How to Communicate With Donors

I tracked all fundraising activity for one year so you didn't have to. Here is what I found: - A substantive, in-person visit with a donor resulted in gifts 5x larger than donors who only corresponded via phone calls or emails. - It took roughly 12 touchpoints to secure a visit with a donor. That is a high number, but pretty characteristic of human services. - Each handwritten card sent produced 1,169x more value than it cost. - Response rate increased dramatically with a voicemail + email combination. - Gifts from DAFs, gifts of stock, and gifts from RMDs became more popular only as donors were informed that those were giving options. Here is what this means: - Meet in person with donors as much as humanly possible - Make as many attempts as possible to schedule visits with donors - Write handwritten cards. Like, right now. - Reach out to donors with a multi-channel approach (DM me if you'd like to see a call, email, +handwritten card cadence) - Donors don't always know how to maximize their generosity unless you tell them. Inform them of their options if they give you permission! Ultimately, provide value to your org's donors and watch as generosity unfolds for the benefit of the people your org serves!

Your donor meetings are backwards. You prepare the presentation. Practice the pitch. Perfect the ask amount. Then wonder why it feels transactional. Here's how the best major gift officers flip it: 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗿𝘀 → What originally sparked your interest in [cause]? → What does success look like to you? → What concerns keep you up at night? → Who else should know about this? → What would make this gift meaningful? 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺𝘀, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 "We're struggling with X. Based on your experience, what would you do?" 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝘀 Not just what donors say. How they say it. What makes them lean in. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱𝘂𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄-𝘂𝗽 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 "I want to think about our conversation. Can we meet again in two weeks?" 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗱, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗱𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 The conversation is about connection. The folder is homework. The counterintuitive truth: The less you pitch, the more you raise. One MGO changed her approach: Started treating donors like consultants, not prospects. Her close rate went from 30% to 75%. Average gift size doubled. Because donors don't want to be sold. They want to be heard. Your next meeting agenda should be 80% questions, 20% answers. What questions do you wish you'd asked?

Stop pitching, start listening. I lost a $250K gift because I walked into a meeting ready to close. The donor was ready to talk. I was ready to perform. Deck loaded. Budget tight. Impact projections color-coded. I thought this was professionalism. It was just... transactional. Fifteen minutes in I could feel it. The shift. They went polite but distant. "We'll think about it." Never heard from them again. What I figured out: you're not here to convince anyone. You're here to find out what they already care about, then show them how your work connects to that. That donor didn't need a pitch deck. They needed someone to listen. So I rebuilt my whole approach. First meeting? I ask questions and listen. That's it. Second meeting? I share stories, not spreadsheets. Third meeting? I invite them to experience the work firsthand. Fourth meeting? They tell me what they want to fund. The ask becomes a formality. You're already partners by then. My close rate went from 40% to 85%. Not because I got better at selling... but because I stopped trying to sell. People don't fund organizations. They fund visions they co-created with you. What's a mistake that completely rewired how you approach your work? Photo:  Having a deep conversation with Reggie Love, Obama's right-hand man. #DonorRelations #FundraisingStrategy #NonprofitLeadership #ListeningFirst #PhilanthropyTips

Many donor conversations focus on what we want from them. These 5 questions focus on what matters to them: 1. "What first connected you to our mission?" (Reveals their personal story and values alignment) 2. "Of everything we do, what resonates most with you?" (Identifies which aspects of your work they value most) 3. "What impact would you most like to see your support create?" (Uncovers their vision and aspirations) 4. "How would you prefer to stay connected with our work?" (Respects their communication preferences) 5. "Who else in your life might find meaning in this work?" (Opens doors to their network naturally) The magic happens in the follow-up: "Tell me more about that..." Then, you can mirror: "It sounds like you're saying that..." These questions transform transactional interactions into relationship-building conversations. They signal that you value the person, not just their wallet. I've seen these questions uncover major gift opportunities, reveal passionate volunteers, identify board prospects, and most importantly—build authentic relationships that last. What's your go-to question when speaking with donors?

No one donates to get a receipt. Yet, too often, the answer to "Did you say thank you?" is "They should have gotten the automated thank you receipt." You don’t want donating to feel like paying a bill, and neither do your donors. Fundraising is about connection. It’s about aligning passion with purpose. When someone donates, they’re saying, “I believe in this mission. I want to be part of this.” If all they get is a generic receipt in return, that’s a missed opportunity—a chance to say something meaningful, to build a relationship, to make them feel like they belong. A proper "thank you" isn’t just good manners—it’s the beginning of a conversation. And that conversation is vital! Donors want to know they’re not just a source of funding, but true partners in your mission. They want to feel the impact of their gift, not just see it on a bank statement. A receipt says “transaction complete.” A thank you says “We’re in this together.” What would it look like if your gratitude was as personal as your mission? A handwritten note. A short voicemail. A call that’s not about asking for the next donation, but about saying, “You matter.” Those small acts make a huge difference. They create loyalty, deepen engagement, and make giving about more than just money—it’s about shared values, shared purpose, and shared success. So let’s be clear: fundraising is not a transaction. And an automated receipt? That’s not a thank you. Because when you properly thank your donor, giving isn’t just a financial interaction. It’s a human one. #fundraising #donor

CRM says these three donors look the same. Jane (1, 2 and 3) are all 56 years old. They all own businesses, which turnover £10m+. They all came to your last gala dinner. But let’s look a little closer… Jane 1 came with her husband Dom, the CFO of her business. They support you because Dom’s mum died from the condition you work on. They’ve left you a gift in their will. Their employees fundraise annually. Dom is a voluntary ambassador for your charity. Jane 2 came with her partner Liza, a best-selling author whose book (soon to be a Netflix series) features a main character with the condition you raise awareness of. Jane’s cousin’s husband has the condition too. They donated £10,000 at your last event. Jane 3 came with her son. She sponsored her friend £5,000 to run the London Marathon. No other known connection to your cause, yet. Same age. Same job title. Same event. Completely different stories. Completely different needs. Completely different journeys Jane 1 and Dom? Loyal, legacy pledgers. Keep them close, ask for feedback, involve them at multiple levels, share impact. Jane 2? Big potential. Needs a strategic approach, and the right opportunity. Jane 3? Cash ready but not yet emotionally connected. Time to educate and move her before your next ask. Your CRM can’t tell you this. But a conversation can. Stop treating your donors like they’re the same, even when the data says they are. Their motivations matter. Their journeys matter. Their experiences matter. Get it right, and you don’t just steward a donation. You steward a lifetime of support.

My kids' school sent me 10 reminders about early dismissal because keeping my children alive is my most important job. Your nonprofit sent your donors 2 emails this year and wonder why they're not engaged. If I need 10 touchpoints for the most important thing in my life, what does that tell you about donor communication? Let me walk you through what those 10 school touchpoints actually looked like: Three emails over two weeks. Two text messages the day before. One automated voice call that morning. Another text message two hours before pickup. A final email one hour before dismissal. For a three-hour schedule change. Meanwhile, here's your donor communication strategy: One appeal letter in November. One "final reminder" email in December. Radio silence for the other 10 months of the year. Then you wonder why only 15% of your donors give again. You're afraid to "bother" your donors with regular communication. But if my county school system knows I need constant reminders for my most important responsibility, what makes you think your donors - for whom your nonprofit is one of many priorities - will remember you with two annual touchpoints? Your donors aren't thinking about you every day. That's your job, not theirs. The organizations with 70%+ retention rates don't just send better appeals (even though they might). They send consistent communication that builds trust over time. Monthly impact updates. Quarterly leadership insights. Personal stories that show donor investment at work. They understand that staying connected isn't bothering people - it's serving them by keeping your mission front of mind when they're ready to give. You're not competing with other nonprofits for donor attention. You're competing with their mortgage payment, their kids' college tuition, and their vacation plans. Stop apologizing for regular communication. Start providing value through consistent connection. Because in fundraising, donors give to organizations they hear from regularly, not organizations they hear from desperately. See comments for full show

I just discovered the brutal truth about why 82% of our donors disappear within 12 months - and it has nothing to do with their capacity to give. Most fundraising leaders I know are obsessing over call metrics, visit counts, and dollar totals. But here's what completely shattered my assumptions: Donors don't leave because they stop caring. They leave because they stop feeling connected. This revelation became painfully personal when I discovered a client was treating donors like sophisticated ATM machines - focused on transactions, not transformations. Volume over values. Numbers over names. And wondering why retention rates were catastrophic. The wake-up call that changed everything: → 82% of donors giving under $100 vanish within a year → Even major donors ($5,000+) have only 38% retention → We don't have a fundraising problem - we have a relationship problem → The real kicker: Research shows that when we affirm donors' moral identity (not just their wallet), both giving AND retention skyrocket. The moment that haunts me: I sat with a client donor who'd been giving modest annual gifts for years. Instead of pitching an upgrade, I asked why they kept giving. Their answer broke me: "Because this place changed my life. I just never thought my gift could change someone else's." That conversation - born from listening, not asking - led to a six-figure endowment gift. Here's my new framework in action: → Replace wealth screenings with story sessions - What's the personal meaning behind their giving? → Train for emotional intelligence, not just ask strategies - How do we recognize unspoken hesitation and respond with grace? → Measure connection, not just conversion - Are donors feeling seen, heard, and valued for who they are? My confession: I used to think donor loyalty came from clever campaigns and perfect copywriting. Now I realize it comes from repeated emotional experiences that reinforce purpose, belonging, and belief. The question that's revolutionizing how I work: What if the secret to transformational giving isn't better asks, but better listening? What's the most meaningful conversation you've had with a donor that had nothing to do with money? Are you building relationships or just managing transactions? Am I overthinking this, or have we been missing the obvious solution all along? #TransformationalFundraising #DonorRetention #EmotionalIntelligence #MajorGifts #AuthenticConnection #RelationshipFundraising

A homeless shelter sends out two fundraising letters. Letter A says: "Your $100 donation provides emergency shelter and meals for someone experiencing homelessness. We serve over 500 people each month who desperately need a warm bed and hot food tonight. The crisis is growing. Please help…" Letter B says: "Your $100 donation helps people like James rebuild their lives. James used our job training program to earn his commercial driver’s license. Within 6 months, he went from sleeping in his car to driving for a local trucking company. Today, he has his own apartment and sends us a holiday card every year…" Which letter gave you more of a gut-level urge to give? Which letter do you think raised more money? If you said Letter B, you’re not alone. And you’d be right. But what’s most surprising is just how much more effective this shift in messaging was: 💰 3x more donors pulled out their wallets. 💰 The average gift jumped from $75 to $134. 💰 Total donations skyrocketed by 400% (!) This insight comes from groundbreaking research from Jonathan Hasford and his team, who call this the “autonomous aid effect.” They discovered that focusing on independence and long-term transformation—not just immediate needs—compels more people to give and give generously. Because when donors give, they want their money to create lasting change—not just put a band-aid on the problem. They’re moved by transformation, not just urgency. So, how can you apply this to your nonprofit’s messaging today? 🚫 Instead of: "Your donation feeds hungry families" ✅ Try: "Your donation helps families grow their own food through our community garden program." 🚫 Instead of: "Help us provide school supplies to children in need" ✅ Try: "Help students like Maria get the tools she needs to become the first in her family to graduate." 🚫 Instead of: "Support our job training program" ✅ Try: "Help determined people learn the skills they need to never need our help again." One homeless shelter in the study recreated their website, emails, and social media around this principle. Their donations have climbed year after year. Now, ask yourself: ❓ Does your website inspire donors to create lasting change—or just solve an immediate crisis? ❓Do your latest fundraising appeal emphasize immediate needs or independence? Crisis or transformation? Dependence or empowerment? This one messaging tweak can transform how donors see your organization—and how much they give. If you’re not 100% sure your messaging is doing this, it may be time to rethink it. P.S. If you want help revamping your messaging to inspire lasting change—and bigger donations—let’s talk. ___ 📌 This is the last of a series of 5 posts for nonprofits and nonprofit marketers about fundraising messaging hacks to kickoff the new year. Comment ME if you'd like me to send you the links to all five posts!

Welcome to the Future of Fundraising This past week, our team had a great breakthrough while running tests with the autonomous fundraiser. We tested the impact of the autonomous fundraiser independently sending donors in its portfolio a text message with a quick note on their birthdays. These self-written messages were light, kind and didn't ask for a response from the donor. Birthday messages were sent to 32 donors over a two week period. Results were surprising, inspiring and really exciting. Of the 32 donors who received the messages, 14 responded. Each response was positive, kind and surprisingly engaging, clearly proving that donors are not just open to, but excited about, light and personalized engagement from a VEO. Responses like “Thank you so much! This is such a great surprise!!” and, ”Wow, I haven’t heard from anyone at the College in over ten years, thank you for the note” were examples of the donors' tone. It quickly became clear that these lightweight, structured touchpoints significantly impacted the donor’s willingness to engage with a VEO and they are areas that we need to build on. While I’m sure it seems obvious to most frontline fundraisers that sending a personal note on a donor’s birthday is a great way to build a connection, to do this at scale and for thousands of mid-level donors, autonomously, has never been possible before. I believe these responses prove the potential for a significant shift in overall donor engagement where mid-level donors and smaller donors can now be treated with the kind and personalized attention that only major donors had been given in the past. This level of engagement throughout the donor pyramid is why autonomous fundraising is so important. Another surprising and exciting set of outcomes of this lightweight engagement were three independent introductions made by the Virtual Engagement Officer to staff members on campus, at the request of donors. These introductions were all directly related to Career Services – a clear area where the VEO can add immediate value at a time in a donor's life where they might need assistance. These touchpoints are important. A birthday is a known data point and a low-risk introductory point where autonomous fundraisers could universally thrive. This natural introduction touchpoint has the benefit of opening a line of communication between the VEO and the donor. Based on these early results, as long as the communications stay relevant, personalized and impactful, it seems that there are many opportunities to build on these learnings. This week our team is testing more low-risk data points that can enable VEOs to engage with a donor for the first time. The most natural next data point that we’re looking at is stewardship, where the autonomous fundraiser will reach out directly to the donor and thank them for their gift as part of the VEO’s 12-month engagement strategy. Have a great week. #fundraising #philanthropy #philanthropytech #nptech #AI