeks
55:36after it first set off
55:38it finally managed
55:39to do a lap
55:39and we've got it
55:40for you now
55:41oh slow off the line
55:44obviously trying to
55:45keep the gearbox
55:45in one piece
55:46before he gets down
55:47to the first corner
55:48which he is
55:49approaching now
55:50it's quite tidy
55:53through there
55:54yeah that's not bad
55:57right and into Chicago
56:06here
56:07a bit of a lurch
56:09going on there
56:10a bit of
56:11oversteer
56:12on the way out
56:13still the gearbox
56:15has worked all the way
56:16down to Hammerhead
56:17so that's not bad
56:18going around that
56:19he's got an awful
56:20lot of understeer there
56:21because it is
56:23quite a heavy car
56:24you have to remember
56:25that
56:25into the follow
56:32through
56:32he's going to have
56:33to slow down a wee bit
56:34for this
56:34that's very
56:35maybe heavy
56:35but it's very fast
56:37listen to that noise
56:40it is one of the greatest
56:43noises in the world
56:45that that thing makes
56:46here he is
56:46second to last corner
56:47kissing the apex perfectly
56:49and round the last corner
56:51and across the line
56:52and the time is
56:54one minute
56:55twenty seven point one
56:57which goes
56:58and go
57:00going into
57:02how does that compare to the old one though?
57:06well that was
57:07one thirty six point two
57:08what's down there look?
57:09that's wet
57:10it was the wettest day
57:11we've ever had here
57:12so you can't really do anything
57:13I'll tell you what
57:13you might be interested in hearing
57:14then
57:14we timed a DB9 round here
57:17do you know what time it did?
57:19Vanquish S
57:20127.1
57:22DB9
57:22127.1
57:24oh really?
57:25it's exactly the same
57:2660,000 pound difference
57:27exactly the same speed
57:29and it's this gearbox
57:30if they
57:30because it won't
57:31it wouldn't give the Stig
57:32the gear he wanted
57:33it was driving him nuts
57:35he kept saying
57:35but you're changing
57:35no it
57:36Aston please
57:38stop it
57:39just stop it
57:41offer a proper gearbox
57:42for proper drivers
57:43you know
57:44because it's such a great car
57:45and they ruin it
57:46they ruin it
57:47with that stupid gearbox
57:48anyway
57:49while they're changing that
57:50let's see how the Ferrari got on
57:53oh and off the line
57:55he's leaving a huge fat number 11
57:57because of course
57:58the gearbox in that
57:59can take the power
58:00through the first corner
58:02look how flat that's cornering
58:03it looks just so much more nimble
58:05than the Aston
58:06there he is round Chicago
58:09you see that's looking better
58:11controlled than the Aston
58:13as well as
58:13oh I hammerhead
58:17oh he is
58:17you see none of that understeer
58:19that we got from the Aston Martin
58:20he just held the line
58:21little bit of power oversteer
58:23on the way out
58:24heading down now
58:24to the follow through
58:25okay he'll have to lift
58:27he has to lift
58:28through the tyre wall
58:29of course the paddle gearbox
58:34is better in this
58:35than it is in the Aston
58:36but that is like saying
58:36that rabies is better
58:37than botulism
58:38as he comes round
58:39the last corner
58:40and across the line
58:41and the time is
58:431.26.8
58:45so
58:46it's actually
58:51only 0.3 of a second
58:53faster than a vanquish
58:54only 0.3 of a second
58:55faster than a DB9
58:56I was expecting more than that
58:58I must be honest
58:58nevertheless
58:59Ferrari has won a race
59:02good lord
59:02isn't that amazing
59:04in fact
59:05on that bombshell
59:06we have to end
59:07see you again next week
59:08goodnight
59:08and don't forget to vote
59:16in our top gear
59:17restoration competition
59:18telephone
59:19090
59:2011
59:2011
59:2111
59:218
59:223
59:235
59:235
59:259
59:252
59:263
59:423
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