Bereavement Policy Impact on Employee Trust

A scenario that really hurts grieving employees: Being told that their grandparent, aunty, or best friend doesn’t "count" for compassionate leave. It’s a gut punch, especially if they: - Have worked for you for years - Always give 110% - Never ask for anything in return One simple policy change can make all the difference: "We trust our people and know that families come in all shapes and sizes, so we let you decide who you take bereavement leave for." Simple. Compassionate. Human. Companies that nail this truly get what it means to support their people.

Before Bereave vs. After Bereave Before Bereave An employee loses a loved one. The company responds with the typical playbook: • 3–5 days of bereavement leave • A link to the EAP • Managers unsure what to say • No guidance for the team • HR figuring things out case-by-case, on the fly • Workload confusion after the employee returns • Support disappears once leave ends Everyone has good intentions. But there’s no structure for one of the hardest moments in an employee’s life. After Bereave The same situation happens but the company is prepared. Now they have: • Manager guidance and conversation scripts • Clear communication frameworks for supporting grieving employees • A plan for the team when loss affects the workplace • Resources employees can actually use, not just a generic hotline • Support that continues after leave ends • Guidance for HR on policies, communication, and next steps • Confidence that leaders know how to respond Instead of reacting to loss, the company knows exactly what to do. Outcome? Real interactions like this... Greiving employee to her boss: "you did all of these things for me when I lost my dad. I am so thankful but I could never thank you enough. A true leader..." Most companies have a bereavement policy. Very few have a bereavement strategy. That gap is exactly what Bereave was built to solve.

The email read, "Hemant will be out indefinitely due to a family situation." Two months later, Hemant quietly returned to work. No one mentioned his mother's passing. No one knew what to say. So they said nothing. Grief in the workplace remains largely invisible, despite affecting nearly every employee at some point in their career. Consider these common scenarios: - A team member experiences pregnancy loss - A colleague loses a spouse unexpectedly - An employee's parent requires end-of-life care - How does your organization respond? Most companies limit their support to standard bereavement policies—typically just 3-5 days of leave. This approach fails to recognize grief's unpredictable nature and lasting impact. I recently witnessed the difference thoughtful grief support makes. Two companies handled similar situations very differently: Company A's approach: - Standard 3-day bereavement leave only - Immediate performance expectations upon return - No manager guidance on supporting grief - Zero follow-up or additional resources Whereas, company B provided: - Flexible, personalized return-to-work planning - Regular check-ins without performance pressure - Manager training on supporting grieving team members - Connection to grief counseling resources Their employee not only stayed but later shared, "How they supported me created a loyalty no compensation package could match." The business case is clear. Meaningful grief support directly impacts retention, engagement, and team cohesion. PS: How might your grief support policies need updating?

Hot take: Employers, it’s short-sighted to be stingy with paid bereavement leave. I saw this tweet about Matthew Perry and his castmates and I thought, in most workplaces, if a beloved friend dies, you aren’t even eligible for paid bereavement leave. There are a hundred different scenarios where your employee is deeply impacted by the death of someone who does not meet your definition of “immediate family.”  To which you, the employer, reply, “Well, we give employees the ‘flexibility’ to take their PTO if they need time off to attend a funeral for someone who isn’t immediate family.” That’s nice. But realistically, that works better in January than it does at the end of October. There’s a decent chance employees have already used most of their leave, or have earmarked it for vacation time (or a medical leave of absence) later in the year. “In that case, the employee can take leave without pay if they don’t have PTO available.” Sooo, you make employees choose between attending a funeral for a loved one, and a whole day of pay? 🤔 “Fine,” you say, “But allowing employees to take off whenever anyone dies will impact productivity.” Do the production lines literally grind to a complete halt while Jim attends the funeral of his aunt who was like a mother to him? Does the company shut down if Kelly's phone isn't answered for a day? Probably not. Chances are, you can accommodate. Sometimes people we love die without regard to how busy it is in our office or whether it's a peak period or just before a big deadline. “What if an employee has more than one death in a year? Do I have to pay them every time?” Yes, Grinch. You should give that employee your empathy along with some extra grace as they deal with grief upon grief. “We had an employee lie about their grandma dying, just to get bereavement leave.” Don’t make one person’s misguided policy violation the reason for your draconian bereavement leave policy. What is it about your corporate culture that makes employees feel like they have to lie in order to access time away from work? There’s a compelling case for offering expanded, flexible bereavement leave, without regard to who was related to whom, and when, how much and how often it may be taken. 💡 It demonstrates empathy and compassion towards employees during difficult times. It makes them feel seen. 💡 It helps employees cope with the loss of a loved one without the added stress of work responsibilities. Chances are they aren’t doing their best work in the midst of the roller coaster that is grief. 💡 It boosts your company’s reputation, positioning you as an employer that values work-life balance and supports its employees' well-being.   Employers, try playing the long game when it comes to bereavement time off. Give your employees agency. This will go a long way toward improving morale, engagement, and loyalty. #grief #bereavement #workplaceculture

I tragically lost my sister, Sarah, in 2018. Three years later, I lost my Dad to COVID in 2021. I was living 5,000 miles away in the USA, raising a small family. And I was very lucky. I was fortunate to work for a progressive company that supported me during both losses—with generous paid leave and internal resources. But not everyone has that kind of workplace culture. Losing a loved one is one of life's most challenging experiences, yet many employees are expected to grieve on a "tight schedule." Here's the truth: There's no timeline for grief. It's a confronting emotion that others aren't always equipped to hold space for. That's why forward-thinking companies that rethink their approach to bereavement leave will have stronger cultures and more loyal employees. As a Chief People Officer and Leadership Coach, here's how I envision these benefits could look: 1. Extend leave beyond immediate family – Grief isn't limited to spouses and parents. Include grandparents, siblings, and even close friends. 2. Offer flexible return-to-work plans – Allow employees to ease back in gradually with part-time hours or remote work options. 3. Provide counseling services – Offer free, confidential grief counseling to help employees process their emotions. 4. Train managers on grief support – Equip leaders with the skills to have empathetic conversations and provide ongoing support. 5. Allow employees to "bank" bereavement days – Give the option to use leave when needed, even months after the loss. 6. Eliminate the need for "proof" – Trust employees and remove the burden of providing death certificates or obituaries. 7. Extend leave for pregnancy loss – Recognize that the grief of miscarriage deserves time and space to heal. When employees feel supported through life's toughest moments, they're more likely to stay loyal, engaged, and connected to the organization. The companies leading the way understand that bereavement leave isn't about checking a box. It's about creating a culture of empathy, trust, and genuine care for people. Have you seen an organization handle bereavement leave really well? I'd love to hear about them in the comments.

Last week, Sumaya Moodley sent me a message: “Kell, my mom has passed.” With just a few words, I could hear her heart shattering. Without hesitation, I set up her out-of-office and granted extended bereavement leave — because no one should be told, “You have 3 days to grieve a loved one.” Especially not a parent, a Mom. I found myself wrestling with so many questions which I imagine many other small business owners face too: • In a small team, where each person carries a big load, how do you manage absence without collapsing operations? • How do you honour policies while also honouring people? • How do you ensure someone who is hurting feels valued, not burdensome? Ive been reading resources like The Loss Foundation’s guide on “Bereavement in the Workplace,” which offers practical guardrails for responding humanely to loss. Here are a few ideas from their guidance combined with how I’m thinking about applying them in our context: 1) Have a clear bereavement policy. A written policy (that’s easy to access) outlining leave, flexible work, return-to-work plans. ❓Why it matters: Removes uncertainty and ensures fairness (so compassion doesn’t feel ad hoc) 2) Manager training in grief literacy. Equipping leaders to recognise grief signs, have difficult conversations, offer flexible support ❓Why it matters: Enables more empathetic and confident responses rather than reactive ones. 3) Flexible arrangements & transition plans. Adjusted workloads, phased returns, remote/part-time options ❓Why it matters: Helps people reintegrate without overwhelm 4) Tangible mental health & grief resources. Counselling, peer support, toolkits, worksheets ❓Why it matters: Because you can’t expect everyone to just “bounce back” 5) Listening & boundary respect. Offer space to talk (if they want), and the grace to retreat (if they don’t) ❓Why it matters: Grief is deeply personal. one size doesn’t fit all When a team member tells you their mother has passed, you don’t ask “When will you be back?” You first listen. ❤️ In most small organisations, losing a person for a few days feels like losing 20% of capacity. And yes — work looms. Deadlines, clients, deliverables. But if our people are broken, any output we demand will be brittle. So here’s what I am aiming for: 1. Institutionalise compassion. Policies, not just goodwill. 2. Train for empathy. Equip our leaders to carry grief gently. 3. Be flexible at re-entry. Return, don’t revive — allow space to heal. 4. Make support visible and accessible. Because people in pain don’t always know how to ask. Today, every person on my team told me how much they missed Sumaya, not her work ethic, not her emails, just her. Because she is part of us an we are part of her. Share your thoughts! In your work environments (especially small teams), how have you handled deep loss? What approaches worked (or didn’t)? How do you keep compassion from being “the nice to have” when operations demand consistency?

Always do the right thing. Even if it goes against the employee handbook. For example, a common policy I see is three days for bereavement leave. What does that mean? When an employee loses a loved one, companies offer just three days off. Three days is ludicrous. I’ve personally had employees who have lost children, parents, and spouses. I’ve seen the emotional toll these events take. Three days isn’t enough to process that kind of loss, let alone be back on the job. So, I take action. I don’t follow the employee handbook to the letter when someone’s going through a crisis. I advocate for them. In situations like this, I’ve given 30 days off, sometimes more, because it’s the right thing to do. It’s not about loyalty or what’s on paper. And it certainly isn’t about gratitude. I do it because it’s what anyone would want in that situation. It’s about being human. When you lead with empathy and emotional intelligence, you build trust and create an environment where people truly feel cared for.

Imagine losing a loved one and being told your bereavement leave is denied: ‘Sorry, they’re not 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 your family.’ This is a real story. An employee was denied bereavement leave because the person who died 'wasn’t their uncle anymore.' It didn’t matter that the employee was extremely close with them. That they had grown up only knowing this person as family. All that mattered was that their uncle and aunt had gotten a divorce. I’m a CPO, so I understand the need for policy and consistency. What I don’t understand, is setting and enforcing strict policy on GRIEF - a complex and deeply personal experience. Who are we to decide how much someone’s life is worth to our employee? That their blood family carries more value than their chosen family? I was once nearly denied bereavement leave. One of my best friends had been struggling through a battle with brain cancer. He was young, talented and full of life, until he wasn’t. I had to petition to get time off to attend the services because "friends aren't included in our policy." To these employers (and anyone like them): Your strict, unbendable policies don't ‘save’ your company anything. In fact, they cost you something irreplaceable - trust. What happens when you lose trust? Loyalty, performance and profits follow shortly after. Being strict isn't a strength, flexibility is. Don’t let your power blind you from your impact.

Resilience is one of those buzzwords that gets thrown around a lot, and I’ve got a real problem with it. It’s defined as “the ability to be happy and successful again after something difficult or bad has happened” One of my biggest gripes with this definition? It assumes everyone is starting from the same place. That’s simply not true. We all experience challenges differently, and how we cope depends on: 🫂The support systems we have (or don’t have) 💡Our access to knowledge and education 🪨The other pressures life throws our way 😟Our mental and physical health at any given time For example, meet Becky. She lost her dad as a child and has spent the last 10 years as her mum’s carer, all while holding down a full-time job. Now, her mum has passed away, and Becky’s five-day bereavement leave is coming to an end. She has no family to help with the endless admin: clearing out her mum’s house, sorting paperwork, navigating probate. Her whole identity has revolved around caring for her mum, and years of grief for her dad are catching up with her. She’s struggling, suddenly realising she doesn’t have anyone left. Becky’s manager is kind but inexperienced. She’s unsure how to challenge policies and there's no return to work guidance to follow, so she reaches out and asks Becky when she’ll be back at work. Becky returns, but she’s barely holding on. Her mind is consumed with the never-ending list of tasks. She’s squeezing calls with solicitors into lunch breaks and spending hours after work sorting through her mum’s belongings. She’s becoming more isolated, falling behind, and eventually, she can’t cope anymore. She takes extended leave and resigns a month later. Did Becky fail to be resilient? Not at all. Resilience shouldn’t mean pushing through until you break. But for so many, that’s exactly what happens. Five days off? Simply not enough. She doesn’t need pressure to bounce back. She needs trust, flexibility, phased returns, reduced workloads. I know this because I’ve met hundreds of Beckys. Most of them were in grief support groups when my dad died. So how do we fix this? ✅ Teach managers human-centered skills - leading with compassion and understanding. ✅ Create policies that actually reflect real life - flexible, adaptable, built for people. ✅ Recognise that Becky could be any of us. A friend, a colleague, a partner & we owe it to her to advocate for better. Next time you hear someone talk about “building a resilient team,” think twice about what that means. Listen to your employees & honour their experiences that might be impacting their ability to show up 100%. You never truly know what someone is carrying.

🥺 “Finish the Funeral rituals and proceed ahead.” That was the cold reply a grieving employee received when he requested work-from-home after his father’s demise. He had already taken 5 days off and a week of WFH to manage the hospital visits and funeral. But his mother, shattered and alone, needed him longer. So he asked for a month of remote work. The manager’s response? 🔹 No empathy. 🔹 No conversation. 🔹Just silence and a curt message asking him to return to office. Feeling helpless, he shared his story on Reddit. What followed was a wave of outrage and support from strangers offering advice, referrals, and even job opportunities. But it leaves us with questions: 📌 When did deadlines start mattering more than basic humanity? 📌 Why are bereavement policies in India so ambiguous? 📌 And how many more employees must suffer in silence because “client commitments” come first? As leaders, we often talk about “people-first culture.” But moments like these are the real test. 🕊️ Grief doesn’t come with a timeline. 👉 Empathy shouldn’t come with conditions either. Would you choose client satisfaction over a grieving employee’s need? Or would you step up as a human first? What’s your take on this? Does your organization have a compassionate bereavement policy? #Leadership #WorkplaceCulture #Compassion #WFH #CorporateIndia