Tips for Fostering a Growth Mindset in 1:1 Conversations

Performance conversations are more than evaluations—they're opportunities to inspire reflection, growth, and clarity. I've been reflecting on how we can approach these moments with greater purpose.   Too often, we dive into discussions focused solely on outcomes or metrics. But what if we paused to look deeper? What if we encouraged employees—and ourselves—to approach these moments from different vantage points: stepping back to observe like a fly on the wall, zooming out to the balcony for perspective, and then engaging with purpose on the dance floor?   This layered approach challenges us to ask meaningful questions: "What patterns am I noticing? How do my efforts align with broader goals? What could I do better?" It’s a mindset shift that transforms performance conversations into opportunities for growth, even when outcomes aren’t ideal. Here are a few practical ways to bring this perspective to life: 1. Start with Observation (Fly on the Wall): Before diving into feedback, encourage employees to reflect on their contributions objectively. Ask questions like " What moments felt like your strongest? What would you approach differently? help set a tone of self-awareness." 2. Zoom Out to the Bigger Picture (Balcony): Help employees see how their work connects to broader team and organizational goals. This shift in perspective ensures the conversation isn’t just about isolated outcomes but about long-term impact and alignment. 3. Engage with Purpose (Dance Floor): End every conversation with actionable steps and encouragement. Even when feedback is tough, leave employees with clarity and optimism. A simple affirmation like "I believe in your ability to grow from this", can turn a challenging moment into a catalyst for improvement. Performance conversations are a dance between reflection and action, but they’re also about perspective—knowing when to step back, when to zoom out, and when to engage fully. When we guide our teams to critique their own contributions—not to judge, but to grow—we unlock their potential and leave them inspired to improve. Would love to hear your perspective.

If you’ve ever had a team member say, “That’s not my job,” you know how frustrating it can be. But here’s the hard truth: that mindset isn’t just their fault—it’s a reflection of the culture we’ve created as leaders. When leaders unknowingly reinforce 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗶𝗱 𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗲𝘀, people play it safe instead of stepping up. Learning new skills feels like extra work instead of an opportunity. The team leans too much on a few high performers while others disengage. And when leaders try to fix it, many make the mistake of 𝗽𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿. 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗗𝗼 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗗𝗲𝗳𝗮𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗽 I’ve seen leaders react with frustration: • “That’s not up for discussion—just do it.” • “We all have to do things we don’t like.” • “If you can’t adapt, you won’t last here.”    But forcing people doesn’t create engagement—it kills it. The more we push, the more they resist. People need to see 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲 in growth, or they’ll reject it. 𝗗𝗼 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱: 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗣𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘀 Great teams don’t operate with a “stay in your lane” mentality. They embrace growth, adaptability, and shared responsibility. But that starts with how we lead. 𝟭. 𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗲𝘁 → 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝗢𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 If I don’t model a growth mindset, why would my team? If I act like learning is an inconvenience, they will too. In my book, 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘗𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘗𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘛𝘦𝘢𝘮, I talk about the 𝗪𝗲 𝗕𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗠𝗲 principle—the best teams don’t just do their jobs, they help each other win. Leadership is about creating an environment where people see growth as the key to success, not as extra work. 𝟮. 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗗𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 → 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘄𝗮𝘆, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗮 𝗣𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 • Reframe the expectation: “𝘞𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘫𝘰𝘣𝘴—𝘸𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘶𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦.” • In 1-on-1s, ask: “𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸? 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵?” • Recognize and celebrate those who step up to learn something new. 𝟯. 𝗣𝘂𝘁 𝗜𝘁 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 → 𝗧𝗵𝗲 ‘𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲’ 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 Pick a skill your team depends on and ask, “𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳?” Then, have employees teach each other in a 15-minute session. It’s a simple way to create a culture where people 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝘂𝗽 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝘂𝘁. How do you encourage your team to embrace growth instead of resisting it? Let me know in the comments.

If your one-on-ones are primarily status updates, you're missing a massive opportunity to build trust, develop talent, and drive real results. After working with countless leadership teams across industries, I've found that the most effective managers approach 1:1s with a fundamentally different mindset... They see these meetings as investments in people, not project tracking sessions. Great 1:1s focus on these three elements: 1. Support: Create space for authentic conversations about challenges, both professional and personal. When people feel safe discussing real obstacles, you can actually help remove them. Questions to try: "What's currently making your job harder than it needs to be?" "Where could you use more support from me?" 2. Growth: Use 1:1s to understand aspirations and build development paths. People who see a future with your team invest more deeply in the present. Questions to explore: "What skills would you like to develop in the next six months?" "What parts of your role energize you most?" 3. Alignment: Help team members connect their daily work to larger purpose and meaning. People work harder when they understand the "why" behind tasks. Questions that create alignment: "How clear is the connection between your work and our team's priorities?" "What part of our mission resonates most with you personally?" By focusing less on immediate work outputs and more on the human doing the work, you'll actually see better performance, retention, and results. Check out my newsletter for more insights here: https://lnkd.in/ei_uQjju #executiverecruiter #eliterecruiter #jobmarket2025 #profoliosai #resume #jobstrategy #leadershipdevelopment #teammanagement

After 15 years of managing teams, here's the framework I use to turn awkward 1:1s into sessions my team actually looks forward to: 1) Start on a high “What was your biggest win this month?” This isn't just feel-good fluff. When team members know I'll ask this question, they spend the entire month working toward wins we can celebrate together. If someone can’t name a win, that’s data. Now I know where to support. 2) Move to challenges “What’s been your biggest challenge lately?” or “What’s keeping you up at night?” Let them bring up the tough stuff first. You shift from a “me vs. you” vibe to a “we’ll solve it together” mindset. 3) Open the door “Tell me about you. How’s everything going?” This invites what doesn’t fit neatly on a status report: schedule needs, personal context, unspoken worries. Bonus questions I keep in my back pocket: • "How do you feel the team is doing?" • "Which team members do you wish you had more connection with?" • "What are your goals for this month?" • "How can I support you in growing toward those goals?" I conclude the call with a meta-question most managers skip: “What do you wish I asked you more often?” I learn whether they want more help on productivity, learning, career path, or just time to think together. These questions aren't scripts. They're starting points for real conversations. What's your go-to question for connecting with your team?

The most underrated meeting in business: The humble 1-1. Done well, a 1-1 can boost performance, strengthen trust, and keep your best people from walking out the door. Done poorly (or worse, canceled) it erodes loyalty faster than any comp gap. Here's what most leaders get wrong about 1:1s: ✓ They treat them like status updates. ✓ They cancel them for "urgent" work. ✓ They do all the talking. Meanwhile, their best people are quietly planning their exit. After losing top performers due to canceled meetings, I rebuilt my entire 1:1 approach. Here's what actually works: 1/ Make Them Sacred → Block the time like board meetings → Never cancel unless someone's dying → Same time, same place, every week 💡 Reality: Haven't canceled a 1:1 in 18 months. Retention at 96%. 2/ Let Them Drive → Their agenda, not yours → Their growth, not your updates → Their concerns, not your priorities 💡 Reality: When employees own the agenda, engagement scores jump 40%. 3/ Create Real Safety → What's said here, stays here → No judgment on honest feedback → Vulnerability goes both ways 💡 Reality: My team started sharing real problems when I shared mine first. 4/ Focus on Growth, Not Tasks → "Where do you want to be in 2 years?" → "What skills excite you?" → "What would make you leave?" 💡 Reality: Career conversations prevent surprises. Haven't been blindsided by a resignation since. 5/ Track the Commitments → Write down every promise made → Follow through or explain why not → Show them their words matter 💡 Reality: I keep a shared doc. 94% follow-through rate. Trust through transparency. 6/ Listen More Than You Talk → 80/20 rule - they talk 80% → Ask questions, don't give answers → Silence is where truth lives 💡 Reality: The most valuable insights come after awkward pauses. Wait for them. 7/ End with Energy → "What do you need from me?" → "What wins should we celebrate?" → "What's got you excited?" 💡 Reality: Positive endings create positive associations. They actually look forward to 1:1s now. The honest truth? Every canceled 1:1 tells your team they don't matter. Every rescheduled meeting says "you're not my priority." Every rushed conversation screams "I don't really care." And they hear you. Loud and clear. Start treating them like the most important meeting of your week. Because for your best people? They are. Thoughts on 1-1 meetings? Share below 👇 ♻️ Repost if a leader needs this see this (thank you!). Want to leverage simple AI prompts to improve your 1-1's? I created a list of 10 AI prompts to significantly improve your 1-1's. Link in the comments below. Follow Carolyn Healey for more AI and leadership content.